#Why can't school essays be this easy to write?

[beforetimes]

transmigrator luo binghe au where he's been an ardent reader of pidw for so long. like from first year in high school to third year in university it's been stretching. and he's fallen in and out of love throughout the years but the one thing that he's never shaken on is that shen qingqiu is probably the most one-sided evil character he's ever read in his life. like it's comical how much bad this guy will get up to but he's so easy to hate.

binghe tragically dies and wakes up as luo binghe, pure little disciple shortly after shen qingqiu's brought him up to the mountain and dumped tea on his head. and if this was the original luo binghe, he would have sat back and taken it and eventually gone batshit nuts as the original intended.

this binghe knows that trying to be nice and do his best doesn't do shit. so he starts engaging in what some would call mild psychological warfare and many verbal sparring matches with shen qingqiu.

this starts with pulling pranks that can't be traced back to him from experience doing such in the modern world with a little sister that ning yingying reminds him of before eventually escalating as he grows older to the kindest, most polite fluffed up words being used exclusively to talk to his shizun with. they both know that binghe absolutely does not mean them. but it's so fun to go back and forth with the scum villain

like, pidw has made a great point of stressing how much of a dick shen qingqiu was but the novel never mentioned how funny he was. a quarter of binghe's verbal repertoire is from catching snags of conversations shen qingqiu has with liu qingge and yue qingyuan and pretty much every other peak lord. there's an art to crafting benign sentences that have insults weaved into them.

now, shen qingqiu, in another version of this world? intensely abusive. not a good guy by a long shot. in this world? his smart mouthed disciple who went from meek and shy to immediately getting on the defensive and hitting back after shen qingqiu dumps tea on his head is more than enough to throw him off from his initial plans.

because, like, he's not sure why he hated luo binghe immediately upon seeing him. maybe because luo binghe reminds him of himself but acts so damn weak that it drives him to lash out. but this one bites back, has teeth and uses them, refuses to give an inch and can honestly stand up well enough. it's intriguing, sue him! almost every single other disciple on this mountain is too scared to speak to him with any degree of familiarity, while luo binghe acts as though there's no real social conventions between them while very carefully pretending to adhere to them.

like shen qingqiu has picked up on the fact that it's definitely on purpose that luo binghe is polite in class but only makes needling little remarks like "this one apologizes for the subpar performance, begging shizun's forgiveness. the composition of the piece is unique and this one only knows how to play more conventional pleasant melodies expertly." outside of class and away from anyone he could lose face around. longest way to call shen qingqiu's sheet music dogshit that he's ever heard. it's almost funny

but, at the same time—so disrespectful! he has to punish him somehow. laps hardly work because luo binghe is a physical cultivator and actually quite benefits from the exercise which is the last thing he wants to do. and writing essays also doesn't work because luo binghe just squeezes in more little asides like "this one has reflected on his actions and expresses guilt should it please shizun" and "this disciple was stupid for the assumption that the scholarly peak would appreciate my current language, in the future this one will persevere to wield shizun's teachings to the best of my ability."

so, next best thing; shen qingqiu makes luo binghe act as his personal hand. making dishes, cleaning the home, basically treating him like a de facto servant in all but name. luo binghe is more than used to the amount of chores he gets assigned during to living on his own during university and finds it almost? relaxing!

but the proximity to shen qingqiu leads to luo binghe getting a far different view of the man than he's ever read or seen yet: a human one.

which, like, luo binghe wasn't under the impression that every single person he met in this world would remain two dimensional book characters but he wasn't expecting to see it happen with shen qingqiu. there's a world of difference in seeing shen qingqiu during an argument with yue qingyuan and seeing the immediate aftermath, mask of a face stuttering to reveal a deeply troubled expression before he's wearing that infuriating—manufactured?—ice cold demeanour again. and making breakfast in the morning just to see how long it takes for shen qingqiu to come outside of his room, reminding him far too much of his old roommates depressive episodes where he's left laying in bed until duty drags him out. and he notices how no one visits and shen qingqiu is almost always alone and when peak lords do visit it's to needle at him or start fights or official business and nothing much inbetween. and luo binghe knows it's not an excuse to abuse him but he hasn't been whipped yet and everything bad that's happened so far hasn't been that bad at all. so now he's stuck with this realization that shen qingqiu is real and he's going to be here for a long few years. wouldn't it be in his best interest to try and make things more bearable for himself by making shen qingqiu a bit happier?

which. he doesn't know how to do that. so he tries a bit of everything. a lot of his ideas don't work and inspire more ire in shen qingqiu than he was expecting. so luo binghe decides to try being on his best behaviour. the picture of a perfect disciple when they go out on a trip down the mountain to deal with disappearances and a possible demon.

shen qingqiu is probably the most annoyed he's ever been then. snapping at him more, barking commands, insulting him to his face in front of the juniors he's brought along, because for some reason, luo binghe is the only disciple who isn't new and fresh who's been brought along for this trip.

everything to do with the skinner demon sucks. luo binghe always feels some sort of amusement or annoyance when it comes to shen qingqiu's jabs but he actually feels hurt this time. getting captured is the last straw—the trip up the mountain is dead silent and shen qingqiu lays into him unlike before behind closed doors, a few comments about false faces and idiotic attempts to manipulate thrown in there. and luo binghe is 100% expecting to get whipped for this before shen qingqiu just. tells him he'll be confined to the side room in the bamboo house until the morning. and nothing else.

luo binghe doesn't try to test his luck: he shuts his disciple ass up and listens. and wakes up the next morning to greet shen qingqiu with a tea and a mild comment about undue stress to the vocal cords leading to ailments and won't he try this honeyed tea he liked as a small child because (this he doesn't say out loud) it feels fitting for the situation? and shen qingqiu is stiff shouldered until this comment and they both continue onwards as though the mission never happened.

and etc etc etc. i will expand on this later trust. but if you want anything specific elaborated on just shoot me an ask :^)

[merakiui]

OHSHC AU where reader breaks a precious arrifact from one of the dorms maybe all but instead of repaying the huggeeee debt with hours of labour she has to pay with her body and can’t refuse :)

every kink in the book is used as she’s pleading with the dorm leaders for mercy, crying about forgiveness but all they can hear is that her mouth is very wide open and needs to be replaced with a cock or gag </3 poor reader doesn’t have time to take birth control! and none of the students at nrc know what condoms are oopsies!! imagine savanaclaw in their heat … oh boy rip her pussy! she’ll never know a peaceful day until graduation but even then one of the dorm leaders might take her with them to spend forever with them

Omg yes,,, ohshc au, but it's freaky and full of sex because those scheming boys now have a girl in their debt and that opens so many possibilities. Their methods in dealing with you would all be different, of course, but in the end you're probably getting dicked down either way. <3

I think Riddle's punishments are probably more old-fashioned. If you can't fix whatever it is you broke, then you will write lines stating that you will be more careful, that you won't break anything again, etc. Or he'll make you write an essay detailing why exactly you're sorry, why you ought to be forgiven, etc. T_T really, these are just punishments his own mother gave to him in order to push him to do better in his studies. Riddle doesn't know any better.

He thinks differently when someone like Ace or Cater offhandedly and jokingly remarks how unlucky you must feel. Good thing their Housewarden isn't some pervert, otherwise he could totally force you to give him blowjobs whenever he wanted all under the guise of "repaying your debt." Riddle is appalled. He would never stoop so low! This is Heartslabyul, not Octavinelle. >:( still, the basic concept is just a little appealing. So maybe he's got a small crush on you, and maybe it would be easier to get you to spend time with him if you had no other choice. He makes you join him for tea parties in the gardens, for games of croquet, etc. His hope is that you'll warm up to him and not feel so rigid around him. orz

Leona probably doesn't care as much about the artifact as someone like Riddle might. It has no sentimental value to him personally, so why should he be worried? Besides, it was pretty old anyway. But that doesn't mean you can get off completely innocent. You're the reason he's got more work on his plate now, what with having to deal with the Headmage squawking at him about it. He allows you to choose between two punishments: either you become Savanaclaw's errand girl and do much the same work Ruggie does around the dorm, or you spend every night literally warming his bed (i.e. let him use you as a pillow if you're going to be good and still and quiet). If you want an easy way out, you'll choose the latter. Besides, his bed is comfortable, big enough for two. And as long as you aren't a pain, he doesn't mind. (You are definitely going to be warming his bed in other ways. The innuendo in his words is not lost on Leona.)

Azul...... of course he's slimy and sleazy about it. Oh, you poor soul. How is he ever going to get over this dear, priceless artifact that you have so carelessly broke? Jade is there to oh-so-helpfully inform you of its market price and what it could currently go for if sold. And Floyd's there to poke fun at the unfortunate predicament you've found yourself in. But Azul is a resourceful octopus. He makes a grand show of contemplating what he should do with you just to watch you squirm nervously, as if he hasn't already planned it out from the very beginning. He'll capitalize on your being a girl and have you work the floor in the lounge. There's always an increase in tips and sales when you're serving the customers, and why wouldn't there be? A cute, helpless girl in a school full of boys is an appealing sight.

He's irritating, but he isn't callous! Jade and Floyd are there to look out for you in case any of the patrons get it in their heads that they ought to appreciate you through touch instead of simply staring. Your uniforms change with every new event Mostro Lounge holds. Azul knows his target audience well because he also fits into that same group LOL. So maybe the sight of you in frilly uniforms is appealing. Sue him. >_< he wants you so badly, and luckily (with you being indebted to him) he has you all to himself. :) after hours are a very fun time at the lounge.

Kalim doesn't see what the issue is. He's not mad, so please don't cry!!! 🥺 you'll make him cry if you're not happy... Jamil is just about ready to pass out while he calculates just how bad this is. And here Kalim is, not caring in the slightest! T_T but Kalim is more sympathetic towards you, not the vase you broke. Besides, he can just get another one. :D no harm done at all! There really isn't any punishment to be had. If you insist on repaying your debt, Kalim tells you it's all water under the bridge.

Jamil is the only one who insists this is a good idea, and if Jamil thinks it's fine then Kalim agrees. So now you're sort of,,, there in Scarabia. Jamil puts you to work when Kalim isn't around, but when Kalim is there he spoils you rotten. The complete opposite of a punishment. There's definitely dubious shadows to this, though. For all of the delicious foods and alcohol you consume, you wake with hazy memories, only ever recalling you looked into the eyes of...something before you fell. Was it a snake? Maybe... but Kalim is always there in the morning to smother you in affection, so maybe it's not so bad.

You are Vil's newest pet project. He goes in with metaphorical fork and knife and cuts into you with his criticism, all of which is completely valid. You were clumsy when you broke that artifact. You weren't paying attention to your surroundings. You were completely oblivious, so in your own world. Epel would feel bad for you, but finally he gets to relax just a little bit now that Vil's eyes are mostly off of him and centered on you. Vil is going to put you through a reformation of sorts. You will come out of it your best, most elegant self! A wonderful improvement from your earlier carelessness. Only then will he forgive your previous transgression.

You and Vil get on like oil and water. That is, you don't mix at all. You are subjected to curses left and right because Vil is so strict. Suddenly, you can't eat certain foods and if you try to sneak them you find they've all been cursed (courtesy of Vil). If you try to slack on the work he has you do, even when you know he's not around, somehow word gets back to Vil. That creepy hunter always seems to know everything you do even when you're alone. It's troubling. Vil likes to think his heart is an iron fortress, so it's impossible to fathom when he falls for you first (and so hopelessly, at that)!

Idia doesn't put as much value in that artifact as he does in his own anime collection. If you broke something from his collection that was limited edition, he'd be far more upset (and then proceed to pull out the second one he got as back-up for this very specific moment). But this is an easy fix, really. He has the technology to make it good as new and, if that can't be done, he can always build a new one. Upgrades are important and necessary in some cases, especially when things get too outdated. It's a little awkward having a real 3D girl in his room all the time, though. >_< kick his ass in the twst equivalent of Smash and he's looking at you in a completely different light (hearing you trash talk him is so arousing; he's never been more hard).

Let's say the thing you broke in this case was a gargoyle. You're not sure how it happened, but it's headless now and Malleus is just staring silently at you. You can't read the emotions on his face, but with the way Sebek is shouting at you to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness you think you're about to be burnt to a crisp. It's so uneasy and awkward, and all you can do is apologize profusely, insisting you didn't mean to break it. It's Lilia who comes to your rescue: "Now, now, Malleus. You'll scare the poor child if you keep frowning so. Mistakes happen, do they not?" Silver also comes to your aid, adding that it wasn't your intention to break this gargoyle. It was an accident.

So now here you are, the second member of the Gargoyle Studies Club, accompanying Malleus for club activities while he teaches you all about gargoyles so that you can gain a better appreciation for them. It was Lilia's idea in the first place. He is Malleus's unofficial wingman. One way or another, you're going to find yourself alone in the woods with Malleus while Lilia is in the bushes belting out "romantic" love ballads from the old ages. T_T someone put peepaw to bed... at the very least, it lessens the awkward tension between you and Malleus, and it even gets the both of you laughing.

[animentality]

not to be such a boomer, but I think chatgpt is fucking this generation over, at least in terms of critical thinking and creative skills.

I get that it's easy to use and I probably would've used it if I was in school when it came out.

but damn.

y'all can't just write a fucking email?

also people using it to write essays ... i mean what is the point then?

are you gaming the educational system in pursuit of survival, or are you just unwilling to engage critically with anyone or anything?

is this why media literacy is so fucking ass right now?

learning how to write is learning how to express yourself and communicate with others.

you might not be great at it, but writing can help you rearrange the ideas in your brain. the more you try to articulate yourself, the more you understand yourself. all skills can be honed with time, and the value is not in the product. it's in the process.

it's in humans expressing their thoughts to others, in an attempt to improve how we do things, by building upon foundations and evolving old ideas into innovation.

scraping together a mush of ideas from a software that pulls specific, generic phrases from data made by actual humans... what is that going to teach you or anyone else?

it's just old ideas being recycled by a new generation.

a generation I am seriously concerned about, because digital tests have made it very easy to cheat, which means people aren't just throwing away their critical thinking and problem solving abilities, but foundational knowledge too.

like what the hell is anyone going to know in the future? you don't want to make art, you don't want to understand how the world works, you don't want to know about the history of us?

is it because we all know it's ending soon anyway, or is it just because it's difficult, and we don't want to bother with difficult?

maybe it's both.

but. you know what? on that note, maybe it's whatever.

fuck it, right, let's just have an AI generate "therefore" "in conclusion" and "in addition" statements followed by simplistic ideas copy pasted from a kid who actually wrote a paper thirty years ago.

if climate change is killing us all anyway, maybe generative ai is a good thing.

maybe it'll be a digital archive of who we used to be, a shambling corpse that remains long after the consequences of our decisions catch up with us.

maybe it'll be smart enough to talk to itself when there's no one left to talk to.

it'll talk to itself in phrases we once valued, it'll make art derived from people who used to be alive and breathing and feeling, it'll regurgitate our best ideas in an earnest but hollow approximation of our species.

and it'll be the best thing we ever made. the last thing too.

I don't really believe in fate or destiny, I think all of this was a spectacular bit of luck, but that's a poetic end for us.

chatgpt does poetry.

[wheelie-sick]

I wanted to ask if I could get your personal opinion on cochlear implants as a deaf person? I'm writing an essay for my ASL class and it's really hard to find opinions about them from the deaf community. I'm very sorry if asking this is rude, you have every right to decline responding to this. Thank you for your time

okay finally getting to this ask

I have a really complicated opinion because on one hand I think the technology is really freeing for a lot of deaf people but on the other they are killing the deaf community.

cochlear implants in and of themselves are neutral technology. in a perfect world there would be no controversy because they would truly be neutral. unfortunately that is not this world. cochlear implants are used to rip deaf people (and in particular, deaf children) away from their community.

all deaf people have a right to the Deaf community, by being deaf they belong to our world.

when a baby is born deaf the first thing an audiologist will suggest is a cochlear implant. they give the suggestion in a way that implies, and sometimes outright states, that a cochlear implant will give the baby a "normal" childhood. they focus on how easy it will be for the people around that baby. no one will have to learn a sign language, no one will have to adapt their life to fit this deaf baby inside of it. the first problem comes in when cochlear implants are not magic devices that allows a person to be just like a hearing person. with a cochlear implant someone will still need a deaf life because cochlear implants are imperfect.

no one with a cochlear implant will ever live the exact same life as a hearing person. when a child grows up with parents who act like a cochlear implant is a perfect fix that child grows up traumatized by a world of people they cannot keep up with. that child grows up feeling like they are the problem for not having the same experience of hearing as everyone around them.

cochlear implant surgeries are serious surgeries which carry risks like meningitis. cochlear implants cannot be given to toddlers with consent. a toddler can't decide whether they want to risk the extensive number of complications because they are 9 months old (the age at which cochlear implants can be given to a child) parents are rarely informed of these risks and when they are they are told over and over again that this will give their child a "normal" life, an "easy" life. I have less of an issue with cochlear implants when it is a teenager or adult making the decision for themself. cochlear implant surgeries are optional, they are not medically necessary. why are we doing risky surgeries on unconsenting toddlers without a medical reason?

with all that said, cultural genocide is the true heart of the issue. audiologists push cochlear implants instead of sign language and connection to the Deaf community. they encourage parents not to raise their child in the community. they discourage Deaf school, they discourage connection with other deaf children, audiologists want an end to the Deaf community and Deaf culture. these children are not being raised bilingual-bicultural they are being denied their rightful place within the Deaf community. they are being damned to a life of isolation, a life of constantly falling behind, a life where they will never truly be accepted because society hates a deaf person with a cochlear implant just as much as they hate a deaf person without.

if that child ever decides later in life that they want connection with the Deaf community? they are behind. they once again cannot quite keep up. oralist childhoods created isolated deaf people, deaf people who have no home in either world.

the Deaf community may welcome second language signers but it is not the same as being a native signer. it is not the same as having the deep rooted connections with the community that are created by growing up within it.

I still respect the decision of deaf teens and adults to get cochlear implants. they are capable of making a choice for themself. deaf teens and adults often already have the social safety net of the Deaf community. I believe bi-bi upbringings for children can be beneficial though I have my own issues with giving any toddler a cochlear implant. I think that bi-bi childhoods are a good compromise and give deaf children access to both worlds. I don't have a problem with deaf children living in both worlds because they still have access to the Deaf community. I wish cochlear implants existed in a world that valued Deaf culture. I wish cochlear implants existed in a world where they were not a tool of cultural genocide. cochlear implants are not the problem, society is.

[yandere-daydreams]

The crazy thing is, like, as someone who works in education. The districts just don't really know what to do anymore, so they're out here like....well, what constitutes really cheating? So they're like make sure to allow some form of Ai in the classroom (just to boost graduation rates). Today during like our meeting they simply asked that we have a separate rubric for students to refer to when they use Ai to know whether they're cheating or not (which is fair but like why are we allowing it?)

Which is crazy right? Like as an institution we should be making students write and think for themselves. (Ahhh it's just so frustrating) sorry I saw your last post and I was like you get it because there's some English teachers that I work with that are like no no it's a really good tool or some math teachers that actually promote using photomath.

I had no idea that people were publishing books with Ai, though! That's insane :( It's honestly scary because why can't people just think for themselves? I understand Ai isn't going away, but at the same time, I feel like there should be heavy regulations and not companies seeing this as easy money to market into educational tools

Sorry to be ranting in your asks!

no anon you're right and you should say it,,, cheating was definitely pretty normalized when i was in high school and i was absolutely not a perfect angel, but i can't imagine what it's like for kids now. they've got adults on all sides telling them it's cool and smart to never try even a little at anything you'll ever do in life and that trying to get out of every mundane task you'll ever be asked to do is Good Actually, and it just,,,, can't be good for their sense of motivation. society is buckling under its own weight and the world is burning. we could at least make them feel like the essay they wrote for third-period english matters.

[writeouswriter]

Genuinely don't understand people who don't want to actually think about and analyze what they read or want to use AI to write their essays, gonna be honest, I'd kill to be writing an essay right now, I'm dying to be in an environment where actually being able to delve into and lay out my thoughts on a work would mean something, have some effect or actual outside accountability or reward in the form of further understanding through review and working toward a further tangible goal, like genuinely if you don't want to learn the subject material, why are you paying to take these courses, I mean, it's one thing to be a disillusioned high school student who feels forced into an assignment and wants the easy way out, which, don't be that guy, even if you're struggling, trying to work through and pinpoint why is better than just trying to ignore it, but it's another thing when like this is your life, this is what you chose to do, what you're working towards and you don't want to do it properly, like do you genuinely want to go through life without ever having a single fully formed thought float through your head again? I'm being real, are you so dependent on AI or things like that, you've conditioned yourself to literally be unable to think for yourself, form opinions, understand text or deeper meaning or anything, that's how things get bad EVERYWHERE, that's how you get a misinformed population of the blind leading the blind, easily susceptible people who can't understand why we shouldn't create the torment nexus or why the leopards eating faces party would eat their face, too, like, yes, I remember procrastinating assignments, yes the school system is flawed, it's focused too largely on memory and rigid structures and etc., but this isn't the solution, if anything it's only further deepening the already existing issues of only caring about tests and end results, but in the end, if you play into it, it's not the system that's failed you, it's common sense. You can be better, you can do better, work smarter not harder does not mean don't work at all, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, don't hold yourself back, let yourself be capable of discovering things even through struggling and making mistakes, let yourself be capable of being smart.

[henrysglock]

The Dustin Experiment—Review

Rating: 2/5 Author: J.L. D'Amato

The Dustin Experiment was an unexpectedly easy read, especially coming off The Silmarillion. It's marketed as a young adult novel, but it's something I would have read as a fifth grader. I finished it, notes and all, in under 4 hours. I even handed it off to my mother, fearing my "good at reading" autism—paired with the fact that my father majored in literature, meaning advanced books were the status-quo in my household growing up as a result—was the culprit. She pegged it as a sixth grade novel within the first couple of pages. I'm not sure if it was the fault of Random House's categorization or the declining literacy rate in the States, but I was definitely expecting a plot that was a little more complex, or at least characters whose motivations were more complex.

The novel follows Dustin through the first semester of high school, specifically through a regional science fair that neither Lucas or Mike want to participate in with him. Along the way, the fraying relationships between the remaining Party members are explored, as well as the foundations of Dustin's bond with Eddie—who offers to be Dustin's ride to the science fair.

I can't say the book didn't deliver exactly that. However, I do have a few criticisms.

One: The editing

There were certain instances in the book where I couldn't believe D'Amato's editor didn't offer a correct of some kind.

Repetition 1. Claudia starts a running bit about Dustin electrocuting himself. It's funny the first time (page 28). But when Eddie says the exact same thing just a few pages later (page 34)—without a justifiable reason, because Eddie is not like a parent to Dustin, he's an older brother figure, so even using it as a parallel wouldn't make sense—it feels tired. When Claudia reuses the exact bit a couple chapters later, it's far overdone (page 60). 2. Max's social withdrawal over Billy's death is mentioned right away (page 3), and it's brought up in full no less than six times throughout the 290 page novel (pages 10, 87, 118 (x2!), and 237). "Max has been absent ever since Billy's death last year" should have been brought up once, maybe twice, and then left to the reader's memory afterward. 3. Interdimensional monsters is another one. This is the "interdimensional monsters" show. It doesn't need to be blatantly said more than twice. Alas, it's referenced in full no less than six times throughout the story (pages 2, 3, 41, 132, 159, and 166). Again, overkill. 4. There were some odd phrases that repeated word for word, specifically about Claudia having grown up in Hawkins. These ^^ are just the most blatant/egregious examples. I felt like I was reading an essay where the author was struggling to meet a word limit, and I'm not sure why someone proofreading this book wouldn't catch that. If this is supposed to be a young adult book, then make it young adult writing. Hell, Dustin and Suzie are reference reading Neuromancer—an adult book—but even if this book had been intended for kids, kids aren't stupid. There was too much hand-holding overall for a Stranger Things story. Show, don't tell.

Callbacks The author is trying entirely too hard to reference the TV show and flex knowledge of the 80s. Mr. Mom makes an appearance, there's a reference to black widow spiders being scary and dangerous (but no mention from Dustin the Science Nerd about how the fear is unfounded because black widows are largely docile until provoked), a reference to the exact month Ghostbusters came out on VHS, so on and so forth within this general vibe of trying too hard.

Grammar There were numerous instances of clunky phrasing, incorrect use of punctuation (specifically overuse of commas and unwillingness to use semicolons where semicolons would have worked best), and overlooked issues with italics (like on page 216, when the show Dynasty is italicized...along with the rest of the phrase it appears in. Or the paragraph on page 32 where, like, every sixth word is italicized). This is particularly ironic given the two pages at the start of Chapter 14 wherein Mike corrects Dustin's grammar. Again, I'm not sure how an editor would have missed all these instances. Also, there's a line of dialogue for Lucas that's ripped directly from a tumblr post. Dead fucking ass. Mike, Lucas, and Dustin are discussing horror movie protags doing stupid things, and Lucas says that the protags "don't have the luxury of being genre aware". I've reblogged that exact post at least once this year. I mean, come on. It does make the too-detailed moments about the 80s ironic, though. Comes off as the author trying so hard to be "relatable" that the vibe of the 80s is lost despite having the details that supposedly "prove" she knows the 80s.

Two: The characterization

The only characters that felt true were Steve, Robin, and Claudia. I'm sorry, but it's true. Dustin felt like a caricature of himself, at once totally self-absorbed—bordering on genuinely narcissistic at times—and weirdly socially conscious. He criticizes Lucas for joining basketball without understanding the social context of that choice, but then turns around and uses modern speak about basketball being "a pointless ritual glorifying outdated ideals of masculinity" to do that criticizing. Dustin is particularly angry in this novel, which isn't really supported by the show. Even when he's being abandoned in ST3, he doesn't show it very outwardly (or at least he doesn't do it often). Also, Dustin refers to D’art as a monster at least twice. He would not fucking say that, or whatever the kids are saying these day.

The author makes numerous callbacks to The First Shadow (like Dustin being encouraged to join drama club/try out for the school play/musical, and referenced to both his parents having grown up in Hawkins), but she doesn't manage to get the characterizations of either Walter Henderson or Alan Munson right. Walter in TFS is quite devoted to Claudia, to the point of snapping at Henry just for referring to her as a "chick". I never pegged him as the type to cheat on her. Alan, on the other hand, is referenced as having smacked Eddie around in anger. This isn't consistent with any version of Alan. TFS Alan is a sensitive theater boy who's very good at empathizing and showing compassion to those who may not "deserve" it (like Jim Hopper's asshole dad, who is re-framed by Alan as a single dad trying his best). In Flight of Icarus, Alan is an absentee deadbeat who's largely a coward. He'll let Eddie take the fall for his schemes, but as far as I recall, there are no mentions of him abusing Eddie physically.

On another note, The basketball team. They are way too active as bullies—especially Jason. I feel like the author forgot that these are Hawkins' golden boys. Jason has an image to protect, and he doesn't go after Eddie/the nerds unless he's provoked. Having the team pelt Dustin and Mike with basketballs no less than three times is not only overkill, it's also out of character. Actively bullying Dustin and Mike physically feels "below" the basketball team—the same way that stepping on El's project is a low for Angela, who prefers verbal bullying, and the milkshake scene is a provoked incident because El is perceived as having gotten Angela in trouble.

I'm aware that these novels are not meant to be strictly canon, but all this feels like the author was missing source material and the editor didn't care enough to catch it.

This ^^ extends into canonicity issues overall, the largest of which serves to demonize Lucas.

Lucas is written as having missed all of first semester Hellfire club specifically for basketball stuff. There's really no mention of that in filmed canon—in fact, the tournament is positioned as the first time Lucas has to miss Hellfire. Lucas is also in the club's yearbook picture, shirt and all, which heavily implies that he was in Hellfire from the start along with Dustin and Mike.

Lucas's absence is used to villainize him in Dustin's eyes, and we don't ever get a real apology from Dustin about how he treated Lucas on account of basketball. The two make up, but it's in the way of "we were both assholes". No! Lucas was not in the wrong, here! Dustin has been a self-absorbed the asshole, and he acknowledges as much mentally! If the author had leaned into "Dustin feels weird taking responsibility for xyz reasons", fleshing out Dustin as a character, then I could give it a pass. Without that....it just feel like finding a way to create an object for Dustin's ire, with Lucas being the easy fall guy.

Having Lucas so easily and willingly "ditch" his friends is also antithetical to the Lucas we see in ST5, who's trying so hard to make everything work out re: the tournament. The Lucas in this book had already given up on making both groups mesh, regardless of the fact that Dustin showed up for one of his practices. (Which, Lucas making baskets and fitting easily into the team? When he's a bench warmer canonically? Doesn't make sense. If you've ever been a bench warmer on a school team sport, you know what I mean.)

There's also mention of Will, Jon, and El all being seen as the "weird" kids from Indiana, and everyone in Cali treating them like freaks. El is the only one we see being treated like a freak. Jon has a friend, and he's never shown being bullied. Will is a wallflower, we're never shown him being mistreated.

Riddle me this: Is Will being treated like a weirdo, or is he avoiding being treated like a weirdo by freezing up on El when she needs him most? Can't have it both ways.

I also found it ironic that the author had Will lecturing Dustin on communication, when he himself does not communicate well. Like oh, so you're saying he's a hypocrite? If that was the author's intent, I'd call it a sexy move, but it was painted as Will being "wise". Alas.

The same goes for D'Amato having Dustin tell Will that everything has crumbled without him. This is not the case. Everything has crumbled because Lucas is absent. The Party has always been fine without Will. It has always suffered without Lucas. ST1 will tell you that. So, unless the author's intent was to highlight Dustin not being able to accept that Lucas is the missing linchpin and him pushing that "blame", so to speak, onto Will's absence, then....okay. Sexy move. However, with Dustin being so openly and over-explainedly frustrated about Lucas "ditching" them/how him drifting away is causing so much grief, I can't imagine that kind of nuanced subtext was the goal in mind.

Three: The plot

My biggest beef with the plot is the Indianapolis science fair saboteur plot. The ending was supremely fucking cheesy and Sooby-Doo "and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids" in essence. Hell, the "villain" whips out an "I'm not letting you Scooby-Doo wannabes get in my way" right at the end. It's not even an entertaining way to end that arc. Sigh.

Dustin is up against a bunch of smart kids from the prestigious Edgewood academy, namely Danny, Anika, and Brian. Brian is a senior, and he informs Dustin of a "curse" that's been plaguing the science fair—that is, destroying people's projects. The "curse" hits Anika's project, and Dustin takes it upon himself to solve it with Danny and Eddie's help. They record a tape of the saboteurs talking, and they go to Brian for help, since he's a senior and a victim of the "curse" himself. Brian sends them on a wild goose chase, claiming one of the voices sounds like his classmate Richard Rasch. Dick Rasch. Dick rash.

Dustin realizes he's been hoodwinked, and that Brian was the one on the tape. How he didn't realize it initially, I don't know. Alas, Brian has erased the recording, leaving Dustin with absolutely no proof. Dustin confronts Brian anyway, and Brian, the genius multi-year saboteur, just fucking snidely spills his guts about it. Two pages of straight up exposé. If Brian is so smart, and he's been able to pull this off for multiple years with no one catching him, then how is he stupid enough to admit to it? Hello? There's no evidence! There's nothing linked to him! Dustin and Brian both acknowledge that there's no proof. Are you kidding me??? He's a well-liked senior! He could absolutely bullshit his way out and call Dustin a jealous liar to cover his ass. But of course, the Mr. Clarke-wannabe, Mr. Adams, is oh-so conveniently right there to overhear all of that, since Brian had erased Dustin's recording.

It would have been so easy to give Dustin a second bit of proof to make this all more of a legitimate mystery solving trap. Like, say, cameras. Cameras are so important to ST canon overall, and it would be so easy to have Dustin ask Mr. Adams to check some tapes to prove that Brian is the saboteur without this cheap, nonsensical cop-out ending. They're in a nice building in Indianapolis! If HNL has cameras, then this building can, too, and the cameras would be the one thing Brian wouldn't think to even try to erase, since no one has suspected him so far. Dustin could figure out the saboteur from the deleted recording, but he could get hard proof from a camera when Brian has one-upped him. Make it a chess game! Like the chess game from NINA, people moving proof and pieces like pawns in the game! Make a another tryhard callback! You named your fake character Richard for fuck's sake! Like Richard BRENNER from the newspapers! It's not hard to write a satisfying ending. Brian could still have his silly little exposé moment without the entire thing resting flatly on it, should Dustin have found some other hard proof by knowing when to find an adult—especially one who's so willing to help, given Mr. Adam's similarities to Mr. Clarke (they both even have a mustache). The ending to that arc was cheap, easy, and anticlimactic. Upsettingly so.

This ^^ quite literally ruined the plot of the book for me. Sorry, not sorry. Characterization is one thing. Editing is another. But the plot? The plot has to at least be passable to make the former two excusable. And it was! It was! Right up until this bullshit ending to the mystery. Do better. It's not hard.

Editing was poor, characterization was meh at best, and the plot tripped over its gun and shot itself in the head in the home stretch.

As such, The Dustin Experiment receives 2/5 stars from me.

[ticklygiggles]

hii! for the drabble event, could you please do a reader x scaramouche (genshin) one for me please 🙏 romantic one! thank you so much if you do it!💕💕

[You & I Event - entries closed!]

A/N: first drabble (that turned into a fic skskdk), from this event! I hope you enjoy this! I love Scara so so much I'm dying dkfkfkg

This was highly inspired by that event where Nahida forces Scaramouche to study in the Akademiya and that she'll personally revise his thesis!

Words: 1.5k

Rumor has it that the new Vahumana scholar was dating someone. 

Everyone at the Six Darshans knew about the new student: Hat Guy—ah, no, Scaramouche.

Men and women were crazy about his handsome face and his terrifying intelligence. Scaramouche could write up to three essays of many several pages in a single day on extremely complex topics that even Vahumana's seniors were not able to fully understand.

He was a reserved person and limited himself to speaking only when necessary. He was constantly seen in the library with his nose buried in a book. He wasn't sociable, and his humor wasn't the brightest, so when rumors of Scaramouche having found a mate began to roam the halls of Vahumana, everyone was curious as to who had stolen such a complex person’s heart. 

Were they a student from the Akademiya too? Were they in the same classes as him? Was it a man or a woman? 

They all wanted to know the truth behind all these rumors, but there was no way in all Teyvat that any of them would dare ask Scaramouche directly. So the rumor that Scaramouche was seeing someone would remain a mystery to everyone. 

But of course, there was someone who knew all about it. 

"Ugh, would you stop staring at me? I'm trying to focus here, you're being annoying."

You giggled, looking back at your own book. Scaramouche's mysterious partner was no other but you. One more student of Vahumana who was lucky enough to catch the attention of someone like Hat Guy. It would be a lie if you said that you had not fallen for him long before your classmates relationship turned into a romantic one, but to think Scaramouche would also feel attracted to you… well, that was something you were not expecting. 

"You're doing it again!"

You laughed, "I'm sorry," you said, smiling brightly. "You're just so pretty, I can't help but stare." 

Scaramouche made a face that had you laughing again.

"You're so weird, why am I even dating you?" 

"Because I have a great personality and I love you nicely?" 

Scaramouche huffed, but by the pink hue appearing over his ears it was more than evident that you were right. 

"Let me finish my thesis," he mumbled shyly.

Your boyfriend was not hard to love, he was actually quite easy to read for you. You could know what he wanted and needed at any time because, even though he had a big brain for school work, he was terrible at expressing his own feelings, good thing he had you. 

"I think we should take a break."

"Not now."

"You are tired though," you said, closing your book. "And perhaps a little hungry, and maybe also thirsty?" You watched with great pleasure as Scaramouche's pencil halted for a second before he continued to scribble here and there, you smirked. "Maybe also… in need of cuddles?"

"I have to finish this thesis soon," he growled, completely avoiding your eyes and clearing his throat. "You can go and eat and drink and… whatever you want to do, by yourself.”

You chuckled. His painfully shy personality towards you always warmed your heart. He truly was not hard to love, on the contrary, you knew, even though he was still reluctant to tell you about his past, that he needed love. So desperately so, if you dared to say. And you thanked the Dendro Archon in every chance you had for his existence.

But he didn’t need to know that, you thought, his face would probably explode if you dared to tell him about your little prayers. 

You giggled, leaning in closer to him, arms touching. “I’d be very bored if you’re not there with me, though,” you said, blushing yourself when his ears turned red. “I also think that you should rest. We’ve been working nonstop since morning, isn’t it dark outside already?”

Scaramouche turned his head to look outside the window. It was indeed dark already. 

“... I have to finish,” he insisted and you rolled your eyes fondly.

“You can finish,” you said, hugging his arm and expecting him to push you away but he didn’t. “I will help you as much as I can and as much as you allow me, but we need to take a break, otherwise you’re going to tire yourself and you will not be able to work, hmm?”

Scaramouche wasn’t writing anymore, he was listening to you carefully, his fair cheeks glowing beautifully red, you resisted the urge to kiss them. 

“Or should I make you take a rest?”

He perked a little at that and he finally turned to look at you. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, trying to appear intimidating to you, but all you wanted to do was kiss him. 

“What- What do you mean?” He said, cautious and just slightly nervous. 

“I don’t know, I have my methods,” you said, shrugging. “Unless you decide to take a rest, that is.”

Scaramouche looked at you intently, his eyes jumping from left to right, staring at your own orbs. His lips were slightly pursed in thought and his eyebrows almost touched in the middle from how hard he was frowning. You smiled brightly at him, making him jump slightly and turn his head back to his thesis. 

“I can’t. Let me work.”

You were not expecting him to agree and you could only giggle, leaning your head against his shoulder. It had to be the hard way, huh? Well, that was what he asked for. 

Silence reigned in the room once more. The sound of Scaramouche's book pages and his pencil writing rapidly seemed to echo against the walls of your room. It was a soft, relaxing sound, you felt like you could fall asleep at any moment, but no. None of you could sleep for now. Scaramouche seemed to be relaxed, his features had turned to his usual color and he seemed to lean in closer to you. 

This was the perfect chance. 

The jacket of his casual attire had fallen a bit off his shoulder because of you hugging his arm, so shifting a little, you placed a tender kiss to his bare skin. He shuddered slightly and made a little sound deep in his throat when you kissed his shoulder one more time and another and another. 

“Stop, I can’t focus if you’re- haah, w-wait, I- ahahahaha! Gehehet your hahahands ohohoff!”

Success! Between tender kisses that made his skin prickle with goosebumps, Scaramouche had failed to notice both your hands sneaking under his arm, fingers wiggling against his armpit, tickling him nicely. He had also failed to try to hold his laugh back, and now that sweet sound filled your ears making you smile brightly.

"Stahahap tihihihis instahahant!" 

"Sure thing! Tell me, are we going to eat first or just walk around for a bit?"

Scaramouche shook his head and he tried to talk, but his words got lost between his loud cackles. Ah, how could he be so ticklish, you wondered. He simply didn't look like the ticklish type, but there he was cackling with his head thrown back as he tried to squirm away from you. 

"You can't talk? Does it tickle too badly?" Scaramouche nodded. "I'm just tickling one armpit, though, should I get the other one?"

"NOAHAHAHA!"

"Ah! So you can talk, silly boyfriend of mine!" You said playfully, your fingers unstoppable. "Tell me, are we going to continue working like this?"

Even though he was nearly laughing his head off, Scaramouche stubbornly refused to let you win this, but that was okay, you were not one to give up either. 

Smirking against his shoulder, one of your hands pulled out from under his arm and quickly sneaked under the leg of his shorts, your fingers easily finding that tender spot that always drove him up the wall. 

"OKAHAHAY!" Scaramouche shrieked, his knees hitting against the desk when he brought them up. "Fine! FIHIHINE! Nohohot thehehere, PLEHEHEASE!" 

You giggled, your cheeks pink. "So are we going to-

"EHEHEHAHT! Wehehehe'll eat fihihirst!"

"Very well!"

As quickly and surprisingly your attack had started, it finished, causing Scaramouche to collapse against his chair, giggling softly and twitching a little. You grinned, leaning to kiss his flushed cheek.

"Hmm, what would you like to eat? I kind of want-" You couldn't finish, all words got sealed in your mouth when Scaramouche pressed his lips against yours, giving you a tender kiss that made you feel like you had reached Celestia. 

You cupped his cheeks and he shyly wrapped his arms around waist as he kissed you and kissed you and kissed you.

When you both pulled apart, breathless and flushed, your eyes met and a giggle made its way out from your lips, making him smile softly. 

"Maybe we should do the cuddling first."

"Hmph," he said, closing his eyes. "If that is what you want, I guess it's okay."

You chuckled. Ah, he was so easy to love and you were so lucky to be loved back by him. 

[pink-slay]

How could I have ever thought that words weren't enough for me. In high school I dreamed of going to college to avoid writing essays because I was so sick of all the things that weren't math. I thought my words were better expressed out loud and never on a page because I hadn't gotten into the process of delineating any of them. My communication was an ocean of words and my writing not yet sea salt.

I read an email lorde wrote about a year and a half ago and she quoted a sylvia plath poem and said "I have a self to recover" and I am thrown into the woeful awe that makes me remember why I do it I guess. Write. Live.

The ache is consuming but I work through it and maybe the moral of the story is not that this sadness will end but that there will be enough that truly is worth saving. I go through life to find more pieces of it I want to hold on to. Eventually, maybe I'll want to hold onto myself.

However, until then, I'm glad I didn't get AP credit for those english classes I took in high school because I took medical leave and couldn't take the test, and I'm glad I was forced to take a second english class because maybe... if i hadn't... I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I wouldn't be (slowly) writing a memoir, and I wouldn't be (slowly) unwinding the pieces of myself quite like how I do.

I find a lot of hatred for myself within my words, criticism and fear. However, in my words, too, I find new homes. Safeguards from the oppressive heat of life.

There's a chapter in the great gatsby that talks all about oppressive heat and its been so long since I read the book I can't remember for what particular thing that is a metaphor. However, I remember feeling it. The feeling of an emotion, a concept, a truth so heavy, so unbearable, so unrelenting as a sticky inescapable summer heat.

I live with feelings like that now but I'm finding ways not to burn my bare feet on the metaphorical sidewalk and maybe I'm almost 21 and my whole life is far far ahead of me, but maybe I have lived too many lifetimes for any one person and maybe watching Bojack horseman won't make me spiral like I thought. Maybe it'll help.

I like the early parallels in it. All we see about Sarah Lynn that went wrong that could've gone right and all we see about Bojack drowning and running. Esepcially, all the ways his cruelty toward others was obvious in ways so easy to shun but only to get to a breaking point far later than we'd like to admit.

I write in incomplete sentences, call it a stylistic choice, but the words of others have changed me today, and maybe I needed Lorde's words and maybe I needed the words of that one rabbit guy in Bojack Horseman who tells Princess Carolyn she is the star of the movie and it has to be bad for her right now so the ending will feel sweeter. The thing is that I don't believe that. I don't believe everything happens for a reason; some things just suck. However, I like it, valuing yourself enough to romanticize your life into another reality, however untrue, because you value the ending, the future, the beyond too. It reminds me that we are allowed to hold out hope for our futures even though we don't live in them. It reminds me that this is my life for better or for worse and we live to recover ourselves like Lorde said.

We live to find parts of ourselves we thought were destroyed, to discover parts long oppressed or unrealized, and to continue with even the smallest things that help us see through the smog of the intolerable.

Sometimes it's nice to know that you are not a machine to continue, with entropy until your death. Maybe it's nice to know we have stories and tragedies, something to hold onto, something to believe in.

[actuallyadhd]

ok so i want to know if that's just a me thing or a neurodivergent thing that more people experience. why can i only write the middle part of an essay? like, i can't write a somewhat decent introduction or conclusion to save my life. it was always a problem for me at school and it's even worse in college. what can i do?

apologies if that was a bit weird. i was diagnosed recently and i'm finding out SO many habits and traits i've always had are actually adhd, so it's a new yet very familiar thing too.

have a great day/night :)

Sent August 23, 2023

Writing can be really difficult for ADHDers, because of course there's this expectation that essays follow a linear thought progression and we don't necessarily follow the same kind of linear process that neurotypicals do.

When I'm not sure what a paper needs to include, I like to look at examples to make sure I get everything in the right order. For a scientific paper, it's easy enough to check a related journal article to see what the structure is and how they approach introductions and conclusions. It can be harder to find examples for personal essays, but there are books of essays that you can look at.

You might also like to check out your school's writing centre or disability services office. My university had both, and at the writing centre you could get tutoring in writing so that you could learn how to write at the level expected for university. (I didn't do the tutoring, I challenged with a writing test and didn't do well enough, so I had to take two English courses. I did really well in my courses and I am actually a good writer, the test was just timed and basically I had to turn in my rough draft no matter how poorly organized it was. And I wasn't great at the organization part for the type of essay I had to write for the test.)

Followers, do you struggle with writing essays for school? Which part is the hardest for you?

-J

[shark-myths]

🍓 🥤 🌿 for the ask game!!!! <333

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

one of my favorite k facts tbh. i invented fanfiction at jesus camp with my new friend eden. we clutched each other on a hillside while a god rock band performed below, puffy with mosquito bites and illicit ideas, and whispered to one another of the members of our mutual favorite band, what if they kissed each other? we were 13 years old. camp was so in-the-middle-of-nowhere you could see the whole milky way at night, the thickness of it. the grass got wetter and wetter the longer you sat in the dark, hiding from the flashlights of your counselors. every few breaths you'd see a shooting star, til you were numb to marvel, til that was just what the night sky looked like and you expected it everywhere. it was magic and no one had ever thought of it before, boys in bands kissing. when we went home to our separate cities, i started handwriting fic (decorated with gel pen! this was the year 2003) and mailing it to her in hot pink envelopes. imagine my surprise when i discovered the internet.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

one of my favorite fics i ever read was a girl!one direction story about squirting. here it is: you change, water sea by got2ghost

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

love this question, as someone who has struggled in the workplace to maintain the same creative energy i had access to in school.

for creativity: read. read endlessly. try to understand on a granular, sentence-and-word-level, why you like the things you like; what makes a line funny, what makes a line scary, what draws you in to a writer's style vs pushes you out of it. what do the books you can't put down have in common? read things that challenge you--long-form novels, old novels, things way outside your preferred genres. and try to have lots of experiences in the time you aren't writing. try new things! paint something, walk down a block you've never been on, look in people's windows, cook a new meal, get coffee at a new place, go for a drive, listen to someone else's favorite record, listen to a record you hate actually, go to a new store and just look around, touch fabrics, dance, have conversations, travel for no reason, watch videos on youtube about new skills you don't intend to master. READ NONFICTION, especially essays. try to avoid doing the same things you're comfortable with or things that feel easy for a whole afternoon. bury yourself in sensation. chase pleasure. let yourself play.

for writer's block: write anyway--in a journal, in your fragmented notes file with ideas, edit or polish something that's already written, get one sentence out. i like to set a timer for 20 minutes and give it a proper try (this means staying off tumblr and my phone) and then, if it doesn't lead to anything, i'm off the hook guilt-free, because i made an effort. try writing in a different notebook, with a different pen, in a different place, even in a different font on your computer. set yourself challenges like, write a 100 word story. write a specific type of poem like a villanelle. respond to a prompt or create one for someone else. if there's a part of the story--or a different story--that feels more easeful to write and you're just trying to get there, skip to that part. to be quite honest, writing in a notebook away from technology is the #1 thing that helps me just keep moving. it breaks me out of distraction and perfectionism cycles. it feels good to fill pages, even if it's with words you don't even up using.

the other part is, accept that our brains won't do what they won't do. great writing is not created by use of force. the biggest thing i have learned about myself is that if i can't write, there's something wrong. maybe the characters in my story aren't making sense, maybe the plot is boring and readers will be just as bored as i am, maybe i need to go back and rewrite something to end up in a better place for the next scene, maybe i need a week off from a story because i'm burned out on it and i should write something else or nothing at all. but most often there's not something wrong with the story--there's something wrong with my life. i don't have the time or the energy; i'm giving too much of the best parts of myself to the wrong thing; i'm trying to write at the wrong time of day for my energy level; i checked my email first and now my concentration is entirely shot; i need to work fewer hours if i want to write more; i need more help around the house if i want to write more; i need to just let it be dirty for a while and skip my chores if i want to write more, etc. figuring out what you need to actually feel like writing--learn to feel that again!--and making it possible to set other things, even important things, aside in order to write when you feel it, is so huge for me. making a commitment to the practice of writing and not the product of it. if you're doing that, you can relax. take care of yourself and fix the imbalances in your life. the ideas will come. writing is organic and we are organisms. given space and time, things will always change from how they are right now. let yourself and your creative practice ebb and flow when it needs to instead of forcing it to be something it's not.

thank you for the ask darling sorry i ranted at you for twenty fucking minutes!!!

[itsbansheebitch]

Since this is becoming a relevant conversation again...

People are wondering why the ratio between mlm and wlw is so dramatic. This is reasonable question to ask, however, people's first explanation is misogyny. This is (mostly) incorrect.

if you watch Contrapoint's latest video (Twilight) she actually gets into the psychology of women reading mlm.

However, i think that she says it better than i do and you can watch her video to see her analysis. I'm hear to share my own experience.

I'm afab and I read more mlm than wlw. In fact, i barely read any wlw at all. That, to someone who's ready to scream "misogyny" wouldn't make sense to to ME liking women.

Here's the truth on why I read mlm more: I relate to male characters more. Now, you might suggest that this is because the male characters i read are better written, however, I disagree. I relate to male characters more because I was RAISED as a "boy." My father WAS misogynistic and was expecting a son. He got two daughters. Instead of changing his parenting style, I got raised with "men's issues."

Men's issues meaning, an expectation to not just be good, but be The Best(TM). An expectation to never share or show emotion. An expectation to treat ever hobby like it will be a job, contraetc

HOWEVER! I was also raised as a "girl" because of his misogyny. This made me have "women's issues."

Women's issues meaning, an expectation to settle for the bare minimum, an expectation to stay quiet & not speak up & not advocate for myself, an expectation to be a housewife and to focus on my looks above my self worth. etc

This means that when female characters complain about how "men don't know how to communicate, yadda yadda UUGGGHH MEN" I always cringe because I AM that person. I can't communicate like other girls (literally). I wasn't taught to communicate. I was taught to hide my feelings and bottle my emotions up. All I hear is characters berating each other for not communicating when the writers don't realize that it is NOT THAT EASY. Any communication skills I've learned is from reading & writing essays for school.

I just can't relate to girls that complain about that sort of thing because I have the issues they complain about. As someone who's afab, raised with the worst of both worlds, take it from me:

The Amount of Emotional Repression that Men Experience on a Daily Basis is Cruel and Inhumane.

If you won't listen to them tell you that, then you will listen to me.

Because of this, I find myself relating more to male characters. So yes, I will continue to read mlm more than wlw. Until people actually talk about men's issues in a kinder manner and write character accordingly, I will continue to read mlm. That's not misogyny. That's me looking for characters with similar life experience to me. I'm sure SOMEONE reads more mlm because of misogyny, but they are the MINORITY.

Put away your pitchforks and Mind. Your. Business.

[dvrkacademics]

down  the  dim  hallway,  zora ellison steadies  PEYTON  CARTER  with  an  arm  around  their  waist  as  they  both  try  to  suppress  their  laughter.  everything  feels  funnier  than  it  should  at  this  hour,  the  exhaustion  and  alcohol  blurring  the  edges  of  the  night.

[  ruby cruz.  non-binary.  she/they.  muse thirty six.  ]  welcome  back  to  montclair  university,  peyton marie carter  !  according  to  your  student  file  you're  a  TWENTY FOUR year  old  JUNIOR,  studying  CREATIVE WRITING,  and  funny  enough  you  were  voted  most easy going your  senior  year  of  high  school  back  home  in  BOSTON, MA.  i  can  totally  see  it  with  your  extroverted,  independent and  hot-headed  personality  !  but  enough  about  that  —  i  heard  you  were  lizzie  harrington's  SECRET HOOKUP.  makes  sense  when  you  take  into  consideration  your  status  as  a  scholarship  student…  and  the  fact  that  you're  hiding  [ redacted ].  you're  often  seen  at  The Rialto Cinema,  and  you  kind  of  embody  scuffed up converse high tops that look to be moments away from falling off their feet, an old vhs player and tapes stacked in their dorm room, a carefree smile that puts anyone at ease, a five hour dnd session that goes deep into the early morning hours, and an extensive pokemon collection from their youth…  not  to  mention  people  always  seem  to  hum  end of the beginning by  djo when  you're  around,  but  you'll  always  be  known  on  campus  as  THE  PEACEKEEPER who  enjoys  board games and  has  384  of  instagram  followers…  good  luck  this  semester  !  [  brie.  32.  she/her.  cst.  none.  ]

BASICS

Name: Peyton Marie Carter

Nickname(s): Carter

Faceclaim: Ruby Cruz

Birth Date: December 10th

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Age: 24 years old

Gender, Pronouns: Non-binary, she/they

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual, homoromantic

Relationship Status: Single

Major: Creative Writing

Hometown: Boston, MA

Reference Characters: Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

HISTORY

one. some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths and others a plastic spork that was stolen from the local food drive. peyton carter was the latter. for the first few years of peyton's life, their parents did everything they could to get by. her father, a sales man, did a pretty good job of working his way up the corporate ladder, until finally they were able to call themselves lower middle class. two. it was during middle school that the carter family broke. when peyton's older brother moved out after high school, her father and mother made the decision to separate. or well... her father made the decision by packing up his shit and leaving. it was rough, and in order to compartmentalize their feelings as well as take care of their mother who was not doing well, peyton turned to movies. action movies. romances. horror's were their favorites. anything that could give them an escape from the every day life. three. high school was when a teacher took notice of peyton's storytelling skills. a fictional essay meant to rethink the ending of some assigned reading drew eyes to peyton's ability to weave a plot and characters easily. but when you spend your whole life watching different stories play out, why would anyone be surprised by your imagination? four. after high school peyton took a few years off. even with their older brother sending home money to help support peyton and their mom, it wasn't enough. so peyton stepped up. got a job at the local movie theater and worked a few years to help make some extra income. when things finally seemed to settle, peyton applied to montclair. regardless of their late start, they were able to get a financial scholarship to the esteemed college. five. with every intention to major in creative writing, peyton is hopeful they'll become a successful screenwriter one day. but now that they've been in school for three years, peyton can't help but wonder if perhaps they'd rather be behind the camera directing instead of in the writers room. unsure if they can afford a change in major's, the only carter to ever attend college is willing to put that dream aside as long as it secures them a degree. TLDR: peyton carter doesn't come from money, and in order to escape the troubles of their every day life, disappeared into film. as they got older, their creative mind inspired and wowed those around them, and peyton realize their talent for storytelling. but with recently divorced parents and a mother unable to keep them above water, peyton took a few years off of college to work at the local movie theater and help their mom make ends meet. they are now at montclair as a scholarship student, and are wondering if it's possible to switch their major and still graduate on time.

CHARACTER TRAITS

positive: extroverted, intelligent & independent negative: impulsive, blunt & hot headed

HEADCANONS

Carter is a movie buff, specifically horror. Things like Rear Window, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Jaws are ones she'll watch frequently. But she also stands by the statement that Back to the Future was one of the best movies they’ve ever seen.

Carter is always recording things around them. They make sure to get the consent of those on film, but makes sure to always be ready to get anything on camera that inspires them.

Carter doesn’t talk about their life before montclair. The situation at home is not one that is fun to talk about so they let people around them jump to their own conclusions and doesn’t correct them, especially if people think the situation is better than it is. Sometimes living in a story is better than reality.

Carter is a huge believer in the supernatural. It started because her dad always watched the x files growing up, and it's hard not to completely buy into the unbelievable.

While Carter is pretty intelligent - they got by in school as a B student without having to study - they didn't seek out higher education immediately after graduating. Instead, they took a few years off, worked at a local movie theatre to raise some money.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex they uhaulded with but things ended bc reasons and they're still... unreasonably close and on good terms? ya know that lesbian shit where everyone is friends with their exes

smoking buddy

someone who peyton either finds to be an asshole, or just a someone that could be a source of conflict

movie buddy - THEY SEE NEW MOVIES TOGETHER LIKE ONCE A WEEK AND HAVE OSCAR NIGHTS EVERY MARCH

a coworker

a gamer friend. LET THEM PLAY BG3 TOGETHER

CONNECTIONS

the secret hookup. lizzie harrington. {+/-}. peyton and lizzie hooked up once upon a time. it didn't mean anything. it was fun, and maybe happened once more after the fact. but that's all it was, a hook up. there weren't any feeling caught, at least not on peyton's side. however, lizzie fate was unexpected and has left peyton feeling uneasy at montclair.

the dealer. brody kingston. {+]. brody sells and peyton buys, simple as that. normally peyton would go to a dispensary for their weed but brody doesn't charge nearly as much, and honestly, is more enjoyable to be around during an exchange.

[venting-into-the-very-void]

So, I went to school, and discovered some thing about myself:

I can't, for the life of me, do stuff I find boring, or difficult, or both.

Yeah, it sounds obvious. But it's really not.

Like, most people who find something interesting in a set of tasks will either push it for later and do interesting stuff until they find the motivation to, or pull through it first and do what they like as a reward.

So, I usually 'stick' to the first option. Do the interesting part first, then do the boring part. Unfortunately, I never end up doing the 'tedious' work, and get a good level of reprimanding for that.

So, today, I tried the second option. I decided to write this 'prove the statement' in my math homework which was so confusing I didn't even read the question.

I am proud I managed to even get the solution on the page. I won't say I completed the task, because the ending became scribbles and scratches and I'm pretty sure I gave up on the actual proving statement part. (it was an example btw, we had to write it while copying first, practice later).

Unfortunately, it was so physically exhausting for me, I had a headache, dizziness, and lost focus completely. I don't know how I managed to pull through rest of the lectures. I don't remember what the question even was, or what was taught after that. It took me two drawings, two sports, and a fantasy world map building for my brain to even process anything.

I'm sure the question is logically understandable, and I love math when it is challenging enough to keep me engaged but also easy enough to solve and not become a burden.

Like, I thought that doing something I don't want to and seeing it to the end would make me happy, and I can get on with my day with a sense of accomplishment. That wasn't the case. Now, I'm too exhausted to even see my math homework. I don't want to use my brain anymore.

I am only proud of myself for writing the answer and not fainting NOW, after 4 hours, and a good sleep later. I needed the optimism, and got it from the notifs in here, which is why I can even write this essay.

Apparantly the reward system does not work in my case.

Maybe I'll stick to my original formula.

[chiewse]

My Inner Child is Dumb and the Adult me is Ambitious.

chiewse

I graduated from primary school as an honor student, acing my every test, staring at the red colored ink encircling the score 50 out of 50, with a 'Very good!' written on its side. Plastering my smirk, thinking I freaking want to grow up already and be successful. My science teacher once had me standing with her side—nah, not because I am naughty, but to make my classmates clap for me since I did the presentation and she graded me a 100. I want to be an astronaut someday.

Holding Barbies with both of my hands, I stared at their clothes; they're pretty. That's when I started falling in love with art. Sketching designers, landscapes, faces of people that I only met in my imaginations, places that don't even exist, and me with a smile on my face—that little did she know, will soon never appear again. My grandfather's face lit up. "Wow, you are so talented, aren't you? Why don't you take art someday, someone who paints?" A giggle escaped in my mouth. "I want to be an artist."

Life was easy.

And the child is so dumb to believe that life will stay that way.

My forehead is knotted on the piled sheets of paper; it's a compilation of my achievements. I was seventeen, reminiscing about the last time I was good at everything. She knows how to draw and play with words; she's smart, full of energy and happiness; she is someone to whom you can give ten tasks and will finish them in a day, but now she can't even brush her hair and never leave the bed. Where did everything go wrong?

I was once full of smiles until life drained me hard.

My inner child is so dumb to believe that she can be an astronaut who will travel the universe with her silly spaceship, but the current 21-year-old adult here is very tired and exhausted without even doing anything. I want to be a chef. The 7-year-old laughed while helping her aunt make a flan, but all she did was mix the egg and milk. It's funny, but the laugh was genuine. A chef? I don't eat anymore; a cup of coffee every day is enough. I also once fooled myself into thinking I would be a doctor someday. "The medical field fascinates me!". This stupid girl even enrolled herself under the Nursing Department; however, the karma knocked her back into reality real quick and dropped her out of school after a year for having a financial crisis. A doctor? You can't even manage your own mental health first.

The adult me is so ambitious, dreaming of hundreds of professions to be someday when she was a kid; her current self is now aiming for something that is almost impossible to achieve, harder than mathematics or writing essays; she now wants to feel genuinely happy.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Emoji ask game:

🤨😉🕷️🐦‍⬛😝

First thing I notice about a person:

I don't know what the first thing I notice lol. I think it's just whatever is the most 'noticeable'. i'm pretty oblivious in general so things don;t typically stand out to me.

Favorite hobbies:

hmmm. so, you know, writing and reading are absolutely two of my biggest things-- I do primarily write fanfiction right now-- or rather, that's what I post-- but I do write essays for fun when I've got the time/energy to do a bunch of research. I think I like writing them about the same. Also, hockey of course-- luckily there are pick up games most nights in the summer, and when college starts again, so do sports. Also sports wise, running is great (when I have the energy and lung capacity+low pain, which is pretty rare). Outside of that, you know, I'll weave a little, but that's about it. sometimes I do pot holders too-- easy enough to make, and there's always someone who'll take a pot holder or two so I don't end up with 50 pot holders in my closet like I did when I was ten lol.

A phobia:

I think I only have one phobia?

Needles, I was actually perfectly fine with when I was a young kid. I didn't feel the pain, so I didn't really get the point in being afraid of them, plus I was a chronically ill kid so I was around needles for IVs and blood draws and sometime glucose monitoring a lot. anyway, that changed when I was eight.

I was in the hospital again... not actually sure what it was that time-- I think I might have fallen? anyway, whatever it was for, I needed a CT scan with contrast, and had to get an IV. but at this point I'd been in the exam room for five hours, and i'd not eaten or drank anything all day before that, so I was pretty dehydrated, you know? and so there was this nurse that like. was pretty young, probably fresh out of school and he was trying to get the IV in and.

he couldn't get it in. I was counting the pokes. he tried 36 times. I was screaming. he couldn't get it in. eventually an older nurse came in and did it but like. that was heavily traumatizing so.

Embarrassing fact about me:

other than every fact about me? my crush told me she liked me and i ran away and we never spoke about it again and we're still best friends and I still like her. that's a top tier one. might have shared that one before.

also very embarassing but the way my family's kitchen is set up I need to climb up on a chair pretty much every time I cook or I can't reach everything I need.

Favourite quote:

only one?

rats. i'm really bad at picking favourites. (seriously I almost never answer favourite questions honestly because there's so much decision making, so anyone here's a couple top ones)

"because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own. " richard siken. to me the something here is always someone.

"A meltdown feels to me like epilepsy of the emotions—all circuits firing madly, set off by a trigger just as epilepsy can be set off by flashing lights. I have as little control of it—" this is from an account of having autism from an older person and it just always resonated with me. first read it right after I had a pretty big public meltdown though, so that's probably why i got so attached to it.

"Your co-workers ask if everything’s okay and you tell them you’re just tired. And you’re trying to smile. And they’re trying to smile." Richard Siken. Just vibes, i don't know what to tell you.