#Y'ELLO ? ` > [ ASKS ]

[nightmarealm]

thoughts on ford? in general? miss him?

I NEED TO LIVE IN HIS SKIN.

[greeneyedsigma]

Sabo: See, the problem is, Drake, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.

Drake: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.

**

Ace: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

**

Drake: Seriously, Sabo, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to?

Sabo: That’s not important

Drake: I DISAGREE.

**

Luffy, texting Sabo: Sabo! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Sabo: Where are you?

Luffy: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Sabo: I'll call Ace.

Ace, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Sabo: Where's Luffy? She texted me that she was being kidnapped.

Ace: Luffy? Whaddya mean, she’s right next to me-

Ace:

Ace: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Ace: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Luffy: WHO ARE YOU!?

**

Sabo: Ace, I think we have a problem.

Ace: What, the fire?

Sabo: No, the- wait, what fire?

Ace: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

**

Sabo: I'm at a loss for words!

Luffy, later: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Sabo yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

[nobody-nexus]

Even More TADC Incorrect Quotes

(Will Contain Buttonblossom and Abstrabbit)

Caine: Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?” Kaufmo: I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

===

Queenie: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means! Pomni: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want? Queenie: What? No! What has Jax been telling you? Jax, pouring Skittles into his mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch

===

Ragatha: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small Gangle: I would say infinitesimally Caine: And I'd say teeny-weeny! We all know words!

===

Ragatha: So, you lied to me? Jax: That depends on how you define lying Ragatha: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it? Jax: Um, reclining your body in a horizontal position?

===

Ragatha: You are an absolute dork Pomni, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork! Ragatha: sighs Yeah, you're my dork

===

Kinger, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee! Queenie: Friend of yours? Kinger: Nope, wrong number Queenie: ???

===

Jax: A fistfight CAN be romantic

===

Caine, dramatically: They called me a fool! Pomni, sick of Caine's shit: They weren’t wrong.

===

Jax: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Zooble: No, I said "Jax, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset

===

Kaufmo: Pomni, you were so wasted last night Pomni: I wasn't that drunk! Kaufmo: …You called a taxi home Pomni: Yeah! It's called being responsible! Kaufmo: The party was at your house Pomni: ...SHIT

===

Ragatha: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Kinger: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital Ragatha: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you Kinger: But I heard a siren Zooble: That was Pomni Pomni: Sorry, I got nervous

===

Gangle: I’m terrible at expressing myself Caine: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words! Gangle: Yes, but my actions are also bad

===

Gangle: I'm going to ask you to be respectful Zooble: I will "politely" decline

===

Queenie: Do you guys hear something? Kaufmo: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up

===

Jax: If I was married to you, I would put poison in your coffee Zooble: If I was married to you, I’d drink it They kiss afterwards

===

Kinger: finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods Kinger, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

===

Zooble: Thanks for opening my message and not responding Caine: All good Zooble, any time! Zooble: Fuck you.

===

Jax: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome Queenie: That’s 200%. Jax: I’m twice the person anyone’ll ever be

===

Ragatha: Pomni… you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now Pomni: muffled mm hmmm :) Ragatha: ......I should be annoyed but you're adorable

===

Jax: My head hurts Ragatha: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity

===

Pomni: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be? Jax, being a lil shit: Bleach Zooble, genuinely: Sewage Pomni: …Please calm down, edgelords

===

Pomni: That’s illegal, right? Queenie: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop? Pomni: No- Queenie: Then shut the fuck up.

===

Kaufmo, to Zooble: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Zooble: … Kaufmo: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend

===

Kinger, texting Caine: Caine! Help I'm being kidnapped! Caine: Where are you? Kinger: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help. Caine: I'll call Ragatha! Ragatha, answering their cell: Y'ello? Caine: Where's Kinger? They texted me that they were being kidnapped! Ragatha: Ragatha? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Ragatha: Ragatha: I'll call you back. Hangs up Ragatha: MY NEW HAIRCUT LOOKS FINE! Kinger: WHO ARE YOU!?

===

Gangle: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? Ragatha: Wait, what’s the difference? Gangle: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven… if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

===

Pomni to Bubble: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just… Kaufmo: Cockroach ankles! Pomni: Ye- uh, what?

===

Gangle: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Jax

===

Kinger: It’s time to turn this into a real business Ragatha: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Zooble: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Pomni: I handle our accounting

===

At a bank teller window Queenie, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! Caine: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Queenie: Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube Caine: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

===

Jax: What does “take out” mean? Bubble: Food. Kinger: Dating. Queenie: Murder. Pomni: It can be all three if you’re not a fucking coward

===

Gangle: Ragatha! I thought you were dead! Ragatha: No, just in deep cover Gangle: …But it was an open casket Ragatha: It was very deep

===

Ragatha: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die Gangle: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call Pomni: It’s called connotations Jax: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty" Caine: Great news! Language is now banned!

===

Bubble: Kill him. Kaufmo: This is the kind of quality advice I look for

===

Jax: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens

===

Caine: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Pomni? Pomni: No Caine: I think I speak for Pomni when I say it sounds really super

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sun and Moon show incorrect quotes 3.

1.Ruin: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

2.Lunar: When I was your age- Bloodmoon, mocking Lunar: When I was your height. Lunar: Lunar: Listen here you little shit-

3.Bloodmoon, to Moon: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

4.Bloodmoon rushes by with an armful of water bottles Sun: What's going on? Moon: Bloodmoon wouldn't drink water. Sun: …And? Moon: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle. Bloodmoon, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

5.Moon, texting: Ruin, will you please go to sleep? Ruin, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up? Eclipse, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! Moon, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon? Ruin, texting: I’m trying Eclipse, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH Moon, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

6.Eclipse: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Bloodmoon: …I was hungry.

7.Sun, texting Moon: Moon! Help I'm being kidnapped! Moon: Where are you? Sun: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help. Moon: I'll call Earth. Earth, answering their cell: Y'ello? Moon: Where's Sun? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Earth: Sun? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me- Earth: Earth: I'll call you back. Hangs up Earth: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD! Sun: WHO ARE YOU!?

9.Eclipse: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Lunar: Even better! Eclipse: What the fuck did you- Lunar: holding up a chicken Her name is Fluffy.

10.Bloodmoon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Eclipse, used to Bloodmoon being dumb: Sure… Bloodmoon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Eclipse: Okay? Bloodmoon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Eclipse: Bloodmoon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio- Eclipse: Jesus, that one is a little- Ruin, interested: No, no, Bloodmoon, keep going.

11.Bloodmoon, grinning: I have a knife! Earth: Put it down, Bloodmoon. Bloodmoon: Make me! sprints away

12.Monty: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. Earth: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because she is in love with him. Bloodmoon: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for her secret deliveries in the middle of the night. Lunar: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. Chica: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. Ruin: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

13.Earth: Regular soda is too sweet!

Bloodmoon: Diet soda has a weird after taste!

Earth: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn’t have sugar! It’s SPICY!

Bloodmoon: It has other weird stuff in it! I’ll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda!

Earth: It’s SO SWEET like it’s a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink!

Bloodmoon: I’m going to physically attack you.

Earth: Which is better, Ruin?

Ruin: Oh, I usually drink water!

Bloodmoon: Wha- NO!

Earth: DISGUSTING!

14.Sun, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. Moon: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

15.Eclipse: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend? Earth: Tell them how you really feel. Sun: Slowly distance yourself from them. Bloodmoon: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose they have to stop being toxic or pay the price. Eclipse, being handed a sword: …well heck.

16.Moon: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

17.Bloodmoon and Ruin texting Bloodmoon: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely. Ruin: Isn't Eclipse there? Bloodmoon: Yes but I like you more.

18.Eclipse: They… well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? Lunar: Um, murder??? Ruin: Adventuring! Bloodmoon: Tuesday.

19.Eclipse: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Lunar, Sun, Earth, and Bloodmoon: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

20.Sun: Christmas lights? Moon: Check. Lunar: Thermos of hot cocoa? Moon: Check. Earth: Santa suits? Moon: Check. Eclipse: Shovel? Moon: Check. Bloodmoon: Alibi and bail money? Moon: Check- wait, WHAT?!

[yzur02]

Cus I can: TPN incorrect quotes

Ray: So, are you two dating now?

Norman & Emma: Yes.

Ray: Why?

Norman: I happen to find Emma very appealing.

Ray: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Emma.

Norman: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Ray: Did Emma say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Norman: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

Emma: *heading out to see Norman*

Ray: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Emma: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Ray: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Norman: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Emma walks in*

Norman: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Emma : Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Emma : Norman is still mad about it, but me and Ray were drunk and thought it was funny.

Norman: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Ray finally snaps and commits murder?

Emma : I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him.

Norman: Ray got into a fight.

Emma : That’s bad.

Emma :

Emma : Did he win?

Emma: Look at the buns on that guy!

Norman: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Ray: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Emma: I'm not going back to jail!

Yuugo: Hey, Emma?

Emma : Yeah?

Yuugo: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Emma :

Emma : Where’s Ray?

Norman: I asked Emma out.

Ray: Oh, I’m sorry.

Norman: Why?

Ray: Well, I assume she said no.

Norman: No, she said yes.

Ray: Really? Then I’m sorry for her.

Ray: Is this your plan B?

Norman: Technically, this is plan P.

Ray: Plan P? Is there a plan M?

Norman: Yes, but I marry Emma in plan M.

Emma : I like plan M.

Norman: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ray?

Ray: No.

Emma : I do!

Norman: I know, Emma .

Emma : I’m sad.

Norman: I know, Emma .

Norman, texting Emma : Emma ! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Emma : Where are you?

Norman: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Emma : I'll call Ray.

Ray, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Emma : Where's Norman? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Ray: Norman? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Ray:

Ray: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Ray: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Norman: WHO ARE YOU!?

Ray: Emma annoyed me today so I told her that I can’t wait to see what she has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Norman: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Ray: But there is something special about watching the color leave her face as panic takes over.

Norman: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Ray, turning to Emma: How tall are you?

Norman: I am your king, long may I reign!

Emma : Well I didn’t vote for you!

Norman: You don’t vote for kings.

Emma : Well how’d you become king then?

Norman: Ray of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Norman, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Emma : Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Norman: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?

Emma: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?

Ray: And you just ran away?!

Norman: I didn't expect her to flirt back!

[bastardtrait]

alright whatever time for a high school reunion scene. i shot this so long ago i forgot what direction i wanted to take with the dialogue and now it's just this. hope ur ready to read? lmao...

transcript:

[SFX: Phone ringing] TOBY: Y'ello. JAY, on the phone: Toby! We'll be by your place in like, 20. Still wanna hit up Burger King before the reunion? TOBY: What, and miss out on cheap tea sandwiches from the school? JAY: Pffft. I forgot about those. Can't miss out.

TOBY: Well. You guys ready to see all those people? SHANNON, on the phone: Fuck no. JAY: What Shannon means to say is that yes, she is delighted. What about Eddie? TOBY: Eh, he's the same, but...it's just a couple hours out of our day. What could go wrong? SHANNON: Oh, you let me tell you what could go wrong, Toby Lucky.

Kahn-Tineta Horn Auditorium

SPEAKER: Welcome all, to the 30 year reunion of Copperdale High's class of two thousand...

EDDIE: Uuurrrhhghghg. TOBY: Babe, what's the matter? You are easily the most accomplished person out of anyone here. EDDIE: Well, that's exactly it. I don't...I don't want to be perceived right now. TOBY: They'll ask you to speak once, we'll mingle, then we'll go! Big bang, couple hours down the drain, and that'll be it.

EDDIE: if I puke you're cleaning it. TOBY: (snorts) Yes, I said that in my wedding vows.

SHANNON: Oh I fucking hate all these people, Toby. TOBY: Me too, babe. Me too.

ALUMNUS: ...and I love your work, Eddie. I have a print in my hall. EDDIE: Oh! That's really cool. Thank you.

TOBY: Mr. Caulfield! Been a very long time, hasn't it? EVAN: Toby. You've come here with Eddie, eh? TOBY: Yep. You've come here with your husband too, it seems. EVAN: (smiles ruefully) ...yeah.

SIMON: You were a huge inspiration for our year, y'know. You're the reason they changed the name of the auditorium to an Indian woman's. EDDIE: No shit? I had no idea. SIMON: For sure. A lot changed that year thanks to you, Eddie.

[static-errorcode]

part two

featuring

@the-random-creechur, me, @darkleafblack, @toffeechad, @bobateablue, @sleepypillowynight, @demondevilevil, @smoken-bagel, @phobiiii, @coolkiwiyummy, @woodrocko

Pillowy: HELP! I TOLD DEMON I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phobiii, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Static: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

Beanie: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.

Phobiii: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Beanie: You have to teach Bagel how to drive.

Phobiii: ...put the band-aid back on.

Demon: Happy birthday Pillowy! I'm your gift!

Pillowy, whispering to Slimebottle : Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

Pillowy: Help! I’m drowning!

Phobiii: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Pillowy: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

*While the Squad is in a battle*

Slimebottle , trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Static: Take it back now y'all!

Pillowy: What's two plus two?

Slimebottle : Math.

Pillowy: ...I will accept that answer.

Demon: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Bagel: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Demon, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Bagel: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Static: You're pathetic!

Nightmare berry: You're pathetic-er!

Kiwi : You're both losers.

Bagel: Good morning!

Bobatea, checking their watch: Correct.

Bobatea: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Pillowy's birthday invitations.

Static: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Bobatea: "Pillowy's birthday".

Static: So, what do they say instead?

Bobatea: "Pillowy’s bi".

Static:

Static: Works out either way.

Bobatea, texting Static: Static! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Static: Where are you?

Bobatea: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Static: I'll call Demon. Demon, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Static: Where's Bobatea? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Demon: Demon? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Demon: Demon: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Demon: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Bobatea: WHO ARE YOU!?

Bagel: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Slimebottle : Strong.

Beanie: Weak.

Phobiii: An idiot, is what your are.

Static: Can we go out to get icecream?

Phobiii: Did you ask Slimebottle ?

Static: They said no.

Phobiii: Then why did you ask me?

Static: They're not the boss of you.

Phobiii, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Phobiii: *is visibly upset*

Pillowy: Phobiii, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Pillowy: Did you wash the dishes?

Demon: I thought you wanted to do that...

Pillowy: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Phobiii, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?

Pillowy: Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?

Pillowy: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!

Phobiii: Blue is not a flavor!

Pillowy: BLUE FLAVOR!

Bobatea to Slimebottle : Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Bobatea: What are you doing?

Slimebottle , trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Bagel: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Beanie:

Beanie: Why are you eating dirt?

Bagel: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Mp: Oh my Static.

Nightmare berry: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?

Mp: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.

Static: Beanie is so...

Kiwi : Annoying?

Slimebottle : Cute? Bagel: Funny?

Demon: Weird?

Static: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you!

Slimebottle : Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

Pillowy: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

Mp: What is wrong with you?

Pillowy: Many, many things...

Pillowy: And most of them are your fucking fault.

Demon: Phobiii doesn’t look very happy.

Beanie: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

Pillowy: But that place is haunted.

Nightmare berry: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!

Pillowy, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

The end

[xirayn]

Steddie Dads: The Origin of Sam

Read Robin's conversation with Steve here

Robin is too anxious to wait until she returns to the states, and she probably needs to start tracking her cycle or something sooner rather than later, so she makes the international call. She needs to know of Steve talked to Eddie and what they decided. So she calls from the hotel, twisting the cord with her finger.

Eddie answers.

"Y'ello."

"Eddie," she greets and is about to ask if Steve is available because she loves Eddie, she wouldn't be thinking of absentee co-parenting with him if she didn't, but she doesn't want to accidentally say anything before Steve has a chance to talk to him.

"Ah, Robin the Radiant," he responds. She can hear the grin in his voice. "I hear you want loverboy's baby batter for a bun in your oven."

That answers that question.

"Ew. No. Don't- Don't call it baby batter."

"Ah, sorry. Too crass. How about," his tone shifts to a mockery of a stuck up educator, "you would like to insert some of his semen into your vaginal cavity with the goal of procreation."

Robin rubs her temples. "That is somehow worse."

Eddie is having too much fun with this. She can practically see his doe eyes sparkling with mirth and the dimples on his cheek. For a fleeting second, she wonders about how their genetics would combine. She did the Punnet squares for her and Steve on the airplane. She wants it to be Steve, though. He is the one to first accept and love all of her.

"We'll work on the phrasing," Eddie assures. "I'm all for raising your kid, though, Robin. You'd be an excellent mom or aunt or maunt or whatever you want to be and are, in my humble opinion, genetically flawless. I do hope they get your intelligence, though, because yesterday Steve-"

The phone is taken from him before he can finish.

"Hey, Buckley," Steve says over Eddie's playful protests.

"Hey, dingus." There is nothing but affection in Robin's voice. She gets what Tammy saw in him all those years ago; probably more than Tammy did. She can also see why the misfits took so quickly to Eddie. "He's going to be a great dad."

Steve chuckles lightly.

"Yeah." It's an easy, quick agreement with a tone that brings to mind Steve's slight smirk contrasted by the fondness in his eyes. "He is."

[ask-bb8-zed]

Y'ello, mr Zed!

Here to politely enquire what you want for dinner?

- T @ask-mechtech-tango

If you could warm up the leftover lasagna in the fridge, that would be spectacular!

[neko-naruto]

Towing my Heart

Summary: Kenny works odd jobs as a mechanic, he's been in places many people didn't even know existed, so when he gets a call for the crux of heaven, hell, and earth alike, he isn't really fazed.

Warnings: Swearing, violence, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: Car problems are a total bitch if I'm being honest, so have some niche and somewhat complex AU for day of K2 week, the prompt was demons/angels, and I chose angels. @bree-sae hey, hey mechanic Kenny AU, come look at it South Park mutual. anyways! I hope ya'll enjoyed and if you did maybe consider checking out the Ao3 port or dropping a reblog

"Y'ello?" Kenny began with as he picked up the phone, kicking his feet up on his desk as he spoke.

"Hi, uhm, this is McCormick Auto-Repair right?" Came a somewhat nervous voice from the other side.

"That it is, Kenny McCormick speaking, should I bring the paperwork with me?" Kenny asked, "Or if you want to make an appointment I can put you on the other line with Karen."

"No, no I'm not making an appointment," His client said, "My names Kyle by the way."

"Nice chatting with ya Kyle, so, where are you and do you know what the problem is?" Kenny asked as he stood up, pacing a little bit around his office.

"My alternators been going awry for a while now, and it was really fucking with me, so I swerved off the side of the road to avoid it," Kyle explained, Kenny gave a hum to go on. Kyle gave a sigh of embarrassment, "Something scraped and I'm pretty sure something important is leaking."

Kenny had to hold back a laugh, "I'll be over with a tow, where can I find you?"

"You know that gas station right where you can enter Heaven or Hell? I'm just past that on the way out, it's not super far from the town you're situated in if I read your business card correctly," Kyle said.

"That is the worst place to break down," Kenny said, reaching for his tool box as he made his way through the building, "Please tell me you're using an all terrain vehicle with a roof."

"Of course," Kyle said, "Why does that matter?"

"Imp attacks have been rampant lately, so stay in your car until I get there," Kenny said as calmly as he could manage.

"Alright, will do," Kyle said.

"See you in thirty," Kenny said before hanging up.

He tapped gently on the window of the car his coworker was working. He raised his head from under the steering wheel in an instant, he wiped a smudge of something from his face. There wasn't usually liquid in that compartment which was just a bit worrying.

"What's up?" Craig asked.

"I'm heading out to tow someone, could you work on the Jeeps exhaust leak while I'm gone?" Kenny asked, leaning on the sill of the window a little bit.

Craig nodded, "Totally," He hauled himself up from his crooked position, "Just gimme a minute to stretch."

"Be back in an hour man," Kenny said, giving a grin and a fist bump before taking his leave.

-/-/-/-

Kyle sat in his car impatiently, he was really, really glad that he was here to drop off Stan instead of pick him up. He couldn't imagine being towed with Stan and some guy neither of them know, it's a lot easier to ignore conversation if it's just one person. Being told to stay cooped up in his car really isn't helping his morals either, he just wanted to get home so he could help Ike with his homework. And now he's stuck here, in his car, overheating, stupid heatproof enchantment was already wearing off.

He tried to turn on his car and it rumbled to life begrudgingly, he flicked on the AC and let the small amount of cool air wash over him. It'd probably feel colder if he stayed outside for a bit first, but, he couldn't do that. Imp attacks, or angels being pissed off, it's been known to happen before. He'd be fine though, he'd be perfectly and completely safe outside.

He pushes open his door and leans against the side of his car that's weakly running, he stuffs his jacket inside as he kicks around a rock. He just meanders aimlessly around his car and across the barren and cracked road, rarely glancing around as he did so. He looked up at the sound of wings flapping to find imps hanging in the sky holding crossbows and pebbles. He squinted a bit before realizing that he was the one they were going to shoot at.

Fear kept him paralyzed as he watched the pebbles start to come down, aim erring ever closer to his form. Then he swore he could hear the trigger of the crossbow being pull, arrow coming way to fast. He barely moved fast enough to dodge it, the red barbed tip not even bending as it hit the asphalt. He felt like he was doing some stupid dance as he pranced about the small stretch of road to try and survive.

Theoretically speaking he could hide in his car, but then the damage would be worse, and he'd have to pay more, and that did not sound ideal in the slightest. He looked down the road desperately to find that a tow truck was indeed coming and relief flood his form. He practically dashed over to whatever he could hide behind that wasn't his car. He ended up taking cover behind a gnarled tree that was losing it's final leaves for the season. The thunk of arrows and the screech of tires was not exactly pleasing to hear, but the screaming to 'Get the fuck away!' was.

Kyle leaned over to peer behind the tree to find his tow truck guy heaving heavy breaths and adjusting his baseball cap. Kyle could instantly see the golden band on his wrist, bright and luminous despite how barren the area was. He hesitantly stood up and walked over to his car, the heat of the area was really starting to get to him.

The tow truck guy perked up a bit and gave a sharky grin before holding out a hand that Kyle reluctantly took. His hands were calloused and rough, "Hi, I'm Kenny, I take it you're Kyle?"

"That's right, and this is my problem child," Kyle said, gesturing to his beloved Subaru. Forest green and with a couple zip tie patch ups where the metal tore due to excessive rusting.

Kenny stared in silence for a moment.

"We love her, a lot," Kyle said, trying to break the silence.

"I can tell by her condition," Kenny got out after clearing his throat, "Nice zip tie job."

Kyle gave a nervous laugh as Kenny made his way to start looking for the tow hook, "Gotta make do with what you got, Stan did it."

"Oh? And who might this Stan be?" Kenny asked innocently, "If you wanna chat."

"Chattings fine, you're fun to talk to," Kyle answered with.

Kenny popped up from the ground and made his way to lower the bed of his truck, "Then tell me more."

"Stan is my good buddy, since kindergarten actually, I'm pretty sure he has some demonic lineage but that's fine," Kyle explained as he watched Kenny hook up the car to the rope with rapt attention. Maybe he shouldn't be staring at the mechanic like a starving animal, but each move of a limb is just a bit attractive. He doesn't exactly see guys who do physical work a lot from a close distance, he isn't one either, flipping patties, "That or he just really likes the food they serve in hell."

"Hell does have some killer food I'll give 'em that," Kenny said as he started on pulling in the car, he stopped when he noticed it was on, "You okay if I grab the keys?"

"Go for it," Kyle answered with calmly.

"You can keep talking about Stan," Kenny said as he turned off the car and slammed the door shut.

"Yeah, Stan, Stan, Stan, he's trying to become an astronomer these days," Kyle explained as he made his way to the cab end of the truck. He watched with intrigue as the "I never thought he would but here we are."

"Ain't that the truth, I never thought me and my sister would be running an auto-repair shop but here I am! Towing some lovely looking guys Subaru at the cusp of hell," Kenny said, throwing a wink Kyles way, it had him short circuiting, "Just teasing Kyle, I'll stop if that Stan guy is actually your BF."

"He's my best friend, I haven't had a boyfriend for a while now," Kyle said.

Kenny gave a sympathetic hum, "Real shame, hop in if you want a ride to the shop."

Kyle swung open the door and slid onto the torn leather sit, he kicked at a couple empty plastic cups on the floor. He reached for his seat belt and did it up, "Any idea what she's leaking?!"

"I think it's the coolant, which is gonna be a big problem if you don't get it fixed soon!" Kenny said as he held a hand under the leak and inspected the fluid briefly, he wiped it down on his coveralls. He unhooked the winch and secured the wheels in place before hopping in, "Shouldn't cost a whole lot if you got a good job."

"Oh I do not have enough money for an alternator and a coolant leak," Kkyle groaned as he held his face in his hands, he jumped a bit as the truck started, the engine fired a bit. He held a brief concerned look.

"Don't worry she does it all the time," Kenny said as he rolled off down the highway. He reached over absently in the center console of the car, "Now, paperwork."

"Could we do it when we reach the shop?" Kyle asked.

"Totally, but we should talk a little bit about prices though," Kenny said hesitantly, "The alternator is gonna be real fucking hefty, and the coolant leak, depending on how bad it is could cost over a thousand dollars."

"Lovely," Kyle said, "I couldn't pay you in other methods could I?"

Kenny hummed as though deep in thought, "Well, if you take me out for a meal I could do the coolant for free."

"Really?!" Kyle asked, sheer hope clear on his voice.

Kenny gave a warm laugh, "No, fuck no, sorry mate."

"Dammit," Kyle muttered, "Don't get my hopes up like that."

"I'll try Kyle," Kenny answered with.

-/-/-/-

Two flat tires, a busted spark plug, and some body work later and Kenny and Kyle have gotten into a lovely rhythm of things. Kyle calls up and asks Kenny to come over and give him and he does exactly as told like he's a dog. Or the one time Kyle scheduled and appointment Karen got to bring up how great of a guy he is with Kenny afterwards. It was a tense dinner of takeout that night, what with Karen teasing her brother and him giving feeble 'stop it's in response.

And Craig is still the diligent and somewhat stoic worker he's always been, aware of every interaction between Kenny and Kyle when they're in the shop. Much like Karen, and unlike Kyle, he isn't blind to whats got Kenny twisted up inside. He doesn't say anything to Kyle, not ever, more afraid of losing his job than anything else at the moment.

Still, one more call is received and this time it's a blown head gasket.

Kenny is at the scene in an instant.

"Thanks for coming so soon," Kyle got out nervously as he helped Kenny hook the car onto the winch.

"Don't worry about it," Kenny answered with as he started to roll it on, "That's what us repair men are for."

"I know, I know, still feels like I'm taking up way too much of your time," Kyle said as he popped open the passenger door and slid in, no wrappers, "I see you cleaned up the place."

"Some lady was a total bitch and went off about her high heels getting sticky," Kenny said, a near snort of amusement came with the memory.

Kyle gave a hum, "Makes sense."

"Also you stepped on a rotting half eaten burger last time and I nearly vomited right then and there at the notions of more than one being in here," Kenny added on with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah that was hella nasty," Kyle said with a grin on his face as they rolled out. His eyes were quick to fix on the golden band around Kennys wrist.

Kenny took note, "Like the bling?"

"I've been wondering about it lately," Kyle said, reaching out to touch it, Kenny jerked his hand away.

"Family tradition, my sister and brother have one too," Kenny said, he sounded tense, "Don't know how my parents afford some weird gold mineral mix but they did."

"Can it come off?" Kyle asked, Kenny shook his head.

"Nope! We're stuck with it forever, till we're in the dirt," He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he spoke, "I'm just glad it's comfy."

"It should chafe," Kyle said, "But there's no reddening near the edge at all."

"Magic," Kenny answered with.

Kyle pursed his lips before speaking, "Is it what let's you get so close to the crux without a heat guard enchantment?"

Kenny froze up, "I'm naturally immune to heat."

"Bullshit," Kyle said bluntly, "Unless you happen to be supernatural, or like, a demon."

"I'm a little bit not human," Kenny said, "That's all I'll divulge unless you want me to remove your discount."

"I nearly forgot about the discount," Kyle said, backing away from the subject, "Awful sweet of you."

Kenny gave a hum, "You're awfully cute and have a lot of car problems, shocked the head gasket didn't go faster considering the rep Subarus have."

"Well, you're to put simply, an angel Kenny," Kyle said, a smile on his face as he spoke.

"Thanks darling," Kenny got out, grip on the steering wheel tightening so subtly Kyle didn't notice it, "I think the head gaskets gonna cost one point five K."

"Fucking hell," Kyle groaned out.

"Heres hoping only the gasket is gone then," Kenny answered with stiffly.

"Heres hoping," Kyle answered with.

-/-/-/-

"Craig!" Came Kennys voice as he slid over a wrench.

"Yeah boss?" Craig answered with calmly as he leaned on the hood of the car Kenny was working on the underbelly of.

"I think I'm in love," Kenny said, sliding out from under the car.

"Here we go again," Craig said bluntly.

"He's amazing Craig, he's absolutely lovely, shame he's been having good luck with his car lately," Kenny gave a weak laugh as he sat up, cracking his back, "I'd love to see him again."

"He came in here two weeks ago with a popped tire, and just yesterday for an oil check," Craig said.

"Yeah but, I wanna tow his car again, chat with him on the road," Kenny said, pouting a bit.

Craig reached for the golden band on Kennys wrist, "Couldn't you use your angel powers to give him a broken transmission?"

"That'd cost him so much! I can't do that," Kenny said, snatching away his wrist, "I could, but I won't is what I mean."

"You could use it to make him fall for you," Craig offered.

"No way in Heaven or Hell," Kenny said, he fiddled with the halo he so rarely wore above his head, "Besides, we're plenty close even without it."

"Sure, ask him out next time you get a chance to tow him," Craig said.

Kenny rolled his eyes, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

Then the phone rang, and Kenny was rushing over to answer it, giving the regular spiel. He started grinning like a love struck teenage girl the second he recognized the voice. He nodded and gave generic answers before getting the same location he always does and hanging up.

"I'm out to give Kyle a tow," Kenny said, a bit of pep to his step as he made his way across the hard concrete flooring.

"Ask him out!" Craig called out.

"I'm not doing it!" Kenny called back.

When the door of the truck slammed shut Craig was back to working on the car.

"Fucking dumbass," Craig muttered to himself as he jacked the car a bit higher, "That guy obviously likes him."

-/-/-/-

Kenny was just about to ready to rip someones head off at the sight laid out before him. Of course the demons were finally deciding to mess with some mortals just for the heck of it. He slammed his hand on the horn and held it there as he watched them scratch up Kyles car and hold him hostage. Eventually they all turned over and were those tears in Kyles eyes? Oh god they were, and his jacket is starting to char. Kyle was quick to stare at his car again and plead for them to stop scratching his paint job and tearing the zip tie job.

The McCormick took a steadying breath as he slid off his halo and tightening his coveralls a bit. He gently placed his halo to rest at his throat, tight like a collar but held like a beacon of royalty, it brought an eminence to his existence. He pushed open his car door and hopped out, he didn't even bother to close it again as he made his way to the demons and Kyle.

"Fellas I would highly recommend you back the fuck away from my property," Kenny said rather boldly as he gestured to the car, and the to Kyle, "He's my client, don't know what made you think you had rights to touch him Cartman."

Red rose to Kyles face at the notions of being Kennys property.

"What makes you think you have the right to talk to me like that Kenny?" Cartman spat back as he shoved away Kyle.

Kenny brushed past the demons scratching up Kyles car, they had stopped, "Would you believe me if I said the wings on my back?"

"Ha, really wanna bust those bad boys out with a mortal watching?" Cartman countered with tauntingly.

Kenny paused, "Well, I suppose I don't," He rolled up his sleeve, "You and your goons have a five second head start before I start fighting."

Cartman gave a singular laugh, "Sure, your prissy boyfriend is still watching."

"He's not my boyfriend," Kenny said, "Three seconds left."

Cartman stood still.

"Be that way," Kenny answered with.

His fist hit Cartman hard in the sternum, and he shot back, a sting on his chest. He pivoted on his heel and simply reveled in the terror on the others faces, they easily started to run and take off. Kenny chased after them and vaulted himself off the hood of Kyles car, he wouldn't charge for it. He latched onto one of their sets of legs and dragged them down.

"Don't think you're getting away that easily," Kenny snarled as he tossed the demon down, their friend staring in shock. He stamped on their tail and they screamed, "You! Yeah you!"

The demon stayed silent, "Yeah?"

"You have two choices, take your friend and go unharmed, or sit there like a stunned cunt and fucking regret it," Kenny snapped.

They sat there like a stunned cunt.

"Wrong choice," Kenny got out quietly before forcing himself up, big bright wings tearing the back of his coveralls as he pumped them.

The demon attempted to scramble off but it really didn't make any difference in the slightest. Kenny still latched on and hit them hard enough to break their nose, tainted black blood splashing his outfit and his face. They dropped in mere seconds, tail thudding against the roof of Kyles car.

"My car!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Sorry darling!" Kenny shouted back before lunging for Cartman who was barely up.

His hands came to rest at the demons throat and sternum as he ran him into the dirt for a good two feet. Skidding and scraping thick scales along the asphalt, his tail thrashed and he ended up latching onto Kennys waist and wing, claws digging in. Kenny merely grit his teeth before squeezing a lot tighter around Cartmans windpipes.

"Who the fuck said you could touch anything an angel laid hands?" Kenny snarled out.

"You and I both know you're not a fucking angel, you're some shitfaced half blood son of a whore," Cartman spat back in a smarmy tone.

Kenny would've bashed his skull in right then and there, finally ridding the menace that's been lingering around his lineage for hundreds of years.

But he doesn't.

Instead he stands up and backs away, hands raised.

"Fine, leave, go, next time I will kill you," Kenny said as he made his way to his tow truck to find Kyle already hooking up the winch.

There was no idle chitchat as they hooked up the car and pulled it onto the raised bed. Not a single word was spoken as they watched Cartman fly off, Kenny ruffling his feathers in annoyance. Tense silence washed over them as they started down the road, by now they'd be flirting in a half joking manner, making never fulfilled promises about checking out a new restaurant.

Kenny heaved a heavy sigh and Kyle instantly looked over to him, "Please don't snitch."

"What?" Was all that Kyle could produce in response.

"Angels aren't allowed to integrate into human society, I'll get smited by God himself," Kenny explained.

"I won't snitch, you're only a halfling anyways," Kenny said.

"Even worse," Kenny sighed out, "Even worse."

Kyle paused, "The dent in my hood?"

"I'll fix it with a fifty percent discount," Kenny said before swiftly tacking on, "Seventy cause you're cute."

Kyle doesn't respond with any of his usual answers and Kenny knows he's truly fucked up.

"Look, you're probably never gonna come back to McCormick Auto-Repair so can I get something off of my chest real quick?" Kenny asked as gently as he could despite the tightening grasp on the steering wheel.

"Go for it," Kyle said dismissively.

"I fucking, I'm in love with you, all of you. Every last part of you. And I'm not just saying that cause you're good for the business. I'm saying that cause I adore you, everyone can fucking confirm if you don't believe me," Kenny got out as earnestly as he could, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

"Oh thank fuck," Came Kyles shocking response, "Feelings mutual."

"You're not just joking around?" Kenny asked, sounding impossibly unsure of himself.

"I'm not man, you've always been an angel to me and everyone else, and now I know you're half one at least," Kyle explained, "I thought you'd take a hint."

"I thought the same," Kenny answered with, "So, paperwork."

"When we get back?" Kyle asked.

"Of course, of course, but I'm saying we plan a date too," Kenny offered, lifting his grasp on the drivers wheel briefly as he spoke.

"Totally man, that sounds perfect," Kyle answered with impossibly fast, and then he tacks on the nickname, "Angel."

He revels in the way Kennys wings fluff up in a flustered state, "Shut up."

-/-/-/-

Craig is the one to answer the door at the front of the shop, Kenny stuck in the midst of cleaning up a small spill of oil. He finds Kyle standing at the door, grinning a stupid grin and holding a bag in one hand.

"Here for Kenny?" Craig asked, Kyle nodded.

"First date," Kyle said, "I also got you a small gift, and Karen too."

Craig quirked a brow, "Oh really?"

Kyle reached into the bag and pulled out a bag of jerky, "Teriyaki flavor."

"Thanks, Kennys cleaning up some oil right now so you're gonna have to wait," Craig explained as he let Kyle in, "Karens in her office if you want to chat with her."

Kyle simply shrugged, "I'll give her the gift later, it's just some new pens and notepads."

"She'll really appreciate those," Craig said as he led Kyle to the main garage part of the shop.

Kyle peered around the edge of the door, finding Kenny kneeling on the ground and scrubbing idly at a spill of what was clearly more than oil. It smelt like a horrible blend of radiator fluid, oil, and a bit of root beer, clearly strong enough to make Kenny wince with the collar of his shirt pulled to his nose in one hand.

"Oi! Kenny!" Craig shouted, drawing up the hybrids attention, "Your dates here."

"It's already six?" Came Kennys response as he stood up, stretching his arms over his head and shaking down his wings, a few flecks of black fluid coming off.

"Already six," Craig said as Kenny walked over, wiping down his hands on his coveralls. He made sure to avoid the few patches that Kyle had stitched on for him.

"I haven't finished cleaning the spill yet," Kenny got out nervously, "Maybe we could postpone?"

"That's fine, just don't overwork yourself angel," Kyle said before placing a small kiss to Kennys cheek, tactfully avoiding any car fluids that had gotten on his boyfriends face.

"I won't," Kenny said before returning the favor, "Promise."

Craig gently pushed them apart, "I'll work on the spill, just tell Karen that you're heading out before you go."

Kenny pulled Craig in for a quick hug, "Thanks man, I owe you one."

"You owe me one hundred at this point," Craig said with a sigh as he pulled up the zipper on his coveralls.

"Let's go tell Karen what's happening," Kenny said, taking hold of Kyles hand and dragging him over to Karens office.

Kyle gladly followed, interlacing their fingers comfortably, the halo Kenny wore as his bracelet clinking comfortably against the silver band he had gotten for Kyle. A bright yellow Citrine sat embedded in the middle of it with Garnets on either side. It was, if nothing else, one of Kyles most prized possession, he wore it everywhere that he could.

"Hey Karen!" Kenny exclaimed as he waltzed into his little sisters office.

"Yeah bro?" Karen asked as she looked up from her schedule book.

"Me and Kyle are heading out on a date tonight, Craigs in the shop," Kenny said, pointing behind him as he spoke to the shop.

Kyle took a hesitant step in, "I recently got you something."

"Really?" Karen asked.

Kyle nodded as he reached into his bag, "Yeah! Definitely, you're fucking amazing, it's not much though," He placed down the pack of blue pens and the notepad, "I just heard you complaining about running out of pens."

"Thanks Kyle," Karen said as she tore open the pack, "Hope you two have fun, but not to much, Kenny still has work tomorrow."

"Will you please not?" Kenny asked desperately, red tinting his face at the knowing smirk his sister wore, his wings fluffed up whether he liked it or not.

"Hey man! I'm just stating the obvious!" Karen said in jest as she threw her hands up in faux surrender, "Now get out! I have work to do."

"Jeez, no need to be so moody," Kenny teased back as he pulled Kyle out of his sisters office.

He eagerly led Kenny out back to the junkyard, giving quiet 'hurry up's all the way there. There was a slight bounce to his step as he tugged along his partner of one month, maybe two.

"C'mon man, I have a gift out here, for you," Kenny said, gripping Kyles other hand as he spoke.

"Really? You hid a gift, in a junkyard?" Kyle asked, "If it's something small I know for a fact you lost it."

"Hey! I did not," Kenny spat defensively, a bit of a pout on his face as he spoke, "It's something big, trust me."

"Okay, I trust you," Kyle said, then Kenny released his hands before swiveling around behind him.

Kenny raised his hands to cover Kyles eyes, "Cool, then just do what I say, take five steps forward."

Kyle did as told, "Now I'm really fucking curious."

"Rightfully so, turn left," Kenny instructed, following Kyles motions closely to keep his eyes covered all the while. He shuffled his wings a bit as he moved.

"Your feathers are kind of grimy," Kyle said.

"I haven't had a chance to preen recently," Kenny answered with, "Five more steps."

Kyle gave a hum as he stepped forward, "I could help."

"Last time you helped it did not end up with me any cleaner," Kenny chided.

"It was fun," Kyle answered with.

"It was, but this time I want them actually clean," Kenny said, "Ready?"

Kyle nodded, "Sure."

Kenny lifted his hands, "Voila!"

Kyle was absolutely speechless at the sight before him.

"I fixed up a near identical version of your old Subaru for you, gave it some stripes, made it so it sounds really loud when you rev," Kenny explained, as he rifled through his pockets.

"Kenny," Kyle managed breathlessly, euphoria shooting through every inch of his body. That was his car, just like his old one, but better. And Kenny did it for him, bought and fixed an entire car after not even three months of a relationship.

"And here," Kenny began as he jingled the key ring, "Are the keys."

Kyle hesitantly took them.

"Go to her Kyle, she's all yours," Kenny said with a nod before watching Kyle rush off to start up the car.

He was absolutely giddy as he revved the engine and inspected the upholstery. The steering wheel was plush under his fingers and the gearshift had a little heart embroidered in it. The backseats where clearly patched up, some from his favorite bands, some simple graphics. He pulled open the glovebox and found a cardboard box inside, he eagerly pulled it open, finding a hat inside.

Kenny pulled open the passenger door and slid in, "Too much?"

"You are hereby unrequired to get me any gifts for the next ever is how much," Kyle said as he tugged on the green hat, two flaps on either side of his head, "No big ones at least."

"Well, I sort of had the crews help with this one," Kenny said, "Craig helped me choose the seat types and Karen did the little upholstered bits- I just did the technical stuff."

"Still! A whole fucking car! That's insane," Kyle said in sheer disbelief as he hesitantly pulled out the spot and started through the junkyard, "Crazy even."

"I found it a crime you didn't have a working car," Kenny said as he pulled on his seat belt, "Now, we're checking out that new restaurant right?"

Kyle nodded, "Yeah, I also got you a gift though."

"Really?" Kenny asked as he started on stuffing his wings back into his coveralls.

"Really! It's not nearly as good as this one though," Kyle said, reaching into the back for his bag. Kenny handed it over and watched with intent as Kyle pulled out a box.

"hey, I'll love it all the same," Kenny said with a sly smile on his face, one he almost always wore.

"Here," Kyle said, handing Kenny the box.

Kenny popped it open and went silent, eyes wide, "Darling."

"I can get a different one if you don't like it," Kyle said with a nervous laugh.

"Kyle I love it," Kenny got out quietly, absolutely stunned at the gift. He slowly slid it onto his wrist, a silver band like Kyles except with Orange Zircon in the center skirted by two pieces of Lapis Lazuli. He stared at it, "It's beautiful."

"Really?" Kyle asked.

"Yes really! I love it almost as much as I love you," Kenny answered with as he pressed a kiss to Kyles cheek once more, not wanting to distract him from the road too much.

"Cool, now we have actual matchies," Kyle said, lifting his hand and nodding towards his wrist.

Kenny clinked his bracelet against Kyles, "Almost like wedding rings."

"Hey maybe that'll be my next gift for you," Kyle said with a laugh.

"Jeez so I have to wait a whole year till I get another gift?" Kenny teased.

"You'll simply have to wait and see," Kyle answered with.

[solvynessa-solvynessin]

Heyo, how's it hanging?

no wait fuck

Y'ello?

shit

GOOD EVENING MY GIRLS, EARLS, AND NON-BINARY PEARLS!

...yknow what i can work with that

Sorry for the userbox overload... but it's true. credit in the replies <3

Call me Ivy or Mila, and use she/they please!

I'm a cupioromantic (fictoromantic?) lesbian, so i wish i simped for women because they're just really fucking pretty y'know??? but i only simp for non-irl women. (doomed to be alone forever) I'm also girlflux!!

Too many fandoms to count, i will occasionally post art here.

Proooobably autistic but I don't have an official diagnosis soooo 🤷‍♀️

DNI: queerphobics (including transphobes, homophobes, aphobes, discrimination against microlabels, etc), terfs, radfems, proshippers, zionists/anti-palestine/pro-israel

my tags:

music = mila's music mishaps

warriors= catposting

friends = friendos / friend art

life = wow my actual life

my writing = writey-o

SPAM ASKS PLEASE JEEZUS I NEED INTERACTION

[nightmarealm]

you write hi m gay

i wish bill cipher being in a homosexual situationship that he's not over wasn't essential to his character to me but it is.

[thebananwithaplan]

"Uncle sure is taking a while to be back..."

"He said he was was supposed to be home by now."

"...........I'm sure Uncle Bossman's has his reasons." The Oldest scrolled quietly on his phone. Nothing out of the ordinary there, seemingly.

🎙️ "Come on, now. You boys got nothing to worry about. I'm sure your uncle's coming right through that door any moment now-"

The sound of the front door unlocking could be heard, followed by the door opening, footsteps not long after.

"Y'ello! I'm hooooooooome!"

🎙️ "Wow, perfect timing. See? What'd I tell ya? Just as exp-"

".................................."

🎙️ "-aaaaand I stand corrected."

Of course the room would quickly go silent. Normally Banana would give little to no indication of what his whereabouts were, but one does not simply arrive with a whole human child without having everyone else stare in bewilderment. And #5 couldn't help but stare in return; like, yeah. Those are living, smaller bananas. And a sentient microphone...

Surely, DB's thought about how to explain what happened in a careful, sensitive manner that leaves little to no questions needed, right?

"...Just to keep it short, reeeeeereeeally bad stuff happened and she'll be hanging out with us until we can get her back to her real home. We're to treat her like a guest and make her feel as welcome as possible in the meantime. Got it?"

Before anyone could try to ask what any of that even meant, the Oldest, ever on his phone, was the first to answer.

"Yeah, sure. I'm cool with that."

"Well in that case, same!"

"......................Fine." Peel's the only one who still had a couple questions in mind, but when has his uncle's judgement ever gone wrong before? ...Nobody tell him.

Peel wasn't the only one who had questions. The Announcer would have asked as well, but one look at the human before him and he could tell that it's been a rather loooooooong series of events for them. Maybe he'll ask those questions another time; it's rather late anyways.

🎙️ "Well. I'm gonna assume my work here's done for today, sooooo. See ya next time."

"See ya!" Banana waved Nouncey off as the microphone made his exit. "Now that that's settled... what did you say your name was...?"

" ...........H............Ha....na........." Even though nobody's asked up until this point-

"Hannah! Right! Riiiight... Anyways, just wanted to ask, you don't have any allergies, do ya?"

"......N-not really...."

"Good! In that case, who's up for a PB&J tonight?"

".........What is...... a 'PB&J'?"

"..........................." Sorry for the pause. He just. Didn't expect to find someone who hasn't heard of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich yet when he's been so used to them for a long time himself...

Not the only time he'll find himself unprepared for what's to come.

[sonias-yamper]

Hiyah! Name's Sonia!! I'm the professor in Wedgehurst. ^u^

A lot of my friends made accounts on here, so I decided to as well!!!

Feel free to ask me anything about Pokémon, or just things in general!

Remember to drink enough water!

Y'ello, this is a pokemon irl/rp blog for Sonia from pokemon swsh!

I'm the person running @official-raihan, and I made this so I could bully him and be a lesbian (not) on main

[pokepalsarchive]

The sleepover was such a blast; filled with snacks, games and dares! Naomi and Ninasha were thrilled to be invited to be a part of this event! As the night went on, Ninashas' phone started to ring.

Ninasha picked up the call. "Y'ello!" Ninasha answered. "Oh, Ninasha! Just calling to see how you're doing!" another voice replied. "Oh, hey, Mom! Everything's going GREAT! Naomi might have a sugar rush after tonight, though, heh..!" Ninasha said. "Oh my! Well, in that case, it's getting a little late." her mom replied. "Well, we were just wrapping up anyways! I'll call you when I'm almost home!" Ninasha said. "Ok, dear! See you then, stay safe!" her mom replied in a cheery tone. click

After finding Naomi, she starts to pack up for the trip home. "Naomi? Mom called and she said she wants us to head home now." Ninasha said to Naomi. "We're leaving so soon? Aww, ok.." Naomi said in a dissapointed tone. "Look on the bright side, at least you can bounce off the walls during your sugar rush without worrying about breaking stuff!" Ninasha jokingly replied as Naomi packed up her bag.

With bags in tow and good memories shared, they turned to the guests and waved goodbye. "Goodbye, everyone! It's been fun hanging out with y'all!" Ninasha beamed. "Miss Marshmellow is happy that she met all of you!" Naomi cheered. With their goodbyes shared, they leave the Dragonspiral Tower to head back home.

Naomi and Ninasha are no longer available for LoU Sleepover asks.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman + Wayne Jackson *Separately* x Reader || Drabble Set

Plot: This is a Vs set. Its Jim calling you to go check your dumbass ex (Wayne) out of the hospital Vs Wayne calling you to go check your dumbass ex (Jim) out of the hospital.

*Bickerman Twins AU.

Warnings: Sexual references in Drabble #2. Movie spoilers? These are both set post-movie (Final Chapter for Jim).

Jim calling you to go check your dumbass ex (Wayne) out of the hospital:

"-Y'ello?" You ask quickly, tucking the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you awkwardly unlock your front door and slip into your apartment; chucking your keys onto the coffee table and flopping into the couch to rest as soon as you make it inside. My god you had a long day. You just want to lay down, put on a true crime doc and order pizza the rest of the night.

"Hey, s'this Y/N?"

"Yes," you sigh, leaning up off the cushions and reaching for the TV remote set on the counter. "Who's this?" The voice is quiet and tinny; there's very terrible reception wherever they are, thats for sure.

"Hey, there, Y/N its Jim."

Immediately you drop the remote and straighten your spine; going into serious mode. "Oh. What is it?"

"Well thats not a nice tone."

"You never call with good news. Where's Wayne?" Usually he's in jail again, or he needs money. Its one of the two, and you always have to go and get him. The cops always call his brother- but Jim calls and brushes off the responsibility onto you. Every time.

Which is ridiculous, considering you aren't even with Wayne, anymore. Thats what friggen breaking up means!- you don't have to deal with the restless old bastards crap, anymore!

Or at least thats what you thought- before you met these people.

"Yeahhhh, thats actually what I wanted t' call, about... "

"Why, I'm shocked." You huff, shaking your head and kicking off your work shoes before getting up to put on comfier ones- sneakers. Once again you tuck the phone in between your ear and your shoulder as you tie them up. "So, what's wrong; where is he?"

"Wayne's, uh- well, he's- he's-- He's in the hospital." Any frustration you were feeling slips away from you like smoke through your fingers, your heart thudding in your chest. He's where!?- "I haven't been by, but I've been told its lookin' pretty bad. Got hit in the head with somethin- 'nd they thought he was already dead, apparently." When Jim doesn't hear a word come from your end of the phone for a few too many moments (You wouldn't be surprised if he could hear your heart beating so loudly, though. You can sure hear it hot in your ears), he has the good sense at least to employ a tiny bit of tact. "... but, uhhh- I'm sure he'll be fine,.. We uh- we Bickerman's are a tad stubborn, so... "

Finally, you gather your wits about you once again and take a deep breath, nodding and grabbing a notepad and pen off the coffee table by the remote. You may not be with Wayne anymore, but- "Thanks Jim. What hospital? I'm going right now." But if he needs you, you have to be there. You really liked (loved) the rowdy old bastard once, after all, and you like to pretend you're over it, but-

After he gives you the address, and before you have a chance to hang up (Leaving Jim to go right back to hunting whatever expensive endangered wildlife in the middle of nowhere that he's definitely not supposed to be hunting), he pipes up again real quick. You're not really listening though, already configuring in your head the rout you're going to have to take to get to this hospital. How long is going to take? Can you call the hospital on the way?? Oh, shoot, you're not his emergency contact anymore- "And hey- I promise, next time I'll call for a nice reason. Hm?~"

"Oh, sure." You roll your eyes sarcastically, hanging up and shaking your head. Most of the time you think Jim's the slightly better brother- then he says something like that and you remember they're not that different. Wayne's just more upfront about it.

After switching coats, you head right back out your front door that you just came through and down to your car again.

But- maybe you aren't as over it as you like to think you are.

Wayne calling you to go check your dumbass ex (Jim) out of the hospital:

"This is Y/N! Make it succinct and if at all possible make it chipper, I'm about to get on a bus and go to work." You quip, answering your phone with a cheery voice which should not be possible on this frosty 6am morning- but hey, its a wonder what you can accomplish after a g i a n t coffee with 6 sugars and 3 marshmallows.

"Well hey there, Y/N~ You still taken the bus? Y'know I could give ya a ride if you want~ "

As soon as you hear that bastard's voice on the other end you take the phone away from your ear and hang up- because nope. No. You do not need to be sexually harassed by Wayne Jackson today; no amount of pink marshmallows covered in coffee will make that fun for you.

'we're twins, we've got the same equipment you know' oh har har har. You roll your eyes upwards, before shaking yourself of the memory. You didn't have to put up with that when you were with Jim- and you certainly don't have to, now. Didnt he get the news?? You're done. Its done. Its been done for 3 weeks now.

And its been hard! You loved Jim, so- yes. Its been hard. But even so, you know that you made the right decision in leaving, you're s u r e, but the absolute LAST thing you need is Wayne dumping an extra pile of crap on you for you to deal with! No thank you!

-your phone is ringing again, goddamnit.

"Ughhhhhh," You pick it up, pressing the screen to your ear and snapping an irritable "What!?" into the reciever.

"Alright alright alright- don't hang up on me again, huh? I got news."

"Is it that you're moving to Australia and losing my number that you stole out of Jim's phone?? Because- great."

"Not exactly... " You can picture him scratching his beard, and roll your eyes. Can he hurry up?? Your bus is a few minutes away and you'd rather not be talking to him where early morning commuters can hear you- those poor sods don't deserve to hear the foul things that are destined to come out of your mouth all depending on where he goes with this. "Uh- my brother is... "

"Your brother is what? The better Bickerman son? Yes, we can agree, though we all know Nathan takes home the trophy. Can we hang up now?- "

"He's in some bad shape." ... Your brain stops working for a moment. What? "I got a call from a hospital back in Maine and, well," A chuckle reverberates through the phone connection and you're not sure whether its just nervous or he's really that horrible, but either way- it makes you feel sick. "Sounds like people might finally be able to tell us apart. I'll be the handsome one~ I figured you might like to know 'bout it."

... Slowly, you step back from the bus stop, forgetting your urgency to catch this bus and get to work. Your head is swimming. What happened?? Maine??? Thats where Delores lived, and- got eaten by- "... what hospital?"

"Oh, you're gonna go visit? How sweet~ And here I thought you left him and I finally had a shot here~ "

"Wayne."

"... "

"Wayne!"

"Fine, fine, fine. Its- "

As soon as the name of the hospital is out of his mouth, you hang up, block the number and order an uber.