#Wow there is so much Grian here

[craftingcreatures]

I don't really interact with the fandom much, but something about Joel's win after five seasons of lore-building surrounding the winners is so freaking hilarious to me. Like, you've assigned every winner so far an association with a celestial object and drenched them in poetry and beautiful artwork, but Joel is pretty much allergic to stuff like that. So the vibe I get from this whole situation is something like this:

...

"Welcome, visitor, to the temple. Please follow me as I give you the grand tour of our pantheon. Please do not touch the statues."

"Thank you, elder."

"First is Grian, acolyte of the Watchers, first to ascend to the pantheon. 'Twas he who created the sacred games and he who claimed the first victory. His sigil is the sun."

"Fascinating."

"Second is Scott, the upright, who earned his place in this sacred circle through loyalty and honour. His sigil is the stars."

"Oh wow."

"Here is Pearl, the spurned lover, whose seat here was secured through her thirst for blood and vengeance. Her sigil is the moon."

"That's a lot of dogs."

"They were her sacred animal. Moving on... This is Martyn, the trickster. He took his place through subtlety, betraying those who were closest to him. His sigil is Mars, the red planet."

"Metal."

"Here is Scar, the lonely warrior. All underestimated him, but he rose to victory in spite of the scorn of his opponents. His sigil is the earth."

"Inspiring."

"This statue belongs to Cleo the Undead. Though her season's inclusion in the canon is debatable, few would challenge her inclusion in the pantheon. Her sigil is... debated."

"Okay, cool."

"And finally, this is Joel. He has a car"

"What"

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Hermitcraft / Life Series Fic Recs

Because I love so many of them...

I'll split the fics into completed and updating fics, and try to only recommend currently updating fics (i.e., not abandoned). I'm going to write a little about why I like each fic and what the general vibes are - so this is also a kind of review I guess?

I've tried to @ the authors if they have a public tumblr. Sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged, I can remove any @ if you ask (or if I have embarrassingly tagged the wrong person). Anyway, enjoy, and I appreciate reblogs because I want as many people to see these fics as possible!!

This ended up being incredibly long so I'm putting a divider here. Click to keep reading!!! Also, fair warning: shipping ahead! Some fics will have mild sexual content, please read the tags if you are unsure <3

Updating Fics

I have already recommended Help Me To Breathe, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart), and There Are Monsters Nearby in this post, so I won't explain why I like them a second time, but definitely check them out!!

Death's A Good Gig by @mawofthemagnetar is probably going to be finished by the time this post gets to you, reader, but I'm putting it here anyway. It's short and sweet, one of my favourite representations of Zedaph (or, Zedeath) I've read, and just a joy to experience. If you like grim reapers and discussions of unions, this one is for you. Also I need more Zedaph in my life.

Look, I'm Sorry, Please Stop Scaring Everyone by @cat-in-the-desert reminds me a lot of a particular TV drama I liked when I was younger, which followed a similar premise. This fic follows Mumbo (vampire) and Grian (ghost) as they get up to various housemate shenanigans and meet their local magic-expert and salesman Scar. This fic is fun, but still includes a nice amount of Feelings and hinted-at Angst which I really love. It's lighthearted, but never boring.

It Hurts To Hope by Inquillitory is my favourite of the "Grian crash lands into Hermitcraft and causes problems for everyone" genre. Seeing how many fics there are with that premise, I think that says a lot. It handles Grian's weird Watcher stuff really well. Honestly, I just want to know what happens next!

killing the boy in the tv by @raspberrystruck is like a sickfic on steroids. If you want Grian with so much past trauma he forgets how to function in society, this is basically the fic for you. I really love how hybrid traits affect the characters' interactions in this fic, and how everyone is kind of messed up because of the imbalance Grian brings. It is wonderfully descriptive in all the right places!

Love Me Like I'm Dead by @daniofcrows is such a gem. You know how hard it is to find good Xisuma whump? It's impossible. I absolutely love how Xisuma and Evil X are characterised in this, and I am obsessed with the unique take on hanahaki disease which I have never seen handled in this way before. The balance between flashbacks and present day is maintained wonderfully and I cannot wait to continue reading this one. Wow.

Oh, you wanted me to do a verse? by @bugbbear is... kind of indescribable. It's horror. It's comedy. It's the apocalypse. It's boatem. Scar eats someone. One of the most interesting and unique apocalypse stories I have read. Slowly updating but worth the wait, in my opinion. This one NEEDS more attention.

So Much For Stardust by @a-plethora-of-peters is basically one of my all-time favourites. Which is a damn good achievement seeing as I don't usually read ZITS fics. Like, ever. In this fic, Skizz is a human abducted and hurt badly by aliens, now recovering in the care of good aliens who don't know how 'sentient' he is. Every update of this one makes me smile, it is wonderful. I love how the characters are written and how the different perspectives are shown. It is just great.

Solar Waltz by @raspberrystruck and aroundtheclock is a brilliant and very very sad regression fic. I love fluffy regression fics as much as the next guy, but this one just... hits different. The hurt/comfort levels are off the charts. Grian is so damn cute the whole time, while also being harrowingly complicated and sad. I am so ready for whatever comes next.

Tango's Castle of Cards by @evilrat-sabre is the one where Tango is a BUG. He's just a little guy (horror). This one is so beautifully written, with poetry-type interludes and perspective changes that really make everything feel so much more impactful. Finding out your buddy is a murder bug isn't the easiest thing in the world. I love this so much.

Traveling Thieves {Dark Fantasy AU} (series) by @amethystfairy1 is basically one of the series of all time. I know I keep saying that but it really really is. I love a good fantasy au, and I love an au with hybrids even more. In this world, hybrids are treated like slaves, but it isn't all doom and gloom for the main characters of each installment. There is a lot of hurt/comfort and the different stories feed into each other in really interesting ways. I try to read as much as I can, though I've missed a few because my emails are buggy. Definitely worth reading these fics, especially since now they're all starting to come together!

Completed Fics

Solving Counting Sheep by @theminecraftbee might have rearranged my brain chemistry a little. Another strong contender for 'fics that inspire me to kill Grian', this time with a more concrete notion of "replacement". Three is my favourite fucked up living weapon. It's so rare to find Evo fics in this day and age, too. This fic had me immediately clicking on every update as soon as I got the emails.

Rescue Fire by @imaginethat0327 is one of the most unique takes on a fictionalised life series game that I have ever read. The whole concept is explained in a realistic and easy-to-follow way, as we learn what's happening with the characters. There are several brilliant storylines happening in this one, but my particular favourites are Jimmy & Tango, Joel, and of course Scar & Grian. This fic is full of whump and, well, read the tags, it isn't always pleasant, but those are my favourite things ever. Definitely worth checking out this fic and its currently updating sequel.

don't you know about me? by takenbadgering is a wonderful comedy of errors with just the right amount of angst for a realistic setting type of fic. If you enjoy polyamory miscommunications, rave aesthetics, kandi, school teacher dynamics, and a lovely blend between grumbo, cubscar, and mumscar, this is the one.

Eventually the Birds Must Land by @milo-hypno follows a polyam ship I would have never thought of, and I cannot believe how much I loved it. This married-as-friends fic premise is wonderful, and captures the main trio (Grian, Mumbo, Impulse)'s personalities so well, while balancing them with the incredibly terrifying descriptions of the Watchers and their power. There's a lot of angst here, but it is ultimately hurt/comfort to the maximum degree. I loved reading it as it updated. Yay for gay marriage!

From The Archives (series) by @sixteenth-days was the absolute inspiration for my own Comms AU, and I will never forget its influence on me. As someone basically unfamiliar with TMA, I thought this series might be hard to follow, but it was not! I read all 57 parts in the span of two days, and I think it altered my brain chemistry. Please read it, even if (especially if) you don't know anything about TMA. The Cleo and Grian storyline lives in my head rent free. I mean it. This is horror at its finest. Also there's an audio series of this fic being released rn, which is very cool.

SUPERCRITICAL by @masque-of-plague hits different. It is such a wonderful take on the superhero/HotGuy trope, and it gets so super dark at some points! This one really takes swings at it's fictional government, which of course I love, while at the same time building this brilliantly emotional relationship between Scar and Grian. I do enjoy a bit of enemies to lovers, but the actual plot mixed into the story makes this one extra special. It is thrilling, with action that I don't get to see too often! Great work.

I am weary with contending! is one of the mumscarian fics of all time. From 'this house has people in it'-type horror, to magic gone wrong, to childhood trauma, to attempted assassination, to gender fuckery, this fic has it all. Usually I don't go for convex siblings, but this one is good enough to get a pass from me. Amazingly detailed worldbuilding alongside a brilliantly creative story.

It Spreads by @foxxology may not count as a fic, actually. It's a comic. But it's posted on ao3 so it counts. I was obsessed with this one as it was updating, honestly. It rocked me to my core. The art is phenomenal. The writing is brilliant. I love sculk.

Luck of the sea by Sleepy_Duck is a lovely take on mermaid and human interactions, with Grian as a marine life conservator and Scar as a very neglected mer. This one takes us emotionally in all sorts of directions, and offers lots of hope for the future of the characters. I heavily enjoyed this fic - if you like mermaids and marine biology, check it out.

there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag is another mermaid fic but with a pretty different vibe. First of all, it follows what I would consider a rarepair Doc/Martyn. Second of all, reading this as it updated was a thrilling experience that nearly made me cry at certain points. I love how the relationship builds in this fic. It is honestly amazing. The whole idea of experimenting on a sentient sea creature, learning that he can communicate, then losing funding and having to save him from being dissected?!?! It's crazy. I love it.

Thus concludes my fic recommendations. I hope you enjoy at least some of these, and consider reblogging to spread these wonderful fics around <3

[watarfallar]

Anyone else stuck in the desert? Yes? Same. Have some incorrect quotes for our suffering.

Scar: That was a joke. Say ha. Grian: Ha. Scar: Now do it again. Grian: Ha. Scar: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

Scar: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? Grian, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Scar: English is CRAZY. Oregano is both a spaghetti leaf topping and a form of paper art! Grian: What is this "paper art" you speak of? Scar: That shit where you make cranes and stuff out of folded paper! Grian: … Scar.

Grian: Last week, Scar tried to flush a live lobster down the toilet "because it worked for Nemo".

Grian: What are your three best qualities? Scar: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

Grian: Don’t stay up all night, Scar. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Scar: I baked you a pie! Grian: Really?! What flavor? Scar: pulls gun out of the pie DEATH!

Scar: Why are we friends? Grian: Poor decisions on your part.

Grian: They couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. Scar: That's not true! I found my way out of a paper bag yesterday!

Scar: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much? Grian: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is! Scar: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!! Grian: You take that back!!! Scar: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

Scar: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avacodos get six. Grian, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avacados!

Scar: Wow, I really think I would’ve gotten along with young Grian! Grian: I know. That’s why I decided to change everything about my life.

Grian: Wake up! The sun is shining! Scar: What do you want me to do, photosynthesis?

Grian: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Scar: Scar: I like you.

Scar: School sucks. Grian: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job. Scar: What are jobs like? Grian: They suck.

Grian: Go fuck yourself. Scar: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!

Scar: I'll offer you some friendly advice- Grian: I don't want your advice. Scar: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Grian: So, what are we doing? Scar: Wasting our lives. Grian: I meant for lunch…

Grian: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again? Scar: There isn't another one. You're crazy. The entire fandom: GASLIGHT! IT'S GASLIGHT!

Grian: Do you think I’m ugly? Scar: It’s not about looks, Grian. What’s valuable is on the inside… Grian: Scar… Scar: For example, someone's heart. Grian: Aw… Stop it- Scar: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know. Grian: Seriously, stop.

Grian: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Scar.

Scar: Don’t trust everything you see on the internet. Grian: Pfft. What possibly nonsense could come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that the Earth is actually flat? Scar: Takes away Grian’s phone Yeah, that enough for you.

Scar: honk. Grian: WHAT. Scar: HONK. Grian: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Scar: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like? Grian: Do you make any other kind?

[frozenjokes]

Put Me In Perspective, Or At Least In My Place (Another Retrospective On Aromantic Love)

“Above your head like this. Both hands, look at me. Both hands, Grian. It doesn’t take a lot of strength, just step forward and release around eye level.” Cleo demonstrated, holding the axe at the end of its handle and releasing the weapon. It flew in what had to be a perfect arc before burying itself in the wood, a bullseye of course. She threw the axe like she’d done it a thousand times, and honestly, she probably had.

“Don’t people throw them with one hand, too?”

“Yes. It’s just harder. Try this first.”

Grian pursed his lips, stepping forward, throwing, then squeaking when the axe bounced terrifyingly off the wood, hitting the wall before rolling and bumping the curb that separated the stall and his feet. Ah. That was frightening.

“Nearly took out our ankles there,” Cleo said, not sounding all too concerned.”

“It- Can it bounce over that?”

“Not easily. But not uncommonly either. Try not to do that.” Cleo strode forward, plucking the axe off the ground and handing it to Grian. “Don’t throw it while I’m in there.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Maybe you won’t, but some people need to be told,” Cleo grunted, ripping the axe she’d thrown from the wall and spinning it thoughtlessly in her hand before burying it in the stump that split their twin alleys. “Try again. Keep your wrists straighter, release at eye level.”

Grian shifted his weight, frowning, “Surely you brought me here to talk about something else other than axe throwing. ‘Cancel your plans, I’m picking you up,’ is an extremely ominous message to receive from a stranger at 8:00 at night. How did you get my number again?”

“Pearl. And we aren’t strangers, we’ve met at least once at that big friend get-together thing, you know. That awful pizza place? Regardless, I’m friends with runners, so force is necessary 90% of the time. If you want to skip to the talking, we can talk, but I don’t know if you want to hear what I have to say.”

“I probably don’t.”

“Then start throwing and I’ll do the work. You’ll get it to stick, just give her a few tries.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith in me.”

“Everyone gets it eventually.” Cleo looked relaxed, unconcerned, and Grian tried to match the energy, but he couldn’t quite shake his anxiety. Well. He was here, so he might as well make the most of it.

It took six more tries before he got an axe to stick. Wow that was satisfying- but the air seemed a little too heavy to celebrate more than Cleo’s tasteful clapping. Maybe he should come back here with Pearl and Impulse.. Jimmy maybe? He’d kill to see Jimmy try this actually, even if he’d likely crush Grian in the end. When Grian went to collect the two axes from the stall, Cleo finally spoke.

“I’d like to know what’s going on between you and Scar. Properly. It’s been a particularly shitty week for our friend group and Scar’s been in a foul mood for more reason than one, so we haven’t talked. And I’m not just here to interrogate you about Scar either, I’d really like to know what’s going through your head as well. Have you seen each other this week? Have you talked at all?” Cleo was firm, but nothing about their voice was hostile. There was a worried longing there, the kind of urging that came from a deep concern for a good friend.

Grian took a deep breath. “Not much. I saw him a couple days ago when I was getting lunch with Pearl at the zoo. He only texted me one other time to tell me he wouldn’t be.. we have this mutual place we hang out, and he just told me he wouldn’t be around this week. Too much going on. I’m really sorry about Etho by the way, I hope you guys find him.”

“Thank you. Bdubs got in contact with him yesterday, so we know he’s alright. We still don’t know where he is or when he’s coming home, but from what I’ve heard, he’s keeping frequent contact. Hasn’t called me or Scar, but that’s typical. With any luck he’ll be back safely soon. That’s what Etho said anyway. Still all sorts of concerning, but we’ll take what we can get.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Grian tried not to be hurt that Scar hadn’t updated him, but failed miserably despite the fact it probably wasn’t any of his business. He just would’ve liked to know, that’s all.

“It is. So how did that clusterfuck of a night happen between you and Scar? How did that start?”

“Oh,” Grian mumbled, fidgeting with the axe still in his hands. Cleo took the other from the stump, throwing it almost lazily, like the question didn’t matter to her much at all. Grian decided to do the same, focusing on the secondary activity instead. “Well.. he invited me over. That was a couple hours after our first spat, and I was still feeling weird about it all. Wasn’t well.”

“I figured. He reached out to you first?”

“Yeah. We weren’t supposed to do anything though, just.. get it out of our systems. I was so mad at him- I’m still so angry, and not even for any reason in particular. I’m just mad.”

“Then how’d you end up in his bed?”

“Oh. I kissed him. He was pissing me off.”

“Right.”

Grian scoffed, snagging his axe off the floor of the alley after a failed throw. “How did you think this all went down? He told you the jist, basically. Not nicely, but he told you.”

Cleo shrugged. “I just wanted to know a few more details. Place my judgment a bit more accurately. From where I’m standing, you’re both idiots self destructing in the dumbest way possible. I would like it very much if this didn’t happen again, not only because it’s bad for both of you, but quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion.”

“Come on.”

Grian curled his lip. “Listen, I don’t understand why it’s such a huge problem for Scar and I to work out our differences with a little violence. We're consenting adults and the sex was kinda nuts, so if we’re both having fun there’s no issue. In any case, I’m pretty sure this is solving all of our problems.”

“Oh? Do explain.”

Grian rolled his shoulders, throwing his axe and getting it to stick for the second time, “We’re just letting off steam, Cleo. Two months of awkward tension does a lot to a man, it does a lot, nothing good. This is like a shortcut to the whole ‘tiMe hEaLs aLL’ bullshit, we’re like- getting it out of our system.”

“Uh huh. And this is going to resolve your unrequited feelings for Scar how..?”

“I’m getting it out of my system, Cleo.”

“Ah, so having really good sex with a man who isn’t looking for the same things in a relationship as you is going to fix you.”

“You got it.”

“That’s the dumbest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard.” For the first time, Cleo’s axe bounced off the board. She strode to pick it up wordlessly.

“Alright.” Grian landed another axe, just inches from the bullseye.

“Grian,” Cleo sighed harshly, and Grian avoided her eye, uninterested in her scrutiny, “Listen. As dysfunctional as the both of you two are, I don’t actually believe this couldn’t work. You two have been as thick as thieves for ages, and as much as you’re scrapping now, I don’t think that’s indicative of how you actually feel about each other. You’re just hurt people hurting each other, and you don’t have to be. For goodness’s sake, Scar would have been happy to be in some sort of relationship with you, he just didn’t want to lose you altogether. Somewhere I think that got lost in translation.”

“Scar doesn’t want to date me. He only offered to appease me, it was as obvious as anything.”

“I don’t doubt there’s truth to that. He doesn’t do well under the pressure of a love confession, and that’s no one’s fault. But his feelings on romance are a lot more complicated than ‘wanting’ or ‘not wanting.’ You did the right thing to refuse him, Grian, he wasn’t ready. But I think it’s worth talking to him again. Laying everything out on the table. And I can’t speak for what Scar wants, his brain is a mess of tangled wires and sparks, but he’s obviously had plenty of time to think about this, and he might surprise you. If there’s one thing I do know about Scar, it’s that he loves to give things like this a try. And I mean that. He does love it.”

“But Scar won’t love me. Not like I want to love him.”

Cleo hummed, thoughtful as they considered the ceiling, “You know, I don’t know if that’s true.”

Grian huffed, “Unless I’m misunderstanding what ‘aromantic’ means, I don’t see what you mean.”

Cleo shrugged. “Scar loves everyone in big sweeping gestures. That doesn’t change from person to person, whether they’re family, close friends, lovers.. it doesn’t change. But there are still levels, right? There’s still loyalty. You’re thinking of Scar as loving you like a friend, but I think that’s the wrong approach. Making that distinction makes it seem like his love would be less intense, like he wouldn’t still give you everything he has. Try.. a scale, 1 through 10, maybe. For you, you’re looking to give Scar your 10 on the scale, right? A 9 or 10, whatever it is, that’s the kind of love you want to give, the kind of love you’re looking to receive. In Scar’s brain, he’s been giving you that 10 for months, and if you asked to spend the rest of your life with him, he’d probably go ahead and accept without hesitation. That’s just how he feels about the people he’s close with.”

Grian didn’t speak, still working out how to process those words, but Cleo did not mind continuing in his absence. “If you’re worried about not being #1, then I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle, friend. With anyone. You’re contending with mothers, brothers, sisters, friends that go back to high school, grade school, diapers. Being intimate doesn’t outweigh those bonds, not for most people. And this isn’t to say that a relationship with Scar would be exactly the same as it would be with anyone else, it won’t, and if you’re the type of guy that gets insecure when your partner is physically friendly with other people, then forget it, but in my truest of hearts, if you’re looking for someone to love, I believe Scar would be more than good for you. He would treat you well,” Cleo paused, thoughtful before continuing, “And honestly, things literally can not get any messier between you two. There are zero stakes to giving this a shot. You’ll either feel a lot better about yourselves or you’ll go your separate ways, both of which are a huge improvement to whatever the fuck is happening between you two now. Maybe you’ll even stay friends after talking all this shit out. Who knows.”

Grian returned his axe to the stump, needing to sit down. To think. He was quiet for a long time just sitting there, the only sound being the bustle of other customers and Cleo’s own axe hitting its mark time and time again.

“You really think he’d want to give it a shot?”

Cleo shrugged and shook her head noncommittally, “Who knows. But it wouldn’t surprise me. So long as you two actually talk this all out, I think anything could happen. And Christ, if you two decide to get together and still want to ‘fall down the stairs’ then have nasty sex afterward, that’s your prerogative, but for crissakes, at least wear some sort of padding or a helmet or something, don’t actually kill each other.”

Well. He had gotten Scar that helmet, hadn’t he.

“I’ll think about it,” Grian mumbled, eyes lidded. And he was. He was thinking quite hard about it.

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 14

Loop #427

Tango: Jimmy!?

Jimmy: Rancher!?

Pearl: Oh wow, they look adorable.

Scott: Yeah...

Pearl: ...who shit in your coffe today Scott?

Scott: What!? Uh??

Pearl: Why are you being weird about it?

Scott: Excuse you, I'm not.

Pearl: Uh huh.

Scott: I'm not... lying.

Pearl: Huh, if you're sure.

Scott: ...

Pearl: Listen Scott, I don't care if you are jealous but don't let it become a problem.

Loop #429

Scott: Pearl, Pearl I fucked up.

Pearl: What's wrong!?! What happened.

Scott: I let it become a problem.

Pearl: ... What did you do.

Scott: I ... Poured water into Decked out 3.

Pearl: YOU DID WHAT!?

Scott: I didn't mean to but I just so ... tempting.

Pearl: Do you know how much time Tango has put in on it!?!

Scott: I know!

Pearl: That was multiple loops of work

Scott: I ...know.

Pearl: ...

Scott: I'm ...sorry.

Pearl: Listen Scott, you are one of my closest friends but that was really fucked up.

Scott: I don't know why I did that... I didn't think that-

Pearl: You didn't think at all mate... Why did you come here?

Scott: ... I'm going to tell Tango.

Pearl: ... And? Why tell me?

Scott: I... don't know. I guess I wanted to know what do to. And now I do.

Loop #430

Tango: ...

Scott: ...

Tango: So?

Scott: I dropped water in Decked out 3.

Tango: ...That's it? Scar does that like 5 times a week, It's annoying but accidents happen-

Scott: It wasn't an accident.

Tango: What do you mean?

Scott: It wasn't an accident, I did it on purpose.

Tango: But why would you do that?

Scott: I... don't know. I didn't think.

Tango: ... Are you sorry?

Scott: I am.

Tango: Are you willing to help fix it?

Scott: Yes.

Tango: Then, a truce?

Scott: Truce?

Tango: I think I know why you did that, so truce, for Jimmy's sake at the very least.

Scott: Alright, truce. For Jimmy.

Loop #433

Grian hated yhs loops with a passion, he really did. Taurtis was an enabler at best most of the time and Sam... Yeah. Accidentally going sun titan mode and being mistaken as Amateratsu was new... To be fair there was much that he wanted to avoid so all things considered this was actually a pretty ok loop. Still getting worshipped always felt unconfortable...very unconfortable.

Loop #438

The Narrator: You are on a path in the woods and at the end of that path is a cabin and in the basement of that cabin is a watcher. You are here to slay it, it will be the end of the world if you don't.

Mumbo: ...

The Narrator: Hello? ...

Mumbo: I feel like this is a meta joke of some kind.

Loop #441

Tango: Let me guess, Scott?

Scott: Tango?

Tango: Is it so obvious?

Scott: Your villain name is literally fireburn.

Tango: Listen, creativity is hard ok?

Scott: So, guess fire powers?

Tango: Fireficating, yes.

Scott: Sooo, why the visit?

Tango: Jimmy is a hero in this loop.

Scott: Oh? I have to see this.

Loop #443

Scar: Ok, what if I also went insane this time.

Pearl: Uh?

Scar: I could be uh... Scarlet Scar!

Pearl: I hate the fact it's an alliteration.

Scar: Oh, it could be so fun!

Pearl: Hmm... I have an idea.

Pearl: Prepare for trouble!

Scar: And make it double!

Pearl: To protect the world from devastation.

Scar: To unite all people within our nations.

Pearl: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Scar: To extend our reaches to the stars above!

Pearl: Pearl!

Scar: Scar!

Pearl: Team Scarlet blas off at the speed of light.

Scar: Surrender now or prepare to fight.

Tilly: woof woof woof woof! (Woof, that's right!)

Loop #446

Tango: Being a gem is... Weird.

Scott: Comes with being a being of light. Pearl told me about it but it is a lot weird when actually in it.

Tango: So you are a uh...

Scott: Sapphire, guess you are a carnelian.

Tango: Yeah... overcooked too.

Scott: Ouch. Jimmy is a lapis lazuli this time around.

Tango: That's the water one, right?

Scott: Yeah. I can being you to him. You could say sapphires are good runners.

Tango: Jimmy is so bored lately, I don't get it.

Scott: It's part of the loops, happens to me to. Sometimes we feel a little numb.

Tango: We should do something interesting but I don't know what.

Scott: Actually I have an idea.

Scott: Jimmy!

Jimmy: Scott, Tango, what's going on?

Tango: We have someone we would like you to meet!

Jimmy: Oh uh...sure...?

Scott was actually pretty light Tango had to admit, it only took a twirl and and a dip and they were both engulfed by light.

Jimmy: U-uh!... H-hi? Y-you look great! I mean good I mean nice.

???: Oh don't be shy, you look great good nice too.

Jimmy: A-ah!?? Uh??

The fusion didn't last that long considering the tension still present between the two but Jimmy's glowing face was worth it.

Prev Next First

[arc852]

Chocolate Square

Summary: Joel lets Grian know about Jimmy's sweet tooth by showing him and Jimmy eats his chocolate a bit too fast.

Warnings: choking

Word Count: 688

AO3 Link

Here's just a tiny fic I got in my head that I wanted to write out. Please accept this while I'm still working on part 3 of First Meetings.

Also, I think this technically counts as halloween themed. I mean, it does feature a chocolate bar. (I will probably write an actual halloween fic though). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 “Hey Grian, wanna see something?” Joel whispered to Grian as he got close, in the process of opening up a regular Hershey's chocolate bar. Grian looked down at the bar with a raised brow before looking back up at Joel with the same look.

 “Does it involve the chocolate bar?” Grian asked. Joel grinned as he unwrapped the bar halfway and broke off one of the squares.

 “And Jimmy.” Joel smirked and before Grian could question him on it, Joel moved closer to where Jimmy was on the nightstand, messing around on Joel’s phone. “Jimmy!” Joel called to get the borrower’s attention. Jimmy looked up and behind him toward Joel as the human hovered over him. Joel grinned and held out the square of chocolate toward Jimmy. “Want some chocolate?”

 Jimmy’s eyes went wide and he was quick to take the chocolate from Joel’s fingers. Even though it was just a square, it was still about the size of Jimmy’s torso. Still, that didn’t stop Jimmy from tearing into it happily.

 Grian came over and looked at Jimmy with wide eyes. “Wow, he’s really going at it.”

 Joel crossed his arms and chuckled. “Yep. He did the same thing when he tried chocolate cake at my place for the first time.” He turned his head to look at Grian. “I’ve never seen him eat so much. If I hadn’t stopped him, he might’ve actually eaten the whole thing.”

 As Joel laughed at that, Grian rolled his eyes. “I doubt that would’ve happened.” Grian said, but still, Jimmy looked as though, at the very least, he would be finishing the square of chocolate. Which was a lot for the borrower. Maybe even too much. He was also eating it way too fast for Grian’s liking. Grian was actually starting to get a bit worried. “Jimmy, slow down, you’re going to choke.”

 Jimmy rolled his eyes as he took another bite out of the chocolate. “I’m not going to cho-” His sentence was cut off as he started coughing, and essentially, choking. Both human’s eyes went wide and Grian slapped Joel’s arm repeatedly.

 “Water! He needs water!” Grian exclaimed and Joel ran over to their mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and the cap that Jimmy drank out of. He quickly poured some in, being less than careful in his hurry and spilling a bit of water in the process, before running back over to Jimmy and setting it down in front of him.

 Jimmy put the chocolate down and eagerly gulped at the water. It thankfully cleared his throat and he sighed in relief, as did the humans when they saw he was okay.

 Grian sent Jimmy a look. “I told you to slow down!”

 “I didn’t think I would actually start choking!” Jimmy exclaimed and Grian let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. As he looked back up, he noticed Jimmy once again reaching for the chocolate. Grian’s eyes widened and he grabbed the chocolate before Jimmy could.

 “Hey!” Jimmy exclaimed but quieted down at Grian’s look.

 “I think you’ve had more than enough chocolate for today.” Grian said and then popped the remains of the chocolate square into his mouth before going back over to his desk to continue his studying.

 Jimmy was pouting but it soon cleared as Joel’s hand reached down again, holding another chocolate square. Jimmy grinned and grabbed it, looking up at Joel thankfully as Joel winked at him. “He’ll never know.” He whispered.

 “Joel!” Grian exclaimed, appearing behind Joel as if he had teleported over there. Joel yelped in surprise and turned around as Grian took the chocolate bar from Joel’s hand. “No more chocolate for you either!”

 “But Grian!” Joel whined and followed after Grian back to his desk to pester him to give him his chocolate bar back.

 Fortunately for Jimmy, Grian hadn’t taken away his second chocolate square and Jimmy munched on it happily, making sure he was eating slower than before as he turned back to use Joel’s phone some more. As the bickering continued on behind him, he couldn’t help but smile.

[firequeenofficial]

I miss the Ranchers. That is all I have to say.

-

When they finally managed to put out the mansion, Jimmy slipped away from the others, finding a quiet spot to hide away. He just needed a moment to breathe. He'd been struggling ever since he'd first seen Tango with Etho, Skizz and Impulse.

He'd never felt anything like this before, like a part of him was missing, broken off, stolen. He saw Tango laughing with his friends, and his heart ached. He had once made Tango laugh like that. He had once been the person Tango relied on. Now, he watched his soulmate, his Rancher, with the others, and it was like he didn't even care, or didn't remember. He hadn't even reacted when Jimmy had called him, "Rancher".

He wondered whether Joel felt the same way watching Etho. He didn't think so - Joel had barely stopped laughing since he'd found him, except to rage about the mansion being set on fire, of course. Besides, Joel wouldn't even remember Double Life.

He sat at the top of a hill in the south-east corner of the world, watching the sun rise beyond the border. He was grateful everyone seemed to want to base close together this season; it left plenty of free space to hide away.

He hated this. He hated being one of only three people who ever remembered each season. He hated Grian for forcing this on him. He hated the Watchers for forcing it on Grian. More than anything, he hated himself for not being able to do anything but whine about it. Grian was his brother, he should have been able to help him, but there was nothing he could do.

He wondered if Pearl felt anything, watching Scott with Martyn. Was there any part of her that missed him, even though they'd done nothing but fight the whole time they were soulbound? She couldn't remember Last Life, he knew, but did some part of her long for it anyhow? He wished he could speak with her about it, but she would probably just call him silly. No one else pined after their alliances from previous seasons, after all. It was just him that was so pathetic that he longed for the first person to be genuinely gentle with him.

That didn't make it any easier, after all. It didn't make him long any less. It didn't make Tango suddenly mean nothing to him.

He missed him.

That was the plain and simple truth of it. He missed Tango. Void, he missed him so damn much it hurt.

He sighed and dropped his face into his hands, fighting back tears. He was completely alone, but he still couldn't bring himself to feel it all, not so strongly, not all the way.

He just had to move on. It was that easy. He just had to let the Bad Boys be his new people, and he had to let Team TIES be Tango's new people, and he had to leave it at that.

He could do that.

Jimmy took a deep breath and leaned back slightly, turning his attention back to the brightening horizon. A breeze ruffled his hair.

The pain lessened, just slightly.

"Jimmy?"

The pain came back full force, and he froze.

No. No, he couldn't be here. Not now, not when he'd committed to letting him go.

Jimmy didn't turn. He didn't say anything.

After a moment's hesitation, Tango sat down beside him. Jimmy didn't move. He didn't look at him.

"Wow, what a view." Tango's heart clearly wasn't in the observation, though.

Silence was Jimmy's only response.

Tango apparently decided that beating about the bush was overrated. "Are you upset with me?"

Jimmy closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at him. "No." That was true, at least. He was upset about Tango, not with him.

The blazeborn let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. I would hate for you to be mad at me. I don't know how I'd do this without my Rancher."

Jimmy was so surprised that he snapped his eyes open and his head around to face him. "What?"

He was met with a smirk that he'd learnt to adore. "What, you didn't think I'd forgotten, had you?"

He remembered. He remembered! Jimmy could have cried with joy! Tango remembered him!

But Jimmy didn't cry. Instead, he let out a loud, jubilant laugh and launched himself at his Rancher, throwing his arms around Tango's neck. The pair fell to the ground, both laughing, clinging to each other. Jimmy buried his face in Tango's neck, holding on like Tango might disappear the moment he let go.

"You really did think I forgot, didn't you," Tango realised, and held him closer.

"I thought I lost you." Jimmy's voice was muffled by Tango's shirt collar.

Tango huffed a small laugh, running his hands through Jimmy's hair. "We're in this together, buddy. Even if we're on different teams, you'll always be my Rancher."

This was what Jimmy had been missing. Two whole seasons, he'd searched for this. For something who cared for him no matter what, in thick or thin, even across lifetimes. Tango was... exactly what he needed. Exactly what he wanted.

Jimmy sighed, his breath shaky. He was going to be okay.

Whatever happened this season, he was going to be okay. He could face whatever with his Rancher by his side.

They were going to be okay.

[huskynotwolf]

Convexian Hitman AU

Part 1 I guess

AU by @tibbycaps/ @tibby-art

Written by @thecrazyhusky

(I mixed in dsmp, it’s more fun with those swearing idiots :D )

Mission: Find and destroy target’s weapon supply (target’s name is Tubbo and Jack Manifold)

Cub’s PoV

“I want you to destroy his weapons.” Doc looked at us, dead serious.

We (me and Scar) were in the NHO’s conference room, listening to Bdubs rant about this new case we had to deal with. Scar had already yawned at least two times and I had grabbed every single one of their cans of carbonated drinks or whatever at the table and shook them so hard they looked like ticking bombs. Etho was also eyeing us with much suspicion, and I suspected he was up to something.

“All of them?” I asked.

“All of them.” The goat-creeper confirmed. “He was some sort of former president of a country. He’s got some ass-load of explosives. Specifically, bombs. Lots of those.”

“Ah.” Scar smiled. “Big boom.”

“Really?” I looked at him.

“And here are the conditions, since you three are definitely gonna loophole out of this.” Doc growled.

“You have to get this done by this week, which is three days. No eating anyone, and I mean anyone. You find those explosives, disable them, then leave. Nothing else. I don’t want those Snowchester people come fighting with nukes.”

I raised an eyebrow. “They got nukes?”

Scar sniggered. I kicked him.

Doc glared at my fellow Vex. “And bring Grian. He’ll be of use.”

“Grian? You sure?” I asked.

“Yes.” Doc grunted. “And you better get the job done. Go. Now.” He said.

I nodded, grabbed Scar’s wrist and dragged him out of the conference room, heading down to Grian’s “office”, while hearing Bdubs and Beef screech loudly along to the sounds of soda exploding. I allowed myself a slight smile.

“Dang it. Should’ve rigged ‘em better.” I said.

Scar gave me a look. “Don’t tell me you shook all of them.”

“I did. But I could’ve just fitted them with grenades instead.” I replied, taking a left turn down the hallway.

We found her studying a file about Tubbo.

“Hey.” She greeted us, not looking up.

“Hiya. You ready?” I asked.

Since Grian has her Watcher powers, she could technically see us coming, so I assumed she was already prepared.

“Let’s just go. Tango yelled at me earlier. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” She stood up, then walked towards us.

“Tango? Why?” Scar asked.

“None of your concern.” She shrugged.

We headed out the door, taking the lift down, then exiting the building. As soon as we stepped out, Grian winced.

“You okay?” I asked her.

“Y-yeah,” she replied. “It’s just…overwhelming.”

“Hmm.” I shot a glance at Scar. “Scar, you got the map? Coords, at least?”

“Ask the all-seeing.” He pointed at Grian. Grian made a low growling sound.

“Wow, I though you prepped.” She muttered under her breath.

“Yes, I have the map. It’s in my head.” She raised her voice.

“Great!” Scar smiled. “Let’s go, then.”

I leaned closer to Grian. “You okay, dude?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s…” she exhaled. “Alright.”

“Good.” I said, then secretly kicked Scar. The man glared at me but I didn’t reply.

“Let’s go.”

***

“We gonna take a subway. Then a cross-country train. Then another high-speed railroad.” I said, laying down a drawn map.

“Snowchester’s all the way out there, so we probably need to either stop to eat on the way, or we have to bring food.” I rolled up the map and shoved it in my pack.

Scar rolled his eyes. “You’re concerned about eating?”

“Grian needs to eat as well.” I hissed.

I had shoved the three of us into a Seven Eleven’s, where my reason was, “we need substance.”

Grian nudged Scar. “Here’s the thing, bud. We don’t have money. How-“

I waved a five dollar bill I snatched from someone. “Steal.”

“Did you get his whole wallet?” Scar asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.

I gave a low chuckle. “Duh I did.” I held out the stolen wallet. Scar sniggered. “This guy’s got a hundred and fifty.”

Grian gave us a look of annoyance and frustration. “You know it’s illegal to steal, right?”

Scar materialised behind her, making her jump. “Nah. It’s fine.”

Grian narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t snap back a comment.

I handed Scar about thirty dollars worth of bills. “Grian, you can go with Scar to buy food.” She shot me a dirty look, got up and disappeared behind the aisles with the Vex.

I took out twenty and nabbed a sandwich and two bottles of water, in which to avoid getting yelled at by Grian, I payed for it instead of stealing it.

Though I will admit I stole a can of Sprite.

Yeah. Maybe.

Grian bought coffee and milk tea (where did she find that?) and Scar bought a bun and bottled Cola, though I could tell he didn’t intend to drink it, he’s just gonna prank me with it.

As we left that store, I searched for enough money to get us to the subway station. Six dollars to get in, then they needed eighteen. I decided not to give them the coins and bills yet, as Scar had a tendency to lose things.

Very, very often.

We headed to the subway station, while Grian kept cautiously looking around for signs of danger. However, despite this, Scar seemed extremely carefree.

“G, man, there’s nothing to worry ‘bout. It’s not like someone would just suddenly drop down and try and kill us, right?” He said to no one in particular.

“Don’t jinx it.” She huffed. “I see something. Though I can’t pinpoint where it is.”

I approached the subway tunnel, with the two nitwits trailing behind. “Yeah, something’s definitely wrong. I can feel it.”

I stepped down the stair, then halted when something whizzed past me and embedded itself into the wall with a thunk.

“Honestly, Foolish, how bad can your aim be!” I heard a yell. The three of us swivelled our heads towards the noise, and standing on the side of the street, armed with crossbows, were two deranged-looking people. At least that’s what the first word that came to my head when I saw them.

The one who shot the projectile, Foolish, looked suspiciously like a totem of undying, and it made me question whenever he’s an actual totem or not. His friend was a girl who wore dark sunglasses and had long streaks of hair running down both sides of her head. What she wore screamed pirate in every way.

Grian sighed. “Scar, you jinxed it.”

Scar glared at her. “No I didn’t!”

I slapped Scar before he could argue any further and hissed, “don’t make the situation worse, dumbass!” and marched towards the pair with crossbows. Scar gave me an offended look but I knew he was playing around for fun.

“What do you want?” I demanded.

Foolish looked at me. “You don’t have the authority to order me around.” He said.

“You just tried to kill me. Are you hitmen?” I snapped.

His friend glared at me. “You were trying to destroy our military.”

Grian and Scar came up from behind. “What do you know about that?” Grian challenged.

“I know for a fact that you were sent to destroy our nukes. We’re from Snowchester, mind you.” The girl growled.

Grian suddenly looked like he was lost in thought. Scar stared at her, then shook her to try snap her out of her trance, but did nothing except from earning a well-deserved smack in the face by her.

“Well, we don’t really care about who sent you. This is about our country’s safety. You back off, or we’ll make you.” Sunglasses Girl said, raising her crossbow.

I processed her words, then turned to Scar. “Wait, if we die, is our contract technically broken?”

He paused. “Wait…you know what? You’re right! We can just let ‘em kill us!”

“But do we like, reincarnate or something? What do you think we’d be-“

Sunglasses Girl facepalmed. “No-that’s not what I meant! I don’t want anyone dead!”

Foolish nudged her. “Whatever, Puffy. They’re not part of our nation.”

Grian shook her head. “You have your own problems. Deal with whoever the fuck Dream is first, then come back and kill us. Besides, Tubbo is a literal threat to society.” She said. “You shouldn’t be listening to that menace.”

Puffy, aka Sunglasses Girl, looked promptly taken aback by Grian’s comment. “How do you know about Dream?”

“Can we take this conversation somewhere else? We’re attracting quite a lot of unwanted attention.” Grian interrupted. “One dude who passed by thought you were a terrorist.”

Foolish and Puffy took a while to discuss, and as soon as they took their eyes off the us and Grian, I took out the stolen can of Sprite, shook it hard, opened it (but barely) then yeeted it at Foolish. It landed on the ground and the entire can burst like a grenade, spewing soda everywhere.

We bolted for it, making a beeline for the subway station, with Scar mainly being dragged all the way. By the time the pair from Snowchester realised what’s happening, we were already down the subway and had managed to get into the train already.

“Ok, that was…awkward.” Grian panted, slightly out of breath.

I grunted. “Whatever. You shouldn’t have told them about your powers.”

She shook her head. “I…sorry.” She muttered.

“Eh. We could go back and kill them both.” I shrugged.

Scar nodded. “Actually, yeah. I would love to do that.”

Grian paled. “No you don’t!” She cried. “Why must you always kill people left and right?”

Both of us Vexes turned their piercing gaze at her. She immediately shut up and sank into the seat.

“Can I kill Tubbo?” Scar asked.

“No,” Grian and I said almost simultaneously. I gave her a look but she said nothing.

“Aww.” He huffed. “I’m bored.”

“You won’t be when we reach the border.” Grian said.

“What?” I asked. “Are you talking about…the border between the city and Greater Dream SMP or whatever that place is called?”

She nodded. “You know we don’t have our IDs or passports. It’s gonna be a wild chase with the border guards there.”

“Ooo, what do they do?” Scat asked.

Grian groaned. “They would chase you down on horses and they never stop. Literally, they could hunt you continuously for days without stopping.”

“Sounds fun,” Scar said.

Grian bit her lip to prevent herself from snapping back at him.

I looked at her. “Listen, if you know about the border guards, do you think we can get past them?”

She nodded. “You can get past them, but it’s gonna be hard.”

I gave both of them a wide smile. “Alright. We have two hitmen on our trail, we don’t have IDs of any sort and we’re about to be chased down by a few border guards. What’s the worse that could happen?”

To be continued

(I did it on another platform and then tried to paste it on Tumblr but ended up with so much lag I can’t even type properly lol)

[uousoupki]

life series joel species hc rant

third life (ogre hybrid) - im not a fan of wolf joel i see it more as the “on all levels except physical i am a wolf” vine like he stands in front of a mirror and sees a wolf but he just isn’t.

last life (fairy) - wanted to match jizzie as fairies with certain insect characteristics (butterfly joel & moth lizzie), also with the whole magical mountain wizards thing i feel like a fairy wizard fits so

double life (ogre hybrid) - no idea species wise so just going with ogre bc my main idea for joel/etho is that they have a more pirate vibe considering their base was literally a ship like

limited life (marbled cat hybrid) - icl i looked up marbled cat & saw a angry looking cat and went wow that’s so bad boy joel smallishbeans, also i like the idea of the bad boys being a one cat, two birds type trio so

secret life (tiger hybrid) - i really like tigers and i really like secret life joel so. also tigers like pretty much all cats are solitary & while joel was a mounder he still felt a bit more independent from the other mounders like he had his own base. also he’s matching with lizzie as a feline (lizzie as a panther that’s pink)

wild life (bengal cat - not a hybrid here bc i hc wild life as a more animal crossing type thing) - okay so bengal cats are loyal and joels whole thing this series was family & loyalty also they kind of look like tigers. also matching him as a feline (again) with lizzie (lizzie as a mountain lion bc she’s on a mountain) & this is also based on the first episode where joel called scott a crazy cat & hissed at grian

[munchkin1156]

Mycelium Menace PT 2

Soon, I said? Well I lied. Sorry about that. Thanks for being so patient!

pt one, pt two (you are here!!)

In which the borrowers Grian and Scar both start preparing, and Mumbo suffers the consequences…

Word Count: 1254

Enjoy!

. . .

Grian wondered how the hermits could possibly manage doing things like this so often. The excruciating amount of time and detail needed to execute all these pranks and meetings was simply ridiculous. He could hardly cope with it on top of his usual borrowing routine, and Borrowers needed less sleep than humans!

It did, of course, probably have something to do with the fact that they had a bit of a height advantage. Which was decidedly unfair, but there wasn’t much he could do about this fact.

Every bone in his body was exhausted. Grian considered not getting up at all today, until the spores covered and consumed him completely. It was a tempting offer. Then again, Scar would be annoyed at him if he didn’t finish off what he’d started. With a groan, he rolled out of the comfort of his warm, cozy nest of clothing and blankets, onto the cold, miserable floor inside the walls.

Without opening his eyes, he grabbed uselessly at the ground in front of him, until his hands brushed the edge of his mushroom themed hat, which he half heartedly tried to manoeuvre onto his head.

“Wow,” Somebody commented from behind him. “Are you okay?” They didn’t sound like Scar, and it would be weird if Scar had been watching him sleep, so who was it? They sounded like…

“Timmy?” He croaked, turning to look at his cousin, who was in fact, here, for some reason. “Wh- why are you?” Grian sat up straight, adjusting his hat like it would fix his pride. “Why?”

Jimmy shrugged. “What, can’t a man visit you without needing a reason?” Grian regarded him skeptically. “Suuuure.” He didn’t comment or even move as Jimmy began poking around, examining the mess. “I see the spores I gave you weren’t wasted!” He noted, pleased. 

Grian rolled his eyes. “You can say that again. I’m in a prank war over it with Scar and a few of the humans.” As expected, Jimmy didn’t even bat an eye at the fact humans were involved, instead perking up at the prospect. “A war? That would explain why it’s everywhere. And why you look…” He waved a hand. “Like that.”

“Thanks.” He muttered. “Very tastefully said. But, while you’re here, Tim, there’s actually something I could use you for, if you’re interested…”

“Oh? And what’s that?” Jimmy asked, a grin spreading across his face as he reluctantly helped Grian stand up. “Any shenanigans you need help pulling? Any of those hermits you need to annoy?” Grian hummed, looking thoughtful.

He strode over to a chest that was almost completely covered in random junk, rummaging in it, before he pulled out something with a flourish. “Tada!”

Slowly, Jimmy’s face lit up with recognition. “You did not!” He exclaimed, sounding both horrified and delighted. “On the contrary,” Grian said smugly. “I absolutely did.”

. . .

All was quiet in the apartment building, a very rare occurrence considering the people living there. Since it was such an uncommon thing to happen, Scar was going to make the most of it. After all, he needed extra materials in order to layout the plans of his first grand scheme. And also food.

While Cub’s abode was usually a no-go, considering all the dangerous science experiments he did and his erratic sleep schedule, the Borrower knew he was at some sort of mad scientist conference, and that he wouldn’t be back for a few days.

There were so many wonderful things he could borrow! Scar knew Cub wouldn’t notice if a few minor things went missing, and he’d be putting them to good use! His plans would be executed perfectly, as long as he had the material to do so.

Checking left and right for any mushrooms Grian could’ve planted, Scar considered the coast clear. He still inched his way over the countertop, because there was always a chance of an ambush or prank. Better to be safe than sorry, or whatever other nonsense humans said.

Picking up any bits or bobs  that seemed remotely useful, he left the routine of collecting just enough settle in as he worked. To be honest with you, he probably should notice the note addressed ‘To the Mayor’ sooner, but Scar wasn’t known for his incredible observational skill. He did notice it once he was standing on top of it, though! Hurriedly, he read through what had been written.

To the Mayor, sir Scar Goodtimes

Dear sir,

I hope this letter finds you well. It has come to my attention that there are some folk resisting your peaceful and prosperous reign as Mayor, who need to be dealt with. These people, as I’m sure you’re aware, call themselves the Mycelium Resistance, and are spreading spires throughout the environment of the Hermits. Since you are a ghost, I feel it’s my duty to inform you that, while the mushrooms are not poisonous, they are a pain in the neck.

I have organised, between myself and the other members of HEP that a meeting will commence in a week’s time, at the HEP HQ. Though, it would be wonderful if our Mayor could be there to guide us. If you cannot be there in person or voice, I humbly request that maybe you could write out what goals and plans you have, so that I could convey your message to the rest of the members?

Wishing you all the best, Cub Fan 135

Well, who was Scar to refuse his suggestions when he asked so nicely? He mentally added sticky notes to his borrowing list, and kept walking.

. . .

Mumbo knew it wasn’t healthy to be working so late into the night. The only light was from the small lamp on his desk, lighting up his worksheet, leaving the rest of the room shrouded in darkness. His moustache was drooping, and he knew he should’ve been in bed hours ago.

…But he had been this close to being done with the blueprint. Besides, one sleepless night couldn’t make that much of a difference. Right?

That’s what he’d thought about two hours ago. His opinion hadn’t changed, no, of course not, there was absolutely no reason for that! Though he was prepared to bet most people didn’t get bothered by spirits while they worked.

Looking back on it the next day, it was infuriating, really, how the one time either of the ghosts had spoken out loud ever, it was to him, while he was half asleep and brain dead.

”Why hello there, Mumbo Jumbo.”

He looked for the source of the voice, and was sleepily confused when he saw no one. “Hello?” He called, nervously. “Who’s there?” And was met with laughter in response. Rude.

”I believe you know me as Grian.”

Grian, Grian, Grian… Did he know a Grian. The name rang a bell somewhere in the back of his mind, and his head would hurt if he thought about it for longer, knowing there was something missing. Since he did not know what that could be, he accepted it without hesitation. “Grian my friend! How’re you?”

”I- uh, fine, I guess? Um, so listen. H-how would you like to be mayor?”

Now, Mumbo wished he’d been more awake at that moment. He wished he’d said ‘let me think about it’, or ‘no thanks, I’m good’. He wished he’d remembered about the war going on, or who the current mayor was, so he could use those as excuses not to get involved. Sadly, he hadn’t said any of these things.

“Sure, why not?”

. . .

Aaaaaand that’s a wrap! Again, super sorry that it took so long, I tried writing a different beginning five different times, and then gave up and wrote the whole thing last week. :D I’ll hopefully get the next one out sooner, though you’ll have to see!

you can also find this fic on ao3, link to my account on my masterpost, I’ll update it there as well in a bit….

People who wanted to be tagged for this fic particularly: @mushr00mgurl, @satethesatelite

People on my taglist: @i-am-beckyu, @brick-a-doodle-do, @da3dm, @faeiyn-cant-write, @boiled-ginger-ale, @local-squishmallow, @akatthatwants2sleep

(if you want to be added to either of these, or something else, like just art, just writing, just this specific fic, etc, lmk!)

[violet-ophelia-boss]

This is for the: "hermit secret Santa"! gift for: @renp0d

(sorry for the mistakes in this fic)

On the hermitcraft server, there was a calm sound of the cold winter wind and the various machines they had made. Mumbo woke up and looked at his window: the snow was everywhere, not in a bad way of course, and so he knew Christmas was getting closer and closer. He checked his mail: various lawsuits as usual, tax fraud, neck kisses from his neighbors… and a letter with attached a big box. It was from Ren. It said: “Hello, my fellow friend! I heard you needed these redstone materials for one of your shops and some future projects. So here ya go mate! Hope you choose them wisely. When you use them, think of me also :]. -Ren the diggity dog”.

When mumbo opened happily the box, he saw 2 stacks of redstone dust, 30 redstone blocks, 10 redstone comparators and a stack of redstone torches. The guy was shocked. How did he make so many? Did he farm them or do them by hand? Mumbo then happily took the materials and secured them in a chest, then going straight to grian’s base. “GRIAN, GRIAN, GUESS WHAT?” shouts happily while shaking the other, which was reading a book while sitting on his chair. “I know mumbo, I know. You got redstone stuff from Ren. You messaged me 2 seconds ago about it. He gave me some materials so I can ‘finish the back of my building’ as well" says grian, tired. His friend giggled a bit, making him laugh it off the situation. “We should give him a gift, just like he did with us, I think” says mumbo to the other, who was closing his book and position it on the table. Then he put his hands on the other’s shoulders, looking at him in the eyes and asked “are you freaking saying that we should give him a Christmas present?”. “Yeah, why shouldn’t we after all?” responded mumbo, fixing his mustache. “Fine. But we both don’t have anything good that we could give him.” Accepted grian, looking around his chests. “Guess we have to search” says mumbo, already preparing his elytra and fireworks in hand. Then they both started flying, going where no one built something or took materials from. !Then they both landed, they immediately started brainstorming something good to give him, something rare, that he would be excited for.

“xp bottles?”, “that’s lame as fu-”. “An Elytra?”, “He has at least six of them mumbo!”. “An orange sheep?”, “He can literally steal one from Xisuma…”. “Diamonds?”, “mumbo, it’s like we’re giving him money to buy stuff. He needs something better!”. After a lot of arguing later, they both found something he’d like: custom discs, some which he can personalize and normal discs, which he can enjoy. Now there’s a problem: how can they have these disks, especially the custom ones? “A skeleton and creeper farm” says mumbo. “You sure?” asks grian. “Yes, now let’s get to work!”. They did a structure made out of many layers if stone and a lot of hope the creepers won’t blow up in their face, with a stone roof so they can break the spawner and take the discs without being hurt too much. After a lot of hope and time, the plan got just as planned. They took the disks, which were 12, with 4 that were a copy of another. They will be the ones who are going to be blank. “Mumbo, you know how to do that right… RIGHT?”. Mumbo was shaking, thinking what they should do. Eventually, Xisuma helped them, without asking why the heck they need that feature. So, after nearly blowing up a disc, many and many deaths by mumbo and moments of insanity later, they did it. They re- named the 4 discs, and put all of them into a shulker box, waiting for Ren to wake up.

Eventually, on the 22nd of that snowy December, he woke up. Then he saw grian and mumbo at his doorstep, saying “happy Christmas, Ren!”. “Aww thank you guys, you didn’t’ have to…” says Ren, blushing for the embarassment.” Wow! Music discs! With customed ones. Thanks guys! You could’ve just gave me flowers, but thanks!” says Ren, hugging the other two. Afterwards, grian and mumbo got to Big Ron’s shop and started contemplating the wall, cursing their idea of giving Ren something that good, still thinking about what he said.

Hope you enjoyed the fic :D

[the-flower-ranchers]

It's finally time for a Beach Vacation Arc!!!!!

Jimmy felt his wings shake with anticipation as he and his partners exited the rift into the Limited Life server. The open air washed over them, shaking up the canary's feathers, flickering through Tango's flames, and ruffling Scott's dress. Just as he'd told 💜, he wore an elegant silver-sky blue sundress that came down to his knees.

"So we left the cattle in the pasture with the dogs to look after them, the chickens have enough feed and water to survive the till monday, I turned off all the redstone before we left... Oh! Did anyone let the Anons know we weren't gonna be home?"

"Of course, Jimmy. I left a note on the front door, the door to the Ranch, the barn door, the kitchen counter, the living room TV, the-"

"I get it, I get it- Thanks Scott." He took his boyfriend's hand as they walked.

Tango smiled, gazing around at the server. "I'm gonna run ahead and see if I can spot anyone!" Without waiting for an answer, the blazeborn took off in a bounding sprint. Just as Jimmy and Scott caught up to him by the clock tower, Jimmy spotted the familiar frame of one of its former residents just a couple hundred blocks away. He dropped the bags he was carrying and clumsily flew after them. He exclaimed in delight as he slammed his entire body into Scar's muscular back. "BAM!"

"Oh my goodness!" Scar said quickly in his fright. "Man, you scared the living daylights out of me!"

Grian turned around, wincing as the startled cat on his shoulders dug her claws through his red sweater. "Yippee, Tim's here!" The three of them exchanged greetings for a moment as Jimmy's partners finally caught up to him.

"Sup G!" Tango fist-bumped the avian and immediately started petting Jellie. The five of them arrived at the small pocket beach just as the sun hit its peak in the sky.

Scott immediately began gushing about how much he loved the colors of the green grass against the crystal blue water, and how the rainbow tips of coral were like sprinkles. Joel must have arrived long before any of them, as he was already setting up a bed in the pavilion. Scott teasingly waved to him, and the man instantly rolled his eyes. "Heyyyyy Joeellll." Scott called. "Love the fake abs, did you borrow them from your hermitcraft skin?"

"These ones are real, you prick. Unlike your lashes!"

Scott gasped mockingly, but giggled to himself quickley after.

As Grian flew overhead and dropped off his and Scar's bags, Joel chuckled gleefully. "Oi! I thought you were a seagull for a moment there!"

"Haha." Grian landed next to him without warning, making the man flinch unexpectedly.

"Where's Lizzie? I-" Tango asked, coming up the the water line as he shouted for Joel's answer. He is was interrupted as Scar raced past him, flinging himself into to the water.

"Cannonball!!!!!"

Jimmy put his wing over Tango for a moment as some water splashed out of the river. "Maybe we should set up an umbrella for you, just in case." He jokingly suggested.

Joel called back to Tango. "Oh, Lizzie? You'll see her in a minute!"

Scar still hadn’t resurfaced, causing Grian to lean over the fencing of the pavilion as his eyes darted across the surface of the still water. "If I have to jump in after that fool- Scar!"

At that moment, the head of his partner popped out of the water. "W- woah woah woAH-" Scar's entire body was lifted out of the water by a giant blue hand. The three hermitcrafters were stunned as Lizzie, wearing her empires skin, surfaced.

Jimmy struggled to fly up and greet her while she held the very confused man."MY BAMBOOZLERS-"

"BAM!" She interrupted as she playfully knocked him out of the air. The canary and the vex-hybrid plunged into the water as she laughed somewhat maniacally.

"Wow, you are massive." Tango shook his head clear. "Is this an Empires thing?"

"Yup, I'm the Ocean Queen." She tried and failed to sassily flip her drenched hair. Joel called from the island, "You look amazing, babe!" He then turned to Grian and whispered something to him eagerly.

Jimmy crawled out of the water with his wings dragging heavy behind him, laughing and yelling with his Wild Life allies. Grian grabbed Joel's arm and carried him down to the beach. "Tim! Shake off and get over here, we got something for you!" Grian stood back as the canary shook buckets of water off his feathers.

"What's up?"

"Close your eyes." Joel said, taking something out of his inventory. Jimmy hesitantly obliged, and once he did Joel slid something onto the canary's face. "We figured it was gonna be fairly sunny while we're out here soooo-"

When he opened his eyes, all three of them were wearing mathcing black sunglasses. At first, Jimmy flinched, but he quickly lunged forward and scooped the other two into a giant hug.

"Ayyyyyy!!!! The bad boys are BACK!"

(Ooc: ASKS ARE BACK OPEN 🥳 I kid you not y'all, I was in physical pain going without posting on this blog for so long. We are in our beach episode arc, and I am so excited!)

[watarfallar]

*staring off into the distance remembering how 3rd Life ended* Oh, you're here too. Huh? Incorrect quotes? Oh yeah, here, have these. *continues to stare off into the distance*

Scar: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons? Grian: Fake?

Grian: You can’t have a gun on stage! Scar: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.

Scar: "29-34 Give a particular ecosystem and explain how could it be protected." Scar: Help. Grian: Forests, stop cutting down trees and don't hold gender reveal parties anywhere near them.

Scar: I intend to stay pissed at you forever. Scar: Even if I seem helpful. Grian: Then you're in luck. Grian: Because you don't.

Grian: Scar is forbidden from monologuing.

Grian: Help! I’m drowning! Scar: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Grian: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Scar: I trusted you! Grian: Why?

Scar: Where did you get that tomato soup? Grian: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Scar: Grian, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Grian, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Grian: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Scar is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

Grian: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Scar: Grian: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Grian: You know me, Scar, I don’t take any shit. You know what I say to my haters? Scar: What? Grian: I say: “Please don’t hate me, I’m really nice.”

Grian: Do you need anything from the store? Scar: Actually, yes. I have a list. Grian, reading: Epsom salts, coconut oil, baking soda, cornstarch, lavender essential oils… citric acid…? Scar: I’m making homemade bath bombs. Grian: Smokeless gunpowder?! Scar: I want to do it right!

Grian: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon. Scar: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic. Grian: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

Scar: Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely! Grian: With NAPALM.

Grian: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Scar: I boiled gatorade.

Scar: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Grian: What? Scar: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Grian: Whatever happened to the concept of less is more? Scar: But if less is more, then just think of how much more 'more' will be!

Scar: Hey, Grian, where are you going? Grian: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell. Grian: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

Scar: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Grian and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Grian.

Scar: You’re starting to look like me more and more every day— Grian: Bursts into tears Scar: Why are you crying? Grian: You’re ugly! I don’t want to look like you! sobs

Grian and Scar enter a dive bar Grian: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink. Scar, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

Grian: I am a ninja. Scar: No, you’re not. Grian: Did you see me do that? Scar: Do what? Grian: Exactly.

Grian: I feel like everyone on this island is suspicious, Scar. Except you! Scar: But Grian, I think you're suspicious! Grian: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Scar: Cool, any other secrets? Grian: I still sleep with the blanket I had as a baby. Scar: Awww- Grian, stern: I use it as a gag when taking people’s pets hostage. Scar: Scar: There’s no punch line ‘cause it’s not a joke isn’t it?

Grian: So what are your political beliefs? Scar, awkwardly trying to impress them: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

Grian: I try to avoid pointless group activities. You know like school Christmas Parties or Jury Duty. To me, the most awful sound in the universe is that mangled first note of your peers singing happy birthday. Scar: Cool stance. Counterpoint: these are free cupcakes. Get over yourself and take one.

[t4t4tclethian]

The moment Joel realizes he has a crush on xB is, objectively, quite a funny one. He’d almost certainly be laughing about it if it had been anyone else. As it is, though, he’s hopping mad, extremely indignant, and deeply embarrassed about the whole thing. Who ever heard of a hitman falling for their mark? (Well, a lot of people have- it’s a whole romance cliche for a reason. But it wasn’t supposed to actually happen!)

(ao3 link)

————————————————

It had all started a few days earlier, when Joel had been hanging out with the other Magical Mountaineers in the breakroom. Gem and Impulse were poring over some papers together, Skizz was on a phone call in the corner, Mumbo was politely watching as Scar fumbled through some magic tricks, and Grian was sitting on the couch with Joel, listening to him rant about his failures at killing xB (he’d drawn the short straw). Everything was normal.

And then, when Joel paused his tirade to take a breath, Grian said those fatal words. “From the way you talk about this guy, Joel, it’s almost like you’ve got a crush on the mark!”

Which was ridiculous, of course! He does blummin’ not, thank you! His relationship with xB was a perfectly platonic contract killing, and Joel is a professional! He knows better than to fall for his target, and he indignantly tells Grian as much.

But, of course, Grian is Grian, and the second he senses he’s touched a nerve he doubles down. And so he did.

“Contract killing? Give me a break, Joel! Your contract on this guy expired ages ago, and you’re not the type to work for free.” Grian’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued to needle at Joel. “Admit it, there’s something else going on here, isn’t there?”

Joel spluttered, and took a deep breath as he glanced around the room. Fuck. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen in on him and Grian now. He had to say something to throw them off or he would never be able to live this conversation down.

“My contract might be done, but unlike some people I finish the things I start, thank you very much!”

Grian squawked in indignation, and as he did so the others chuckled and turned back to their own conversations, unfounded accusations of romance forgotten. Grian’s tendency to leave things unfinished was well-known, and something that every assassin at Magic Mountain had teased him over many times.

But that thought refused to leave his brain. It had wiggled its way in like a worm. Did he have a crush on xB? Is that why he kept coming back when any sane person would’ve just given it up already? And the answer, of course, is no. All of Joel’s actions here have perfectly reasonable and professional explanations.

————————————————————

Joel waits patiently on the rooftop across from Horse Head Farmer’s Market (which, despite the name, is actually a grocery store/money laundering scheme, not a farmer’s market), rifle at the ready, just as he has been for the past three and a half hours. You can’t rush a good sniping, after all, and xB’s schedule varies enough that Joel’s never quite sure when he’ll head out for lunch. (He’s pretty sure xB has done this specifically to spite Joel- the guy’s obsessed with him.)

Yes! Finally! xB steps out of the store, starts walking down the street, and- turns to look at Joel’s rooftop, makes direct eye contact with him, and gives him a friendly little wave, the infuriatingly sincere kind that makes Joel want to kill him even more. Dammit. He’s been caught. Also, wow, even from here Joel is a little wowed by how blue xB’s eyes are. Or maybe he’s just remembering how they look, because there’s no way Joel can actually see his eyes from here. They are definitely a very nice blue, though, and oh, huh, Joel realizes that Lizzie has blue eyes, too. Maybe he’s got a thing for blue-eyed people, and- OH SHIT RIGHT HE’S KILLING THIS GUY.

Joel fires, because even if he’s been discovered a vantage point is still a vantage point. Of course, xB somehow manages to not be in the bullet’s path, just like he always does, and then he gives Joel a disapproving look, like he’s actually disappointed Joel didn’t do a better job at trying to kill him.

God, he’s so cute, Joel’s brain has the audacity to think, like it’s trying to add insult to insult to injury. To Joel’s horror, he realizes in this moment that he’s had dozens, maybe even hundreds of thoughts like this, that just slipped through the cracks and went unnoticed.

Then, xB smiles at him again before heading on his way, and Joel falls off of the rooftop. He has time to think, Oh, I’m gonna kill Grian, as he plummets towards the ground. And then, everything goes dark, and he dies.

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 10

Loop #339

Grian: Skyblock huh? Well, that shouldn't be too bad. Get a cobblestone generator, wood and food and you're set.

Scar: Skyblock? I have already done this before! This is going to be Easy!

It wasn't, not even a little bit.

Scott: Skyblock, good luck killing me I can flu-

Scott proceeded to fall to his death before realizing it was a null loop.

Pearl: Skyblock! Oh this is going to be fun! I have a perfect idea. Now, to get some cobblestone.

Mumbo: Wait... Skyblock. No other islands ... No redstone? Oh pants, I can't even do builds this is horrible.

Loop #342

Grian: This is really weird you know?

Hermit Grian: You tell me, hopefully our youtuber self doesn't create another us.

Grian: I mean, there are the uh guess the builds?

Hermit Grian: Don't even joke about it.

Grian: Alright alright.

Hermit Grian: How do you do it?

Grian: Uh?

Hermit Grian: The life series. The first time I looped in Third Life I had to get black out drunk.

Grian: You had to WHAT?

Hermit Grian: It was so awful... But you're Life Series Grian, you dealt with it in baseline! How?

Grian: Well... I guess It's just was a game. In baseline the life series was a game and while it did leave an impact it wasn't like that. A lot of variants have the life series as a death game or an emotion farm for The Watchers but our baseline was just...lighthearted. Guess your first Third Life wasn't like that?

Hermit Grian: It wasn't, I think I looped into a serious deathgame loop.

Grian: Yeah... Those...those are really bad sometimes, especially when the loop starts in Third Life after Scar is already dead.

Hermit Grian: Has that happened!? I have looped in Third Life hundreds of times but that never happened before.

Grian: Two or three times. Two or three times too much if you ask me.

Hermit Grian: That...wow.

Grian: Soo... wanna have a building competition? See which Grian is best?

Hermit Grian: Oh, you're on.

Loop #346

Tommy: Grian! Wait, fuck, Hermit Grian?

Grian: Life Grian, sorry.

Tommy: Fucking damnit.

Grian: Met other Grian a few loops ago, he explained these kinds of loops a bit. You escaped from exile?

Tommy: Yeah, sometimes when I do I end up here in Hermitcraft and sometimes the hermit loopers are awake.

Grian: Well, I might not be the Life series looper but Hermitcraft is still part of my baseline, so if I can do anything just tell me.

Tommy: Hmm... well I had an idea for a prank.

Grian: I'm all ears.

Tommy: All eyes too.

Grian: Wha- oh right, Watcher loop.

Tommy: I got that part big man.

Loop #348

Another Watcher loop? That was what, 3rd loop in a row? Grian was confused but at least this was a neutral watchers variant so not too bad... But he felt something was different-

Scott: Hello!

Grian: Scott!?! What? Where are you!? How can I hear you.

Scott: Ahaha, not telling.

Grian: I can't ... What? I can't see you using the eyes!?

Scott: Nope!

Grian: How? The only being immunes in this loop are listeners and spea- wait.

Scott: You got it. It's a speaker me variant.

Grian: ... Is that a thing?

Scott: Yep, I have to say one of my favourites variants.

Grian: Why?

Scott: Listen, I like the order and lawful loops a lot, was made an order god like almost as soon as I started looping...but this? I get to have way more fun.

Grian: Uh huh.

Loop #351

Pearl: Wow, this is what? Fifth watcher loop in a row?

Grian: Sixth.

Pearl: Are they loops trying to tell you something?

Grian: I don't know? Are they??

Pearl: I have no clue mate.

Loop #352

Pearl: Another one?

Grian: Yep.

Pearl: ... What's wrong?

Grian: It's this loop's Keralis.

Pearl: Uh? What's wrong with this Keralis?

Grian: He's wrong.

Pearl: Uh?

Grian: I can sense it as a watcher, but I can't tell what he is.

Pearl: Aren't this loop's watchers really powerful?

Grian: That's the problem, I think he's around the level of the dread gods, It's offsetting.

Pearl: You are still a god, titan and watcher multiple times over. You are way more powerful then him.

Grian: ... Still. It's creepy.

Loop #360

Grian: Fast, into that elevator!

Scott: We aren't going to fit-

Grian: Fast!

Scar barreled into the elevator first, then Mumbo followed by Pearl and Scott and finally Grian. Grian pressed the first butt as fast as he could and the door closed.

Grian: We did it-

Then everything started going wrong when the elevator started shuddering for a while followed by all 1000 floors buttons glowing.

Mumbo: What?

Scar: Did we break something?

Pearl: Did Scar break something?

Scar: Hey!

Grian: No, Scar didn't break anything... I think... But I think I know what happened.

Scott: I think I know too. An elevator loop?

Grian: Yep.

Scott: Ok, fuck, at least we are getting it over with relatively early?

Pearl: What are you two talking about?

Grian: It's a loop stuck in elevator, 1000 floors to see, happens to all loopers eventually.

•Floor 6

Mumbo: I-is that space?

Pearl: Yeah mate, beautiful right?

Mumbo: Yeah! But how are being forced out by the pressure difference? Or freezing?

Grian: Loop magic probably.

Scar: Oh! Good. Don't want to get sucked by space now do we?

Grian: Scar!

Scott: AH! OH, Scar, never change.

Scar: What? What's wrong with sucking?

Scott: AHHHH You're killing me Scar!

•Floor 34

Scott: I'm noticing most of these floors are empty?

Grian: Yeah, not all floors are weird I think.

Pearl: Well, we are going to just skip this one then.

•Floor 56

Grian: Oh look, biblically accurate garden of eden.

Pearl: Do you think we can reach for the fruit of knowledge from here.

Scott: Isn't the whole point of the whole thing not to eat the fruit of knowledge.

Pearl: I hate ehen you are right.

Grian: Well, technically, God told Adam and Eve specifically not to eat the fruit. Not us.

Scott: Oh look we are going to the next floor. Too bad, we aren't getting smitten this time around. So sad.

•Floor 69

Scott: Oh? Oh! OH!

Grian: Just go to the next floor, please.

•Floor 87

Scar: Ohhhh! Look at all these pictures! I'm going to grab one or two.

Scott: They are nice, I'll take one as well.

•Floor 99

Mumbo: Ok... This is starting to be a bit boring now. How much left G?

Grian: We are still less then a tenth in.

Scott: Ugh.

Mumbo: Why? Is it so slow!?

•Floor 123

Scott: A church?

Grian: It's the winners church , saw it once in a loop. Every winner of the life series has a window.

Scott: Oh I can see mine! I look good like that~

Scar: Why is mine holding an eclipse? I tought my sign was the Earth.

Grian: It is, like 90% of the time, but sometimes it something different and Martyn is the Earth. Me, Scott and Pearl are the only ones whose symbol remains mostly the same in all loops.

•Floor 147

Old Lady: Oh dears, stuck in a magic elevator? Here, have some fruit to eat.

Mumbo: O-oh Thank you madam... H-Here, take a diamond.

Old Lady: Oh wow, that is one big diamond... I can't just take this for a bit of fruit...hmmm...here, one of my tarot decks you may have it.

Mumbo: Thank you ... It looks like we are going now, goodbye.

•Floor 148

Grian: Mumbo, you do know that carot decks has images of the life series players as major arcanas.

Mumbo: Wait what?

Grian: And you got this from a totally normal old lady?

Mumbo: She looked normal at least?

Grian: Of course she did.

•Floor 173

Mumbo: Ok, ok, pick a random card.

Grian: ... Sun. Of course.

Mumbo: Weird, that shouldn't...that's unlikely.

Pearl: Unless the cards are actually magic.

Mumbo: Ok, ok there's no way. See, I picked a devil, why would it be a devil

•Floor 192

Grian: Is that-?

Scott: -Christian hell?

Mumbo: I... I'm going to keep these cards I think.

Scar: Let's close before-

Pearl: Wait mate, I see someone in the flames.

Scott: It's Charlie Slimecicle and... Ranboo? Wait is this Genloss-

Pearl: Hey mate! Want to come alpng?

Ranboo: Who are you-

Pearl grabbed Ranboo just in time for the door to close behind him leaving behind a shocked Charlie.

Pearl: Oops.

•Floor 212

Ranboo: Timeloops? You guys are crazy!

Grian: Weren't you just in literal hell?

Ranboo: ... I...

•Floor 244

Seller: And here we have a cloak made of pure chaos.

Buyer #1: 5 diamonds!

Buyer #2: 10 diamonds.

Buyer #3: 15 diamonds?

Pearl: I'll take it for 100 diamonds.

Seller: 100 diamonds? Going once. Going twice. And we have a buyer! Here is your cloak miss.

Pearl: Here are the diamonds.

Buyer: Wow, that's the second time this has happened.

•Floor 253

Grian: Why did you buy that cloak?

Pearl: Listen, what part of red cloak of pure chaos isn't cool to you? Plus, I get to be extra scary whenever I loop as 5AM Pearl again.

Ranboo: What are you people talking about!??

•Floor 269

Grian: Hello there!

Hermit Grian: Oh, Life! Elevator loop?

Grian: ...Yeah.

Hermit Grian: I feel that, say do ping me next time we are in the same loop. I have something to tell you.

Grian: Oh yeah. Sure!

Hermit Grian: See you then!

•Floor 291

Scott: Back to christian hell we go. Ranboo?

Ranboo: W-wait, is this my stop then?

Pearl: Yeah, I think so. Say, take some potions and golden apples. They might be useful.

Ranboo: A-alright? B-bye?

Pearl: Bye!

•Floor 327

Scar: Jellie pandas!

Grian: Don't you dare let one of them in the elevator.

Scar: But-

Grian: No.

Scar: Can I at least pet it.

Grian: Sure.

•Floor 388

Grumbot: Cogito Ergo Sum, I think therefore I am-

Grian: Oh, Grumbot...

Grumbot: You!

Grian: I'm sorry this is what happened... really am.

Grumbot: YOU-

But he never got to speak as the elevator closed It's doors.

•Floor 416

Scott: Aeoulus!

Aeoulus: Scott! My favorite looper! Was being me fun!

Scott: Oh it was great until someone started being grumpy.

Aeoulus: Oh yeah, I totally understand the feeling. I got to be you once.

Scott: Oh really? You'll have to tell me about it next time!

Aeoulus: Byeee!

After that she floated away while humming her song.

•Floor 419

Grian: How do you know the wind god?

Scott: We met a few loops before I looped as her by looping as Odysseus.

Grian: Huh. Alright then.

•Floor 467

Grian: Are the doors stuck?

Scott: Well, this is weird.

Mumbo: I could uh...try and see if anything is wrong?

Pearl: I don't think this works by redstone-

Scar: Oh we are going up! I wanted to see!

Grian: Maybe It's best we don't.

•Floor 500.

Pearl: C'mon guys, we are halfway there! We can do this.

•Floor 532

Martyn: My king, is that a magic elevator ?

Ren: My prayers to the gods have worked! They sent us help to destroy the rebels!

Grian: Yeah no way

Ren: What- Wait, Grian!?! Why did the gods send you!?

Grian: Excuse you, I sent myself.

Martyn: Are you a god!?!!

Grian: I mean I guess.

And then the doors closed.

•Floor 589

Grian: Another empty corridor-

Suddenly a man runs into the elevator.

Man: Oh I'm so sorry, I'm in a bit of a hurry?

Grian: Were do you need to go?

Man: Uh. Floor uh... 603?

Pearl: Oh that will take a bit.

Man: U-uh?

Scar: Someone, not me, pressed all the floor buttons.

Man: Oh no. I'll be late!

•Floor 598

Man: Ah!?! Is that a d-dragon?

Grian: No just a really realistic picture.

Man: O-oh of course.

•Floor 603

Man: Oh finally.

And the man runs into the corridor.

Grian: That was weird.

Scott: That was like, just a regular guy.

•Floor 652

Grian: Hey Timmy!

E2 Jimmy: Grian!?! How have you done this!??

Grian: Missed me?

E2 Jimmy: How!?

Grian: No time to explain! Bye!

•Floor 666

Mumbo: This is... Just the void.

Scott: It's not, stay away from the entrance.

Pearl: What's wrong.

Scott: Just...stay away from the doors.

Grian: Yes. Don't go near the void.

Scar: What's out there?

Grian: ... What do you think?

•Floor 702

Scott was working on the perfect curse, finally he could make the other pay-

Scott: Hey Witch me!

Witchcraft Scott: Who?

Scott: Sup It's me. You. Have you forgotten something?

Witchcraft Scott: Forgotten-

Wait, this impostor was right! He couldn't believe he forgot such a basic ingredient. He would need to get more hair to do this.

Scott: Hey, I got you. Take some of this.

•Floor 742

Scar: Hey!

...

No one.

Scar: Oh c'mon.

Grian: You'll get it next time don't worry.

•Floor 783

Scar: Magic hands man! Magic hands man!

Scott: Scar you're a vex. And a demigod. And who knows what.

Scar: I know!

Scott: Then why are you scared?

Scar: Who said I was scared?

•Floor 824

Mumbo: Wait are those the backrooms?

Grian: You know about them?

Mumbo: Of course I know about them! I didn't think the loops were connected to it though.

Scott: They are...and aren't. It's complicated. There isn't really a backrooms loop but lots of fused loops with them.

Mumbo: That's...weird.

•Floor 868

Grian: I think I might fall asleep now, these last I don't know how many floors have been corridors.

Scott: Not even colorful ones. Would it kill people to use a bit of yellow, cyan or pink?

•Floor 910

Grian: Hey you Rem.

Scar: Grian what are you doing?

Grian: This is the one evil Ren I told you about!

Mumbo: The one who experimented on people?

Grian: Yeah! Well I'm going to do something insane.

Pearl: Oh?

Grian: Yeah, you! Guess what?

Scar: ...?

Grian: FUCK YOU!

Ren: Grian!?! How dare I'll get my army-

Grian: And tell them that *I* swore at you? Especially after magically appearing in the sky inside a magic elevator? Come on, call for them, I want to see. They'll never believe you.

It didn't even take that much dread god magic to make that Ren cower.

•Floor 911

Scar: You- uh what?

Grian: It's a one time thing.

Scott: That was ...holy shit.

Pearl: I didn't you could do that mate.

•Floor 934

Mumbo: Nope, nope, nope, nothing to see here.

Scar: Wait I want to see-oh Is that you... and Grian? Uh... I'll just uh. Sit back?

Mumbo: T-that's not us, that's just a variant!

....

Scott: Doesn't have to be... I didn't expect Grian to be the top-

Grian: I will feed you to my mushrooms with no regrets.

•Floor 967

...

Grian: I hate elevator music now.

Scar: Now you know how I feel in the permit office.

Grian: It truly is the worst torture.

Scar: It is!

Grian: It what makes me want to use it even more, cower in fear.

•Floor 1000

Grian: Ok, get out get out before we are accidentally called back down!

It didn't take being told fir everyone to run out.

Loop #361

Grian: We did it! We are out!

Scott: Thank all the gods and admins.

Scar: Oh earth, sweet earth.

Mumbo: You said loopers go trough this once. Only once right?

Grian: Yeah.

Mumbo: GOOD.

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[life-winners-liveblog]

Watching Double Life session 2

P3

Scar: Oh that was cute!

Pearl: It wasn't...

Scott: I mean, you sounded like an excited puppy.

Pearl: I did not mate! What are you talking about?

Martyn: That's why you like dogs so much, we figured it out.

~~~~~~

3L!Scar: I'm sorry for... that which other me has done.

Pearl: It's fine.

Cleo: Is it really? That was a big fail.

Pearl: Seeing what happened after that friendship wouldn't have lasted.

~~~~~

Pearl: And here starts my relationship with powdered snow.

Cleo: ... Fun.

Scott: Yeah what's up with that?

Pearl: You'll see.

~~~~~

Scott: Well that was... mean.

Martyn: Could even say it was cold?

Pearl: I wasn't talking about you, was talking about my Scott...

Grian: Also that pun was the lowest possible fruit.

Scott: I know...

~~~~~

3L!Scar: He he he he!

Pearl: What are you doing?

Scar: I think It's higher, he he he he!

Scott: I think they are trying to imitate the way you laugh.

Grian: I mean it is a pretty funny laugh, in the best way.

Pearl: ... Thank...you?? I guess.

Martyn: Why do you laugh like that though?

Scott: Oh my gods Martyn, you can't just ask someone why they laugh like that.

Cleo: I think I can do that laugh best.

Martyn: Oh really?

*Zombie Cleo proceeds to perfectly mimic Pearls laugh*

Martyn: ...

Scar: Wow.

~~~~~~

3L!Scar: Ranchers time!

Grian:... Ranchers?

Pearl: My Jimmy and Tango are the ranchers.

Martyn: Why though?

Pearl: Because they had a ranch duh. It's not that hard Martyn, It's not something that should be hard for you...not like a math question.

Martyn: ... Low blow.

Grian: Wait Scar, how did you know?

3L!Scar: I... live in the same place as the other losers, you learn stuff with time.

Cleo: And I'm sure that's the only reason why.

~~~~~~

Cleo: Jimmy and Tango both got Sing huh?

Pearl: They really are soulmates.

Grian: And they were soulmates.

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