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#WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME GRR GRR
hoshiyoshis · 2 years
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골드니스님,주문하신 커피 나왔습니다🤓☕️
(Goldenness, here's the coffee you ordered.🤓☕️)
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doctorsiren · 4 months
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keiji mogami
(w/o effects + sketch under the cut)
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demigod-of-the-agni · 10 months
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A little special something for something even more special. Hint: it's about love and fears and birthdays and new beginnings
(@/marvel hire me <3)
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🦈2
#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be#more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own#but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o#what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed#yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd#i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me#i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that#so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is#i will always love him simply bc he is who he is#he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me#and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i#but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful#person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things#wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything#so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h#but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is#there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have#to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much#.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered#and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms
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miaoqing · 5 months
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we should have more pronouns in english. not necessarily neopronouns but like can we please at least invent new ones for objective and possessive cases
she (subj) stepped closer to HER (obj) and took HER (possessive) hand.
why are they the same?!?!?!! imagine how much easier it would be to write lesbians
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blackvahana · 5 months
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ohhhhh Sleep is definitely one of these trees isn't it.... its absolutely a waking (as in IT is waking up in me) aspect
#i. have. ugh. ive been weiiiirrrdddllly side-eying Hypnos since I discovered he existed (not getting into why. he reminds me of hermes.#he reminds me of lull. thats all im saying) but the point is because Divinity Of Sleep hits home in ways i havent been comfortable explorin#in myself so i was. looking outside me. i dont need outside stuff. godddddddd ok#ramblings //#creation: the forest //#aspect: sleep //#fuckkkkkk ive been having issues w sleep for so long now - and i only really recently started believing im not fucking insane and that#astral stuff does actually happen - that i completely forgot in the beginning of working w spirits post-twins i fucking#was helping people getting to sleep and Hermes fucking called me something to do with sleep and my energy was - goddamn it#i literally. naturally expand into comfortable bedding. my bedroom is like a shrine space to me not because of how its used by others#(though spirits were treating it like that BECAUSE of this aspect) but because my energy was inhabiting it like an extension of me.#i was the calm. i was the relaxing into sleep. i was sleep itself. i was that which lulled people into sleep and dreaming. oh my god of#COURSE this realisation/remembering happens after i craft a crystal for my twinflame that filters out nightmares and whatnot#because. that thing. isnt a spell jar put together with ingredients and wishes. i manufactured the goddamn journey into sleep#it rewrites the falling into sleep itself manually (or. i manually programmed it. left it to autonomously repeat that action)#it was a complete ''i know how falling asleep and dreaming work this is what causes nightmares this is what causes dreams'' and#grr grr grr ok
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cowboypossume · 6 months
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i hate my brain i hate my need for things to be Perfect i hate how ive been feeling i hate it i hate
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13eyond13 · 1 year
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.
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jrueships · 1 year
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that's right babygirl. never upset daddy.
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leatherbookmark · 9 months
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idk maybe it makes me a child or Someone With Shit Media Literacy, but i feel like when people discuss fictional events that were good or bad writing, they often look to general fiction tropes rather than what makes sense for the individual story? like, oh, well, this is a [genre] story, and in these, it's either X or Y, so it's going to be either X or Y. or: this character technically could count as a [character archetype], so obviously they only have one very predictable ending. what wonderful, emotionally moving writing!
and like. are we writing stories, or producing products that check off all the most common boxes on the Successful [Genre] Story list? this is not to say that you can never kill off your mentors/father figures, or that your protagonist should never fail miserably in this or that point of the story -- sometimes it really is the most fitting and sensible solution! sometimes leaving a character alive would undermine or muddle up the message, if there is one, or it would simply make it more difficult for the writer. and it's fine. but when your reason for this or that writing choice is not "because it makes the most sense" but rather "because that's what happens in other stories", it's, uh, not good writing at all. it's barely any writing, really!
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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Forever curious about the extent of Tuvok’s powers. In ‘Meld’ he tries to communicate telepathically with Kes but she says he can’t compel her because they neutralized his telepathic abilities. If they hadn’t done so, would he have been able to control her point blank or would he just have very loudly gone “Ooohhh you wanna drop the forcefield so bad its craaaazy” on loop in her mind until she did it?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#me when im around only one othet person: if there is a single lull in conversation i will die so i just have to ramble and ramble until its#over. me around only 2 other ppl: carring the conversation is no longer my job. i will not speak unless spoken to#thems the rules arbitrarily established by my brain#lol we got back from doing field work around 4 and my boss and lab mate set up in the living room area while i went to my room with no#intension of leaving. i went to the kitchen and got an orange but that's it. i ate cereal in my room like a gremlin bc the anxiety of#going to the kitchen is too much. am i quite dehydrated#yes i am. am i gonna do anything abt it? no im not. i will eek by on v little until i can be alone again#ugh. my lab mate already knows too much. he better not call me out#ugh. stupid. my brain is so foggy but im making a presentation for a lecture im giving. its v self indulgent#and im worries my boss is gonna make me change it :-( let me have my eccentricities grr#lmao yesterday i listened to radiohead no surprises like 20 times and today im making a burnout playlist. good times good times#it was so fucking cold this morning. I mean not that cold it was 36f but thats pretty cold to b out sampling#ugh. 2 more days and then ill be tripping and falling into another week#why tf am i allergic to more desert plants than Midwestern plants? fucking sage and tarbush fuck off. u make me sneeze#unrelated#my boss: i will take the room with an ajourning bathroom and we will designate this the girls room#ok this means that i then have to walk thru her room to use the bathroom#which means my lab mate has his own bathroom and my boss has her own bathroom and i has to suffer bc im too anxious
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twin-tailss · 3 months
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Girliepop you could do so much better (don’t do better please)
Based on the song Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage
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kethabali · 5 months
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i continue to be surprised how our body, minds, and universe align perfectly sometimes and we get just what we needed even if we don't realize we needed it
#someone asked me for money and i didnt have cash and they asked if they can have my food so i just took them to the store and bought them#something to eat and talked a bit which was very needed bc i been in a downer the last 2 days#freezing up from my workload of house work and school work#so i just not been doing either of it really#only the basics of eating and cleaning myself (somewhat) but i went out today to get a charger for my weed pen or to buy another pen#and thats when i saw her so that was good#first iw as like maybe god is real or something cuz how that keep aligning like that but then i realized i made the choice to talk to her#and buy her food.. it was literally me who made it happen not gOd#so yea i still am not re believing in god at least not the institutional organized religion god#cuz that guy is pure evil he is the real devil im telling you#but i do believe our souls know what we need and try to make it happen regardless of our circumstances#anyways.. gonna watch a really gorey movie now instead of reading for school#i do want to read but at the same time i do not want to read#i want to read not today but i Have to read today and tomorrow bc its due on tuesday#and i wanna go to a protest tomorrow so mainly i have today and half of tomorrow and a bit of tuesday#which is not enough for my adhd ass to do this how i want so it will probably be rushed#unless i take somehthing else out of the schedule but i really wanna go to the protest GRR i hate capitalism#just let me do things how i wanna do it im pissed off again#why i gotta do things on other peoples schedule all the goddamn time this is my least favorite thing about capitalism#never being able to do things when i wanna do them cuz there are consequences for if i ignore the other things#i just sometimes wanna be like fuck it let me just take the consequence and do what i want but that never went well in high school#i guess i can read 2 pages or something#or die. just kidding.. haha.. im trying not to answer die or death anytime i am inconvenienced#🧃
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mythvoiced · 9 months
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“on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about nachos right now?” julian
@astremourante | more random dialogue prompts | ♥
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Julian's features pull together.
Sometimes it's almost endearing, how the attempt to not react too outwardly leads to a much stronger underlining of the feeling one is trying to hide, than allowing the grimace free reign out right could have possibly achieved.
Or, in other words, Jules' attempt to not frown has made his lips so very thin, they're almost gone entirely.
They're having an almost... embarrassingly... professional reaction to the question at hand. For a brief moment, Julian 'Jules' Clifford recalls being GP Dr Clifford and goodness gracious nachos aren't exactly the healthiest thing that can be offered here.
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But... Dr Clifford isn't a GP raised under the watchful eye of people trying to spread dietary superiority while completely sucking the joy out of the very idea of consuming food for recreational purposes, social purposes, or even to just tickle taste buds in a pleasant way.
Julian's lips portray a soundless 'huh'.
The 'one' on the scale would remind him nachos are commonly prepared as and considered fast food.
The 'nine' on the scale would suggests they're very tasty.
The 'ten' on the scale has stars dusting her cheekbones, sparkling bright eyes, and enough scars Julian would like to dedicate each to a line among the many making out their handprints.
"I will base my answer entirely on whether you'll allow me to treat you," he settles on in the end, and their lips are relaxed into a soft crescent moon.
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