#WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THE PAIN?!!

[epickiya722]

Maybe I need Nurse Kenjaku because I AM SICK FROM EPISODE!!! MY HEART IS BROKEN!!

[casualavocados]

Don't you push me. You said you would always look at me. ...You asked for it yourself.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09

[posletsvet]

It's only just now clicked for me that all the despicable horrors Sukuna drags Yuuji through time and again, all the feats of grand, unseen violence he puts up just for Yuuji, all the heinous atrocities and pain he inflicts on Yuuji -- they actually carry an inkling of something strategical, coldly calculated. Don't get me wrong, doing all that Sukuna clearly enjoys himself, his rampage in Shibuya sizzling with euphoria of finally getting to move freely, unshackled, and in the end that is the very nature of a curse -- cause suffering for the sake of suffering and feast upon it. But Sukuna, perhaps rather oddly, doesn't strike me as someone who would hold petty grudges and act upon them spitefully. Especially in regard to someone like Yuuji, who Sukuna considers little different from the filth beneath his feet and doesn't hesitate to make it known. So why even bother hating something so insignificant, miniscule? Why spare an effort to make this particular life miserable when suffering is already inherent to human condition? And while I'm at it, here's one more question, perhaps more on point with what I'm trying to say: why retreat of your own free will to the state of entrapment and give up the reins of control so soon after they fell into your hands?

Back to the point I started this rambling with, it seems to me that in the chaos Sukuna causes there is calculation. I think he's trying to do to Yuuji what he did in the end to Megumi -- crash this boy's beating heart and drown his soul. Sukuna's actions appear pointed, aware of the effect they make, targeted directly at that very thing which would hurt Yuuji the most, thus pushing him to the breaking point. Countless casualties, pointless bloodshed and utter devastation -- all to crack Yuuji's resistance, to eliminate the ability to fight back in a boy who was careless enough to wear his heart out on his sleeve in a world that grinds the kind down and spits out their bones.

But the darker the weather, the better the man. Where every other human being would break, Yuuji stands unyielding. The more is taken away from him, the more reasons he has to keep fighting. When the only sacrifice he could ever accept was his own, he lost too much. So he ploughs on -- because that's the only way he can pay the unfathomably high cost of him being alive. And for all his experience and cunning wit, Sukuna's miscalculated with this one: he cannot destroy Yuuji's heart for it was never Yuuji's to keep. He gave it away a long time ago. It beats with other people's pulse.

[triglycercule]

horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is

probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

[wildsaltair]

who took care of Maximus after he was wounded after gladiator battles??? who tenderly washed his wounds and tended his bruises and kissed each one with the gentleness of a loved one??? who stood close enough to feel his heartbeat and his pulse and his breath??? who held his face in their hands and caressed him and embraced him and told him they loved him??? who did it if I couldn’t do it???

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[seaweedstarshine]

RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

[theladyfae]

i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶

[mad-hunts]

have i ever talked about how barton is genuinely jealous of people who seem happy because he feels so hollow a majority of the time that even when he's 'happy,' he's not really happy? because i just 😭 yeah...

[kawaiichibiart]

I can't find it (although chances are I never posted it :/), but to this day I think about the post where I share possibility of past akuma victims just, remembering everything. All of them remember.

All. Of. Them.

And, it just sets off this series of support systems.

Individual and group therapy is something that is set up for those who need it.

August's mom starts a forum after her son starts remembering his time as an akuma, and it leads to more parents speaking up about their children, very young children, having nightmares and needing to sleep with their parents or older siblings because their memories as an akuma is hitting them hard.

People who work call off in order to process what's going on.

School gets cancelled for a brief period (like maybe a week or two) of time, some students stay home for longer.

Friends support each other whenever the memories get too intense.

We see so much support and love between everyone who remembers and is remembering...

...but then we have Adrien.

Adrien who can't bring himself to look for support. Adrien who feels like he shouldn't get help.

Everyone who's been akumatized is remembering what they did, what happened, and people can back up what's happened with clear evidence (articles, blogs/vlogs, clips from past livestreams or news reports, etc.) but he doesn't have that.

Chat Blanc's timeline is gone and Ephemeral's was reversed. There is no existing evidence that he's been akumatized. No one remembers he was akumatized, except for Marinette.

Marinette, who's Ladybug.

Ladybug, who's kept things from him. His akumatization, the fact she must of planned on having him reveal his identity just to not tell him hers (and she must of planned on having Viperion in on it, too, which makes it worse).

The girl he no longer knows if he can trust.

He doesn't have anyone who can support him. He doesn't want to say anything in case people thing he's making it all up.

After all, can he prove Chat Noir got akumatized, killed everyone in Paris, maybe even France, split the moon in half and almost killed Ladybug again? Could he prove he was Ephemeral and helped his father win (and God, if that isn't just another peachy thing to find out)? That Ladybug lost her Miraculous because he couldn't break out of his father's control?

He's remembering killing the people he loves and finding his mother (fuck, his mom is under his house) and not being able to resist the akuma and the world ending and being alone surrounded by water and just the continuous thought of "I killed them...it's all my fault..."

He's alone, moreso than he normally is. He shows to school and photoshoots looking dead. He slowly stops talking to his friends, eventually stops showing up to school (Nathalie informing them that he's unwell, since that's what he told her) and eventually leaving Paris to find someone he can talk to because his memories won't leave him alone.

No one knows where he went. No one knows where Chat Noir went. Both of them just, vanished. No one knows why. They can't come up with a reason for him to run.

Nino thinks he's runaway after finally having had enough of how Gabriel treats him, and he took advantage of everyone remembering their akumatizations to leave.

Lila thinks he didn't run away and instead was shipped off to who knows where in case Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch sends out an akuma and he he can target past victims who have this new found guilt, she'd just hate it if she got turned back into Volpina or Chameleon and target him :(

Some people think Chat Noir is running away from his responsibilities. Some think he ran away to get real training, maybe an extra weapon in case he needs it.

Meanwhile, Marinette is having a crisis, because if everyone is remembering what happened while they were akumatized....but the time line got erased. Chat Noir couldn't possibly... he'd find a way to leave his Miraculous with her, right? Maybe he wanted to prove he could still be a reliable hero? Maybe she's looking too deep into it (look deeper, honey, you hit the nail on the head, keep hitting it and be a better partner).

I honestly don't know where Adrien would go, part of me wants to say London, because if he could vent to anyone who might possibly believe him, it could be to Felix. Part of me wants him to literally still be in Paris/France, just with a new found ability to wield shadows and be able to hide in them without being noticed. And yet another part of me wants him to run to an entire different continent and leave everything behind.

Just, it's one of the worst ways he can find out what secrets are/were kept from him, and he's not able to say anything because:

He can't know anybody's secret ID, despite it being important he does in case he has to get help on the off chance Ladybug can't (she's captured, she's affected by the akuma's powers, etc.). Look what happened when he found out who Ladybug was. Death on the one hand and his father winning on the other.

Ladybug likely had to go through so much in order to defeat Chat Blanc, why would she want to hear his POV about it? The damage was reversed. He should be happy everyone is still alive alive again after he killed them.

Ladybug is the Guardian, of course she had to know his secret identity. Right? Maybe if she didn't hand out the miraculous, Fu would have and he'd know everyone's secret ID. But she's the Guardian now, so it has to be important for her to know who holds what Miraculous.

He should have known his father was the villain this whole time. Wow, you lived with the villain and didn't suspect him at all? You could have saved time by taking them time to look further into things, but no.

He got akumatized twice and the second time he just handed his miraculous over. It doesn't matter that he wasn't in control, maybe this is a sign he doesn't deserve a miraculous, let alone one of the two most powerful.

[haru-chi]

Manga spoilers ahead

It just hit me now, is the manga taking a break for 3 weeks on purpose to be a poetic timing with the anime episode at the time, or is it pure coincidence ???

By three weeks from now in anime :

1st week we have Himmel and the sword of hero

2nd week Sein first appearance

3rd week we have the mirrored lotus story !!!! I repeat the mirrored lotus story!!!!

in the same week or the week after we'd have the upcoming manga chapter !!

so, you wanna tell me, we're gonna see Himmel's indirect confession of love to Frieren followed by Himmel realizing the impossibility of his dream of marrying Frieren yet again in whatever tragic and evil way the author had in store for us next chapter .. all at the same time or back-to-back !!!!

STOP BULLYING MY HIMMEL LIKE THAT !!! WHATEVER DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS HELL !!!!! AUTHOR-SAN !!!!

are they torturing Himmel or are they torturing us ?? they're doing this on purpose, aren't they ?? or is this just our destiny to bear ??

I'm not okay at all ><

[waterlogged-detective]

i wanna write lore about my characters but i am in the eternal struggle of how do i start

[crossbackpoke-check]

Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

[soullessjack]

god I’m. thinking and jack and Kelly and 13x01 again. how the only memory and feeling jack has attached to Kelly is the loss of her. a still face that’s shrouded in cabin curtains and burnt on a pyre in front of him before he’s even a day old. how he was part of her but still never really got to know her but he still loved her in a way. how, when he’s curled up behind the dumpster and flashing back to her saying “you’re gonna be amazing,” the script reads that he wants to believe her. he wants to make her death, her sacrifice, worth it.

thinking about how in moriah jack tells cas that he used to hate himself for killing Kelly, and then in Byzantium, when Kelly’s cradling his face and they’re both just staring each other and finally meeting each other, he has this look of pure love and sadness because he’s literally looking at this woman that he thinks he murdered by existing. thinking about how, after killing Mary and blindly following heaven’s orders and accepting his doomed fate from birth that he is a monster who has to die for the good of the world. He failed. He couldn’t be what Kelly wanted, what Kelly had so much faith in. he’s so far from everything she thought he would be and she died for nothing and he killed her and there’s nothing to be done about it because he is and always has been a monster, born to destroy and kill and hurt.

how he wanted so badly to know her and be like her, how during his visit to his grandparents in 14x01 Kelly’s mother says he looks like her and he’s just. So happy to know that. And how he looks at his grandparents when they open the door to him and how he says “I know” when Kelly’s dad says his name is also Jack. This is his family, his actual blood family, this is literally the man he was named for. And he can’t tell them anything and they never know. And then in moriah when he visits them again asking to talk about Kelly while still in a complete mental spiral over Sam and Dean’s rejection because he just wants a family to be part of.

And of course the parallel between his guilt for kelly and his guilt for mary. Like look at this guy, he loves his mom so much, he’s named after her father, he looks like her, he wants to be like her so bad but all he will ever know about her is loss and how much not like her. How much of a a father’s monster he ended up being.

i’m gonna fucking throw up why is this show so mean to him