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nowimjustastranger · 5 months ago

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Has Stcmo Ford come across a dimension that alerted him a Stanley was in danger, but he got there, everything seems fine. Keyword “seems”.

And after numerous checks, everything seems like in order. On the surface it just looks like another dimension with Ford, Fiddleford and Stan living together in gravity falls.

But there is just SOMETHING that feels immensely wrong about this dimension.

Like the way that this Stanley and Fiddleford seem a little too overly content with their lives, they aren’t seem to be lost or forgetting things so it can’t be the memory gun. And by the looks of it, the Bill Cipher of this dimension is dead.

In fact the more Stcmo Ford looks into it…

Filbrick is dead, Fiddleford’s wife Emma-May seems to be dead, Shermie is dead, newspapers on about the last few years show that many gang leaders have either gone mysteriously missing or have seemed to have been killed. Jimmy Snakes, Rico, several people who knew Stanley in prison are dead as well. Many people that would be considered a threat have been killed.

There’s something off about this Ford as well, he seems to always be watching Fiddleford and Stanley, the two always were within watch.

Like a wolf watching over his two sheep.

Not entirely sure what era this is happening in, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume it's a "Mystery Trio AU" type situation, so it would be set in the early years in Gravity Falls.

Ford has been in Dimension 1R^86 for three days now and he's nearly at his wits end, he has no idea what the threat is or even where it might come from. He hasn't slept at all either, maintaining constant vigilance of the shack and it's inhabitants.

Ford is currently perched in one of the large trees surrounding the shack, hidden in the branches with a direct line of sight to both entrances. There's been nothing, no activity around the shack within a fifty foot radius. Which is another thing, Ford hasn't spotted so much as a gnome rooting through the trash in the three days he's been watching.

It's... something's not right but he can't put a finger on what.

With a growl, Ford's eyes flick to the icon in the top corner of his hud, selecting it with a thought so the data flooded onto the screen, his proximity sensors online to warn him if anything tries to sneak up on him while he's preoccupied.

D – 1R^86 | 29 yo | COD: Blunt Force Trauma

No change.

Ford exited out of the data with a frustrated huff, he'd done a lot of digging into the deaths that surrounded Stan and the results all pointed toward one Ford Pines being the culprit, but the way that he watched over his brother and Fiddleford so intently made it highly unlikely that he was the threat.

The Ford in this dimension reminded Ford 419"3 of himself, an ambush predator watching and waiting for the opportunity to strike. A wolf that muzzled itself in the presence of it's sheep so they would not be afraid, because despite the wolf's nature, those sharp teeth and claws were never meant for the sheep.

They were for other predators.

Other predators that might also be watching and waiting for the wolf to stray too far from the sheep, waiting for the wolf's teeth to go dull as it grew fat and lazy within the comfort of it's den. But not these wolves who starved themselves to keep their body lean, who kept their teeth sharp with frequent hunts, who lulled other predators into a false sense of security by leaving the sheep unattended-

Wait. Shit. How long ago did the Ford leave the house?

His proximity sensors shrieked at him and Ford barely managed to dodge the first bolt that had been aimed at his side, the second burying itself in his calf. So the Ford was looking to incapacitate and not kill, not exactly a comforting realization.

Ford's landing was sloppy, his leg buckling when he hit the ground in a crouch, giving the Ford just enough time to line up a clear shot. Neither moved, both waiting to see what the other would do. The Ford's aim was steady and his finger poised to shoot, his empty stare more akin to a shark than a wolf.

"You've been scurrying around for long enough, little rat." The Ford spoke calmly, with a voice void of emotion. It was unnerving, how robotic this Ford was when he wasn't with his brother and Fiddleford, like he was removing a mask. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you."

"Your brother is going to die." Ford divulged, watching the Ford's hands flex on the crossbow, indecisive. Ford could work with that. "I can stop it from happening, but only if you let me work."

"You really think I'm going to trust you at your word?" The Ford asked with an ominous tilt of his head, dark eyes studying Ford as if he were a specimen. It made Ford's skin crawl, fingers twitching with the urge to gouge the Ford eyes out just so he would stop looking at Ford the same way He used to.

"You're going to have to because if you kill me, your brother is as good as dead."

#gravity falls #side quest #somebody to call my own au #stan and ford #stan pines #ford pines #stan twins #writing #ask box #overprotective ford pines #tw: implied murder #tw: serial killer ford

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midnightanxietytm · 1 year ago

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I have a silly idea :3

imagine Mabel recounting the “accident with the leaf blower” to the reader, who then proceeds to make sure Ford isn’t around and tells her about the “kissing practice robot” incident from high school (which they witnessed) if you don’t know what I mean watch the land before swine commentary video

meanwhile Ford is down in the basement and suddenly stops what he’s doing and is like “I feel a disturbance in the force.”

A/N: Oh my god the kissing bot is so iconic, Ford is such a dork for that one lol. Hope I met your expectations with this one , its been a while since I've written something more lighthearted. Thanks for the request!

Contents: Mabel and Reader spilling tea, talks about kissing and romance and other sappy things. Ford x Reader more implied than anything. Short and fun.

Word count: 500

You know something is wrong because Mabel isn't smiling, Mabel is always smiling. She walks through the gift shop door and goes straight to sit on the counter next to you with a big sigh.

“Alright, spill it, sunshine.” You say with a small smile, putting down the book you'd been reading in order to give her your full attention.

She looks up at you with big round eyes. “I dunno… The date went well, he even kissed me!” You gasp in pretend shock and that gets a small giggle out of her. “I know right?! But like… It felt weird! It wasn’t bad! Just weird… maybe I need more practice…”

That makes you laugh as you prop yourself near the checkout; “Mabel, darling, kissing isn't really some equation you can figure out, maybe he just wasn't the right person.”

She lets out another big sigh, but you can tell is more resigned and hopefull this time. “Yeah, I guess… Besides, I really don't want another leaf blower accident.”

You laugh again, Mabel has that charm. “The what accident now?”

“Oh my gosh, I never told you?! It's so embarrassing; I was obsessed with that boy, who turned out to be a bunch of gnomes by the way, and I wanted our first kiss to be perfect, so I stuck a photo of him on a leaf blower on suction made and used it to practice.” When she said that, both of you started to laugh so hard tears formed in your eyes. “I-t left like this huge bruise on my face!”

You lean your head on the table, trying to stop laughing, but the mental image of Mabel with a leaf blower stuck to her face is too much.

“Oh gosh you're just like your grunkle!” You say in-between wheezing.

“Wait which one?” Mabel asked, rubbing the tears off her eyes.

“Okay so…” You began, looking around just to check Ford wasn’t near. “Your Grunkle Ford, back in high school he built this robot…” You look around again, holding back laughter and bringing down your voice. “It was this mannequin head with a rubix cube for a mouth and it had an alarm that wouldn’t stop playing until he…” And you did quotation marks with your hands. “...kissed it right.”

And you both started laughing all over again. “That's so dorky oh my gosh!”.

“Right!? He's such a nerd.” You say, and there's a softness to it that eases Mabel's worries about romance all together. “It fell from his locker once and it started blasting the darn alarm! He couldn’t go anywhere for a week after that without people mimicking kissing noises. It was gross.” You chuckle and sigh, sitting back down on your stool. “Compared to that, a leaf blower is no big deal!”

“Compared to what?” Says a third voice.

You and Mabel snap your heads, seeing Ford standing on the doorway behind the vending machine.

Crap.

#gravity falls #midnight posts #taking requests #asks open #fanfic writing #my fic #ford x reader #ford pines x reader #grunkle ford #ford pines #mabel pines #gravity falls mabel #mabel is a sweetie #ford is a dork #midnight request

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paganminiskirt · 1 year ago

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I also love how Vegito and Gogeta are not only distinctly different beings, and the former is conducted primarily by Vegeta while the latter is conducted primarily by Goku - but Vegito is clearly the more benevolent and emotionally involved of the two people, while Gogeta tends more towards frigidity and vindictiveness. Because as individuals, Vegeta’s “good side” is just as subliminal and rare to witness as Goku’s “bad side,” right; Vegeta is not a nice man by nature, and Goku doesn’t have a grudge holding bone in his body. Goku’s lack of any impulse towards vengeance is the only reason Vegeta is still breathing. This is well established.

But when Vegeta is shown to care for other people, it always manifests as him lashing out in defense of them against some greater source of cruelty - he gets pissed at Beerus for humiliating his father, he attacks Beerus for hurting Bulma, he freaks out on Cell for killing Future Trunks & knocks Present Trunks out immediately after hugging him for the first time, because he knows his son would insist on staying with him through his kamikaze attempt on Buu. Because Trunks is like that. Because Trunks is his son.

And Vegito takes that principle and drags it out to the extreme! The whole first fight with Buu is just him playing this sadistic cat and mouse game, very much in the arrogant style of Vegeta, but he also makes constant mention of the loss of Gohan, Goten, Trunks and the others - using the language of “stealing” “hunting” and “kidnapping” that brings to mind Vegeta’s own childhood trauma. He displays some aspects of Goku’s personality of course, with the playfulness and the attempts to get Buu to surrender, but Vegeta is obviously steering this ship. It’s his confidence and self-superiority that makes them lose the fight, and his belief in the necessity of a warrior’s “pride” that he explicitly cites as his reason for looking down on Buu.

Because this is what Vegeta’s attempts at “good” look like, right? Preternaturally violent and egotistical, but with a sense of protectiveness and paternity that renders his behavior heartwarming, at least enough to show you that he’s grown from the smirking, bloodthirsty garden gnome he was first introduced to us as. Underneath all the bravado, Vegito is aggrieved on behalf of someone else. He’s being kind in the only way he knows how.

Gogeta… is not that guy. He doesn’t do rescue missions, and he doesn’t feel the need to remind you of his superiority. He portrays himself as an avenger, not a defender, with lines that evoke a sense of justice and consequence like “it’s over, I’ve come for you” and “your own bad energy will be your undoing.” He snidely tells Frieza he’s coming back for him after he’s done with Broly, even though he’s visibly incapacitated and not really picking a fight. He forgoes Vegito’s up-close and relatively simple combat style in favor of these dramatic, wide-ranging attacks, more like an act of god than a natural disaster. And while Vegito allowed Buu to play with him a bit, postponing the end of the fight to sate his own lust for battle, Broly doesn’t even get to touch Gogeta once he goes super saiyan, his dedication to the pursuit reminding you of Goku’s final battle with Frieza.

…Except Goku offered Frieza clemency, and looked genuinely disappointed when he rejected it. Gogeta does no such thing. The audience gets to watch, half in awe and half in horror, as he renders this uber-aggressive Saiyan attack dog into a flailing, incoherent mess, not bothering to stop and ask him to surrender even though the updated Broly is a much more sympathetic character than Frieza or Majin Buu ever were. He enunciates the final kamehameha with such gravitas that you actually feel scared for Broly - and in the older movie, when Janemba switches back to his original form, he takes one look at Gogeta’s glowering face and scurries away in terror.

Hey, remember how Gohan fled in fear when Goku (under extreme duress) threatened him during the fight with Frieza? After he transformed into a super saiyan for the first time, guided only by mindless rage after Frieza’s pointless killing of Krillin? During a fight which only began after Vegeta, someone who caused him immeasurable harm in the past, told him to avenge the killing of both their families & the genocide of their race? All of which took place on a planet which the earthlings only had to travel to in the first place because the Saiyans killed several of their friends - a slaughter which Goku witnessed the aftermath of, at which point he told Nappa “there will be no mercy for you, you bastard” in the original manga?

Goku gets slotted into this role quite a lot, doesn’t he. He’s a protector, but also a savior, a planner, a consoler, and an avenger. He does his best to help people and he raises hell when he can’t, but he’s not vengeful by nature. Quite the opposite. See how he treats Vegeta in the Namek saga, smiling at him and bantering with him like he’s a coworker, and not the guy who crushed his bones to dust while cackling with sadistic delight.

But that’s because Vegeta only did that much damage to him. Nappa killed all the others - with Vegeta’s eager permission, yes, but that’s still enough distance to allow Goku to psychologically seperate him from those crimes. Goku’s clemency initially emerged as a byproduct of his desire to help people, but we have seen that same drive give way to brutal punitiveness when he fails, and somebody he loves dies. You can argue that it's misdirected self-hatred, anger at his own inability to be the hero those people trusted him to be - Krillin died screaming “Goku!” you might recall. The removal from other people Goku grew up enduring feeds into his sense of responsibility for the community that grew around him as an adult. He knows how important he is, and it hurts when he comes up short.

And I think that, understanding Gogeta to be primarily led by Goku but still notably impacted by Vegeta, that intense drive towards retribution the fusion displays takes on more meaning. Vegito exemplifies Vegeta’s better impulses, which are brought out in full force by Goku’s influence - Gogeta exemplifies Goku’s ugliest inner desires, with the leash he usually keeps them on loosened by Vegeta’s influence.

Because Vegeta was knocking down 100+ sentient creatures per day as soon as he could walk. He spent most of his adult life as a pampered slave, he murdered one of his oldest companions without a second thought, his introductory panel shows him munching on a severed limb, ffs. Vegeta has been through a lot, and I'm the last person to downplay that, but he hasn’t been going through it emotionally involved. He's used to this. He had to be. If he wasn't, his whole psyche would've collapsed by age twelve tops.

But Goku? Goku had to do all of that with his feelings turned on! And he chooses to remain steadfastly good and give second chances no matter how bad the situation, and that’s a healthy enough way of dealing with all this horror. But a side effect of being guided by that choice is the knowledge that he could be worse, he could be crueler. He’s a lot like Gohan, in that sense.

And Vegeta used his dying breaths to beg Goku to abandon that long-abiding impulse to show mercy. Goku might believe in forgiveness, and he might’ve let Vegeta go because of that belief, but Vegeta is a stubborn little bastard. He thinks that it’s holding him back, allowing people to slip through the cracks; to get hurt. And we’ve established that these two are both capable of misdirecting self-anger at others, though Vegeta does it much more often than Goku.

So when Goku’s mind is merged with Vegeta’s, and he’s forced to look back on his decisions to allow horrible people to live not with pride, but with regret and disgust, it manifests as Gogeta. A walking overcorrection, the sentient reconciliation of these two belief systems. Who doesn’t forgive and doesn’t forget, self-assured and bitter and terrifying, like Goku was for the first twenty seconds after he went Super Saiyan. Like he always told himself he wouldn’t be.

#Gogeta #Vegito #in other words Vegito is a ‘😤Bitch😘I😇Said😶‍🌫️What😜I🙈Said🥶’ IG reel girl #& Gogeta is a ‘HOW MY DEMONS LOOK. NOW THAT YOU BITCHES SHOOK.’ IG reel girl #Goku #Vegeta #Broly #Frieza #dbz

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fumifooms · 1 year ago

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Kaka compilation

Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!

Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).

In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.

#The twins are so autistic swag #A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing #They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me #I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing #LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u #I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight #But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out #Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too #Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kaka floke #Kaka #Kiki and kaka #floke twins #As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era #ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME #KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE #KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD #Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman

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rpgsandbox · 3 months ago

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The 10 Most Anticipated TTRPGs For 2025!

EN World’s annual vote on the most anticipated titles of the coming year, and yes, some games have appeared on this list in previous years.

10) Starfinder 2E (Paizo Publishing) The Starfinder Playtest Rulebook brings Starfinder into a new age of compatibility, as Starfinder switches to using the same rules engine that powers the popular Second Edition of the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. Inside this playtest for the new edition, you’ll find six new classes, 10 ancestries, new skills, new feats, futuristic equipment including augmentations and upgrades, new science-fantasy spells, and more!

9) Alien - Evolved Edition (Free League) Expanded and updated core rules and a new cinematic scenario for the award-winning RPG from Free League and 20th Century Studios. Based upon feedback from thousands of players over five years of adventures, the Evolved Edition of the Core Rulebook delivers an updated and streamlined version of the ALIEN RPG fans know and love, along with additional new artwork, new content, and a variety of new tools for players and Game Mothers alike, all fully compatible with previous releases and game material.

8) 13th Age 2nd Edition (Pelgrane Press) A New Edition of the Award-Winning Heroic Fantasy Game! The coolest and most fun parts of traditional d20-rolling fantasy gaming plus story-focused rules, now with updated class and kin powers, fearsome new abilities for your favorite monsters, and revamped icon connection mechanics!

13th Age 2E has been in this chart three years running! In both 2023 and 2024 it came 3rd in the poll!

7) Coriolis: The Great Dark (Free League) Free League's original sci-fi RPG returns. Join expeditions to faraway stars and delve deep into ancient ruins.

6) Dolmenwood (Necrotic Gnome) Dolmenwood is a fantasy adventure game set in a lavishly detailed world inspired by the fairy tales and eerie folklore of the British Isles. Like traditional fairy tales, Dolmenwood blends the dark and whimsical, the wondrous and weird.

This is Dolmenwood's second appearance in this chart, coming in at #5 last year!

5) Terry Pratchett's Discworld: Adventures in Ankh-Morpork (Modiphius) Adventures in Ankh-Morpork, the Discworld tabletop roleplaying game, catapults you onto the streets of the Big Wahoonie, and once you've dusted yourself off you can adventure to your heart's content. With imagination and some shiny math rocks at your fingertips, your story on the Disc awaits. Based on the popular Discworld fantasy series by Sir Terry Pratchett, Adventures in Ankh-Morpork is an officially licensed tabletop roleplaying game set in its most recognisable city, complete with Sir Terry's iconic wit, humour, and humanistic satire.

4) Draw Steel (MCDM) A Fantasy RPG where your character starts, at level 1, already a hero. Maybe even locally famous! You might meet in a tavern, or start in the middle of the action! Whether you’re a group of local heroes sent to investigate mysterious goings-on in the nearby haunted wood, or famous mercenaries plotting and scheming in the big city, the MCDM RPG makes building adventures and fighting monsters fun. Basically, any adventure or story you’re running in your current Fantasy RPG, you can do that in this game. Just, in a more straightforward and fun way, unburdened by sacred cows from the 1970s.

3) Daggerheart (Darrington Press) Daggerheart is a fantasy tabletop roleplaying game of brave heroics and vibrant worlds that are built together with your gaming group. Create a shared story with your adventuring party, and shape your world through rich, long-term campaign play.

2) Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere (Brotherwise Games) The Cosmere® RPG is a "living" RPG that will grow as Brandon Sanderson writes new novels and expands his universe. This original system is designed to tell standalone stories in the Stormlight™ or Mistborn® Settings -- or sweeping Worldhopper™ campaigns that move between different worlds and realms!

1) Legend in the Mist (Son of Oak) A rustic fantasy tabletop RPG based on the acclaimed City of Mist. Spin a fireside tale of unlikely villagers setting out on a quest into a greater unknown world, rife with peril and mystery, in the vein of The Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, Princess Mononoke, and many other classic fantasy stories, or create your own legendary realms with the game’s open-ended system.

#RPG #Starfinder #Alien #13th Age #Coriolis #Dolmenwood #Discworld #Draw Steel #Daggerheart #Cosmere #Legend in the Mist

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eepy-cookies · 1 month ago

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Fem Y/N lore when?

(I say curious)

She was once named Sugar Crystal Cookie, a craftswomen and the assistant to Blueberry Yogurt Cookie in the academy, often assisting him in giving the supplies he needs and the experience he needs to create new found of knowledge. Ever since her assistance it allowed him to craft the materials to create books, spells, etc as the fount of knowledge. They both got along very well as the first adult cookies made by the witches themselves.

But there are two problems…. but mainly at Sugar Crystal Cookie, one she has missing ingredients in her dough thus she hide the fact that she got an illness that can never be cured, two there might be a day where she might crumbled away the best she can do is to live and use here talents to the best of her own abilities. Of course Blueberry Yogurt Cookie found out and they got a bad argument and got separated due to health complications (it was also the path of his sanity losing to corruption), but before he was able to apologize she was missing and when he learned that the other cookies took her he was speechless.

He tried everything he can to locater and find her, but there is no answers….

She was captured to who knows where.

During the beasts invasion, Sugar Crystal Cookie was captured and was tested by other cookies who are also desperate to create a cure for an illness that cannot be cured not even the witches can cure it. It was pure hell for her, and another cookie who was beside her also had the same illness as her, his name is already forgotten and she knew that worse experiments will happen to her if she didn’t escape he agrees with her and they attempt to escape while everything was in pure chaos.

She captured a black crystal that represents her suspiciously she would ignore it but that crystal holds the worse case scenario if she didn’t take it, but at what cost?

“Do you wish to live?”

“…”

“Your time here in earthbred is limited and yet here you are desperate to survive.”

“…”

“So… whats your answer?”

“…”

“Yes….I wish to live!”

She was the only survivor who absorbed and escaped the building? She had no idea that who capture thing was all on a script a witch put her through, the witch put her to a trial, a trial if she is capable of handling the corruption despite being ill. The black crystal infection was her only cure for her own illness, it was never a soul jam.

The only way to make sure she stays stables she had to suppress her emotions. It will eat her up alive but she had no other choice, she was a doll to a different person’s stage. Every emotion she had will increase her infection that might crumble her. She would be able to control it if she manages to move on, but the only thing she did was suppress her emotions way too long before Gingerbrave’s adventure.

Before the force retirement, she meet up with 4 other cookies ever since she made her corrupted self Executioner Cookie as her personal butler/friend/assistant.

They are not from their own souljams either, but these 4 cookies were from another world taking on a new name to hide themselves.

But it was also the reason why she had to train to survive, but when the other cookies found her interesting she had to take extra measures to keep things in control. However, she knew that things can go wrong so fast if she make a wrong move.

Her last resort is to force retirement with her personal butler and travel far and wide to avoid those types of cookies, she witness them being horribly greedy once before, she isn’t going through it again a second time.

Currently she is found in the player’s kingdom as a assistant to give the gnomes a refresher on food and water slowly recovering and moving on.

(rest of the files of her will not be said)

#y/n cookie #//be warned tho its a bit dark #//be luck I didnt show all

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syn4k · 1 year ago

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if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM

🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow

oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys

9 notes

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?

🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow

OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

western mezalea?? lol

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

well that explains a lot.

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

Can I Help You

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

ain't emperor joel dating a fish

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????

#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry

11,798 notes

🌸 prismarined Follow

...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what

🦦 i-like-otters

yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7

#reblog

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⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE

🐟 kelpieselkie Follow

I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit

237 notes

🐠 fishfucker997

this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg

🐠 fishfucker997

have you people never heard of references in your life

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio

🐠 fishfucker997

my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??

🐠 fishfucker997

they blocked me lmao

#how is this post only 2 days old

197,233 notes

🐪 camel Follow

she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear

elvfish-deactivated-20210503

who the hell let a camel onto this site lol

🐪 camel Follow

You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.

#911 i just witnessed a murder

87,546 notes

🌻 helantheia

anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0

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📷 desertphotography

West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria

2,307 notes

#ray's tag #mcyt #empires smp s1 #empires smp #pix would absolutely still have tumblr btw. hed be posting aesthetic pictures in the middle of exile #this took me way too long to put together you're all welcome #fake post #fake posts #writing #keys' writing

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the-greatest-magic-of-all · 1 year ago

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With such a God-focused season, one day, once Junior Year is finished and I have both the time and energy to do it, I want to make a Fantasy High God AU zine. It'd be from the pov of a mythologist/theologian in Spyre who's found strange links between minor deities throughout different regions' pantheons.

Half-Elves have a God of Dance and Flames who has been said to have defeated a Tiefling vagabond (and tamed his Hellhound mount) and charmed Fire itself with only a dance and his silk battle sheet. And if you look deep enough into his history there are rare depictions of him wearing an oddly shaped pendant and riding into battle with a sling-wielding Goblin peeking out of his rucksack. Interestingly enough, there's a minor Goblin God of Justice and Mysteries, the son of a Goblin Folk Hero and the Goblin Goddess of Knowledge, Laws, and Justice, who famously wields his father's enchanted sling. Though he and his father are often shown with angelic wings. So, why would he dally with a God so closely associated with Fiends?

Tieflings have a trickster Goddess of Music, Rebellion, and Devotion. The daughter of an Archdevil and a Wood Elven Goddess of Archery & the Wilderness. She's said to be a paramour of a Half-Phoenix Pirate Goddess of Wizardry and Knowledge and once toured the lands, performing with a Half-Orc companion. A lot of artistic recreations of that tour depict the Half-Orc companion with flower motifs that correspond with a Gnomish/Half-Orcish God of Tinkering and Rage. One that once outwitted a Sphynx and regained his spurned Saytr paramour's love by speaking to/reaching the stars with the help of a band of Tinkerer Gnomes.

There are tales of a Twice Risen Goddess who was once the chosen one of the Demigod Helio, but took one look at him and thought she could do better. With the wisdom to raise Gods from the dead and remove unholy rites without any divine power other than her own, this God-Saint of Doubt travels across Spyre not to spread her own religion but to inquire about others. This deep curiosity is probably how she ended up in some Fallinel depictions of the First Elven Oracle, who upon death ascended to becoming the Goddess of Sight, Intelligence and Righteous Fury. There are even short hymns written about the Oracle foreseeing the God-Saint's rise (against the Elven Moon Goddess' wishes) and of the God-Saint banishing some dark entity from possessing the Oracle with only a profane curse of its name.

And even more stuff connecting them all. Like the fact that all of them have tales of them defeating an Ancient Red Dragon. Or the tales of The Festival of the Crab King: a strange, delirious story of mortals witnessing a euphoric revelry of the deific kind that involved all these Gods from different pantheons.

#idk i think it'd be a fun time #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers

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mumms-the-word · 1 month ago

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Unexpected Reunion

Characters: Astarion x Gale Summary: Five hundred years after the events of BG3, the world of Faerûn has moved on and entered into a modern era. An art gallery at a prominent museum has opened up to display works from the 1400s, drawing the attention of two beloved characters, who did not expect to meet again so soon. A/N: February is the month of birthdays for so many friends! This was written as a gift for the super talented @unforgiving-girl for her birthdayyy. I heard she liked bloodweave and art by many classical and beloved painters so I wanted a homage to both. Enjoy!

NEW EXHIBITION! The Age of Heroes, Gods, and Monsters Baldurian Art from 1300-1500

The glossy sign stood just outside of the museum gallery, beckoning guests and visitors to come see the collection of artworks that had recently been rediscovered and carefully curated into this new display. The word online was that museum curators had just successfully acquired a whole set of Fevras portraits and other art of the 1490s, a collection that had been packed away in someone’s attic for two or three hundred years after they had disappeared from the noble halls and castles during one strife or another. Now they were unveiling a new wing to put all the art of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries in one place.

Immerse yourself in rich Baldurian history! the marketing materials online said. See how art and culture were transformed during some of the most tumultuous times of Baldur’s Gate’s history. Witness the sharp upheaval of the infamous Times of Troubles. Gaze at portraits of heroes and tyrants alike, from Sarevok to Lord Gortash, from Duke Eltan to young Wyll Ravengard. Ruminate over paintings and sculptures of gods both beloved and forgotten. Expansive and dynamic, this exhibition places famous works alongside newly discovered treasures to tell the story of wars, conflicts, and adventures that shook the realms, all centered around our very own Baldur’s Gate.

Just outside of the hall, a white-haired young man paused, a black umbrella hooked over one arm, contemplating first the exhibition sign and then the steady stream of visitors making their way into the gallery. The exhibition had attracted folk of all kinds. Elderly couples walked slowly from work to work, taking their time to gaze and study. A group of uniformed schoolchildren followed along behind their teacher, notebooks in their hands, listening to her explain the rules of the museum. Further down the hall, tourists paused beside the more famous artworks, glancing down at their printed guides and museum maps before moving on to the next most well-known work.

To all of them, these paintings and sculptures were all a part of some distant, mythical history. Even the oldest elf in the room seemed too young to have a living memory of these events, enough to tell what was real history from dynamic reimagining. Not so for the white-haired guest. Where others saw the distant, impersonal past, he saw intimate memory.

He took a deep breath to steady himself—a habit not even centuries of vampirism had entirely cured—and entered the gallery. At first, it was only a little uncanny. The old paintings and marble busts from the 1300s that he had seen hanging in different manors and noble estates now featured together at the start of this gallery. The farther he walked, the further in time he traveled, moving out of a century he could only barely remember as a hazy blur into a time that was burned into his memory with sharp clarity.

The 1490s was a decade of great change for Baldur’s Gate, a large placard read between sections in the gallery. Between the technological innovations of organizations like the Gondian and Ironhand Gnomes, dangerous industrial updates to the city’s infrastructure and law enforcement, and the infamous Dead Three attempting to control an Elderbrain, resulting in widespread destruction, this decade gave rise to a full spectrum of art, from loving homages to the simplicity of home to the veneration of heroes, and from the tumult of war to the celebration of innovative design.

Ha, the visitor thought, smirking at the placard. It shouldn’t be so easy to summarize the events of history in just a few sentences.

He paced even more slowly in front of the paintings now. Some were no bigger than a piece of printer paper, some large enough to span floor-to-ceiling on the cream-colored walls. Vistas of magical battles, nautiloids in a swirling cloudy sky over a city burning with red and purple flame, sat next to careful still-life studies of fruit, flowers, or skulls. An imposing portrait of Duke Ulder Ravengard sat opposite an equally imposing portrait of Lord Gortash. Not far off, an all-too-familiar painting of a white-skinned woman curled sensually around the body of a red-skinned tiefling stretched seven feet tall, still in its original skull-topped frame. He was surprised that one made the cut, but then he recognized a few dark paintings from Cazador’s manor, too. And one that he swore he’d only ever seen in Raphael’s House of Hope.

He was nearing the end of the gallery now when his eyes finally landed on the one painting he had come here to see. When he first heard the news about the rediscovery of a few Fevras portraits, he wasn’t certain this one was among them. It wasn’t until someone texted him a photo of the gallery uploaded online, a quick red circle added clumsily around a painting on one wall, that he knew.

He paused in front of the portrait, a strange mix of emotions swirling within him. Nostalgia, humor, regret, and longing. This…was him. Him as he was five hundred years ago. Him as he was in that present moment, physically unchanged by the ravages of time but altered nonetheless.

To every other visitor to the museum, the portrait featured an aloof, mysterious young elven man, his skin as pale as moonbeams, his silver hair styled in perfect curls swept up and out of his face. His crimson eyes glimmered like rubies, standing out stark red in his otherwise white face, framed with dark lashes that cast the subtlest of shadows over his eyes. He lounged in a plush red chair—it seemed so gaudy now looking back—clothed in a well-tailored outfit of black, silver, and red. The height of fashion at the time. As he lounged, he leaned his cheek lightly against the fingers of one hand, a confident, easy smirk on his lips. The figure bore the essence of catlike, predatory grace, beckoning you closer with his eyes while waiting to pounce on you once you got too close.

He glanced at the art placard next to it.

Oskar Fevras 1452-1517, Baldur’s Gate, Faerûn Portrait of a (Comparatively) Young Vampire 1492 Oil on canvas

Not even a little description or bit of history. Not even his name. Just a reference to that fop of an artist and a title that must have been added recently. He folded his arms, frowning. It wasn’t as though the name Astarion Ancunin was unknown, even all these centuries later…

Still…he had to admit, it was good to see that face again.

“Well, well! What a surprise to see this here. We went through a lot of trouble to earn that portrait, as I recall.”

Astarion turned, the familiar voice snapping him out of his thoughts. An older gentleman stepped out of the crowd, well-dressed in a thin dark purple sweater and a blazer, a pair of gold-framed glasses perched on his nose. His thick hair and well-trimmed beard were snowy white and his face bore a few more wrinkles around the eyes and mouth than the last time Astarion had seen him, but the modern style overall made him look no older than fifty. Age had not dulled his brown eyes one bit—they sparkled with good-natured humor just as much now as they had done that first year they’d traveled together.

Astarion smirked. “My, my. If it isn’t Gale Dekarios.”

Gale smiled in return, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Astarion. You’re looking as devilishly handsome as ever.” His eyes flicked to the portrait and then again to Astarion, amusement glimmering in his eyes.

“And you don’t look a day over three hundred, darling. In fact, you look better at six hundred than you did at sixty, though I’m sure Elminster is deeply disappointed in the state of that beard.”

“Five hundred, I’ll remind you, but I’ll take the compliment in the spirit in which it was given.” Gale chuckled, stroking his carefully trimmed beard. “And while Elminster would say any decent wizard is only as good as his beard, we must keep up with the times. Trim and clean is the order of the day.”

“I’m certain Blackstaff University doesn’t mind if its Professor Emeritus has a beard down to his knees. I’m told it’s a time-honored tradition among their venerated wizard staff.”

“Perhaps they wouldn’t mind, but I would. I’ve never been one for tradition.” Gale shrugged and then shook his head. “Gods, how long has it been?”

Astarion tilted his head, one curl slipping free of his combed hairstyle and falling onto his temple. “Since when? Since we found ourselves trapped in an artist’s haunted manor fighting poltergeists?” He knew what Gale was actually asking, but he didn’t want to answer just yet. He didn’t want to acknowledge the distance or the time.

“Since we last met. Ages, surely. Well, not literally but…figuratively.”

Every day apart feels like an age to you, Astarion thought idly, but those were the echoes of lovesick words Gale used to whisper in his ears more than three centuries ago. This was a different time. A new era.

It didn’t stop the memories from flooding back, however. He recalled easily those stumbling first steps of their unexpected romance, back when they were both the hapless adventurers caught up in a grand scheme that pitted gods and mortals and illithids against one another. The way Gale had conjured whole worlds out of magic for him. The way Astarion had learned, one hesitant step at a time, to trust and even, eventually, slowly, to love. The way they had lain together at night and discussed the future, their words trailing off in the darkness, and how Gale had assuaged Astarion’s rising panic that he would one day face a world without him with the promise of finding ways to extend his life.

If Elminster can live this long as a Chosen of Mystra, perhaps I can find a way, too. The perks of being a god’s Chosen are not so easily lost, Astarion, even if Mystra and I are on the outs.

He had found a way, an effective kind of immortality that required no vampirism, no lichdom, and no chains binding himself to Mystra. And for a century, everything had been perfect.

But time wore down so many things, including love. A second century and a third were spent with the two of them like passing ships that occasionally docked in the same harbors. A visit here and there, a night of passion to rekindle old flames, only to let them softly smolder into dying embers by the next morning. Gale had plenty to keep him busy. Astarion wanted to see the world as it was evolving and changing around him. They began to meet less and less often, their interactions reduced to affectionate but politely distant letters.

They never could forget one another, though. With the advent of every new form of communication, they seemed to find each other again. Astarion still had Gale’s first telegram to him sitting in a box among letters on parchment, paper, and postcards spanning a handful of centuries. He remembered the first time he heard Gale’s voice, tinny and staticky, in the first telephone call they had shared, and the first email Gale had sent him, and the first text message. Gale always knew how to find him, somehow. Even when Astarion put distance between them all over again, it was only inevitable that Gale would come into his orbit again eventually. Like a particularly chatty comet.

“I’d say it’s been a few decades or so,” Astarion answered at last. “Everything keeps us so busy these days. But what brings you here?”

“I heard they uncovered a set of Fevras portraits,” Gale said. “I came to see if yours made it into the gallery. It is, in my unbiased opinion, the best portrait that cad ever painted. I’m gratified to see this museum continues to have discerning tastes.”

“Maybe now it’s finally worth the cost we paid to get the damned thing.”

Gale waved his hand, an expensive silver watch glinting faintly in the museum lights. “Oh, it was worth it the day we got it.”

Astarion said nothing to that, merely smiling. How could he forget the day they’d gotten the painting? Oskar had sent a messenger to their room at the Elfsong, saying the portrait was done at last, and Gale had insisted Astarion wait in the room while he fetched it himself. It had been a whole event, with Gale asking him to cover his eyes while he brought the painting inside, threatening to cast darkness over him if he didn’t comply. He had held Astarion’s hand the moment that he opened his eyes to behold the painting, and squeezed his fingers reassuringly when they began to tremble from the wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him.

After nearly two hundred years since he became a vampire…he could see his own face again.

It’s an uncannily realistic likeness, Gale had said softly. As handsome on canvas as what I see before me now.

“I never should have given it up,” Astarion murmured to himself. It had been a rash decision made at the height of one of their lovers' spats far too long ago. He’d wanted nothing to do with any of Gale’s gifts at the time, so off the portrait went, packed in a crate and sold to some fanatic who really loved Oskar Fevras’s works. And then it had disappeared. Until now.

Gale didn’t seem to hear him, or was very politely feigning ignorance. He looked around the gallery with interest and said, “You know, it’s a shame your statue got destroyed a while back. It would have been a fine addition to these hallowed halls.”

“It was supposed to be a fine addition to my gardens,” Astarion quipped. “And it was, right until someone’s magical experiments turned the whole place into a small crater.”

Gale winced but tried to offer an apologetic smile. “A mistake for which I still have yet to atone, it seems. I did offer to replace it. At least a dozen times.”

“It wouldn’t have been the same. That one had been a gift.” From you, like everything else I owned at the time. Like everything else I held precious until I couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.

He left those words unsaid.

“I know.” Gale gave a small sigh, his good humor faltering a little. “We never realize what is truly irreplaceable until it is already gone from us.”

Astarion said nothing. He never knew what to say in the face of Gale’s philosophizing. Especially when each thought seemed to hint at his ongoing, never-ending, eternal affection for him. How does one carry that kind of love for so long?

But the fact was, Gale didn’t carry that kind of love, not eternally. What had kindled in 1492 was not what they had sustained, broken, reforged, and let dim over the next few hundred years. For five centuries they had lived in the same world, usually on the same continent, often within the same city. For five centuries, Astarion had found himself sharing in a love with Gale that had morphed and changed, burning bright with the flash and bang of a firework, simmering slow and steady like the flame on a stove, flickering distantly in the dark like a candle flame on a pitch black night. As their lives adapted, so did their love. Even when all appeared to be over, for good, forever, as it did when they last parted amicably several decades ago, Gale’s affection for him was like the last stubborn ember in a long-forgotten fire. One soft breath could revive it back to life.

Perhaps, if Astarion gave it more than a moment’s thought, it was the same for him. It was good to see Gale again. There was none of the ache and shame right now that he had carried in previous encounters. Maybe that would come later but for now…

With love like a tiny ember nestled at the bottom of a cold stone hearth, Astarion let Gale’s presence come in like an early spring breeze, blowing color back into the coals, first red, then orange, then white. No flame yet, but the potential as there.

“It’s good to see you again,” Astarion said at last, his voice soft.

Gale’s smile was as warm and free of judgment or condemnation as ever. “And you, Astarion. I’m always glad to see you.”

“And who wouldn’t be?” Astarion said, fixing the wayward curl in his gelled hair. “Honestly.”

Gale chuckled. He had long grown used to Astarion’s dismissive nature. “Are you free the rest of today? We should get coffee and catch up. There’s a cafe not far from here that caters to vampires.”

Astarion examined his nails as if the prospect didn’t secretly add more breath to the embers within him, encouraging a flurry of briefly flickering sparks. “I could free up some time in my busy, busy schedule, I suppose.”

“I shall endeavor not to take up too much of your precious time, then,” Gale said, tone dry. But then, glancing at the portrait again, he seemed to get an idea. He pulled his phone out of his blazer pocket. “Before we go—we should take a photo by the painting. What do they call it these days? A selfie.”

Astarion raised his eyebrows. “What would be the point? You know as well as I do, darling, vampires don’t show up in photos any more than they show up in mirrors.”

“Indulge me.” Gale opened the camera, after a few hesitant swipes that suggested he was still getting used to this model of smartphone, and waved over a young half-elven woman who was passing by with a few of her friends. “Do you mind taking a photo of us in front of this painting? No flash of course. I think I’ve already turned it off.”

She nodded. “Sure.”

As she took the phone and held it up for them, Gale smiled at Astarion and gestured for him to join him by the painting. Astarion sighed softly, adjusting his hold on his umbrella, but went to stand next to him, trying to ignore that little voice that tried to convince him this was silly, embarrassing, and a waste of time.

“This isn’t a selfie, Gale,” Astarion said.

Gale waved this remark away. “Pish posh. It’s a photo with our selves in it. Same thing”

“Ready?” the girl asked, watching them.

Gale put a hand on Astarion’s back, smiling at him when Astarion glanced over uncertainly. But the touch was familiar, safely near Astarion’s shoulder blades, and despite his desire to get this photo business over with as quickly as possible, Astarion felt himself relax as he fit himself against Gale’s side. He looped an arm around Gale’s waist, resting his hand on his hip as he’d done countless times before.

“You owe me for this,” he whispered, giving Gale’s hip a small squeeze. Gale’s smile broadened and he shifted his hold, his arm now fully around Astarion so he could give a returning squeeze to his shoulder.

“Coffee first,” he murmured back. “We can see where we go from there.”

The girl cleared her throat, looking uncertainly between them. “Umm…”

“Sorry, we’re ready now,” Gale said. He gave Astarion’s shoulder another squeeze. “Smile!”

Astarion rolled his eyes but summoned his usual close-lipped smirk. The girl looked back down at the phone in her hands, shifting to center them and the portrait in the frame. Then her hands faltered, her expression shifting. She glanced between the screen and them a few times, and then blinked hard and looked again.

“Is there a problem?” Gale called pleasantly. The girl jolted.

“N-no! Of course not. One sec.” She tapped the screen a few times and then turned the phone sideways and caught a few photos that way too. Behind her, her friends started to whisper to one another and point. The girl lowered the phone with a forced cheerful smile. “Done!”

“Thank you so much,” Gale said, reaching for his phone back. As soon as it was out of her hands, the girl scurried back to her friends, whispering quickly as they hurried down the gallery. Astarion couldn’t help but catch a few phrases as they passed by.

Did you see that? I’m not crazy, right, that guy is—

—really him? In the painting? It has to be the same guy—

—just a coincidence, right, like, vampires don’t live that long—

—but he didn’t even show up in the camera!

“You’ll have me in the tabloids tomorrow,” Astarion said. “I’ll go viral on TikTok soon if we don’t leave now.”

“I’m not even sure I know what that is,” Gale said amiably, opening his photos. He paused, smiling fondly down at one of the photos and then turned the phone so Astarion could see. “What do you think? We finally got your face on camera.”

Astarion hesitated but peered at the screen, curious. For a split second, he half expected his portrait to be faceless, but every detail remained, down to the supple curve of his lips and the sharp red color of his eyes. Just off to the side of the portrait, a white-haired Gale stood with his arm around a headless body dressed in expensive, tailored clothing. Astarion had put one hand in his pocket, his umbrella hanging from his wrist, but his other should have appeared at Gale’s side. Instead, there was nothing to see there except for an odd wrinkling in Gale’s blazer, enough to suggest a phantom touch. The space above Astarion’s high-collar shirt showed nothing but the wall behind him and a hazy, thin shadow to suggest the shape of a head.

“You still can’t see my actual face,” Astarion said, straightening. “You could have simply taken a picture with the portrait yourself.”

“But then you wouldn’t have been in it.” A mischievous glint then entered Gale’s brown eyes. “I can have someone edit your portrait face over your body if that helps.”

He scrunched his nose with distaste. “No thank you, let’s not make this photo any worse than it already is.”

But Gale’s initial words continued to warm the coals within Astarion’s chest. You wouldn’t have been in it. Now he was, a body that was leaning comfortably into Gale’s side, with an arm wrapped around him and an invisible hand resting naturally on Gale’s hip.

“Send me that,” Astarion said after a second, and then promptly turned on his heel and walked away.

“Of course, I—wait a moment! Where are you going?”

Astarion paused and glanced over his shoulder. “We’re attracting attention. And you promised me coffee, didn’t you? So let’s go.”

The smile on Gale’s face was the same as it had been five hundred years ago, before there were camera phones and cars, before pictures or postcards or planes. The same smile Astarion had felt it was impossible to say no to in almost every era. Gale jogged to catch up with him, that smile never faltering, and stayed step by step with him as they made their way to the entrance of the museum. Together, the two of them stepped out into the sun, sheltered in the shade of Astarion’s black umbrella, reunited once again in a new age, a new era.

#happy birthdayyyy #everyone can have random bloodweave as a treat #its kind of a modern day AU but like #not modern earth so #idk #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bloodweave #gale x astarion #my fic #bg3 fic #i don't even go here (the bloodweave fandom) so hopefully i did the boys justice <3

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