#Women’s health needs it's own terms

[coochiequeens]

"It is vital that women's voices are heard in the NHS and the privacy, dignity and safety of all patients are protected." -Steve Barclay. Finally a man I can quote without without an eyeroll emoji

Health secretary plans to bring back 'sex-specific language' to NHS

Steve Barclay wants to push back against what he calls "wokery" in the National Health Service, with a source telling Sky News "ideological dogma" is stopping women from being listened to when it comes to their health.

Tuesday 3 October 2023 12:01, UK

Transgender women will be banned from being treated in female hospital wards in England, under new proposals put forward by the health secretary.

In his conference speech, Steve Barclay announced plans to push back against what he called "wokery" in the NHS, saying it had led to women's rights being increasingly sidelined.

The government will consult on making changes to the NHS constitution, which will also include the right to request same-sex intimate care requests.

The health secretary also confirmed sex-specific language would be used when dealing with women's health.

Speaking to party members in Manchester, Mr Barclay said: "We need a common-sense approach to sex and equality issues in the NHS - that is why today I am announcing proposals for clearer rights for patients.

"And I can today confirm that sex-specific language has now been fully restored to online health advice pages about cervical and ovarian cancer and the menopause.

"It is vital that women's voices are heard in the NHS and the privacy, dignity and safety of all patients are protected."

In April, Equalities Minister Kemi Badenoch said the government could ban trans women from entering female-only spaces, and asked parliament's human rights watchdog for its advice to change official wording from just "sex" to "biological sex", which she described as a "technical and contested area of law".

Elsewhere in his speech, Mr Barclay also announced an expansion of NHS training and funding of new technology in the health service.

He also confirmed new medical schools in Worcester, Chester and Uxbridge, as well as an increase in the number of places up and down the country for students wanting to train to be doctors.

However, Labour said the three "new" schools announced already exist, and added that restrictions on the number of government-funded places mean they are only training international students.

Mr Barclay's speech comes with the backdrop of ongoing junior doctor and consultant strikes in England.

They are taking joint action, with Christmas Day levels of cover expected until Wednesday.

It follows two days of strike action at the end of September and coincides with Rishi Sunak's first Conservative Party conference as leader and prime minister.

The Conservatives will be hoping to grapple back control of its conference in Manchester, which has been dominated by leaks regarding the northern phase of HS2 - which Sky News understands will be scrapped in the coming days.

While Number 10 says no decisions have been made, it is thought the section of the high-speed rail project between Birmingham and Manchester will now be shelved.

[deadpresidents]

"What emerged in two interviews with Trump, and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisers and confidants, were the outlines of an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world. To carry out a deportation operation designed to remove more than 11 millions people from the country, Trump told me, he would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military, both at the border and inland. He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress, according to top advisers. He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney who doesn't carry out his order to prosecute someone, breaking with a tradition of independent law enforcement that dates from America's founding. He is weighing pardons for every one of his supporters accused of attacking the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, more than 800 of whom have pleaded guilty or been convicted by a jury. He might not come to the aid of an attacked ally in Europe or Asia if he felt that country wasn't paying enough for its own defense. He would gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen."

-- "How Far Would He Go", TIME Magazine's interviews with Donald Trump, April 30, 2024.

I know we're saturated in coverage of Trump and it's easy (and probably better for our mental health) to usually ignore most of the articles when we see them, especially since he's so full of shit and infuriating. But it's also important to recognize that he is going to be the Republican nominee for President and he could absolutely be elected in November, and if you thought his first term was scary and dangerous, you need to understand that in a second term he's going to have people around him that are better prepared and VERY willing to do the crazy shit that he wants to do to this country. They aren't even hiding the fact that they are seeking vengeance against political opponents whom they feel have wronged them, and are ready to fundamentally dismantle the democratic foundations that are barely holding this country together after nearly 250 years.

Just look at what Trump says about the people who he incited to attack the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and halt the peaceful transfer of power that has happened every four years since 1789:

"Trump has sought to recast an insurrectionist riot as an act of patriotism. 'I call them the J-6 patriots,' he say. When I ask whether he would consider pardoning every one of them, he says, 'Yes, absolutely.' As Trump faces dozens of felony charges, including for election interference, conspiracy to defraud the United States, willful retention of national-security secrets, and falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments, he has tried to turn legal peril into a badge of honor."

Oh, and please note that Trump -- a former President of the United States and possible future President of the United States -- said on the record in these interviews with TIME: "There is a definite antiwhite feeling in the country and that can't be allowed either." We are at a point where political leaders are outright saying that in this country again, and it's because of Donald Trump.

So, take the time to recognize that Trump is straight-up telling us the country we're going to be living in if he wins again in November. And understand that your vote matters -- and WHO you vote for matters -- because, as I've been saying for years now, ELECTIONS HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES.

[hyperlexichypatia]

As I keep shouting into the void, pathologizers love shifting discussion about material conditions into discussion about emotional states.

I rant approximately once a week about how the brain maturity myth transmuted “Young adults are too poor to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own” into “Young adults are too emotionally and neurologically immature to move out of their parents’ homes or have children of their own.”

I’ve also talked about the misuse of “enabling” and “trauma” and “dopamine” .

And this is a pattern – people coin terms and concepts to describe material problems, and pathologization culture shifts them to be about problems in the brain or psyche of the person experiencing them. Now we’re talking about neurochemicals, frontal lobes, and self-esteem instead of talking about wages, wealth distribution, and civil rights. Now we can say that poor, oppressed, and exploited people are suffering from a neurological/emotional defect that makes them not know what’s best for themselves, so they don’t need or deserve rights or money.

Here are some terms that have been so horribly misused by mental health culture that we’ve almost entirely forgotten that they were originally materialist critiques.

Codependency What it originally referred to: A non-addicted person being overly “helpful” to an addicted partner or relative, often out of financial desperation. For example: Making sure your alcoholic husband gets to work in the morning (even though he’s an adult who should be responsible for himself) because if he loses his job, you’ll lose your home. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/opinion/codependency-addiction-recovery.html What it’s been distorted into: Being “clingy,” being “too emotionally needy,” wanting things like affection and quality time from a partner. A way of pathologizing people, especially young women, for wanting things like love and commitment in a romantic relationship.

Compulsory Heterosexuality What it originally referred to: In the 1980 in essay "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence," https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/493756 Adrienne Rich described compulsory heterosexuality as a set of social conditions that coerce women into heterosexual relationships and prioritize those relationships over relationships between women (both romantic and platonic). She also defines “lesbian” much more broadly than current discourse does, encompassing a wide variety of romantic and platonic relationships between women. While she does suggest that women who identify as heterosexual might be doing so out of unquestioned social norms, this is not the primary point she’s making. What it’s been distorted into: The patronizing, biphobic idea that lesbians somehow falsely believe themselves to be attracted to men. Part of the overall “Women don’t really know what they want or what’s good for them” theme of contemporary discourse.

Emotional Labor What it originally referred to: The implicit or explicit requirement that workers (especially women workers, especially workers in female-dominated “pink collar” jobs, especially tipped workers) perform emotional intimacy with customers, coworkers, and bosses above and beyond the actual job being done. Having to smile, be “friendly,” flirt, give the impression of genuine caring, politely accept harassment, etc. https://weld.la.psu.edu/what-is-emotional-labor/ What it’s been distorted into: Everything under the sun. Everything from housework (which we already had a term for), to tolerating the existence of disabled people, to just caring about friends the way friends do. The original intent of the concept was “It’s unreasonable to expect your waitress to care about your problems, because she’s not really your friend,” not “It’s unreasonable to expect your actual friends to care about your problems unless you pay them, because that’s emotional labor,” and certainly not “Disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to be visibly disabled in public, because witnessing a disabled person is emotional labor.” Anything that causes a person emotional distress, even if that emotional distress is rooted in the distress-haver’s bigotry (Many nominally progressive people who would rightfully reject the bigoted logic of “Seeing gay or interracial couples upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public” fully accept the bigoted logic of “Seeing disabled or poor people upsets me, which is emotional labor, so they shouldn’t be allowed to exist in public”).

Battered Wife Syndrome What it originally referred to: The all-encompassing trauma and fear of escalating violence experienced by people suffering ongoing domestic abuse, sometimes resulting in the abuse victim using necessary violence in self-defense. Because domestic abuse often escalates, often to murder, this fear is entirely rational and justified. This is the reasonable, justified belief that someone who beats you, stalks you, and threatens to kill you may actually kill you.

What it’s been distorted into: Like so many of these other items, the idea that women (in this case, women who are victims of domestic violence) don’t know what’s best for themselves. I debated including this one, because “syndrome” was a wrongful framing from the beginning – a justified and rational fear of escalating violence in a situation in which escalating violence is occurring is not a “syndrome.” But the original meaning at least partially acknowledged the material conditions of escalating violence.

I’m not saying the original meanings of these terms are ones I necessarily agree with – as a cognitive liberty absolutist, I’m unsurprisingly not that enamored of either second-wave feminism or 1970s addiction discourse. And as much as I dislike what “emotional labor” has become, I accept that “Women are unfairly expected to care about other people’s feelings more than men are” is a true statement.

What I am saying is that all of these terms originally, at least partly, took material conditions into account in their usage. Subsequent usage has entirely stripped the materialist critique and fully replaced it with emotional pathologization, specifically of women. Acknowledgement that women have their choices constrained by poverty, violence, and oppression has been replaced with the idea that women don’t know what’s best for themselves and need to be coercively “helped” for their own good. Acknowledgement that working-class women experience a gender-and-class-specific form of economic exploitation has been rebranded as yet another variation of “Disabled people are burdensome for wanting to exist.”

Over and over, materialist critiques are reframed as emotional or cognitive defects of marginalized people. The next time you hear a superficially sympathetic (but actually pathologizing) argument for “Marginalized people make bad choices because…” consider stopping and asking: “Wait, who are we to assume that this person’s choices are ‘bad’? And if they are, is there something about their material conditions that constrains their options or makes the ‘bad’ choice the best available option?”

[firefly-fez]

torn between getting a good night’s sleep or getting up at 4am to watch the P4A.......my insomnia has been acting up the past few nights which now that i think about it is a lil suspicious...*checks calandar* ahh yep. the luteal phase strikes again. goddamn menstrual cycle.

well, if I’m doomed to have bad sleep anyway...

[georges-left-ear]

I want to talk about Neil Gaiman from the perspective of a survivor of SA.

I am a trans/ gender fluid person, a survivor of R*pe, and a diehard Good Omens fan. And I have been struggling to cope with and process the horrific things that Neil Gaiman has done. I don’t get a lot of engagement from the Good Omens fandom. I’m mostly a lurker here, TikTok, Twitter, and BlueSky and AO3. But I feel like I need to say something, and Im saying it here so I can share without a character limit. And then I’m going to take a break for a while because my mental health can’t handle the chaos anymore.

I read the Vulture article and I was of course horrified and disgusted and repulsed. The things he did to those women made me absolutely sick. But I’ll tell you what, as a survivor, I have been way more triggered by the online reaction to these allegations than I ever expected to be.

I am struggling, because while I unquestioningly stand with his victims and hope they get the full weight of justice they deserve, I am grieving. I am not reacting the way I would have expected myself to react to this news, and I haven’t since July when the story first broke. I would have expected to react the same way I did when JK Rowling exposed her horrific transphobia. I took a pretty hardline stance that any engagement with Harry Potter, even through fandom and etsy purchases, kept her relevant and sent the message that you too were transphobic. As a gender queer person, I now have an extremely hard time enjoying Harry Potter anymore even thought it was overwhelmingly influential on my life. I would not have met my husband without HP!

So why don’t I feel the same way about Good Omens? I am a victim of R*pe, myself, so why haven’t these allegations made it difficult to enjoy this story? In fact, all I want to do right now is actually watch the show! Or read the book, or fanfiction, or watch my favorite fan edits. I’m actually reaching out to it more. My instinct ever since July has been to clutch the story to my chest, white knuckled, and crying to myself in the shower, “No, no, no, no. Please, please, please. Not this. Not this too. Please don’t go.”

The answer is I don’t know. I… I don’t know why I’m reacting this way. It is something I will have to work through with my therapist for sure. And I feel absolutely horrible for it. But I do know that folks on Twitter and TikTok telling me that nobody cares about my feeling and saying that nothing matters at all except his victims has been extremely triggering - more so than any discussion of his acts. And I know that I will need a long time to work through it, and that I may never get over it.

I also know that two things can be true at once. We can be supportive of his victims and understand that what Neil Gaiman’s fans are going through is ALSO a collective trauma that deserves time and space to process. Because he violated us too. He violated our trust and our perceptions of reality, and that is much more traumatic than people give it credit for. Demanding that his fans just give up the stories and communities that may have been the only thing keeping some of these people alive at one point completely cold turkey is cruel and heartless. Some people may be able to do that. They may be able to not care for a while and may even need that. People deserve time and grace to grieve and come to terms with what is going on in their own ways.

I know that some of these folks mean well, but the argument that nobody cares about fans feelings is not looking at the whole picture and feels like just a way to discredit and belittle fandoms in a new way. Because this is NOT breaking news! This story originally broke back in July, and the fandom rallied behind his victims en mass! They have recently raised thousands of dollars to donate to Take Back The Night, which is amazing! This most recent article and fandom meltdown is just rehashing everything that we said last summer. So my then questions are:

When CAN we grieve? When CAN we talk about how we are feeling? When CAN we reach out to our community and collectively heal from the trauma that we are facing as well? And not fear that some self righteous ass hole on the internet is going to bully them for not being a good enough feminist. And do NOT sit there on your performative high horse and tell us that what we are going through is not as bad as R*pe. We fucking know that. I certainly fucking know that. But it is still bad, and it does deserve recognition too. It is extremely unhealthy to pretend that this news is not also a noteworthy trauma to his fans. And gaslighting them by telling them that their heartbreak and grief is problematic is just fucking mean.

Neil’s fans deserve grace and compassion too.

EDIT: here is the link to the GoFundMe mentioned above! You can still donate!

[drdemonprince]

sorry to send you something about a post that's a month old, but I saw your post about talking about sexist oppression in terms of agab and I agree that that's a bad way to frame things, but in terms of reproductive healthcare there's a big difference between not having access to sperm banking and abortion bans and forced pregnancy. trans women are not personally affected by those, and they are more physically dangerous and life ruining. so I think the idea that any and every sexist oppression you experience trans women experience worse is wrong. most of the time, yes, that's true, but there's at least one big exception in my opinion and in the opinions of my transfem friends who I've talked about this kind of stuff with

you understand that trans women are forcibly sterilized in order to change their gender marker in a majority of countries in the world, right. Not having any control over your own reproductive abilities, and literally no health care centers that are made for you, is a massive structural issue. there is obviously massive misogynistic discrimination with regard to reproductive care that cis women and transmisogyny exempt people face, but they have an entire network in most countries of women's reproductive health care centers that cater to addressing that gap, and the massive structural injustices faced by trans women have essentially no resources devoted to addressing them at all. there is no need to be competitive about this. It is really important to note that as bad as women and trans misogyny exempt trans people have it, there's a degree of violence and erasure faced by trans women that avails them to even fewer options.

[avelera]

Ugh, sorry, one last political point because it’s the day for it and this is bugging me.

Democrats and people on the left in the US have got to knock it off with this whole, “All Trump voters are obviously stupid” thing.

I’m sure it’s satisfying to believe, but it is simply not true, and making assumptions about your opponents that aren’t true is how you lose elections.

Half of the voting population of this country is not stupid and it is ludicrous to insist on believing that. Trump voters include doctors, lawyers, business owners, people with PhDs and graduate degrees, and people who attend college courses for fun. They are, unfortunately for many of us including yours truly, our parents and relatives and I at least know for a fact in those cases that they are well educated, well traveled people.

Assuming these people are just stupid and uninformed is, in fact, stupid. It a simplistic view of the world that is going to make your platforms lose if you embrace it and refuse to look deeper.

In practice, people engage in politics because they want the greatest happiness and prosperity for the largest number of people that they care about.

Everything after that is just haggling over price.

For example, the Left/Democrats might believe that the great amount of happiness and prosperity is brought to the largest number of people they care about when an advanced degree is available to everyone without leaving them in crippling debt, when people can age with social services that allow them dignity, when billionaires and companies cannot exploit their workers, and when peace and just causes are allowed to flourish around the world, including the education and enfranchisement of women, and the long term health of our planet. I personally believe that brings long term prosperity to us all.

Left and Right wing voters right now both probably agree that everyone is happier and more prosperous if they can afford a house and have a job that covers their needs and then some. How to get to that is the sticking point that they disagree on.

Right wing voters also want prosperity for themselves and those they care for and what they disagree on with the Left is how to achieve that. I’m not going to go into their platforms here because the whole point of this post is not assuming things about your opponents.

Now in order to persuade people to hold more Left leaning views, you need to make the case for why what you care about is a thing that they should care about and, more importantly, how it enhances the happiness and prosperity of them and those they care about.

Otherwise, you are asking them to vote against their own interests, which no one engages in politics to do, at least not on purpose (even if it is the ultimate outcome in many cases).

If you don’t care about making this argument to opposite side, then fine, you’ve already lost and you deserve to keep losing elections.

You deserve to lose because you’re not making a case for why anyone should support your causes in order to gain happiness and prosperity for themselves and those they care about, including expanding the field of people they care about, and it is ludicrous to expect people to do that without being persuaded either intellectually or emotionally.

This is what finding common ground and building coalitions is about, even if you don’t agree on every point. And if you self isolate and stick to your purity, you deserve to lose because politics is about how we govern large groups of people towards a common goal that, ultimately, is best simplified as the goal of their greatest happiness and prosperity.

Good faith politics is negotiating over what that means. Because resources are finite we can’t all get everything we want all at once. And not everyone agrees on everything so you need to prioritize the best possible allotment of happiness and prosperity for the short and long term, and that’s when we get into the nitty gritty of all the horse trading that happens in politics etc etc.

And you get into things like billionaires having outsized ability to enact their own happiness and prosperity but here’s the thing, many people especially on the right go along with those views because they believe (rightfully or not) that those goals will increase their own happiness and prosperity as well and if you don’t agree you’ve got to explain to them intellectually or emotionally why that is and provide and alternate platform or path for them to gain it that is more effective by at least some measure of that value.

Anyway, at the risk of this becoming a political science thesis from someone who isn’t a political scientist, just an amateur academic, tl;dr please knock it off with assuming everyone who disagrees with you is stupid, it is a losing proposition and it doesn’t get us anywhere near the goals we want to achieve politically, ie, the greatest happiness and long term prosperity of the people we care about.

[ultfreakme]

So.

I finished She-ra.

I wanted to watch it because I realized I rarely watched anything with a female-centric cast and I especially didn't interact with sapphic content despite being sapphic. Abundance of cishet male-specific stories and a love for action-adventure led me to not exploring the latter in stories centering women because I had my own biases. I didn't think there were nearly enough action-adventure stories centering women out there in comparison to men. I just gave into convenience. Also I'll be real, internalized misogyny.

She-ra was so breathtaking and impactful because close to a decade after watching Legend of Korra and the beginning of Korrasami, I got to watch a fully-explored lesbian relationship on-screen with all the action and adventure I wanted.

I saw too much of myself in all the characters. In Glimmer & Angella's mother-daughter bickering, in Catra's insecurities, in Mermista's distance and aversion to people but still wanting companionship. I saw me in bits and pieces across all these girls and women.

It's a rare moment for a POC queer woman like me to truly see myself anywhere. My identity is often considered rare enough to be mythic (although queer POC are fucking everywhere lbr).

I remember being an eight-year old, and watching The Little Mermaid for the first time. I was mesmerized, I sung "Part of Your World" and re-enacted in my tiny apartment with only enough space for a bed and a cupboard and nothing else where my entire family were. I'd sing it on top of my lungs and then I'd look in the mirror and see brown skin and black hair and the spell of being a mermaid underwater would break.

Then fast-forward to 2024, I see She-Ra and her magical princess friends say they need to recruit a powerful Sea Princess to their war efforts. I am excited only because my fascination for mermaids has never really gone away. Then our main crew arrive and what do I see?

A brown woman, a woman with my skin tone and my eyes and my wavy kind of hair. She's stand-offish and a little emo, and she controls the ocean. She can switch her legs for fins and swim!! Suddenly I'm eight again.

I also remember watching The Swan Princess for the first time and feeling strange butterflies every time I saw Odette in her beautiful white gown. I didn't know then that girls could like girls, all I had was this feeling. A buttery, soft feeling where I wanted to sit beside her and see her smile. As I grew up I understood it was me being attracted to her and thinking "there's no love story showing the way I love".

Enter Catra and Adora. I felt a silly kind of nostalgia seeing Catra in love with a magical girl in gold and white.

I could go ON AND ON with all these little details where bits of me were in the show. It made me a little less lonely, and made me a lot more hopeful. Seeing yourself in media is important. Obviously you don't need it to empathize with a character or understand them but seeing parts of your own experience on-screen is a different kind of high. Like, like woah I can be a protagonist like that? I don't need to erase myself?

A story which treated parts of me- all the good and the bad parts- with kindness and gave it all a happy ending. I am so used to reading tragedy, expecting cruelty from even fantasy that I truly treasure stories with hope.

This show gave me that. I have been doing pretty bad in terms of mental health for months, maybe over a year actually. This was a nice reprieve and I hope the message of the story sticks with me, and that I start 2025 stronger and braver.

[taliabhattwrites]

Less Fearmongering about Testosterone, Please, Or: There is no "Boy HRT"/"Girl HRT" Dichotomy

Hello folks, I'm a trans woman and I'm on testosterone gel.

As an immigrant to a regime that is currently setting trans standards of care on fire, there is no way I can acquire any of the drugs I need to put in my body through the official channels. I've been on E monotherapy (weekly injections, no T-blocker, works out really cheap and I have a few years' worth stockpiled) for a while now, and started T-gel about a year ago.

We initially grabbed it because my wife was interested in microdosing and I decided to do so with her (though she's on injections now). Most feminizing HRT regimes nuke our T levels to lower than the healthy range for cis women, and that frankly isn't good and can lead to various health issues. T is, ultimately, just a hormone, and even if I had too much of it in the past, I still need some of it to be healthy. One noticeable effect for me is that it's helped a lot with my energy levels.

In terms of acquisition, T is actually relatively abundant compared to E because a lot of cis men buy and take steroids, while most cis women who need E are just getting it prescribed by their doctors without much fuss. Our community is the only one that really has a need for E-compounders, while the population of people who consume steroids is way higher.

Funnily, our biggest challenge in acquiring the gel was just finding a forum that would point us to a gel supplier instead of just insisting that "Gel doesn't lead to enough gains, bro! Here just buy these injections." All very well-intentioned advice, of course, but that was very much not my goal and not what I needed.

Where I am, it's legal to purchase and own T, just not to sell it. T possession is not particularly harshly cracked down upon, given that its use amongst a certain crowd is basically an open secret. Gauge your level of risk but ultimately, the official policy on trans existence is discouraging transition and making it harder for us to be able to change our sex. A friend from Germany showed me this extract that explicitly advocates for therapy to dissuade bodily transition:

It's from the guidelines for transition-related care by the association of German health insurances!

If you can get it from a doctor, good. Do that and don't forget you'll constantly have to advocate for yourself. Even if you can, however, you should frankly have your back-up options sorted out, because we live in times increasingly hostile to transitional care, and we all need to have fallbacks.

Maybe the world will eventually become less trans-eliminationist, but in the meantime, transition is always going to carry with it a certain level of risk. All I can really advise is to take charge of your own bodily autonomy, to decide how you want to shape your sex, and if you feel like you can't currently do that, to start making plans for when you eventually can. That kept me going for five years in the closet, and eventually paid off.

Good luck, and death before detransition.

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"Emotions are not inherently masculine⁠ or inherently feminine⁠.  We all have emotions, and there aren’t any inherently developmental differences between people who are identified as, or who identify themselves as, boys and girls that effect the ability to have feelings.  But in many cultures, children are taught and learn to express or repress these emotions based on gender⁠ stereotypes.  Children assigned male at birth are often taught they need to be strong and stoic in order to protect their loved ones, that sadness or fear is unmanly.  Adults and peers alike typically reinforce these beliefs by shaming gender-nonconforming children who deviate from masculinity and boys for expressing vulnerability.  I’m sure you’ve heard someone you know try to shut down or shame a guy for crying.  Researchers have found that boys start to internalize these lessons and become less emotionally expressive as they start school.  If left unchecked, emotional repression can have serious detrimental consequences.  In 2019, men in the US died by suicide 3.63 times more than women, even though women are much more likely to be diagnosed with depression.

This is the context in which we have to break down the term “toxic masculinity,” which the right has successfully warped to the extent that this phrase has become a buzzword often associated with misogynist depictions of feminists.  The “toxic” in this phrase does not imply that any gender expression⁠ that encompasses masculinity is inherently bad or corrosive.  It’s referring to the collective set of social experiences that teach men to express themselves and their emotions in a way that is ultimately toxic to them and others as a way to achieve some artificial ideal of “manliness”.  These social pressures are so harmful that mental health professionals have had to identify different symptoms of depression in people trying adhere to a stoic masculine ideal.  You don’t have to use the phrase “toxic masculinity” when you’re trying to open up to someone or talk about why you have difficulty expressing yourself.  I find that sociological terms don’t serve me well when I’m trying to talk about my own emotions.  But it’s important to understand that the way we teach people how to “do gender” in our society can be actively harmful and keep us from experiencing happiness."

Ellis Schwamm, The Benefits of Being Vulnerable With Other Queer Guys

[cardentist]

"yes trans mascs experience transphobia, but there's no such thing as trans mascs experiencing bigotry Specifically Related to them being men/from being related to men"

my mom, after some time sorting her feelings and sifting through trans resources, was accepting of my being a trans person. it took work, but it happened. she sought out trans media from trans people, she took initiative to inform other family members and put herself between me and them.

and she completely refused to even start the process of Maybe getting me on testosterone for 10 years, until I aged out of being covered by her health insurance and couldn't afford to do it myself.

Specifically And Entirely because she was terrified that testosterone was going to make me an angry, violent person. that it was going to, in her own word, "give me roid rage."

for years she made vague pantomimes about eventually seeing about transitioning, but That reasoning would still come up no matter how I tried to explain it to her otherwise.

I am not a particularly violent person, if maybe stubborn. but that didn't matter. what Mattered is that my mother had a preconceived notion of what testosterone does, what Masculinity Does, and that notion was an inherently negative, scary one.

and Because Of That I was denied access to resources That I Need for Years. something that has carried over into the rest of my adult life.

and I see sentiments like hers online, even and sometimes Especially in trans spaces, all the time.

this vision of men as inherently violent, of masculinity as inherently dangerous, and the onus placed in the laps of Trans Men (and often, on Trans Boys) to diminish and shrink themselves to Prove that they're non-threatening enough to be tolerated.

and it bares pointing out that this Isn't just something that affects trans men. trans Women are just as affected by this association with maleness as an inherently corrupting factor. and so to are butch women and nonbinary people presented as violent and scary.

likewise, I see Similar sentiments pushed at butches and trans mascs that it's their job to Protect other people within the queer community, that image of violence and anger filtered through a softer light designating their Use. you're Allowed to be a Scary Masculine Creature as long as you dedicate yourself to protecting the weaker frailer other (which is, you know. Sexist And Weird).

but it's like. people don't Want to think about different kinds of trans and gnc people having overlapping experiences, so instead people like to decide which Kind of people are allowed to have this experience and cut other sorts of people out of those conversations.

it's not about what a particular person's gender or presentation Is, it's how that person Is Perceived and the way that they're treated Because Of that perception. sometimes this transphobia that fears masculinity looks like a perception of scary men trying to pretend to be women, sometimes it looks like a perception of women Becoming scary men, and everything that lies in between (with combinations therein).

finding a term that is used to describe this is Useful not just for giving trans mascs a way to talk about their experiences without encroaching on other conversations about transness. but Also in giving us words to describe a specific phenomenon that Can affect All trans people (and gnc people, and genderqueer people, etc), but that is difficult for us to recognize as a shared experience because people seem to think that sharing experiences is either impossible or a bad thing.

[cleapallea]

master list + More

𐙚 𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗦𐙚

& how you can make income! 🤑

Is empty house means empty wallet?

There are 12 sectors (zodiac sign + house) in astrology that reflect different aspects of your life. At this point, if you have planets in 12 houses, a planet being in that house as well as the rulers means you should have more focus in that area. For example, too many planets (2) in a tenth house with Venus aspects or rulers (Taurus and Libra) signifies that your career might be related to Venus qualities such as modeling, rebranding, or makeup (products, tutorials, etc.). Hence, I know some of you might ask: So what to do if none?

Empty Planet in 1st house

Aries: self image, rebranding and investing

Empty Planet in 2nd house

Taurus: depends on your own efforts. Kinda Similiar to 1st.

Empty Planet in 3rd House

Gemini: Person's activity, and investment (education, training and self development -professional)

Example: Graphic Designer, Artworks related, Freelance writer and etc

Empty Planet in 4th house

Cancer: Anything related to fostering homes, and building connections (social network)

Example: adopting a dog (female), and let them grow after that you can sell her puppies. Or you can build a pets/ poultry suppliers.

Empty Planet in 5th house

Leo: Anything related to pleasure, wholesome stuff, makes you happy and alive, self-expression, recreation, and innovation.

Example: Build a program (school, playground, or be a Yaya for a day) and alike

Empty Planet in 6th house

Virgo: anything related to health, wellness, and daily routines

Example: Be secretary, write a blog about health and wellness, Be a Yoga instructor, or Drugs Cashier in some malls, teacher and more.

Empty Planet in 7th house

Libra: anything related to partnership, business and interest in society as a whole.

Example: Be an event planner, teacher, or social media influencer starts to sell your self in social media.

Empty Planet in 8th house

Scorpio: money houses, long term success or growth career, real state investments and financial portfolios

Example: rentals of your personal collection like shoes, etc.

Empty Planet in 9th house

Sagittarius: Travel, higher learning, personal philosophy, exploration and intellect

Example: You may consider writing a story or list of quotes on a known website and look for a small publisher until you get recognized. You can also Teach foreign ppl in diff countries to use other languages.

Empty Planet in 10th house

Capricorn: public image, career aspiration and achievement, and more on ppl oriented.

Example: vlogger, streamer, content creator, YouTuber and alike

Empty Planet in 11th house

Aquarius: humanitarian and personal networks. Anything that may show your passion and interest in specific content.

Example: musician, or be friends with famous people (they can help you a lot), then let them see your talents. I've known a lot of Aquarius placements tend to be very talented. You just have to precise and be stick with good purpose cause double karma occurs if you're not.

Empty Planet in 12th house

Pisces: Mysterious side of humanity, mind, and life

Example: be a tarot reader, practice gambling, or any creative outlets.

✎ There are no such things as empty planets. The empty planets are ruled by the "lord" or "zodiac signs" inside them. Although I don't really believe it's not your main focus but more in IT'S YOUR HIDDEN GOAL AND SUCCESS, I've heard a lot of women who have their second house empty, but years later become rich due to partnerships, investments in education, and such. We have this called "transitting of each sign."

✎ take note that this is not a dynamic and astrology is about multifaceted interpretation. The question of where and what you can do to make money can vary depending on the whole system of your chart (aside from your energy). For me, I need to see the whole birth chart before I give the exact meaning of it. Every chart is different, so I can't provide full, detailed information about it.

✎You have to look for your MC (signs), Jupiter house +signs (power), Saturn (warnings/challenges occur) and Moon placed (for reminder why you started, why you need to work something like that) if you don't like your moon, then look for your south code. Or if you dont know how to start, look for the (Pluto). Find inspiration in everything :) God bless!

Plagiarism is A crime.

[fatkish]

Demon Child Pt. 12

It had been a few months since the final battle with Muzan. After the battle, the Kakushi helped clean up the town while the surviving slayers healed up. Gyomei had lost a portion of his left leg and now walks with a prosthetic wooden leg. Giyuu’s and Tanjiro’s arms were reattached. Kanao’s vision was restored. Everyone’s injuries were healed. Kyojuro and Sanemi are missing a few fingers. And everyone who manifested a demon slayer mark had their marks sealed, they can no longer use breathing styles. All they can do is total concentration constant.

After everyone was healed, there was a final pillar meeting. After that meeting, the demon slayer corps was disbanded. Mitsuri and Obanai have started to go on dates and moved in together. Kyojuro returned home to his brother and father, they now run a small dojo where they teach swordsmanship. Sanemi and Genya moved in together and have also started a family dojo where they teach women and children self defense. Kanao and Aoi have been studying to become doctors. Giyuu continued to live on his own but was starting to open up. And Tanjiro, Nezuko, Inosuke and Zenitsu moved back to Tanjiro’s old house and lived together.

When Muzan died, the demon half of you died as well. Your health has since been on the decline. You lost half your body weight and nearly died from loss of your demonic half. But Aoi managed to keep you alive and Gyomei has let you move in with him and he helps take care of you. You have trouble moving around and get fatigued very quickly. You’ve lost a significant amount of weight but thanks to Gyomei and Aoi’s diligence, your health has been increasing steadily.

You’re able to speak in full sentences now and you’ve aged a bit. You’re now 8 years old. When you were half demon, your demonic half slowed your aging. Now that it’s gone, your body is struggling to cope with the rapid increase in age. Gyomei has become like a parental figure for you and has adopted you. You live with him now full time and he brings you to visit the others. You’ve had to do lots of physical therapy to gain back your muscles and strength.

After half a year, Mitsuri and Obanai got married. Sanemi was the best man, Nezuko was the bridesmaid. Gyomei was the officiant. The wedding was beautiful and was in spring. They got married on Mt. Fujikasane, underneath all the wisteria. The wedding was beautiful and the reception had a bunch of food. Mitsuri and Obanai were so happy. Everyone wished them well.

Moving forward was very difficult. There were many goodbyes you weren’t ready to say. With peaceful times now abundant, you struggled with facing an uncertain future. With everyone now moving on with their lives, doing their own thing, a small part of you felt an overwhelming sadness. Maybe it was that you felt like everyone you loved was leaving you. Maybe all the change was starting to affect you. You somewhat believed that you’d always be fighting demons, that everything would stay the same. But life is always changing. Nothing ever stays the same.

As you grew older and the years went by, you started to feel lonely, despite Gyomei saying that you’re always welcome to live with him. Your friends were all out there doing their own thing. They had their own lives to live, and you really were happy for them. But something inside of you was breaking and twisting itself into something dark. What no one knew, was that your demon cells didn’t all die. Your demon cells went dormant when Muzan died. They are still alive, just waiting for the time to reawaken.

After many years you came to terms with your feelings and talked it out with everyone. They reassured you that they would always be there for you whenever you needed them. You all promised to have annual get togethers each year as a means to keep in touch and bond over shared memories. As time went on, you learned to live on your own and made a life for yourself, writing stories from each of the pillars and others. You wrote about the adventures that everyone had and published them as a historical/sci-fi novel series. You even accepted your last name, Kibutsuji.

You grew up and you eventually got married and had children. Unaware that your demon cells were passed onto your children. Your novels became popular and sold well. The only people who knew the truth about the novels being true stories were the demon slayer corps. You made sure to throughly document each breathing style and how to properly use breathing styles. You preserved Shinobu’s poison knowledge as well. You made sure that the notes of the breathing styles were well maintained and they became a family heirloom.

~112 years later~

It’s the modern day and everything is peaceful. In a small house in a neighborhood, a little boy was rummaging through his great grandparent, y/n’s, things when he found an old book. It had a bunch of flowers drawn in it and a bunch of writing. As he looked through the pages, he saw a picture of a blue spider lily. He was fascinated by the picture and became enamored with it. Unaware of his family’s dark history with the flower. He kept the book and put everything back the way it was. This little boy suffers from asthma and was unaware of what exactly it was that he had found.

The book this little boy had found was Muzan’s personal journal that he used to write the results and processes of his experiments in. These experiments that he conducted were in attempts to recreate the medicine that turned him into a demon. This journal contained the notes of the doctor that created the medicine, the notes that Muzan took in order to hopefully make the same experimental medicine. After the battle in the Infinity castle, y/n had combed over the wreckage and found their uncle’s journal among the wreckage and secretly kept it

As time went on he began to study the book and became fascinated by the sciences written in it. He later began to conduct experiments in his room as he grew older. He made his own notes and learned the old ways of making medicine. He also began to grow medical herbs and made remedies with them. He learned as much as he could about science, medicine and chemistry. Despite his sister’s remarks that he was a nerd. As an adult in college, he later became a scientist and made a friend. He had told his friend about the blue spider lily and together, they began their search for it.

Eventually they would find the blue spider lily, but the lilies died due to a mistake in their care. However the boy kept a few and took them home so he could experiment with them. He followed the instructions and notes that were in the old journal. Unaware of what he was making. He began to test the medicine on sickly mice, recording their responses to it. He made sure that each mouse had the same illness, Asthma. After numerous attempts and experiments, he finally succeeded in curing one of the mice’s Asthma. Recreating the drug, the man cured the rest of the mice. Seeing the mice cured, he foolishly decided to take the medicine himself.

He took the medicine and documented the results. Unaware of what was happening to him. The dormant demon cell passed down from his great grandparent, y/n, were starting to awaken. As his breathing improved and he grew stronger, he documented everything. After a few weeks, he was shocked when he discovered that he was cured, but he could no longer go in the sunlight. He had been drawing his blood to examine it. He made sure to properly store his blood so it wouldn’t spoil. He hadn’t realized that each of the cured mice had disappeared, turned to ash when the sunlight came through the window.

Having used the last of the blue spider lilies that he took, he realized his dilemma. He also felt an intense hunger. He waited til it was nighttime and went and bought a lot of raw meat. He got home and devoured it, but something just wasn’t right. He noticed that the people he passed by on his way to and from the convenience store smelled really good. Despite having eaten the raw meat, he was still hungry. He tried as hard as he could to stifle his hunger, he became a recluse, he avoided people. But he just couldn’t fight the need to eat.

One night, he went out and followed a drunkard from a bar. With his newfound strength and speed, he knocked the guy out and brought him back to his house where he ate the man. He made sure to clean up the mess, but as he was cleaning, he saw the box containing his great grandparent’s things. He remembered that y/n, his grandparent, wrote novels that they always insisted had some truth to them. Cracking open the box, he began to read the novels. After reading them, he realized what had happened. He became a demon. He became the new demon king.

Looking through the various memorabilia, he found a picture of his grandparent and a bunch of other people, the writing on the back of the paper said ‘the demon slayer corps’. On it was a list of names. He began to search through everything and came to a conclusion. The only way for him to die now, was to walk into the sun. As he put everything back, he accidentally cut himself on a broken blade. His cut healed, so he didn’t think anything of it. So he waited until sunrise, where he would step out into the sunlight. He didn’t wish to become a monster, and he didn’t wish to hurt anyone else.

So when the sunrise came, he walked outside and burned to death. Unaware that his blood was still on the broken blade. The very blade of which his own unsuspecting sister would cut herself on. Unaware of things, his sister simply cleaned the cut and bandaged it. But it was too late. The dormant cells inside of her slowly began to awaken from the small amount of blood. The process was very slow, enough that it went unnoticed. Until it was too late. Unlike her brother, the sister was mean spirited and rude. She didn’t care much for others unlike her empathetic brother. When she realized her newfound strength and abilities, she used them to her advantage. She ate people and became an uncaring monster, the new demon queen. Thus the cycle began anew.

Tag list: @shortneko @tomiokasecretlover @jspidey5 @nousija

[aquaglow]

one of the biggest advices I can give girls & women who are looking to improve their health through nutrition this year is this: be very suspicious of people claiming that they have the recipe to "balancing your hormones" or "flushing out toxins" and this type of discourse. because these are serious health claims often thrown around to sell products that will actually most likely fuck up your health. if you have an issue with your hormones, you're gonna find out through an endocrinology exam, not from a tiktoker doing an ad.

and if you want to use food as medicine, I highly recommend it! but do your own research, your own readings, your own decisions. I'm not one of those people who think we need to visit a doctor everytime we want to make a personal decision regarding our health, but also you shouldn't just go around taking supplements just because it sounds like a good, what-harm-can-it-do idea, and throwing around medical terms you know nothing about just because you see them being used often on social media.

and yes, I am including real doctors in this. real doctors get paid to do ads on social media too, just like regular influencers, and that money is what will determine what they recommend, not what's the best advice.

(I once watched a med professor say that every doctor who does paid advertisement on any medicine or supplement or anything like that on social media should be chastised, because not a single medicine fits everyone, and they know it, but still they advertise them for everyone who sees it.)

moreover, if you want to improve your nutrition, food will always always always be better than taking a pill or mixing a powder. those pretty multi-vitamins can make for good instagram stories but you may be not only losing money but actively doing the opposite of what you expect, and harming your health.

DO 👏 YOUR 👏 RESEARCH 👏 LADIES 👏

[l-in-the-light]

Trafalgar Law: fear of closeness and touch part 2, the extended edition

Writing another post about it, because I have a lot of thoughts I need to organize for myself. This time it will be more like my interpretation about Law and his relationships with people than about the touch itself. And also I forgot one of the most crucial scenes about the topic (because ofc I would forget something so important), so I will start with it:

The last touch he remembers from Flevance is hiding under the pile of corpses, cold dehumanized bodies, treated like trash. No one wanted to touch them, just like no one wanted to be touched by Law. How poetic that Law escaped Flevance with a death sentence while hiding among the dead, because he will be treated like he's dead to the world from now on.

This reminds me of a manga I once read, Shigeshoushi (The Embalmer). It's about a guy whose job is embalming the dead, and he is ostracized, feared and refused by people as a result. Contact with death and dead bodies is taboo in Shinto and folk culture of Japan in general. If you think it's a thing of the past, I reccommend to watch Okuribito (Departures), it's really good and this topic is at the heart of the movie.

Anyway, back to the manga, warning for spoilers. Situation escalates to the point when the only human touch the guy can get is that of him handling the corpses for his job and that really messes up with his mental health. His despair leads him to engage himself in risky situations just to get by, casual sexual encounters with strangers become the only form of intimacy he can get and he soon gets addicted to it, but it still lacks the emotional warmth and love he desperately craves, so it's never enough for him. Of course to even get those encounters he has to lie about his job and whenever his lie gets exposed and he is confronted about it, forced to listen to all those women blaming him, feeling disgusted by what he forced on them (it was never forced, but suddenly it's unwanted after they learn he embalms dead bodies every day), and it just triggers and deepens his trauma.

I wonder if you can tell where I'm going with this comparison. Law is definitely as starved for touch and love as the main protagonist is. Still, I don't believe Law would become hypersexual (tho that's just my personal impression, especially after he so blatantly refused Monett), but most importantly unlike the main character Law would definitely not desperately beg for the touch. It's just not how Law is, he doesn't like to impose himself on others if he absolutely doesn't have to. Not to mention he can't bear asking openly for help or for anything really, not after the Vergo incident. It was the last time he ever begged for something.

Law seems to be the type to neglect his own needs to the point that he makes stupid and reckless decisions based on his fear of losing people (callback to Wano and imprisoned Hearts). When people dear to him are in danger, his first instinct is to rush and help them unless he's completely immobilized. That's the level of "prioritizing other people's safety and needs" he believes in, he would do it every time, but he hates when people do it for him. Mostly because he deeply believes Corazon got hurt because of him, and Corazon gave him all that love Law was starving for. And Law believes Cora-san finally died for it.

Add his trauma of expecting people to not want to be touched by him into the equation. That's why he has problems expressing his own need for love (and touch) from that point onward. He acts so tough, doesn't allow himself to show weakness and will definitely never ask for love, he learned his lesson on that.

But what about Heart Pirates? They love him! He clearly protects and deeply cares for them, but in each scene he is with them, not counting Bepo, he keeps them at a distance. I do believe Law treats his crew more or less on equal terms, he favours freedom after all, but their relationship is restricted by his fear and makes it significantly more asymmetrical than the one Luffy has with his crew. I do think Penguin and Shachi are more important to Law than the rest of his crew, they're best friends, they've formed the Heart Pirates together, but he doesn't allow them to be on touchy feely basis with him. That's reserved for Bepo. Bepo is basically the last safe haven Law allowed himself to have up until Strawhats happened.

Law at Sabaody creates three new bonds with people: with two supernovas and Jean Bart. The latter he takes into his crew and I believe it's because Jean Bart has no other place to go, especially with Marines and Pacifistas running around the island. It's possible Law does it all the time and his crew (beyond the original four) got expanded because of that.

Law's bond with Kid started on a wrong foot, not only Kid judges Law based on prejudice and "bad rep" flying around about him, he also accussed him of lack of manners (triggering a flashback to Vergo), all in Law's hearing range. It's not really surprising later on Law doesn't want to owe Kid a favour by letting Kid take care of the Marines. Law clearly doesn't want to be indebted to someone who feels disgust towards him (I don't think Kid is disgusted by him, but that's what Law thinks at this point). And even after Wano it seems Law made sure that they're even, none is indebted to the other. For Law it was just a temporary alliance, he kept his distance, they didn't end up becoming friends.

Last new bond Law created was with Luffy. It started indirectly at first, Luffy was defending his fishman friend. Things said about Hatchan triggered a trauma response in Law ("Don't come closer! Disgusting! He will spread diseases!"), in my headcanon freezing him in the spot. But Luffy defended his friend and indirectly also Law by punching the Celestial Dragon, in similar fashion to Corazon defending Law by punching the doctors spouting similar prejudice about amber lead syndrome.

Law thanked Luffy for that and he felt safe doing so, after all what Luffy did was never directed at Law himself, but the gratitude must have confused Luffy to no end (Why is that guy thanking me? I didn't do anything for him!). Law didn't mind this bond at this moment exactly because it was so indirect, as a result he allowed himself to interact with Luffy and even took the first step, probably thinking it will lead to nothing. But he would never do it if not for Luffy's indirect impact on Law. If that's the expected level for casual bonds Law has set up, I doubt many occassions appeared for that before. It just shows he avoids people as a general rule, period.

But things changed after they left the auction house. Law is displeased with Kid, only telling him not to order him around and refusing to even talk with him, but his dynamic with Luffy is completely different, he doesn't feel bad about it despite being treated like accomplice in the whole Celestial Dragon incident.

He even allows himself to tease him a bit. There's no bad air between them. It almost feels like Law feels more emotionally available despite them being strangers, or rather exactly because they're strangers here and Law thinks they will also leave as strangers, which gives him the freedom to be more open.

They fought together, mostly by accident, but for Luffy that's enough to already feel a bit attached to Kid and Law. He declares he's after One Piece, implying from now on they will be rivals.

That doesn't earn him any response from Law. In fact, he just smirks and retreats without a word.

There are multiple possible reasons for his reaction here, but one of them is important right now: if Law said anything, he would acknowledge that bond, that of being a rival to Luffy. He didn't want it, in fact he wanted them to remain strangers, with no lingering attachments. That's why, when he got offered Luffy's friendship (disguised as rivalship, mind you), he turns back and retreats.

That's his answer. Later in Amazon Lily he also ends up retreating without even waiting for Luffy to say his thanks.

And how ironic that the next time they see each other it's Law who ends up extending his hand, not once, but twice: first by saving Luffy's life by risking his own, and second time by proposing alliance. I can only imagine Luffy's surprise: he got rejected before, but now it's Law himself proposing it! And what a funny guy he is, he doesn't need to offer friendship, because for Luffy they're already friends, after all didn't Law save his life? Law though just needed help, but wouldn't ask for it directly, because we know he never does that anymore, so instead he offered a bait. Frankly he didn't need to, Luffy would do anything he wanted him to anyway. Luffy ofc thought the alliance is a fun idea, but in the end he accepted it because it's Law who needed it to be an alliance, he wouldn't accept help otherwise. Also alliance felt impersonal and safe, without the need to be emotionally open.

There's so many seperate frames of Law just staring and thinking upon their reunion. He's conflicted. Also at this point their relationship changed, whether Law wanted it or not. He was there when Luffy lost Ace, saw him breaking down, definitely thought they now share something in common: they both lost people who were the dearest to them. I'm also sure he could see through Luffy's smile, he knew there's no way he would be already "okay" after just two years.

Unusual whimsical frame of Luffy. He closed his eyes, not listening to the words spoken, but instead listening to his own heart. He knows he needs to kidnap Caesar, that's what Law asked him to do, but Luffy doesn't just want to do what he's told, he wants to make sure the person he is doing it for is happy. It's a callback to Luffy's deepest regret: leaving Sabo with his family, assuming things would be better this way, without making sure first if that's something that would make Sabo actually happy.

Ever since Luffy does this double-check-for-no-regrets for all of his friends and crewmates. He follows Nami to Arlong Park and waits patiently in case she actually needs help. She questions Kyros' choice and goes to all the way to Rebecca to the castle just to ask her if she's really fine with staying seperated from her dad. And he does it here as well. Would kidnapping Caesar make Law actually happy, Luffy wonders. And probably thinks back to their previous encounter, in Sabaody, and Law's mysterious line after Luffy punched the Celestial Dragon: "Thanks Strawhat, you showed me something interesting". And Luffy found his answer and it's this:

Punching Caesar. Apparently Luffy did something right in Sabaody and he thinks it was about the punching, so he does it again now as well. Ofc he wants to punch Caesar anyway, but he does pause before doing that, he actually doesn't jump for it straightaway, it's AFTER he thinks about it. Luffy decided this is what would make Law actually happy, despite going against the plan. Luffy didn't believe following Law's plan will actually make Law happy, but punching his enemies will.

And yet Law doesn't look happy, but let's look more closely to his body languague. He turns around, doesn't declare his unhappiness directly to Luffy's face, he's making an emotional retreat again despite shouting. He's giving mixed signals. So was Luffy wrong?

Law is trying to hide his smile. Making sure no one notices. He's trying to maintain the distance and remain cold, but seems it's working less and less efficiently.

I will let you decide it for yourselves whether Luffy was right or wrong in the end.

There is more nuance about this I didn't even touch yet, for example the drastic gap between Marines fearing Law and calling him a monster, and Stawhats (minus Luffy), at first fearful and suspicious of Law, but it took them like 5 minutes to change their mind and trust him just like Luffy did.

In Dressrosa Law declares that, deep in his heart, he actually also wants to kick Doflamingo's butt. Luffy doesn't even act surprised upon hearing that. Of course, he knew already, Law didn't even have to say it.

While in Dressrosa Law attempts to break the alliance, send off half the Strawhats to safety and despite barely being able to move himself he takes care of Luffy in the final countdown. Almost like he already treats them like his own crew, keeping them safe. If you ask me, someone got attached. And the pinnacle of it is when Law shares with us that he aims to either live or die with Luffy (not die for him, unlike Luffy's own crew declaring in this arc). That's the best he could offer and he knows how much it's painful when someone dies *for you*, he wouldn't inflict that pain on Luffy again, not when he knows Luffy thinks of him as a friend.

And finally in Wano Law finally opens up more and lashes out at Strawhats, just like he did at Corazon. He no longer feels the need to emotionally distance himself all the time, or keeping it all bottled up behind a stoic cold facade and impersonal "alliance". That's how he shows his worry and affection, he considers them his responsibility in Wano.

He also admits for the very first time his fear of losing people. "The plan isn't worth anyone dying" (in this case - Zoro dying). He allows himself to trust and to be vulnerable.

If you think Law is torn about his growing connection with Strawhats, then you're thinking the same as me. He allowed himself to get attached and he didn't want to initially.

Is it really alright if I touch you too…? (ready to retreat his hand at any moment he senses it's unwanted after all)

His words are often rough and cold, but his actions speak for themselves. He trusts the Strawhats by this point, they're his second crew, and he would do the same for them he would do for his Hearts.

And now he has a problem, he gained more people he is afraid of losing. New friends.

[bluberryfields]

"David is very easy to fall in love with." - Michael Sheen

Hi. How are you? Good, I hope. Okay, so can we talk about just how fucking beautiful David Tennant is? And by “we” I mean “I” and by “talk” I mean “babble incoherently into the void”? Great! I’ll attempt to impose a bit of organization on this just to satisfy my pathological need to inflict structure on words (thanks college/job/brain), but I can’t promise much. Also, there will be A LOT of pictures and gifs. (you’re welcome?)

And this isn’t just because I am deep in the bottomless well of Good Omens fandom and that Crowley is basically the most breathtaking creature that has ever existed. Well, not just because of that.

*cue Aziraphale's "good lord" from 1793*

ANYWAY, like a lot of people, I became a fan of (i.e., fell deeply and irrevocably in love with) DT during his run as the 10th Doctor. He was young and bright and full of just about everything – joy, sorrow, wit – making him incredibly watchable. His look was also so charming: big bouncy rooster comb of hair, absurdly cheeky smile, expressive-as-fuck eyes and eyebrows, and a tall, lanky form that seemed to be made of rubber and the kind of granulated sugar that could only be found in candy from the 90s that are now banned in all first- and second-world countries.

So yeah, I was super into him and his Doctor’s adventures. And I continued to watch him in other projects and still swoon (looking at you, slutty Hamlet)

even at characters where that was not the desired reaction (fuck you, Kilgrave, you delicious monster).

I would also always become a bit (a lot) weak in the knees at his voice regardless of which accent he took on, though always preferring him doing any Scottish brogue because of fucking course.

Roll that tongue, you sexy beast.

But what I want to get into today is just how incredible he looks in the year of 2023.

He’s 52 years old and I am somehow even more attracted to him. Maybe it’s because I am myself older, and my tastes have matured alongside? I certainly do enjoy gray hair way more than I did 10 years ago.

He’s aged incredibly well, probably a combination of good genes and good health, and he’s clearly not clinging to the Hollywood idea of “youth”.

(insert obligatory grumble about the double standards of men being praised for aging and women being demonized…the potentially problematic nature of the term “aging well” in general…acknowledge this with my enlightened brain but ignore this with my slutty heart…fuck the patriarchy, etc. etc.)

He’s still tall and skinny, even gangly at times, all long arms and legs that can move in impossible directions with unfathomable grace.

His face is leaner, that incredible bone structure creating sharper edges that draw the eye. Speaking of the face, he’s got these creases on his forehead and at the corners of his eyes and mouth that are evidence of time spent well: smiling, laughing, living. Makes you want to trace your fingertips along each one.

Oh god that smile? Good lord. It’s weapons grade charm that can also be quite intimidating. Sweet, humble, silly, scary…full spectrum of options here! His shark smile is the definition of “irresistible” in my Dictionary of Delicious Dudes.

I am both proud of and grossed out by my own word choice.

Continuing with that face...the hawkish nose, the dimples you want to drown in, the big eyes, those motherfucking eyebrows...

I could seriously write a whole essay about those eyebrows, but I already give my therapist enough to worry about.

Oh those eyes. “Piercing” is a term usually reserved for blue eyes, but I would argue it applies to DT’s bottomless chocolate pools in that they slice through my heart every damn time.

Honorable mention does go to those Crowley snake eyes because they could have been distracting and diminishing to his overall look, but they absolutely are not.

Such a pretty shade of yellow.

Random tangent to swoon about his hands. For whatever reason, I like checking out a man’s hands, and DT’s got a set that drives me wild. I can’t even really explain why, but I just really like the way he articulates with them. Crowley is a perfect example, what with the miracle snaps, caressing globes, and holding whisky glasses. Yum.

Delicious demon digits

Fresh tangent: How does this fucker look good clean shaven, with stubble, and a goddamn beard? How is that allowed?

He's got a face that makes me wanna take up sculpting

Further, how is his fucking neck so hot? Like, seriously, show me the math. I can’t stop staring at it. And when it’s cloaked in a turtleneck? Please, sir, may I have some more?

Fuuuuuuuck

With no segue whatsoever, I am absolutely obsessed with his hair, across all contexts. Big, bold, blood-red Crowley coifs (especially in Season 2)? Check.

Proper gentleman side part? Check.

Side shave with cartoonishy springy 14th Doctor shock? Check.

Lockdown locks with and without headband? Check!

It’s a goddamn buffet of delicious options.

Oh damn speaking of that 14th Doctor look? Good fucking Christ on a buttery Ritz cracker. The whole DT collection is on display: the hair, the eyes, the bone structure, the smile, the clothes, and even the glasses!

To quote Pam on Archer, “I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now! I mean, not that you would.”

Now that you (I) mention the clothes, I never cease to marvel at how he can wear pretty much anything and look amazing. Stripes, patterns, wild colors, etc. He just always looks…not exactly comfortable, but sort of at ease like the clothes were created with him in mind. And this goes across the spectrum of Casual to Costume to Promotional (e.g., interviews and premieres).

They are almost illegally cute together

We all know by now how ridiculously tight those Crowley pants are and how it influenced his signature serpentine swagger (thank you, Costume department, you’re the real heroes). That said, he and those slinky hips still looks so incredibly natural in them like they came from his actual closet.

Stupid sexy snek

And he pulls off the look of more ridiculous stuff like full Shakespearean costumes or that sad gray-hoodie-black-shorts-and-Wellington-boots combo from the first season of Staged. He somehow gives off the air of “whatever, they’re just clothes, man” while also looking like a damn model.

Georgia is a very lucky woman

Final thoughts: I know DT dislikes talking about how people think he’s so attractive because I’m sure it feels a bit icky if you just want to live your life and do your job. But my guy also clearly understands that he’s not some ghoul who has succeeded on incredible personality and acting chops alone. So, that said, maybe he'll forgive me for posting such a long, rambling, ode to him?