#grr grr grr ok
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ohhhhh Sleep is definitely one of these trees isn't it.... its absolutely a waking (as in IT is waking up in me) aspect
#i. have. ugh. ive been weiiiirrrdddllly side-eying Hypnos since I discovered he existed (not getting into why. he reminds me of hermes.#he reminds me of lull. thats all im saying) but the point is because Divinity Of Sleep hits home in ways i havent been comfortable explorin#in myself so i was. looking outside me. i dont need outside stuff. godddddddd ok#ramblings //#creation: the forest //#aspect: sleep //#fuckkkkkk ive been having issues w sleep for so long now - and i only really recently started believing im not fucking insane and that#astral stuff does actually happen - that i completely forgot in the beginning of working w spirits post-twins i fucking#was helping people getting to sleep and Hermes fucking called me something to do with sleep and my energy was - goddamn it#i literally. naturally expand into comfortable bedding. my bedroom is like a shrine space to me not because of how its used by others#(though spirits were treating it like that BECAUSE of this aspect) but because my energy was inhabiting it like an extension of me.#i was the calm. i was the relaxing into sleep. i was sleep itself. i was that which lulled people into sleep and dreaming. oh my god of#COURSE this realisation/remembering happens after i craft a crystal for my twinflame that filters out nightmares and whatnot#because. that thing. isnt a spell jar put together with ingredients and wishes. i manufactured the goddamn journey into sleep#it rewrites the falling into sleep itself manually (or. i manually programmed it. left it to autonomously repeat that action)#it was a complete ''i know how falling asleep and dreaming work this is what causes nightmares this is what causes dreams'' and#grr grr grr ok
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i enjoy
#i love the trilogy so much ok#ace attorney#aa#pwaa#phoenix wright ace attorney#ace attorney shitpost#half-assed sketches there wow!! and i left them be!!!#CRAP I CANT POST THE OG PICS GRR dm me if yall want the og pics aaaaaa#im sorryf
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i think it's funny how floofy n beffica are leading that Evil Grumpuses poll cause to me they're two completely different levels of "Shitty Person" lol
they're like this to me
#giant banner under this saying: Beffica is one of my favorite characters ok Ok. she sucks a bit as a person but i love her#with Floofty they're like ''Grr i hate you so much ur sooo fuckin dumb never speak to me again but actually please do talk to me but fuck u#with Beffica she's like ''Heyy bestie let's ruin this person's life for fun okayyy. I know this is bad but i've already ruined my own life-#and i dont really have much else to do sooooo. lol :0P!!''#very shallow reads of them but this you've played the game. you get the idea. these are tumblr tags#bug game
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This is how this should have actually gone - realistic sibling convo post what happened.
Also: "I'll let you hit me back."
#sibling rivalry#don't tell mom#siblings#sibling shenanigans#sibling dynamics#house of the dragon#Aemond Targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#house targaryen#game of thrones#GoT#george rr martin#grrm#grr martin#hbo#hbo house of the dragon#fantasy books#fantasy tv#fantasy shows#ok but this is funny#it's funny because it's true
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hi! so, I wanna say ty to @/augustinetwo for having a certain fic bookmarked that I got interested in (it’s called Windy Top, written by JasMe_Star and it’s a cold front au, fun read, go check it out!!)
in one of the chapters, the top had a link to a google docs for said AU, curiosity had me and I checked it out, and the entire doc was full of multiple different AUs for cold front!?!? all of them were so cool awaaaaa I loved them all but theres this particular one man… it stuck with me for the entire day to where I couldn’t help myself but doodled them hehe!!
so uh, it’s not rlly windy top related then lmaoo
this AU is labelled as Hot Back, and features an all smiles sunshine augustine and manipulative jackass winnie !!! The AU is made by these two people, Zane and Jas !! (whom I cannot tag atm because I do not have any…of their socials… also because I don't know them hwhaah)
(of course my dumbass would like them , I would never resist a more evil version of any one of these guys anytime, or yknow, cutie patootie auggie :33)
This link is the Google doc for more info abt these guys + the different aus others have made!!
#cold front#cold front au#augustine orlov#winnie bosko#saint and asshole respectively#is that how you use the word#jeez leave it to me to yap abt whatever i did befote this i coukd NEVER not give context#ok gotta send this before i change my mind grr
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CRINGETOBAARRR
day 24 :3
#cringetober#milez art#lalaloopsy#furry grrs a lot#lalaloopsy is niche in My brain OK#i also missed drawing furry :( shes soooou me
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talking to a man about asoiaf is like talking to an animal literally asoiaf is for the girlies and girlies only, they don’t understand it like we do
#ok we get it you’re a jon boring snow fan#game of thrones#house of the dragon#a song of ice and fire#danaerys targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#george rr martin#grr martin#grrm
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The paranatural brain rot is real
it’s all I can think about fr
if you know any of these albums I love u fr
#paranatural#pnat#art#UhhhhhAAAAAAAAAA#I GRR can’t gaaaaaah the URGES#NEED GRRR DRAW PARANATURAL#I’m not ok#Music#:3
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Red Bubble /neg
#design by mortis ghost btw#the fucking white edge grr#also im surprised how green this is. its like zone 3 green esp w the saturatedness#i thought itd be a bit desaturated but its ok i like it#what i dont like is the white edges grrrrr red bubble#etc
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Eve Best, Steve Toussaint and GRR Martin at the House of the Dragon FYC Special Screening in Los Angeles.
(via Steve Toussaint’s instagram)
#ok but i wasn't ready for this level of cuteness#thank god for steve#the way he holds her#please their friendship is precious#eve best#steve toussaint#grr martin#rhaenys velaryon#rhaenys targaryen#princess rhaenys targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#corlys velaryon
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the cinnamon roll
#mah art#i did the draw#ralsei#deltarune#no hat ralsei#deltarune chapter 2#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#grr him#i like ralsei if its not obvious#this has nothing to do with the other reblog about ralsei ok my frend asked me to draw this (kinda)
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IVE NEVER SEEN THIS IMAGE WHOEVER DECIDED TO GATEKEEP IT FROM ME I HOPE ULL NEVER FIND UR SOULMATE ON A TRAIN N OFFER U SWEETS anywayss omg silly original cast i love u
#scorbus#i found this on twitter while researching about the whole forehead kiss#funfact There ARE receipts from people whove seen it#Just not recorded grr#but thats ok i can sleep well knowing scorbus head kis
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chopper get behind me
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my earbuds have started randomly pausing/restarting/skipping my music and it might be the last straw
#mas speaks#if i have to hear the google assistant - which i have disabled on every possible level -#tell me the time ONE MORE TIME.#i will actually do something that gets me on the news#grr. grr. angy#ok typing that last tag made me less angry i'll give it that
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🦈2
#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be#more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own#but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o#what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed#yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd#i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me#i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that#so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is#i will always love him simply bc he is who he is#he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me#and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i#but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful#person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things#wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything#so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h#but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is#there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have#to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much#.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered#and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms
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