#WHY SO MANY TESTS 😭
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Chat why are there so many January b-days in my family ;-;
(I’ve been busy non stop and It’s ib ia season im dying 😭😭😭)
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I can't stand finals anymore guys
#i understand the importance of school and academics and things like that but nooo#i served enough 😭😭😭#why so many tests tell me#celi talk
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Guys if I told you my transfem alphonse headcanons would you still love me 👉👈
#ive been thinking about this so much#tbh this isnt directed to my followers bc all you guys have seen is a spam reblog of fmab posts many of you dont know him#and like im going to talk about it anyway#but testing the waters ect ect#alphonse elric#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#why is the main tag spelt wrong 😭#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fma alphonse#fmab#fma brotherhood#trans fem headcanon#moss' madness
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everyone has a digital camera right now and i had one when i was younger and i can’t find it cause my parents like true eastern european parents keep everything and i wanna kms
#i want to test my old camera before i buy a new one#brother why we have so many old phones 😭#meli talks shit
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i cant figure the rest out but i think getting as far as i did with only a single python college course to my name is pretty good
#there are currently just two problems#1) he doesnt upgrade PER card killed. just per card-killing-event#like immolate kills 5 cards but he only upgrades 1 time. im not sure how to track how many cards are individually killed#2) he upgrades per card scored. i have absolutely no idea why that is happening. i dont know enough about this code 😭#the good news about 2 is that is is per card SCORED not per card PLAYED. i did test that#and he also doesnt upgrade if a joker is killed or if a consumable is used so that's good#wonder if it might be easier to change him to per joker killed... i just thought killing cards might be more fun#but either would make sense for what i wanted#i'll try that tomorrow if i feel like coming back to it#chat
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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Can you believe 911 Lone Star has TWO (2) episodes where some characters go through their worst day (s) while TK and Carlos exist in a sitcom?
#3x15 and 4x08 btw#they really said 'let Owen rehash his childhood trauma and also have TK bring home a lizard and test Carlos' love and patience'#'oh and marjan can be in the middle of nowhere trying to save someone's life in a super intense situation while TK and Carlos try to#convince their parents that 4 flower arches are 4 flower arches too many'#won't be surprised if I missed an episode which is in a similar vein#no because why is this so funny to me 😭#and y'know what? they deserve the lightheartedness#911 lone star#evie's random shit
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random oc doodles I have that no one asked for 😼
#im going to write a whole essay in tags dw abt me guys#anyways haha#my oc mau never beating these gojo allegations#maybe thats why I like gojo sm I see him as my silly son😭#I dont think ill care if this flops I just want u guys to see them I love my sillies so much#also I dont want to be strictly jjk artist so😼 watch me figure my own account out#kinda want to do trigun art too... or genshin.. I have had so many silly moments in coop#most fucked up thing is how little time I have#saw screenshots of new jjk episode AND I CANT WATCH IT (maybe saturday though)#literally did biology homework FOR THREE HOURS#OUR FIRST BIOLOGY LESSON IS TOMORROW!! WE HAVENT EVEN MET THE TEACHER YET#I think I have a test tomorrow in swedish 😨#also my roommate broke the lamp trying to help me change the trash bag (old one had broken somehow)#I vaccuumed the floor like 6 times#I still find glass#its like glitter#its on the floor its in her hair its in the corridor its in my slippers and I even found one in my foot#oc#own character#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#guys could u tell but I hate musk so sooooo much#mau and sol#I have a pan on my shelf#theres an amogus plushie in it#I miss artfight it was so much fun#(I was fighting for my life trying to revenge everyone)
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just rewatched barbie and wow this movie is ass 😭😭
#why are there so many men….#the only barbie movies used to be girls for an hour in the film and the ken popped up for a minute in between and a minute in the end#can’t believe people actually got upset this movie wasn’t nominated for the oscars like this is not standing the test of time 😭😭
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Pls tonight I just wanted to watch testing in the background while I worked on gifing 2005, but then I got completely blindsided by certain things which I am now working on :)
#HOW HAVE I WATCHED 3+ HRS UGH#i am so tired and i just listened to them talk about fuel for like 10 mins ah#this feels like some weird self inflicted torture bcs its not like i hate it but its also not the most exciting#testing is a bit too overstimulating ngl bcs they keep showing so many people and its hard to keep up!#i do not wish to ever gif anything live again it is a certain kind of pain 🫠#usually id just gif by screen recording on my phone but silly f1 app blocked it so i had to figure it out on pc#well anyways im happy to have recorded what i did even if it was a bit tortuous#catie.rambling.txt#it is 5 am...i didnt want to stay up this late UGH ive been up like what. 19 hrs?#*also silly thought#but they talked to logan sargeant and this other american guy and#why is it lowkey kinda comforting to me to hear american accents after only hearing brits for an extended period 😭
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Not me becoming an amateur stardew valley modder just through process of trying to make mods I want work together
#every time I get something working tho it’s quite a feeling#like wow I figured it out and didn’t break anything#shocking#so far I have learned a bit of map editing#and then the like coding? for portraits and sprites#mostly I’ve just been doing a lot of copy pasting and some deleting lol#feels like more than I wished to know tho 😩#I also decided I wanted to be bit of an artiste and added some like hair strands to a portrait of one character in sve#all because I liked this alt one that gave different hair and I wanted it with portrait overhauls I was using…#someone save me why do I do this to myself#if I ever make a sv mod I’m gone for good there is no saving me#I’m sim news I open game yesterday#and gave trio some new outfits while testing cc#then promptly closed game ajdbd#I think I’ll do some more gameplay this week idk#txt post#delete later#I’ve been lost in stardew land cause everything else feels like too much work and I think I’m lowkey in a long burnout phase#cause work kinda draining even if good😭😭#too many people interactions#it’s hard trying to keep that almost fake energy up again#masking again after starting to unmask it’s like oh I never realized how much of a pain this was#cause I was so used to it😭😭 but now I’m not and aaa#so yeah we trying but barely surviving it feels#me and my long tags strike again I see#oopsie
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im so embarrassed I told this teacher from my class that I will study her subject on my own when she texted to ask why wasn't i attending batches and
#now that I couldn't find any good faculty on youtube i was like fuck it ill just watch hers#and it's actually really fucking good#i feel so bad was i incredibly rude i mjst have sounded so ungrateful and bitchy omg#well they do have a test on 16th maybe ill give the test and then text her to say that i actually watched your lectures#and they helped a lot sorry for not attending live#i think i was just scared kf this subject. like fr it gives me the creeps#it's all incomprehensible theory and in inter too i just watched a marathon learned a compiler and scored exactly 40/100#(passing marks) and that must have been with the help of mcqs#like i just don't understand this like whaaaaat are you even talking about it all sounds the same to me#it still makes me uncomfortable because there's nothing concrete like i wish there were sums could solve and practice#but it's fine i have to do it because i have like 8 months left so why tf take chances#they had a strategy session organised on sunday and the ma'am was like from today to exam in nov#you should give one hour a day everyday to audit#and you need to revise the ENTIRE subject minimum 4 times#and then you'll be somewhat sure of getting like 50 marks😭😭#this very cool tax sir from my classes the only person i look up to he said that when he studied#he used to study 4 subjects daily because like if you just study 1 subject the first hour of studying it and the last hour of studying it#will be wildly different you'll retain much much much less#and like. ive always studied one subject a day my whole life but maybe he's right#plus that way i would HAVE to study many hours in a day because if i miss the time window to study a subject#i wouldn't be able to study it at all#so yeah i think im gonna do that from now#also i fucking realised that my stomach hurts because i have. um. loose motions actually#like wtf is wrong with my body STOP IT STOP BEING SICK#ive never had it this bad so I didn't realise that was what was happening 😭 then i realised that oh right that's how the rest of my famil#gets it they eat something and it immediately doesn't settle well#ridiculous i don't even know how to fix it google keeps saying brat diet but like wtf is applesauce??#and im so sick of eating bland food i ate khichdi like 5 times in the span of a week because i had tonsils and it was the only thing that#wouldn't hurt. whatever. is this tmi.#also should i make a studyblr lol im ranting herein so much detail ugh this degree has turned me into a nerd yuck
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good god not this adhd diagnosis costing $900-1400 after insurance 😭
#p#it comes out to 150-230 per hour which makes sense but holy FUCK#and people wonder why so many self diagnose 😭#expensive but. im excited:')) he thinks im a good candidate for testing so 🔥
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im getting ready to start the database setup 🫡
#this is like a drafting thing u do before actually making the tables so u dont get confused#the stuff in grey im not gonna worry about for now#but later on might need it#if i ever try to figure out the whole dress up situation#for now#i wanna just get a first usuable version of the site up (hopefully without spending money)#and then find ppl to test it#its gonna be very barebones at first but this like a project im just doing longterm#like the comic im doing#so no worries#also why i need to keep costs to zero as long as possible lol#but yea i have other stuff i wanna do outside just collecting#like if i could figure out how to have short vn moments with the different bfs that would be sick!#i wanna do so many romantic things 😭#tho this is just me spouting off things#lots of ideas but one person so we will see#web development
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I’m a descendant of the prophet (kind of) and all I have to show for it is my obsession with an anime blond guy …
#my mums grandma is a descendant of the prophet and like altho#technically I’m not counted as one it’s cool to know like I still have his genes and stuff lol even though I’m not like idk how you say it ?#pure blood ? LMAO THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN RIGHT ?#coping with the fact my life is trash with the understanding that the prophet suffered so my suffering makes me like him it’s in our dna or#something… anyways ! isn’t that so cool !#like my dad did a dna test ages ago I forgot what he got but he’s yemeni originally like so many generations ago#but the dna test said a lot of places I might be tripping but I think it said Egypt too ?#for my mum she didn’t do a dna test but since her grandma is related to the prophet then she’s from Saudi originally many generations ago#when people aren’t telling me I look like I come from nowhere in particular in the world or fifty shades of Anglo Saxon European white or#Lebanese or Afghan or whatever the case may be … I also recently got told I look like I’m from Saudi#bro it’s every nation except Iraq I’m quite literally full blooded Iraqi bro 😭 where is everyone getting white from#dora daily#I’m not that basic am I 💔#now if I had inherited my mums genes for being blonde and blue eyed then I’d be like ok yeah I can see why you think I’m white#BUT IM NOT BLONDE NOR DO I HAVE COLOURED EYES LOLLL my mums genes didn’t come in clutch 🙁 I have brown almost black hair and semi light-ish#brown eyes that’s it LOL#it’s ok Kaveh can help me revive the generation of blonde children#/J OMG SORRY AGAIN 😭 these jokes are actually hilarious I sincerely apologise tho
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Took a 40 min nap instead of letting my mum allow me to sleep the entire evening and I feel so good I've never felt more motivated to study this entire week
#😭 why has she been so nice recently like... she is like if too many classes is stressing you out skip the less important ones#and she lets me sleep after class because she knows how tired i get#why do i feel like shes going to kill me when i dont get through these entrance tests lol#og
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