#WHATEVER!!!! lets call it a tumblr social experiment

[noodleharp]

gotta lower the water bill somehow... 🤭

[valeriehalla]

I don’t know what to do about the internet. It’s getting worse, and getting worse faster than I think any of us ever could have imagined even just six years ago. Tumblr shot itself in the heart at the behest of Apple, at the behest of whichever nameless evangelical finance perverts are in charge of credit card policy, whereupon people like me (artists and people who like art) fled in droves to Twitter, the present state of which I don’t have it in me to be funny about.

Even after that one-two punch, Twitter and Tumblr are still the only (major) social media platforms I can stand to use. I mean, they’re the last ones left where you can, for example, see posts that your friends have made. I might have said that that seemed like the whole point of social media; every digital elsewhere has now collectively agreed that it is, in fact, social media’s greatest flaw. Your friends like to hang out and post weird jokes and titty drawings — they don’t know the first thing about your favorite marketing trends, let alone your unslakable thirst for 30-second phone videos. We have to move on: I’ll die if I think about it.

Uh — I wanna let you in a little. Here’s where I’m at, okay? I’m working on this project. I like it a lot: it’s a writing thing and an art thing and a music thing all at the same time. I’m still struggling with art burnout, but every day I get to sit down and write or compose for this thing is an unending delight, so on the balance it’s been great to work on. It’s taken me a while to get here, though — I’ve blown past all my estimates about when it’d be done. Still, it won’t be much longer.

In the mean time, I keep having these compulsive worries. I feel that I should be posting, but the nature of a long-form project like this is that I don’t have anything to post. I tweet complete nothings now and then, as if to announce my presence, like a lighthouse pulsing in the distance. And every week the websites get worse. They’re bleeding out, and it feels like some of my blood’s in there, maybe. Like, maybe you’d call me naïve, but it wasn’t that long ago that I really, really liked all this online stuff. I never had the hustle culture mindset about it: by good luck alone I managed to make a living posting the stuff I wanted to post on the places I wanted to post it.

The places I liked to post don’t exist anymore. My experience of using the internet feels hostile, alien. The ground beneath all our feet feels eggshell-thin.

But I have to use the internet: it’s where my stuff goes. It’s where all of you are. Here is where art and artists and art-likers live.

The things I love live here, in precarity, as the saw blades and lava traps of our digital dungeon grow every day more numerous.

Anyway, what I’m saying is that the web sucks now, but as long as we’re here — and we will be here — I want to try loving it again anyway. I want to untangle myself from all this disappointment and expectation and try simply “vibing” again. I wanna use cohost more: I’ll even crosspost stuff to Tumblr like I keep saying I should. I’m making a cool thing and I should show it off! I should relearn how to draw a little doodle and post it without feeling like it’s a suboptimal use of my time or whatever!! I want to believe in what joy may find us, though our world be a dumpster.

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.

Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!

As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!

Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.

Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!

Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:

If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!

And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):

If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!

Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:

I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.

I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:

Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:

This includes the way I came out on tumblr:

And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:

Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.

I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.

So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee

[justsomeectoplasm]

Hhhuugh so the reddit incident came and went but I know there's going to be a handful of twitter users that don't know jackshit about tumblr and are migrating here. Honestly it's valid that you all jumped ship because there's only going to be two outcomes to this:

-Muskratatouille is going to realise he fucked up and remove the rate limit.

- He refuses to admit his mistake and kills twitter.

So welcome! I hope you like my blog. Here's a revamp of some things you need to know before interacting with me and some general notes you need to know:

Massive porn bot problem here that can actually harass you and other users by sending porn through dm's and asks. Also shares malicious links to sites which is a big no-no. Therefore, PUT A DAMN PFP AND CUSTOMIZE YOUR BLOG, AND REBLOG POSTS. That's the only way to let people know that you're not a bot and that you're 100% a living breathing human. Lurking only works through reblogging without adding tags. (Side note: irl Hot lady pfps are not that great. Bots use them all the time. Anime hot lady is fine.)

Likes do jackshit. Tumblr is more of a blogging website than a social media platform. The way it circulates and brings attention to posts is by a sharing system called reblogging. If you really want to support artists, writers, game devs or just wanting your friends to see some funny posts, reblog it. (Reblogging artists work is not the same as reposting on this site. It helps us.)

Tags are your friends in this site. You can use them to navigate through content of your favorite subjects or you can add your thoughts to them. They can also help sort out your own original posts on your blog. (for example I use 'I ramble' on posts that have nothing to do with my fandoms.)

If you censor a word I will personally break your computer. You can say whatever the hell you want on this website and you won't get in trouble (unless it's hate speech, which you can report.)

Pt 2 of the above point: The reason why I'm so adamant on this point is because tumblr has a filter system. Users use this system to filter out content and tags that they don't want to see. This helps a lot for people with triggers and over all curating your online experience. By censoring words, you are bypassing these filters and doing more harm then good. Don't censor your words. If you want to use this feature go to settings and click on "content you see".

Pt 3. With that said, please please tag your posts if they have triggers or upsetting material. Whether you do dark content or not, it is important to tag your posts if they have a well known trigger.

There is no algorithm. You create it using tags. Your post going viral is a 50/50 gamble and you better hope it's a post that's actually great.

You can block anonymous askers since you need to use an account to send asks. Have fun.

Blocking users is much more effective. You can't see or interact with their posts and vice versa. Go wild.

[sysboxes]

Hi, I saw you make a userbox on C-DID and I wanted to ask if you maybe have a good resource or something that explains what it is? cause I have DID but ive never heard it with the C attached... no worries if not. thank you!!

C-DID stands for Complex DID. Complex DID and Polyfragmented DID are the same thing, though some people may say that there are some differences.

(I’ll just refer to it as polyfrag for the rest of this for simplicity)

Polyfragmented DID is considered a more “complex” version of DID. The complexity comes from:

splitting patterns ~ splitting several alters/fragments at once, splitting a lot over a short period of time, and/or splitting more frequently or easily

fragments ~ not all DID systems have fragments whereas polyfrag DID systems typically have at least some, if not a lot. Often times polyfrag can have subsystems made up of fragments or they’ll have at least one group of alters who are fragments holding similar trauma or the same traumatic experience split up between fragments (example: one fragment holds the emotions or the fear, one holds the sensations, one holds the memories, etc. or they each hold bits of memory. Or whatever else, it varies)

System Structure ~ briefly mentioned above, but with polyfrag it’s primarily about the way the system is structured or the way the system functions. Meaning polyfrag have subsystems (an alter has their own system OR there is a group of alters who exist together or function as one collective), a system or group of alters separated from the “main” group of alters, etc

The person typically starts being traumatized and forced to dissociate in infancy or sometimes as a toddler (whereas with DID, you can start developing DID later on). Though this is not a requirement and not always the case.

With polyfrag DID, they’re usually forced to dissociate throughout childhood, sometimes even throughout being a teen and sometimes during adulthood or at least early adulthood

polyfrag systems can have high alter count, but this is not a requirement. And it’s typically that they have lots of fragments, not fully-formed/fleshed out alters. 

polyfrag systems do not have to switch frequently, though some do switch frequently or have a larger group of alters who help take care of daily things

Because Complex DID and Polyfrag DID are not actually medical terms, it’s hard to find reliable information on them. They are more just community terms for people to describe their unique experiences. Basically it’s a way to differentiate themselves from typical DID systems and a way to describe their more complex structure. Some therapists or medical professionals may describe someone’s DID as being complex or polyfragmented, but again, it’s not actually a medical term it’s more just a descriptor.

Every system is going to be different. Everyone uses these terms to mean something a little different. But the stuff I listed is generally what people use it to mean. 

Here’s some links below (again, these aren’t medical terms so there aren’t really medical papers or anything on it and it’s mostly just people in the community describing their experiences or what they consider polyfragmentation)

Someone on tumblr listing what a polyfrag system usually means

Someone on tumblr describing difference between DID and C-DID

Someone on tumblr explaining what fragments are

Someone on tumblr explaining what polyfrag is and quoting research

Someone on tumblr listing what C-DID could entail

A PDF of a medical paper on complex MPD (this paper is from the 1980s I think, when DID was still called MPD)

A polyfrag DID systems vent on Reddit about what being polyfrag is for them (I wasn’t really sure about whether to include this or not bc it is a vent but it’s also a good explaination of what polyfrag DID actually is versus what people portray it as on social media..)

(if any of this is wrong plz let me know we’re not perfect lol and I didn’t read through all of these links)

[magicandmundane]

So @twinsunstars and I were talking about this yesterday, and our girl Omega would do numbers on the galaxy’s social media platforms, so here’s a few headcanons on how that scenario would play out:

She has the equivalent of a tumblr blog making daily shitposts roasting the Empire into oblivion

She has a twitter account where she blasts them and advertises for the Rebellion with well crafted arguments

Said twitter account also frequently posts memes to further roast the Empire

Her TikTok is her in a clone trooper helmet (anonymity to keep her brothers safe, she wants the Empire thinking they’re all dead) defending clones and talking more about why the Empire sucks

And last but not least (this isn’t quite social media, but it lives in my head rent free): Omega has a radio show a la Potterwatch in The Deathly Hallows called What the Empire Doesn’t Tell You with Havoc 5 (working title, let me know if you think of something better). It’s a sort of news outlet on a secure comm channel with a changing password or whatever. She brings in guest speakers all the time and it’s just talking about the unseen atrocities and what the Rebellion is doing to fight back and inspire hope. (The rebels on Lothal come up a lot.) Lots of clones come on the show with her, even Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair make the occasional appearance, and talk about their experiences. Hera is a frequent guest. Mon Mothma even went on the show once. The list goes on.

BONUS: The Empire has a whole ass tech division for the sole purpose of shutting down this mysterious ‘Havoc 5’. It’s honestly comedic how big this division gets because they keep failing lol. They can’t delete her accounts, they can’t track down the source of the activity, they can’t get on the radio show’s comm channel, etc. Why? Because Omega is a fucking menace who out smarts them at every turn seeing as Tech taught her everything he knew.

Feel free to add on to this!

[eiloveir]

→﹐naruto hc! <3

‹𝟹 :: ⭑⭒  🗨 !!  naruto characters and their social media habits

warnings: rushed and out-of-character

note: this is just something I decided to create on a whim, though I was inspired by a post on a clock app. i imagined how these characters might use social media, so here it is.

characters: konoha 12

𓋭  ۫   ☔️ ﹒ ❊  ͚

uzumaki naruto

this guy’s the reigning king of shitposting. he’s got a knack for calling out anything he deems “overrated,” and he doesn’t hold back. his feed is a never-ending stream of complaints about everything from minor inconveniences to full-blown disasters. you might see posts about how his ramen was too hot or things like pineapple on pizza. he’s the kind of troll who wouldn’t hesitate to pick a fight with kids on roblox, turning every argument into a battle that leaves them in tears and scrambling to save face (konohamaru). he would also be the type to start internet beefs over the most mundane things. if you’re ever scrolling through your feed and see a heated argument about why a certain trend is lame, chances are he is behind it.

haruno sakura

the feminist and activist extraordinaire! she’s the type of woman who not only supports human rights in every way possible but also cheers on the LGBTQ+ community with gusto—because, spoiler alert, she’s part of it. she’s someone who’s fully aware of the impact social media can have and is determined to use it to amplify her voice and make a real difference. i also think she has multiple social media accounts like a pro—there’s her private twitter account where she rants about how messed up the government is, her ao3 account where she writes fan fiction with a side of social commentary, and of course, her tumblr where she’s a curator of memes, political discourse, and everything in between. (me)

uchiha sasuke

god, bruh. this dude is basically a social media ghost—he hardly ever posts anything, but when he does, it’s like the internet has just won the lottery. he’s that guy who seems to do absolutely nothing yet somehow manages to grab everyone’s attention. he’s not really into posting on social media, but when he does, it’s always so aesthetically pleasing that you’d think he has a personal stylist and a professional photographer on speed dial. he doesn’t even try to make his posts look good; he just rolls out of bed and somehow manages to be effortlessly cool. man could post a picture of his breakfast and it would still get more likes than your entire feed.

nara shikamaru

this lazy ass (me) would probably end up being a streamer, posting about his win streaks and achievements in every game he plays. despite barely lifting a finger to do anything else, he’d be all over social media, bragging about every victory and high score. he’s the kind of guy who’d stream his gaming marathons from the comfort of his bed, racking up followers while casually lounging around in sweatpants. If there’s a leaderboard, you can bet he’s at the top, and he’s not shy about letting everyone know it.

yamanaka ino

girlie is the famous influencer! she’s always buzzing with posts about the latest fashion trends, beauty tips, and social events. like, you know, the kind of Instagram girlie who’s always flaunting her ootd and setting style standards. she’s practically a fashion icon with every outfit she wears. she’s also the type to post inspirational messages like “wear whatever makes you feel good” or “your body, your choice.” she’s incredibly popular across all her social media platforms and has a tiktok account—she’s all about those thirst traps and dance covers.

akimichi choji

my boi would definitely be the type to either watch mukbangs obsessively or become a mukbanger himself. he’d spend hours trying to replicate recipes he’s seen online, turning his kitchen into a culinary experiment zone. and you can bet he’d be posting all about it—sharing his attempts, successes, and occasional fails. his feed would be full of mouthwatering food shots and videos of him devouring his creations, proving that he’s just as passionate about cooking and eating as he is about sharing it with the world.

tenten

she’d regularly post about her daily life, giving followers an inside look at her studies or work. her feed would be filled with a lot of photos showcasing her favorite books, snapshots of her workout routines, and candid moments with her for lifers. she’s all about fitness, making her social media a hub for health tips and personal growth. you’d see her posting everything from meal prep ideas to gym selfies. she’d be the type to inspire others with her discipline and positivity.

rock lee

lee would be the type to flood his feed with gym and fitness content, sharing everything from his daily workout routines to personal fitness goals. his posts would be packed with enthusiasm and motivational messages, like “don’t judge a person because of their appearance” and other self-improvement quotes. despite his positive energy, not everyone’s a fan—especially naruto and kiba, who might be more inclined to roll their eyes and make a shitty rant about his optimism.

hyuga neji

this dude, much like sasuke, is totally indifferent to social media. he doesn’t bother with frequent posts but when he does, they’re thoughtful and deliberate. you might see him sharing reflections on life, articles he’s stumbled upon, or insightful news about everyday occurrences. he avoids jumping into pointless online drama or trends, yet somehow, he’s always clued in. that’s thanks to lee and tenten, who can’t stop talking about the latest gossip and social media happenings. despite his apparent disinterest, he picks up on all the chatter and remains surprisingly well-informed about the buzz. so, even though he’s a low-key user, he’s never completely out of the loop.

inuzuka kiba

his socials would be about random rants and memes. he’d post exaggerated complaints about the most trivial matters. his feed would be a fucking mess of humorous and offbeat content—think sarcastic comments, goofy polls, and plenty of memes featuring akamaru. he’d frequently stir up controversies, posting impulsively and diving headfirst into debates. his online presence would be a whirlwind of arguments, especially with naruto, where they often argue over who’s the dumbest between them.

hyuga hinata

she’s the type to be a crocheter, the kind you see on tiktok with an account just for her yarn creations. her feed would be packed with posts showcasing her latest crocheting projects—everything from cozy blankets and stylish scarves to adorable amigurumi (crocheted plush toys). she’d share detailed photos and videos of her work. her account would also feature tutorials and tips for fellow crocheters, helping them improve their skills. she might post about her extensive yarn collection, offer free patterns, and give followers a peek into her crafting process. whether she’s showing off her latest masterpiece or sharing a behind-the-scenes look at her studio, her feed would be a inspiring hub for all things crochet.

aburame shino

the random entomologist on your feed. he would be all about his shit for insects and the natural world. his posts would feature photos of various bugs, often accompanied by educational captions about their behavior, ecology, and characteristics. his feed would include updates from his fieldwork, observations on insect behavior, and informative posts about conservation efforts. while he might occasionally share glimpses of his other interests or hobbies, the focus would remain firmly on nature and entomology. whether he’s showcasing a rare beetle he’s spotted or sharing insights on preserving insect habitats, his content would be a treasure trove of knowledge for fellow nature enthusiasts.

[foxyyaoguai]

The antis have been all over my posts in the last few days, so I wanted to share my experiences and write a guide on how to deal with them. 

First off: Our ships and character preferences are valid, no matter how hard some people try to demonize them. We are part of fandom and allowed to post about the things we enjoy, just like everyone else. Our fanfics, fanart, video edits, photo edits, etc. are all works of love and they deserve to exist and be explored by others. 

✨ Strategies for dealing with antis ✨

Don’t engage. I have checked the bios of all the antis that left comments under my posts, and the majority of them are minors. You don’t want to talk to minors in fandom spaces!! And a conversation based on logic or reason won’t be possible either. 

Delete their comments. Tumblr, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube allow you to delete comments, DO IT!! You created something with love and hateful comments have no place underneath it. Even if the comment just makes you uncomfortable and isn’t outright hateful, it is perfectly reasonable to delete it for your own sanity.

Block generously. Not only the people who target you specifically but also anyone who engages in character- or ship-bashing. People who do that for one ship will do it for other ships too and it’s extremely bad fandom etiquette. When you see a character or ship-bashing post, block everyone who liked it and then the poster.

Report people for harassment. The rules vary by site, but especially threats of violence should be reported. Also, if someone follows you to another social media site after you’ve blocked them, that is called block evading and you should report that too. 

When you see other people getting hateful comments underneath their posts, leave a nice comment to offset some of the negativity. Your being supportive can make the difference between this person never posting again and them being motivated to keep going. People are always welcome to send me links to a post that is getting targeted by antis and I’ll like it and leave a nice comment. 🥰

Don’t let the bad comments outshine the positive ones! Every time my post gets enough traction for antis to find it, it also gets lots of lovely reactions. Many people have told me that my content and recommendations made them ship my OTP, and that is the single thing that makes me happier than anything else. Take a screenshot and look at these kinds of comments when you feel down. This is the real reason you should keep posting. 

Most hate comments are exceptionally uncreative. It helps to laugh about it, preferably with a friend. ✨ Remember, you used your energy to create something and you should be proud of it!

When you see a creator you like, but they also display obnoxious behavior towards people who like other ships, characters, or dynamics, at the very least don’t give them a platform by sharing their posts. 

Stay safe. Don’t post personal information online. 

It’s completely valid to step away from social media for some time. Private your accounts, turn off notifications, do a canon reread, read some fanfics in peace. Whatever it takes to remind you why you love the things you love. 

Bonus Tip: Watch videos of cute animals to destress. Bunnies nose-booping each other can (and will) cure anti-induced anxiety. :)

✨ Platforms sorted by least to most toxic and my advice for using them ✨

1. Discord 

Discord is great because you can join servers specifically for your favorite characters and ships. If a server doesn’t already exist, consider setting one up! Pro tip: only invite people that have positively interacted with you in the past. A small server consisting of nice people is a lot more fun than a large server consisting of members that can’t get along or are only marginally interested in the topic. 

Fandom Discord servers have clear guidelines on what you can post. As long as you follow the rules, people have no grounds for calling you out. In my experience, moderators are quick to respond to harassment.  

When you join a server and you see they heavily restrict certain types of content, it is a red flag. Proceed with caution, even if you plan to only talk about “safe” characters and ships. 

2. Tumblr

I have rarely gotten hateful comments on Tumblr, and the few times I did they were easy to delete.  

A lot of the older fandom generations use Tumblr and they are more mature and accepting of all kinds of content.

3. Twitter

Twitter makes it easy to curate your own fandom experience. You can mute words you don’t like to see on your timeline, mute and block users, and most people have their ship preferences in their bio.

4. Instagram

My Instagram posts about Jadecest get a lot of positive interaction, even more than on Twitter. There are unpleasant comments once in a while, but they are easy to delete. 

Blocking a user will delete all their comments from your posts. 

5. YouTube

People who don’t like your ship will downvote your videos and downvotes lead to the algorithm not recommending your videos. 

I have gotten a few negative comments, but they are easy to delete. 

6. Reddit 

When you post in a fandom subreddit, everyone will see the post, independent of their ship preferences. 

There are a lot of minors on Reddit. 

You can’t delete comments.

Most fandom subreddits are poorly moderated. 

7. TikTok

I have gotten the most hate comments on TikTok. They can be filtered or deleted, but antis interacting with your video by leaving hate comments will lead to the algorithm recommending your content to even more antis. It can get very ugly. 

If you post on TikTok consider turning off comments, stitches, and video replies. You can also mark your content as 18+, so it won’t get recommended to minors. (Again, antis tend to be underage.)

Platforms are more toxic the more they show your content to people outside your bubble. Discord, Tumblr, and Twitter keep your content relatively well contained to your circle of friends. Reddit, TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram heavily promote your content outside your bubble, which is good, because more people are going to see it, but also bad, because it reaches more antis. 

~~~

Antis are loud and obnoxious, but it’s important to remember that they are a minority. Ship and let ship still exists, especially among the people who have been in fandom spaces for more than just a few years. Don’t be afraid to post your content and express your love for your favorite characters and ships! I, for one, would love to see your creations, and many other people would love to see them too. 

What are your experiences and strategies for dealing with antis?

[ipegchangbin]

changbin pegger i invite you to walk with me, come on take my hand, here’s a suspiciously perfect peach for you my love.

i’ve been having dreams and visions and hallucinations, a single face plaguing my every waking thought, a certain curly haired fiend (no no, not our usual small chunky furry friend) today i command a “bang chan” as they (kids these days) call him. in my dreams i am sitting at a bar all dark and cool and tall and beautiful and mysterious, as i am, and this enchanting little minx is just sitting there, all cute and pretty and fuckable, as he is, and i want him and he wants me but he’s shy u know :( the poor guy, he steals his glances and i just full on ogle, send a smirk his way here and there, but oh no he’s turning away now and he’s not smiling back, maybe i read him wrong maybe he- or not because he’s suddenly making his way over, conjuring up some confidence, okay my turn! i entertain him a little, we talk, i buy him a drink (it’s just coke, he says he doesn’t drink, he’s just here with friends, it’s okay i can work with that) maybe, maybe just maybe he’s staring at my lips too much by the time our drinks are gone and we’re all close and personal, and mayyybe we kiss and everything is beautiful, the sun sets as a double rainbow paints the sky and i can hear the laughter of a thousand pink dolphins

and then i take him to my penthouse (the club bathroom) AND I FREAK IT, I FREAK IT SO GOOD SO NICE SO SWEET, as i do, we both came so much all over his stomach and i have to set him on the counter to catch his breath and then i clean him up and leave first, and he never stops thinking about me, i intentionally did not give him my number, whatever i said about being dark and mysterious (and did i mention tall and beautiful?) and no dick will ever compare to mine

and then i wake up changbin pegger unfortunately 😣😣😣😣

side note: i realized writing this it’s probably my first time sending an ask in my years of tumblr history, i’ve never had anything to say but u enchant me changbin pegger they should make u president of the world

beloved fruitcakebin you have truly blessed me with your experience in the dreamworld and i cannot get enough of this (and thank you for the beautiful peach it mustve taken you far too many laps around your grandfathers land to find the perfect one)

🏷️ sub!bang chan, dom!gn!reader, public bathroom tipsy sex

i love the idea of discovering and befriending a meek channie while in a social event…there’s something so charming about a guy who doesn’t even want to drink alcoholics to let loose.

maybe you’re the vice he’s looking for.

so as you make your advances, inch closer and get the boy’s awkwardness riled up to a ten, he looks cuter when he’s flushed and flustered. as pink as the peach you offered to me — peach soda in his hands — and he’s drowning in both the fizzy sip and your sparkling gaze.

you’re eating him up with your eyes alone.

or maybe your lips, because before you both know it, the self-introductions turn into spontaneous kisses.

neither of you know how it happened, maybe it was the intimate distance and semi-privacy in a sea of drunk people, but

you invite him over to the restroom with you because “you need someone to guide you” or something of the sort: it doesn’t matter, he follows you anyway. you expect him to.

he’s a mindless dog at this point, only loyal to a person he just met.

he follows you into the stall without thinking at all and you’re grateful that nobody seems to notice, because his eyes are only set on you even if he’s sober yet drunk on your love.

realizing he’s right there in the stall with you, you say “fuck it” out loud and it gets his cock harder than it already was. you can tell how hot and heavy it is, straining against his pants as you pull the fabric down while crashing your lips against his plump ones again.

chan tastes the alcohol on your mouth but also the sweetness of lust and it spurs him on. he moans without a care in the world and he’s accidentally loud. when you break away from the kiss, he hungers for more, leaning in with a desperation that you have to chuckle at. you’ve never met one like him.

“y/n,” he mutters and you’re surprised he still remembers your name, “may i touch you?”

you smirk. “hmm, i wanted to touch you first.”

you cup his balls through his underwear and he whimpers like a hurt puppy, but there’s a need and satisfaction in his system that he can’t explain. it feels too good to be wrong but he lets your hand play with him, running your fingers up the shaft before squeezing his thick cock even if it’s so big and dumb that it barely fits your hand.

you jerk him while kissing him — more like biting his lips and leaving hickeys on surrounding sensitive skin — and he’s undressing you hurriedly, cupping your chest and reaching for your bottoms only to realize that he’s about to get fucked with the aggression escalating from your end.

you rub your crotch on his exposed cock and ride his lower body against the wall, grabbing him by the neck and calling him pathetic things.

“such a good boy. can’t believe you were so shy. do you want to be a slut or do you want to be my favorite toy?”

chan’s head spins and he can’t keep up, your hand digs into his neck while the other tugs on his hair as you keep going and going. your hips roll so well on his, his pelvis starts to shake from the sheer pleasure, your words and raspy post-tipsy voice takes him to heaven, you ride his shirt up to expose his toned stomach, and—

“y/n! fuck!”

he cums, screaming almost, shooting his own load all over himself while you spray your essence on his cock.

you lick up the hand marks on his neck, down to his heaving chest (and nipples), and lick his own cum off his abs. he’s so particularly savory with a sweet aftertaste that it might just addicting.

chan’s a shaking mess and he backs into the wall of the stall while you clean up his still-leaking cock with your tongue.

but it feels so good.

you don’t give him your number. you don’t do anything. you merely kiss him goodbye and all he has of you is your cum on his body, your alluring face ingrained in his mind, along with a dark and mysterious name that haunts him for what seems to be forever.

a week later, your stroll downtown makes you meet face-to-face with chan again, and he looks like a puppy that found its way back home.

“hi, y/n!” he smiles, as if he hadn’t just had a wet dream about you the night prior to your fated meeting.

thank you beloved fruitcakebin, ill think about this ask forever, you should start writing this (while i write dj!chan)

[paullovescomics]

Many moons ago, when (I think it was) the fifth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was airing on TV, I decided it might be fun to join some mailing lists dedicated to the show, so I'd have more people to talk about the show with. (Mailing lists were pre-social media vehicles for fandom, somewhere between USENET and MySpace; imagine a chain of comments on a Tumblr post, but it's sent to you in email.) It definitely let me talk to more people about a show that I loved, but it also taught me that online fandom can take just as easily as it gives. [SPOILERS if you're just starting to watch the show, i think it might be having a minor resurgence atm.]

It wasn't a terribly negative experience. I didn't get bullied or even have my ideas shit on. That season had the show's typical mystery of what's the deal with this season's Big Bad and how are Buffy and the Scoobies going to defeat them, but it also had the mystery of Buffy's previously unseen sister, Dawn. Where did she come from? Howcome all the characters act like she's been there all along when she totally hasn't been? Et cetera, et cetera, et wtf.

There had been cryptic hints dropped in the previous season (Little Miss Muffet, counting down from 7-3-0), but they were very cryptic. Babylon 5 had concluded not too long ago, and HBO's mainstreaming of the "tv show as novel" concept had not quite kicked into gear yet, so nerdy fannish brains were hungry for a well-planned-out tv narrative to sink their teeth into. This mailing list was full of speculation, sometimes based on those aforementioned hints, sometimes based on the bits of Latin and German text seen in the opening credits (the show is full of mystical tomes), to all those sorts of background details and clever quips that supposedly have hidden meanings. You know how it can get.

Of course I had my own theories, which I do not remember. That's suspiciously convenient, because I do remember that they were wrong. (Good job, super ego. You saved me from an embarrassing memory for once. That doesn't mean we're okay about all the other stuff.) Whatever my wrong predictions were, it really bugged me when they turned out to be wrong. And before they were proved to be wrong, it also bugged me when I would watch the show and someone else's theory, usually one I didn't like so much, would pop into my head. Oh, that one character did that thing that supposedly proves that such-and-such will happen. There was a mention of that so-called clue that means Dawn will turn out to be whatever annoying thing that one poster said that I didn't like. My pet theory being wrong was just the stink on top of the turd pie.

So at the end of that season, I thought, this deeper involvement in fandom has made the show less fun to watch. And that sucked, because I really liked that show. I'd found it at the beginning, and my enjoyment of it had grown from a very simplistic "hey, there's an attractive lady kicking vampires" to a real appreciation of all the character growth and the good acting and the smart metaphors and the playing with tropes, all the stuff that makes a tv show good. And one of my best friends had recently gotten into the show, though they were still catching up via my obsessive video taping (a lost art, folks). All that enjoyment was diminished, if only a bit, by my participation is a particular aspect of fandom. I unsubbed from the mailing lists and decided I wouldn't go down that path again.

Obviously, I didn't completely give up on online fandom, because here I am. But I have tried to be much more careful in how I engage with that fandom. Speculation isn't for me. It might be for you. Digging into behind-the-scenes details, and examining statements that creators have made about a story is not for me. It might be for you. What is for me is finding those stories--whatever medium they may be told in--that appeal to me, taking them in, letting myself get lost in the details that catch my attention, talking about those things with friends, and occasionally posting something here. Similar vibes seem to attract each other here. Most of the interaction is just a like, which I can interpret as appreciation for the thing that I enjoy or maybe my rambling about it, and that's nice. When folks do reply with more than a like, it's almost always thoughtful and written in a chill, conversational way.

I reckon the moral is, it's worthwhile to notice how your interaction with fandom affects your enjoyment of the art that brought you there in the first place, and it can be helpful to tailor that interaction so that you get the most positive and the least negative out of it.

[aweirdlisa]

My Big Boi Genloss Theory

Hello! Those who follow me on twitter know I've released a rather long theory document, over 12 pages long I believe, doing a pretty deep dive into all the genloss lore and how I believe most of it connects and plays out!

Those who wish to read the full doc are more than welcome to do so here, though I'll be making a revised and summarized (as much as i can) version for the tumblr folks right here!

So take my hand and follow me below!

Welcome to the Multiverse

We've all seen a certain red orb by now which first appeared on the generation loss website in the game centered around the Hero, a while before the Social Experiments were released.

As the Hero interacts with the orb behind the dumpster, we see visual glitches and suddenly find ourselves in a red tinted, damaged version of the world we were just in.

Well, next time we see this orb is around November 24th when the 2nd chapter of The Founder's Game (TFG) is released. Those who paid attention will have noticed it was hidden in the site's source code back when we encounter it.

The person we're controlling touches the orb and much like before, they wake up in a red tinted world, similar to the one they were in before touching the orb.

Now this red tint I keep bringing up may not have actually been there for the people in question, but it's a good way of conveying to us, the audience, that a change has occurred.

So how different-yet-the-same are these worlds? Well in TFG we're walking in a set of hallways with metal doors pre-orb, but a specific mention of posters of school clubs and teams let's us draw a similarity between this and the post-orb world. Even more specifically, the posters are "more worn than you remember", which makes the connection even less doubtful.

As Ben wakes up in LF High and wanders the hallways, we note that the environment is familiar to him, with the same type of school posters lining the walls alongside lockers.

So what does the orb have to do with the multiverse then?

Ben dies a lot in TFG, each time he wakes up again, the school is a little bit different. The changes become more surreal the more Ben comes to die. Lockers change colours, but then hallways physically twist and gravity acts strangely.

It's easy to brush things off as "part of the game", with Ben dying and resetting just being a mechanic. But we are clever enough to realise that whatever Showfall presents us is actually happening to someone, somewhere.

Another hint awaits us in the science lab in TFG, where we find a book titled "String Theory and Parallel Universes"

In an earlier theory I posted here on tumblr I already brought up a possible multiverse theory when we were repeatedly confronted with the "tunnels" in the genloss videos, but I will get back to this later.

If all these schools are supposed to be parallel universes, why do they differ SO much by the time Ben died a couple times? It could be happenstance that the changes get worse over time instead of random levels of chaotic. However the fact that the strange shifts happen so chronologically tells me that it's something else.

Now what could we possibly call a phenomenon where something gets progressively worse each time it undergoes a certain process?

It's Generation Loss Babyyyyy

The Generation Loss we often thought was solely connected to the VHS tapes has a much greater scope!

However it occurs, it definitely has something to do with the orb's influence or power, causing whoever touches it to relive a part of their world over and over (maybe within a pocket dimension?), until the generation loss sets in each time they die.

To tie it back to the Founder and TSE, it's interesting to look at the orb's possible influence in the earlier timeline as well.

At first I thought the rewinding of the Founder's Cut tapes was causing the Hero to relive their nightmare over and over, but now it seems like the tapes and VCR controls may just be that - controls to let the Founder use the orb and make people relive things until everything is to their wishes.

With how limited Ben's world felt, it's possible there are certain parameters set up by either the orb's limitations or the Founder, to create a controlled environment.

To me it feels like the generation loss is a symptom of the orb, either deliberately used by the Founder, or a side effect they can't quite control.

The Orb

Yes that red thing again. I believe it may be the centerpiece of our story, with the genloss symbol itself - however iconic and ever present - being more of an assist.

The orb is very dangerous, especially if it's a tool the Founder is using to create their "perfect stories". The effect of the orb affects many, and I believe it's possible it may have affected the very Founder themselves too, though I'm keeping that open for another time.

What we do know of the orb so far is that by touching it, you undergo its influence and "enter its world", however it's also possible to find the orb yet again within this world, which to me indicates touching the orb may provide an exit to whoever is under its effects. This may be the only way out for Ben, unfortunately I doubt his physical changes will revert.

Back in TFG, we're shown many mutations of Ben over time as he looks into the mirror.

Now there's plenty of people who have drawn the parallels already between Ben's unravelling and the robotic creature we saw back in chapter 2 in the holding cell.

As the multiverse and parallel universe theories go, there's a lot of different, but also similarities present between them. One such consistent theme is that of Ben's association with robots.

Each time he awakens in the class room, the class's subject changes, but his sketchbook doodles do not: There's always one of a robot.

Other details that follow this theme is when Ben is strangled with electrical wires by the creature roaming the halls and gets a computer screen thrown at him.

It's entirely possible Ben is undergoing something that the wire-creature from the holding cell has gone through before. It wouldn't surprise me if this was one of the many ways the Founder uses the orb.

The Founder and Showfall Media

We know very little of the Founder and Showfall, but by going through tweets, videos and any piece of context we get, we can try to figure some things out.

One thing that stood out to me for a long time was the special keynote we got in  “Announcement” over on youtube. A representative of Showfall tells us that they have been providing entertainment for families around this world and that they now have connected with a new frontier to which they want to bring their influence with a new live experience which ends up being the Social Experiments.

The wording is so specific and was some of the first near-solid proof to me that there’s something multiversal going on.

Even when referring to the Founder’s cut in the video "Again", there is the specific mention that it is the “first, a test of what is possible with infinity”, which at first sounded like a tape-rewinding situation, but now with the orb involved may mean literal universal infinity. A sort of disclaimer at the start of "Coming_Soon" also mentions that what wer're about to see actually happend, just not here.

At some point Showfall connected to a new frontier (our world) to show us TSE and “bring their influence” to us. Which might mean that Showfall (and the Founder) have plans to change or influence our world with their “entertainment” too.

In any case, we learn a bit more about this and the Founder’s behavior towards the matter of these stories and frontiers when we receive a letter from the Founder’s desk. It is encoded in what we’ve come to call the Founder’s Cipher, and was addressed to a certain “you”.

Within the text, looking back on it with the multiversal theory in mind, many sentences stand out like:

“There were many like you, but I knew you were special.”

“There is more beyond what I watch.”

“I can create anything.”

“I will create something perfect.”

It’s possible the Founder will use the orb and many more innocent victims to manipulate worlds and people to turn them into a perfect story. The precise motive as to why this is all happening is unclear, but we've been given some vague hints through a certain character Ben meets along his way.

It’s a bit too vague right now to be entirely certain, but when Ben encounters the Fortune Teller and presses its button, we are treated to some deliciously vague allusions of an internal struggle:

“You know this will kill you, you’re chasing someone else’s dream. You are losing everything in the process. What is it all for? The hope of salvation? The hope to do what you believe you are meant to be doing? What is it that you even want anymore? Is this even for you? Who is this even for? Answer me, please.”

We’re told that this audio occurs as the Fortune Teller’s mouth opens after Ben presses the button, so it’s easy to assume this is directed at Ben, which it might as well be, though if we were to assume it’s directed at someone else, like the Founder, the meaning of the text becomes very interesting.

What if the Founder is chasing someone else’s dream? Perhaps someone they looked up to? Someone they lost? This could be grounds for a motive on why they’re desperately forming perfect stories, testing what is possible with infinity, maybe to regain something or someone? Maybe out of revenge? Out of love? Out of spite?

Whatever it is, it has gone wrong and has cost them everything, to the point they may not even know themselves what it’s all for. Perhaps the Founder, through their research and endless experiments, has lost themselves to generation loss too, losing their humanity and everything else along with it. Maybe even more?

Sadly we can only speculate on who it addresses and what it precisely means, but the Fortune Teller has definitely peaked my interest.

Infinitely so (hah) when Ben encounters the machine again in a circus in chapter 6. Here, when we choose not to press the button, the Fortune Teller shows possible awareness of the fourth wall, of us being in control, as he says he’s glad we “explored our options”, but then ends up speaking without the button even being pressed. He even directly responds to the text we see on our screen where we claim to “not have time for this”, as he responds with “I think you do”.

The second time we hear the Fortune Teller speak, however, it’s specified that it is in a different voice:

“He is the end and the beginning, do you ever wonder why everything is happening like this? Or why this damn thing keeps appearing every single time? Or why everyone, everyone but me, seems to just ignore this? It’s not just that, it was never just that. You don’t get it, this isn’t for me. Or for you. It is for everyone here. This is important. What I do.. is finally important.”

The Fortune Teller then tells us it’s almost like “we were meant to see this” in his regular voice.

Now this second text reads as a recording of part of a conversation between two or more people. Someone is telling someone else that “he” is the beginning. So who is talking to who? And who is “he”?

If we are to assume the “he” is the Founder, then it sounds like this is a conversation between two coworkers who maybe work for the Founder, talking about possibly the orb appearing in places, and how it’s “for everyone”.

Though if we assume the person speaking is the Founder, then it may just be that the Founder was looking up to someone who started the work, and ended up finishing it for some reason, feeling like their work is important and impacts many. Though the first assumption feels more obvious.

It’s also fun to note that “beginning” was the password to the Founder’s Game website the first time we found it through the VHS tapes of the Founder’s Cut. However no fitting password has yet been found to the computer.

The Generation and Screens

Probably one of my favourite chapters in my big boy theory.

To look at the bigger picture of it all, what once may have been a simple timeline of literal generations, could now turn into a mess of universes and time periods that all come together to show us the true extent of the Founder’s influence.

I’ve mentioned this before, but another great visual marker of the bridging between “generations” is the text in the corner of several genloss videos, showing us when we’re dealing with generation 0 or generation 1. Much like a camcorder has the date in the corner of the screen, we see the generation something was recorded in. This goes hand in hand with the "tunnels" I've mentioned before.

Whenever we seem to move to Generation 1 we go forward through the tunnel, yet backwards when dealing with Generation 0.

At first I thought this meant time travel or a multiversal scenario, now I'm definitely more inclined to choose the latter. The tunnels appear to work as divides between the worlds, possibly using the orb to cross them.

Once again red is a prevalent colour, much like the red orb, the red tinted worlds, the generation loss symbol and the red square associated with the Founder.

Where do we stand in all this? Well mostly every form of visuals we’ve seen from Showfall or the Founder has been through a screen, be it the VHS tapes people bought, the Social Experiments through twitch, or the games through a literal monitor on the website which doubles up with out own phones/computers/devices we access the site through. It’s always screens (which honestly also really lends itself well for the “careful what media you consume” or “all media is influenced somehow” allegories throughout genloss).

(This post continues in part 2)

[imqueerandadeer]

Okay it's time again for rants and personal stories no one fucking asked for. Todays topic: How fucking rampant and normalized ableism is, with comments from @pansgoobernonsense as usual.

Really long post ahead guys you've been warned.

The reason it has been featured in the last post and now this one is because it's also ND and Asian and I wanted to get other peoples experiences with ableism.

It also said that I can interview it for practice because journalism sounds cool to me and I might want to be a journalist.

Anyways obligatory disclaimer/reminder. I don't speak for all mentally disabled people because we are not a monolith!! For example I am great at masking my ADHD and Autism (I'll get into that with more context later) and it's somthing I've picked up subconsciously. Other people with my same conditions may not be good at masking.

Also this post will mostly center around mental disabilities, specifically ADHD and autism because thats what we have and know most about. Neither me nor my friend are physically disabled (to my knowledge) so I won't speak much on it because It's not my place.

Alright with that out of the way lets add some context.

Hi, if you don't know me or haven't seen my blog before (most of you probably have though in some shape or form) I'm Ollie or Cupid. I have ADHD, self diagnosed (and peer diagnosed) autism, and possible dyscalculia. Theres also a millon other things I'm suspicious about having but I won't get into those.

Lets start with this, imagine (or don't idc) that your back in *gasp* middle school. Terrifying. Now since this is tumblr I'm gonna assume most of you have autism and/or ADHD so y'all most likely know what it's like to be in middle school and be ND. But still I wanted to talk about my experiences with ableism in school.

Okay I've noticed that the difference of how I get treated because I mask and those that can't mask for whatever reason is wildly different. I have instructional support which is technically special ed and no one has ever called me "Sped" or the R-slur. Versus the the kids who visibly have support needs and their disabilities are present. They get called those things all the fucking time.

The hypocrisy of it all is what really gets me. Kids at my school will really stand there and call these other kids dehumanizing things while I stand there as a person with ADHD and autism having to akwardly laugh it off and pretend it doesn't effect me. Yes of course I tell them off but it doesn't work, because they have been taught that what they're saying is fine and people who have higher support needs are not human, which is wrong and ablesist.

Thats not even their fault really it's what they were taught. Although if they weren't taught it and they know It's wrong but still do it then it's their fault

It genuinely got so bad that me and my friends wrote a letter to the office telling them about the ablesist language at our school, I don't think the letters ever got sent but yeah it was that bad.

On another note I don't think my schools very wheelchair accessible at all, although I wouldn't know really because I don't use a wheelchair.

Now heres @pansgoobernonsense experiences woth ableism as a whole, while mine were mostly about school its are more personal

"My personal experiences with ableism are mostly from my parents, and since I have not one but two neurodevelopmental disorders I’ve experienced it a lot. The most notable of these experiences come from my parents reaction to my autism.

A notable example was the time I was crying because I didn’t want to go to a party (I had had a panic attack at another similar party at the same place with similar people) and my dad had said I didn’t need to go but my mom made me.

I tried to explain (through tears) that I didn’t want to go and my dad angrily called me “autistic”. I’ve also been told to just “act normal” in social situations (despite the textbook definition of autism being essentially “I can’t act normal in social situations”). My parents have also neglected to tell me about my diagnosis for basically my entire life.

I was diagnosed when I was 2-3 and only found out this year. The reason behind this decision was “if I knew I’d tell everyone and use it as a get out of jail free card”.

They seem to treat my diagnosis as a label rather than an actual disability. It makes sense, since historically mental disabilities haven’t been treated the same as physical disabilities, but it’s still an awful experience."

While my experiences with things like this haven't been as severe as Nicks experiences I do have some of my own.

One time I was talking to my mother and she said that they suspected I had ADHD but didn't get me tested until I was 12 because she didn't want me on meds that early, which yes is a semi fair point but still why would you keep your suspicions a secret until I startes to notice and suspect it myself. That seems so weird to me and it could have saved me a lot if trouble if she had just told me.

Anyways thats it, sorry if it's not cohesive or coherent it's 1:00 am for me, I need to sleep

[askinkiskarma]

Hi beautiful amazing besties x

I know it’s been a long time since i’ve been on here, so i just wanted to check in and let you know i’m still alive. I currently don’t have tumblr on my phone anymore, a choice i feel i’ve had to make for my mental health, so I do apologise if you’ve reached out to me and know that I appreciate it massively coming back to see so many lovely messages and asks. I know I’ve been really bad at answering people, but please do know it’s not out of lack of trying, more so just feeling overwhelmed at a task that somehow feels insurmountable. It’s a good problem to have, I know, but when you already feel overwhelmed on a day to day basis by the ongoing onslaught called daily life, it can get a bit too much.

I know a lot of you wonder about the future of my currently unfinished works, and I promise I do have all the best intentions when it comes to finishing them, but if I’m honest with myself, I don’t think I can reasonably say I will be able to in the near future. I am in the middle of my final year of a very intense, very frustrating PhD, and to be honest, it feels like a lot more than I bargained for the majority of the time. As I navigate trying to finish my experiments, trying to write my thesis, apply for postdocs, write and apply for conferences, trying to figure out living arrangements for next year, as well as maintaining a semblance of a social and personal life and a healthy balance of also taking care of myself and my body, I hope you’ll understand why it’s not truly reasonable for me to also worry about my fics.

Now, I love you for reading my writing, for caring about it, and I promise I’ll be better at communicating, and since I can’t publish the next chapters for a little while, if you are at all curious about where they are going and you don’t mind spoilers, pls feel free to send me an ask or a dm and ask whatever questions you have in mind xx

Stay happy and healthy and as always, big smooches!

A x

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week In Review XVI & 2023 Wrapped

I feel like 2023 just started five minutes ago, am I the only one who feels like this year as passed by quickly but at the same time dragged its heels?

I've seen so many lovely end of year close out posts and years in review. I toyed with how I wanted to close out the year and what I could say that could sum it up sufficiently.

Betty rambles under the cut with this weeks reads if you're interested...

2023 has been a weird year if I'm entirely honest and somewhat isolating. I returned from mat leave, back to working from home, and having to scramble to make adjustments when things fell through. Which resulted in Mr. Truly and I working opposite shifts to ensure the S.S. Truly stayed afloat.

But during the last six months somehow I made it back to Tumblr, to an old account from way back when - pre-dating when the Canucks made it to game seven kinda old - I blew off the dust, cleaned house and made myself a little space. I still don't know 100% how it all happened, though I think it started with the Reddit forum.

You don't need to know the whole spiel about Pedro, because while we're here because of him, it's the community that holds us here. After floating and not really knowing what I was doing, I started to make connections within this community and finding a seat at the table (we'll come back to that) and I found joy again. I'd kinda lost myself in the fog that is half a dozen other titles/roles others looked to me as that had replaced just Betty.

I started writing, hadn't done that in years. I rekindled by love for graphic design, what I went to school for. I was reading books again, as well as so many great fanfics here. I even bought poetry books, something I hadn't done since I don't know when.

I've been really fortunate in my experience that I've encountered so many wonderful people. I may not get to be as social as I'd like to be, and I still have a fear of dropping into DM's & Asks unannounced. I have the shittest memory, if I don't keep a tab open or reply straight away it's sometimes days or weeks before I remember again. But I really hope that I've returned in kind what others have given me because I'd hate for anyone to feel like they don't belong here, because you do.

This community is a table (told you I'd come back) and it's size is immeasurable. It has no bounds and there's always room for whatever kind of chair you pull up and if you don't have one? We'll find one. Need to leave for a while? We'll save your seat. This my friends is a community, and if you're met with those who tell you the table is full, I'm telling you now, they're not a part of it.

Are there going to be those with more notes? Yes. Are there going to be people you're going to compare your writing to? Yes. Are you going to maybe want to pack it all in and delete your masterlist now and then? Yes.

But none of that takes away anything that makes you, you and what you bring to the table.

Life is hard enough without the added pressure of thinking you need to score imaginary internet points with stats and metrics that carry no value. I wish I knew the magic formula, because I'm still trying to figure it out myself, but let's try and be kinder to ourselves eh?

But I'm really going into 2024 with the goal of curating my own joy - whether it be indulging in the fanfics I want to write and read, more obnoxious coffees, a new fountain pen, giving myself permission to buy the fancy notebook, get back to baking or binging both seasons of Julia and pretending I can make one of her recipes.

So to sum it up, before this goes into a further incoherent ramble, this year has been about reaching out, starting connections and building something meaningful. I've met some amazing people that I am lucky to call friends and without their kindness and extending a seat at the table I'm not sure I'd still be around these parts.

Here's to more of that in 2024 - while I'm not always the best at replying to messages, my DM's and Ask's are always open, feel free to drop in at any time 💕

Pedro Tax™️ for your time...

T R U L Y  U P D A T E S . . .

December x 500 is complete-ish? Thanks to being sick towards the end of the month there's three entries missing, but I'm hoping to sneak them in during the new year! I'm looking forward to a quieter writing schedule that's for sure!

W H A T  I  R E A D . . . Didn't read as much as I wanted to this week - but I'm off this next week, so hoping to do a little more and get through some of my TBR list!

All I Want for Christmas (Frankie) by @morallyinept This was a delightful festive meet-cute that had me on the edge of my seat and also explores the character of Frankie and the ramifications of his actions on his friendships and his ex. 

All I Want (Will Miller) by @laurfilijames This was a bittersweet one-shot that touched on the idea that the festive season isn’t always for everyone and that you never know what’s going on with someone. 

I Put My Book Down to Be Here (Dieter) by @frenchiereading My first New Year’s Eve fic I’ve read this season and it’s so sweet and has a soft Dieter (my fave), who is still his chaotic self! I loved this from start to finish and such a great meet-cute!

Had Me Fooled (Dave) by @wildemaven Heidi has done such an amazing job with this mini series that can be read as a standalone or as a series. I love a soft Dave and Heidi does it so well. This last one had my toes curling in all their romantic glory and I will be revisiting this series again I'm sure!

Reunions (The Thief) by @ladamedusoif I'm behind on Rose's December prompts, but this was the steamy follow up to My Kiss, Only For You (go read that first, no seriously, go read it) and it was so delectable and my greedy self hopes we see these two again in the future.

Cookies (Tim) by @ladamedusoif Speaking of delicious things, this was as indulgent and sweet as the cookies made in this fic. Tim was one of the characters I didn't see becoming such a favourite this year - but I love seeing everyone's interpretation of him. This one here? In my top ranked versions 🫠

So here's to 2024!

Thank you for every interaction, reblog, or tag - every single one is held clutched to my heart in appreciation every time!

Stay safe, and whatever you're doing or wherever you are sending you much love!

[poognthebrainbois]

Get to Know Us!

Hey Y'all! We're the Songbook System!

Some general/collective info:

• Call us Song! (Unless we specify who's fronting)

• Collectively they/he (but feel free to ask if you don't know a headmate's personal pronouns)

• Bodily 21

• Bodily white

DNI:

• ENDOS/People who think you can choose to be a system.

(Edit: fake/"non-disordered" systems of any kind - do not fucking interact)

• People who think introjects are their source

• Anyone who uses age regression in a sexual context

• Minors just be safe and know your own boundaries. We will most likely not interact directly.

Please interact:

• Traumagenic systems

• OC writers

• DnD players

• Spn fandom

• Mlp fandom

• Fans of the MCU

• X-Men movie fans (have not read the comics but interested)

• Btvs and or general vampire fan

• Artists!

• Small critter enjoyers

• People with cats

• Shitposters

• Gay people (only the cool ones that are inclusive of aspec people)

Fronters/tags below:

Frequent Fronters/Posters:

(And their sign-offs/tags)

Hal

Werewolf Transgenderism personified. In denial half the time, of werewolf-ism and systemhood. Never our transness. If there's one thing he's sure about it's that. A bro. Needs a hug but will not ask for one.

- he/they 🏳️‍⚧️

- 21

- trans content, werewolf posting,

- 🧡

- Awoo Ahaha fuck

Echo

Genderqueer cryptid (ex-vampire??) who makes too many jokes at their own expense. Occasionally genuinely funny. Gay. RAGING BPD but that's what the therapy's for.

- they/he/ask

- 21

- vampire/death aesthetic, bats, bpd feels, whatever he finds funny

- 🦇

Poog

Lil' guy. Muppet child. Loves kibbies, mac n cheese, and our friends. Speaks in solely tumblr vocabulary. Just happy to be here! :)

- he/they

- lil guy

- mostly cute animals, very specific tumblr humor.

- 💖

- Pooger time!

Paznia

Introject of our first LARP character, looooong history as an alter in the system. Not great at socializing but tries her best. Loves bright colors and nature. Would die for the Crane Wives.

- she/xe

- hard to say. 20 ish??

- aesthetic pics, self-care, Autistic experiences, poetry???

- 💎

- Not Quite Ursa Minor

Michelle

The daughter our mother could've had. Initially a "Catty Bitch" and boundary enforcer, she's working on letting herself have feelings too. Yowch. Love her!!!!!!

- she/her

- 23

- vent posts, Girl Things™, BPD posts, Eldest Daughter trauma

- 👑

- Princess (derogatory)

Okay that's it! :)

[visage-of-hell]

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

Roleplayer name: Everyone calls me Yeen, cuz my online handle across a lotta places is usually "YeenQueen" or some variation of that, and my Twitch channel is called "YeenQueenGaming".

Roleplayer pronouns: She/Her

Muse name(s): Visage, but goes by "Vizzy" or "Viz" for short in most social situations.

Preferred communication: Discord, 100%. I literally LIVE on there when I'm not on here or in one of my games. Even take it on the go with the mobile app. I'm totally good with Tumblr IMs, though, don't get me wrong! My only beef with them is the fact that I often don't get notifications from it in real time. It either never pings at all or it makes the sound without the chat actually updating until I refresh the page. Fix your damn spaghetti code, Tumblr, for FUCK'S sake! XD

Experience: Honestly? I've been RPing in SOME form or another since my preteen years. Originally it was IRC chat rooms, then MUCKs (for those who remember those), forums, over email, online games (which I still do in WoW to this very day) ... and then it moved on to whichever instant messaging program was most popular at the time--ICQ, AOL Instant Messenger, MSN Messenger, Skype, and now Discord. I've been on and off with Tumblr across various fandoms for yeeeeeeears now. Since at LEAST 2014, as one of the earliest RP blogs I ever made was a Dhalish elf OC within the Dragon Age fandom.

Preferred roleplay type: Multi-para/novella style, 100%. I do NOT know when to stop, if a scene REALLY gets me going. I have hit the size limit on Tumblr posts on MULTIPLE occasions. I write third person perspective and that usually comes with a lot of inner dialogue and thoughts from the character's perspective in addition to reacting to whatever is happening in a given scene.

Pet peeves & dealbreakers: I always worry that I'm being elitist by saying this, but solid punctuation, spelling and grammar are all EXTREMELY important to me. I gravitate towards people with complimentary writing styles to my own for full RP immersion, so writing with people that deviate from that are just a no-go for me. I'm so sorry. >_< Also people who leave me to do most of the heavy lifting in terms of moving a scene forward. Gimme things to react to, to build upon, a sense of direction, y'know? If I'm constantly the one that has to keep the plot momentum going, I'm gonna burn out and lose interest FAST. Also people who use my characters like "props" rather than having real genuine interactions with them (be it as allies, enemies or something somewhere in between).

Best time to write: Late night, for sure. Not just because that's when all my creative juices flow the best but also because everyone's in bed for the night and I have zero RL interruptions to break my flow. If good ol' insomia has struck again, though, wee early hours of the morning are also probable writing times, cuz the same reasoning still applies!

Are you like your muse? I'd like to think I do a FAIRLY good job of keeping my OCs from coming off as self-inserts, BUT ... let's be honest--we all put at least a LITTLE of ourselves into our OCs, in SOME way/shape/form. I wish I had Vizzy's confrontational prowess and zero bullshit-taking attitude, and that I was anywhere NEAR as good in a fight and on the dance floor as she is, but there IS one thing she and I definitely have in common--the obsessive drive to escape. For me it's writing, gaming and crafting, but the motivation is much the same. It's always so much easier to just bury the pain and the bad under layers of good times and feel-good vibes than to actually CONFRONT that darkness head-on. Much like Vizzy, I try to but don't always succeed ... but I'd like to think that someday I'll have a much better success rate than she does. Eventually. XD

Tagged by: @doublejango

Tagging: @poisonedspider @cup-0fp0isonx @arachnoheaux @shattered-divinity @hcllsbigboss @radiomurdeer @voxuli & ANYONE else who wants to! <3