#Will try to be faster

[mistmarigold]

What if Sunjae didn’t die that night Part 4 (lovely runner au)

[Read Part 1, 2, and 3 here.]

When you are in the spotlight, things have a way of getting out of control. So it came as no surprise to Sunjae when the rumour about his retirement was already out before his work meeting.

“It’s just a rumour, right? You don’t intend on actually quitting?”

Sunjae was asked by the director. Strangely enough, he was no longer sure about the retirement. And so, he remained silent. However, at his apathy, Inhyuk had stormed off.

Unbeknownst to Inhyuk, Sunjae’s fingers had been strumming against the table on an invisible tune and it didn’t go unnoticed. Thankfully, he was neither asked nor pressured about it but it gave him the leeway for the meeting to end without a resolution (once again).

Putting away his phone and the article that he was skimming through, he shuffled through his apartment looking for a pen and paper. It had been a long while since he wanted to write so he no longer kept these things in sight.

At last, he finally found a scrap of paper - a bill, no less - and grabbed a marker to quickly jot down words and phrases. Soon enough, the entire white of the paper was a mess of black scribbles that only made sense to him. He sighed and kept it away - neatly - to get back to it later and was about to head to the kitchen for some water when he realised his phone had been constantly buzzing.

He picked it up on Sol’s fourth message.

“It’s not true, right? Sunjae isn’t retiring, right?”

“I’m so sorry for texting you, I promised I wouldn’t, can you please just give me a hint?”

“This is the last message, I won’t bother you again. Is Sunjae doing okay?”

A small smile took over his face. Of course, she’d be concerned about him. At this point, he should stop being surprised - even if everything she does comes as a surprise to him.

It isn’t just that she cares for him, but more that it feels like an overdue acknowledgment that he never expected to receive. That the person who he has felt so unbelievably guilty towards, the person he has yearned for more than 15 years, is physically jn his orbit and that she cares for him enough to give him her sunflowers.

“He is doing okay, right?” Another message came through.

Sunjae wanted to respond properly but at the same time he didn’t want to be more involved in her life, lest he causes more harm to her. As much as Sol stirs up his soul, he didn’t want to impose on her life in any other capacity other than neighbour-turned-celebrity she knows him for. It was safer that way.

A pang of hurt went through him at the thought of never being able to meet Sol again but he felt at peace that she will be safe from him. After all, nothing would’ve happened to her if he had just woken her up at their stop that night.

Sunjae opened her message and sent a quick thumbs up reaction - nothing more, nothing less.

He didn’t want to be in her life, but he wished she’d remain in his. That she would text him again, and again, and again. He wanted to see all of her smiles - when she’s shy, when she’s truly happy, when she’s excited. But at the same time, he knew that with every instance between them, it would get harder and harder to let go of her. Staying away from Sol, it felt as if he was going against his nature. Almost as if the entire world had colluded to push him towards her and he was wasting his time trying to resist.

His gaze goes back to the scrap of paper he had been writing on, so he kept his phone aside and went back to it.

If he couldn’t say all the things he wanted to say to Sol as Sunjae, he would do it as Ryu Sunjae. Either way, she will know his words and he hoped that would be enough for him.

*

Later that night, Sunjae held up his end of the deal. He texted Sol a picture of her sunflowers - now preserved in a resin cover for a small notebook.

What he didn’t send was the small resin pendant with preserved sunflowers that had become part of his daily wardrobe, hidden to the world but he knew it was there, embodying Sol’s presence in his life for all the years that had gone by and yet to come.

—

Part 5 here.

[stuckinapril]

Honestly the cliche advice is true. If you fill your life w things you’re passionate about, if you challenge yourself every day, if you give your own opinion of yourself more weight than you do other people’s opinions of you, you will actually thrive. Like no one can tell u anything

[itsnicsalad]

grom lumity redraw bc my school ball was on saturday^^ second slide was from 2020

[pand1on]

learned helplessness

[shhroomer]

omg kahl broflobster !?

[teamunee]

some hoyo headshots 💪

[erabu-san]

Burning going to be my new gender i afraid

+ a doodle i made yesterday before sleeping

[transmechanicus]

Polyamory is not inherently bad or toxic, it just has higher demands on time and energy to manage multiple relationships, which means people who would arguably struggle to manage an entirely mono relationship are going to struggle even more in a poly one, and due to the interlocking relationships and elevated public scrutiny, that’s going to be viewed as much messier than it would otherwise.

[tilthedayidice]

God dammit I forgot I had this installed...

[spookygibberish]

Smile

[cryptidclownz]

their cat got out

[fizpup]

requests but it's just the g4 unicorns

@affetrollkarl here is my take on tempest 🤣

[neytui]

I wanted to do him in a lil more detailed style

andddd

Peter Pan Jack :) cuz it makes too much sense too me

I actually want to do something with this one. It's with the 2003 movie adaptation, I almost lost it watching it

[shevr]

workout mix

[mapletine]

play that funky music elf boy

i think if u handed him any musical instrument thistle would figure out how to play it within the hour, and play it fairly well too

not the otamatone tho bless him LOL

+ extras and closeups

wasn’t the biggest fan of how this one turned out so it has been relegated to the bottom + super otomatone closeup bc i think it’s funny

[fiyaharts]

the only way to escape batman is to confuse the hell out of him

(i couldn't stop thinking about this bit from psych - under the cut!)