#Where does your bacteria go

[nereidprinc3ss]

hi!!! here for a request. can we have a imagine where reader has a wound from surgery or whatever on like in a rib and she hides to change the bandages but then spencer sees her and he’s like ‘lemme help you’ and…

you do you for the rest!

in which spencer helps BAU fem!reader change her bandages in the bathroom at work. it's intimate, and he's adorable and awkward, and it only fuels her terrible, terrible crush.

warnings/tags: fluff, talk/description of wound, brief talk of being stabbed (does not actually occur in this fic lol), reader wears a bra, spencer undoes said bra but not sexually, lots of suggestive humor and teasing, a TINY sprinkling of angst but not really, idiots in love

a/n: i'm picturing early seasons spencer and it is filling me with so much unbridled joy. I. LOVE. HIM. thank you for the request!! and lets not talk about how inconsistent my formatting for requests is pls and thanks!!

It’s not like you meant to bend down so quickly that your wound reopened—but here you are, suffering the consequences of your actions in the women’s bathroom at Quantico as you try to assess the injury before you re-bandage it. And your shoe is still untied. 

Unfortunately, the fact that you had quite literally been stabbed in the back last week makes it hard to reach said injury—especially when you’re at work and so can’t take off your shirt like you normally would. And all this struggling means it’s taking longer than it should, so now you’re focused on the wound and its scabby, wet edges and all the things it’s secreting rather than hurrying to give another statement of the entire event to Hotch since the first one had apparently been too sparse on the details. 

A knock sounds on the open door. Spencer calls your name. 

“You in there?”

The angle of your neck has your voice slightly strained as you call back, “yeah, what’s up? Is it Hotch?” you pause to hiss as you accidentally scratch at the wound with a nail. You don’t even want to know how much bacteria you just introduced to it. “Tell him I didn’t forget our meeting, I’ll be there in—”

“It’s not Hotch. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with your back? I know you said you were going to check on it, but you’ve been in there a while.”

You sigh, dropping your sore arm as you continue to hold up your shirt with the other and regarding the reflection of your back in the mirror. 

“Actually—could you come in here?”

There’s a pause. 

“You want me to come into the women’s restroom?”

“Yes, Spencer. It’s fine. There’s nobody else in here. I just… I need some help, I think.”

The last part is admitted quietly, with an air of defeat. To admit to needing help, is, by your standards, the same as failure. Spencer knows this, which is probably the only reason he puts aside his hesitations and shuffles uncertainly into the tiled room. If you’re asking for help, it’s because you really need it. 

“What do you need help with?” he asks, sweeping his gaze suspiciously around the lavatory as if you were lying about there not being any other women present and this whole thing might be a trap of some sort. 

“It’s gross, and you can totally say no.”

He raises his brows expectantly, before spotting the weeping wound on your back. Unconsciously he steps closer, leaning forward. It’s not your fault, and the gore is not specific to you—anyone’s body would react this way to being stabbed. But you still feel embarrassed by the close attention to such an ugly marring, which nobody besides you and your doctors has actually seen up close.

“That doesn’t look good,” he mutters. The expression on his face is irritatingly familiar—the drawn brows, tightened eyes, barely parted lips—but it takes a moment before you realize what it is. 

“Reid,” you complain. He’s still stooped over slightly to examine the wound, and looks up at you through dark lashes with those infuriatingly warm puppydog eyes.

“What?”

“You’re looking at me the way you look at a dead body on the slab.”

His nose scrunches.

Some might say it scrunches adorably. 

“No, I’m not. That’s just my face.”

“Okay, well stop. It’s freaking me out.”

He pouts—actually pouts. Subtle, but bottom lip jutted out and all. It’s ridiculously endearing. 

“My face freaks you out?”

“Wh—no! That’s not what I said! You have—you have a great face! I didn’t mean—” 

You manage to claw yourself out of the hole you’re digging when you see the dopey smile growing on his face. 

Oh. He was fucking with you. 

He never used to do that. It’s unnerving to be the fucked with instead of the fucker for a change. Especially when it’s Spencer. 

“What did you need me for?” Spencer asks by way of peace offering. You close your eyes and sigh, attempting to collect your thoughts without his presence re-scrambling them.  

“Um—I just need you to put this bandage over it. I can’t reach without taking my shirt off.”

And now you’re forced to wonder if he’s thinking about you shirtless as much as you’re thinking about you shirtless.

“Yeah—don’t do that,” he says absentmindedly, stepping again closer to get a better look before turning to the nearest sink.

For some reason, this offends you. 

“Why not?”

Spencer pulls another face as he washes his hands—you love the constant flow of expressions he always seems so unconscious of. Even when they’re not pleasant and directed at you.  

“Are you asking me why shouldn’t you take your shirt off?” he clarifies. 

“I know why I shouldn’t take my shirt off, but I want to know why you think I shouldn’t take my shirt off.”

“Because we’re at work?” he observes astutely. You frown deeply at his completely logical reply. Spencer chuckles as he dries his hands and approaches once more, taking the square of gauze pre-lined with medical tape from your hand. “I mean, I can’t stop you. But it would be kind of a weird choice.”

“Oh, so me shirtless is weird?”

Cool fingers meet the comparatively hot skin of your back—where everything is still sensitive because the wound wreaked havoc on your nerves there. You flinch slightly. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs gently. Though his touch is so incredibly light it doesn’t really hurt—it hurts much less than when you’re tending to the wound, anyway. It’s almost soothing. After a moment he continues, a bit louder. “And that is not what I was saying. But I am completely comfortable asserting that it would be weird for you to be shirtless at work.”

The gentle touches contrast with his teasing words and serve to disorient you as you’re shaken back in to your usual dynamic. Which is markedly more sarcastic. 

“Well—”

Before you have to think of something to say, Spencer interrupts you. 

“Your, um—I think your… brassiere… is in the way.”

As soon as he says it you burst out laughing. It echoes through the room. 

“My brassiere? Are you actually 70 years old?”

His brows knit even tighter and his face gets very pink very quickly. He can’t meet your eyes over your shoulder. 

“That’s what it’s called.”

“Spencer, you may be the first person to use that word since 1952. Say bra.”

“I don’t want to,” he complains. Your laughter only grows as your head tips back. 

“Why? How is brassiere better than bra?”

“It’s—it’s too colloquial! I’m trying to be professional!”

“Call it a bra or I’m going to rub my dirty hands all over my back,” you threaten, adopting a poker face so he knows you mean business. His eyes widen immediately. 

“Oh my god! Bra! Do you want to introduce staph and meningitis and g—do not do that!”

“See? How hard was that?”

“I hate you,” he mumbles, face still flushed and adorable. “And you still have to take it off.”

“Excuse me?” you grin, pretending to be affronted because you know he didn’t mean it like that but it’s fun to pretend he did. Fun for you, of course. Not so much for him. He's utterly flustered by this point.

“Or at least undo it! It’s in the way.”

With a deeply bored sigh, you go to unclasp your bra—but as you go to do it your shirt drops down. You grimace, humor briefly forgotten as the fabric brushes the damaged skin. 

“I can’t—”

“Okay, just—I’ll do it,” Spencer says. “Just move your shirt again.”

So you do, watching his reflection as he works.

And you have not one joke to break the heavy silence with as you feel his knuckles gently pressing into the middle of your back, as he unclasps the bra with his characteristic tenderness and a surprising amount of agility. It’s quiet except for your pulse in your own ears as he carefully pushes it out of his way, holding it down with a hand to your rib cage and fingertips slipping just under the fabric of your shirt—unintentionally and certainly non-sexual, no doubt, but skimming under your heart in a way that still feels so intimate you’re realizing how touch-starved you are. 

“You do that often?” you find yourself asking, because you’re stupid, and you need to cool the tension before it chokes you, and you can’t help yourself even though you don’t actually want to know the answer. 

“I,” he begins, voice quiet as rustling paper, tongue darting over his lip and eyes narrowed. The sentence stalls as he focuses on placing the patch just so. “Do not think that is an appropriate workplace question.”

Something aches in the pit of your stomach. 

Something resembling jealousy. 

It was not the timid evasive linguistic maneuver of someone who is insecure about the thing they’re discussing. It was not the awkward fumbling no but I don’t want to tell you that which you were expecting from Spencer Reid. 

Nor is it an easy yes—an admission between friends. He doesn’t want to tell you. 

You swallow and try to act like yourself. 

“Yet here you are, in the woman’s restroom at our place of employment, undoing my bra. I think we’re past professionalism.”

“When you decontextualize it like that it sounds like something it���s not. This is professional, because I’m helping you with a wound you sustained on the job. I’m being a good colleague.”

Your lips twist into a smile he can’t see. 

“A great colleague would kiss it better.”

“It's almost like you want me to file a sexual harassment complaint with HR," he says through a little smirk as he smooths the bandage over. Before you can snip back, he steamrolls over his own teasing—you’ve both been speaking in almost reverent tones since he started but his voice loses the sarcastic edge from a second before and reverts back to concerned and sweet. “Does that feel okay?”

You rotate your shoulders best you can without letting go of your shirt or flashing the good doctor to check if it feels secure.  

“It’s good. And hey—if I were going to sexually harass you I would do a lot better than that. You think that’s my best material? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I keep so many inappropriate comments to myself. You’d be shocked by some of the things I have almost said to you.”

He laughs, secures the band of your bra and begins fitting it to the clasp you’d had it on—and at that precise moment Emily walks in. 

“H—woah.”

“It’s—I’m—I was helping her!” Spencer panics, immediately removing his hands from you like his palms are burning and holding them up defensively. 

“Oh, you helped me alright,” you tease, pulling your shirt back into place. 

“Don’t say it like that!” And then, to Emily, “I was changing out her bandage!”

“Changing my bandage,” you emphasize, winking more than is advisable. 

“That’s—this is a hostile work environment! I feel unsafe!” Spencer almost yells, half laughs, as he scampers towards the door. “I’m going to HR!”

“Shut up! You love it!”

His laughter audibly travels farther away for several moments as he presumably goes back down the hallway to do his actual job. 

You have the stupidest grin on your face, but you wipe it off when you notice Emily staring. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” she says, shaking her head and looking away, moving toward a stall. “You’re just… you guys are funny.”

“What do you mean funny?” You demand, standing right outside her stall as she closes it. 

“Wh—I mean funny! Are you going to listen to me pee, you weirdo?”

You frown. 

She makes a good point. 

Unfortunately, giving Hotch a more detailed statement is just as bad as you’d thought it’d be. Despite how cheery you’ve tried to remain about the whole situation, despite the way you insisted that the wound was so shallow you didn’t need more than a few days off work, despite the jokes you make about forgetting it’s even there because it’s on your back—it’s hard not to remember exactly how the glass felt twisting under your skin, how you’d felt suddenly so hot and lightheaded and sick to your stomach and the way Morgan hollered because he didn’t know how deep it had gone after you crumpled quick from shock, when you’re asked to describe it all in excruciating detail. 

It only takes ten minutes, but they seem to drag on and on and by the time you’re leaving Hotch’s office you feel utterly drained. You hurry back to your desk, covertly wiping away moisture that you refuse to allow to become tears. Once seated, and having dodged sympathetic looks and avoided any do you want to talk about its, you allow yourself a few deep breaths with your eyes shut. 

When you open them, you realize there’s a fresh cup of your favorite tea on your desk, in the Snoopy mug the team is always fighting over. Now his little black nose is covered by a square of yellow paper. You’re already smiling as you peel away the sticky note and hold it closer. 

On it is an adorably odd smiley-face, and a note in familiar, messy looping scrawl. 

I would never report you to HR beautiful

That would be a stab in the back!

You snort loudly and clap a hand to your mouth—but you’ve already drawn the attention of almost everyone in the bullpen. 

When you turn to look at Spencer, he’s not looking back. Instead, his eyes are firmly trained on his computer screen. But he’s got his chin propped on his fist over the desk, and his knuckles are doing a poor job of concealing a giant self satisfied grin. He is the only person on the team who knows you well enough to make such a distasteful joke. And he also knows you well enough to know that it would make you feel so much better after your meeting with Hotch than all the well-meaning sincerity in the world ever could.

Funny. 

Maybe that is the right word for what you two are. 

[mxjackparker]

For people who want to have sex on their periods without seeing blood, I present: The Menstrual Sponge!

By inserting these soft tampons before sex and positioning them correctly, you can trust them to safely absorb any blood that flows whilst you're having sex without leaking or causing pain during sex. They're soft and convenient - here's how to use them:

First, you'll want to remove your menstrual sponge/soft tampon from the package. There are lots of different brands to choose from, but you want to make sure that you pick a brand that does not use sea sponges. They are not body safe. Safe menstrual sponges/soft tampons look a lot like beauty blenders and will have a few small cuts in them to help with removal.

This is how a menstrual sponge should look, though the shape might differ a bit depending on the brand! What it should not look like is something with large holes in a yellow or brownish colour and with an irregular shape. There is no way to fully disinfect a sea sponge which means you'd be introducing bacteria to your vagina.

To insert the menstrual sponge, you can squeeze it to make it compact and easier to insert and then push it inside with one or two fingers. You want to have the end without the hole in it going in first. Push it until you reach the end of the vaginal canal and it should naturally slide into place to cover the cervix. Depending on how comfortable you are with it, you can feel around with your fingers to familiarize yourself with how it feels when placed correctly.

When you're ready to remove it, insert your fingers and feel for the hole in the sponge to hook your finger in and pull it out. If you've just had sex, the sponge will have been pressed up against the cervix and the hole might be in a slightly different placement to when you inserted so take a moment to feel for it.

If you are towards the end of your period without much blood flow and had sex for a long time without a lot of lube, the sponge might get a little bit dry and feel uncomfortable to remove or feel a bit stuck. Not to worry, because this is where it being a sponge is very convenient! If you can squirt a little water inside, or take a bath if you don't want to do that, the sponge will soak up water and become soft and easy to remove.

Menstrual sponges/soft tampons are not reusable and they can get expensive, so I wouldn't recommend them for daily use in place of a typical tampon or pad. If you're using them occasionally for sex during your period to avoid the appearance of any blood, they're much more convenient.

Additional note: There are some sexual health charities and projects who give these out for free, especially to sex workers, so if this sounds like it would work for you but they're too expensive then I highly recommend looking into the resources from groups near you!

[emacrow]

So you know the movie Ponyo

What I'm really trying to ask is do you know the mother and the father are like a little thing where the mother looks like an epic Sea Goddess cuz she is and he looks like a sad sickly old man

I'm just imagine that Klarion and Danny

Like Danny looks like an epic beautiful star Death god powerful in the way he moves but it's subtle like he's slowly comforting you to death

And Klarion looks like a crazy witch boy with a cat who look like he's out right feral and about to throw a pipe bomb at you just because he can

I'm just imagining what happens is Young/Dark Justice is worried about Klarion he's been gone for a while and they're wondering what he's planning I imagine they're surprised when they see him with a Lazarus pit

It's a specially surprising when electric entity sticks their head out of the Lazarus pit and starts talking to Klarion as the JLD and YJL hide there waiting for Klarion into demand help our power they watch this being completely start flirting with Klarion

I imagine Klarion and Danny's conversation going like this

Danny: Hello there my amazing chaos what have you came to talk to me about this time

He puts his hands up to pick up Klarion and bring him closer to his face

Klarion: It's that stupid Doctor Fate it's like he doesn't understand too much balance can ruin the order of the world I might love chaos but that would cause a chaos I couldn't even control

Klarion sits down and Danny's hands rubbing his head on one of Danny's fingers as comfort

Danny: Oh my love I could always talk to him and get him to try slow it down a bit if that's what you need

Danny's face turns into one of concern as he says that slowly starting to move around in the bigger than normal Lazarus pit that Klarion found for him

Klarion: No starlight me and Teekl have that old fart handled how about you tell me about your day instead did you find any more stars how is the balance between life and death doing for you

Danny puts him back down as a twinkle goes in to his eyes as he lays down in Lazarus water slowly starting to swim around as he say

Danny: oh Klarion life and death has been amazing and there's a new Star nursery that I found out there it's just wonderful

After Danny says that he pauses for a moment and presents to go underneath the water he comes out looking smaller with white hair and still wearing the same clothing he was wearing when he was larger surprising Klarion by grabbing his hands

Danny: oh Klarion my dear I have an idea how about we let Dr.Fate have what he wants for once in his miserable life let him have order without the balance that he needs that should show him that he needs you should it not

Klarion takes a second to think through It after he does he grabs Danny's hands right back

Klarion: that's an amazing idea Danny I'll stay with you in the infinite realms let's see how Dr Fate work without chaos helping him keep the balance

After that Danny kisses Klarion on the cheek using the the Lazarus pits to take him and Klarion to somewhere called the infinite realms

I'm sorry this is my first time really writing out Klarion I don't know how to write out characters that well I hope it was good that is what I really like is YJ and JLD was just reacting to this conversation since like the plan was listen and find information

You bet damn right that Dr Fate would have trouble keeping the balance, and would probably have the justice league trying to find Klarion because he thinks he up to something but in reality Klarion is in the middle of deep space, playing around with the stars as Danny is molding and feeding the baby star nursery to build a new universe in the making.

Dani is probably with him doing looping loops playing with star dust while Dan beat up any asteroids that had bad bacteria and let some of the good meteorites in that has good bacteria, and frozen water inside of them.

By the the time Justice league figured it out, probably the Green lantern, Hal. He probably gobsmacked and godsmacked straight back where he came form accidentally by Danny's star fueled cape.

[writersdrug]

Please continue to write literally anything for konig, I’m having the worst work week of my life and your fics always sustain me! I just finished chapter 13 and I almost cried because I realised I’d have to wait for more to come out 😔 this isn’t really a request or question just encouragement!!!

I don't have much queued up for König besides I Don't Need You, but here are some headcannons I have!! Also I'm sorry your work week was bad, let König cheer you up

NSFW at the end

We all know he would love to go on rants bout knives, guns, history, etc. But I also imagine that if you tried to chime in with your own, semi-relatable topic he'd glare at you and say "I wasn't finished," before continuing on his schpeel. He's not trying to be mean, he just has to tell you about Richard the third and how he definitely killed the two princes in the tower.

If you ask if the two of you can get a cat, he comes home the next day with one - but he didn't go to the pet store, or a shelter. He went to the restaraunt you always drag him to and waited by the dumpster with a can of tuna. Caught the scruffy thing and brought it to you, tucked under an arm with a big smile on his face.

He had to help you bathe the spitting kitten, poor baby was covered in fleas.

This man unironically adores the bucket of chicken you can get from KFC. Just a pail of chicken all for himself.

If you're out shopping or really anywhere where you take the lead, people are always asking if you're ok - "That man looks like he's following you," they whisper, "do you need me to get someone to walk you out?"

It's just König, standing behind you in a balaclava, hands in his pockets and dark clothing. Just 👁👁

Goes for an hour-long run at 4 am every morning, comes home to shower, then crawls back in bed with you to sleep until you have to go to work.

His phone screen is probably gross. Lock screen is you, doing your makeup and wearing a stunning dress for date night, unaware of König lurking in the doorway for a photo; background is the poster for Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

This man is known as a terror among door salesmen. They're just trying to get him to buy their services for cleaning gutters and he's dragging them to the backyard to show them how he cleans it himself, talking to them for an hour about how you don't need to hire someone to do "simple work"

He plays D&D with other veterans every Thursday night - you both usually host at your house, and he gives you an appreciative smile/pat when you come through with more drinks.

(Based on a tiktok) he once came in through the back door, standing in the dining room awkwardly as he watched you sort through the mail. He stared at you with a blank expression, until you finally looked back at him. "What's wrong, baby?"

He then slapped a lizard on the table, making you scream and throw a pile of mail at the thing as it scurried across the wood. He laughed for a good thirty minutes.

When he's sick, he tries to get away with downing a shot of Everclear and moving on with his day. "Alcohol kills bacteria, no?" (You'll have none of that nonsense, and he's not complaining when you dote on him and hand-feed him soup.)

If you're in the shower, he's in the shower. Doesn't matter if he had one an hour ago.

If you have a child, he loves to gaslight them (especially in their elementary years). Agrees to play Princess with them, but then proceeds to say that he's the Princess.

"I'm always the Princess!"

"Nein, you said I could be this time!"

"No I didn't!"

"Well I'm the Princess, so I make the rules."

Believes eating your pussy will make you feel better in any situation (sometimes it does). Bad day at work? He's kneeling in front of you and telling you to flip your skirt up. Cramps? Orgasms are the best remedy, schatz. Your tomatoes aren't growing well this year? Ah, shucks. Let him eat you out.

Anyways this is bleh but hope this helps!!

[radiocmyk]

Hi this is a positivity post regarding alterhuman diet dysphoria versus actual biology

(unless you already know these things)

To herbivore nonhumans who don't want to/can't do a vegan or vegetarian diet but feel dysphoric about being able to digest meat:

Herbivorous animals are not unable to digest meat.

Animal matter is actually easier for a body to process than plant matter, and herbivorous species need very complex digestive systems in order to support their lifestyles. This is why cows have four stomachs; why horses practically go into critical system failure if they get even a little bit sick. Animals that live mostly by grazing actually still do need nutrients that carnivores and omnivores get through their natural diets, which is why farming supply stores sell salt licks for animals. In the wild herbivores will quite often find ways to sneak some meat into their diets by eating bugs or small vertebrates, if you didn't already know about the fun fact of deer eating baby birds. "Obligate herbivore" meaning an animal that can ONLY physically digest plants is not a real ecological term the way "obligate carnivore" meaning animal that can ONLY physically digest meat is, though you might see it in other usages (i.e., referring to an animal that relies on a plant-based diet for all of its nutrients).

If a wild deer was given access to human society, they would probably not opt for veganism for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having a way to get sodium so easily. This isn't to shame anyone who does choose a vegan/vegetarian diet for species euphoria reasons, but more to reassure folks who can't, you aren't less of an herbivore.

To carnivore nonhumans who feel dysphoric that their body can't digest raw meat like wild carnivores can:

It can!

The reason you don't want to be eating raw meat like a wolf or stoat or monitor lizard is because you will get sick or you will contract a parasite, which might sound like just a different reason to feel disconnected from your species, but here's the main two things:

1. The actuality is that wild wolves and stoats and monitor lizards DO get sick and contract parasites. This is often how wolves and stoats and monitor lizards die in the wild and why ones in captivity, being fed parasite-free meat and having illnesses treated, live longer. There are raw meats you can eat safely, you just have to know where they're sourced from and that they're guaranteed not to have risks! That's why sushi is a thing, and why people say you can technically eat raw cut (not ground) beef but not pork or chicken. Cooked meat is also often tastier and easier for the body to process (cit.: Grug et al. 780,000 BCE) so that's why humans have loved their medium-well steak since they came up with it. And 2. wild predators are "able to eat raw meat" mostly because they killed it, so it's fresh and hasn't been sitting around able to pick up bacteria, the way raw meat you get at a grocery store would have. This is why a lot of prey animals have a "play dead" defense mechanism: most predators do not want to eat something that's already dead, because it might get them sick.

If a wild owl was given access to human society, they would probably not desire only the rawest of meats for connection with their true species; they would more likely appreciate having access to food that had all the pathogens cleaned and/or scorched out of it.

[furiousgoldfish]

Survival skills: Cleaning, Laundry, Living space maintenance

(there's a separate post about cooking, here's a LINK)

So I will assume you're too tired and sick to clean, and in this case we're just trying to prevent actual incidents happening: do not leave food, especially food containing meat or animal products, laying around, because it will cause bacteria and maggots to occur, you don't want that in your home, dispose of them (you can flush bad food in the toilet to get rid, if you don't take out the trash every other day).

In the same vein, sadly dishes sometimes need to get done, if you don't want very odd smells of decomposing food in your kitchen, but it's like, do it once a week in winter, twice a week in summer, and you'll be okay. (High temperature decomposes food quicker). Dishes usually are the most time-consuming cleaning activity because it's something that needs to be done pretty often and it's annoying. You can do it with gloves if you don't like the sensory feeling of it. The absolute easiest way to get it done is to rinse everything as soon as you're done using it, before It gets gross, but do I do that? No. I would never. But it is recommended.

If cleaning is overwhelming, exhausting and just triggering for you, I encourage you to only do whatever is easiest, or even just doing one little area and having that clean and easy to use, without looking at the rest; we're just trying to survive here, not be perfect. No cleaning needs to be perfect, it just has to be done.

Okay, but if you want to have the actual knowledge of how to clean things easily, here's what I do:

Kitchen: I will go against rules and start with sweeping the floors, because I hate walking on messy floor, and having the floor clean already makes the room looks way better, so I don't mind sweeping it once again later. If I have cluttered all the surfaces (which does happen a lot), I will grab all of the things and put them in one spot, like on the table, or the floor, or anywhere just to have all surfaces clean. If there's something dried, grimy or awful happening on the surfaces, the best way to deal with it is to grab a sponge with some soapy detergent, run over the grime, and then leave that to soak 10-20 minutes. Once the dirty part is softened, you can run a wet sponge over it again and it comes out no problem, generally anything you need to clean and it's difficult, leaving it to soak will resolve your issue easily.

So once I've removed all of the things, soaked all the surfaces in soapy water, rinsed them with a sponge, I'll run a dry cloth over it to remove the last of the water, and the surfaces are super clean then. At this point I'll put a cloth on one surface, slowly pick up dish by dish and bring it to the sink and wash it. If the sink is full when I'm starting to wash, it's overwhelming. If I'm bringing in things in one by one, it feels easy, I'm just washing one thing. Once I've washed a dish, I put it on the cloth to dry. Once I'm done with all of the dishes, the pile of stuff I've compiled is usually almost empty, if there's something left like ingredients, decorations, or whatever else, I'll put it back where it belongs. I'll wash the sink and the stove top, when they're also completely free of stuff, and at the end sweep the floor again and wash it. And the kitchen is done!

Bathrooms usually need something acidic for cleaning, you either need a specific bathroom cleaner, or some vinegar (optionally with baking soda). This is because water leaves a lot of calcification on the surfaces, and acidic stuff melts calcium! It takes a while, so like before, it's best to put away all of the things that are stuck in the bathroom, use a sponge to cover everything in bathroom cleaner mixed with water, or just vinegar, leave it for 20 minutes to soak. After that, you should be able to rinse it off, or maybe scrub a little in some places where calcium is a bit heavy, and you should have a clean bathroom.

If you're cleaning a wooden floor, the best way to go about it, is to have a bucket of water, with some floor-cleaning product, few spoons of it mixed with water, and a cloth you can drop in it. Wooden floors can easily get water damage, so you do not want to have them wet for more than few minutes! You squeeze the water out of that cloth as good as you can, and then you can attach it to some squeegee or a broom or whatever you have, (if you don't have a floor cleaning tool) and slide it over the floor to clean it. It should take a few minutes to dry and then you have a clean floor!

If you have a very dirty floor, and it's not wood, but like tiles or something that doesn't get damaged with water, the easiest way to get it cleaned is to put very wet cloth over it, and to soak it a lot. I will not squeeze the water out at all if I'm deep-cleaning tiles, I'll let it all get super wet. Then, you rinse your cloth, squeeze it maximally so it's near dry, and start collecting the dirty water with it. This way, all of the dirt will get melted in water, the floor will be covered with dirty water, and you're collecting that dirty water and taking it away! It's better than just sliding, because sliding in a very dirty area will just mix the dirt, not remove it. You keep rinsing and squeezing your cloth to near-dryness, until you've collected all of the water in it, and then it should be clean or nearly-clean, you can still slide over it in a normal way with a cloth if you want perfect.

Cleaning in general, has no clear rules, you can do it your own way, however you want, with whatever you want. It's recommended to start at the top, clean top shells first and go down from there, do the floor last, but you don't have to listen, clean how it fits you. If you want more tips and really useful information on how to clean hard-to-clean surfaces, go see 'auriikatarina' on youtube, she's a professional cleaner and will make cleaning look both easy and satisfying.

Organizing: When you're organizing your stuff, the easiest way to make everything look neat is to stack things upright, and do it so everything in one category is put together (your books in one place, pencils in another, clothing is in the third spot, your sanitary products in another spot), and line it up so the tallest stuff is in the back, and shortest stuff at the front. In this way you can look at your stuff and immediately see everything, nothing is hidden from view. If you can find cool places in your home to store things from specific category, it will be the easiest to find each time. You want to be able to see everything without rummaging trough it, or attempting to remember where things are, it should be logical. If you can't categorize your stuff, or can't figure out how to organize it, think about how it would be organized in a store, and where would they put it – this helps figure out the logical category and way to store it.

Maintaining your living space

Things break sometimes, or get clogged, and if you watch out periodically for these things, you can prevent a lot of it! If you make sure never to let food get inside of your sink, and have the little plastic things in your bathtub that stops the big pieces from getting in your drain, you can prevent a lot of clogging. Kitchen and bathroom sink have a part underneath that can be dismantled (unscrewed) and you can see if there's any dirt or hair in it, and clear it out, to prevent potential clogging. If you can tell the water is draining very slowly in your sinks or your bathhub, there are drain unclogging products that you can buy, and just pour down your drain in order to clean it, before it gets actually clogged! I do this every time when I feel it's draining slow, and it prevented actual clogging for years now.

It's customary to clean all of the windows in your house, and wash the curtains in your washing machine, at least once a year, twice if you want to be super attentive to it, and this will actually improve the quality of air in your space. Yearly deep cleaning, when you move all the furniture and get to all of the dust, grime and spiderwebs stuck in there, will also improve the air quality, because all of that dust is constantly circulating in the air you breathe and it makes a noticeable difference to clean it.

Airing out the rooms should happen daily, even when it's winter it's good to air the space even for a few minutes, it will improve the amount of oxygen you have in your living space and prevent bad smells from happening. Sometimes you should take a clean broom or cloth and wipe the grime from your ceiling and walls, I rarely do this, but like if you see unattended spiderwebs in there, it will make a difference if you remove those (live spiders can stay, they take care of the flies).

Walls of your living space should be repainted, I think every 5-10 years? I think people have different preferences, I'm okay with walls getting slightly dirty. Usually the kitchen will be the worst because the walls absorb all the fumes from cooking. And, any place you have heating, radiators and such, it will darken the walls. This is normal and happens to everyone.

If you have mold anywhere, that needs to be tended to immediately, there's products for destroying the mold, you should not let that linger on the walls, and it means that either your place is not well protected from the outside wetness, or that you need better air circulation in that space. Do not just repaint it either, mold is poisonous and it grows, wetness and dampness helps it spread, dryness, fire, good dry air circulation kills it. If you have mold in your bathroom, like at the edges of your bathtub, you can destroy it by soaking patches of toilet paper with bleach, covering the mold with that toilet paper, and leaving it like that overnight. Some people say it works with vinegar too, but I haven't tried that. Don't spend time in bleach-soaked bathroom though! Get out of there, bleach fumes are not good for you. And don't mix any, ANY cleaning products together, especially not with bleach, you can create poisonous fumes, and they can gas you.

Carpets should be cleaned once a year, usually they're scrubbed with water and some carpet-cleaning product, in the old times we used just plain soap! There's now dry carpet cleaners too so you can try that as well if you don't feel like washing the entire thing by hand.

Laundry

So every washing machine works differently, but the basics are the same: you can pick a program and temperature, and click start. I have one dial with numbers of different programs, and it's like 'cotton, polyester, whites, quick wash, eco wash, colored' and I don't know what the difference is, I think whatever program you choose, the stuff will get washed, it's a washing machine, it will just take a different amount of time.

The basics of using it are: you put the clothing in, you close it. You open the little compartment by the top, which offers you a place to put detergent, and fabric softener. You can be okay without fabric softener. You figure out where to put the detergent, and put whatever amount you feel is necessary. You close that compartment. You click start. The washing machine starts working and tumbling your clothing around with water and detergent. It takes an hour, sometimes more. After it's done, you can easily open the door to your clothing. The clothing is wet and clean, you take it out, you put it up to dry.

What is important to know, is that if you put colored clothing in a high-temperature wash, it's likely to bleed color, and sometimes this color can attach to your other clothing, so if you accidentally put one red sock with your white stuff, and put it to wash oh a high temperature, you might color all your white stuff into pale red or pink. Which is fun and nothing to feel bad about, except if you really need all that stuff to stay white.

Colored stuff is usually washed on lower temperatures, it can even be washed cold, so from 0-60 is okay. It's recommended to wash winter stuff with other winter stuff, and light summer fabrics with other light fabrics, just because heavy fabrics will usually pull in more water and detergent, so your light fabrics might get neglected. There's different detergents for colored and white stuff, and I usually ignore that too because both can wash both stuff.

White stuff needs to be washed on higher temperatures sometimes, especially your undergarments because they take in a lot of sweat and stuff, and can get less white if you never put them in boiling temperatures. It's normal to put them on 90 degrees. However! Don't ever put super stretchy fabric on high temperatures, because if it has a lot of elastine in it, which is plastic, it can melt! I accidentally destroyed a white hat by putting it in with whites, it was no longer stretchy because all of the stretchy stuff got completely melted in hot water.

I don't have a dryer, so I cannot help you there, usually after the clothes is washed I'll put it on a clothing line, it dries the best in the sun, but will dry anywhere (except exposed to rain, you need to not put it in rain).

If your washing machine starts smelling odd, it's possible that some mold or bacteria is happening in there, and you can disinfect it and clean it by putting a lot of baking soda inside, and then pouring vinegar into the detergent slot. You put the washing machine to a quick wash, with hot water, and this should resolve the issue. Also if you leave wet clothing in there without taking it out and drying it, for more than 24 hours, it is going to develop mold for sure, and this can actually ruin your clothing (I had it happen to a few garments, they got black stains, it's not nice).

If you don't have a washing machine, you can still hand-wash your stuff. Putting it into a bucket with some warm water and detergent, rubbing it together, rinsing and squeezing the water out a few times, and then rinsing in clean water until only clean water is getting out of it – that can work just fine. Sometimes if you need just one garment clean and don't want to use the machine, it's best to just hand-wash it. If your clothes are basically clean but just a little sweaty, rinsing it a few times in water and detergent will make them nice again. If you have some hardcore stains that cannot be washed out even with a washing machine, there's products likes spot-cleaner, and bleach, to help you with that. However you can never use bleach on colored clothing, because it will make very ugly stains on it, bleach is only for pure whites!

Alright this is all I can immediately think of, I probably left some things out, and if anyone wants to add to this, or correct me or anything feel free! I hope this helped you feel less overwhelmed, and more informed about how to successfully live independently. Also if there's questions you want to ask go ahead! This knowledge can be hard to get by if nobody had ever taught you.

Also, this is not something you learn all at once, just from reading one post. You don't need to immediately absorb all of this knowledge, or know how to do it all at once. This is stuff that is learned over months and years or living alone and figuring it out, and none of it is difficult or impossible to do. There's no punishments for doing it wrong, maybe some annoying dealing with some stuff. Nobody should shame you if you don't know all of this, I knew none of it when I started living on my own. I learned it a bit of here and there, and I'm compiling it so it would be more accessible, but none of it needs to be followed directly or done perfectly, and you can ignore some of it completely.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi there, i have a character in my original story who is blind, specifically because he lost both eyes (one from injury, one from infection at birth). However, he doesn't have access to prosthetic/glass eyes as he lives in a secluded group of warriors. I've been drawing him with a blindfold to protect from infection, but upon reading your posts about eye coverings on blind characters, i'm unsure if this is offensive or not, but i also can't think of a good alternative other than going bare. He is a warrior, so i don't think glasses would stay on for very long, but i'm wondering if maybe goggles would work? Hes not the only blind character i have (one of the others is a born-blind cane user who does not wear glasses) but i still don't want to misrepresent or spread misinformation. Any help would be appreciated, thanks

Hello!

@blindbeta has an excellent post on the subject, which I'll link here [Link].

In your character's case, the cover would serve more for protecting their eyes and less for photophobia or other sensitivities. One of the points that's mentioned heavily in the post is to ask why your character is using a cover for their eyes.

In this case, you've already answered that question. Your character needs to protect their eyes from infection and further damage but doesn't have the option of prosthetics and glasses are inconvenient and could fall off or get in the way.

That being said... wouldn't a blindfold also get in the way?

A blindfold would be more of a problem in combat than a pair of glasses with a strap securing them. A blindfold gives his opponent another way to grab onto him (Think of ponytails) or something else to get caught on.

Also, if the goal is preventing infection, a blindfold would do the opposite here. Fabric is notorious for encouraging the growth of bacteria, fungi, and other microorganisms. When it's pressed up against your character's eye sockets while they're fighting and sweating, it's also creating a very humid and moist environment.

Back when I was still rock-climbing and would go blindfolded, the blindfold would become gross and sweaty after just a few rounds. I don't even want to think about how it would have been after a day of fighting and adding in the blood and other fluids that would be on it. This can be especially problematic if your character is living in a secluded place where he may not be able to properly wash the blindfold as often as needed.

In general, the goggles (Or a pair of secured glasses) may be a better way to go. They'd be less of a liability in combat and be much more effective at preventing infection than a blindfold would be. There's also the fact that they would be much easier to clean if it ends up being necessary.

Now, you didn't specifically ask about this but I would just like to point out that prosthetic eyes aren't just used for preventing infection. Prosthetic eyes allow you to maintain the function of your eyelid and ensures that your eye socket keeps its shape. Depending on your character's circumstances, this may or may not be a concern for them.

Regardless, I'd definitely suggest looking into this and giving it some thought if you haven't.

Here's a few links to get you started:

A brief article discussing the benefits of prosthetic eyes.

An article that talks about prosthetic eyes in general. It also includes some brief information on prosthetic eyes in the past, which may be of interest to you.

Some FAQs about prosthetic eyes. Most of this is more specific to the current prosthetics offered but has some general info as well.

If you haven't done so already, I'd also advise checking out the linked post from @blindbeta since it has some excellent information about the specific trope.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icaus

[thefirsthogokage]

Very helpful thread made for those walking the picket lines by an EMT in Florida:

(screen shots from here on out. Too many images to put in one post. Sorry for the dark mode switch ahead of time)

[Image ID: a tweet thread made by @TheMaryGirls on July 18th, 2023 that reads in its entirety (though combined where appropriate and tweet numbers removed for condensing):

This is for the strikers everywhere since I'm nowhere near a picket line. This is the least I can do:

I am an EMT in Florida, one of the hottest states in the country on a regular basis. These are things you can do to protect yourself from the heat

1. Water

Water is great, your body needs it to live. You can go longer without food than you can without water. It's vital. If you become too dehydrated you can lapse into something called Hypovolemic shock which is the most dangerous form of shock because, usually, by the time you realize something is wrong, you're already in a bad position.

When you sweat, you're not just losing water. You're also losing salt, potassium, chloride, magnesium, & calcium. To combat this, you should drink something with electrolytes.

You can also eat a banana in order to avoid cramping that can occur with the loss of potassium. You don't want to be the one doing the Charley Horse Hustle on the line when people have phone cameras. You can also eat fruit and veg with high water content. They helps.

A word of caution about ice water. I know the idea of a big bottle of ice water sounds great when you're sweating your balls off on the line but NO! That can be dangerous. Your body temperature is up due to the heat. You chug a bottle of ice water like you used to do with Smirnoff Ice in college, you'll regret it. Ice water will cause your body temperature to drop which fraks up your homeostasis. You can experience stomach craps, fainting, and, on some weird occasions, cardiac arrest. Face planting on the pavement isn't cute.

One way you CAN use ice water safely is by soaking a t-shirt or towel and putting it on your head to help cool you off. Also, cold rags around the wrists can also cool you down. You've seen construction workers with the t-shirts on their heads? This is why.

2. Whole body

If you get blisters on your feet, you need to treat them. Also, don't force pop them, you're just asking for trouble. When they rupture, they need to be cleaned with soap and water (no alcohol or peroxide) and protected. Band-Aids won't really help here.

Band-Aids can easily slip off and give bacteria a chance to move in and really get gross. Liquid bandage is the better option. It's waterproof but it does sting when you put it on so be warned.

If you experience muscle cramps on the line, you need to deal with them. This is your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Sit down, drink something. Stretching before picketing can also help prevent them. Let's be honest, as writers, we sit. A LOT.

Going from a cave dwelling hermit to bright sunlight and exercise is going to piss your entire system off. Icy Hot and hot baths will be your friend.

3. Dehydration warning signs.

Muscle cramps

light headed

headaches

feeling very thirsty

dark urine

urinating less often

feeling tired

dry mouth, lips, or tongue

skin tenting

confusion

That's all that I can think of at the moment.

GO FUCK EM UP!!!!!!!

/End ID]

Bonus:

[Image ID: Tweeted comment on the thread from @/sardoniccomment that reads:

Every word of this is good advice, but, as a former desert-dweller, there’s something I need to add: dehydration makes you stupid. It can literally prevent you from being able to figure out the source of your problems is dehydration.

/End ID]

[soft-mafia]

Take Me With You [Buggy x Reader] [Part 2]

warnings: fem reader, oc insert, age gap(reader is 19), smut, oral(fem receiving), cream pie

a/n: here’s part 2!! Hope you guys enjoy I made this one a little extra spicy🤭 I listened to Norman Fucking Rockwell while writing this is that means anything to you guys.

part 1

Once Buggy had hauled Y/n onto his ship, his crew began to gawk at her, thinking that their captain had taken something for himself while he was away.

Y/n felt the eyes on her, feeling a lot of the men eying her up.

Buggy rolled his eyes and put his hand on top of Y/n’s head, “Ok, ok everybody shut up!” Buggy shouted, “Here’s how this is gonna go, if I see any of you touching her, looking at her, or speaking to her, you’re getting thrown overboard. Does that sound good?” His crew had become even more silent, and Y/n could feel the lustful stares leaving her body, which gave her some relief.

“Ok. Great, everybody get back to work and let’s get out of this damn place.” Buggy sighed and grabbed Y/n’s forearm, dragging her in the direction of his quarters.

“Wait so I’m not allowed to talk to anybody on your crew?!” Y/n huffed at Buggy, expecting him to be protective but not overprotective. “Listen cupcake, you don’t know my crew, if those guys talk to you it’s safe to assume they’d wanna get in your pants.” He replied, shoving her into his room and closing the door behind himself, “Maybe after a while once they get used to seeing you, but not now.”

Y/n nearly toppled over due to how roughly he shoved her, but she quickly regained balance and looked around his room.

It wasn’t exactly how she pictured it would look like in her head.. it was, messy. Not a collected, organized mess, but literally messy.

She noted the empty and half empty bottles of booze on one of the tables, that probably been there for who knows how long. The bed wasn’t made, tins of grease paint scattered over a vanity along with dirty makeup brushes. She walked over to it, picking up one of the brushes, “You really need to clean these.”

Buggy walked over to her and took it out of her hand, setting it back where it was, “It’s fine, it’s just face paint.”

“Yeah, but like- bacteria build up.”

Buggy ignored her, jerking his coat off and then pulling his bandana off, letting his long blue hair fall gracefully down his back. He sighed as he raked his fingers through his scalp. Y/n couldn’t help but watch him— the way his muscles moved, his long hair that she actually never seen before until now. How did he get it all tucked in that bandana?

She set her backpack filled with all of her stuff down on his vanity chair, thankfully her bag was big enough to fit all of her clothes and other shit she got from the Going Merry.

“Ok princess, it’s been a while since I had a good nap, so I’m gonna crash for a while.. uh, don’t leave the room. Just.. I dunno keep yourself entertained.” Buggy grumbled, beginning to take his vest off; he didn’t know if he should strip completely down to his underwear like he usually did since Y/n was here.. so he decided to just keep his pants on.

“What- you’re just gonna sleep?” Y/n scoffed and crossed her arms.

Buggy looked at her as he tossed his vest to the ground, “Yeah, my head was in a— wet, sandy bag for the past few days, I think I deserve a nap.” He huffed, “You should’ve brought stuff to keep you busy, it’s not like I have any coloring books or fucking.. dolls or anything.”

“I did bring stuff, I brought all of my stuff.” Y/n said as she looked through her bag.

“Damn, you were prepared huh?” Buggy said as he walked over to her, looking down into her bag; he got interested upon seeing a sliver of what looked to be a a lacy bra.. but he didn’t bring it up.

He looked at Y/n, his eyes slowly drifting down to her cleavage, “What were you gonna do if I said no? You would’ve packed all this shit for nothing.” He began to imagine a sad looking Y/n, back on that straw hat’s ship putting all of her stuff back where it was if Buggy rejected her..

“I would’ve just begged you until you said yes.” Y/n looked up at Buggy, god he was so handsome with his hair down, the way he looked down at her with those gorgeous eyes were making her swoon all over again.

She could look at him and admire him all day if she could.

Buggy however, didn’t want her looking at him for more than 2 seconds, he slowly turned his gaze away once his eyes met hers; Buggy knew if she looked at him for longer than that, seeing all of his flaws, ragged stubble, his damn nose. He knew whatever little “fantasy” she had of him would quickly fade upon seeing how repulsive and hideous he was. He already felt a bit uneasy being shirtless, seeing her look at his hairy chest; did she not like what she saw?! I mean she was the one who decided to run off with a grown ass man she should know what a man’s body looks like, why was she staring so much?!

Why couldn’t she be happy with that blonde waiter boy? Or that fit looking swordsman? Or that kid making the bomb.. whatever that kid’s name was.

Why him of all people? A bitter, hideous clown with an equally hideous nose.

“Begged me? Am I that worth it, hot stuff?” Buggy scoffed and laughed before going over to his bed and flopping down, sighing as he rested his arms behind his head.

“I think you’re more than worth it.” Y/n giggled and walked over to sit beside his laying body, looking down at his abs, her eyes drifted towards his happy trail. Having his body here was much better than just having his head. There was so much more to look at and admire she felt like she was about to explode. She laid down beside of Buggy, snuggling into his side.

Y/n brushed some strands of his hair away so she could rest her head on his chest. Buggy’s eyes widened a little bit, “You gonna sleep with me?” He chuckled, then mentally cringed at the phrasing he used.

“I mean there’s nothing else to do.. you don’t want your crew flirting with me so I can’t really leave.” She giggled, then traced Buggy’s collar bone with the tip of her finger, she then noticed his necklace; it wasn’t anything fancy but it looked like a silver coin, “Where’d you get this from?” Y/n asked with curiosity, gently holding the silver pendent between her fingers.

“I saw it on some old geezer one day and thought it looked flashy.” Buggy looked down at Y/n, eyeing her up once more; not with lust but genuinely trying to examine her. This was.. way too suspicious for him. Why was this attractive, young woman clinging onto him? She wanted to beg to come with him, she said she felt safe with him.

This couldn’t just be due to the fact he was a bit of a sweet talker while she took care of his severed head. Y/n had to have an ulterior motive.. this had to be some kind of.. scheme!

A scheme from that damn straw hat!! They wanted to use one of the pretty girls on their crew to catch him off guard? Give him a false sense of security? Yeah right. Buggy wasn’t going to be so trusting with this girl.

Y/n let go of the necklace and rested her arm over his chest, her eyes moved up towards the window, watching the bright blue sky and the clouds. She looked like a puppy, like a small, helpless animal. There was no way this wasn’t a trap of some sort.

Buggy furrowed his brows and sat up suddenly, making Y/n sit up as well, “Ok, enough with the damn puppy dog eyes.. what the fuck are you playing at here?!” Buggy growled, grabbing Y/n’s neck, holding under her jaw.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Y/n gasped slightly, looking up at Buggy with wide eyes.

“You can’t possibly be serious?!” Buggy huffed, “Why did you come here? I had every intention to kill you and the rest of those kids, and now you’re just.. rubbing up on me and looking at me with those damn eyes— STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, GAH!!” Buggy growled and pulled away, standing up from the bed. He put his hands over his face.

Those puppy dog eyes, they’re really going to kill him.

“You’re planning something. You and Shanks’ kid, you guys are trying to punk me, aren’t you?” Buggy looked back at Y/n, rage in his eyes.

Y/n felt a shiver go down her spine, she shook her head, “N-No?? Who’s Shanks? I’m not planning anything, I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Buggy stared at Y/n for another moment, glaring angrily, examining her but he just couldn’t understand why.

“I mean, yeah you were going to kill me but.. I thought that, when we spent time together and I took care of you, we kind of..” Y/n looked down, trying to find the right words to say, “Forgot about all of that, I guess.”

“I don’t get it.” Buggy looked away, shaking his head, he put a hand over his eyes before grumbling and looking back at her, “It doesn’t make sense, why me? I’m old enough to be your father!! And I’m not that easy on the eyes-”

“What are you talking about?! You’re gorgeous!” Y/n interrupted, taking Buggy off guard, “You’re the handsomest guy I’ve ever seen!”

“And promised you’d take care of me.” Y/n whispered, looking down at her lap. Buggy’s eyes widened slightly.

Y/n had Buggy’s head sitting on her shelf while she got changed out of his view. “-I mean, what makes a pretty girl like you want to be a pirate.”

Occasionally Buggy would turn around to get a peek; quickly turning away when Y/n would check to see if he was looking, “Because trust me sweetheart, it’s not that glamorous.”

“It’s not the whole pirate thing I’m thrilled about,” Y/n said, finally changed into her sleeping clothes which was just a silk tank top and black micro shorts, “I just wanna go out and see the world.” She fixed her hair in the mirror, making sure it was ok for her to sleep on it.

Buggy couldn’t help but roll his eyes, but it was more of a playful eye roll. As generic as that sounded, and as much as he wanted to be bored.. there was a charm to this little girl. It was also cute how she pranced around, prettifying herself for sleep of all things.

“You know how many people say that but then chicken out once they get out on sea? I got kids wanting to run off and join the circus thinking it’s all sea shanties and shit, but then panic and throw themselves overboard after one rogue wave.” Buggy laughed, it was morbid but.. a guy like him found it hilarious.

“Well, I’m not a kid.” Y/n turned around to look at Buggy, her hands on her hips, “And I’m not afraid of waves, I can take care of myself just fine.”

Buggy eyed Y/n up and down, smirking a bit, “Oh yeah? I can take care of you even better, cupcake.” He grinned, telling himself he was just buttering her up, but damn if he had his body he’d probably already plowed her by now. Y/n’s eyes widened, noticeably getting flustered over his shift in tone; it was deep, gruff, the way he looked at her wasn’t helping either.

“If you want.. you can put me between your legs and we can have some fun.” Buggy snickered, “I know I’m just a head but my mouth can work wonders, baby.”

Buggy sucked in an inhale, then smacked his lips together as he looked so the side, “I did say that didn’t I..” his teeth clenched before he looked back at her, “I mean I didn’t promise it, but I did say that.”

“Well I took it as a promise.” Y/n huffed, looking off to the side with a pout.

“Just because you took something as a promise, doesn’t mean it’s a promise, sweetheart. You’re gonna get your heart broken if you keep doing that.” Buggy sighed and walked back over to her, standing at the edge of the bed in front of her.

There was a good silence before Y/n spoke up again.

“So.. everything you said back there, was a lie?” Y/n whispered. Buggy sighed and held the side of her face, then turned it so she could look up at him, “I mean, not all of it.” He said, in that same deep, rough voice that drove her wild.

“You’re really a pretty girl Y/n. You shouldn’t be with someone like me. I don’t know why you want to, but the fact that I got you so whipped over me because of one interaction is kind of weird.”

“You were literally talking about how you wanted to fuck me!! What did you expect?!” Y/n frowned at him.

“Ok look, the first couple of times I was just trying to tick you off!! It’s not like I planned to have you falling for me.” It was the truth, as soon as Sanji handed his head off to Y/n, he knew he could take advantage of the situation. Saying creepy shit to the pretty girl on the crew, making her uncomfortable.. he never expected her to imprint on him like a fucking duckling.

Maybe he did a bit too much when Y/n accepted those advances but.. she was cute and it turned him on, he couldn’t help himself.

“Then you should know better than to flirt with people!” Y/n crossed her arms.

Buggy rolled his head back as he rolled his eyes, he groaned before looking back down at her, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” He said, albeit in a sort of mocking tone, but he was sorry, “Anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Y/n looked down, eyeing at Buggy’s belt area for a moment before looking back up at him, “Um..” she felt heat rise to her cheeks; back on the boat she did think about putting Buggy’s head between her legs.. but she was way too nervous too. Even now that the man had his body, it made her even more nervous.

“Hm?” Buggy hummed quietly, his thumb rubbing back and forth gently across her cheek. He knew she wanted something.. he wanted her to spit it out.

“I can take you up on that offer.. putting your head between my legs.” Y/n looked down, her thighs pressing together as she spoke quietly, like she was embarrassed to say those words— which she was. Embarrassed and so nervous.

Buggy smirked widely, he rubbed Y/n’s cheek before patting it gently, “You want that? Alright. Lay down, princess.”

Y/n was laying flat on the bed now, Buggy loomed over her, he tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her, sucking on her top lip before moving down, his hands traveling down with him until he got between her legs. He pulled off her shorts, then her panties and tossed them off the bed.

He spread her thighs wide, his large hands gripping them. Buggy admired Y/n’s pussy, how it was already dripping wet, those pretty little folds and that nice clit.. his boner pressed into his pants and made him groan under his breath.

Buggy leaned down, his nose pressed to her clit as he reached his tongue out and began to lick long stripes into her pussy. Y/n shivered, legs trembling which made Buggy’s grip on them tighten.

Y/n turned her head to the side to bury them into the pillows, muffling her moans and whimpers into them. Buggy grunted softly and moved his hand up to jerk Y/n’s face away from the pillows, “Let me hear you, baby.” Buggy grumbled into her pussy, moving his lips upward to suck and lap at her clit. Y/n trembled, whimpering and moaning loudly as Buggy held her face right up.

Buggy’s hands slowly slid to Y/n’s sides, thumbs gently placed under her breasts as he sucked on her pussy. Damn this was good. Truth be told he hadn’t gotten any action since he was.. I don’t know, 21? And it was only one time on his birthday with a drunk hooker.. he barely even remembered it, he was too busy being a captain now to even focus on sex, just jacking himself off into a rag whenever he needed that kind of relief.

He began to feel more grateful for having Y/n here now, he wouldn’t have to waste hand towels anymore when he could just shoot his load into her.

The thought of Y/n being his personal fuck doll made him harder, he was practically humping his boxers at this point, her pussy tasted amazing; the perfect combo of sweet and salty, nice and juicy like he wanted it.

He squeezed her sides lightly and made Y/n let out a loud mewl. Buggy groaned and grunted as he humped the blankets while sucking her pussy. “A-Aaahh~!! Aahh!” Y/n threw her head back, her pussy clenched and fluttered, she never realized how sensitive she was until Buggy started eating her out. She was trembling all over, already about to cum.

Buggy was groaning and huffing like a dog into her pussy, licking up all of her juices, sucking on her clit. He growled deeply, wanting to pound her into his mattress until the ship sank.

Y/n let out a loud yelp and came hard on Buggy’s tongue, squirting a bit and getting her juices on him. “A-Ahh~ s-sorry..” Y/n looked down at Buggy, seeing the lower half of his face was soaking wet, dripping off of his stubble.

He wiped it off with his hand after licking some off of his lips before chuckling, “What are you sorry for, sweetheart?” He smirked, sitting up on his knees and nestling himself between her legs, beginning to unbuckle his belt.

Y/n blinked slightly, “What are you doing? I already came..” She asked breathlessly. “Yeah? Well I haven’t even gotten my dick wet, sweetheart.” Buggy mumbled, his words made Y/n’s belly tingle with that aroused feeling again, “So just lay back and let daddy take care of you.” He winked at her before freeing his dick from his pants. Y/n eyes widened slightly as she looked down at it, it was huge; bigger than expected. Oh god.. “Is that gonna fit?”

Buggy paused for a moment, looking at Y/n before laughing loudly, gently slapping her inner thigh as he laughed, “Of course it’s gonna fit. Aww, that’s cute.” Buggy chuckled, breathing out before slapping his cock against her wet pussy, “And if it doesn’t, I’ll make it fit.” His voice went deep and husky again, the sudden change of tone made Y/n shiver in arousal.

Buggy groaned deeply when he pushed his cock deep into Y/n. Her back arched as she let out a loud yelp; it was so huge, he was filling her up so well, stretching her out, tip kissing her cervix. “Mmmm-!!” Y/n whimpered, her hips trembled. Buggy let out another groan and rocked his hips back and forth, holding Y/n’s legs up as he did so, “That’s a good girl, see? Fits like a glove.” Buggy laughed through a grunt, his voice gravelly as he began to thrust.

She was so tight, damn it felt good cramming his dick in there. Buggy’s abs clenched as he plowed into her, making the bed creak underneath them. Y/n was moaning so loudly; his crew could probably hear but that’s exactly what Buggy wanted. Just a little kink of his.

Y/n gripped the pillows beside her head and whined, twitching, whimpering and moaning. Buggy squeezed Y/n’s legs, “Yeah that’s it, let it all out, tell everyone who owns you.” Buggy growled, thrusting faster into her. Y/n looked up at Buggy; his body casted a shadow over hers from the light shining in from the window.

“B-Bugggyyy!!” Y/n moaned out, legs trembling in his grip as burning pleasure took over her body. “Don’t you dare cum yet, I just stuck my dick in you, you little shit.” Buggy growled, sending a mix of both fear and arousal through Y/n. His tone was so demanding and dominant— and he was so handsome looming over her, she was going nuts.

Y/n squirmed, trying to hold it in, but she was so sensitive and he was stretching her out so much. Buggy tilted his head back and thrusted rougher into her. “B-Buggy.. B-Buggy please..!”

“Wait.” Buggy growled, looking down at Y/n’s tits, the way they bounced as he fucked her; she was probably the hottest girl he’d ever seen. “You wanted this cock, baby.. You were gonna beg me for this cock.” Buggy grunted, “Don’t be going ‘pleaseeee’ at me. Lay there and take my fucking dick like a good girl.”

Y/n moaned at his words, she was trembling all over, so close to spilling over and cumming. “Aa-Aahhh~!” She couldn’t hold it in anymore, she gasped loudly as she came around his cock, her pussy clenching and fluttering. The sudden tightness made Buggy hunch forward and groan deeply in pleasure.

He let out a guttural, primal sound as he plunged harder into her, “We’ll work on that.” Buggy huffed out, his words almost drowned out from the wet sounds of skin slapping skin and the loud squeaks coming from the bed.

It wasn’t long before Buggy was grunting louder, teeth bared and eyes screwed shut, every muscle in his body twitching as he came into Y/n, cumming deep inside of her pussy and filling her up. Y/n was whimpering, moaning and panting heavily, she could barely keep her eyes open.

Buggy groaned and flipped his long hair to the side to keep it from falling over his face. He breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling with every breath. “Fuck..” he groaned and pulled out, watching his cum leak from her pussy, he glanced at Y/n, spreading her thighs a bit, “You ok?” He asked breathlessly.

Y/n looked up at Buggy and nodded, “Mhm..”

Buggy smirked and gently patted her thigh, “Good girl.” He flopped down on the bed beside of her, sighing heavily, “Right.. about that nap.” He sighed, then turned over with his back facing Y/n. He was exhausted to say the least.

Y/n whined and wrapped her arm around him, “You’re not gonna at least cuddle with me?! This is horrible aftercare!!”

“Jeez alright!!” Buggy chuckled and turned to face Y/n, suddenly encasing her in his strong arms, holding her close to his chest and pressing his lips against the top of her head, giving her kissing and lightly scratching her with his stubble. “Are you gonna be this needy when you’re with me?” Buggy joked.

Y/n snuggled against Buggy’s hairy chest, her arm still wrapped around him as his scent invaded her nose, “Mmm, maybe.” She giggled up at him, “If you don’t take care of me like you promised.”

[howtofightwrite]

If someone was shot through the thigh (Nothing major hit, clean entry/exit wounds if logistically possible, how long would it take before they could walk without an aid of some kind? I'm counting hobbling and limping as walking.

Follow Up Question: Any idea what kind of med care that would need without getting a hospital involved with it?

So, this is one of those times where the answer really is, “it depends.” While you can't walk off a gunshot wound, getting shot in the leg might not actually stop you from walking or running, though this comes with a caveat that you're not going to make it especially far. Though the answer to, “how far?” could easily be, “as far as adrenaline will carry you.” This includes cases where the bullet fractures the bone, but doesn't completely shatter it. Though, those cases are going to be extremely unpleasant (for obvious reasons.)

Actual recovery times will vary wildly depending on far too many factors, and you can end up with chronic pain that never heals. Best case, you're looking at a couple weeks before the wound heals, most of the time you're looking at a few months, and lingering pain could last for over a year (if it ever does go away.)

While this is an unusual example, the warning about not aggravating a wound still applies, and trying to hobble around after getting shot is a fantastic way to inflict more harm on yourself. Figure it will take roughly ten weeks for the meat to properly heal up, and while you might be somewhat mobile before that time, it's probably a good idea not to overly stress it before it has fully recovered.

As for medical treatment, most of that is going to be packing it with gauze and (ideally) getting dosed out of your gourd on antibiotics. Gauze is easy, and the only real concern there is keeping you from leaking blood all over the place (while also providing some protection against future infection. The gauze needs to be changed, at least, daily, and the wound will need to be packed with gauze (so, not just wrapping it around the leg.) Getting the latter without a hospital is going to be a lot harder these days. The rise of antibiotic resistant bacteria strains means that these kinds of antibiotics are kept on a much shorter leash today. Unfortunately, it's also kinda critical for the whole, “not dying,” thing.

It turns out that the whole part about a bullet being hot enough to sterilize itself is a myth, so any bacteria on the bullet, and of course, any bacteria that gets into the wound itself after the fact, will have a very easy path to infection. Deep tissue wounds like this are a hugeinfection risk, and these are the kinds of infections that can easily turn lethal.

Of course, a doctor will be better able to assess whether the injury was actually a clean through'n'through, or if something was nicked. A bullet can easily graze an artery, leading to persistent bleeding that will kill the victim without surgical assistance, but won't be fast enough to look worrying. It's just when it doesn't stop after several days of bleeding, that they might realize this is very bad.

So, again, they could potentially be on their feet immediately after being shot. How long it would take them to recover is a lot harder to assess, and if they did insist in walking around, that could make things much worse.

-Starke

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[coffeebeanwriting]

How to Write & Create Creatures

Here’s a list of quick tips when it comes to creating your fantasy (or horror) creatures!

1) Warp and combine already existing creatures. Be inspired by real life and mythologies— put a magical twist on an already existing animal. The “Nemean Lion” is a lion in Greek mythology whose fur is impenetrable. Medusa is a woman with hair of snakes. 

2) Think outside the box. A creature doesn’t have to be inspired by only living things. Beauty and The Beast has talking tea cups and clocks. If your creature is organic, think beyond your typical animals: plants, insects, bacteria, diseases, amphibians, etc.

3) Use all five senses. You don’t have to use them all at once in a description, but as the author, you should be aware of these details!

Sight: What do they look like? What are their unique features? How big are they compared to a human?

Touch: Is their skin rough like leather or soft like silk? Do they bare hair, and is it matted or greasy?

Smell: what scents come with the creature? Does the fairy smell like freshly baked muffins? Does the zombie smell like rotten eggs?

Hearing: What sounds do they make? Not just verbally but as a whole (loud footsteps, crackling bones, labored breathing, twinkling of a wand, etc.)

Taste: If they’re a rotting creature, would the salty taste of decomposition fill the air? Or does the pretty little fairy bring back memories of childhood sweets to your protagonist.

“The creature let out a low snarl, the smell of rotten flesh hitting me long before it ever came into view. Its leather-like skin was matte compared its the thin strands of greasy hair that danced in the moonlight.”

4) What sustains the creature? Does it feed off of blood, flesh, or human emotions? Is there a type of meal it would prefer or does it eat anything?

5) What is your creature’s motivation? What necessities does it need to survive? Does it need shelter, food, and water? Vampires require blood. Outside of basic survival needs... is it in search of something more material? An item or a specific person?

6) What summons your creature? Does it appear when someone rubs a magical lamp? Does it wander aimlessly until a sound catches its attention? Does the smell of blood make the monster from within come out?

7) Leave room for your reader’s imagination. While you want to thoroughly paint the picture of your creature, don’t over-explain. Instead, leave some room for your audience to fill in the gaps with their imagination. This will truly make the reading experience more unique to the reader.

8) Give it weaknesses. A creature that has limitations and rules is a realistic one. Werewolves only turn on a full moon and are weak to silver. Holy water burns a demon’s skin, and vampires can’t go out in the daylight. Is there a string of words that could paralyze it? If it can’t be killed, what can hurt it? Can it be captured or trapped?

9) Make it hard to kill. If the creatures in your story are easily defeated, that means there is less tension and conflict. Does it have immense strength or skin that is impenetrable? Make your characters think and be clever in the face of an impossible situation.

10) Does it have a home? Where does it rest? Does it live in caves with its herd or does it sleep under the beds of children? Is it a wandering monster or one that lives in the trees of a magical forest? 

Instagram: coffeebeanwriting

[educatedsimps]

hello!!! I love your fics! Can I request a kenma x reader? where he does things he hates but still does it for the reader because the reader loves it? eg: getting wet in the rain etc? thank you if do!!

≪ back to fics masterlist

kozume kenma x reader

a/n: HI ANONNN i'm so glad you like our stuff! and ofc bae :) yes kenma would 100% do stuff he doesn’t like just for his partner because they love it.

cw: not exactly the usual type of fic with a storyline, it's kind of like headcanons? mostly? but written headcanons? i think ????? idk man. anyway it's all fluff and kenma being ridiculously in love with you :)

wc: 1.7k

fic below!

the following is based on true events: lyssa: *sends yves a screenshot of the request* look there's another kenma req! yves: he's a literal cat lyssa: yeah! wait but that's not the point of the- yves: hold on i have a tweet for this lyssa: LMAO ofc u do

okay, on to the real stuff!

"Kenmaaaaa, let's go (insert activity of choice)!"

"...do we have to?"

"Yes! It'll be fun, I promise!"

"...are you sure?"

"Yes, come on!"

"...you really wanna?"

"Yes! And I promise to spend a whole day gaming with you. We can play literally any game you want. Now, can we go? Pleaseeee?"

Sigh. "Alright."

This was the usual conversation between the two of you whenever you wanted to do something Kenma didn't necessarily enjoy. In other words, you’d bribe him with a full day of gaming together.

You knew he'd much rather stay in any day of the week instead of go out and engage in such uncomfortable, sweaty and outdoor (derogatory) activities. Anyone who even remotely knew him would know that. However, you genuinely thought that doing more physical activities together would be good for the both of you.

Hence your increasingly frequent pleas for him to join you in doing said activities.

The first time you asked him out on such a date, it was to go swimming together. He looked at you with a blank expression, but you could read his thoughts exactly. "Do you even like me? Do you even know me?" was what he seemed to be saying. With his eyes, at least.

To be honest, most of his reasons for not wanting to go swimming were pretty valid. Why would he wanna get soaked just to take another shower after that? Why would he go swimming when there are gonna be people around to witness him flap around in the water? And his hair is already bleached, so why would he want to ruin it further by going into a pool practically loaded with chlorine? Out of everything, chlorine had to be the bacteria killer? Why couldn't it have been something nicer, like chocolate or something?!

Fair enough, you thought. But by the time the two of you were out of the pool that day (you don't even remember if you just played in the water or if you actually swam laps together), the sun was literally shining down on him, yet his smile seemed brighter than the sun itself. You weren't sure exactly what about swimming had made him smile like that the first time, but since then, every time you suggested going swimming together, you'd remind him how much fun he had the last time and he'd be less opposed to the idea.

Even though he'd probably never admit it to you, he actually enjoyed going swimming with you that first time because of you. The way you laughed and the way you seemed so comfortable in the water honestly captivated him. Then he started to notice how the sun reflected off the water and onto your skin, casting a golden glow around you.

So damn pretty, he remembered thinking to himself.

Soon, you started going swimming at night - to not "die of UV rays", in his words - and the way the moonlight reflected off your skin was simply ethereal. He couldn't have used any other word to describe you in that state. You reminded him of a siren, and if real sirens were even half as beautiful as you, he’d understand why those pirates and sailors were so easily lured out to sea.

Even if you couldn't swim swim, you still looked so content in the water that slowly, he couldn't say no to going swimming with you anymore.

The next kind of activity you asked him to do together was to go to the beach. And of course, you were met with the usual resistance at first. The way his face lightened when you said "swimming" then pinched together when you said "at the beach" told you exactly what he was thinking.

Ew. Sand. Everywhere.

Honestly? Valid. Sand gets everywhere - and I mean everywhere. The sand gets scorching hot in the daytime so why would anyone wanna go there? To get sand up your ass? To burn your feet off?? Like, can't you just do that over the kitchen stove or something?

That was until you were spending the day together at the beach, building sandcastles and sunbathing and just hanging out by the water. You could never forget how relaxed he looked by the end of it.

Sure, there were tons of other people at the beach that day, but he completely forgot about that when he was with you. You just did that somehow - make him feel like it was just the two of you even in a crowded room.

"It's not that bad, right, Kenma?"

"Eh..."

It's "not that bad" only because of you but I'm not admitting that, is what he was thinking.

This process continued with several more activities - cycling, hiking, even going to the gym.

When you asked him to go cycling together, his face told you, "What makes you think I'd enjoy cycling when there isn't even water to help me cool off this time? And what if I lose balance and fall?"

When you asked him to go hiking together, his expression screamed, "There aren't even gonna be wheels this time, are you kidding me? My legs are gonna give out. You're gonna have to haul me back home by yourself and it's not gonna be my problem."

And when you asked to go to the gym together, he muttered, "Kuroo and Yamamoto are rubbing off on you."

Despite these complaints, Kenma always came home looking more refreshed than ever. Even though he still didn’t love those sports, he didn’t hate them either, thanks to you. But that wasn't the point.

To him, the point was just seeing you do what made you happy. And as much as he hated getting all sweaty and sore and tired, he absolutely loved watching you go about the activities you had planned. Sure, you were just as sweaty and sore and tired as he was, but he didn't care. He honestly just cared that you were happy, and he knew then that he would do anything just to make you smile like that for the rest of your lives.

As for non-physical activities, if you love doing things like going to the museum, painting, gardening, yoga or meditation, board games, photography, he'd definitely be less resistant even though he doesn't particularly love those activities, and of course he'd just enjoy spending that time with you. Honestly, he's just glad you didn't pick something physically draining this time.

One time, you dragged him away from his video game and out of his bedroom to go play in the rain together. When you told him you wanted to go out into the rain, he had half a mind to drag you back into the house and lock you in the bedroom with him. But he was also kinda curious as to what you could possibly find so exciting in the middle of a rainstorm, so he followed you outside with just his hoodie, sweatpants and house slippers.

As raindrops pelted against his skin and clothes, he looked up to see you standing in front of him with your arms held out to the side and your head tilted slightly upward.

It was cool and rainy night, and Kenma would typically be in the comfort of his bed or gaming chair, safely sheltered from the rain. Why the hell would you wanna go out in the rain when you have a perfectly good house to stay in? He thought earlier.

Now, he finally had an answer to that. Two, in fact.

One, it was beautiful. He's obviously seen rain before, but only from his window. He had never been in the rain like this before. He's been caught in the rain on the way home from school or practice, sure, but never deliberately in the rain.

Looking up, the night sky was splattered with stars, barely visible behind metallic grey storm clouds. Silvery droplets raced towards the ground and glistening specks of water started to collect on his lashes. Blinking them away, he could see you in front of him.

The second answer to his earlier question was simple. You.

Dressed in one of his old volleyball jerseys, home shorts and slippers, you still looked so goddamn beautiful to him. You were laughing wholeheartedly even as raindrops assaulted your skin from above. You were somehow glowing even with just the dim streetlights nearby. Turning towards him, you grabbed his hands and pulled him towards you, further out onto the empty street.

"Come on, babe, have some fun!" You yelled, making sure he could hear you through the downpour. He could feel the rainwater slowly soaking through the material of his hoodie and onto his skin. He watched as you started kicking your feet and jumping into puddles of water on the road, and soon, the two of you were in the middle of an all-out puddle war.

Sooner or later you'd both be out of breath, and you'd end up with your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist. As the two of you swayed slowly back and forth, everything seemed to be in slow motion. The falling of rain around you, the steady beating of your heart, your slow breaths and the quiet rumble of thunder nearby added to the overall ambience.

Thinking back, he wasn't sure if this experience was beautiful because of the rain or because of you. Probably the latter, he thought. Furthermore, if he had to describe this experience in one word, he'd say it was magical. Simply and absolutely magical, and all thanks to you.

That day, he also decided that going out into the rain with you was worth an extra shower, and eventually this became a habit for the two of you whenever it rained heavily at night. If you moved to an apartment, you'd stand on the balcony together and stay there while it rained. Sometimes you'd dance, sometimes you'd play around with the puddles of rainwater on the ground, and sometimes you'd just be in each other's arms talking about anything and everything.

Main point is, he’s in love with you and he would do anything for you - even if it means getting sweaty and tired. Though I don’t think he’d complain that much if you asked to play volleyball HAHAHA

© educatedsimps 2024. do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize any work from this blog on tumblr or any other platforms. if you do, the simps will hunt you down. likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi!

As always, thank you for being so cool about doing what you do- there are few other resources I've found that make me feel so welcomed in asking potentially silly or obvious questions about sex.

And on that subject, if you're taking sex ed questions at the moment- I've been told from a few different sources that you need to wash your hands before fingering someone/yourself (vaginally, but I would imagine the principle applies to most other places) or run the risk of syphilis. How thorough does one need to be with that, exactly? Obviously if you have gunk on your hands, you should definitely wash them off before sticking them in somebody (one recalls the anon you had who got fingered in a cave while their partner's hands still had cave dust on them), but if I'm making out with someone and decide I want to finger/get fingered, do I need to excuse myself to go wash my hands real quick? Where exactly is the line here and how anxious do I need to be about it?

hi anon,

it is... fascinating that syphilis was singled out as the cause for concern here, rather than general caution about washing your hands so as to minimize the amount of bacteria being introduced into your or a partner's vagina.

the odds of getting syphilis from being fingered aren't especially high. syphilis is usually spread between mucus membranes such as the anus, vagina, and mouth, and while I think it's important to know that it's not impossible for an infection to be transmitted from someone's hand, the risk is also not very high. "possible" is not the same as "probable."

there seems to be a bit of a fear here that getting fingered will somehow result automatically in syphilis if the hands aren't thoroughly washed beforehand, which isn't the case. syphilis can't come from nowhere, and can't spontaneously generate on the skin of someone who doesn't have syphilis no matter how unwashed their hands are.

while I do definitely recommend keeping hands clean before putting them inside of any orifices, whether they're your own or someone else's, I wouldn't say syphilis is the main reason why.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

HENLLOO ✨️💖

I have this idea for some time, and it's something I wanna write one day, BUT I think you'd really like this idea bc it's hurt/comfort and Santino at the beach! I'm curious about your thoughts or if it's inspiring yk 👀

Santino having a wound, that's not fully healed, or not healed at all and he wants to go to the sea to feel that salt kinda "bite" his wound, he wants to feel that pain because he thinks he deserves it or whatever other reason.

John tried to talk him out of it just because he knew it would hurt, but then again, sea water could help the wound heal faster. So, John insists for Santino's own safety that he goes with him. And eventually Santino agrees. Of course it hurt and burned, it's salt on the wound and Santino maybe thought it would be easier but it hurt a lot.

Santino wants to make himself suffer even more 😞

AAAAAAAA this one cut DEEP for me!! Your asks are so good lately (well, always, but especially this one). It's so dark but honestly this is a topic that I love to write about and I think it says a lot about Santino and what he's going through. What a brutal scenario, Santino is really suffering. But John is there to make sure he's safe and build up his self-esteem, as always.

Also, as a note: the ocean is not recommended as a source of salt water to put on a wound even if it does help sometimes, because there's bacteria in the ocean! So don't try this at home.

🖤💙Salt in the Wound💙🖤

TW: self harm via salt water, attempted self harm via breaking and punching things, blaming himself for abuse, concerns over potential suicidal behavior (there is none actually attempted), Dead Dove Do Not Eat

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“I am not leaving you alone like this!”

The bedroom was wrecked in every way that wouldn’t be permanent. Pillows and blankets thrown around the room, the desk overturned, even the curtains torn down. John had stepped in to stop Santino from tearing up his own poetry, but he’d let him flip the chair and splinter its legs against the floor. And why was all of this happening? Because Santino had been punished by a High Table emissary. The Adjudicator and company had approached them in the middle of the Continental lobby, informed Santino that he had broken some inscrutable rule John didn’t even know about, and then slashed him across the gut in front of the whole room of people.

After the wound was patched up he had just sort of…gone quiet. It was obvious he blamed himself. He brooded all the rest of the day, until finally John pressed him about what was wrong and he exploded.

“Fuck off, John! Get your hands off of me!” He had Santino’s arms pinned behind his back so he wouldn’t punch the walls. Reluctantly, he let go, and just as he’d expected, Santino lunged towards the wall. John was too fast and put himself in front of Santino’s fist before he could make contact. Santino stopped short, flushing even harder at the frustration of having to restrain himself in that state.

“Get out of my way.”

“No.”

Santino stared at him for a long moment, his jaw set hatefully. Then he turned to walk out.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Through clenched teeth, “The beach.”

Their home was only a short walk from the ocean, and in this mood, Santino could make it there in five minutes. Horrifying scenarios flashed through John’s mind, of Santino walking out into the ocean and never coming back. His heart did a sickening sort of drop. “Why?”

Santino whirled back to him with his chin in the air, the picture of passive aggression and mock innocence. “Salt water is good for healing wounds. You want me to take care of myself so badly? Fine. Maybe I want to go for a swim.”

“That will burn like hell.”

“GOOD. But it’s healthy, so you can’t stop me.”

John practically growled in frustration. He couldn’t argue with that. He just grabbed his coat. “I’m coming with you.”

“You’re not invited.”

“I don’t care. I’m going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

Santino’s scowl softened for a fraction of a second, replaced by something miserable and touched. But then he just growled back, grabbed his swim trunks, and marched out the door without another word.

They were silent on the walk to the beach, with the sun sinking down against the waves in reds and oranges as fiery as Santino’s expression. John began to hope that he’d cool down by the time they got there, but he had no such luck. Santino stripped down immediately and threw his clothes in John’s face. He would have laughed at the pettiness of it if he didn’t know how much pain was raging inside of Santino right now. So he just caught them and folded them neatly over his arm so they wouldn’t get covered with sand. Then he crossed his arms and watched from the edge of the water.

With his shirt off, and then his dressing thrown to the ground as well, John could see the red blooming across the slash on Santino’s side. The wound wasn’t deep at all, but it looked awful. It was long – an arc from the top of his ribcage on the right side to below the navel on the left. And it was still bleeding.

Santino took a first step into the water and already flinched. The evening wind was picking up and it was ice cold. “Maybe you should do this tomorrow,” John suggested. “Like noon? When it’s warmer?”

The very idea of sparing himself any pain seemed to just make Santino even more furious. He only turned back long enough to glare at John and then suddenly dashed forward, until the waves were up to his stomach.

Based on the sound he made, it couldn’t have felt good. It was a kind of yelping scream that he bit off with a long stream of swearing in Italian. John frowned hard. He knew what that felt like – he’d been in the ocean after a job before, by necessity, and it stung something awful. But all he could do was watch helplessly. At least Santino was standing still now, and seemed to be reconsidering. He even took a few steps back until the cut was mostly above the water line again.

But irritation with his own weakness seemed to give him a second wind. He plunged back in, up to his chest this time, and screamed again. This time, John couldn’t tell if it was pain or frustration or self-hatred, because it gave out into sobbing. He was crying so badly that John was worried he was going to double over into the waves. “That’s enough. I’m coming out.” He kicked off his shoes and trousers, set down their things, and waded into the frigid water.

He wasn’t sure if Santino heard him or not, because he didn’t move at all until John’s arms were around him.

“Come on, love. Let’s go back to shore, yeah?”

“No. I-I deserve this.” Santino didn’t hug him back. He just stood there shivering terribly.

“Why?”

“Because I fucked up! They had to punish me. And I’m so angry, John. I’m so angry, and there’s nothing I can do. I can’t even be angry at them. I just have to play nice because I’m powerless and it’s all my fault.”

“No you don’t. You’re allowed to hate them. You don’t have to hate yourself.” He realized they weren’t just talking about The Adjudicator, but about everyone who had hurt Santino. Especially those who he didn’t couldn’t bring himself to hate. His own father. The water swirling around their bodies was deathly cold and John felt himself starting to shake too, but he ignored it and held Santino as close as he could.

For a second, Santino cried harder against him, but it seemed to bring some kind of cathartic release. Finally, he went calm and hugged John back. He seemed drained. “Okay. This hurts too fucking much anyway. Cazzo, I didn’t expect it to be this bad.” His heart was still racing against John’s chest, probably from sheer pain.

“Yeah…I’m not surprised. Let’s go get the salt out, I brought stuff to take care of it so it doesn't hurt as much on the walk home.”

So Santino allowed himself to be led back to shore. John wrapped him in a towel and poured a fresh water bottle over the cut to rinse it. That stung too, and he was already back to whining about the pain, but John didn’t mind. As long as Santino didn’t want to make himself suffer. He kissed him hard. “You didn’t deserve that.”

He melted into the kiss and stayed curled up against his lover, trying to regain some body heat, but he couldn’t bring himself to reply.

“You didn’t, Santino. They did this to you because they’re on a power trip. Because the whole organization runs by making people feel trapped and small, and it pisses me off.”

His answer was slow and very quiet. “Honestly…I don’t want that to be true. If that’s true, then I have to do something about it.”

“Yeah.” John wove his fingers through Santino’s curls and studied his face. He was so precious, so fierce, so full of life. A world in which a person like Santino could be hurt over and over again until he wanted to hurt himself too wasn’t one that John could stand for. “We have to do something about it.”

[thedisablednaturalist]

If you are someone who hates bugs and kills them on sight (except for those that can actually cause considerable harm) please..just..take a second...think before you act. Does that bug need to die? Are you killing it just to feel better?

Yes, phobias are real. I have arachnophobia. And it's taken a long time for me to get to the point I'm at now where i can hold jumping spiders and be sort of near wolf spiders. I still struggle but to be in a field where you're outside a lot, you have to get comfortable with spiders sometimes crawling on you.

The first step is respect. You don't have to like or enjoy bugs. But you need to respect what their role is in the environment. To make it easier, think of animals you DO like and learn about their relationship with bugs. You really like birds? Well guess what a ton of birds eat. Even birds that don't directly eat bugs may eat things that do (ya know the whole food web thing). Bugs also may positively impact their environment through nutrient cycling, eating other, more destructive bugs, eating harmful molds, bacteria, or fungi, pollination, etc.

I used to be skeeved out by a lot of bugs, particularly bug larvae. Guess what I'm studying right now? Invertebrates are so interesting once you get past the initial discomfort.

Many of us believe invertebrates = gross/scary. This needs to stop. Invertebrates are going extinct so fast and because everyone hates them we don't have enough research to even know how many we are losing. Pesticides/herbicides have completely wiped out a significant portion of the invertebrate population, and that's along with other things like pollution, ocean acidification, invasive species, etc.

We are losing spiders. We are losing centipedes. We are losing tiny flies. We are losing worms and beetles and bees and wasps. We are losing butterflies and fireflies. Some invertebrate species only exist in one small pond or cave. Some have never actually been seen and some have only been seen once. And its affecting all of us. Fish are disappearing from streams because there's nothing to eat. Amphibians are disappearing because there's nothing to eat (and bc of chytrid fungus). Bats are disappearing because there's nothing to eat (and bc of white nose syndrome). Pangolins, axolotls, red pandas, armadillos, woodpeckers, monkeys, salamanders, these all have diets that are either partially or only fulfilled by bugs.

I go outside in the summer, and don't even have to use bug spray anymore. I remember getting chased by swarms of nats and mosquitos. Nights glittering with hundreds of fireflies. Now I only worry about mosquitos in the spring by the water. Even then I have maybe 5 bites at most, when before I used to be covered in bites from being outside. Before I was born, windshields used to be COVERED in bugs when you went down the highway.

Please, you don't have to like them, but please make an effort to change your initial reaction. They are earthlings just like us. They don't deserve to die because they aren't cute. We need more funding and research. They are getting wiped out and people think that's a fucking good thing. Stop using bug zappers. Try using bug repellent that doesn't have DEET in it (only use it if absolutely necessary), take the bug out in a cup and piece of paper, use methods other than pesticides to get pests out of your garden. Yes sometimes you need to kill a tick or get the termites or ants out of your house. Sometimes a venomous spider gets in your house and it's not safe to handle them. Sometimes they are killing your plants and you need to get rid of them. But a harmless millipede who's one defense is to literally curl into a little spiral and is completely harmless? Does it really have to die?

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

What does your skellies think of Ink sans? All skellies except Error.

Undertale Sans - He doesn't know man. The guy just showed up at his door one day, said that he forgot why he was there, and left. Sans got a bit concerned, but his instincts also screamed the guy is trouble and to stay far away from him.

Undertale Papyrus - He saw him and Error fight in the park one day. Being a good person, he tried to intervene to help. Ink opened a portal under his feet and he ended up stuck IN SPACE. For A MONTH. And when Ink showed up, he just looked at him and said he didn't know how it was possible he ended up so far from his universe??? It's rare Papyrus gets angry, but he got angry that day. Not that that weird Sans cared though. But at least it helped to calm him down.

Underswap Sans - They're... friends??? He guesses??? He doesn't know. The guy just showed up one day and acted like Blue was his best friend. Blue kinda accepted it and now that's a thing. Ink randomly shows up in his life and drags him into trouble. At least he's never bored when he's with him.

Underswap Papyrus - All he knows is that this random Sans keeps showing up to drag his brother in troubles and then he's never sure when Blue will come back home. Honey doesn't like him and would appreciate him staying far far away from his bones.

Underfell Sans - Nope. Nope, nope, nope. He doesn't know why, but just seeing Ink's face makes him angry. Also Red knows Error quite well and what he heard about him is enough for him to not want to meet Ink.

Underfell Papyrus - He remembers that little shit. He showed up in his Underground and the Royal Guards chased him for days before realizing he just evaporated in thin air. Asgore screamed at him and Undyne for that, saying they were dumb and useless. Edge just wants to grab him and kill him.

Horrortale Sans - He has a headache. He's already struggling to follow when people are talking, but Ink changes the subject every three seconds and Oak just can't follow him. His presence irritates him. He wants him out of his farm.

Horrortale Papyrus - Same as his brother. He likes peace and silence. None of them exist when Ink is around. LEAVE. He doesn't care if he can do rodeo on his cows, why are you even climbing on the cows?!

Horrorswap Sans - He called him Blue once, Nugget asked him to not do that. Ink did it again so Nugget blasted him.

Horrorswap Papyrus - Ink is overwhelming for poor Pumpkin who struggles to understand what the hell he wants with him. It usually ends with Pumpkin having a panic attack and Chief chasing him out of the farm with bones.

Horrorfell Sans - He's surprisingly ok with Ink hanging around. Mainly because he has that special skill that helps him to completely ignore whatever is happening around him. Ink is just a voice in the background. He lets him talk, not caring about what he's saying lol.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He still remembers that day Asgore humiliated him for not catching him, so now he's placing beartraps on the floor whenever he shows up. Just in case. Obviously, Asgore is dead, but that doesn't mean he's not going to finish his mission. Just for his ego.

Swapfell Sans - He invited him once in his manor for information. He left the room for two minutes. When he came back, Ink filled his baby coffee machine with paint. Since that day, Nox wants him so dead.

Swapfell Papyrus - He thought it would be funny to prank the guy. Until Ink got spooked and sent him in the antivoid and forgot about him completely. Rus stayed there for the day until he accidentally fell on Error, who tried to kill him, but also freed him. Rus is so mad and wants his revenge.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He doesn't need to know him to know Ink's place is in the trash where he belongs. He's screaming "feral beast full of bacteria" and doesn't want to get close to this.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - They're close friends. Ink is the only one who congratulates Coffee on his drawings and paintings and they grew closer thanks to art. Ok, maybe Ink is strange and won't stop staring at him without blinking for no reason, but Coffee likes him.

Outertale Sans & Papyrus - All they know is that the guy thinks their universe is a dumpster and keeps spawning random Sanses and Papyruses that they have to rescue because he keeps forgetting about them. Maybe it's best they both stay away from him.

Dancetale Sans & Papyrus - They already got in trouble because apparently Ink created their universe during a dance battle against Error and Error wants them dead only for this reason??? They prefer to stay far away from both of them.

Dancefell Sans - He woke up at 3 a.m. one day and Ink was just there. T-posing in front of his bed. Copper screamed in terror. Copper thinks Ink is his sleep demon or something.

Dancefell Papyrus - He doesn't like Ink but he for sure likes to record him because he's always getting in trouble and that makes views on TikTok. Free content is free content.

Farmtale Sans & Papyrus - Oak and Willow told him to be wary of him. Sam found him once stealing his apples and chased him around the town for three hours until he cornered him and forced him to give back the apples. Never touch Sam's apples. Ben prefers to not cross his road. He sounds like a lot of trouble and he just wants some peace.

Mafiatale Sans & Papyrus - They were asked to follow him once to get pieces of information about him. They never understand what is his logic or what he is doing. Even Creeper had a mental breakdown after he took them to the same restaurant five times in a row only to order a tomato. What is his problem???

Mafiafell Sans & Papyrus - Torpedo respects him so Fang respects him (????). Ink is the only being that was not impressed by Torpedo at their first meeting. Surely this must mean Ink is a being of incredible intelligence and a master spy. Fang thinks his brother is blind at this point but he can't really say it out loud if he wants to stay alive.

Ink - "who's Ink? :D"

Error - He's mad you forbid him to say what he thinks of Ink. He has literally a 40-page document of what he thinks of Ink. That's not fair.

Disbelief Papyrus - He had pity on him at first because he thought it was a Sans that lost his brother. But... Uh... Apparently not? He doesn't know. All that weird Sans do is show up randomly at his place, steal food from his fridge, and disappear. He feels like he got scammed.

Killer Sans - Obviously, they're regular enemies from the time he worked for Nightmare. Killer thinks it's hilarious the universe asked that guy to protect the Multiverse when he's obviously not able to remember what he did ten minutes ago.

Dustale Sans - Dune is as weird as Ink, so they're kinda cancelling each other. They can't communicate together. They tried, but it seems each other words can't reach the other. What is this sorcery?