#WHAT THE HELL MAN IM SO EMOTIONAL

[theashemarie]

I'm not really active on tumblr anymore, im just a lurker, but I still wanted to send some fanart :]

Only a sketch bc i didn't have much time, but hope you like it anyway!

OMG???? HELLO???

THANK YOU SO MUCH WTF???? ;A; Love love LOVE the body language you used!! 🥹🥹🥹 Thank you for breaking lurker status to send this to me omg what a great thing to wake up to ‼️💜

[some-messed-up-writing-for-you]

No greater horror than going to reread one of your favourite fics only to realize it was fucking deleted.

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU SAVED IT ALL A WHILE BACK AND FIND THE SAVED COPY

So now Im just staring at the fucking PDF file of the fic, absolutely flabbergasted and shocked. This is it. This is the only way I'll ever be able to read it now. Holy shit 😭

The author deleted their entire accout too, so I guess they just wanted to get rid of everything. Which, I mean, is fine, it is their work after all. They can do whatever they want with it.

BUT MAN, Im gonna be saving stuff all the time from now on.

[lycandrophile]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

[synthshenanigans]

the fact there's a parallel universe out there where he actually named the channel "sneeb" instead of "chonny jash" terrifies me.

[girlivealwaysbean]

honestly I totally understand now how men grow up to be total trashbags

[bmpmp3]

and another thing about vocal synth fans: we will always find some adult male voicebank to turn into a funny little clown for our amusement. some guy to communally bully in our talkloids, the miserable straightman to the shenanigans, the sad little freak punchline to our jokes. it happened to kaito. it happened to gakupo. it happened genbu. it even happened a bit to kevin (although he seems to have looped around somehow). and it will happen to you too, frimomen. it will happen to you too.

[marsixm]

i dont rly ever acknowledge it outside of the moment but man so much of my job rly is just emotionally supporting a ton of my coworkers and im happy to be there for them but sometimes i wish it wasnt only me. idk. i dont rly have a point just reflecting

[worriesndoodles]

i did not carefuly saved every tgaa related material to look into in detial after finishing the games to open all the reddit posts to see poeple shitting on the games

[wurmwizzard]

I went to a little pottery festival in a small town close to mine this morning, and I obviously understand I'm a visually alt/queer looking person living in the deep south. Yes. I get that. But the whole time I felt like a horrible fart everyone was desperately trying to pretend they didn't smell. I had a lovely conversation with a Spanish lady I bought a mug from, but many of the vendors desperately avoided my eye contact, and a few flat out ignored me. Which is baffling, do you even want my money?? my scary gay money?

[astranauticus]

revisiting old fandoms is always an interesting experience but man revisiting my old fandoms from around the time of my gender crisis is especially wild like good news i now know that unexplainable Bad emotion i feel every time i look at that One Bastard is gender envy! bad news now that i know what it is it has gotten so much worse.

[lovely-whimsandhopes]

no way im crying at 2 am and theyre driving over to comfort me. like no fucking way

[istherewifiinhell]

First reprimand for shitty customer service <3. Well first one that wasnt just just my boss laughing and saying a local famous person accused me of stealing their wallet [left it on a shelf].

[milo-is-rambling]

I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn

[b0nelessdoodles]

that feel when the ship goes canon 🎉🎉🎉

non-meme version of the smooch and also the rip cause holy shit i love him

[roaringheat]

Oh my fuckin god... the friend that deleted all his accounts and I was told was legit missing for this past half year is apparently in contact with my dad, who was the one who informed me in the first place, and neither him nor my sister bothered to tell me that this old friend that disappeared off the fuckin earth was actually alive jfc

[the-kipsabian]

do you ever love so much you internally combust and just cry uncontrollably