#WHY IS IT RUSSIAN?

[a-gay-poptart]

I have found the best ally

Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.

Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Aspen?"

Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."

My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."

Random woman: "Excuse me?"

Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*

Me: *pissing myself laughing*

My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Aspen, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."

Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."

Edit: Ok, this has gotten alot of attention, but right now my other posts is what really needs attention. I have a few fundraisers for people trying to evacuate Palestine and Gaza, but also a diabetic who needs her insulin shot. Please please please, go to my page and at the very least repost those posts, have the day you deserve and free Palestine🇵🇸

[welcometothereturn]

My body is ready.

[morganbritton132]

Fic where Steve and Robin show up at Eddie’s door smelling like vomit and Starcourt fire like, “You know about drugs, right?” and then push their way into his house.

Except Eddie’s not there. He’s at the Fourth of July fair and then staying at the night at Jeff’s, so it’s just Wayne and two drugged up, beaten up kids.

He can’t even send these two away because they’re looking at him like “you look different” and “I always knew you wore a wig.”

“What are you two on?”

They look at each other and then Robin reaches across the ocean (like six inches), puts hand on top of Wayne’s and says, “So much.”

He tries corralling them into the truck to take to the hospital but apparently the hospital is a wreck. So the next day, Eddie comes home to find a literal dream come true in his bed. And also Robin.

He just walks back out of the room like, “What the hell?”

“Your friends are here.”

“What the hell?!?”

[rainpunk07]

hear me out, danny speaking russian (dc x dp hc)

so i was just watching a video about space, right? allegedly, turns out if you (an american) wanna board the international space station you must speak russian fluently since the only way to get there is by a russian shuttle and pilot (nasa apparently ended their own shuttle program way back when??) (don’t quote me on this)

so picture danny learning russian at a relatively young age for the sole hope of going to space and such, and it coming out every once in a while when he’s mumbling or something like that (it’s basically second nature to him)

so danny ends up at gotham for whatever reason (demon twins, reveal gone wrong, idc, they’re all cool) and he wants to start anew, so he pretends to only speak russian?? ig?? it’d make for some funny/interesting BatFam interactions i suppose

i don’t know where i was going with this but i want to read prompts of danny speaking russian

[wombywoo]

winter ❄️⛄

[jagalart]

sockeye salmon

And the final guy in the new gouache fish gang is here! I mean I painted him months ago, but then, as always, I forgot to post him :'D The in(famous) horny fish!

[goldetrash]

Saw @unicornpopcorn14's silly fic of Dazai's house getting put onto a cargo ship from this post

[blorbocedes]

russian grand prix 2019 drivers parade

jenson is asking who he should ask a question to first and chooses lando. lando's about to say max (as in ask max) and max goes 'norris' and pets lando's head unprompted and lando just repeats him "max...norris? 😀 why max norris?" and then max gives the most bullshit answer of all time

you can see lando's brain short-circuiting in real time as max pets them and then he's careful placing his own back and touching max's

[lighthouse-guardian]

personally i don't vibe with the english they/them because when referring to a known person it feels kind of intentionally ambiguous. which is not my relationship with gender. i want uncaring ambiguity. irrelevance. i want language to be completely and utterly uninterested in my gender. like in estonian where grammatical gender just does not exist. yeah this is a great idea everyone go learn estonian right now, starting today i will not be accepting any pronouns except tema/teda

[clockworkreapers]

Amelia O'Brien has been targeted. Jeremy Pascal has been targeted. Jack Townsend has been targeted. Rosa Vasquez has been-

[leggy-martian]

He has brought shame upon his pedigree. He tried to eat my cake slice right off the table this morning.

[hamstersnamedmarinette]

Hello everyone here's a comic that was spontaneous and definitely not planned in advance for @is-nino-actually-luka to avoid having to draw anybody!!! Also @is-nino-actually-luka had nothing to do with this comic what are you talking about!!!!!!!

[moon-n-night]

The russian moomins have some weird design . When I first saw duck Snufkin he looks okay then I saw Moomin and goddamn he looked unpleasant, the side view is okay looks fine then they front view good lord it looks like a jump scare.

[b1dl0]

[cosmicwhoreo]

Captain Walrus Cookie

AYE! Make way for the guard dog of Choco Mud Town, Captain Walrus Cookie! He kept the peace in the town for 2 decades, chasing off dangerous characters for the often neglected edge of the republic with his motley crew for no more than a few free drinks at the pub. Even so, he rarely ever got physically violent with troublemakers. More relied on careful wording and dominating size to intimidate those causing problems. Always believing words carry more weight than a punch.

[racke7]

Ectoplasm and Jason Todd

Danny is wandering around Gotham (visiting, chasing a ghost, running from GIW, attending college, etc) and stumbles across Jason.

Jason who is flaring his ecto-signature like a madman (is he trying to get into trouble?).

Danny drags the guy into a nearby alley to give the guy some kind of crash-course on how not to do that.

Jason isn't sure why this guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley, but if it's a fight he wants, Jason would be able to fight more freely in an alley, so he doesn't struggle. (Does he know that Jason is Red Hood? Does he think that Jason is a random civilian? Is it just him, or does this guy have really cold hands?)

Jason isn't sure why this guy is now trying to... ask him to meditate? The fuck is going on? But if it's not a fight, then... maybe it's fine to just listen to the weirdo? Taking a few deep breaths isn't going to hurt him.

Danny is very proud of himself for guiding the ecto-flaring guy through how to not flare his ecto-signature. He's such a good teacher.

And then Jason collapses.

Turns out, Jason has been using his anger to create a feedback-loop that artificially raises his ectoplasm-levels.

Ghosts need ectoplasm to live, but they'll also produce ectoplasm when feeling strong emotions. For most ghosts, this a bit like saying "everyone needs a good cry every now and then". For Jason, he's been basically aiming a gun at his own face for the adrenaline-rush. Constantly.

So, Danny is now holding onto a barely-conscious person who desperately needs more ectoplasm. As in, this is a medical emergency, and every second probably counts.

Danny, being that he wasn't planning on needing to carry around some kind of ectoplasm-container at all times (who the fuck does that? His parents, that's who), is now desperately trying to problem-solve this.

Danny realizes that, actually, even in his human form? Danny has a lot of ectoplasm in his body. Enough that he could probably save this guy by... feeding him his blood.

Cue intimately sexy reverse-vampire scene.

And oh boy, if Danny's blood doesn't taste fantastic to Jason's ecto-starved self.