#Wit!Gnomes

[gnomewithalaptop]

Damn, I really thought I was about to make some crazy observation here and connect the dots that Hercules was the one who gave Cassie the costume she ends up using for her Titans of Tomorrow Evil Arc, but alas, DC in 2007 was simply not on my level

[engagemythrusters]

me: im going to try romancing halsin this time. im so darn curious about what happens in a romance with him.

gale: *does his little piont* SPOT ON

me: oh my god i cant do this

[frigginconfused]

One mental break away from doing a non-stop twitch stream until I can afford a new house

[myaamango]

Gome

[glyphsmash]

Elf TV: exclusively 300 season-long soap operas

Dwarf TV: How It's Mined followed by a 4½ hr documentary about salt

Gnome TV: those sensory videos for cats where bugs and mice and birds crawl around on the screen. they really like this

Orc TV: Mythbusters and Top Gear reruns

Halfling TV: the most incredible impassioned storytelling you've ever witnessed always neatly contained in 2 seasons max

Fairy TV: imagine Impractical Jokers except theyre capable of stealing people's faces . this is the only show that fairies have

[tgcg]

happy day of egbert

CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?

TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you

TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert

TG: half press to focus subject

TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot

CG: BUT --

TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine

===

EB: yeah, come on karkat!

EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.

EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.

EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…

EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!

===

CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.

CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.

CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.

TG: alright give us a sec

TG: huddle formation

EB: psssshhh, alright.

===

TG: youre not gonna fuck this up

TG: your ass is completely secure dude

TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville

EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?

EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.

TG: 'xactly

TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone

===

CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?

CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.

TG: woah wait youre legit into it?

CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.

CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.

TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us

TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!

CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.

TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright

===

CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --

===

CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!

EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.

CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.

CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.

CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.

EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…

===

EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!

CG: WHAT

[midnightanxietytm]

I have a silly idea :3

imagine Mabel recounting the “accident with the leaf blower” to the reader, who then proceeds to make sure Ford isn’t around and tells her about the “kissing practice robot” incident from high school (which they witnessed) if you don’t know what I mean watch the land before swine commentary video

meanwhile Ford is down in the basement and suddenly stops what he’s doing and is like “I feel a disturbance in the force.”

A/N: Oh my god the kissing bot is so iconic, Ford is such a dork for that one lol. Hope I met your expectations with this one , its been a while since I've written something more lighthearted. Thanks for the request!

Contents: Mabel and Reader spilling tea, talks about kissing and romance and other sappy things. Ford x Reader more implied than anything. Short and fun.

Word count: 500

You know something is wrong because Mabel isn't smiling, Mabel is always smiling. She walks through the gift shop door and goes straight to sit on the counter next to you with a big sigh.

“Alright, spill it, sunshine.” You say with a small smile, putting down the book you'd been reading in order to give her your full attention.

She looks up at you with big round eyes. “I dunno… The date went well, he even kissed me!” You gasp in pretend shock and that gets a small giggle out of her. “I know right?! But like… It felt weird! It wasn’t bad! Just weird… maybe I need more practice…”

That makes you laugh as you prop yourself near the checkout; “Mabel, darling, kissing isn't really some equation you can figure out, maybe he just wasn't the right person.”

She lets out another big sigh, but you can tell is more resigned and hopefull this time. “Yeah, I guess… Besides, I really don't want another leaf blower accident.”

You laugh again, Mabel has that charm. “The what accident now?”

“Oh my gosh, I never told you?! It's so embarrassing; I was obsessed with that boy, who turned out to be a bunch of gnomes by the way, and I wanted our first kiss to be perfect, so I stuck a photo of him on a leaf blower on suction made and used it to practice.” When she said that, both of you started to laugh so hard tears formed in your eyes. “I-t left like this huge bruise on my face!”

You lean your head on the table, trying to stop laughing, but the mental image of Mabel with a leaf blower stuck to her face is too much.

“Oh gosh you're just like your grunkle!” You say in-between wheezing.

“Wait which one?” Mabel asked, rubbing the tears off her eyes.

“Okay so…” You began, looking around just to check Ford wasn’t near. “Your Grunkle Ford, back in high school he built this robot…” You look around again, holding back laughter and bringing down your voice. “It was this mannequin head with a rubix cube for a mouth and it had an alarm that wouldn’t stop playing until he…” And you did quotation marks with your hands. “...kissed it right.”

And you both started laughing all over again. “That's so dorky oh my gosh!”.

“Right!? He's such a nerd.” You say, and there's a softness to it that eases Mabel's worries about romance all together. “It fell from his locker once and it started blasting the darn alarm! He couldn’t go anywhere for a week after that without people mimicking kissing noises. It was gross.” You chuckle and sigh, sitting back down on your stool. “Compared to that, a leaf blower is no big deal!”

“Compared to what?” Says a third voice.

You and Mabel snap your heads, seeing Ford standing on the doorway behind the vending machine.

Crap.

[agneswarda]

golden girls is so amazing i even made a powerpoint

(I copy-pasted the main text under the cut. unfortunately, I can't find the time for a proper alt text. life is stressful rn)

-Picture it: Miami, late 80s/early 90s. four 60+ women

-living together.

-Sure, they talk a lot about (straight) sex

-but what we see on screen is their dynamic. Their deep friendship. Their love also they often act quite gay with eachother. amazing

-Did i mention they are old. They are old and deal with getting sick and aging. A lot.

-But their life isn‘t over. They might not be related. But they are family, and they are here for each other

-These four women are the Golden Girls.

-You are in for a treat. A 7 seasons 25 episodes long treat

Introducing the girls: Dorothy Zbornak

-not to be a lesbian but omg

-Tall soft butch

-quick-witted

-sarcastic

-her voice *swoons*

-would make numbers on tumblr

-> her idea of a good time is being Alone wiht a book in her room

-> Huge dorky nerd

- Being vulnerable is not her strength but when she is It‘s amazing. Soft. makes me cry

Introducing the girls: Blanche Devereaux

-slutty

-sexy

-selfish

-sensitive

-Sensual

-Did i mention slutty

-And proud of it

-All these things are her strenghts as well as her weaknesses

 -She is actually quite complex

Introducing the girls: Rose Nylund

-Sweet

-Loving

-Kind

-caring

-Everyone says she‘s Dumb

-I think she might just Be neurodivergent?!??!!!! With her special interest

-Being St. Olaf

-The place she comes from

-Has amazing st olaf stories for everything

-Can also be a judgy bitch sometimes

Introducing the girls: Sophia Petrillo

-SHE WOULD MAKE NUMBERS ON TUMBLR

-„You're a funny little gnome, and we feed you too much.”

-This quote describes her perfectly

-It’s Dorothy who says it to her

-Who is incidentally her daughter

-Trickster energy

-Don‘t know if she is gay. But she commits crimes

-It‘s her way of dealing with old age

-And all the limitations it brings

-The show would just be half as funny without her

But op. Is it really this good. It‘s so old

I will admit: not everything aged well. Be also prepared for:

-it‘s v white. If they have characters of color, they sometimes work well. And sometimes it‘s embarassing to watch bc harmful stereotypes (not often but yeah. It happens.)

-Bodyshaming: the girls tease each other about their height, weight etc. and sometimes it can really become a lot/too much.

-Rose is so often the butt of the joke for not understanding situations. I think a lot of neurodivergent folks can relate. And it can hurt to hear the same old mean comments again and again

BUT

-This is a series which was never afraid of complicated topics

-First and foremost: the queer advocacy and topics were and still are amazing. The found family of it all alone.

-Also: death,being sick, being disabled. Getting old. Not performing the gender The way one would like to (anymore) (so. yes. Dysphoria. In a way). The financial aspect of it all. These are important topics which are treated with humor (of course) but also with respect

-it‘s a kind show which has its heart in the right place

-And i mean

-4 old women who are „just“ friends living together, supporting eachother?

-That shit is still revolutionary in the year of our lord 2024

So give it a chance!!!!11!!!!!111

[paganminiskirt]

I also love how Vegito and Gogeta are not only distinctly different beings, and the former is conducted primarily by Vegeta while the latter is conducted primarily by Goku - but Vegito is clearly the more benevolent and emotionally involved of the two people, while Gogeta tends more towards frigidity and vindictiveness. Because as individuals, Vegeta’s “good side” is just as subliminal and rare to witness as Goku’s “bad side,” right; Vegeta is not a nice man by nature, and Goku doesn’t have a grudge holding bone in his body. Goku’s lack of any impulse towards vengeance is the only reason Vegeta is still breathing. This is well established.

But when Vegeta is shown to care for other people, it always manifests as him lashing out in defense of them against some greater source of cruelty - he gets pissed at Beerus for humiliating his father, he attacks Beerus for hurting Bulma, he freaks out on Cell for killing Future Trunks & knocks Present Trunks out immediately after hugging him for the first time, because he knows his son would insist on staying with him through his kamikaze attempt on Buu. Because Trunks is like that. Because Trunks is his son.

And Vegito takes that principle and drags it out to the extreme! The whole first fight with Buu is just him playing this sadistic cat and mouse game, very much in the arrogant style of Vegeta, but he also makes constant mention of the loss of Gohan, Goten, Trunks and the others - using the language of “stealing” “hunting” and “kidnapping” that brings to mind Vegeta’s own childhood trauma. He displays some aspects of Goku’s personality of course, with the playfulness and the attempts to get Buu to surrender, but Vegeta is obviously steering this ship. It’s his confidence and self-superiority that makes them lose the fight, and his belief in the necessity of a warrior’s “pride” that he explicitly cites as his reason for looking down on Buu.

Because this is what Vegeta’s attempts at “good” look like, right? Preternaturally violent and egotistical, but with a sense of protectiveness and paternity that renders his behavior heartwarming, at least enough to show you that he’s grown from the smirking, bloodthirsty garden gnome he was first introduced to us as. Underneath all the bravado, Vegito is aggrieved on behalf of someone else. He’s being kind in the only way he knows how.

Gogeta… is not that guy. He doesn’t do rescue missions, and he doesn’t feel the need to remind you of his superiority. He portrays himself as an avenger, not a defender, with lines that evoke a sense of justice and consequence like “it’s over, I’ve come for you” and “your own bad energy will be your undoing.” He snidely tells Frieza he’s coming back for him after he’s done with Broly, even though he’s visibly incapacitated and not really picking a fight. He forgoes Vegito’s up-close and relatively simple combat style in favor of these dramatic, wide-ranging attacks, more like an act of god than a natural disaster. And while Vegito allowed Buu to play with him a bit, postponing the end of the fight to sate his own lust for battle, Broly doesn’t even get to touch Gogeta once he goes super saiyan, his dedication to the pursuit reminding you of Goku’s final battle with Frieza.

…Except Goku offered Frieza clemency, and looked genuinely disappointed when he rejected it. Gogeta does no such thing. The audience gets to watch, half in awe and half in horror, as he renders this uber-aggressive Saiyan attack dog into a flailing, incoherent mess, not bothering to stop and ask him to surrender even though the updated Broly is a much more sympathetic character than Frieza or Majin Buu ever were. He enunciates the final kamehameha with such gravitas that you actually feel scared for Broly - and in the older movie, when Janemba switches back to his original form, he takes one look at Gogeta’s glowering face and scurries away in terror.

Hey, remember how Gohan fled in fear when Goku (under extreme duress) threatened him during the fight with Frieza? After he transformed into a super saiyan for the first time, guided only by mindless rage after Frieza’s pointless killing of Krillin? During a fight which only began after Vegeta, someone who caused him immeasurable harm in the past, told him to avenge the killing of both their families & the genocide of their race? All of which took place on a planet which the earthlings only had to travel to in the first place because the Saiyans killed several of their friends - a slaughter which Goku witnessed the aftermath of, at which point he told Nappa “there will be no mercy for you, you bastard” in the original manga?

Goku gets slotted into this role quite a lot, doesn’t he. He’s a protector, but also a savior, a planner, a consoler, and an avenger. He does his best to help people and he raises hell when he can’t, but he’s not vengeful by nature. Quite the opposite. See how he treats Vegeta in the Namek saga, smiling at him and bantering with him like he’s a coworker, and not the guy who crushed his bones to dust while cackling with sadistic delight.

But that’s because Vegeta only did that much damage to him. Nappa killed all the others - with Vegeta’s eager permission, yes, but that’s still enough distance to allow Goku to psychologically seperate him from those crimes. Goku’s clemency initially emerged as a byproduct of his desire to help people, but we have seen that same drive give way to brutal punitiveness when he fails, and somebody he loves dies. You can argue that it's misdirected self-hatred, anger at his own inability to be the hero those people trusted him to be - Krillin died screaming “Goku!” you might recall. The removal from other people Goku grew up enduring feeds into his sense of responsibility for the community that grew around him as an adult. He knows how important he is, and it hurts when he comes up short.

And I think that, understanding Gogeta to be primarily led by Goku but still notably impacted by Vegeta, that intense drive towards retribution the fusion displays takes on more meaning. Vegito exemplifies Vegeta’s better impulses, which are brought out in full force by Goku’s influence - Gogeta exemplifies Goku’s ugliest inner desires, with the leash he usually keeps them on loosened by Vegeta’s influence.

Because Vegeta was knocking down 100+ sentient creatures per day as soon as he could walk. He spent most of his adult life as a pampered slave, he murdered one of his oldest companions without a second thought, his introductory panel shows him munching on a severed limb, ffs. Vegeta has been through a lot, and I'm the last person to downplay that, but he hasn’t been going through it emotionally involved. He's used to this. He had to be. If he wasn't, his whole psyche would've collapsed by age twelve tops.

But Goku? Goku had to do all of that with his feelings turned on! And he chooses to remain steadfastly good and give second chances no matter how bad the situation, and that’s a healthy enough way of dealing with all this horror. But a side effect of being guided by that choice is the knowledge that he could be worse, he could be crueler. He’s a lot like Gohan, in that sense.

And Vegeta used his dying breaths to beg Goku to abandon that long-abiding impulse to show mercy. Goku might believe in forgiveness, and he might’ve let Vegeta go because of that belief, but Vegeta is a stubborn little bastard. He thinks that it’s holding him back, allowing people to slip through the cracks; to get hurt. And we’ve established that these two are both capable of misdirecting self-anger at others, though Vegeta does it much more often than Goku.

So when Goku’s mind is merged with Vegeta’s, and he’s forced to look back on his decisions to allow horrible people to live not with pride, but with regret and disgust, it manifests as Gogeta. A walking overcorrection, the sentient reconciliation of these two belief systems. Who doesn’t forgive and doesn’t forget, self-assured and bitter and terrifying, like Goku was for the first twenty seconds after he went Super Saiyan. Like he always told himself he wouldn’t be.

[fumifooms]

Kaka compilation

Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!

Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).

In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.

[syn4k]

if tumblr existed in empires s1 then the dashboard would look a little bit like this i think

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

MY CAT JUST RAN OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SANDSTORM IM

🌿 theres-no-place-like-gnome Follow

oh no are they okay?? i don't know how serious sandstorms are but maybe you could go after them?

🏜️ cactus-abolitionist

Sand blowing past you at upwards of 75kmh. It's also really hot sand. It's been known to literally strip the flesh off of bones wait post cancelled my cat just walked back in she's fine guys

9 notes

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

visiting the Mythlands today and me and my family found a neat lil natural floating island while hiking

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

to the people in my notes going "what the fuck": have y'all never heard of physics?

🥀 remorse-is-remorse-of-course Follow

OP WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE WHERE THIS IS NORMAL

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

western mezalea?? lol

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

well that explains a lot.

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

Can I Help You

🔧 verylostmechanic Follow

ain't emperor joel dating a fish

🏺 clay-the-dirt-man Follow

yeah, they're married. Isn't Emperor Joey a demonfucker????

#dude why are the notes arguing over the ethics of being ruled by a demon 😭 what the fuck #op im so sorry

11,798 notes

🌸 prismarined Follow

...i'm in this class thats being taught by the headmaster today and she smells like weed. i'm not gonna say anything but like. what

🦦 i-like-otters

yeah the academy's just like that. as long as she's not like, actively dying or anything she's probably fine??? idk o7

#reblog

2 notes

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

I JUST GOT BACK FROM A BUSINESS TRIP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THE COPPER KING'S GONE

🐟 kelpieselkie Follow

I DONT KNOW I DONT LIVE THERE BUT apparently nobody expected it either?? like some people are saying it was the Dragon Fight that did it (i know Emperor Joey came out with statements that Emperor Riffs actually helped kill the dragon and unleash the demon but its been two days and we all know that he hates that guy so idk) but nobody actually knows anything. it's crazy bro

⌛️ thelittlesandthatcan Follow

my mom said the royal housekeepers found a note from him alongside like everything he owned but they're not saying what's on the note yet. holy shit

237 notes

🐠 fishfucker997

this will definitely have an impact on the local trout population

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

the Guardian of the Thirteenth Empire just died and you're worried about fish???? be for real omg

🐠 fishfucker997

have you people never heard of references in your life

🏰 all-the-kings-hen Follow

why are you interacting with me i literally have "codlanders dni" in my bio

🐠 fishfucker997

my brother in cod you literally reblogged this from me??

🐠 fishfucker997

they blocked me lmao

#how is this post only 2 days old

197,233 notes

🐪 camel Follow

she dragon fight on my copper king til i disappear

elvfish-deactivated-20210503

who the hell let a camel onto this site lol

🐪 camel Follow

You will die at age 87 with nobody to mourn you and no stars still shining to watch you go.

#911 i just witnessed a murder

87,546 notes

🌻 helantheia

anyone know who made emperor pearl's dress? it's really pretty :0

0 notes

📷 desertphotography

West of the River of Plenty, Pixandria

2,307 notes

[nowimjustastranger]

Has Stcmo Ford come across a dimension that alerted him a Stanley was in danger, but he got there, everything seems fine. Keyword “seems”.

And after numerous checks, everything seems like in order. On the surface it just looks like another dimension with Ford, Fiddleford and Stan living together in gravity falls.

But there is just SOMETHING that feels immensely wrong about this dimension.

Like the way that this Stanley and Fiddleford seem a little too overly content with their lives, they aren’t seem to be lost or forgetting things so it can’t be the memory gun. And by the looks of it, the Bill Cipher of this dimension is dead.

In fact the more Stcmo Ford looks into it…

Filbrick is dead, Fiddleford’s wife Emma-May seems to be dead, Shermie is dead, newspapers on about the last few years show that many gang leaders have either gone mysteriously missing or have seemed to have been killed. Jimmy Snakes, Rico, several people who knew Stanley in prison are dead as well. Many people that would be considered a threat have been killed.

There’s something off about this Ford as well, he seems to always be watching Fiddleford and Stanley, the two always were within watch.

Like a wolf watching over his two sheep.

Not entirely sure what era this is happening in, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume it's a "Mystery Trio AU" type situation, so it would be set in the early years in Gravity Falls.

Ford has been in Dimension 1R^86 for three days now and he's nearly at his wits end, he has no idea what the threat is or even where it might come from. He hasn't slept at all either, maintaining constant vigilance of the shack and it's inhabitants.

Ford is currently perched in one of the large trees surrounding the shack, hidden in the branches with a direct line of sight to both entrances. There's been nothing, no activity around the shack within a fifty foot radius. Which is another thing, Ford hasn't spotted so much as a gnome rooting through the trash in the three days he's been watching.

It's... something's not right but he can't put a finger on what.

With a growl, Ford's eyes flick to the icon in the top corner of his hud, selecting it with a thought so the data flooded onto the screen, his proximity sensors online to warn him if anything tries to sneak up on him while he's preoccupied.

D – 1R^86 | 29 yo | COD: Blunt Force Trauma

No change.

Ford exited out of the data with a frustrated huff, he'd done a lot of digging into the deaths that surrounded Stan and the results all pointed toward one Ford Pines being the culprit, but the way that he watched over his brother and Fiddleford so intently made it highly unlikely that he was the threat.

The Ford in this dimension reminded Ford 419"3 of himself, an ambush predator watching and waiting for the opportunity to strike. A wolf that muzzled itself in the presence of it's sheep so they would not be afraid, because despite the wolf's nature, those sharp teeth and claws were never meant for the sheep.

They were for other predators.

Other predators that might also be watching and waiting for the wolf to stray too far from the sheep, waiting for the wolf's teeth to go dull as it grew fat and lazy within the comfort of it's den. But not these wolves who starved themselves to keep their body lean, who kept their teeth sharp with frequent hunts, who lulled other predators into a false sense of security by leaving the sheep unattended-

Wait. Shit. How long ago did the Ford leave the house?

His proximity sensors shrieked at him and Ford barely managed to dodge the first bolt that had been aimed at his side, the second burying itself in his calf. So the Ford was looking to incapacitate and not kill, not exactly a comforting realization.

Ford's landing was sloppy, his leg buckling when he hit the ground in a crouch, giving the Ford just enough time to line up a clear shot. Neither moved, both waiting to see what the other would do. The Ford's aim was steady and his finger poised to shoot, his empty stare more akin to a shark than a wolf.

"You've been scurrying around for long enough, little rat." The Ford spoke calmly, with a voice void of emotion. It was unnerving, how robotic this Ford was when he wasn't with his brother and Fiddleford, like he was removing a mask. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you."

"Your brother is going to die." Ford divulged, watching the Ford's hands flex on the crossbow, indecisive. Ford could work with that. "I can stop it from happening, but only if you let me work."

"You really think I'm going to trust you at your word?" The Ford asked with an ominous tilt of his head, dark eyes studying Ford as if he were a specimen. It made Ford's skin crawl, fingers twitching with the urge to gouge the Ford eyes out just so he would stop looking at Ford the same way He used to.

"You're going to have to because if you kill me, your brother is as good as dead."

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

With such a God-focused season, one day, once Junior Year is finished and I have both the time and energy to do it, I want to make a Fantasy High God AU zine. It'd be from the pov of a mythologist/theologian in Spyre who's found strange links between minor deities throughout different regions' pantheons.

Half-Elves have a God of Dance and Flames who has been said to have defeated a Tiefling vagabond (and tamed his Hellhound mount) and charmed Fire itself with only a dance and his silk battle sheet. And if you look deep enough into his history there are rare depictions of him wearing an oddly shaped pendant and riding into battle with a sling-wielding Goblin peeking out of his rucksack. Interestingly enough, there's a minor Goblin God of Justice and Mysteries, the son of a Goblin Folk Hero and the Goblin Goddess of Knowledge, Laws, and Justice, who famously wields his father's enchanted sling. Though he and his father are often shown with angelic wings. So, why would he dally with a God so closely associated with Fiends?

Tieflings have a trickster Goddess of Music, Rebellion, and Devotion. The daughter of an Archdevil and a Wood Elven Goddess of Archery & the Wilderness. She's said to be a paramour of a Half-Phoenix Pirate Goddess of Wizardry and Knowledge and once toured the lands, performing with a Half-Orc companion. A lot of artistic recreations of that tour depict the Half-Orc companion with flower motifs that correspond with a Gnomish/Half-Orcish God of Tinkering and Rage. One that once outwitted a Sphynx and regained his spurned Saytr paramour's love by speaking to/reaching the stars with the help of a band of Tinkerer Gnomes.

There are tales of a Twice Risen Goddess who was once the chosen one of the Demigod Helio, but took one look at him and thought she could do better. With the wisdom to raise Gods from the dead and remove unholy rites without any divine power other than her own, this God-Saint of Doubt travels across Spyre not to spread her own religion but to inquire about others. This deep curiosity is probably how she ended up in some Fallinel depictions of the First Elven Oracle, who upon death ascended to becoming the Goddess of Sight, Intelligence and Righteous Fury. There are even short hymns written about the Oracle foreseeing the God-Saint's rise (against the Elven Moon Goddess' wishes) and of the God-Saint banishing some dark entity from possessing the Oracle with only a profane curse of its name.

And even more stuff connecting them all. Like the fact that all of them have tales of them defeating an Ancient Red Dragon. Or the tales of The Festival of the Crab King: a strange, delirious story of mortals witnessing a euphoric revelry of the deific kind that involved all these Gods from different pantheons.

[artsfavoritehorn]

Trapped Twosome- A Player 2 x reader fic😈👾🕹️ Part 1- "Just Another Day at the Office"

Word count: just over 5.6k 😇

Finally! Heres part 1 of the long awaited and critically acclaimed (LOL) Player 2 x reader fic 😈😜😌 I ended up having so many ideas for this and it just got so long that I decided it'll just end up needing a part two soon🤪😏😎 The formatting may not be perfect since this is being done on mobile but hopefully it'll look alright 😋❤️

Tag list: @xenoanamorph @hauntedfoodie @bloodyrib @jessicafangirl @getmeoutofhell @thatspookyghoul996 @lunahazarrived @halloweentown-horrors @garlic-the-gnome @babesway22 @candiecoloredclown @dominionatrix @angeljeonjkk @itslilithe @yourlocalwitchh @alicecoopersbush 🕹️🤘 apologies if I missed anyone/ let me know if you'd like to be tagged here and for future installments! <3

No specific warnings that I can think of besides maybe slight reader injury, this part ended up being more tame than I thought LOL but it'll definitely get ~spicier~ in future installments😏😚🫶

Have fun reading this and I hope you enjoy! 🥰😈🕹️🤘

Darkness enshrouded the long hallway you had found yourself in. Trying to move as quickly yet as quietly as you possibly could, you continued to trudge through the maze of the old building you had gotten lost in, not quite familiar with its layout (and honestly not quite sure which floor you were even on at that point). Your heart thumped in your ears, so loud it nearly tricked you into thinking that you heard footsteps behind you. You weren't certain about many things in that moment, but you were aware of two facts- you knew you weren't alone in this building, and you also knew that you didn't want to end up crossing paths with the other being that was currently roaming the halls- all the while with his sights set on finding you. Wanting a moment to calm your breathing, you internally screamed praises to whatever deity was currently watching your scenario play out when you stumbled upon a secluded supply closet at the end of the seemingly never-ending hallway. Clasping the doorknob with shaking and sweating hands, you shuffled your way into the closet and shut the door behind you as quietly as possible. You realized that it was probably not the best idea to remain idle in one spot for too long, as the masked man was bound to make his way around this section of the building at some point in this game of cat and mouse, but if you didn't stop for a minute to catch your breath, you knew your laboured breathing would give away your location instantly. Staring into the darkened abyss of the supply closet’s small square footage around you, you wrapped your arms around yourself in a tight hug, trying your best to offer your body some kind of comfort amidst this terrifying dilemma you had found yourself in- you knew you had to do whatever you could to keep your wits about you. Looking around the claustrophobic space, you decided you could either stay here and try to blockade yourself inside the room, or you could bolt now and keep moving; either option would involve the heavy risk of the man finding you and you'd rather have the option to run without being totally cornered, so you begrudgingly opted for the second option. The short lived safety of the closet was merely a mirage- you could only imagine what could happen to you if you were trapped in such a small space with this maniacal killer.

Trembling in fear, your arm raised to open the door, delayed for just a moment, unsure if he'd be standing there waiting to pounce on you as soon as you opened it. Pausing for a few seconds, you decided to put your ear to the door to see if you could hear any footsteps or subtle breathing on the other side- you quickly deduced that this action was ultimately a waste of time since you recalled that you hadn't even heard this guy say anything or make any type of noise for that matter during the duration of being trapped here with him; you weren't sure how he was capable of that, but you also weren't keen on sticking around to find out. With tension rising, you gripped the door knob with sweaty palms, getting ready to swing the door open and make a run for it in the direction you had been heading in when you found the closet just mere minutes ago.

Your arm wrenched the door open swiftly, putting your other arm up instinctively in case you had to immediately defend yourself- only to be met with an empty hallway. Your shoulders dropped and you let out a sigh of relief, quietly returning to sprinting down the hall yet again as you continued making your way through the building, faint lights flickering above you and helping to guide your path in the otherwise dark and dingy labyrinth. As you neared the end of the hall, you stumbled upon one of the elevators- this entire time you'd been using the stairs, but that scared you too- you had gotten lucky enough so far that you hadn't ended up in any of the stairwells at the same time as the killer, but with quick consideration, the stairs had offered a quieter route than using a dinging elevator; at this point, you decided that this elevator was unfortunately your only choice. The stairwell for this floor was all the way back in the direction you had just run from, and you just couldn't risk it- you weren't the biggest fan of the thought of backtracking in this hellhole. Pressing the red down button, you prayed that the elevators were still working, and your eyes lit up with a fevered hunger to escape as the doors creaked open a moment later. You had never been happier to see an elevator in your entire life.

Rays of fluorescent light basked over your form as you stepped over the threshold, feeling as if you were stepping into some sort of twisted version of heaven. You were ready to get the fuck out of this horrible place, and in this moment, the elevator was going to be your guaranteed ticket out- you would surely get down to the street level floor in no time, being able to rush towards the exit and finally be rid of this nightmare… At least that was your plan anyway, and you couldn't help but crack a delirious smile at the thought that you had actually outrun some deranged killer- what a crazy story THAT would be to tell for years to come… Come to think of it, what floor were you even on? You noticed an electronic display board on the wall with the inscription of “5H” on it, so you assumed that meant you were at least on the fifth floor (amidst the night’s escapades, you hadn't even been able to keep track of where you were in your fear-fueled, constantly moving state). You closed your eyes with your back still facing the elevator entrance, thankful to have stumbled upon it and waiting for it to reach the first floor. After a few seconds went by, you realized you weren't moving; in your panicked haze, you didn't even think to press the button for the floor you wanted to go to. Turning around to face the still open elevator doors and get a better look at the floor buttons, your smile dropped as your blood ran cold- far at the opposite end of the hall, a tall lithe figure stood, masked eyes glowing bright green and a hand raised to wave teasingly at you, the tips of his fingers wiggling back and forth in a sickening manner. You stared each other down for a few beats, paralyzed in absolute fear, before the man suddenly began bolting in your direction, the heavy thud of his footsteps growing louder and rumbling through your shaken core the closer he got. A shaky scream rose from your throat, mind going numb as you clicked the button for the first floor, pounding your fists against the “close doors” button in a crazed panic. Just before he could reach you, perhaps just a few feet away you had figured, the doors closed with a heavy thud. You're certain that the bastard could still hear your shrill screams muffled from beyond the metallic separation of the elevator doors, no doubt grinning to himself at the thought of how afraid you truly were, and it was all because of him. You sunk down to the floor, your legs trembling and giving out on you from the sheer terror of it all, and your heart pounded in your chest almost painfully as the heavy adrenaline coursed through your veins; you were completely and horrifyingly aware that he now knew that you were on the elevator, and there were only so many spots the elevator could travel to- of course he would expect you to head towards the floor with the only direct exit on it. You couldn't help but let out another cry of desperation laced with fear as the elevator continued on its slower than expected descent southward. There was only one hopeful thought you attempted to continuously remind yourself of that kept you tethered to earth in that moment- you'd definitely make it down to the first floor and have more than enough time to make it out the front exit before the man could make it down five long flights of stairs… right?

All of a sudden you were zapped out of your racing thoughts when the elevator gave out a jolt, coming to a sickening halt on the third floor. No, no, no, this cannot be happening- oh shit. Your brain screamed a million different expletives, panic increasing in the pit of your stomach yet again followed by the sickening heat of anxious bile rising in the back of your throat- the only scenario your brain was able to conjure in that moment was that the man had reached the third floor before the elevator had time to pass it, and he had called for it. You braced yourself against the back wall, breathing turning rapid and shallow as the doors wrenched open, only to be met with- nothing there at all, just another empty hallway. What? You glanced back at the control board, noticing after a moment that in your race to close the doors on the fifth floor, that your fists had also accidentally clicked the third floor button. Damnit! Your fist made sharp contact with the “close doors” button again at lightning speed, repeatedly pressing it as if you were an impatient businessman late to work at his office job.

The remainder of your ride down to the first floor continued to be just as unpleasant, the old stained carpeting offering no solace to you as your eyes darted around the enclosed space. There was literally nothing else you could do at that point- being in the elevator made you feel like you were trapped in a cage, with the only immediate exit leading to death; although you were most likely screwed, you'd never forgive yourself if you didn't at least try anything you could to get out of this nightmare alive.

The elevator, albeit not so smoothly, finally reached its destination, the clang of the metal doors invaded your ears as they opened before you to reveal a grave sight to behold-

Another hallway- great.

It was just your luck that this elevator wouldn't end up directly in the main lobby, of course.

Paranoia overtook you as you moved, your head darting around every which way and constantly looking back over your shoulder while running through the dimly lit hall, occasionally grazing the walls as you passed through. As you began rounding what appeared to be the final corner of the hallway towards the lobby, you nearly burst into tears out of anxious frustration, being so close yet still so far (in this specific circumstance) from the exit. You paused for a moment and peeked around the corner into the lobby, making sure no one was standing in there waiting for you. With the coast seemingly clear, you began taking careful steps into the darkened lobby, the only light source being emitted by the street lights streaming in from the front windows. Suddenly, a loud clang sounded from behind you, causing you to whip your head around at the speed of light, fearing the worst- only to see a mop had fallen over in the far corner, its worn wooden handle having clattered directly against the linoleum floor. You shook it off and smiled ever so slightly at the fact you got so worked up over a mop before turning back around ready to get out of there, bumping directly into an overall bound chest with the clear inscription of the number 2 painted across the front.

You flinched back, scrambling away from him frantically as you began hyperventilating at the shock of him standing there all of a sudden, a futile attempt at separating yourself as far as you possibly could from the man that you had been trying your damnedest to stay far away from that entire night. Continuing to shuffle yourself backwards, your body was halted as your back met with the unforgiving coolness of the chipped cement wall of the lobby. Adding the rotten cherry on top of your already completely sickening dilemma, your vision zeroed in just beyond his shoulder, noticing the main exit being just a few yards away, taunting you with a ruthless glow. Looking closer, you noticed that there was also a heavy chain covered in various locks wrapped around the door handles, meaning that the bastard had locked you in sometime during the night while you were frantically roaming around upstairs.

The man whipped his finger up at you accusingly, shaking it in your direction in a chastising manner, his lithe body visibly trembling in silent rage as he went on to clench his first by his side. He was clearly agitated with you running away from him and making him have to go through the trouble of chasing after you for a majority of the night- the chase was fun for him most of the time, but the man was truly interested in playing with his prey the way HE wanted to and WHEN he wanted it at the end of the day.

The mysterious man cornered you, advancing on you in a flash- his slender fingers of his left hand snaked their way to grip on your shoulder in a tight hold as his other arm slammed against the wall on the other side of your head- you would've tried to kick him in the balls if it weren't for the fact that his skinny yet strong body was pressed up against you so hard that you couldn't even move your legs.

He looked down at you, nearly a foot if not more than a foot taller than you, the man being close enough for you to actually see his eyes through the mask for the first time that night- although you were terrified out of your mind, you couldn't help but feel the heat rise in your cheeks, unable to control your body’s physical reactions to the sudden and rough outward stimuli. Of course he had to take note of this too, chuckling silently at your current state of appearance and raising his shoulders up a bit, teasing you.

You realized that you were most likely going to die that night, along with the man's commitment to remaining totally silent driving you crazy, so you turned desperate as you realized that you were most likely done for- you moved your hands up as much as you could, clasping them together between the limited space between where your chests nearly touched due to his immense closeness.

“Please! Please please please listen to me- I'll let you do whatever you want to me, anything you want me to do and I'll do it, just don't kill me! Oh lord PLEASE don't kill me!”, you begged and begged, your voice coming out strained and wavering amidst your broken sobs, hating how incredibly desperate you sounded and knowing it probably wouldn't change the outcome of whatever he had in mind. You thought maybe offering to him that he could do anything he wanted to you may at least buy you some time- after all, he was still a man- maybe you could distract him long enough with your body that you could divulge a new escape plan (although you wished you could have a better option than letting this monster have his way with you in exchange for more time); and if you couldn't come up with a new way to escape, at least you could just prolong the inevitable, not at all looking forward to whatever torture he had in store for you. He only continued to glare back down at you and cocked his head a bit in response to your offer, as if he was saying “Really? That's all you've got?”.

In a final lousy attempt at getting the man to understand that you were another human being and not just some plaything, you shakily reached up to try to take his mask off to get a better look at his face, perhaps in hopes of connecting with him more, you had conjectured (and the fact that at this point you had nothing left to lose), only for him to quickly snatch your wrist in his merciless grip and give it a harsh squeeze of warning, causing your eyes to go wide as saucers as you stared helplessly back up at his piercing eyes peering through the mask. In all his years of participating in the games and practicing his little “hobby”, no one had ever been bold enough to try to immediately remove his mask- sure, maybe some would've tried to swipe at him to knock it off in their silly attempts at getting away, but usually they'd be trying to run away or be too paralyzed in fear to even think of doing such a thing, so even he was taken aback by your bold choice of action- this caused him to get a new idea for you- maybe you could be more fun for him than he initially considered.

He pulled you closer to him (if that was even possible) with rough force, tilting your chin up to look at him as he motioned for you to be silent with a finger pressed up to the sickening smile plastered across his mask. You whimpered but tried your best to follow his orders as he began moving with you, placing both hands on your shoulders and guiding you away from the wall, bringing you back in the direction towards the elevator. Your heart dropped as he pushed you inside the small confines of the elevator and stepped in behind you, your body trembling violently in pure fear- the last thing you could see was the taunting brightness of the EXIT sign plastered by the front entrance as the elevator doors closed with a sickening thud.

The man surprisingly released you from his hold temporarily, seeing as there was nowhere for you to run in this small space- as soon as his hands were off of you, you instantly scurried into the farthest corner of the elevator, trying to separate yourself as far as you could from him. You watched helplessly as he casually tapped his slender fingers along the chin of the mask while looking over the control panel, finally making a decision and selecting the button to send your ass back up to the fifth floor after all that. “W-why are we going back up?”, you stuttered in scared confusion, wishing so desperately for any kind of answer, but of course the man stuck with his silent facade and just looked over at you in amusement for a moment and then back toward the doors. You continued to watch as the man leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, stomping his foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator to make its slow journey upwards. Just as you passed the threshold of the fourth floor, he sauntered over to you and grasped you by the collar of your shirt, pulling you up roughly right up next to him again so that you couldn't immediately bolt as soon as the doors opened. Your heart thumped like crazy as you tried to hold back your nervous whimpers, thinking that he could probably feel how scared you were since he was so close to you at that moment. You tried to control yourself from making any unnecessary sounds, remembering how he had told you to be quiet and not scream- you weren't exactly keen on finding out what the extra punishment for disobeying him would be.

Dragging you out of the elevator and back onto the fifth floor, he led you down the hall you had gotten lost in earlier and turned towards a random room, kicking the door open and forcing you inside, throwing you down on a dingy old couch in the corner as he turned back to lock the door, sealing you in with him; as you glanced around your new setting in a terrified haze, you came to the conclusion that you must've been in some sort of abandoned office building, the room you were currently in having been some kind of break room. There was a small lamp on a side table next to the couch as the main light source for the room, and you noticed an old industrial copier across from where you had been thrown that had a fine layer of dust over it, presumably from years of not being used. The other end of the room was just as shabby, with a small kitchen table in the corner and what appeared to be a makeshift food prep area- a sad looking microwave and a dirty coffee maker along with a mini fridge being the only things occupying the space. Did he… live here? Suddenly you were broken out of your thoughts as you felt your legs being grabbed, your eyes widening as you whipped your head down at the man's touch- at first you were scared for a moment that he was grabbing your legs to wrench them open and just have his way with you, but you were able to let out a nervous breath of relief when you realized he was doing the complete opposite to your surprise, watching as the man bound your ankles together with duct tape so that you couldn't get up and run away from him. He looked back up at you when he was done and wiggled his fingers on both his hands at you in a mocking gesture before hoisting you up by your midsection, causing you to let out a squeak.

He brought you over to the copier to your confusion, gesturing between the beat-up machine, around the room, and back at you as if he were a magician getting ready to show off his latest trick. He theatrically tapped the fingers of the hand that wasn't holding onto you against the side of his head as if in deep contemplation about something before ultimately reaching down and clicking the copier button, the machine groaning and whirring to life. He appeared very pleased with himself as he opened the lid, looking around for something to copy but not finding anything that suited his taste- he required an alternative- you followed his gaze in horror as his mask tilted down to you, his free hand reaching out swiftly and grabbing your (thankfully non-dominant) hand, placing it on top of the cool slit glass over the scanner of the machine before he instantly proceeded to slam the lid of the copier down on top of it as hard as he could. You let out a wild shriek of pain that you couldn't hold in, and you would've sunk down to the ground on your knees had it not been for his tight grip on you, holding you up in place where he wanted you- the man shook his head, seemingly upset at the fact that the copier’s cover didn't close properly as it should, and proceeded to yet again strike the lid down on your poor hand multiple times in a row until he was finally satisfied- each sharp bang of the lid reverberated throughout your entire body as your screams accentuated each smash making contact with your injured appendage. There was no doubt in your mind that your hand was partially crushed and would be totally bruised, feeling the searing heat traveling up your arm.

The man leaned over and pressed another button on the copier, the machine whirring again as you noticed the exposure light going off, scanning your crumpled hand- and sure enough, a few sheets of paper plopped into the output tray, showcasing a black and white image of your mangled hand. He excitedly reached over and grabbed the papers as you whimpered, shoving one into your face and throwing a few around the room gleefully. You cried out, trying to pull your injured hand out of the machine with your other arm, the man letting you and releasing his tight grip on you without warning as you stumbled back, landing with a hurtful thud against the decrepit couch. You watched as he grabbed the last copy out of the tray, the final paper getting dramatically tacked up on the old bulletin board hanging precariously over the copier, similar to a child putting their artwork up on the fridge with a sense of pride. The man sauntered over, swaying his hips as he did so, totally proud of himself at having done a proficient job at demonstrating to you the sheer torture he could supply you and stood over you, looking down menacingly as you clutched your bruised and battered hand to your chest, trying to focus on not dry heaving or passing out from the pain. Continuing to writhe in agony before him, you tried to reason with him yet again, knowing you couldn't handle anymore. The “2” on his overalls caught your eye again. “O-ok, ok, please, just listen to me. Uh- 2? I-is that your name? Fuck, uh, oh my gosh this hurts so much.”, you paused, taking in a large yet shaky breath to try to steady yourself as you could barely think straight due to the pain. The man, or “2” now that you decided to call him by that to see if you could get some better results, put his hands on his hips, continuing to stare down at you with that unchanging expression on his mask, waiting for you to continue and see what you would even attempt at asking him but becoming slightly impatient.

“My name is y/n. Please, no more. Not tonight, I can't handle it… I'm begging you, and my offer still stands from earlier, please just let me rest tonight and you can do whatever you want, I swear, I just- don't wanna die tonight.”. Tears streamed down your cheeks, your vision turning hazy, all you could see was the glowing green aura from his eyes clouding your watery field of vision. 2 was honestly surprised that you were still conscious at this point, or at least very clearly trying to mentally will yourself to stay vaguely semiconscious for as long as you could- usually at this point, his victims would be so zoned out if they were even still alive that they basically became like rag dolls, not being able to even conjure basic sentences or have the will to attempt to fight back anymore. He had to admit, he was somewhat impressed by your sheer will to do just about anything it took to stay alive, much like how he would do nearly anything to come out on top and be the winner at the end of the day. 2 crouched down in front of you, thinking for a moment, before reaching out to you- you instinctively flinched, your upper body jerking away from him and holding your injured hand closer to yourself so that he couldn't stir the damage any further. Again, to your surprise, his hand came to rest on top of your bound ankles, his long fingers drumming lightly against the duct tape he had placed there. He looked back up at you and continued to tap his fingers as he tilted his head in a questioning manner, which you could only interpret as a veiled threat- if he were to remove the duct tape, you had to keep up your end of the bargain and do as he ordered or else there would be swift punishment coming your way, now that you knew what he was capable of. “I swear, I promise! I won't go anywhere, I'll do whatever you ask of me, I won't try to fight back anymore- please!”, you cried out, although in your mind, there was a continuation to that statement- you wouldn't fight back anymore, at least for tonight.

That seemed to be enough for 2, and to your horror he pulled a gnarly looking pair of scissors out of his back pocket, immediately slicing and working his way through the thick layers of duct tape before tearing the offending tape away and unbinding your legs, discarding the temporary restraint somewhere on the grimy floor. You went to pull your legs up into yourself but 2 stopped you, motioning for you to stand up and go wait in the corner. Confused but still terrified you follow his orders, unsure of what was even happening at this point, but you figured if he'd kept you alive for this long, you better not try to disobey him- he gave off the vibe that he was the type to completely change his mind on a whim and you certainly didn't wanna give him any reason to do so. He suddenly began ripping the couch cushions and throwing them off to the side, a cloud of dust going up in the air as he pulled on something- you realized he was converting the couch to a pull out bed, the ancient looking furniture creaking as he did so.

You nearly forgot your injured hand momentarily as his seemingly gentle actions took you by surprise- was he just toying with you now to give you some kind of false sense of safety? The man reached behind the couch, conjuring a very tattered blanket and a couple of nasty stained pillows, throwing both on the sofa bed ceremoniously. 2 turned back to you in a flash, looking you up and down in a calculated glance before wildly gesturing his arms towards the bed, bowing mockingly- you understood from his silent display that he wanted you to lay down. You cautiously stepped towards him, having to walk right in front of him to reach the bed. “O-ok, I'm laying down now. Just tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, I'm trying to follow your orders as best as I can but it can be difficult when you aren't actually speaking to me.”, you muttered quietly, not wanting to anger him but also needing him to at least know that you were trying your best in your current predicament- although you wanted nothing more than to kick him in his crotch and subdue him long enough to get away, you genuinely did not want to upset him after his little “demonstration” earlier, and you certainly were in no shape now to get too far if you tried anything. You winced as you sat down, reminded that you indeed were still very injured and needed to be cautious whenever you moved. Adjusting your aching legs along the length of the thin mattress, you looked up to notice 2 watching your every move like a hawk, almost studying you as if you were a research project. You became very self conscious in that moment as the blush in your cheeks reignited, your mind recalling the way he stood over you when he had you pressed up against the wall in the lobby. You cursed yourself out in your thoughts, embarrassed and disappointed in yourself that your body still reacted that way even after the pain he had just caused you.

Apparently satisfied with what you did, 2 dramatically kicked his shoes off, landing with a loud thump against the door, before he ultimately moved to the other side of the bed, sliding in next to you and tossing the blanket over you both. You were frozen, paralyzed by his closeness. You tried not to look at him and just sat still, subconsciously turning your upper body ever so slightly away from him. The green glow of his mask still invaded your peripheral view, a constant reminder of your situation. Not happy with the lack of attention on him, 2 snapped his arm out and wrenched your uninjured hand away from your chest, interlocking his fingers with yours and pulling your arm directly to his side under the covers. The sudden movement jostled your injury a bit, causing you to bite your lip to hold back another humiliating whimper. You were sure that the bastard was grinning wide under his disguise, his grin most likely matching the shit-eating one that remained forever plastered across the mask. You realized he was most likely holding your hand as just another way of mocking you, but also as a way of making sure you didn't leave the bed if he fell asleep- he would instantly know if you tried to escape his grip. To mock you even further, 2 acted as if you were a married couple getting ready for bed, grasping your chin and turning your head to look at him again as he leaned up and quickly mushed the mouth of his mask against your cheek, pretending to give you a goodnight kiss before leaning over and turning off the light. The darkness offered a new sense of growing dread that traveled up your spine, not being able to fully comprehend that you were alone and injured in a dark abandoned building with a deranged and unpredictable man.

You attempted to keep yourself awake as long as you could despite being absolutely beyond exhausted, wanting to regain your thoroughly depleted energy but also scared of what the man might do if he noticed that you were asleep. Your body ultimately overpowered your mind, succumbing to the exhaustion as your eyes fell closed, the last thing you remember seeing was that sickening glow of green along with the lingering sensation of 2’s thin but strong arm leaning against the side of your body.

[mooreaux]

Silly questions ahoy. Sorry not sorry.

Who fell first, Deirdre or Gale?

Who fell harder?

Were there any things outside of the main romance plot beats that they had to overcome?

Do they have a Big Waterdhavian Wedding?

Well here is a real time pic of them realizing simultaneously that they were already neck deep in a romance without having clocked it up until that very moment

So much more rambling under the cut!

Deirdre and Gale started off as respectful colleagues. He had his little ‘o wow a warlock huh’ and she had her little ‘yeah what of it wizard boy?’ Both incredibly polite about it of course. They gravitated to one another immediately because they are both well read and spoken and kinda looked at the rest of their companions like

So in actuality they buddied up and then got teased relentlessly for being like an old married couple when neither one of them was even in the realm of romantic attraction. Gale because…. Bomb In Chest. And Deirdre having an internal incredibly well hidden behind bardic shenanigans PTSD nightmare from the horrors she witnessed during her imprisonment in Menzoberranzan.

It was only when they started sharing their magic; the weave scene, and the pic above with Dede sharing some fey vibes, that they started to shift from platonic to romantic. I would say Gale fell a little harder and faster because he just seems like that kind of person to me? Like he knows all the reasons he shouldn’t and that kinda unconsciously eggs him on even more. I’d say the crisis with Mystra’s order thru Elminster pushed them both into taking the step of actually admitting feelings tho. Dede couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. Especially to himself.

As for the last two questions… yeah. Gale’s big grand gestures got them into a bit of hot water during and post game. His constant need to prove himself worried Deirdre a lot about his self worth beyond what he could do for her. She had to go through a lot of talks with him to let him know he was enough. Just him. As he was. No magic or pageantry even tho she loves that about him too.

And of course, Dede has a TON of intimacy issues. A lot was done to her without her consent thru her life. Tadpole being the most recent offense. So she doesn’t really like surprises and has a hard time letting people in. Which is funny considering how bright and bombastic her personality is. She uses it mainly to cover the hurt. Not to say she isn’t well adjusted. She spent many many years with her patron working thru the stuff the lolthsworn drow did to her. Tadpole just kinda inflamed the wound again.

So yeah! I think it was actually several years before he even proposed. And several more after that until they got married. But the wedding was HUGE. Her family is gigantic and they have a wide social circle with the folk of Waterdeep, and Baldur’s Gate, and the Druid Grove which they still frequently visited. Gale went above and beyond constructing a castle out of flowers just for the occasion (dedes Patron helped).

Thank u so much for the ask Harding! I love my gnome gal (and i luv urs too)

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

TABAXI

VS LEONIN

Yeah, we're doing both the cats right away like we did with the types of elves and gnomes. And yes, they both likely have small blunt "barbs" on thier penises, same material as your fingernails. Most mammels have them, it's not that shocking. Even humans sometimes have very tiny vestigial ones, since we used to have them too.

Tabaxi are cat folk created by the divine Cat Lord! Stealthy, perceptive, and quick, they were created to be exactly as they appear: curious human-sized cats. Playful hunters, wanderers, and the terror of a cat that can hold a knife. As of the MPMM they can range from the size of a halfling to a bit larger than a human, and their personality is as varied as thier coat color. Many have adapted to civilization perfectly fine, ignoring their divine purpose of "be normal cat but with opposable thumbs." But oh Lord of Cats, it seems you forgot: there is nothing more catlike than doing exactly what they weren't supposed to.

Leonin are lion people! These are 6-7 ft (1.8-2.1 m) tall, strong, bold, confident, and surprisingly forgiving. People think they're short tempered, but they're really just looking for an excuse to wrestle, argue, or fight. Any sort of battle of wit or body to challenge themselves with. They don't hold grudges, likely because they're so confident that insults don't hurt them, just prove your opinion worthless. Their claws are also retractable, and they do have a loud (and frightening) roar!