#but i stil feel so heartbroken and disrespected because if something isnt exactly how he wants it then he freaks out
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i hate my brain i hate my need for things to be Perfect i hate how ive been feeling i hate it i hate
#like i feel so genuiley disrepeected with my friend rn and just gfd4347586yfr6tfcvgyughvb#one specifically#and it ties into the allo/aro experience of the world of 'friendship is lesser than romance'#okay but WHY#and no one EVER gives me a good explanation#and the one person i thought who might be able to basically said 'sorry its just how i feel'#and i have a thing tmrw with him and hard and fast i was like “starts at 10” TWO DAYS AGO#today he was like “i'll show up at some point” / can you ballpark it / “no :3”#vent tw#but he said give him an hour or two#7 hours later 'hey any update on when you'll be there“ / ”oh RIGHT! well sense i dont have to be there early im not going to“#bark growl grr bark#i just#he keeps doing things like to me all. the time.#and im so tired of it#i know im not her gf and i know we have radically different opinions#but i stil feel so heartbroken and disrespected because if something isnt exactly how he wants it then he freaks out#and i get she has trauma but at what point does that become like a cushion for not great feelings and interactions#thoughts
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