#Work and life is still keeping me busy but I actually have time to do creative stuff again
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cherryblossompink303 · 7 hours ago
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Patience *Bonus Chapter*: ~degrees of seperation~
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➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Oceans apart can be very far away, and Kyoya never expected how far it would actually feel ➼ what to expect:  "If i didn't know better Kyoya Ootori I would think that you miss me" ➼ warnings: n/a
A/n: when someone comments that the next chapter will be y/n and Kyoya being masterminds and I already had this chapter written T-T
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You had to admit that the flutter that you felt in your chest when you heard the familiar jingle of the video call on your computer. The summer is going incredibly since you left Japan for an internship in Italy, you found yourself counting down the hours for Kyoya to call.
"Hello?" it is already dark for Kyoya when you answer, a symptom of the time difference. "Hi" you smile, still unpacking your bag as you had only just got in from work that day. "How did talking with that competator of your father go?"
Kyoya takes a sharp inhale at the mention of the meeting "As well as we could hope. I've sworn them to secracy even if they do not accept our offer" you nod "Good, I'm sure they will, they've been looking for a way to get back at the ootori group for years" Kyoya laughs through a hum "Very true"
"How was work?"
"Alright, in full honesty if they were paying me I probably could have fixed half their issues by now, but I also don't want to work for them long term so what would be the point?" Kyoya smirks "Sounds about right"
A comfortable silence overcomes the two of you as you both basque in your combined success. "Are you being well looked after?" you roll your eyes "Yes, you know that I am" Kyoya had insisted in you staying in one of his families properties while you were in Italy.
"Do you have enough money?" you laugh "I don't think money has ever been an issue" it is kyoya's turn to roll his eyes. "I am just making sure, the less you have to rely on your parents money the better”
You huff “yes Kyoya I am fine”
“Good.”
You shake your head at kyoyas expression “what’s got you so worried?”
“Your father called today.”
Oh.
You try to seem unbothered, looking away “oh really?” Kyoya hummed, leaning back in his seat “he’s wondering why you haven’t gone home”
You raise an eyebrow “and he called you?”
“He thinks I’ve kidnapped you” you laugh at the reply “in a way he’s not fully wrong” Kyoya scoffed “like you didn’t leap to stay at the villa instead of with your nonna”
“What did you say?”
“That you are extremely busy with work placements”
“Good”
Kyoya cleared his throat “he also mentioned something else”
“Hmm?”
“Now that we’re going into third year…he said that the l/n and ootori group are going to release a joint statement confirming our engagement by the end of the year”
“What?”
This was a strange move, even for your fathers of all people.
“I would have thought that they would have waited until we graduated to announce….why move it up?”
Kyoya hums in agreement “something must have prompted them”
You wrack your brain for any idea on what would trigger them to hasten the arrangement. “Well if my father is the one that is moving it up…possibly he is sensing that your father is getting cold feet?”
He raises an eyebrow “I mean possibly but I don’t know where he would get that idea, I must admit I haven’t really spoken to my father on the matter”
It is only now that is hits you exactly what you had just been told. “Wait Kyoya, if the engagement is announced what about the host club-“
“I’ll handle that, don’t worry”
You sigh, leaning back, shaking your head “I mean…I guess if it’s moved up then it’s still happening…that’s good right?”
“I suppose, it does mean that you won’t be with them for as long after we graduate” Kyoya sighed, taking out his notebook and scribbling something down that you can't see onscreen.
You keep forgetting somehow that this engagement is actually going to end in marriage despite that being the entire point. It makes you wonder actually what life being married to Kyoya would even look like.
You always used to picture it as being cold, that the two of you would just live in the same house and for the most part mind your own business. But that was before you actually started talking to each other now you have no idea.
"How are the host club?" Kyoya groans, leaning back in his seat "As infuriating as ever, they're even harder to handle without you here to keep them in check"
You laugh "It is still the summer I am sure that they haven't been that bad" you shake your head, taking a sip of your coffee. "Tamaki's delusions ae unfortunately not seasonal i'm afraid"
"I can imagine"
"That does remind me however, our said great leader has asked for your proposed events calendar for the next semester" You have to restrain yourself from laughing midsip at kyoya's newfound nickname.
"Ok, I'll have to get started on it then, I've been a bit busy planning corperate sabotage to work on it"
"It will work out, I am sure of it"
You pause. "There is...still one more thing that we still don't know"
"Hm?"
"What exactly my father is covering up for the ootori group"
Kyoya sighs "yeah, I've been trying to look into that, the problem is trying to investigate within the ootori group without exposing our plans"
you hum in agreement "true, it is just concerning that if the group is so desperate to cover something up that your father would arrange a marriage with the head of a media empire for his daughter then it is serious, the ootori group is in medical..."
"I dread to think aswell"
Things were just going to get messy this next year, you just knew it.
"When....are you returning to Japan?"
You're head shoots up at the question, surely he already knows, a detail like that does not slip under Kyoya's radar.
"I...my placement ends on the nineteenth, you know that"
"I know...I just...thought I have may have gotten my dates wrong"
"Why would you think that? your notes as meticulous I know that much"
"I know it's just, it feels like you've been gone for a long time so..."
You raise an eyebrow "If i didn't know better Kyoya Ootori I would think that you miss me"
"More like I need someone else to deal with tamaki and the twins" You roll your eyes "You love them don't be so mean"
"If you say so"
You roll your eyes "Okay well if they are that unbearable it will be one more week until I am returning to Japan, and then your torment will be over don't worry"
Kyoya lets out a small chuckle "Good"
"Goodnight Kyoya"
"Goodnight y/n"
The room all of a sudden feels all too quiet as the call ends. One more week.
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Next time on patience 'Kyoya's reluctant day out!'
Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848 @mistyhydrangeagarden
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idksomething356 · 23 hours ago
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My Littlest Pet Shop [au] tf x reader Absolute Territory pt.1
! DO NOT take this too deep&seriously, these headcanons are just for fun and for freaky freaks like me. This is my AU, so I am smashing everything I know together !
To fully understand what's happening here SFW + short story
You are a pet. Simply put — a pet. Time has passed since you first arrived on the Lost Light. Drift was the one who rescued you from the evil servos of Decepticons, who were ready to squeeze you like a stress ball and toss away your limp, soulless body. But for once, lady luck had finally smiled upon you.
Drift had actually planned to present you as a gift to his conjux, Ratchet — thinking that the always-busy medic could use a stress-relief pet to hold and lazily petting on the back or their little helm during breaks from work. He had no evil intentions, really! It was just that you were so small, miserable and terrified that you were facing a terrible death that he just couldn't pass by and leave you alone! Drift wanted to protect a creature so fragile and give it to his care. Of course, Ratchet immediately scolded his beloved and intended to return you to your shop owner.
But then — you clung to his digit for dear life, eyes full of tears, looking like a kicked puppy. You mastered all of your acting skills as soon as you realized these big bots ain't gonna keep you. And… his spark ached at this scene. Congrats! This old bot's feelings have been melted by your poor condition and tears.
So, you took full advantage of your current situation.
By the grace of Primus, Rodimus and half the crew had been to Earth before, so they understood your language. It was much easier to convince others to let you stay — especially once they realized you weren’t just some mindless animal, but a sentient, thinking being. Not without effort, but you've gotten everything you need for yourself from Rodimus; new clothes, hygiene items and your own separate, organized corner room with private bathroom. Once the red-and-yellow blob Rodimus Prime even chimed in on how expensive it is to keep a human pet. And quickly apologised for it under Ultra Magnus' stern gaze.
Things got a little awkward after that… yet still pretty chill. Because, at the end of the day, you were helpful!
Well, at least for being adorable, cute, little human, welcoming exhausted mechs back to the ship after long missions. All pretty to look at.
SWERVE
Your first ever close friend was Swerve! Oh, this guy not only loves humans but is also obsessed with your shows, music, and everything else. And he’s the funniest bot around! One of the Autobots who didn't see humans as little pets and really got into your kind as their equals. So, obviously, it was easy for you two to become close and hang out together at his bar. When you don't have much to do, you always find his company and you talk about something. And you're so open to him, not just his mask of perpetually cheerful bot, not just as a good bartender, but as a real person. Well, who better than you to know what it's like to be degraded to the level of an animal with no personality or intelligence? Right.
You often helped him with drinks as much as you could. At one point, you almost convinced him to buy you roller skates, a cute short skirt, and a blazer so you could skate around, clean the floors, or deliver energon to the minibots at their tables... Though, you both understood that being exposed to energon was extremely dangerous for you. So, in the end, all you really did was stay by the bar with him, entertaining mechs with your human stories!
However, he did end up buying you a mini skirt, a blazer, and even a few extra pairs of clothes…
RUNG
Oh, this sweet, sweet bot. So Gentle and patient with you! Maybe, that is a thing that you get along with minibots due to them being not so large and tall. Yes, Rung was much bigger than you, but at least you felt relatively safe, without the fear of being crushed suddenly and recklessly. You could say that for all minibots, if you think about it. What didn't escape your keen gaze tho, was the way that despite the smile so tenderly bestowed upon you by the Autobot, you sensed something deeper, even sadder, behind it. What's more, you've quietly become the second therapist for the Lost Light crew without expecting it. In fact, you were still happy to listen to mechs, to help them sort through their feelings or just simply be here for them when needed. Rung is not an exception to it, and honestly? He appreciate it. Very much. He shares his thoughts with you, often asks you about your past, and even showed you his model ships collection! Under very close watch. You even held one ship in your hands. Not for long, but still! For extra help, you would sometimes sit with Rung in his office and listen to him talk to his patient. Their chatter, which you couldn't understand at all, made you want to go to sleep often. What were you doing there anyway? Well, you played the role of an emotional support animal human. And he sometimes needs that kind of help too, at times even more private. RODIMUS Erm, this one is... defo something. The 'fuckboy' vibes you get from him are miles away! And that's not even your problem, Rodimus immediately started playing along and flirting with you as soon as you were aboard their ship. It was nice, as odd as it sounded, but you could easily tell it was just one of his personality traits and he didn't mean anything serious by those words. He loves attention — that's what you learned short after. Since you have plenty of time, you put aside your Cybertron history lessons (thanks, Ultra Magnus, again) and go pay a visit to see Rodimus. You'd think that since he's the captain of the ship, he'd be busy all the time. But in reality? Uh, 7 out of 10? You always wondered 'does he actually do his job?' Kinda...We're not here to discuss work, are we. He'll gladly welcome you into his quarters where you can talk or even help him with some business, more often than not related to real, necessary work, or watch some cool Earth media (cool stands for action movies). However, you quickly remember Ultra Magnus' very menacing faceplate and rush Rodimus to finish the important paperwork. And he's whining, making such a pathetic optic expression that you believe he's about to cry. No, he doesn't cry, just ex-vents and gets to it. At least it's not so boring doing it with you around. But if you really annoy him with reciprocal flirting enough, he'll first start to panic, and then…. you'll have to accept the consequences of your brazen flirting with your hands on him (he really liked the way your soft touch slid over his armour).
(I know Rodi is more than that, chill)
NSFW SOON
@kitschaosden
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subwaytostardew · 4 months ago
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Hey, it's been a bit since we've heard from you guys! Hopefully things are going much better for you both? I hope so, but Pokemon Masters EX is releasing sygna suits for the twins! Have you guys seen? What do you guys think? If not, I just wanted to let you both know.
Hello!! Sorry for the lack of updates...
We actually decided to take a break from the coding and implementation side of things until Stardew stabilizes. 1.6 has been a bit of a pain and I kept getting discouraged having to go back and fix things because of all the update patches... It was frustrating trying to make progress only to learn that I would have to go back and redo things.
The content in 1.6 is set to release November 4th, but from the beta of 1.6.9, I've heard that there's quite a few mod-breaking changes that I'll need to look into... later. I'm sure there will be more patches once mobile/console players can explore the new content (and report more bugs...). So... mod progress is on an indefinite pause while we wait for the game to be stable (and also get the motivation to work on it back... the thought of having to refamiliarize myself with the modding changes and fixing the broken content kills that a lot.)
In the meantime- we're still very much excited for new submas content!! I love their fancy new outfits... We're especially excited for new stories and dialogue to reference when writing them in more mod content!!
▷ Station Steward Thylak
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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purple-beans · 8 months ago
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I can't sleep again
#it's all just too much#i need to be sending out emails and arranging stuff for a whole load of different things#but doing that fills me with such anxiety because i dont know how the fuck it works#but every moment I'm not doing those things it fills me with anxiety because i realise I'm standing still#and the only way forward it seems is through this#only it's not because the previous thing i was going was actually working and helping me forward but then my local gov said no actually#you're not allowed to do the thing anymore because we think so even tho we dont know what were talking about#so now you got the offer to look into this other thing that really just feels like the thing you already had but worse#so you have to contact the new thing and see what exactly they're about but already deep inside you know it probably wont work out#so it feels like you'll be doing that only so you can see it doesnt work in the hope that maybe if it doesnt work you can go back#to the gov people and show them the old thing was actually right. but that might not work and then you'll have to sue them#and all the while you spend your days just sitting at home doing nothing and slowly wasting away#getting a little bit worse every day. as you feel all the progress you made in the last year slowly slip through your fingers#and you start to think that maybe this is it. maybe it just doesn't get better. maybe this really is the best you can do and any more just#isn't in the cards for you. maybe you're just not cut out for this whole adult life business. you'll forever be...a failure#and that's just one thing. one thing of many you constantly need to worry about. it's not even adressing that your adhd treatment is still#kind of unclear who exactly is responsible. you've been running out of meds for a week and still haven't called because it's too much stress#or the way its been almost five years since you got on the waiting list at the gender clinic#three years of which were spent on the waiting list#but even now you've been “in treatment” for the past year and a half you still feel like you're no further. still no official “diagnosis”.#still no approval to change your birth certificate. your passport will run out by the end of the year and you'll have to get yet another#new one with your dead name on it. still no idea when you might finally get their approval to start on HRT. no idea when you might finally#get to stop feeling like every single day your body becomes a little less yours. where you look in the mirror and see someone stare back who#just simply looks wrong. feels wrong. you look at the hair on your head that really needs a haircut but you dont dare touch it because its#the one little thing that keeps the dysphoria at bay. and then you think of your dad and his bald head. and you look at your hairline and#cant help but wonder “is it receding a bit more right there?” always wondering if you'll lose this little bit of safety too#its all just too much. i dont know how much longer I can keep pushing myself forward at this rate. when all the good things get taken away#and I'm left having to deal with all of it on my own. i dont want to be alone but i dont know how to reach out to those around me. not even#to my friends sometimes. i know they're out there and i know they care but at the same time i dont know how to#let them. so I'm left alone and it's all my fault? isn't it. i know not all of this is my fault but also all of it is and i just
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stupidnaturals · 2 years ago
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#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me#bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer#and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on !#unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. '#and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out#and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like#' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that#but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to???#and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand??#also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me '#or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever#and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance#which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away#like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!!#oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2#or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too '#and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs?#or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours#anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie?#so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again!#i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me#and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening????#anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me
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salemlunaa · 3 months ago
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☀︎ YOU’RE NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE, YOU’RE LAZY AND AFRAID ☀︎
And this will cost you a lot of time that could be spent with your desires…
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You have all the information, why aren’t you applying. You tell me you have been in this community for 6 months, a year, 2 years+, but how many of those days you’ve spent in this community have you actually applied, how many of those nights did you actually apply and don’t just fall asleep after 5 seconds.
And i know why you’re lazy, it’s because you’re scared, you’re scared of inducing process, whether it be success or failure. You make yourself busy with scripts and subliminals, “i’ll script this really cool thing first”, “i’ll scroll a little on tumblr first” “lemme just look at the success story hashtag before i do it, it really motivates me” You try and distract your self, you delude yourself into thinking you’re being productive but really you don’t want to, if you wanted to you wouldn’t be here and I will ALWAYS stand by that. You put it off until the last minute and then when it “doesn’t work” you run back to tumblr acting like you actually did anything.
a really good analogy from @archsariel333 - “you buy the pens, the notebook, you plan for the book you’re going to write but, you never write it”
“let me just add this one thing to the plan”, “let me look at inspo for book covers and art styles for illustration”, “let me go to my book writers group on tumblr and see if they have anymore advice for me even tho i know how to write a fucking book”
I know it’s comforting and validating to be in the “waiting period”, the period of anticipation. You want to go shopping for a vacation, pack your suitcase, look at reviews on social media, plan the pics you’re going to take, but getting on the actual plane can be scary, you ask yourself “what if they deny my boarding pass”, “what if i fail to make it on time”, “what if im not eligible to fly for whatever reason”, you don’t want to leave your comforting circumstances and even the trip itself scares you just a little, so you cope by buying all the vacation outfits in the world, saving inspo pics into a pinterest board, looking at vlogs of other people going to that place. You can’t bring yourself to get on the fucking plane.
You need to apply, and properly, 2024 is almost over, the amount of weeks we have left isn’t even in the double digits anymore, I don’t want you to make it to the end of this DECADE still keeping the tumblr “foryou” page company, watching people coming and going feeling paralysed as people who came here later than you pass you by. I know the feeling sucks but whose fault is that?
I want you to scrap the amount you’ve been here. Since you’re the operant power right? I don’t care how many weeks, months, years you’ve been here, scrap it, you’re going to start afresh and you’re going to actually apply, when you have the time, you’re not going to go back to your notes app, notion or pinterest to script some more, you’re going to apply.
A lot of you have the knowledge that majority of the world doesn’t and time on your hands, do you know how powerful and extremely fortunate you are, to have time AND knowledge? i don’t think alot of you understand how much of a privilege that is you are unstoppable yet you stop yourself out of fear that you will “fail” to tap into the void and let yourself down. You are so privileged to know what you know and to have the time to apply it, so do it, your not gonna scroll on tiktok for a few more minutes or shove a million subliminals down your throat to “prep yourself” you’re just going to take a breath and do it. Induce pure consciousness, and if you fall asleep scrap that assumption and do it again.
Look at your life right now, do you honestly like it, do you like envying others for having what you can have at the snap of your fingers. Do you like the life you are living?
I want you to tell yourself that you will not be the reason for your own demise. you will NOT be the reason that it’s 2026,27,28 and so on and you don’t have what you want.
please just go and apply, i don’t even know you guys and it hurts watching you kill time when you could’ve had everything a day ago, an hour ago heck even 5 minutes ago.
apply apply apply, don’t let this feeling be the reason you “fail” 💋🍑
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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anythingneverythingnstuffs · 3 months ago
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neighbor!reader x simon 'ghost' riley pt 5
masterlist
Ghost really wasn't sure how this happened.
One minute, he was taking off his boots, about to take off his mask for the day (after closing his blinds, of course), when all of a sudden he heard a knock on his door. A familiar knock.
And now, there he was. Sitting on his couch, you sitting on the opposite end, his neighbor, both with glasses of wine, wine that he had purchased you.
How the hell did this happen?
You were talking. You had been talking for a while, actually, and he was pretty sure you were going on and on about what you did for work now. He cared about what you were saying, he really did, but he just couldn't seem to focus on the words coming out of your mouth.
He lifted his balaclava a bit and raised the wine glass to his lips and took another sip of the red. He nodded as you continued on, something about clients at work.
Ghost wanted to care about what you did for work. But for some odd reason, while he did care about it, he knew it didn't matter. If he had his way, you wouldn't have to work, anyway. And then it wouldn't even matter.
"Hm?"
"I was saying thank you for the groceries," you said softly with a small chuckle. "And all the other stuff..."
Ghost waved his hand absently. "No need, love. It's the least I could do, considering you keep me just about fed nowadays."
Oh, and when you laughed... He wanted to listen to that melody forever.
“I know, Simon, but still-”
Words were certainly coming out of your mouth, but the man might as well have been deaf. He was so focused on your facial features, how the dimple formed on only one cheek and not the other when you smiled or laughed, and how your eyes seemed to get a little wider when you were emphasizing something you were talking about. You were just so passionate, so full of life- and so kind.
Before he knew it, he was on his third glass of wine. You were only on your second, but that was mostly because you spent so much of the evening chatting, and he spent most of it listening.
Ghost couldn’t remember the last time he so willingly listened to someone go on and on.
“Sorry,” you chuckled after a while, raising your wine glass back up to your lips to take another sip. “I’m kind of hogging the conversation, aren’t I?”
The lieutenant didn’t reply immediately, as he was too busy watching your delicate fingers curl around the stem of the wine glass you were holding. In fact, it took him a few seconds to register that you had even said something to him that he needed to reply to.
Shaking his head, he quickly cleared his throat. “No, no, you’re fine, love. Besides, I don’t mind listening to you-”
Not one bit.
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insanechayne · 2 years ago
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~ ~ ~
#you’ve usually sent me a message by now#but today I wake up for work and I’ve got nothing from you#and I know I probably won’t hear from you until close to midnight and then we’ll barely get to talk at all#because that’s what always seems to happen these days#idk sometimes lately it feels like I’m having to chase you or beg for your friendship or something like that#and it really sucks and kinda hurts and makes me feel stupid#you’re still my best friend and I still want to talk to you as much as possible#I’m still happy that you at least keep up the small effort of talking to me every single day because that’s our thing#but really how hard is it to send a message? you don’t have 20 minutes in your busy day to just sit and type something to me?#I’m not belittling how busy you may actually be I’m just pointing this out#and you still don’t want to have any connection aside from here and it’s like… idk I don’t want to be friends across a screen forever#I wonder if you still think of me as a secret even though you say we’re just friends#you can’t have it both ways and it’s starting to really fuck me up#because I’m trying to move on with my life and be a good partner to my girlfriend#but you still keeping me a secret has that glint of hope that you still want me and will one day use me again#and that’s not really healthy for anyone but especially not me and my new relationship#how do I bring this up to you? how do I talk to you and move forward if you barely speak to me anymore as it is?#because every time you are here we have so little time and you have so much else going on that I feel guilty about wanting to bring this up#I don’t want to topple this stable place we’re in with our friendship#and I don’t want to be bringing the mood down when I know you’ve been busy and tired etc#so then when can I ever get it out? when can I discuss these issues with you and start to find closure?#I don’t know what else to do about this except keep waiting you out for my opportunity in whatever form that takes#personal
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kimoralov3 · 5 months ago
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daylight
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
description: steve has had a lot of trouble in his love life. but he's also one of the biggest idiots known to man because the girl of his dreams is standing right in front of him
warnings: swearing, reader uses she/her pronouns, everyone is a lil mean to steve, mentions of stancy (not like that), like i said steve is an idiot, slight angst, fluff
word count: 3059
a/n: tagging @arkofblake because this technically was smth that she requested before i changed it. also shout out to her mom for the knowledge about phones from the 80s lol
“Steve, you can’t keep staring at her like some sort of lost puppy.” Robin says as she helps Steve put some beer and sodas in the cooler.
“What are you talking about?” He asks as he turns back to the fridge.
“Oh please, you’ve been staring at Nancy and Jonathan ever since they got here.” Robin comments as she opens the bag of ice and clumsily dumps it into the small cooler.
“Have not.” Steve mutters as he shuts the fridge door. Robin gives him a look, the look she seems to be giving him a lot these days. “Okay, fine. I have been staring at them, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”
“Oh really? What other reason is there for you to be staring at your ex and her new boyfriend?” She says suspiciously.
Steve pauses, trying to find the words to express the tangled mess that is his love life. He eventually gives up, shaking his head as he grabs the cooler off the counter and walks outside to the pool. “I can’t explain it.”
“Oh come on, you gotta give me something.” Robin pleads, giving Steve her best puppy dog eyes.
Steve glances over at his best friend before quickly looking away. “Those don’t work on me.” He says definitely, but quickly gives in when he spares another glance at Robin. “Seeing them together just makes me think about all the things I don’t have.”
“Wow, that’s really sad.” Robin says solemnly as she holds the back door open for Steve. “You sure you don’t still have feelings for Nancy?” She adds after another moment of silence. 
“Absolutely positive, Robin. That ship sailed a long time ago.” He explains as he sets the cooler by the pool.
And he wasn’t lying. Steve really was over Nancy. Sure, there had been a time when he thought the two of them would evolve into something more, but that was ages ago. 
But now Steve was alone for the first time in years, and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He’d been on dates, but they’d turned more into a chore than something he was actually enjoying. They all left him feeling like a piece of him was missing, a piece of himself that he just knew was important. 
“Steve?” A voice called, pulling him from his well of self despair. 
“Yeah?” He says as he turns around, nearly falling over when he notices who’s in front of him.
“Can you move over so I can grab a soda?” Y/N asks politely as she gestures to the cooler behind Steve.
“Oh shit, yeah, of course.” Steve stutters as he moves out of the way, nearly falling into the pool. Y/N gives him an awkward smile as she grabs a soda before walking back over to sit with Jonathan and Nancy. 
“What was all of that about?” Dustin asks as he appears beside Steve, munching on some Goldfish.
“Jesus kid, you need to wear a bell or something!” Steve exclaims as he presses a hand to his fast beating heart. 
“Or maybe you just need to be more observant.” Dustin says mockingly as he flicks a Goldfish at Steve’s face, causing the older male to swat at him.
“Will you two quit it!” Robin says as she separates the two of them. Dustin flips Steve off before going to go sit back with the party and Suzie. 
“I swear that kid has no manners.” Steve mutters to himself as Robin walks away to go sit with Eddie and Chrissy. Steve is so busy mentally planning out his revenge against Henderson that he doesn’t notice a certain someone staring at him like he’s hung the moon and the stars.
“Robin, you seriously need glasses or something. How could you put Ferris Bueller and Top Gun in the same section?” Steve complains as he removes the tapes from the shelf.
“Oh quit being a baby and move them, I’m busy here.” Robin calls from the back. Steve rolls his eyes, muttering something under his breath as he moves to the back of the store to grab his cart. 
“I’ll be with you in a minute!” He says when the front door rings. He sets the missorted tapes on a random shelf as he walks back up to the front counter.
“Welcome to Family Video, how can I help y— Y/N?” Steve asks, shocked to see her here.
“Oh, hey Steve. I forgot you worked here.” She says with a laugh as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder. Effortlessly, and beautifully to him, if anyone cared enough to ask what he thought. Which was a rarity. 
Steve gives her a small smile, silently cursing himself for not taking his normal amount of care when he was getting ready this morning. 
Robin really needs to learn some patience.
“Yeah, have been for a while.” He says as he rubs the nape of his neck. “So, what can I help you with today?” 
“Well, my parents are out of town so it’s just me at home. Figured I’d get some movies to keep myself occupied for a while they’re gone.” She explains as she looks around the store before her eyes land on Steve once again, causing a shiver to run down his spine. “Got any recommendations for me?”
“Of course, walk with me.” He says, shooting her his signature smile as he walks over to the staff picks shelf. 
“Is that Labyrinth?” Y/N asks with a chuckle as she picks it up and inspects the back.
Steve groans, rolling his eyes as he sees the movie. “Fucking Eddie. He must’ve snuck it onto the shelf when he was here earlier.”
“Well, he has good taste. Think I’ll be taking this one with me.” She says as she waves the box. Steve can’t explain it, but he feels a small tightness in his chest. 
“To each their own, I guess.” He says with a shrug, trying to ignore this strange feeling. “Anyways, I would definitely recommend these if you’re looking for a more calm night in.” 
Steve hands over The Goonies, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and Back to the Future, waiting patiently for a reaction. 
“Oh my god, is this a Muppets movie?” She asks with a laugh, inspecting the box. “My little cousin loves this movie.”
“Hm, I don’t know how I should feel about that. Are you calling my cinematic taste childish?” Steve asks with a chuckle as he leans against the shelf.
“I would definitely call it that.” Robin says, wheeling a cart as she walks past the two of them. Steve glares at her while Y/N snorts, hiding her smile behind her hand. 
“I wasn’t going to say that it was childish. I was going to say that it’s…interesting.” She explains, her voice pitching up on the last word. 
Steve scoffs at that, shaking his head. “Sure, we’ll go with that.” He says jokingly. “So, will this be all for you?”
“Uh, yeah. This should be good enough for the weekend.” She says as the two of them walk back to the front counter. 
“Glad to be of service.” Steve says as he takes a small bow, cursing himself for how stupid he probably looks. 
“You know, you’re really funny.” Y/N says as Steve rings up the movies. Steve smiles softly, more affected by her words than he would like to admit.
“Could you tell Robin that? She says I have the humor of an old man.” He jokes as he puts the tapes into a bag. Y/N snorts again, this time a little louder. 
“See what I mean? Very funny, Harrington. Very funny.” She says as he hands her the bag. There’s a brief moment of silence before Y/N speaks up again. “Do you wanna come over tomorrow? You know, watch a movie with me or something?” She asks nervously. 
Steve’s mouth hangs open a little, blinking slowly. There was no way he heard that correctly. “You want me to come over?” 
“Yeah. Only if you want to, of course.” She clarifies quickly. 
“Of course I wanna come. I’ll even bring some snacks.” He says as he leans his arms on the counter. 
Y/N smiles at that, nodding her head. “Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She says, giving Steve one final wave before leaving. 
“Man, you are such a doofus.” Robin says as she comes up behind him. 
“Can you not?” Steve says as he turns around to face her. Robin smirks, winking at him before walking away. 
“You did what?” Eddie asks with a laugh as he stops strumming on his guitar.
“Don’t laugh at me, I need your help here!” Steve says as he throws his soda can at Eddie.
“Hey, careful! This is my most prized possession.” Eddie says as he throws the can back at Steve, missing him entirely. “Now, tell me exactly what happened.”
“Y/N invited me over, and I went because of course I would, you know? And everything was going really well, at least to me.” Steve explains as he leans back against Eddie’s dresser. 
“Okay, doesn’t sound too bad so far. What happened after that?” Eddie says as he turns the knobs on his guitar. 
“Then I thanked her for inviting me and left.” Steve says simply. Eddie abruptly stops what he’s doing, setting his guitar down on his bed.
“You did what now?” Eddie exclaims as he stands from the bed, causing Steve to look up at him. 
“Left. Why, what’s wrong?” He asked, very confused by Eddie’s sudden outburst. 
“You’re a fucking idiot, that’s what’s wrong.” Eddie says as he grabs Steve’s arm and hauls him into the living room. “Stand right there.” 
Steve grumbles something under his breath as he rubs his arm where Eddie had grabbed it. “Since when are you strong?”
“Amps are heavy as shit man. Now shush.” He says as he dials a number on the phone. Steve mutters something about Eddie being rude as he watches him press the phone to his ear. 
“Who are you calling?” Steve asks, only to be shushed by Eddie. Steve rolls his eyes, watching as Eddie waits for the person on the other end to pick up. 
“Hey Y/N! Do you have a moment to talk?” Eddie says when the person on the other end picks up. Steve automatically stands up straighter, listening closely to try and hear what Y/N was saying. 
“— Not in the mood—” Is the only thing that Steve can make out from here, causing him to frown. Was Y/N really that upset with him that she didn’t want to talk to anyone?
“Just humor me, please? What exactly happened yesterday with Harrington?” Eddie asks as Steve gets closer to the phone.
“I did what you and Robin told me to and asked Steve out, and absolutely nothing happened. I even tried scooting closer to him to see if he would catch the hint, but he didn’t! And then when it was time for him to leave, I went to kiss his cheek and he hugged me, Eddie. He hugged me!” Y/N rants from the other end of the line. “So either everyone is bullshitting me and Steve Harrington actually isn’t into me, or he’s the most oblivious man on the face of the planet.” 
Eddie gives Steve a knowing look as he says his goodbyes before hanging up the phone. “See? Idiot.”
Steve bangs his head against the wall as Eddie pats him pitifully on the shoulder. “So you mean to tell me that yesterday was supposed to be a date?” He finally says when he’s done with his attempt to knock some sense into himself. 
“It was a date. Could you honestly not tell?” Eddie asks as he crosses his arms over his chest. 
“No! I just thought that she was trying to be nice!” Steve says as he slides down the wall. 
“Man, can’t believe this. Former king of Hawkins High is sitting on the floor of my trailer, having a crisis because he blew a date with a pretty girl.” Eddie says as he shakes his head. Steve doesn’t even bother responding, sitting there with his head in his hands. “So, are you going to try and fix it or not?”
“What do you mean?” Steve asks as he finally looks up.
“God, since when did I become the smart one here?” Eddie asks in mock disappointment. “You need to go back over to Y/N’s and make everything right.” 
“How am I supposed to do that? I think you of all people should know that I’m not good with this stuff.” Steve said as he stood up. Eddie groans, rubbing his hands over his face. 
“My god, Harrington. You’re hopeless.” He says. “Here, I’ll tell you exactly what to do.”
Under any other circumstance, those words would’ve sent fear straight into Steve’s heart. Especially coming from someone like Eddie. But he was desperate, and desperate people don’t always make the smartest decisions. 
Steve stands outside of Y/N’s door, her favorite flowers in hand. He stands there for a moment, mentally going over everything that Eddie told him to say. He takes a deep breath before giving up and knocking on the door.
It’s silent for a moment before Steve hears the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. The door opens up to reveal Y/N standing there, arms over her chest.
“What do you want, Harrington?” She asks coldly. Steve gulps at that, rocking back and forth on his feet a little. Guess I deserve that a little.
“I just came here to apologize. For yesterday.” He says as he holds out the bouquet of flowers. Y/N hesitates before taking the flowers from him, smelling them quickly.
“What exactly are you apologizing for?” She asks after a moment.
“For being an idiot. If I had known that you wanted yesterday to be a date, I would’ve handled things a lot differently.” Steve explains as he nervously shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Different? Different how?” She asks as she leans against the doorframe. Steve pauses, trying to think of the best way to say what he wanted to say.
“Can I come in? I think it would be better.” He asks as he scratches his head. Y/N gives him a suspicious look before stepping aside and gesturing to the living room. Steve mutters a small thank you as the two of them walk into the living room and sit on the couch. 
“So, what exactly is it that you would’ve done differently?” She asks as she sets the flowers on the coffee table. 
“For starters, I wouldn’t have let our first date just be us watching a Muppets movie on your couch.” Steve says in a joking tone, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. “If I had known, I would have taken you out to dinner. Hell, if you really wanted I would’ve taken you to go see one but god I would not have gone to go see a freaking kids movie.”
“Why, what’s wrong with kids' movies?” Y/N asks teasingly, causing Steve to laugh for the first time since he got there. 
“I guess you’re right.” Steve says as he turns to face Y/N. “Can we get a do over date? I promise that this time I won’t act like a complete idiot.” He says sincerely. Y/N seems to mull it over for a moment before looking up at Steve.
“Promise?” She asks softly, as if she was still hurt and embarrassed from what happened the night before. 
“Swear on my life. And you know if I break it, I’ll have Nancy, Robin, and Eddie on my ass about it.” He adds jokingly, but it isn’t really a joke. He had seen first hand how scary Nancy could be when she was upset, and he did not want to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Again. 
“Fine. But I’ll need you to ask me properly.” She says after a longer moment of consideration, sitting up straight against the back of the couch.
“Fine by me.” Steve says as he stands up, pulling Y/N with him. They give each other small smiles before Steve clears his throat dramatically. “Y/N, I’ve had feelings for you for a while now. Longer than I would personally like to admit. So, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?” 
Y/N stands with their hand on their chin, looking off into space as she pretends to think long and hard about Steve’s offer. Steve starts to get nervous that she might actually reject him when she leans up, pressing a quick peck to his cheek. “Of course I’ll go out with you, Steve.” 
Steve feels the heat rush to his cheek at Y/N’s actions, looking down at them with the biggest grin in the world. “You know, technically we’ve already had our first date. So it wouldn’t be completely insane of me to kiss you, would it?” He asks as he steps closer to her. 
Y/N lets out a chuckle before responding, her hands behind her back. “No, no. I don’t think it would be completely insane, as you put it.” 
That’s all the permission Steve needs before he pulls Y/N closer by her hips, their lips slotting together perfectly. He feels more than hears her sigh into the kiss as she raises her arms to wrap them around his neck. 
When they both pull away for air, Steve swears he can see all the stars in her eyes. “That was…”
“Wow, how many girls can say that they took Steve Harrington’s breath away after a single kiss?” She asks teasingly, although it was easy to tell by the heat of her cheeks that she was just as — if not more — affected by the kiss as Steve was. 
Steve rolls his eyes, which was seeming to become a common practice for him these days. “Way to ruin the moment.”
Y/N shrugs, giving Steve one of her award winning smiles. At least they were in his mind. “What can I say, it’s one of my many special talents.”
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catscidr · 9 months ago
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// taking care of your dogboy (hsr edition!) //
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i. note — sry i havent been posting yall i got a job + ive been working on three cosplays at the same time bc my local con is coming up lmao (´ཀ`」 ∠) however the brainrot never stops. it only takes a break. a little break of approximatively. a month. ish. ......... anyways dog hybrid hsr boys brainrot !!! lmk if we want more of this with more boys •ᴗ• comments and asks are appreciated hehe ii. includes — blade, gepard, boothill and gn!reader iii. cw — slice of life stuff turning into smut, possessive behaviour, overstim, slight dom/sub dynamics, real messy stuff, manhandling. use of the word "hole" to keep reader gender neutral iv. wc — 1,9k
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blade is a mutt riddled in scars and dirty bandages from living on the streets and fighting to survive.
you think he might be some german shepherd mix, but he refuses to let you swab his teeth n gums for a dna test (last time you tried you narrowly avoided a punch to the face. he apologized in his own way afterwards), so whenever people ask, just say he’s a rescue to avoid revealing that you actually just… don’t really know what breed he is. they usually drop the subject and simply go on their merry way, seeing as he wasn’t the type of pup to appreciate affection from strangers anyways– it’s rare for you to leave the house in the first place, though.
you had to switch to a remote job because blade is just so persistent when it comes to you. although possessive is a much better descriptor, because he doesn’t let anyone near you. whenever you leave to get groceries he ends up practically breathing down your neck from how close he gets— acting as if he were your literal shadow— glaring at everyone that gets too close to you. you’ve made it a habit to always go to self-checkout lane so blade doesn’t scare off the cashiers.
the second you get home he’s all over you, determined to rid you of that outside stench and replace it with his own. you started packing your grocery bags in a way that nothing will break if (read: when) you suddenly drop them on the floor, all because you’re so familiar with blade’s impatience.
he holds you still by engulfing your body with his, knees caging your hips as he grinds into you, shallow and deep. blade’s growls and huffs fill your ears just as much as his cock fills your hole, his knot kissing your tightness from the outside.
“do you like this? like how i have to fuck you every time you decide to go outside again when you could stay here,” with me blade omits, his tail swishing back and forth on the bedsheets behind him, the sound just barely grounding you to reality.
your grocery bags were long forgotten on the foor (as they usually are), your mind too foggy to function. clawing at the sheets, you try to crawl away from blade’s grip— to no avail.
he tuts, craning his head to bite down onto the skin where your shoulder meets your neck. “i might just need to mark you for extra precaution,” he bucks into you, knocking the air out of your lungs. you hear squelching, the constant plap! plap! plap! from his thighs smacking against your ass and whine, broken babbles leaving your kiss-bruised lips.
“b-blade, y’can’t- ah,” he shushes you by plugging you full of his lengthy cock, his knot almost threatening to press inside of you. you whimper, feeling lightheaded from a mix of both nervousness and arousal.
he soothes the hickey he left on your neck, licking it languidly as he stills to bask into the way your hole throbs around him. warm and tight and oh so tempting.
“shit, wanna fill you. wanna… have everyone know they can’t have you. you’re mine, mine to love ‘n mine to fuck,” you’re not lucid enough to process his thinly veiled confession, too busy writhing your ass back against him in a feeble attempt to get him to continue moving.
you might want to invest into some good concealer or into those skin coloured tattoo patches to cover the bruises and bite marks blade’ll leave on you if you want to continue being a functioning member of society. you can’t really be walking around in public as if a dog had just mauled you right before you left the house, can you?
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gepard is a golden retriever because of COURSE he is. similarly to blade, he likes to invade your personal space a lot— not because he’s possessive, but because he’s extremely protective of you.
the random bruises you used to randomly notice on your body faded as soon as he came into your life. gepard’s soft, lingering touches healed them; gently placing a hand on your hip before you bump into sharp furniture so it doesn’t hit you, redirecting your head to his shoulder as you nod-off in the train before you bang your head, and so on.
it’s a full-time job and he’s working 24/7, always on the lookout for anything that could possibly hurt you as you saunter off… wherever, without a care in the world— because he took care of everything!
he would clean the apartment for you, cook (though you usually insist you do the cooking; a human doesn’t have the same taste in food as a hybrid), and even act as your own personal alarm clock. gone were the days of being woken up by loud, blaring beeping. gepard woke you up with forehead kisses instead, making your mornings much more pleasant.
but poor geppie, he’s always taking care of you; so take care of him, won’t you?
every so often you’ll sit in his lap to help him get rid of whatever stress he held in his body. your hands will knead at the muscles in his broad shoulders, all while you simultaneously kiss away the strain in his face. his brows are furrowed as you do your best to soothe his muscles; you never forget to smooch his cheek, nose and the corner of his lips.
though the attention and gentle acts of affection always ends with your hands lower than they should be.
“ah ah, no touching, remember?” you murmur in his ear playfully. you had been at it for what felt like hours; gepard’s cock and abdomen was smeared with the remnants of his cum, skin tacky from his previous loads. your hand shows no sign of stopping, not even when he begged oh so sweetly.
“c-come onn. just… jus’ wanna kiss…” and who were you to deny your sweet boy? your lips find his in a heartbeat, his tongue swiping over your own sloppily as he breathes you in like a depraved man.
the only condition you had when you did this was for him to keep his hands to himself— at least until you both decide to move on to something else. until then, his fists clench the sheets beneath the both of you, and his ears stay flat on his fluffy head.
“i’m… i’m close again, g- aah, please, please…!” he begs, cock weeping precum as you continuously jerk him off. you smile, absentmindedly rocking your hips to the rhythm you held him prisoner to— gepard was too engulfed in the warmth of your hand to notice, anyways. “cum whenever you want sweet boy,” you purr, and he keens as he buries his face in your neck, his hips lifting off the bed ever so slightly as they meet your hand and he thrusts, riding the high of his orgasm.
sticky cum coats your hand for the nth time; you relent your grip on his cock for his sake, instead choosing to shower him with chaste kisses all over his face. gepard whines, taking ahold of your waist weakly as he breathes into the crook of your neck.
“geppie, your han-“ he cuts you off, swiftly switching positions so you’re now laying on your back as he hovers over you, chest rising and falling quickly, catching his breath from the intensity of his orgasm. gepard’s tail wags slowly behind him as his hands creep up from your waist to your chest just as slowly- you feel his cock harden against your pelvis, precum spilling from his pinky tip.
“‘ts my turn now,” he huffs, leaning down to nip at your neck.
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boothill is the most obnoxious dalmatian hybrid you’ve ever seen (not that you’ve seen many, or at all). but he’s made your life so fun so you can’t be too mad at him
he’s always dragging you out of bed to go do something— could be going to the park nearby or sit in the living room playing video games on your dusty console, it doesn’t matter because he’ll MAKE you step out of your cozy nest!!
you’re glad he’s friendly, because you’re not sure how you would handle such an excited hybrid when you left the house. people come up to the both of you to chat and he indulges their questions, essentially leading the conversation (while you stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say).
boothill is also great with kids, unexpectedly. 9 times out of 10 when you go to the park he ends up playing with someone’s child, bright smile on his face as he messes up their hair with a rough hand. they’ll throw a frisbee for him to go catch and he’ll do it happily, or he’ll even… teach them how to beat people up.
(you stare mortified as he teaches a little girl how to throw a proper punch only for her to then punch her parent when she leaves boothill’s side. you go up to them and apologize profusely, forcing boothill to bow with you.)
he also loves to help you out, even though he’s not the greatest at household chores— but he definitely tries! though he is a stellar cook, which never fails to surprise you whenever he’s on dinner duty. he just… really sucks at everything else.
it’s… mostly because he just has so much energy. he sweeps the floor? nope, he’s picking off the pieces of the broom off of the floor because he accidentally broke it. he’s fixing your bed? nuh uh, you’re throwing out the ruined bedsheets because he accidentally tore them to shreds somehow.
so, with all of these accidents happening because he’s just brimming with energy 24/7, you started purposely exhausting him. or, rather, gave him the green light to exhaust you until he tires himself out.
“booth-aah, w-wait, you’re being too…!” you fall over on top of his hard chest, keening at the new angle his cock reached inside of you. he repeated his assault on the spot that made you see stars as your jaw gaped, broken moans leaving your lips.
“don’t tell me y’re tapping out.. haa, already!” boothill grunts, his grip on your hips tightening. he throws his head back with a loud moan, abs tensing as he nears yet another climax— the 5th one of the night. maybe, maybe not. you lost count after the third one.
you bury your face into the crook of his neck, focusing on the feeling of his cock plugging you full instead of the soreness, the burn in your muscles that came from your knees holding you up on his lap.
watching you riding him will always be his favourite thing in the world, even if he always ends up fucking up into you and taking back control at the end of the night.
“gonna cu-uum…” you whine, clenching around his length almost painfully tightly, hearing his breathing hitch as an orgasm is ripped out of him in consequence to yours. boothill’s fingers dig into your ass, his hips lifting off the bed as he cums deep inside of your sloppy hole again, sticky fluid building up beneath the sheets.
you collapse on top of him fully, chest heaving against his own as you come back to your senses, slowly but surely. boothill’s ears perk up, hearing how your breathing had evening out.
“so… got another round in ya?”
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dreamsteddie · 3 months ago
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AITA Steddie Au Part Three
Part Two
Hello! Sorry for the delay! This week was very busy with student conferences and my own midterms so I haven't had a lot of time to work on this. This is more of an interlude building up to bigger things, but I hope you enjoy it!
Also! Get in the comments if you have any ideas of an actual name for this series so I can stop calling it AITA Steeddie Au. I can't think of anything good 😓
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Eddie takes Steve on that second date.
And then a third and a fourth and eventually he stops counting because he's seeing Steve as often as he can between their jobs and other responsibilities. He feels high off it, giddy with possibility and hope for this new thing that he's never had before.
Eddie has done relationships before, a couple of times. A small handful of boys and girls he took out on dates and tried his best to woo all went up in flames one way or another, but none of those relationships left him feeling so gone so fast. He felt like he was always holding himself back from giving himself up completely, too afraid of falling without a safety net to reach for that deep devotion he's always craved.
Steve makes him feel like they're plunging into that unknown together.
Still, no matter how much he's been trying to avoid it, the looming specter of what the hell to do about his friends is looming over his head.
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"Are you fucking serious right now dude?" Eddie asks, a complicated mix of righteous anger, humiliation for himself and Steve, and complete disbelief at Gareth's unwillingness to back down from this making it increasingly difficult to keep his cool.
"Look man, all I'm saying is that Steve is like, the complete antithesis of literally everything we stand for. He's a nepo baby business major who's never had an original thought in his life! I would know! I've read one of his papers." Gareth says, forced nonchalance coloring his tone and riling Eddie up even more.
He rears up, shoulders pushing back and hands grasping at the air like he could pull down his frustration from the either and condense it into a solid ball he could lob at Garteth's head to finally knock some goddamn sense into his brain.
"Hey, hey, hey. Okay, Eddie, I'm really sorry about this. It was a fucked up idea, I don't know what we were thinking." Jeff interveins before the frustrated banshy noises Eddie is letting out turn into another yelling match that won't get anyone anywhere.
"I think we just got too caught up wanting to help you get out of this rut and it all turned into something completely insane. You don't gotta forgive us Eddie, but if there's anything we can do to try and make up for it, we'll do it. Isn't that right Gareth?" Jeff pointedly asked with a look that says agree with me right now or else.
Gareth doesn't say anything.
The thing about all of this that Eddie just can't wrap his head around is the why. Why would his friends, his sheepies, do something so cruel? He knows none of them have ever looked kindly at people like Steve. Too many traumatizing high school humiliations behind them all to trust when someone who looks so much like all the guys who bullied them in high school tries to reach out, but Gareth and Jeff have never tried something like this. In fact, it's used to be Eddie doing most of the anti-jock revenge planning back in the day, even if nothing ever actually came from it.
He thought, incorrectly it seems, that they had grown out of the worst of it by now. It's been three years since Garteth graduated, and five since Eddie made his final attempt, and leaving their hometown behind did a lot to heal old hurts.
So why this? Why now?
"Is this seriously how it's going to be man? You won't tell me what the fuck any of this was really about and you're not even going to try and apologize? Seriously?" The righteous anger is starting to seep out of him, leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion.
Gareth just continues to stare at him defiantly, not saying a word.
Eddie pinches his nose and takes a deep breath, "You know what? Fine. Whatever. If this is how it's going to be then I'm out. Jeff, I'll talk to you later, probably not for a little bit though. Gareth?" The other man lifts his head from where he'd been looking down at his shoes. There were tears in his eyes, just a little bit but enough for Eddie to clock it. Face red from some unnamed cocktail of emotions Eddie doesn't have the energy or desire to interrogate right now. "Call me when you're ready to grow the fuck up. I've got a second date to plan."
With that, Eddie turned on his heel and made for the open garage door.
"What about the band, man?!" Gareth called.
Eddie kept walking.
-------
That was over four weeks ago.
He hasn't spoken to Gareth for most of that time. The first couple of days he blew up his phone with angry to half-apologizing texts that Eddie promptly ignored. After the second day, he sent a single text back letting him know he didn't want to talk unless he had a real explanation and apology to give both him and Steve and that he was going to block his number for a little while. He could let Freak know if he was ever ready to talk like adults. Eddie trusted him to tell if Gareth was being genuine.
In other news.
Waking up to strong arms secured around his naked waist is fast becoming Eddie's favorite way to start the day. He and Steve slept together for the first time last week, and since then it's like neither of them can get enough of each other.
"Hey, baby." Steve rasps in his ear, tilting his head down to smear sleepy kisses onto his shoulder. The hand that was resting against his ribs meanders its way down to the trail of hair under his navel, scratching just a little and making Eddie feel like a contented mutt. He's not sure if he should feel horny or like he could sink into the mattress and sleep for another full 8 if Steve keeps holding him like his.
"Mornin' sweetheart." he says deciding that a couple more hours of sleep is definitely the way to go. Steve, it seems, has other idead.
"What you thinkin' about this early in the morning?" He asks, hand continuing to scratch lazily at Eddie's stomach like he's not completely destroying Eddie's will and ability to focus on anything but the warm body behind him.
But it's been a long time coming, and as much as he doesn't want to, Eddie needs to start thinking about what he wants to do about his friends? former friends? estranged family? band and Steve deserves to be a part of the conversation.
Eddie sits up, bringing Steve up with him to rest against the headboard. "I've been thinking about the band. Gareth and Jeff, that is." He pauses, waits for some kind of reaction that doesn't come. Steve looks concerned, but not in the way he thought he would.
"Ok." Steve responds, waiting for more.
"I guess I just don't know what to do." He looks out into the middle distance of Steve's bedroom. Takes in the display of swim, basketball, and baseball trophies displayed proudly on a shelf, catching the early morning light. "I'm still so fucking mad. It's honestly kind of irritating how mad it makes me to think of what they did. It was so fucking stupid."
Steve hums a little, letting Eddie get it out.
"But at the same time I can't help but fucking miss them. Miss the music and the campaigns and everything else." It's honestly been eating him alive, the mix of anger and longing he's been feeling for his friends. The constant longing to go back in time and stop them from concocting this shit show but also, like, stalk Gareth to his 8 AM Business class so he can run into Steve and they can fall in love at first sight or some shit.
Silence.
Steve shifts. Moves so he can look Eddie right in the face. He looks thoughtful in a way that Eddie had to get used to. Sometimes when Steve is thinking hard about something, he scrunches his face in such a way that it makes him look like he's judging you. He isn't, it's just an unfortunate fact of life that his baby has a resting Judgemental Face™.
Steve heaves out a big breath, bringing Eddie back down to earth. "I mean, I don't want to, like, cloud your judgement or whatever but maybe you should try and talk to them one more time. Jeff appologized right?"
And, ok that's definetly not what Eddie was expecting to hear. It must show on his face because Steve is suddenly looking away, embaraced.
"I just..." He trails off, taking his own turn staring out at the dull shine of his old acomplishments. Eddie watches as his face once again turns pensive as he stares harder at the remnents of his high school acheivements.
"I used to be a pretty shitty guy. Did the same kind of shit your buddies did a couple of times." This isn't necessarily news to Eddie. They've talked a little about who Steve was in high school and how much work he put into himself before he decided to go back to college. It's still a bit of a shock to hear, though.
"So I get how someone can make a mistake like that, y'know? So if you want to try and talk it out, I won't be offended. I know we're in this together, now." Peace said, Steve reaches for Eddie's hand and gives it a squeeze.
It hits Eddie again, just how good Steve Harrington is. It hasn't been long, not really, since they got together but they've fallen together so completley, so easily, that it's easy to forget that there's still so much they have to learn, so many layers for Eddie to peal back. Behind every judgemental remark and complaint about the frequent phone calls he gets from chuldren he used to babysit in his hometown is a man who cares deeply and is capable of great forgiveness, even if it hasn't been earned yet.
Eddie squeezes his hand back.
"Are you sure?" Eddie asks.
"Yeah, it's not we have to totally forgive them, right? But I think you need to get a real answer from both of them about why it happened. Maybe you can find a way past it, maybe they'll say something that puts the nail in the coffin." He responds.
Eddie takes a deep breath, and thinks.
Steve is right. Eddie isn't satisfied with any of the answers he got last time, and he knows that there has to be more to the story than "trying to get Eddie out of a rut" and he's not going to be able to put any of this to rest until he understands.
"Ok, yeah. I'll call them." Steve gives him an encouraging smile at that, rubbing the back of Eddie's hand where they haven't let go yet.
"Good, I'm glad. And I can come with you if you want. Hit em from both sides." he says. Eddie think's he'll take him up on that offer, but right now he had more imporant things to do. Namely, tackling his sweet boyfriend onto the mattress and having a mid morning tousle.
"We'll see. Right now I've got more imporant things to do." He says in his best aproximation of a sultry voice. He doesn't know how good it really is, but it seems to work based on the way Steve's eyes get hooded and he looks down at Eddie's mouth.
Gotcha.
Before Steve can lean down and kiss him, Eddie snaps his hands down to his boyfriend's sides in a well executed tickle atack. Steve immedietly jolts and starts howling with laughter, yelling between breaths that Eddie is "a fucking asshole" as he continues his relentless atacks.
Eventually, Steve manages to regain his bearings and go on the offence, turning them over and trapping his boyfriend's hands beneath his knees so he can atack Eddie's equally ticklish sides.
Once the late morning has passes into early noon and they've both settled back into Steve's signifigantly more rumpled be, Eddie takes one more moment to think about the furute to come before he shelves it. He knows that whatever conversation is to come, it won't be easy, and even if things go as smoothly as possible with Gareth and Jeff, things will never be the same between them all.
Looking down at Steve, who is sporting the most outrageous bedhead in human history, laughing at the stream of reals Robin sent him in the middle of the night, he thinks he'll be okay either way.
Tag List
@wheneverfeasible @the-dark-hearts @sofadofax @wrenisfangirling @whatfinestandsfor @lilpomelito @raisedbylibrarians @ollyxar @mugloversonly @xxbottlecapx @hezaaxdexangelous @kimsnooks @that-one-gay-crow @travelingtwentysomething @shoujo-wizard @stripey82 @live-laugh-love-dietrich @cr0w-culture @notaqueenakhaleesi @bookworm0690 @r0seprincess @estrellami-1 @little-annie @dreamercec @tinyplanet95 @rawrx3ky-txt @bexinator3000 @justalittledrainbamage @scarletyeager @themoonagainstmers @yesdangerpls @mydysfunctionallife @maverickricky @silentiumdelirium @i-amthepizzaman @samsoble @foolishness-and-confusion @dragonmama76 @gregre369 @thewickedkat @lexr86 @martinskis-lydias
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cherrysurf · 1 month ago
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winning you back pt.2
-where haikyu boys try to win back you their ex gf
-this is lwk depressing but maybe it’s bc of the music im listening to rn LMAO
contains; atsumu, tsukishima, kita, sakusa, oikawa, iwaizumi
pt.1 of winning you back here!
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atsumu; He still very much has all your pictures on his feed that he never deleted and never will you had to go minimal contact with him because he kept texting you every other day to try to get back together, he still loves you and thinks your gonna be his wife and that this is just a rough patch, so when you post that you’re going to be volunteering at osamu’s restaurant for a charity that osamu is doing for young kids to get into volleyball he takes it upon himself to cancel his practice for that day and go and join you two and begged and forced osamu to make you too work together so he can talk to you, and those dam miya’s being so good and weaseling there way back into life’s, it worked. You two are now talking again. You told him that you wanted to take this slow, but atsumu later that week posted a soft launch of you two at dinner.
tsukishima; tsukishima acts like he’s so nonchalant but no one’s seen him cry over how bad it’s killing him that you can fully ignore him when he’s usually the one doing that. He hates how bad he fucked up so he decided to make a plan to win you back, what does that mean he had to do? work at the same cat cafe as you, at first you weren’t on the same shifts and maybe hanging out with cats was a plus but getting crushed on by other girls wasn’t. Anyways as soon and he saw you two were on the same shift he couldn’t be more happy, it was a slow shift so he used this time to catch up and be very soft and respectful he saw you weren’t fighting back so he was thinking that was a step forward, until later on when a girl came by to order a drink and was clearly flirting with him so tsukishima ignored her, as she said “can i get your number?” you turned to see what he would do all he said was “no i have a girlfriend she’s right there actually, i don’t what gave you the confidence to think you could ask me” he said laughing which left the girl embarrassed and you flustered.
kita; Kita is forever my yearning man. He writes letters for you and sends them, you kept them all because you still didn’t get over him. He thought it was the right choice to let you go but he couldn’t have been more wrong, and I fear kita is the type to have a romantic scene like the movies. So what? anyways he comes by your hour IN THE POURING RAIN. to apologize “i’m sorry im selfish for breaking up with you yn, i just clean up well i forget myself” OOOO YOU END UP SOBBING BC WHO WOULDN'T?! anyways safe to say you kissed in the rain and he won you back
sakusa; stubborn ass ho. He was shocked when you broke things off even more when you actually stood on business, sakusa was one to keep his composure and not crashout but he couldn’t understand why he was so affected by the breakup it’s like his whole life flipped upside down. He even stopped keeping up with himself for a bit which was totally out of the norm. So when you saw him at your apartment in the lates of the night messy hair, wrinkles in his clothes looking dead you knew something was wrong, he almost felt like he could breathe again once you embraced him, disgusting and all and he didn’t let go since and tried to change for the better
oikawa; He acted happy at first like it didn’t matter because he thought you needed him more than he needed you. Oh how wrong he was, the fan girls didn’t support him the way you did, didn’t cheer for him the way you did, no one could cook as good as you, no one could get him out his depression like you could, so one night around 4am he gave you a call wanting to quit volleyball because he felt like he couldn’t do anymore without you there, which broke your heart because you saw how bad he was struggling without you there and that’s when he finally admits “I needed you more than you needed me. Come back yn, i’m sorry” and you did because you needed him just as much as he needed you.
iwaizumi; it was mutual breakup but not really he just did whatever he could to make you happy he hated fighting with you, he never deleted your pictures, he still kept all your stuff that you didn’t take at his house, he was still loyal even if you weren’t together, He blamed himself for not fighting back. he became very very career oriented that’s when he saw you at a job interview, you had just finished interviewing for the place he works at as a sports medical assistant. you weren’t aware he was working there so he stopped you and asked to get lunch since you were leaving and he was on his lunch break. That's where he apologized for not doing more and still thought about you and asked for a redo and would do anything for a second chance, and you agreed because you felt the same.
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tags; @solarvrse (for the atsumu one) @sahrii (for the iwaizumi one)
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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