#WiT

[karlathewitch]

Or Kelsier appears and adopts Shallan immediatelly.

kowt prediction: hoid is going to get custody of shallan in the jaswit divorce

[fippydarkpaw]

[madxmellon]

Please take my random Stormlight memes while I wait for KOWT

[whimsicallywiddershins]

Hoid, wandering around Roshar for whatever reason.

Random Person: "Oh yeah, those crazy Lighteyes. They have a person who's job it is to just sit around and insult all the nobles. It's illegal to kill him, but he sure gets assassinated a lot."

Hoid: ...

Hoid: "My time has come."

[oscyrich]

Marilyn Monroe on how she kept her figure: “By eating spaghetti — and I do enjoy a good massage every so often.”

• Welcome to The Oscy Rich Lounge •

[avidabsurdist]

Laughing crying and throwing up rn

I'm reading through the one star reviews of Yumi and the Nightmare painter and OH MY GOD

The sheer number of people who probably DNFed this book because of the "narrator" being annoying/condescending/long-winded is HILARIOUS

Wit is actively giving Brandon Sanderson a bad name, I didn't realize people who weren't familiar with our walking clown show would probably be uncomfortable with him talking down to you.

And rightfully so!

These are SO VALID omfg, I can't stop laughing.

[queen-kassiopeia-the-5th]

Ok but chapter 80 of RoW is comedy gold!

Kaladin is litteraly dying, gets draged into the dream world equivalent of a NASCAR pitstop by Wit, begs him for a story, and Hoid goes: "Thank Adonalsium I was begging for someone to ask me for a story for centuries. Here's one! What? You don't know what a dog or a dragon is? Idiot!"

And ten seconds later his own Spren, playing copywrited music in the back, is like: "BTW this story sucks lol."

Hoid gets pissed off at her ruining his drama, so she does the Spren equivalent of flipping his off. So he turns to Kaladin like to the camera in the Office: "can you believe the conditions I have to work in?!"

Meanwhile Kal is doing his best to eat some dream stew and not get a full blow panic attack.

[spookiest-semic]

“honor is not dead so long as he lives in the hearts of men”

“life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination”

“You are not worse for your association with the world, but it is better for its association with you”

Three stormlight quotes that genuinely help me move in my day to day life

[cosmerelists]

Pros and Cons of Stormlight Characters in the Middle Seat Next to You on a Budget Airline.

As requested by anon. :)

1. Kaladin

Cons: His legs are so long. His hair is so luxurious. His shoulders are so broad. This large, beautiful man is not trying to be in your space, but the budget airline seat cannot contain him. Pros: You started what you thought was an idle conversation, but by the end of your flight, he had diagnosed your chronic pain and become your therapist??

2. Shallan

Pros: Well, she's more of a regular-sized human and she's friendly but quiet. She seems to just want to sketch the whole flight, so no complaints! Cons: Why does she keep staring directly at a space across the plane and sketching the creepiest symbol-headed creatures you've ever seen with her eyes vaguely glazed over like she doesn't even know she's doing it holy shit is this a Twilight Zone situation where there are invisible gremlin monsters on this plane that only she can see and is it your imagination or do you hear humming from somewhere

3. Adolin

Cons: Listen, this is a budget airline, and this guy seems to think it's a fancy spa?? He's got the slippers, the posh eye mask, the luxurious travel pillow, some really nice face creams, and he seems to be video chatting with a girl even though the internet on the plane doesn't even work. Frankly, you're jealous and grouchy about it. Pros: Okay, he actually seems really sweet and he gave you some of his way-too-nice-for-an-airplane snacks. You take it all back; this guy is awesome.

4. Szeth

Pros: He is so still. So quiet. Almost folded in on himself. Barely...breathing? Honestly, you keep forgetting the middle seat is occupied, and how rare is that! Cons: You just...you think you'd feel better if he just blinked. Just once. Please.

5. Lift

Cons: You had to sigh just a little when a little kid plopped down next to you. Also, she goes to the bathroom every five minutes, and comes back with food every time. You think she might be robbing people. Pros: She complimented your butt quite sincerely. You've always been kinda self-conscious about your butt! But apparently yours is the "second best she's ever seen." Feels nice.

6. Jasnah

Pros: Like, is it possible for someone to just be really good at flying? She came in, expertly stowed her luggage, sat down elegantly, did her seatbelt, used a wipe to clean up the tray table and surrounding area, and immediately starting reading some thick tome. Do you have a crush on her? You might have a crush on her. Cons: She glanced at the book you're reading, and you know she judged you for it.

7. Wit

Cons: Does this guy EVER stop talking? Pros: Okay, actually, you found him kind of annoying at first, but that story he told you about the temple and the duck might have healed years of trauma? Did you just realize that you don't have to forgive your mom and that's okay?

8. Renarin

Pros: He sat down and you were like, "Okay. Cute nerd. I dig it." Cons: You just wish he wouldn't scrawl foreboding-seeming numerals on the back of the airline chair in front of him. Is it counting down to...just before the plane lands? What does it mean???

9. Amarem

Cons: He came in and was IMMEDIATELY like, "I am taller than you and so I should have your seat." And then he just...waited? Like he thought you'd just comply??? Pros: He seems intent on pretending that never happened. Fine by you. That guy seems like an asshole.

10. Zahel

Pros: He falls asleep, like, immediately and doesn't stir for the entire flight. Cons: He's just kinda stinky.

11. Dalinar

Cons: He sits down and, unprompted, says something like, "In my youth I would always battle to occupy every armrest but now, after reading The Way of Planes, I have realized that it is the journey, not the armrests, that matter, so you can have them" and then you're like, "Dude, the person in the middle seat gets the armrests that's just common courtesy" and then he looks at you and you look at him and it's vaguely awkward the whole flight and nobody uses the armrests. Pros: Actually, after a while you do take the armrest and the tension goes down a lot.

12. Taravangian

Pros: He just kinda seems like a nice old man, you know? Kinda confused about stuff, but harmless enough. Cons: He falls asleep partway through and droops his head onto your shoulder and drools a bit and you know you sound ridiculous but it feels somehow calculated. Intentional. Evil.

13. Sebarial

Cons: The very second beverage service starts he's all, "Bring me a BOTTLE of wine" and you're like, "Oh no. It's one of those dudes who gets way too drunk on planes!" Pros: You know? This guy actually seems pretty jolly and chill. You catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pretend he was my uncle." You're not sure where that came from.

14. Rock

Pros: He scoffs at the provided airline snacks and gets out this thermos and gives you the best damn soup you've ever had in your life. Cons: He's just a large, warm man. Very large. Very warm. Not his fault, of course, but now YOU are very warm.

15. Elhokar

Cons: Every time there is plane turbulence, he mutters something about how it's the assassins coming to finish the job. Poor dude must be really scared of flying. Pros: You feel a warm, parental feeling growing in you as you look at this sad, scared man. Maybe your mom was right. Maybe you WOULD be good with kids.

16. Eshonai

Pros: This lady is, just, SO excited to be traveling that it can't help but make YOU excited to travel. Like, you always thought plane travel sucked, especially budget airline travel, be she is so delighted by everything that you find yourself thinking, "You know, it IS pretty amazing that we're soaring through the sky right now traveling to a new land." Cons: Cons? No cons. You wish you could ALWAYS see flying through this woman's eyes.

[zegalba]

SeMin: Zipper Hair (2023)

[tyresw]

My stormlight hot take is that hoid's jokes are frequently just as cringey and bad as shallan's and people only hate on shallan for it because she is deliberately written as a naive child in large large world where hoid is mr cool who knows so much and is very clever, his jokes must be better because he says them with complete confidence

The thing is, I love both of their jokes even at their cringiest. They show incredible amounts of character and just because a joke doesn't hit as funny, that doesn't mean it doesn't create the effect desired by the author

[pratchettquotes]

"Why don't you just crawl back into your coffin and die, you slimy little maggot," Agnes said. It wasn't that good, but impromptu insults are seldom well crafted.

Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

[ohhhmio]

i hated how when i finished The Way of Kings, my favorite character ended up being that one dude that appears literally only three times in the past 1k pages. and like, everyone else is so amazing, so determined, so admirable, so cool—and then there's Wit, who can pop out after disappearing for 400 pages and make me gush like an annoying prepubescent teenager who just read their first wattpad romance book. Wit, my dude, my silly, goofy, mysterious little assassination target... I love you, but fuck you, man.

And then I pick up Words of Radiance, looking for him, once again, and this shit frosted asshole appears literally on around page 600. it makes me question why I like him. wtf did he do to me? why would i like him? was it the flute? it was the flute, wasn't it? I mean, he's as loved as a cockroach, has the attitude of a fucking onion, and is already three times what's already twice an ass. again, thank you for making me happy, but fuck you, dude.

[humanfox030]

I have just the story for you! ✨

[whimsicallywiddershins]

One of my favorite things in all the Stormlight Archives is when Wit insults the hell out of Amaram in Words of Radiance. It's when he is still the "Commander of the Knights Radiant" and Wit just fucking roasts him. Like three pages of insults. I think Wit really likes Kaladin. We know he tells him stories and gives him important gifts, but this made me think Wit really is very fond of Kaladin, and is angry on his behalf. Wit even loses some of his joking demeanor at the end and his voice goes "solemn."

This moment that makes me think Wit hates Amaram for making Kaladin a slave and making his life hell, then swarming up and claiming the Knight Radiant title. Wit likes Kaladin, and here is the man who took everything from him, stealing his rightful title and causing him so much pain just by existing.