#Which leads me to believe that either a) someone else had than’s job

[subbyp]

thanatos, appearing with a frantic yet pint-sized toll akin to someone smashing their forehead into the call bell at a hotel front desk: MOTHER WHY IS ZAGREUS PRAYING THAT I WILL GRANT HIM A PEACEFUL DEATH

tired: zagreus is ftm because the god of life should have a womb

wired: zagreus is ftm because the god of rebirth should be trans

inspired: zagreus is ftm because the god of blood should have a period

[vesseloflukola]

Let’s talk about “Professional Jealousy”, shall we? I feel like most of us know what this actually means. Actual Professional Jealousy is envy that someone else in your profession is doing better at the job than you; that they are more successful or more recognized. However, Nic and Luke tried to convince us that Professional Jealousy was something different altogether. To them, “Professional Jealousy” was when you become jealous any time your scene partner flirts with, talks to, or has an intimate scene with another actor of the opposite sex who is not yourself.

They were actually just plain jealous of one another. I think it was both apparent to the people they worked with, as well as those of us who listened to their answers in interviews on the World Tour.

I mean, why else would all of the other couples dancing around Nic and Sam (Pen and Debling) be pulled out one by one until only Nic and Sam were dancing together so that they could get such a great jealous reaction from Luke as Colin when he sees his Pen and Lord Debling dancing? Luke actually said “ I have to clarify. I WAS fuming. That was completely legit.” Sir? That was the statement he made where Nicola felt the need to tell the fandom about their “Professional Jealousy” in the first place.

Luke continued to show us how jealous he was whenever Nicola would make a flirty remark toward a male interviewer, or talk about her attraction to either Ryan Gosling or Leonardo DiCaprio. He also really didn’t seem to like her looking deep into Luke Thompson’s eye’s when there were questions over what color they were.

Luke isn’t the only jealous one though. Nic admitted she did not like him flirting with all the ladies in the Ton, and she did not love that he had those brothel scenes. She admitted to already being jealous of his next leading lady (which we now know is Lucy Hale) and reminded him that SHE was his “first fake girlfriend”.

It’s funny, because last time I checked, friends don’t get that kind of jealous of one another. However, people who have deeper feelings do. It’s ironic to me how many people have been trying to say Nic and Luke are “just friends”. They have never once said those words.

Luke has called Nic a lovely friend and his Best Friend. Nic has said that Luke is a very special person in her life and she doesn’t have a relationship with anyone else in her life like the one she has with him. Most recently Nic mentioned that a lot of people would like the two of them to get married. What they have never said is “we are just friends”, “please stop shipping us”, or “why would we get married?”. What they have done is give us crumbs here and there. What they have done is continue to mention or reference one another.

We don’t know for sure that they are currently together, but I believe that they are. What we do know is that the pictures we have seen of them lately, they are both glowing. What we do know is that they are back to filming Season 4 with their Bridgerton family. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

[blue-rose-soul]

"Great Alastor Altruist* died for his friends!"

This scene has been spinning in my brain since Thursday. Like a lot of other people, my first thought was that this was an indication that Alastor had grown to care for Charlie and her friends at the hotel. And it's not because of the words he says. Even if you're watching without subtitles and don't see the quotations around that phrase, it's pretty obvious that he's laughing at the very thought.

"Me? Alastor? Dying for them?"

"Ridiculous."

"Absurd!"

"Utterly laughable!"

No, what makes me think that there might be a kernel of truth there isn't the words by themselves. It's the look on his face as he says them.

This is the part where Alastor's angry snarl breaks and he begins to look genuinely afraid. He clutches his chest. He digs his fingers into his scalp, drags his hand down the side of his face. And that's a perfectly reasonable reaction to nearly dying! It's very human! But I think it's very telling that this expression doesn't settle on his face until he's talking about dying for someone else. Before this he looked more angry than anything, and he lapses back into anger up until he begins talking about trying to find a way out of his deal.

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why anyone would think otherwise. The thing about Alastor is that, despite how blatant it is, his mask works. Like I stated earlier, I find myself searching every word, expression, and gesture from Alastor for double meaning. Ostensibly, there's no one here for Alastor to lie to**. No one he has to put up an act for. But his smile, which he's already fully admitted is faker than fake, remains firmly in place. I wonder if putting up an act is so second nature to him at this point he can't help but do it even when he's alone. Maybe he tries to fool himself as much as other people.

I believe that he has come to care, but I can't fully believe it. I won't be surprised to be wrong. But there are some scenes that just don't make sense to me if he really doesn't care at all.

His chat with Niffty the night before the extermination, for example. Niffty isn't really someone he needs to trick. He has power over her, whether it's because he owns her soul or because of her blind devotion to him. It's telling that while everyone else is hanging out together, sharing drinks at the bar, Alastor keeps his distance and positions himself above them. At this point, Alastor seems to care about them the way we, the audience, care about them; as entertainment. He's enjoying watching their story unfold up close, but that's all there is to it. He admits to Niffty that one could get accustomed to being with them. Not him though! He's above all that.

Then the battle happens. At first, Alastor's role in the battle didn't require him to assume too much risk. He was on crowd control, limiting the number of exorcists the rest of the hazbins have to deal with at once. And he slayed a not insubstantial number of angels in the process***. But then Adam broke through Alastor's shield and singled him out. It would have been reasonable for Alastor to put some distance between himself and the Lead Exorcist. Charlie did say it was his job to deal with Adam, but as I've already discussed, Alastor really had no hope of winning that fight alone. Maybe if he'd escaped right then and there, or fought Adam alongside Charlie things would have turned out differently. Granted, I don't think his pride would have allowed him to take either of those options.

Regardless, the end result is that Alastor did come very close to dying for a cause that wasn't his. Considering what Adam did to the hotel, Alastor's pretty damn lucky he's not in two pieces here.

Now, I don't think this means Alastor is immediately going to turn around and integrate int o the hazbin family. Immediately after this line where he mocks the idea of dying for Charlie's cause, he gets angry again, leans further into the Radio Demon persona and starts contemplating ways to escape his contract. I think, that like someone recoiling after accidentally touching a hot stove, Alastor's going to pull further away from them. One thing I am certain about is how Alastor feels about his leash; he hates it. He wants to be rid of it. He doesn't know how to do that yet, but he's working out a plan and having Charlie in his corner is part of that plan. Giving a genuine shit about her or the other hazbins is not part of that plan. It's another leash, not as literal as the one connecting him to his patron but just as binding.

Alastor realizing he might actually care about these people may just make him more dangerous to them than if he just didn't care at all.

-

(*The word 'altruist' here being used as a title, not a name. Like something you'd see in a newspaper headline, or on a headstone.)

(**There do seem to be some odd eye motifs in the environment, but at no point does Alastor give any indication he is aware of them or acknowledge their presence in anyway. And I highly doubt he would have said certain things if he believed his patron was actively watching him.)

(***Taking this opportunity to go off topic a bit to call the Vees out on their hypocrisy. For all their bluster about 'taking the fight to Heaven' and how 'pussy' the older Overlords supposedly are, I didn't see any of them on the battlefield. Alastor was. He fought as long and hard as he could. There was nothing cowardly about him living to fight another day.)

[blueskittlesart]

any thoughts on how once again zelda was robbed of her agency because her "father figure" didn't listen to her? even if rauru was kinder to her than her father. and that she had sonia who was patient and loving for a little while before she died (just like her mother). i know rauru apologizes for his hubris but still, i wish we saw zelda be upset about it. and even if zelda was such a big part of the quest she still literally sacrificed her humanity once again because of someone else's mistake- because rauru literally didn't listen to the girl from the future that warned you that shit was going to go down. o know nintendo just loves putting zelda inside crystals and stones but i wish we got something better. even if it was her decision to become a dragon... did she have any other choice? it really just feels like they robbed her of agency again just like botw and the games before

i've been trying to figure out how to answer this one. because there are two ways i could analyze this plot point, either from a writer's perspective or an in-story perspective, but neither of those lead to me fully agreeing with your interpretation? I think there's definitely something to be said about zelda consistently being pushed aside in these games, but. well. ok let's get into it ig

from a writer's perspective, I do honestly have quite a bit of sympathy for the zelda devs as they attempt to navigate the modern political landscape with these games. The cyclical lore, though canonized relatively recently, holds them to a standard of consistency in their games in terms of certain key elements. one of those key elements is that there has to be a princess, and that princess must somehow be the main macguffin of the game. The player must chase her, and the end goal of the game must be to reunite the player and the princess. In 1986 this was an incredibly easy sell. women didn't need to be characters. players were content with saving a 2-dimensional princess whose only purpose was to tell them "good job!" at the end. but as society advances, that princess becomes a much more difficult character to write while adhering to the established overarching canon. (as a side note: i don't necessarily believe that the writers SHOULD be held to the standards of that canon. I think deviating from it in certain areas would be a good change of pace. but i also recognize that deviations from the formula are widely hated by the loz playerbase and that they're trying to make money off these games, so we're working under the established rule that the formula must be at least loosely adhered to.) Modern fans want a princess who is a person, who has agency and makes decisions and struggles in the same way the hero does. but modern fans ALSO want a game that follows the established rules of the canon. so we need a princess who is a real character but who can ALSO serve as a macguffin within the narrative, something that is inherently somewhat objectifying.

the two games that i think do the best job writing a princess with agency are skyward sword and botw (based on your ask, our opinions differ there lol. hear me out) in both games, we have a framing event which seperates zelda and link, but in both games, that separation was ZELDA'S CHOICE. skyward sword zelda runs away from link out of fear of hurting him. botw zelda chooses to return to the castle alone to allow link the time he needs to heal. sksw kinda fumbled later on by having ghirahim kidnap her anyway, but. i said BEST not PERFECT. botw zelda I think is the better example because, with the context of the memories, she's arguably MORE of a character than link is. we see her struggles, her breakdowns, her imperfection, specifically we see her struggle with her lack of agency within the context of the game itself. when she steps in front of link in the final memory, and when she chooses to return to the castle, those are some of the first choices we see her make almost completely free of outside influence; a RECLAMATION of her agency (within the narrative) after years of having it stripped from her. from an objective viewer's standpoint, this writing decision still means she is absent from 90% of the game and that she has little control over her actions for the duration of the player's journey. however I think this is just about the best they could have done to create a princess with agency and a real character arc while still keeping the macguffin formula intact--you're not really SAVING zelda in botw. SHE is the one that is saving YOU; when you wake up on the plateau with no memories, too weak to fight bokoblins, let alone calamity ganon. the reason you are allowed to train and heal in early-game botw is because SHE is in the castle holding ganon back, protecting YOU. When you enter the final fight, you're not rescuing zelda, you're relieving her of her duty. taking over the work she's been doing for the past hundred years. in the final hour, you both work in tandem to defeat ganon. while this isn't a PERFECT example of a female character with agency and narrative weight, i think it's a pretty good one, especially in the context of save-the-princess games like loz.

as for totk, you put a lot of emphasis on rauru not believing zelda and taking action immediately, which, again, from an objective standpoint, i understand. but even when we're writing characters with social implications in mind, those character's actions still need to... make sense. Rauru was a king ruling over what he believed to be a perfectly peaceful kingdom. zelda literally fell out of the sky, landed in front of him, claimed to be his long-lost granddaughter, and then told him that some random ruler of a fringe faction in the desert was going to murder him and he had to get the jump on it by killing him first. the ruler which this girl is trying to convince rauru to wage an unprompted war on has the power to disguise himself as other people. no one in their right mind would immediately take the girl at her word. war is not something any leader should jump into without proper research and consideration, and to rauru's credit, he DIDN'T ever outright dismiss zelda. he believed her when she said she was from the future, he allowed her to work with him and he took her warnings as seriously as he could without any further proof. but he could not wage an unprompted war on ganondorf. that's just genuinely not practical, especially for a king who values peace among his people as much as rauru seems to. as soon as ganondorf DID attack, giving rauru confirmation that zelda's accounts of the future were real, he began making preparations to confront him. remember that zelda didn't KNOW that rauru and sonia were going to be casualties of the war--she didn't make the connection between rauru's arm in the future and rauru the king until AFTER sonia's death, when rauru made the decision to attack ganondorf directly. I think the imprisoning war and the casualties of it were less an issue of zelda being denied agency and more an issue of no one, including zelda, having full context for the events as they were unfolding. if zelda had KNOWN that sonia and rauru were going to die from the beginning and was still unable to prevent it that would be a different issue, but she didn't. none of them did.

I think another thing worth pointing out with rauru and his death irt zelda is that rauru is clearly written specifically as a foil to rhoam. this is evident in how he treats both zelda and link, with a constant kindness and understanding which is clearly opposite to rhoam's dismissiveness and disappointment. consider rhoam's death and the circumstances surrounding it. He died because, in zelda's eyes, she was unable to do her duty; the one thing he constantly berated her for. Rhoam's death solidified zelda's belief that she was a failure, a belief which she KNEW rhoam held as well. his death was doubly traumatic to her because she knew he died believing it was her fault. Now contrast that to the circumstances surrounding rauru's death. Rauru CHOSE to die despite zelda's warnings, because he wanted zelda and his kingdom to live. rauru's death was not agency-stripping for zelda; in fact, it functioned almost as an admission that he believed her capable of continuing to live in his place. With him gone, the fate of the kingdom fell to her and the sages. he KNEW that he would die and still went into that battle confidently, trusting zelda to make the right decisions once he was gone. where rhoam believed zelda incapable of doing ANYTHING without link, rauru trusted zelda COMPLETELY with the fate of his kingdom. several details in totk confirm that when rauru died there was no plan for zelda to draconify, that all happened after rauru was gone. it was HER plan, the plan which rauru trusted her to come up with once he was gone. and I think it's also worth noting that zelda's sacrifice with the draconification parallels rauru's!! Rauru gives up his life trusting the sages and his people to be able to continue his work in his place. Zelda gives up her physical form trusting link and the sages in the future to be able to figure out what to do and find her. these games in general have this recurring theme but totk specifically is all about love and trust and reliance on others. zelda relies on link, link relies on zelda, they both rely on the champions and the sages and rauru and sonia and they all rely each other. reliance on others isn't lack of agency, it's a constant choice they make, and that choice is the thing which allows them to triumph.

The draconification itself is something i view similarly to zelda's sacrifice in botw--a choice she makes which, symbolically & within the confines of the narrative, is a demonstration of her reclaimed agency and places her at the center of the narrative, but which ALSO removes her from much of the player's experience and robs her of any overt presence or decisionmaking within the gameplay. again, I think this is a solution to the macguffin-with-agency dilemma, and it's probably one of the better solutions they could have come up with. Would I have liked to see a game where zelda is more present within the actual gameplay? yes, but I also understand that at this point the writers aren't quite willing to deviate that much from their formula. the alternative within the confines of this story would be to let zelda DIE in the past, removing her from gameplay ENTIRELY, which is an infinitely worse option in my opinion. draconification allowed her to be present, centered the narrative around her, and allowed the writers to reiterate the game's theme of trust and teamwork when she assists the player in the final battle, which i think was a REALLY great choice, narratively speaking.

In any case, I don't think it's right to say that zelda was completely robbed of her agency in botw and totk. Agency doesn't always mean that she's unburdened and constantly present, it means she's given the freedom to make her own choices and that her choices are realistically written with HER in mind, not just the male characters around her, and I think botw/totk do a pretty good job of writing her and her choices realistically and with nuance.

[antianakin]

Do you think you’d like Mandos if they were more like Vikings? I think I heard from somewhere that’s what they were based off of. If they were anything like the TV show Vikings I would be behind them 100%. Imagine if they made Boba more like Ragnar instead of the Feloni version.

I can't quite tell if you're asking me if I'd like Mandalorians if they were written to be more like actual real life vikings or if they were writing more like the way the characters are written in the fictional TV show Vikings, but my answer is going to be similar either way. I don't know enough about either regular viking culture or the way the show Vikings chose to depict them to really be able to answer either way.

The thing I think you're remembering is that I believe it's been said that Lucas chose to bring in Mandalorians as a concept into TCW but changed them up to be more like "pacifist Vikings" (which is why they look the way they do in TCW) because he found that an intriguing concept despite how little it had to do with the way Mandalorians had been depicted in Legends up until then. And that concept mostly seems to come across as like "a group of people who were known for being very violent and doing a lot of pillaging and raiding and fighting in their past but it got to the point where they were so violent that they nearly destroyed themselves and their new leader has enforced a pacifist lifestyle in an effort to keep them from going completely extinct." I don't know that it necessarily took a lot from actual viking culture or traditions beyond that.

The reason I dislike the Mandos is more about the way they're written and the way fans tend to interpret them (especially in relation to the Jedi) than anything else. There's also the issue of like... the contradictions between Legends Mandos, Lucas's Mandos, and Disney/Favroni canon Mandos. People have tried REALLY REALLY HARD to fit in Legends Mando stuff with Lucas's canon Mandos, which leads to this idea that while Lucas shows Mandos as like... very black and white with Death Watch being the more traditional violent version and Satine being the modern pacifist version, there is actually some sort-of in-between that can exist. This is where you get the "True Mandalorians" and characters like Jaster and Jango and even newer characters like Din and, to some degree, Bo-Katan. There's this idea that you can be a violent person who works in something like bounty hunting and still be a good honorable person. Din is someone who does not CARE who he kills so long as he gets paid to do it when we first meet him (his whole catchphrase is "I can bring you in warm or I can bring you in cold" which tells his marks that he doesn't care if he has to kill them to get the job done), he's even initially fine with child trafficking being a part of his job description and BARELY ends up turning around to rescue Grogu after he's already been paid. And while I understand that this can make for some interesting character work and that a lot of people really enjoy the more morally ambiguous nature of this kind of character, these flaws and nastier choices often get brushed under the rug by their fans to try to portray them as better people than they are.

And of course, this often also ends up leading people to represent these characters, these "True Mandos" as the epitome of what a person should be. That these are people who truly understand honor and love and family, often as a direct contrast to the Jedi specifically. Even though these are people who hunt and kill others FOR A LIVING and are still choosing their leaders based on who can fight well enough to acquire one specific weapon. This is still a culture based primarily around violence, towards each other and towards the rest of the world. This doesn't mean these characters cant' be INTERESTING or ENJOYABLE, but too many people sit there and act like Mandos, especially "True" Mandos, are some sort-of mystical better than everyone else beings instead of the IMMENSELY flawed people that they are who would honestly be much better off if they were more like the Jedi.

This is one of the reasons I initially liked Sabine so much in Rebels, because we see how she has to learn a LOT of Jedi lessons about patience and mercy and sacrifice from Kanan that she's able to then apply to her Mandalorian heritage so that she can recognize which parts of their traditions are worth holding on to (the armor that's been passed down for generations and holds a lot of spiritual meaning regarding connections to their ancestors) and which are not (killing your enemies instead of showing mercy, being forced to be a leader just because she happens to be wielding this one specific weapon even though she's not ready or interested in the position). Notice that the things worth keeping about her culture are the things that are specifically NOT VIOLENT IN NATURE.

I think people also regularly overestimate how important and competent Mandos even are, True, New, or otherwise. We ROUTINELY see Mandos get their asses handed to them, by Jedi, by the Empire, by Rebels. There seems to be this pervasive idea that Mandos could change the course of the galaxy, that Mandos are the BEST fighters in the galaxy and if only they were around to help, they would be able to beat everyone else, and it just. Isn't true. They're good at BEING VIOLENT, sure, but this doesn't actually equate to being a better fighter than anyone else. They're so good at being violent that they keep just... exterminating their own people out of sheer stupidity to the point that they're not a real threat to ANYBODY. They destroy their own planet to the point that it's practically uninhabitable, they refuse to have a civil discussion with a group that is clearly outgunning them and then act surprised when this ends up with all of them fucking dead, they make themselves neutral in a galactic civil war and then act surprised when that means trade dries up, they lead two Sith lords and FOUR crime organizations onto their planet and then act surprised when they end up ousted out of their own leadership and instead accidentally end up with a Sith lord as a leader because he beheaded the Mando guy. Mandos IN GENERAL are just reckless, irresponsible, arrogant assholes, no matter which flavor they come in. They can't even help THEMSELVES let alone the rest of the galaxy.

And to some degree, I think that's part of the point of the Mandos in Lucas's canon, that they're just... total flops most of the time. They're an intentional foil to the Jedi in that they are a culture that RELIES on violence as a cornerstone of their behavior and worldview and never see peace as an option whereas the Jedi relies on peace always being an option and violence is just a last resort as a recognition that many other people don't share their desire for peace. The whole point of Mandos in Lucas's canon and even in Rebels to some degree is that their way of life is BAD and not one that SHOULD be preserved the way that it is. If the Mandos don't figure out how to change, they ARE going to just die out, not because anyone sees them as a threat and wants them eliminated, but because their own arrogance and stupidity is just inevitably going to cause their own end. The Mandos are a CAUTIONARY TALE more than anything else.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that that isn't true about the vikings in the Vikings show. You're clearly rooting for them, so I have to assume that you don't view these characters and the culture they're representing as a cautionary tale about what NOT to do or be like. And that's fine, that show is clearly doing something very different with its story and the themes and messages it's sending than Lucas was doing with Star Wars. And I think shows like The Mandalorian are trying to do something similar by making their sort-of violently morally ambiguous character and his culture something you root for rather than a cautionary tale. Which... fine, in the vacuum of the story we had within the first two seasons of the show, that worked out okay. But as it's expanded outward into the greater Star Wars saga, this has become more and more of an issue because the Mandos AREN'T characters you root for in regular Star Wars. They just aren't, especially the variety that Din and Bo-Katan tend to represent. They're usually villains or antagonists for the more genuinely heroic characters, there to either be an obstacle or to represent the consequence of selfish choices. But Filoni and Favreau are SO insistent on making the Mandos the heroes AND on making them like the Legends Mandos they grew up on that these messages are getting flattened and lost entirely.

So I guess my answer to this question is that no, I don't necessarily think that the Mandos would be more enjoyable if they were more like the vikings, either the real ones or the fictional ones, because they just straight up aren't the heroes of this story and their entire culture as per Lucas's canon, the one based around violence as a first answer to everything, is intended to be a cautionary tale rather than something we root for. I think that the Mando culture as we know it isn't something that can be glorified and romanticized and still feel like it remains within the themes of Star Wars.

[idekforfun]

Comfort ... JJk

Summary: After scoring an invite to JHope's album release party, Yazmine isn't expecting anything more than to stick to the sidelines and enjoy the free drinks and music. Little did she know what her ever growing relationship with the rapper would lead her to.

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x OC

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Word count: 2.7k

...

The only thing I am able to think of as my eyes scatter across the room of popular faces is "the amount of talent in this room is enough to swallow me whole". I’m overwhelmed with anxiety and I can't seem to remember how I was ever able to suppress it. I'm finding it increasingly hard to hide behind my extrovert persona, the one that is a lie, a huge lie in fact.

 I realized I had been lost in my head when the sound of loud clapping brought me back to the real world. I barely catch the very end of Hoseok's speech, something along the lines of "Thank you for supporting me", and "enjoy the food and music" then he gives a bow and walks down the stairs where he is immediately pulled into conversation. Oh, I can't even imagine the anxiety he must be feeling. I could simply stick to a corner and hide in the shadows, whereas he has to socialize with everyone out of obligation.

Socializing. For some reason I forgot that I'd have to do that. I've been able to avoid it thus-far having arrived minutes before the actual album started playing. Now, everywhere I looked someone was talking to someone else. I realized I couldn't just stand here alone forever. I examine the room for someone I know, even better someone I have interviewed because I'll take any familiarity I can at this point. This whole ordeal is making me question my job because how am I able to meet celebrities on the daily, and here I am stressing about having to socialize at a party.

I was too in my head again, so I didn't realize someone had been calling my name until I felt a few taps on my shoulder. When I turn around, I was met with no other than Jessi, thank god. We have met on more than one occasion, and she has a weird ability of making people extremely comfortable, something I am immensely thankful for right now.

"Yaz!" She pulls me into a hug. It actually does well to soothe me. "I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know either," I pulled back from the hug with a gentle smile. "Actually, I was kind of surprised."

"Why, are you and J-hope not close?" she questioned.

"I mean, I had him on the show and we got on really well. We've also messaged a lot, too." I know I sound hesitant speaking, as if I'm not sure of the words I am saying. It is kind of hard to believe that Hoseok would want a friendship with me of all people, let alone be close.

"Oh, he definitely adores you, we even talked about you once," she has a sparkle in her eye as she talks and for some reason, I feel obliged to believe her. "Also, he was one of the best episodes on your show by far."

She is right about that. It has been my most viewed interview by a pretty wide margin. Part of me knows it’s due to the fact that he is J-hope of BTS, obviously, but it was also such a good video. All my interviews follow a simple formula. I bring the guest on and we engage in whatever activity they enjoy, in Hoseok’s case dancing. It brings a different level of intimacy that you can’t get from simply sitting across from one another and reading questions from a card. The conversation always flows naturally, and it’s all so genuine. On top of that, even I can admit that Hoseok and I just clicked. Our personalities complimented each other well. So much that we even continued to develop our relationship through messaging, and now I am attending his album release party which is a very important step in his solo career. Maybe we are closer than I allowed myself to believe.

“Yeah, it was pretty great actually.” I could see her eyes light up at my slight self-indulgence. Maybe I should give myself more credit.

We both turn our heads at the call of Jessi’s name from across the room. She gives me another smile and hug and tells me that she’ll find me later. I am left alone again but it’s not as bad as before. The anxiety has decreased significantly, which made my apparent hunger more noticeable. Hoseok did say to enjoy the food so I might as well. The snack table was filled with delicious finger food. As I was reaching my hand to grab a bite of some expensive looking cheese on a toothpick someone called my name. I turned around to find none other than Hoseok’s bright smile.

“So, I see you made it!” He pulled me into a hug. Not the ‘barely touch you because this is a little uncomfortable hug”, but a “I feel like we’ve known each other for years hug’.

“Hoseok, you’re incredible. The album is amazing, the release party is amazing, your outfit is amazing!” We pulled away from the hug and I could see a feint blush on his cheeks hidden well in the dimly lit room. “I’m serious, you may be the coolest person I know.”

“Yahhh, you’re boosting my ego too much.” He said while smiling shyly.

“You also may be the humblest person I know so I actually don’t think that is possible.” He smiled at me again and I swear I saw a glimpse of the actual sun in him.

“Do you know anyone here?”

“A few people, mostly through the grapevine.” He could sense my hesitancy right away, I could tell.          

“Come, I’ll introduce you to my friends.” He said as he gestured to the general direction behind him where his so-called friends were. Knowing him, his friends could be some ultra-famous idols that have better things to do than interacting with me. I could slowly feel the anxiety creep back up my spine, and my heartbeat slowly increased.

“I don’t really want to be a bother,” he looked down at me with squinted eyes and a tilted head. “I promise it’s okay, I like being alone and these appetizers are calling my name.”

He chuckled at me in disbelief, as if that was an insane thing to say in a room full of celebrities. I guess you could say a part of me is forgetting that they are just normal people too, so I shouldn’t be feeling this intimidated by them. At the same time, I’ve seen celebrities get starstruck over other celebrities, so they really aren’t just normal people and I am going to tell myself that my feelings are valid.

“C’mon, you’re never a bother. You’re my friend and I want my friends to meet you” he said reassuringly. I guess that answers my earlier internal debate. After 2 seconds of contemplation, I let myself believe him, and I signaled for him to lead the way. He lit up and tugged on my wrist so I could follow him.

I don’t know who I was expecting him to introduce me to, but for some reason his members stupidly did not come to mind. Three of the seven members of BTS were sitting on the stage together, and their heads all turned to Hoseok and I as we approached them. Despite all my inner turmoil, I take pride in my ability to pretend that I am confident and unfazed by everything. That is how I’ve done so well in my career while dealing with anxiety, but as the three idols studied us as we approached them, I could tell that mainting my persona would be more difficult than usual. I know them of course, because who doesn’t these days, but seeing them in person simply beats videos and pictures. They really were beautiful men.

“Yazmine this is Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. Guys this is Yazmine.” Hoseok introduced while gesturing to each of them.

“Hi guys its so great to meet you.” I said with a smile. Jungkook and Taehyung who were sitting raised themselves up to give me a bow as well as Jimin who was already standing as I shook my hands at them. “Oh! there’s no need for that we can be casual.”

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” Jimin said with a smile. “After all these years it feels kind of strange not to be formal.”

“That’s how I feel except opposite. Getting used to being formal was a challenge and I sometimes still forget the strict customs.” I explained.

“Sorry if this comes across as rude but you’re not Korean? You’re Korean is really good!” Taehyung questioned.

“It’s not rude at all! I am half Korean from my mom and my dad is middle eastern,” as I was explaining, someone summoned Hoseok over to them and he gave my arm a firm squeeze in parting as he nodded to his members insinuating his departure. “I was raised in the US till age 12 and I’ve been back and forth since then.” I explained as they nodded in understanding. It was endearing how intently they were listening to me, and for some reason I felt oddly at ease with the three. My eyes wandered over to Jungkook’s as I finished my explanation, and as they met he quicky looked away.

“Your interview with Hobi Hyung was amazing by the way,” Jimin said. In the moment I don’t think I even processed that Park Jimin watches my show, I’d have to do that later. “The idea is so new and exciting. I hope that you’ll invite me once I start my solo schedule.” There was a sly smirk on his face. I wondered if it would be inappropriate to tell him I would probably jump off a bus if he asked me to, but I decided to keep that to myself in the end.

“I’ll see what I could do.” I joked back. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone new approaching us and I turned my head to find Seokjin. I was now surrounded by four members of the group and I am surprised I’ve held my composure for this long.

“Hello,” he says timidly with a subtle bow. “Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say bye to these three. I’m Jin.”

Just when I thought these men couldn’t get any better, he introduces himself as if I wouldn’t already know who he is. I gave a bow back and smiled at his humility, “I’m Yazmine, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Hey Jungkook, this must be exciting for you.” At the mention of the youngest members name, I turned to look at him and caught his wide eyes and small headshake towards Jin that I was clearly not meant to see as his eyes shifted to me. “He loves your videos. One time he made me watch three episodes of your trying new things series.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook cried out. Obviously I was not supposed to be filled in on this information, but my heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster at this new discovery.

“Oh, did he now?” I questioned with a smirk. Jungkook’s face twinged a subtle pink that was barely noticeable in the dimly lit room, but noticeable, nonetheless.

“Oh yeah, Jungkookie is always sending us clips from your videos,” Jimin teased. Taehyung started nodding his head enthusiastically and decided he also wanted to join in on teasing the youngest.

“You should have seen his reaction when he found out Hobi Hyung was making an appearance, he was so jeal-”

            “Okay that’s enough.” Jungkook interrupted with an annoyed expression. Despite how much I was enjoying this, I also felt a little bad for him, and I’m sure he’s been at the center of their teasing all these years.

            “Well, I really appreciate the support, and it means a lot coming from you especially.” I reassured him. He gave me a shy small in return.

            “Well it was nice to meet you Yazmine, I am sure we’ll run into each other again,” Jin said with a warm smile. “Before I leave Hobi wants a picture with all of us.” He said while gesturing to the other members. They all nodded in agreement.

            As they all turned to follow Jin, Jimin turned to me and nudged my arm with his. “Don’t go too far, we’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll be here.” I reassured. I definitely wasn’t comfortable enough to talk with anyone else here, and their welcoming energy was definitely more than enough for me. Jimin and Taehyung followed Jin, while I noticed Jungkook lingering a bit. I could tell he had something on his mind that he wanted to say.

            “Isn’t it a bit early for Jin to be leaving?” I questioned. This was my best attempt at making him comfortable enough to tell me what was on his mind.

            “This isn’t really Jin Hyungs scene, he doesn’t really know many people and he gets nervous meeting them too.” Jungkook explained. I almost did not catch the end of what he was saying because I was too distracted by his eyes. They really do sparkle just like everyone says.

            “Wow, if that’s how Jin feels then I really am hopeless.” I said in shock. If a literal bts member was having trouble socializing, I was doomed.

            “Not completely hopeless, you have us now.” He said with the most endearing smile I have ever seen. There was also something about how he said “You have us now”, as if he was insinuating that I would be in their lives longer than just a casual conversation at a party. I know it’s probably my delusion speaking, but it’s a nice thought to comfort me.  “By the way I really do enjoy your videos a lot. I guess it’s kinda embarrassingly obvious now that I am a fan.” He said with a little more confidence while referring to the teasing from his Hyungs.

            “If it makes you feel better, I have 3 older brothers, so I know how it feels. Also, I am slightly embarrassed because of how many stupid things you’ve probably seen me do. It’s actually all coming back now.” I laughed. I started internally second guessing every decision I made for my videos because Jeon fucking Jungkook watches them, and I pray that he has not seen the bird calling video.

            “What, like the bird calling video?” He says with a chuckle. This is not happening right now.

            “I am actually going to ignore what you just said for mental health reasons.” He lets out a boyish laugh at that and I swear I’ve never heard something more adorable in my life. I would honestly embarrass myself 100 times over if it meant that I could make him laugh.

            We both turn our heads at the call of his name and see the members waving him over for the pictures.

            “I’m sorry I don’t want to leave you alone…” He says hesitantly.

            “No, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll just be here trying not to embarrass myself.”

            “I won’t take long so we can be embarrassing together.” He said in a teasing tone. My eyes couldn’t help but widen. I’m either crazy, or he just flirted with me. I could hear his giggle as he turned to walk away while I stood there stunned. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I watched him join the others. Seeing them interact with each other was so special. They looked so happy and comfortable. It was hard not to be slightly envious of their relationship. I can’t remember the last time I had a connection like that with someone, and I could tell it was rare. My eyes naturally wander over to Jungkook as he wrapped his arm around Hoseok. I could see his eyes glistening even from here with joy and contempt. His eyes meet mine and I find myself unable to look away even though I know I’ve been caught staring. His eyes crinkle at the corners as we look at each other, waiting to see who will break eye contact first. My gaze wanders across his nose and cheeks as my face heats up. I force my eyes to meet his one final time and I turn away with a light feeling looming over me.

[sitp-recs]

15 fics with different takes on Harry

Nobody asked but here’s another self-indulgent reclist to celebrate Harry’s HBD week! I wonder how many people are open to seeing their fave under a new light? Some readers can be very picky when it comes to characterization, myself included; it can be scary but I also believe that new approaches can be exciting and thought-provoking, and help us understand the multiple layers underneath their personality, as well as imagine how different things could have been had they lived under different circumstances. I am all for having my perspectives challenged so I thought it would be cool to share some of the fics that made me go 🤯🫢 with their bold and captivating take on Harry. These include dark unhinged Harry, down & out Harry, pitiful Harry, himbo Harry and some other tropes that I’ve found particularly creative and refreshing. Each fic is unique in their own way so come pick your flavour of fanon Harry and enjoy!

The Language of Power by Lokifan (E, 2k)

Harry loves talking in Parseltongue to Draco during sex: his response is just delicious.

Magpie by @corvuscrowned (E, 4k)

Potter doesn't steal because he needs anything, Draco quickly learns. He doesn't do it because it makes him feel anything. It isn't about power, and it isn't about control. Potter just does it because he can.

The Antique Bed Frame by @lazywonderlvnd (E, 5.4k)

Draco “needs his bed fixed.” Harry offers to help.

Better Left Dead by calrissian18 (T, 6.6k)

A love story and a half.

World's Edge by RurouniHime (E, 15k)

In the harshest environment on earth, Harry finds that escaping is harder than simply running.

Violent Delights by primaveracerezos (E, 20k)

Draco Malfoy's life should be going very well. He's engaged to a wonderful man and in line for the Head Auror job. He's been made lead investigator on a serial murder case, trying to figure out who is killing off the scum of the wizarding world, one by one.

A Year in Training by Omi_Ohmy (M, 25k)

Harry is finally living his dream and training as an Auror, but nothing seems to be going right: he’s just so angry all the time. And Draco Malfoy’s presence on the programme really isn’t helping with that, either.

Fearful Trill by @vukovich (E, 29k)

Harry should have come out and met someone when he was younger. He should have seen a doctor about the pain in his hip while youth was still on his side. Now, he's made his peace with dying young, but maybe not with dying alone.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for.

Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (E, 50k)

When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected.

Harry Potter Gives a Shit by talithan (E, 58k)

“Where are you headed?” “No place special,” Draco fumbled, and flushed further. But then: “I can change that,” said Harry Potter.

Absolution by sunnyeclipses (E, 63k)

At the mercy of his failing marriage, Harry only meant to use the potion once — to get Draco to listen. It’s not his fault that it works so well and that Draco’s just so easy to control.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 (E, 91k)

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

[xwiedzmax]

Fable lore made me cave

so.. recent lore huh? never posted anything on here before, but todays lore made me cave. so.. welcome to my rant? Icarus' agression towards Rae/Enderian upsets me on a personal level, but it is explainable from their pov. for a very long time they have struggled with many things, from not remembering their past, to being corrupted by Enderian and issueswith Quixis. their first problem that someone else has heavily impacted (well.. i do have a theory about the resets but thats a rant for another day) was getting corrupted by Enderian, at least in their eyes. Enderian did not force them to kill Haley (or any other bad stuff they did), nor did she propose it, they were doing it on their own accord. they were trying to gain Enderians approval. and I believe they have been doing that for a very long time in the past. Fable ignored Isla, focusing on his job a lot more, so I dont think he was a very good father either. therefore, I think Icarus would try to gain Fable's attention and respect. I think Fable influenced their childhood a lot, they learned and followed him, and he realized that they were becoming a 'mini him' from a young age. I dont think Fable necesarily cared about them, more about their potential and what they could do in his benefit. because of that I think they followed Fable around, and Fable let them follow him and learn from him, but everytime they tried to say something of their own or had their own opinions, they would be quieted (yes, this is more of a theory/headcanon than anything else, but it seems correct based on what we have). connecting this, to how they're acting now makes sense to me. they're following Fable and agreeing with him, they haven't said a single thing that voiced their disapproval or their own opinion on the matters Fable is discussing. they just smile and nod, everytime he says something. Icarus also said to Rae that he's blindly trusting Enderian, and they were upset about him wanting to find inconsistencies in the overall story, as well as getting more than 1 point of view of the events from the past. they are upset that Rae even listens to Enderian, because in their eyes, she has done nothing good, she only manipulated and lied. they dont fully know, or dont want to accept how much control over them Enderian actually had during the corruption. they simply despise Enderian, and want to believe nothing she says or does. Fable appeared in their time of need. they were struggling with their memories, and Quixis was still around. Fable seemed to give them hope of actually progressing and getting information. they also discovered a family member, someone they didnt think they had. the idea of a family gave them hope to trust Fable, thinking he would have more information about them, their past and generally just helpful information. Fable promised them some sort of safety that they believed, and that was really their only actual lead, because none of the gods have proven to be of some sort of help. when they got Fable out, he immidiately helped to 'stop' Quixis which gave them another reason to trust him, but he immidiately used that to his advantage, first trying to create a bond between them, gain their trust and give them some sort of comfort and safety. after the incident in the library, he immidiately took over any sort of control Icarus had. he placed his opinions and ideas in them, giving them a straight line of thought and absolutely no place for disagreement. he manipulated them into not trusting Rae, and since they already were in some shock and distrust because of their own brother hurting them, they believed everything he said. involving Enderian in his logic made it even easier to believe for Icarus, since theyre very much not a fan of her and already disagree with everything she has done. blaming Enderian for basically every trouble they stumble upon is Fable's main card to getting Icarus to agree with what he's saying, not including just the overall manipulation (helicopter parenting, isolating them n stuff).

besides that I do think the pure instinc of following what Fable says and does is kicking in for them, since thats what they did as a child, it is some sort of safe ground for them to not get punished and it is easier to follow what their father figure says, instead of thinking about what is true and what is not, what does and does not make sense. it is easier for them to follow the lead, and they have been choosing the easier path before, so it doesnt come as much of a surprise

anyways.. i shouldnt be allowed to write a long post like that. if anyone read through that all, first of all thank you, second of all have a nice timezone mate (oh and sorry if there are spelling mistakes and/or formatting errors in the text)

i shall disappear to the void now

[trashpandafiction]

The Chief's Daughter - One Shot

Summary: (Based on this plot idea.) You're the daughter of the chief of police in your suburban town and you worry about him working too hard. Dropping off meals, coming to check that he's not at the precinct more than he's home starts to get less tedious and repetitive when you meet his newest addition, Cyrus Lupo. Detective Lupo is a transfer from New York and he certainly keeps your father on his toes, so it's definitely a bad idea to fall for him. Right? Pairings: Cyrus Lupo x Reader Word Count: 1,994 A/N: Here it is! My first one shot back in the game. This isn't beta'd or anything, it's really just a little thing to help me dip my toes in the water again. There is far too little Lupo content and when I saw this prompt, the light bulb went off. I kind of want to turn this into a full story, but I don't know if anyone would be interested in a full story. I hope you like it though!

Please do not repost or redistribute my work! Reblogs are welcome!

When this newest case fell into your father’s lap, you knew that he was going to be working late nights and rarely be home. He assured you that he was going to make sure he was eating and getting some sleep, but you knew him better, and that’s why you were walking into the precinct now, holding a bag of dinner from his favorite local diner.

          “He’s on the field.” A familiar voice said from your left.

          You looked over to see Detective Cyrus Lupo leaning back in his desk chair, a smile on his face. “Again?” you asked him. He rarely went on the field anymore but for this case, your father made it a habit.

          “He should be back soon though, he’s been gone for close to two hours.” He replied.

          “Must have been important if he’s been gone that long.” You said, moving to sit in the chair beside Cyrus’ desk. “Do you guys have any sort of lead yet?”

          He shrugged, sitting up in his chair and rolling forward a bit so he could peer into the food bag. “A few, but nothing substantial so far. This is the biggest one we’ve had and that’s off the record.”

          You slid the bag closer to you while he spoke so he couldn’t look inside, earning a small frown from the man. “Well maybe him being gone this long is a good sign then. Why aren’t you out there with him?” you asked.

          “Someone has to hold down the fort while he’s away.” He said, which earned him a quirked brow from you. “He’s a little pissed off at me and has me on desk duty tonight.”

          Cyrus giving your dad problems was nothing new to you. Since he was transferred to your dad’s precinct out of New York, your dad saw him as a problem child. If you had a dollar for every time your dad referred to Cyrus’ “city experience” or “NYPD attitude”, you could have quit your job. When you first met Cyrus, you thought he was a bit arrogant but as you had gotten to know him on your visits to bring meals or just to check in on your dad, you realized he was anything but. He was caring, he worked hard, and he could always get you to smile or laugh, and that seemed to bother your dad, but you weren’t dating the man so what could be the harm in just chatting with him?

          “I have such a hard time believing that you’d ever get in trouble and assigned to desk duty, Detective Lupo.” You said with a smirk.

          “I can’t believe it either.” he said shaking his head.

          “So, what was it this time? Mouthy comment? Sarcastic remark? Too tough with a suspect? Flirting with a witness? I could go on.” You said with a cheeky smile.

          “You should be a profiler, you read people pretty well.” He teased. “He wanted me to drop a lead and I didn’t want to let it go.”

          You nodded at him to get him to continue.

          “It got us a different perspective and a potential new witness, but it also got me desk duty.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it’ll play out or not but at least it’s something else to try instead of just sitting around.”

          Your dad was always about facts, not gut feelings, or hunches, and that’s one of the many reasons he butted heads with Cyrus. “Is that what he’s checking on now?” you asked.

          “No, I did. He’s checking on what the witness gave me earlier and I’m sure that if nothing comes from it, I’ll be at this desk for the next month.” He said, crossing his arms on his desk.

          “Well if he’s been gone almost two hours then maybe there’s something there.” You shrugged.

          “Maybe.” He mumbled. His phone rang and he checked the screen before raising his brows. “Maybe it was a good something because he’s asking me to meet him and Jameson.”

          “I won’t keep you from a good ‘I told you so.’” You stood up from the chair and held the bag of food. “I’ll leave this in his office for him.”

          Cyrus stood up and grinned at your joke. “I’m not gonna hold my breath.” He teased. “I’ll let him know you stopped by and that he has dinner waiting for him.”

          “Thank you. Be careful out there.” You said.

          “Always am.” He said, heading for the exit.

          You headed towards your dad’s office but stopped when you heard Cyrus call your name.

          When you turned to face him, he pointed at you. “And I don’t flirt with witnesses.” He said before giving you a grin. “Only daughters of my bosses.” He said before disappearing down the hallway.

          You couldn’t help but smile at the comment as you put the bag of food in your dad’s fridge. You wrote a note to leave on his desk and then headed out, Cyrus’ grin stuck in your head.

------------------------------------

          Two weeks later, your dad was finishing paperwork for the case and beginning the next one. He swore to you that he wasn’t going to be as ‘hands-on’ with this case, but that seemed to slip his mind after the first two days working on it. That’s how you had ended up at the precinct again, eating dinner with him in his office. It was good to actually sit down with him and check in with him, and you almost made it to the one-hour mark before he got a call and was back to work.

          You cleaned up the wrappers from your meals quietly, kissed the top of his head and whispered to him to be careful before you headed out of his office and towards the elevators. When the doors opened, you were greeted with a familiar face: Cyrus.

          “Fancy meeting you here.” You smiled.

          “You’re lucky, I’m rarely here.” He quipped back. “Going down?” he held his arm out to keep the doors open for you.

          “I am, thank you.” You stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. You had seen Cyrus here and there over the past two weeks, but since his comment about flirting with you, you got nervous around him. He must have picked up on it because it seemed like he was upping his interactions with you when you were around, like he enjoyed seeing you blush. “Have a good night, Detective.”

          Before the doors could close, he put his arm between them, causing them to open again. “Can I walk you to your car?” he asked with a crooked grin.

          The request took you off guard, but the doors attempting to close again seemed to pull you out of your head. “Sure.”

          Cyrus stepped onto the elevator and let the doors close before he spoke up again. “Your dad still working or did he actually stop to eat tonight?”

          “We managed to have a whole meal and a conversation for nearly an hour. I think that’s a record.” You chuckled. “I see you’re not tethered to your desk tonight.” You noted, looking up at him.

          “No, I’ve been good for the most part. Whenever I have a good idea, I just write it down in my journal instead.” He said with a smirk. “I’m glad you two got to sit down and talk though. I know he enjoys it too.”

          You nodded. “Good idea.” You teased. You smiled softly at his comment and nodded. “I enjoy it too, even if he thinks I’m being overbearing.”

          “He doesn’t think that, he’s just worried about you worrying about him.” He said.

          The doors opened when the elevator arrived at the lobby and Cyrus let you step out first before he joined you, holding the front door open for you. You were parked across the street and at this time of night, it wasn’t too busy.

          “You won’t give me a ticket for jaywalking, will you?” you asked him, zipping your jacket.

          “It’s not jaywalking if you’re getting a police escort. It’s a law.” He said, looking down at you and holding his arm out.

          “Oh, it is?” you asked, not believing him for a second, but still you linked your arm in his.

          “Yeah. Probably.” He said with a smirk before walking you across the street to your car.

          “Thank you.” You said when you got there, pulling your keys out and unlocking the doors.

          “Just doing my duty, ma’am.” He said, opening the door for you.

          You tossed your bag onto your passenger’s seat and then looked up at him again. You were about to tell him not to work too hard, but he interrupted your plan.

          “I haven’t said anything to upset you or scare you off, have I?” he asked, his arm leaning on the door as he spoke. Before you could ask him what he meant, he continued. “You just seem a little nervous around me lately and I hope I didn’t cause you to feel that way.”

          “No, you haven’t said anything.” Sure, he had made a comment about flirting with you but maybe he had forgotten about that.

          “I know I made the comment about flirting with you and I didn’t know if that was crossing a line or anything. I can knock it off if you want me to.” He continued.

          You smiled and shook your head. “Cyrus, you making a comment isn’t going to scare me off. If it did, I probably wouldn’t still be talking to you.”

          “Even if the comment was true?” he asked you, almost testing the waters.

          You looked up at him and cocked your head slightly. “Was it?” was all you could say.

          “That depends on whether or not that would make you act weirder towards me or not.” He said with a half grin.

          He was flirting with you, and he was telling you that he was flirting with you. Your dad would have Cyrus transferred by morning if he knew that you had been flirting back, even if you thought that it was just friendly banter. You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and shrugged, trying to find the words. “I won’t act weird towards you.” Good one. “Besides, it’s not like I wasn’t flirting back.” You added.

          He studied your expression for a moment before he grinned. “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” He said.

          You smiled, nodding. “We are. Aren’t you still on the clock?” you asked him. “I’d hate to see you grounded at your desk again, Detective.” You teased before getting into the driver’s seat. You started the car up, Cyrus shutting the door behind you.

          When you rolled the window down, he leaned down so he could see you. “I just need to grab my stuff and finish my paperwork for the night which shouldn’t take more than ten minutes. I know you just ate, and it’s a little late for coffee.” He started, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

          Was he inviting you out? “How about dessert?” you asked him. “Lonnie’s is open late, and they’ve got the best sundaes in town.”

          He nodded at your offer. “I never turn down a lead on good food, especially the best in town.”

          “Well, finish your paperwork and then come meet me there. I have plenty of leads we can talk about.” You teased.

          “Great. I’ll see you there.” He grinned. He knocked on the top of the car before standing up straight and stepping away so you could drive off.

          You glanced in the rearview and saw him heading back into the building once you had pulled away. You weren’t sure how the night wound up in this direction, and you were a little scared of what your dad would have to say about it, but that didn’t stop you from driving to Lonnie’s for a late-night sundae with your favorite detective.

[low-keygee]

i am once again here to offer things about the thing 1982.

probably gonna be shorter bc i’m at work and don’t have much for this but i just needed it out of my brain.

at the very end of the movie when macready and childs are leant up against the barrels, they both share the sentiment of how tired they both are from the cold, the final showdown, the everything. i feel like macready letting on just how tired he is to childs was something of a last word, to let his vulnerabilities show.

in macready’s background he was a pilot in the vietnam war which was meant to explain why he was awake when the dogs were being attacked and why he tells the group after having been locked out that he’s a “real light sleeper”. so he obviously isn’t afraid to acknowledge what the war has done to him in that regard. but the end of the movie, plus this next scene show a bit of humanity for him.

when the drunken macready is recording the cassette for someone to find if/when they have been taken over/die/what have you. he talks about how the storm has been constant for two days and the long johns windows finds until he releases a small bit of what he’s feeling to the cassette.

“nobody.. nobody trusts anybody now. and we’re all very tired.”

he plays the tape back and starts speaking into it again, indicating he tapes over that line before saying “there’s nothing else i can do”.

macready’s insomnia really does seem to be a weak point for him. as much as everyone is aware of his poor sleeping habits, he doesn’t seem to want to admit just how tired he is. how powerless he feels in that regard.

in the defibrillator scene a while afterwards childs antagonizes mac with sleep (“you’re gonna have to sleep sometime macready”) which is where we get “i’m a real light sleeper” which then leads into a vague threat that mac never finishes (“and if anyone tries to wake me…”) which may mean the line prior is just meant to be taken more metaphoric (i think is the right word) than literal. like if childs tries to stir the outpost into taking out mac, mac will then do his dot dot dot.

then (i believe) the last mention is at the very end of the movie.

mac can hardly speak loud enough for childs to hear, his voice doesn’t hold the same command it has throughout the movie. he’s very much leaning against the barrels for support and is out of breath. he’s freezing, running on likely zero hours of sleep, after having faced off with the thing and sprinting out of the outpost before it blows. and he admits to childs as they both sit in the snow, knowing death will come soon for them both whether it be at the hands of the cold or the man before him, that he’s tired.

“if we’ve got any surprises for each other, i don’t think we’re in much shape to do anything about it”

“well.. what do we do?”

“why don’t we just.. wait here a little while. see what happens.”

mac finally lets on how tired he really is and lets himself sit and share a drink with childs before he dies in the snow.

i think his military past is important to talk about in this context as well. he was likely either taught or learned not to let on any weakness as a soldier as it would only earn him a knife in the back (hehe clark reference) and after leaving both the military and his previous job as a helicopter pilot to work at the outpost all he knew to do for his pain was to drown it in booze. he left to work at a research station where all he had to worry about was the weather and staying sober enough to take the chopper up. don’t think about macready being a war vet wanting peace of mind at a quiet research outpost in antarctica don’t think about it.

there’s been a few theories that childs was a thing and macready was testing him with a malatov cocktail but i think that they both died as men, and macready was able to rest knowing he’d served his outpost well.

idk if this was anything or if i’m reading too deep into mac’s 3 comments about sleep but his moment with the cassette and at the very end with childs always makes me so so sad and i needed to say the words out loud bc i heard a song that reminded me of mac 🫶

[acowardinmordor]

I have mentioned this a couple times in a couple of ways, but I need to talk it out. It's my real life stuff, so scroll on if you're only following for the Stranger Things stuff. It's long, and I'm under NDAs, so its delightfully vague.

Real life is currently Real rough.

I am very susceptible to the desire to be the superhero. For good or ill, it's something I am capable of in my job. It's sort of my specialty. I get brought in on disaster jobs to land the plane. Or I get brought in because they know they need to run a skeleton team, and I am able to wear a lot of hats. Yeah, my rate is high, but I can cover several roles on my own. Not permanently, and not at full capacity, but if you need part of an artist and part of a modeller and part of a td and part of a fab designer and part of a construction and vendor manager, I can do all that. It's a weird skill set. When I have left projects midway through it takes multiple people to replace me. One time it took four.

I do anything I can, legitimately, to get what I know into other people's brains. I do not like single points of failure, either in rigging or in design. One person should not be the hinge for a project's success.

Just. look. I have been told directly, by industry legends who I deeply respect, that I'm exceptional. This is why I am susceptible to superhero dreams.

My current project is a shit show. Hand to god, if someone lit the building on fire, we'd be in better shape because insurance would kick in and we'd get time and money back to fix this mess. If it can go wrong, it has gone wrong. We were supposed to open four months ago. We are crossing our fingers to open before september. Every permit has had issues. Every product I order has had a turnaround issue, a sudden price spike, a stock issue, or a usability issue. We are massively over budget.

In theory my job title is Lead Design. In practice, my job is Get It Open.

That is not unique in my life. Sure, this is more disaster than usual, but this is my specialty.

The problem is that the company might not survive if we push to september. Like. Peoples income is hinging on me pulling some miracles. Not just the owners, though they'd be fucked. Artists and assistants and interns.

Yes, I could lower my standards and let this be meh.

But that is anathema to me. I have had the next chapter of FtB for months, but its still not right, so I keep retouching it and trying to make it good enough for my standards. This is not a place I compromise. I don't put my name on projects I won't stand by. And I'm in too deep. If I have to work 7 for the next two months, I will. I'll balance it with my body's tendency to try to kill me, but I don't let my projects fail.

It's so bad the owner dips out early and shuts down when told about whatever new bullshit we've encountered. So I've just stopped telling him. If it doesn't need his input to correct, he doesn't need to know its happening. He gets looped in as a 'hey we had an issue, its corrected, we'll be back on schedule in X days, which fits in schedule'

Again, this is my job. I am very good at it. I am paid well.

The pat that is making me insane is that about half the problems are things that I could have prevented if I'd realized earlier no one else was looking for them. Its stuff that shouldn't be my job, but I know enough to see the imminent issue, and bring in someone to prevent it. The other half are things that I specifically, explicitly pointed out as disasters in waiting, and was outright told that I was overreacting or that the thing I was asking for was unnecessary and a waste of time.

I don't believe in saying I told you so. Either they already know, or they won't listen if I say it. It's also crass. Its frustrating as fuck though. We have to rebuild stuff and redo stuff bc errors got missed. those errors would have been caught in a fab design review. I was treated like I was crazy when I asked for those drawings six months ago. We're getting fucked by it now.

So. Yeah, Everyday I ride my bike to the office -- cause yeah, I started commuting by bike which is great but also sweaty -- and my brain gives me all sorts of fabulous ideas and inspiration to write. And then work all day and suffer. And then ride home and am deluged by inspiration while riding. Then I get home and all the energy saps out of my pores and it takes hours before my brain has shifted gears enough to properly write. but then its past 9, on good days, and past 11 on bad days. Lately, its all been bad days.

Oh, and I'm having many more seizures than usual, my AC is crap so my house was over 90 last weekend, I angered my leg on my bike because I had to slam on the brakes, politics is Like That, and the guy I've had a crush on is being inexplicable.

So.

It's a very strange blend of infuriating, fulfilling, exhausting, and anxiety inducing.

I miss writing.

[my-mt-heart]

Are you getting sometimes mad that people still spread allegations like "she needed a break", "she was unable to relocate", "she had to take care of her father"? I obviously don't know for sure what happened either BUT her whole demeanor last year was so off. First she was always sad, her eyes teary even in pictures of the last days and reshoot, SDCC, her leaving before press conference etc and then she was obviously angered to attend the final event, seemed annoyed by specific people, avoiding red carpet etc. It wasn't unprofessional, many people didn't feel something was amiss, but if you watch a person for so many years, you should get the hang of that person and the emotions especially very subtle changes in facial expressions and gestures. I can't believe that some fans still believe that it was her choice. Personally, it makes me mad every time I have to read it. On another note, she's really happy right now but she still deserves so much more especially regarding her public image. How do you feel about it?

Does it make me mad that a woman with the most stellar reputation in the industry had that compromised after already being punished for someone else’s misogyny and incompetence? Yeah, it makes me extremely mad. Those narratives, none of which are true, can’t be walked back. They’re out there, and it’s not fair to Melissa. I think she has done an incredible job of refuting the lies without uttering a damn word, and it would be helpful if AMC, cast, and crew let her lead the way rather than adding fuel to the fire.

She does look extremely happy to be filming and I’m glad. She better be getting everything she deserves. For example, a show title that doesn’t disrespect her character and press releases that don’t suggest she’s joining someone else’s show. It’s her fucking show too.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Hi Dana and Ceph! I'm sending this to the both of you cuz I'd like to know your opinion (and between the Mimic debate and the "Gregory is evil" thing I trust yall more than youtube theorists X) )

I'm wondering, who do you think the other therapy tapes belonged to? Patient 46 if I'm remembering. What are/were your headcanons about their identity and do you still think that?

I was using that and the one unmasked ending to say that there were two Vannys in a fic/retelling I'm building, but with Vanny and Vanessa being pretty much confirmed 1:1 it's made me all confused.

Ceph already answered this, but I suppose I will too.

Sorry I've been sitting on this one for awhile.

But I guess I should get all my thoughts about Patient 46 out there.

Before the DLC dropped, I would have guessed Cassie was patient 46 and had possible connections to Charlie.

However, post DLC, Having played Ruin, I can say that Patient 46 is NOT Cassie nor does she have any connections to Charlie. Other then then her empathetic nature and wanting to help, but even that's a stretch to connect the two.

She also has no clear connections to the Profile in the therapy tapes. (And I mean behavior profile) so she doesn't match.

So Cassie is ruled out entirely.

Another thought I had was that Patient 46 was Vanny. And a lot of people had similar thoughts when the games came out. But..... No. A lot of the therapists in the way they address 46 are clearly talking to a child. As their feet dangle from the chair, and while it could be a very short woman, Vanny is not short. She's as tall as Vanessa.

The therapists often try to say "you don't know what that means" about rather simple terms or phrases. And often try to be gentle with 46, even when being accusatory as compared with Vanessa's tapes.

(one of them legit says "you need to let this go if you ever want to be happy" to Vanessa...great therapist Fazbear 10/10 .... 🙄 )

While as with 46, they moreso go "I want to talk to you about something....." And then they hit them with the hacker and manipulator stuff.

So Patient 46 is a non-verbal child. All the tapes involve them either making gestures or pointing at things we can't see. Which leads me to believe either... The patient doesn't want to talk to therapists and mistrusts them, is non verbal autistic or went through a deeply traumatizing event and that's why they're in therapy.

Or they're just mute but I think the other are more likely.

My other thought was that it might be Vanessa as a young child....

But that doesn't add up either.

Cause both of these therapists are disappearing at the same time.

One of the therapists (and I think it's the case for all of them) said to not just work with big corporations like Fazbear. They also work in schools.

So when these therapists are dying, in a small population like Hurricane Utah, it makes sense that the therapist they outsource for Fazbear Entertainment will also take a job at the local school if they transfer. Cause both positions need to be replaced.

So... Who else could it be....

Well, there's always a possibility that it's someone we don't know yet. Maybe even the protagonist or a character in Help Wanted 2.

But....

Well...

No.

I don't think so.

It's Gregory.

There's no one else it could be.

In the GGY Story from the books... There's this weird paragraph aside that talks about the school therapists.

How the newest one was like, and how the old ones were like...

And they described their personalities as presented in the tapes. One being strict and a bit full of herself, the other being nice and cheerful, and another one being matter of fact.

These were there therapists at Gregory's school who were going missing.

GGY also connects the Greg in that story to Freddy Fazbear himself, and being a really skilled hacker who cheated to get high scores on arcade cabinets.

Gregory also gives him the alias Dr.Rabbit. most likely in reference to the Scraptrap arcades he plays. And he probably likes the mad robot scientist..... And where he got the idea to upgrade Freddy by Frankensteining parts into him.

Before the DLC I wasn't able to make sense of GGY. Because we'll "Gregory's not a hacker. He follows instructions on a keypad to update Freddy"

But.... In the DLC

Gregory said HE developed MXES......

Sure, there is speculation that Vanessa might have helped him, as he says that Vanessa has access to the building maps and is helping him...... But he said that HE designed the MXES Security System.

Which takes the shape of a Rabbit....

And Patient 46 was told by the therapists to lie about his home life. The therapist did research and find out that 46 had loving parents and lied about it.

We see a trend of that behavior in the GGY Story.... Where Tony, our dumb protagonist, thinks Gregory has super rich and well off parents..... But also admits that Gregory is dirty and cuts his own hair....

Something that just doesn't add up if he had attentive parents. So he probably ran away from home at that point and is squatting at the Plex.

It's unclear if 46 is actually lying about having horrible parents.... Or the background search was incorrect.

Patient 46 also came into contact with someone or something with Rabbit ears at some point.

However, I'm not drawing conclusions that Gregory is being manipulated by Glitchtrap or Vanny at all. Cause the therapist legit says:

"I don't think you're being manipulated here. I think you're the one doing the manipulating...."

.....

All the evidence lines up.

Gregory is GGY and Patient 46. There is no one else it can be.

What we know, he lies fervently about his home life. He ran away from home. He mistrusts adults A LOT. He programed Freddy to basically be his body guard. He's been abducting his classmates to the Pizzaplex. He's been using animatronics to kill his therapist when they get close to him.

And he is manipulating someone with rabbit ears....which could be anyone.... It could even be a Fazbear Technician we don't know or Cassie's Dad.

The only reason Gregory is vulnerable in Security Breach is because Vanessa took Gregory's toys from him, and Freddy experienced a system malfunction on stage so he doesn't answer to him or remembers him anymore.

(I do believe that Gregory genuinely sees Freddy as a friend by the end of the game and not a tool)

And from Vanessa's frustration, she's been hunting down Gregory for a LONG TIME. Not just the night of the in-game events. It's only that night she figures out his name, cause Gregory was good at staying hidden and out of her way since before then.

I don't nessarily think all of this means Gregory is evil.

The MXES being associated with a purple rabbit was the main reason why he was so misleading in FNAF and why a lot of people thought he was the villian at first.

So maybe all of Gregory's behavior is meant to be misleading. He might be an anti hero. In game, he mentions the disappearances at the end and seems concerned about them, despite him causing some of them in GGY and if he's patient 46.

I don't think Gregory is evil.

I honestly see a scared kid, who has been forced to play defensive his entire life. So he lashes out with agression.

An eye for an eye.

"get them before they get me"

Play offensive preemptively, against people who aren't even playing with you.

There is no one else Patient 46 could be at this time...

And I am interested to see what they do with this.

If they just go "he's just evil" like FNAF is prone to do....

That will be a bit disappointing.

Because I do think that there is a way that you can make Gregory like this, and still have it be very interesting.

Because child innocence tarnished by neglect and suffering is a very dangerous thing.

[cat-vase]

other thing similar to the bryce stuff that i think you may be interested in!

Owen was most likely interrogated by police about Liams disappearance since he was the last one to see Liam before he vanished (BOTH TIMES not counting bryce or the cashier+waiter in ep15), which means there’s the possibility of Owen being wrongly convicted… despite the fact that there may not be much evidence against him.

(same thing goes for Parker regarding Charlotte’s disappearance since he was AT HER HOUSE and had a reason to be mad at her, leading the police to believe he possibly murdered her over the money..?)

Someone pointed out to me once that it was likely Owen who REPORTED Liam missing in the first place! How else would the police know it was LIAM'S bike instead of... literally anyone else's? He probably got cleared of suspicion since there's likely outside security footage of Liam leaving the office alone (and Owen leaving alone, too!) Assumming this because... well. Everything has cameras everywhere nowadays.

But yeah!!! I'm sure he was questioned but since Liam literally disappeared into thin air, they couldn't find anything to convict him? Or anybody else, either? Or anything to use... to figure out where he was? Hence presuming him dead!!! Which sucks for Owen, especially if he finds out about the smokestack incident somehow (and that it happened BEFORE he saw Liam???), but what can you do!

But oh my god Parker. I have so many thoughts about Parker you have no idea. Not a lot of people talk about Charlotte I feel and even then, if they do they DON'T talk about Parker and that is a CRIME.

He saw her disappear in front of his eyes! Mid sentence! There was still dinner cooking in the kitchen and jazz playing on the TV! Wouldn't that send him into some sort of anxious spiral? Or psychotic break? Wouldn't he be unsure if she ever existed or not?

And his job is a brand associate! Wouldn't that make him in the public eye, at least somewhat? If he went crazy people would SEE and KNOW. He might be arrested on suspicion of murder? Or institutionalized? Or go off the grid? Maybe he starts to pay for her place and cover up her disappearance in order to try and investigate it! Maybe he searches every single forum he can online, stringing together other random disappearances of this nature whether or not they're actually connected! Maybe he takes something of hers to convince himself that yes, she WAS real! He can't tell anyone else in his friend group about this, of course. They'll think he did something to her, and he would never. He just wanted her to be okay. Is she okay, wherever she is? He hopes she's okay. He just wants her to come back. He's not mad about the money anymore. He's sorry he yelled. Please just come back. One day she has to, right? In the same manner she disappeared? He can't get rid of her place now, what if she came back and he wasn't there?

Maybe he posts incomprehensible ramblings on a website he makes in order to make sure he doesn't lose them, but also so he can stay anonymous. He goes on outings for days searching and never turns up any leads, of course. In the beginning his friends try to interact with him; they fear for his safety, he's so JUMPY, and he has an accident and falls in one of the caves they've been to a thousand times. He just gets more closed off after that. He becomes more and more like the person he's trying to find: No, he's FINE, he can find her on his OWN, he doesn't NEED help, he's perfectly fine and sane.

And maybe, if he's not locked up somewhere or done something to hurt himself, maybe he DOES see her come back someday. She's in a worse state than she left in.

But that's a whole different can of worms.

[emwallas176]

Good vs Right (GO2 meta)

[Disclaimer: Good Omens Season Two Spoilers]

So, I have a lot of thoughts about the finale...

More specifically, I have a lot of thoughts about Aziraphale and how/why he did what he did. I feel like I usually understand/relate to Crowley's character more easily so it was kind of fun getting a chance to break down Aziraphale's character for once and try and get inside his head. Anyway, I hope someone else finds this interesting because I had a lot of fun writing it!

(DISCLAIMER: GOOD OMENS SEASON TWO SPOILERS)

Good vs Right

(A Mini Essay on Aziraphale and Heaven’s Toxic influence)

By: Me 

I’ve seen, since the release of the final episode of Good Omens Season Two, a lot of varying reactions from fans. A lot have jokingly raged against Neil Gaiman — the majority creator of the tv show and the original story of Good Omens — for the painful end of the season ( I will admit to being among them). A lot of fans also have hope that, if the story has the opportunity to continue, it will get better and reach a satisfactory end (I also have this dream). A lot of fans do not agree with Aziraphale’s decision to go back and lead Heaven. I very much do not agree either. When I first finished the episode, I asked myself “Why? Why would he do that? How could he do that?” And I think I’m finally starting to understand it now that I’ve had time to think about it in-depth.

In order to understand the end of Season Two we must go back to the beginning, to a garden on a nice day (yes, that far). The first we see of Aziraphale, he is on watch in the Garden of Eden and we learn very quickly that he has just given his holy flaming sword to Adam and Eve who have just been cast out. As far as character introductions go, this is a great one. Not only do we get the dynamic of Crowley and Aziraphale and their opposing roles as demon and angel instantly established. We also are introduced to the epitome of that which is Aziraphale’s character: Doing Right vs Doing Good. By giving his sword away, Aziraphale, for the first time ever, choses doing good over doing right. This introduction, while demonstrating the importance of Aziraphale’s title as an angel of God, also frames it in a way that suggests, when push comes to shove, Aziraphael would rather be a good person than a good angel.

Following that, many years later Aziraphale finds himself standing at the base of Noah’s Arc right before the Great Flood. His conversation with Crowley illuminates both his aversion to what is about to happen and his compliance through inaction. It seems pretty clear that he doesn’t want the Earth to flood, but neither is he willing to stand against God and stop it. When Crowley asks if even the children are to be killed, Aziraphale looks even more uncomfortable. Killing innocent children is a quintessentially evil act, and yet it is being done by his benevolent God. These two facts are contradictory. Aziraphale reconciles this by falling back on the one word that has always swayed his doubts — ineffable. He believes that God knows better, that God is good and therefore must also be right. Unfortunately, we do not get to see Aziraphale’s reaction when the flood finally does come, but I’d bet that his doubts during those forty days and forty nights are louder than they ever had been before.

Another instance of note is during the minisode of Job. In it, Aziraphale finds out that God has entered into a bet with Satan about the human Job. To test his faith, Satan is allowed to commit atrocities against Job and everything he loves. One of these tests is that Job’s children are to be killed (again, innocent children). Aziraphale, when speaking to Crowley who has been sent to complete the job, shares his disapproval. Later, Aziraphale even goes to Crowley and pleads with him to not kill the children. This could be seen as a small rebellion against God’s wishes, but I don’t think Aziraphale sees it as that. He is not pleading for God to make a change; He is pleading to Crowley and, by association, Hell. Despite that, despite his obvious disagreement with what is about to take place, Aziraphale walks away. 

We see it time and time again through the series. Aziraphale has a better moral compass than the other angels. He knows when something is not good. And yet he is unwilling to directly influence anything. He doesn’t stop Crowley when he thinks he is going to kill the children, but when Crowley ends up saving the children later on, Aziraphale doesn’t stop him then either. He is merely a bystander. It isn’t until near the end of the minisode when he lies directly to Gabriel and the other angels’ faces that he gains any true agency in the situation. More importantly, in the final scene of the minisode Aziraphale asks if Crowley is there to take him to Hell. This shows us that Aziraphale lied to protect Job’s children while believing that it would lead him to fall. And yet he did it anyway. I believe this gives us a lot of insight into Aziraphale’s mindset. This, similar to when he gave away his sword, is one of the few instances in which he choses being good over being right. And it terrifies him.

Aziraphale is terrified to fall. Being an angel is a huge part of his identity and to lose that would be traumatizing. Not only does it scare him because Hell is, well, Hell. But because Hell is the place where bad people go and if he falls then that means he is bad. This is Aziraphale’s biggest fear. His entire character, his entire life is based on the belief that he is doing good, so it is understandable that he doesn’t want to fall. Unfortunately, Heaven is no longer based on doing good. They (meaning the collective entity that is Heaven) believe more in doing right than doing good. But Aziraphale doesn’t see that. His faith in Heaven means that he doesn’t understand that, for others, there is a disconnect between the two concepts.

This misunderstanding puts an enormous strain on Aziraphale. It also leads me to what, I believe, is Aziraphale’s biggest motivator, which is Moral Perfectionism. The best summary I’ve found on this idea comes from an article from the 16personalities site which describes two kinds of perfectionism: Material and Existential. Most of us understand the more common use of perfectionism (material) which focuses on attention to details — perfect grammar, perfect grades, perfectly clean room. This type of perfectionism is more tangible, whereas moral (existential) perfectionism is more abstract and, in some ways, more personal as it pertains to an individual’s character and sense of identity. The article describes people with moral perfectionism as people who “try to be perfect on a moral, rational or even spiritual level… For someone dealing with existential perfectionism, “Am I a good person?” is the unrelenting question. Furthermore, for them, the “good” in the question usually means “perfect.”” Sound familiar? Maybe like a certain angel we know?

Aziraphale is obsessed with always being good because he believes that even one simple mistake could mean the end of who he is and all he loves. If he isn’t an angel, he isn’t good. If he isn’t an angel, he can’t continue to help humanity or even just experience humanity. Falling means failing.

Fast Forward to the end of the world. Aziraphale is faced with the ultimate choice. He can either follow orders and do nothing or he can act and save everything that he loves. And he chooses to act. Of course, he only does so after Crowley words it in a way that makes it seem as if they are not directly opposing Heaven and Hell, but for the sake of the argument let’s say that, deep down, Aziraphale knows what he’s doing is treasonous. He goes against Heaven and Hell and it takes a lot of bravery, but he does it. And when Heaven and Hell (Gabriel and Beelzebub) come to punish him, Aziraphale takes one out of Crowley’s book and reframes the situation. It may be that he has gone against the Great Plan, but it may not be the Ineffable Plan. This is his justification and it works. It gives Aziraphale more freedom to make his own choices because he no longer has to follow a script he doesn’t fully believe in. When the first season ends, Aziraphale and Crowley are free from both Heaven and Hell, and they enjoy their new future over a toast where they say “To the World”. It is the perfect quote to represent their love for humanity, for free will, and for choosing good.

So we go back to the final scene in Season Two. We go back with a new perspective, one in which Aziraphale is motivated by fear, one in which he is a moral perfectionist and desperate to be both good and right. And it all makes a little more sense.

In the final scene of Season Two, Aziraphale comes back into the bookshop after talking to the Metatron looking extremely excited. He steamrolls over Crowley, definitely not reading the room, and tells him the “good news”. Now, for anyone who watched the show, I’m sure you knew that Crowley was never going to be happy about that news. For two seasons we’ve seen him show nothing but resentment towards Heaven. And one might (Aziraphale certainly does) interpret that as bitterness, for being cast out of a place he can’t but wishes to return to. 

This is not the case. Crowley has mentioned before to Aziraphale that he is not “nice”. At one point in time, he even shoves Aziraphale against a wall for saying so. He is very adamant about not being nice. Similarly, in the bandstand scene, Crowley tells Aziraphale that he is “unforgivable”. Aziraphale, after thousands of years knowing Crowley, knows that neither of these things are true. 

But I don’t think Crowley really believes these things either. I think he rebels against the idea of being “nice” because it feels too much like being associated with Heaven. Heaven is supposed to be full of the nice guys and he certainly isn’t one of them anymore. Being called nice, when Aziraphale does it at least, means being called inherently good. You’re nice because you’re supposed to be. And that is certainly not the case for Crowley. He’s not supposed to be nice. He’s supposed to be bad, to be evil, a demon. But he choses differently. And when Aziraphale calls him nice it feels like he’s diminishing the absolute effort it takes for Crowley to be good. He isn’t nice. He’s not supposed to be. But he does nice things anyway. And that means a whole lot more than being inherently nice. I’m sure there is other reasoning that makes Crowley adverse to compliments (and I have a few more theories of my own) but to resist going on a tangent we will limit it to that line of reasoning for now. 

Similarly, when Crowley says he’s “unforgivable”, it isn’t a value judgment of himself. Crowley has shown several times throughout the show how he doesn’t believe he did anything wrong. He doesn’t believe he deserved to be cast from Heaven. What he means is that he — quite literally — will not be forgiven. He has a better understanding of how Heaven and God work. He knows that Heaven is a corrupt system. He knows that God is not all benevolent. That’s the point he’s trying to make. He’s trying to open Aziraphale’s eyes to the truth, to the imperfection that exists on “his side”. Heaven isn’t all good. He tries to tell him. They will never accept me back, and I would never go back to them even if they did.

Which is why Aziraphale’s offer — his excitement at the idea — is so devastating. He doesn’t understand what Crowley has been trying to tell him this whole time. Crowley doesn’t want to go back to Heaven. He doesn’t want to because “we're better than that”. Crowley isn’t one to follow blindly. He’s an independent thinker. It’s the whole reason why he fell. He’s always felt like he’s on his own. But at the same time, he was never really alone. Because he had always thought — hoped — that Aziraphale was at least with him on this. “you're better than that, Angel,” he says and he means it. He’s spent lifetimes believing that Aziraphale is one of the last angels who believe in doing good. 

And he’s right. Only Aziraphale doesn’t know that. He thinks the system can be saved. He still believes that Good and Right are the same thing. Because if they aren’t, then maybe God made a mistake. Maybe it was wrong to cast Crowley out (wonderful, demonic, good-by-choice, good-despite-everything Crowley). However… If Crowley comes back to Heaven, then Aziraphale’s world view doesn’t have to crumble. He can do that reframing technique he loves so much. He can tell himself that Crowley falling wasn’t a mistake, just a temporary setback, a lesson that needed to be learned. He’s begging, pleading for Crowley to fix things once again, to do this one thing for him so that everything doesn’t have to change. “Crowley, come back to Heaven!” “Work with me!” “We can be together!” “Angels... doing good!” Angels. Doing good. It’s all that Aziraphale wants. But he can’t have that. Because he says, “I don't think you understand what I'm offering you.” And Crowley responds with, “I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Because… Good and Right aren’t the same thing. And Aziraphale doesn’t understand that. It’s not entirely his fault. This notion is his own kind of coping-technique, the way he justifies all the bad. He wouldn’t have made it this long as an Angel otherwise. Because doubt leads to questions and questions lead to falling. And falling is failing. And Aziraphale is terrified of failing. For thousands of years, he’s existed under the thumb of Heaven’s power, a system built to motivate through fear, through punishment (the threat of the fall). 

So it makes sense why Aziraphale is the way he is. And it hurts all the more because looking at it through that lens makes the season finale seem almost inevitable. Aziraphale was always going to be excited by the Metatron’s proposition. And Crowley was always going to say no. And they were always going to end up where they are now, one way or another. Because for as much they’ve worked against Heaven and Hell together, fighting for freedom, fighting for themselves (their own side), they aren’t really together. Aziraphale still supports the system. Crowley still wants to see it destroyed. They are still on different sides.

My hope is that in the Third Season (please, please, please, let us have a Third Season) Aziraphale is able to learn that Good and Right aren’t the same thing and that sometimes doing the good thing means going against what you’re told is right. But I hope he doesn’t have to fall to learn that lesson. More importantly, I hope he doesn’t lose his hope and kindness and faith. There’s something beautiful about believing in goodness. So I guess I’ll end by saying, I think Aziraphale is a flawed character, and I don’t agree with some of the things he does, but, I think, this meta has helped me to better understand him. Because good writing isn’t having characters always make good decisions. It’s about making the bad decisions believable. And Aziraphale’s journey is incredibly believable and human and compelling. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

(And if you've stuck around this long, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk)

[bringerofdeathandtheapocolypse]

Ok I spiraled in thoughts again.

So I was thinking about the Tenrou arc and how some characters physical injuries didn't make sense for how they were injured (Like Gajeel having more visible injuries than Mira despite her getting blown up) and I got to Makarov Vs Hades and started thinking.

Both Precht and Warrod were Yuri's close friends so it's likely they were both named as uncles or godparents to Makarov and I started looking into it because I remembered that Makarov's mum died only seconds after he was born but I couldn't remember when Yuri died and well. Makarov would have been 3 to 4 depending if Yuri died before or after March.

Meaning that either Makarov was raised by Fairy tail itself or Warrod or Precht stepped in to raise him. The second seems most likely as Warrod shows he has compassion for his friends and I doubt he'd ignore one of his best friend's son who is now without both of his parents and Makarov and Precht show at least enough of a relationship to make me think that they were close when he was younger, similar to how Laxus was originally close with Makarov.

Which would lead into how being faced with the reality that someone you likely saw as a second parent. Someone who likely helped raise you has become the leader of a dark guild after already having to banish your son and then your grandson had to hurt a lot.

I may have my gripes with how Makarov handled Laxus after Ivan was banished because it's at least implied that Makarov did very little but to scold Laxus with little other repercussions for his actions (Which while Laxus is at fault for his own choices, enabling his bad behaviour wouldn't have taught him a lesson and likely only made him angrier if he thought Makarov didn't care which he kinda did since he mentioned how Makarov should just banish him as well after Ivan was banished) but that would have to hurt a lot and I'm surprised at how little it's touched upon.

Like that would be a great moment to focus on some Makarov character and how that might impact him knowing that two of the people he cared for turning down a cruel path and the third almost joining them only to have the sense literally beaten into him by other people.

I want to know more about what happened in the Dreyar family. Because I do not believe Ivan was born bad. Despite every trait in him trying to convince me that he was always going to be evil because he is the odd one out and everything else under the sun. I can't.

I can see Ivan's behaviour stemming from him feeling neglected as a child. Perhaps Makarov had just recently become guild master and was spending more time focusing on that than on Ivan and we never see Makarov's partner so it's plausible that she isn't around to care for him. It would explain why he hates Fairy tail so much. While Jose was taught that by his dad, Ivan despised the guild because he saw it as the thing that took his father's attention from him which could result in his anger which is then translated onto Laxus. Whether Ivan taught Laxus to hate Makarov and Fairy tail or that was just something Laxus picked up on, it's clear that he didn't see Laxus as a person but more a means to an end. He forces a dragon lacrima into him at a young age which could have killed him if he wasn't so lucky (possibly having an inclination to lightning magic) and how he tries to manipulate Laxus into giving him information on Lumen histoire.

Like Makarov thinking back on how he has handled his own family whether due to his focus shifting unintentionally or something else would be such a powerful moment and more insight into Ivan and possibly Laxus as well as Makarov and would show some flaws.

Because I doubt it would be easy to manage an entire guild and care for a child on your own, never mind a guild as destructive as Fairy tail. It's a lot of responsibility and if he just got given the position recently, of course he'd be focused on his job while he adjusts to the situation.

It also gives Ivan some background to his actions instead of just 'another generic evil dad' because despite how much Ivan gets built up in both Battle of Fairy tail and Grand magic games, they barely do anything with him.

I do like his fight in the games but it just doesn't feel like what was built up to.

I personally would have liked to have more focus on Ivan for a whole arc or have him do more in the games. Have him find out Gajeel was a double agent and want revenge. Go after more members of the guild to antagonise Makarov. Try to use Gajeel or Laxus against Fairy tail in more ways than just information. Force Gajeel to deliberately botch an event in the games to prove loyalty to Ivan or have him risk getting hurt. Have his guild members do more than just mildly inconvenience the FT members. Flare did the most intense stuff with threatening a child and trying to burn the RT symbol onto Lucy and Minerva still upstaged her in brutality. Have the other members get brutal with FT. Instead of winning Chariot, have them attack Natsu and Gajeel because their vulnerable and could make for easy prey to piss off Makarov. (Plus possible parallels to when Gajeel was in Phantom and attacked Levy) Have RT target more members during the night to where they feel unsafe. And then finally, after 3 days of this, Laxus finally sees what his father is truly like in their fight and goes off for all the harm Ivan caused. That would be so much fun to watch and tense. RT just feels like a second fiddle to the Dragon king festival and Sabertooth even though they are the main antagonist in the first three days then Sabertooth picks up that mantle when Minerva beats on Lucy.

I know I went off on a rant about Ivan in a post about Makarov but I sometimes can't help but being up other Dreyar family members in posts about each other. Especially when they are so connected to one another.