#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOURE THE CRINGEFAIL LOSER

[kiyomitakada]

evidence for sayu liking girls by the way:

1) chapter 28 (before misa shows up! light is lying to them that he has a girlfriend to explain away the time he spends at the task force headquarters)

2) chapter 31 (after misa shows up)

[twicearoundthebend]

Imagine going on a cross country trip to share the (mildly embarrassing) news with an adjacent king that your guards lost a prisoner, but when you get there- there’s actually a huge crowd of people who all get called into a massive Super Important Meeting. And the prisoner (who you thought wasn’t like That Big of a deal) gets brought up, and everyone’s talking about how great your kingdoms security is, and how important it is that he’s locked up, and you’re just sitting there sweating buckets. And you have to stand up in front of Everybody and tell them ‘actually he escaped and had been gone for months’. While everyone looks at you with the most disappointed faces you’ve ever seen. What a loser.

And Then you have to go on an even Longer trip with all of these people who’s first impression of you was some cringefail sweaty loser who can’t even keep track of one (1) guy.

No wonder Legolas was showing off every chance he got, he was trying to bring his reputation up from like -100

[yayll]

The jealous Dazqi post was so cute and funny and the callbacks to his past self were fun and now i can’t stop thinking about cringefail teen Dazai with the biggest, fattest crush ever and not knowing how to deal with it

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MADE ME LAUGH ANON I ADORE YOU FOR THE VISUAL.

cringefail teen Dazai so obsessed to the point where he is literally pointing a gun at the other recruit who's at least 10 years older than him because he complimented you on how your so mature for your age when it comes to leadership skills. (it's both an insult that he would perceive you in that way and also.... why the fuck is he talking to you at all?) he has to use his authority to further his cruelty.

Dazai does the most unhinged things behind your back, especially. it gets soooo dire that sometimes he has to recruit CHUUYA for intimidation purposes. Dazai thinks of himself as intimidating enough but thinks having the 5'3 gravity user pointing thousands of bullets at any person who made you laugh or smile or cry will add that pizzazz he's looking for. Chuuya smacks him upside the head after and remarks that you'd never go for him anyway.

one time, he begged Mori to let him 'supervise' your mission as executive, and it really just ended up with you doing your job and him standing by any large body of water contemplating if he should kill himself because he doesn't like what he's feeling for you. and if perhaps you don't feel the same? even more reason to wipe himself off this earth. but then you smile at him... and sometimes even give him a high five for a job well done..... and let's just say that was the first time he discovered alcohol. and alcohol poisoning soon after.

one time he saw you writing in your diary, and that very night is driven to insanity in your quarters searching for it, looking for any mention of him in it like a little rabid gremlin. you catch him in the act too, and he simply flings it onto your bed and crosses his arms in complete denial that he's hopelessly smitten with you.

"Dazai? what're you doing here? is that my diary?!"

"HUH? i'm not reading it, i'm literally not!"

"then what are you doing with it, huh?

and he just flashes you those hopeless loser ass puppy eyes when he realizes the jig is up.

"... do you like me or what?"

and you're just like.....

"of course i do, idiot."

like damn took him long enough. you kiss him on the cheek and he's like.... oh wow could it be i'm not delusional? but he can't even HANDLE YOUR DIRECT CONFESSION so he just self destructs and snorts like the immature little shit he is rolling his eyes and whatnot as he storms out of your room.

"yeah, well OF COURSE YOU DO. I KNEW THAT ALREADY."

then he giggles and prances alllll the way back to the shipping container oopsies.

[userautumn]

Hey! :) I just saw your new FAQ. What aspects of bucktommy do you enjoy? :)

Hello! I'm going to assume this question is asked in good faith, mainly because I wanna talk about them !! 😗✌🏾

I like that Buck heard Tommy make fake mouth static at the fire chief and immediately wanted to be barefoot and pregnant by this man. Peak comedy. Man is so cringefail loser that he made Buck discover a whole new sexuality. Who will love me like this, says the bisexual who is already aware she is bisexual. Okay moving on

Tommy's little head tilt on the basketball court. Not specifically a BuckTommy thing but something I am wildly into nonetheless.

I like that Tommy came over to talk to Buck about what went down with Eddie. Once you get past the "how the fuck did he even know where he lives?" of it all, because details don't matter when you have a 40 minute network TV slot, I just really like that Tommy didn't just recognize there was a problem, or didn't just recognize his own role in the problem between Buck and Eddie. He actually took time and initiative to try and fix it. He didn't have to do that. He could have looked at Buck and said, "Wow this grown man has issues. He needs to work on that" and just carried on with what he was doing. He would have been well within his right to do that, actually. But he went over to Buck's with the intention of clearing the air and that was very kind and mature of him.

I like that Tommy is very separately friends with Eddie, which isn't a BuckTommy thing exactly. But I remember years ago, when we (fandom) would talk about Buck and Eddie's current partners at the time (Ana and Taylor), we would always say, "whoever they end up with needs to be okay with Buck and Eddie's weirdness for each other, otherwise it's not gonna work." And, like, as far as we've seen so far, Tommy is okay with it. When he went over to Buck's, he mentioned Christopher specifically, mentioned (in so many words) that he's not trying to disrupt their family unit, and that's all I could really ask for out a non-Eddie/non-Buck partner. That checks all my boxes, if we're honest because that family unit is, quite literally, everything to me.

Tommy wants to teach Buck. He wants to give him flying lessons and teach him Muay Thai. Sorry I love a man who gives patient, and occasionally horny, instruction. As if that's my fault.

Tommy's fingers on Buck's chin when he kisses him. Swooning just thinking about it. 🙂‍↕️

I like that Tommy left Buck on the curb. Now, I know this was VERY controversial for some people. But, like, Buck is not a five year old. He didn't die, and his actions had a consequence. Everyone was like "he should have told him he was leaving him!" But. Okay. When did he have time? They got the check -> Eddie showed up -> Eddie left -> Buck and Tommy got up to leave -> Tommy said he was leaving. By MY approximation, that is the only quiet moment they had for him to say that he was making his exit. But! I could be wrong! Either way! 💕 I like that he wasn't mean about it. He knows his worth enough to not put up with bullshit, unlike Taylor, for example, who stayed with Buck even after he kissed someone else and I think someone who knows their worth and who's going to clock him on his shit is something Buck is going to appreciate in a partner.

I like that Tommy showed up to the coffee date. I like that Buck asked him to show up to the coffee date. I love that being with Tommy inspires Buck to take action in his own relationships instead of just settling. 9-1-1 really clocked his (and Maddie's) tea when they called them "the fugitive and the settler." Buck settles into these relationships, without really considering whether or not it's what he wants, because he's scared of being alone. That's always been his problem. But he wants Tommy, wants him to the point of taking action in order to have him, and that's 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 That's the money shot, baby !!

I really, really, really like that Tommy promised Buck he'd be there for the wedding and then tried everything in his power to show up. And did show up. It's my favorite BuckTommy thing. Buck needs someone outside of his codependent family clusterfuck (affectionate) to show up for him, and no one before Tommy ever has. Abby relied on him emotionally so heavily, Ali was more of his emotional equal but was unable to handle his job. Taylor was... Taylor, and Natalia was mostly interested in his death. So Buck hasn't really had a partner who has actively prioritized him before and so far, Tommy seems to. I really like that.

"EvAn," said in all Tommy's many, gently exasperated and/or deeply adoring tones

My second favorite BuckTommy thing is how earnest and attentive Tommy is to Buck's emotional needs. Which circles back to the first bullet point I made, because it's such a consistent theme with them. But when Bobby was hurt, Buck was ready and willing to brush off how he was feeling about that experience. This makes sense because, looking at his other partners, Buck has very rarely had the emotional space to lay his burdens at their feet. But Tommy clocked his angst and hit him first with that look, that said he was reading him, assessing him, and then hit him again with the "you okay?" and allowed Buck to say as much or as little as he wanted. I really like that, that's beautiful to me.

Canon Daddy kink. Sorry, it has to be said. Of all the ships I've had where I've looked at one guy (gn), and looked at the other guy (gn), and been like "oh yeah, y'all definitely get into some freak shit," never in my LIFE has it been made canon. The sun is shining, the world is a beautiful place, etc etc

So yeah, those are a few of my favorite BuckTommy things! They're fun, they're my new favorite toy, and I love them. Hope this helps!

[bonefall]

I know you don’t rewrite arcs until they’re done, but I love hearing about your early ideas while I brood over how badly this arc has let me down. Do you have any like super vague ideas about Splashtail’s motivations yet? He’s like a way worse Hawkfrost in my mind, because they’re both very young cats who Are Just Evil. But Hawkfrost had a genuinely interesting backstory that the Erin’s simply fumbled, meanwhile Splashtail is a cartoonishly evil atheist. I feel nothing towards him, he’s not intimidating or interesting or even funny. Save me Bonefall save me (if I got something wrong please ignore it, these books are so disappointing my brain is making me forget them to protect itself.)

If it helps at all, I'm staying sane with the observation that Hawkfrost is a high charisma character making critical failure rolls, while Splashtail is a cringefail loser with no stats rolling nat20s. He becomes 50% more sufferable when you imagine a long, pungent pause after anything he says, broken only by the sound of an offscreen player tossing some dice. When the silence is broken, it's whatever NPC has been charmed speaking in the beleaguered voice of the dungeon master.

SO my early thoughts are shaping up to be that I'd like to do a slightly more serious version of that.

BB!Splashtail is the Clan equivalent of a 19-year-old, desperate for more power and respect in his society. In terms of his stats, he's promising but not outstanding. A decent fighter, a competent leader. Even in terms of lineage; his father is Sneezecloud, a respected trader and negotiator, but his mother is Havenpelt. An ex-rogue who has sworn to live by the ways of RiverClan.

Curlfeather is the one with the plans. She's the one with vision. Daughter of Reedwhisker, grandchild of Mistystar, with grand leaders like Bluestar, Oakheart, and Crookedstar in her past, greatness runs in her blood. Scandal, too-- but for some reason it's acceptable that her great-grandparents were codebreaking traitors.

Splashtail hates Curlfeather, but he can't get anywhere unless he tries to be her. He steals HER plans. He acts like SHE does. Manages to snatch power from her paws, and then has no idea what to do with it.

I'm thinking that I want his reign to be going smoothly at first, actually, going from a bit of a bossy jerk, to trying to enact Curlfeather's ambitions by launching fights and doing it badly, to active tyranny as he tries to keep control over RiverClan. Depending on how Star goes, I might have Berryheart make some kind of move to seize power over him.

At the core of how I see him though, is that Splashtail has no plan. His ideology leans Thistle Law... in a sort of dumbass 4Channer kind of way. He talks a big game about the glory of battle, but folds fast when his enemy can punch back. The only person he could successfully manipulate was a traumatized child. He will bring back pureblooded glory to the Clan, except his personal family of course

As for the Evil Atheism stuff... lol. Lmao, even. Not needed. If I need to make him a more powerful and serious danger, it's not going to come from the fact he's godless. If being an atheist gave you super murder powers, Bill Nye would have used them to obliterate half of the US government by now.

Depending on how the last book of ASC goes,

The Harelight kill is probably going to get changed to Hallowflight. Harelight watches his dad die, and Splashstar is drenched in the blood of one of RiverClan's most famous heroes. No turning back after that.

On that note I'd also make the fight longer and bloodier. A butchery of an execution showcasing Splashtail fighting like a beast and Hallowflight like a trained warrior.

I REAALLY want to make Splashtail's death a drowning. Curlfeather, demon she is now, finishes him off by dragging him under. To protect her daughter. They will have to do something VERY satisfying for me to not do this.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[beanghostprincess]

Absolutely wild but I am obsessed with crack ships, specifically Buggy ones.

Like.

Franky and Buggy. Blue haired boyfriends. Luffy finds out his shipwright slept with THE CLOWN. his dad's EX?? I mean he likes Buggy well enough, sure, they Bonded in prison and Lu actually looks forward to the yearly fight to the death with his uncle, it's fun.

But FRANKY, WHY??? WHERE ARE YOUR STANDARDS???

"He's SUPERRRR."

"Oh okay, understandable."

<><><><>

Shanks, drunk and missing his ex: I just miss him so much, ya know?? Sometimes... sometimes I can still smell his perfume....

Benn, completely dead faced: oh yeah no that's me. He and I spent a lovely night together.

Shanks: >:0

Benn: you weren't lying about that mouth of his-

Shanks: WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME???

Benn: pretty boy knew what he wanted, man, what do you want from me-?

<><><><>

Buggy: oh I almost got bingo!

Alvida: what are you talking about

Buggy: this guard at Impel Down had this bingo card, so I took the idea and made it my own!

Alvida: .... this is a list of people to sleep with.

Buggy: Yeah! :oD

Alvida: ..... how did you manage so many of these without ever getting five in a row??

Buggy: skillz

Al: you're just a whore

Buggy: why would you @ me like that??? Rude!!!

<><><><>

Crocodile: the clown left his bingo card...

Mihawk: oh?

Croc: you know that if he slept with one of us, it would have given him three spaces?

Hawk: of course. I have been dropping subtle hints since the beginning.

Croc: you like his cringefail charm too?

Mihawk: my standards are abysmal. You know this.

Croc: .... yeah. Mine too. So we're seducing him?

Mihawk: of course we are.

<><><><>

Buggy: I think they're planning to kill me-

So what I'm hearing here is that Buggy is a slut and I absolutely love him. As he should, tbh. His failguy personality and loser clown energy with trauma and uncertain mood swings captivates all pirates.

[fluttervee]

There once was a ship in limbo, of elven and draconic combine, but an anon so, heart full of woe, begs for headcanons that you can find. (inkblade crumbs? please?)

well, darling nonny, i have no idea why you have come to me for your crumbs but i will do what i can for you on this last day before we are well and truly jossed.

under a cut because i am completely deranged, this got so long lmao

sorry but I have to talk about this. dragonboy's death was hilarious actually. he was sooo confused about tbk killing his grandma. Were those dragons conjured/summoned/whatever and unrelated to him?? Or did he just not think about the implications of the bad kids showing up to the final confrontation?? What An Idiot. ok now crumb time i swear

I keep coming back to the fact that oisín didn't start missing at beer pong until after he spoke to adaine. obviously this takes on a WILDLY different cast post ep 17, but it's still so interesting to me. like, was he mad about her not remembering him?? that she didn't take his (definitely cursed) diamonds?? WHAT MADE YOU PLANT THE BOOBYTRAP BOY??

obsessed with the concept of oisín and ivy as cringefail loser meangirls. bitchy as hell, down in the first round of combat. icon behavior. they and aelwyn will get on like a house on fire

i like to think that oisín getting buff was part of some ragestar devil's bargain and not just a growth spurt. it would be soo funny if he sold his soul to Get Hot but actually adaine wouldn't care anyway. She just didn't notice you because you didn't talk to her, LOSER.

he would have to a) devour humble pie and b) Get Good, but I Still Believe In Canon Inkblade 🛸

i just love the idea of a bitchy wizard couple. Me and my girlfriend saw you from across the bar and we hate your vibe. we think your incantations suck.

I hope he saw her One Punch that dragon. I hope he was Scared and Horny

wait... sub oisín? Brat Oisín??? Ohhhh, now we're cooking

i like to think he was so caught up in his (her) Sick Burn that he didn't even CONSIDER how throwing that oracle line back at her would make her feel. i want him to lose his mind when he realizes. i want to him to beg her for forgiveness. grovel, even.

speaking of, have we decided how he knew that line to begin with?? someone floated the idea of adaine repeating it ad nauseum and i think that's so funny. Catty dragonborn hears elf girl make a sick burn one time, falls in love, decides to make it everyone else's problem

REMEMBER: if we don't have canon we'll always have fanfic. i will dip my toe into d20 fic for this with you, anon. hold my hand as we jump into the abyss

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT COLD TAKE TOURNAMENT!

Submission 644 & 746 (64.1% validated)

buggy isn't hot

he’s just not. look at him. yeah yeah he’s got tits and a detachable dick but he’s so cringe and fail. i would not fuck him personally.

buggy the clown is not fucking hot

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN. HAVE YOU LAID EYES ON HIM. i’m extremely homosexual for men and yet i have not even an inch of attraction to this little blue haired and pronouned bastard. yes he has three boyfriends but if you see me as one of them shoot me, that’s an evil clone, i would never willingly put my penis inside of buggothy theodore clownsworth.

Submission 515 (63.7% validated)

if you must ship Jesus with one of his disciples then at least ship him with John

look I'm a Christian (but like not the bad kind) and I don't personally ship Jesus with anyone cause that feels a bit too much rpf-y for me but I see people (jokingly, I assume, for the most part, but also this is the internet so I know some people are very serious about this) ship Jesus with either Judas or Peter and like....... tell me your knowledge of the Bible is the few Bible stories you remembered from sunday school as a kid without telling me that your knowledge of the Bible is the few Bible stories you remembered from sunday school as a kid. like yeah sure there's all these great stories about these guys that kids learn about! everyone who has some basic knowledge of the whole easter deal knows Judas and if you've learned any stories about Jesus with the disciples then you probably know about Peter. but like........ John is the guy. like go read the book of John if you don't believe me. like this is the guy who is canonically (fun reminder that the term "canon" originates from people discussing the Bible long long ago) "the disciple who Jesus loved." like Sufjan Stevens, king of "is he talking about his boyfriend or Jesus" refers to John & Jesus' relationships in his song "John My Beloved" which is hella gay and like it's all right there!!!!!! like this is so strange for me to be invested in because I'm not like someone who actively ships them but like if I wasn't religious and all I would be all over this and the fact that people keep being like "hehe Jesus and Judas~~~" when there's like no textual evidence for that!!! it's just people seeing the kiss of betrayal and liking some dramatic stuff!!! and the people who bring up Peter instead are the same!!! like you're just applying fanfic tropes to a dynamic and deciding that you like it instead of like looking at what's actually there in canon!!!!!!!! like at least do cool blasphemy or whatever I hate that I care about this. I hate that I wrote all of this. I have no dog in this fight. whoever wins I lose because I don't want to care about this in any way but I do and it's horrible and I just wish people would at least talk about the guy who when having to read his gospel like a year ago for something, I was left with the thought of "huh....... if I didn't know any better I'd say that there was something going on here"

Propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[anjelicawrites]

Cringefail Throuple 💡

Professor Michael Gavey is the biggest mystery at Oxford. Nevermind the rumors of ghosts or secret societies. Everyone, regardless of what they’re reading, wants to know what the fuck is going on with him.

It all started when two of his students saw him walking towards a car that a beautiful woman was just getting out of. The students thought they were about to see him getting rejected HARD, but then as he and the woman meet at the boot of the car, they kiss! Very passionately and sloppily!

One of the students whips out his phone and takes a picture on instinct, later posting it on the Oxford subreddit with the comment “this has to be a hooker, right?” Why else would a woman like that kiss a guy as brusque, rude, and just plain weird as Professor Gavey?

But then, only two days later, another student posts pictures they took that zoom in on the matching rings the professor and the woman wear. They’re fucking married! The subreddit goes wild.

The true conspiracies don’t start until some students see the woman (“Mrs. Gavey, I guess?”) at their favourite local pub, brazenly flirting with the owner as he tends bar. They sneak a photo and post it on the subreddit, and all of a sudden all of Oxford is up in arms that their least favourite maths professor’s wife is cheating on him.

Until later that week, another student posts a photo of both Mrs. Gavey and the professor BOTH flirting with the pub owner, who seems to reciprocate!

The mods of the Oxford subreddit make a new subreddit specifically for the Professor Gavey conspiracies after that.

The theories range from the denials (“there’s no way Gavey got not one, but TWO people to like him!”) to the correct (“it’s def a throuple”) to the actually insane (“Gavey is a pimp in his spare time and he’s just checking out his hos”).

Michael, Reader, and Billy are well aware of this, and enjoy looking through the subreddit when they’ve had a few pints. Billy even has a burner account where he posts his own, obviously incorrect, theories. He’s now known as the “secret agent truther” among the small but passionate community.

Reader doesn’t really care at all. She thinks it’s kinda funny, actually.

Michael was a bit pissed at first, but then he realized that the intrigue was leading to more students taking his classes, and after that, some even switched their course to maths. Now he’s all for encouraging it. After all, the more students take his class, the more bonuses he gets, and the more he can spoils his cringefail lovers.

Local cryptid math professor Michael Gavey, who is the strictest, the biggest asshole in the whole university, who dresses like a loser grandpa, who revels in failing his students and making them feel stupid. And no one knows a single thing about him. The Oxford subreddit is full of his students, and ex students, whining and bitching about him; the stolen photo is a bomb, it becomes the hive of the conversation. The barrage of new pics are all people are talking about, and that's when you three get a whiff of what is going on.

You can't stop laughing: they all hate Michael, yet they're inflamed because of your supposed 'cheating' with Billy. Michael is not as happy, they call you all variations of "slut" under the sun and who takes pictures of strangers kissing?

"You know we can drive them even madder, by feeding them false information? Muddle the waters, so to say" Billy says after the photo of you three flirting makes its way into the subreddit.

You can see the mischievous spark in Michael's eyes.

"They're going to make fools of themselves. That's what they deserve for snooping and insulting you." He says menacingly.

And so it starts, the barrage of false, bordering to absurd, opinions, flood the 'Michael Gavey conspiracies' subreddit, raging from "Maybe they're just friends" to "The guy from the pub is their bull", to "No, the professor is the bull." to "Gavey is in a secret society, those two are just members!" to "They're in for the sex. Why do you think Professor Gavey dresses that way? He's hiding his monster dong in there!". Some people believe in the "Throuple theory", others are hell bent in proving that the kiss in the first photo never happened, it was just the terrible angle; they are not kissing, it's fake news!!! Others are all in for the "Professor Gavey is the head of a sex cult", whilst a small fractions wonders why he's always such in a terrible mood, with two hot people by his side, perhaps the sex is awful?

Some of those theories are carried on by Billy's various burner accounts; he randomly logs in and trolls the subreddit, while you three are relaxing for the night, telly on and feet on the coffee table. He plops himself next to you and Michael, wondering which account he should use for the night ("I haven't logged in the 'Gavey is a pimp' one in a while, but the fake news redditors are rabid tonight!").

You find the whole situation hilarious and ask Billy updates on the guy who calls you a 'slut', but is hell bent in using the more obscure and ancient slang he can find, "Jezabel" is a great classic, but "Cockatrice", "Wish-wife" and "Mignote" are in your personal top 10. You three are still debating about "Half-virgin", does it mean the person uses one of their holes and the others are still untouched?

Michael, who's discovered the joys of trolling people, drops extremely vague hints during his lectures and checks the subreddit to see how the people there react; he's even managed to recognize a couple of his current students and a batch of people from the previous years (one is a PhD candidate and Michael is working him like a donkey for the unflattering comments he left).

Ever since the first photo dropped, there had been a spike of enrollment in his courses, which gives him the chance to terrorize and scar for life a bigger chunk of rich assholes who got admitted thanks to their family's wealth. The fact that he gets bonuses is the cherry on top, you two need all the pampering he can provide!

Cringefail throuple taglist: @fan-goddess

[mushr0oms-and-m0ss]

Tell me abt your OCS?

OH BOY GLADLY they're all dnd but that's fiiiine

(I hope you don't mind if I go completely off)

This is Katie, she's my main d&d character rn and she is a ranger halfling literally from the Shire, how she ended up in the Forgotten Realms is beyond me--

She has three younger siblings which she ended up taking care of almost all of the time in her Shire days because her parents were never around to, working in the fields and whatnot. Also they were just neglectful towards her.

She ran away at 18 (halfling years) but never truly recovered from her childhood, unfortunately reminds herself of her father and hates that.

Anyways she's a cringefail loser flirt I love her

Ohgodthatsold THIS IS ARATHA‼️ She grew up purely to become a personal knight to this noble family that her own family had dedicated their life to protecting for generations, and she had this awesome friendship with the princess of that family. When she was 26-28 however, they got ambushed just a few days before the princess' coronation, and the princess died.

Thus, she was cast out of the kingdom, and now wanders as a paladin dedicated to helping those who can't help themselves. She's the motherly type and quick to comfort others (but still can't forgive herself after all these years).

This is Rayane, she's a tiefling who's been through so much like oh my god.

Her father died at a young age, so it was just her and her mother for a long time. Since her dad was a wizard, Rayane found his old spellbook hidden away, and as it turns out, she has a lot of magic in her blood!

And then it essentially goes like, "Mommy, mommy, look what I found! *sets house on fire w/ magic* *mother gets trapped under furniture trying to escape*"

Anyways, she escapes by herself and wanders for a bit, but then gets found by a temple. They see her and go, "Yeah, we're gonna make you holy, you tiefling." Commence brutal stuff, including cutting/burning off horns & plenty of forced praying/sacrificing animals.

Eventually, after roughly three years she escapes after overhearing the temple leader talk about sacrificing her soon. And now she's homeless and and orphan. Yippeee

Why do I always make my youngest characters go through the most RAHH‼️‼️‼️‼️

[rindragon-from-twewy]

Lol ok so I've had the mdarc dlcs for a while but I've only just now found the time/motivation to play them. I binged them all in one go and ig I just wanna talk about my opinions on each one a bit (I have nobody irl to talk to about it so I figured posting is a good enough substitute lol) It's a long read tho so buckle up!

Spoilers for all of them below the cut. And feel free to comment/rebog with your own opinions too cuz I wanna hear now that I know the full context for them all!!! <3

Desuhiko's; Someone take this man to rehab for recovering cringefails, he needs help. While I love him, having him in the protag position honestly made my skin crawl a little. He's built to only be a funny side character imo. Enyne's obviously a lesbian and also my girlfriend now I'll have you know- that's why she rejected the proposal cuz she's already married to meeeee! /j ... But also I'm just a sucker for the detective x thief trope and for that reason I can't pretend that Desuhiko was completely dumb for proposing like that- you'll find a girl (or guy) who's into cringefail losers eventually my dude. Honestly if I had to change one thing about it (besides the constant second hand embarrassment enducing dialog-) would've been cool to see him interacting with the phantom thief before his elaborate plan to catch them started. But that could just be my oumasai brainrot talking.

Fubuki's; BABY GIRL BABBYYYYY!!!! Why didn't she get much focus??? Halara and Desuhiko did basically everything- they stole her spotlight :(! She totally could've figured it all out on her own if she'd found the dice herself, I'm sure!!! She didn't need anyone reminding her of her own powers nor did she need Desuhiko to accompany her to see the fortune teller! She's not an idiot, the others just don't give her a proper chance to prove it! It was an interesting mystery though. I loved seeing the trio interacting more without Yuma around. I'm guessing all bar the Yakou dlcs take place before Yuma's arrival? Slay. Also, also the fact that she took an interest in card games afterwards??? And she's so good at them that she doesn't need her forte to win?! She's so precious! I need to give her a hug! TwT

Halara's; This case what honestly easier to solve then chapter 3's but also... damn I can't believe Halara kicked Kinger from The Amazing Digital Circus in the face like that. I can't tell if he was referring to Halara or his fiance when he said "I can kill the woman anytime" but I feel like Halara kicked him extra hard for misgendering and/or demeaning his own fiance like that, depending on which it actually was. Either way it was hot as fuck. (Yeah I've been a Halara simp this whole time, now that's a lore reveal!) I loved how Halara agreed to the job even thought they knew they couldn't accept the "we can keep a cat here" payment- it means that Yakou probably found out about their affections towards cats before Yuma did! That's cute- to think they think they're so on the down low about it but it's just so obvious! I wish the culprit wasn't so obvious but oh well- these cases aren't meant to be difficult after all!

Vivia's: EMOOOOOOOOOO!!!! SEND HIM TO EMO JAIIIILLLLL!!!! DERPESSED EMOOOOOO BASTAAAAAARD!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3 Still though- this doesn't change my mind about being neutral about the Vivia/Yakou ship. I tolerate it, live in harmony with it... I just don't see their dynamic as inherently romantic? But I get where the shippers are coming from now at the very least. I could maybe see them as queer-platonic? But that's all besides the point ig... Ryo's also much sweeter then I thought she'd be. It's interesting to think that Vivia can always see and hear ghosts. Creates a sort of chicken and egg situation. What came first? His Spectral Projection or his ability to see ghosts. Kinda reminds me of this British drama series called Ghosts - the protag has a near death experience and can see the ghosts haunting her house from then on - so I wonder if something similar happened to Vivia to trigger all this in him. Still... nice to hear a character saying that they rely on protagonists of stories they like to get enjoyment. I think a lot of people can relate to that... :>

Yakou's: ... :,( ... Why would you do that to me? Why??? It was so sad!!! Also they just photoshopped his sprite to have a green coat and no glasses that's so funny to me- Also also his wife's thiccc- 10/10 would also murder for her also tbh. Ok but in all seriousness- why couldn't they name drop her??? I feel so awkward having to give her a made up name in my own au cuz it's like what if they do eventually drop it in the future??? Like come on people, most of the other dlcs had named characters (minus Fubuki's)!!! I adore how Yakou's flashbacks were for other dlcs tho- like that's so fucking adorable. Someone really aught to move the zombies to better living conditions though- like I'm sure they could find somewhere that isn't dilapidated so they could be more comfortable. The zombies obviously have some level of consciousness remaining and I'm sure they'd all appreciate it :(!

[yukimomodivorce]

Top 5 Yuki idolish7 cringe moments for the compilation

ouugh there are so many. my cringefail loser

1: the whole black pepper scene in the balcony episode is the most iconic yuki cringe moment to me. what is he going on about. he has no idea but thinks he sounds so fucking cool. "I sent 30 tough guys like you to the hospital" you have never even slightly injured someone in a fight in your life and it is not for lack of trying

2: more of a trait than a moment but his fucking. poetry that he texts to banri. I want examples so badly I bet they're awful

3: getting into a fight with momo and immediately texting every single person in his contacts saying 'hi can you go tell him that I'm right and to please not break up with me'

4: practicing his apology for that same fight to a fire extinguisher (and not even apologising until the next day)

5: complete failure to flirt with with momo early on after they meet. he just stares at him and then goes 'banri why won't momo talk to me :('

[gringolet]

would you mind sharing ur thoughts about agravaine and lamorak. please. i need to know

god the idea of shipping them (i know its odd to use that term for medieval literature characters but lets be real im not better than some weeb just bc my fandom thoughts are channeled into manuscripts) emerged from a joke discussion on a (i believe now defunct?) arthuriana discord server so what the original justification for it was i don't know but it's so cemented in my brain that it makes sense to me. the thing is conceptually it's really funny but its also quite fucked up and weird and sad, which is like the sweet spot to me

i think both characters occupy an interesting place in the like social makeup of camelot; lamorak is a successful knight and well liked but he doesn't seem especially popular, if that makes sense? like in the morte he's alone usually, or hanging out with tristan and his coterie. he also seems to be kind of a loud asshole. theres a bit in the morte where morgan sends this maguffin that reveals affairs to camelot via him, and, as a joke, he redirects it to tintagel to fuck over tristan instead. which is a kind of intense prank to play on your friend who is having an affair with the queen but okay man.

who else is kind of an asshole with no friends? thats right, agravaine (sorry agravaine). joking aside tho per the vulgate agravaine is also kind of abrasive and rude but in a witty, funny way (one of the only good traits it grants him is a quote quick tongue) . i feel like they would sit in the corner at feasts talking shit about people. also theyre both second sons w shitty ass dads, but lamorak actually does what agravaine never could and outstrips his older brother in terms of fame and accomplishment. the foils of it all. i think they can snipe at each other and lamorak is like haha fun playful flirtacious banter w my buddy agravaine and agravaine is like my fucking mortal enemy lamorak has insulted me yet again i need to strangle him to death (sexual)

it kind of fits that shitty loser vibe for lamorak to then sleep with his mom (im so sorry to say this but. eve sedgwick triangulation of desire).

what a strange, darkly funny, cringefail loserboy little doomed romance for agravaine. does that not fit his whole deal? i think agravaine deserves a boyfriend, but like, not a good one you know.

also the morte at one point deliberately parallels lamorak and lancelot and im sure you are aware with my theories vis a vis agravaines weird obsessive hate-crush on lancelot

[bonefall]

Dapple/Graykin drama with Dark as the most controversial center is actually everything to me. Darkstripe taking Graykit and running to save him during the plague. Growing more distant from his family and then leaving them. Helping participate in what Tigerclan did to Storm and Feather (his brothers kids!!!!) and also existing in the Dark Forest at the same time as Blossom (another Gray kid.

The Blossom thing actually really gets me because they were both kind of taken of advantage of for their insecurities. I'm not sure if Dark is self aware enough to connect the dots and see the way he was also kinda taken advantage of, especially since I kinda get the vibe he would avoid Blossom

I wonder if he was her Dark Forest mentor? Weird little dude

If Tigerstar even thought about assigning Darkstripe as Blossomfall's mentor it would make him miserable. Blossomfall is such a Mean Girl she would rip him to shreds lmao

That's before Dark feels like he has the freedom to act on his real talent as a chef, remember. He only begins to explore it once the alpha baboons have choked on the poison garbage (double died in their stupid BOTTE), so at this point he's just a middling lackey with a cringefail history

"You're my uncle?? Wow, that's embarassing."

"Dad talks about you. Yeah he says you were a loser. Said you attacked the wrong side in the battle against BloodClan-- OMG no way that was on purpose?! LMAOO" "did he mention how i saved him as a kit?" "Who cares?"

"Uhm what can he teach me exactly? He couldn't even kill a baby lol."

"You hate your halfsiblings Stormfur and Feathertail, well, I had orders to kill them!" "Mmmmm butcha didn't. Did you think this would make you look good."

"Isn't your name still like, technically Belladonnaheart?"

So while it would be VERY funny, it would definitely not last long. Blossomfall is a ruthless trainee. She wouldn't tolerate being the apprentice of someone so weak for that long.

I can see her starting with Darkstripe and then being given to Thistleclaw tbh.

[nopanamaman]

I was scrolling through your pafl tag after the brainrot brick cracked me in the back of the head last night, and after seeing the post where you talked about worrying people would accuse Yura of being being ooc in the prequel comic, I was honestly kind of taken aback?

Like-- part of Yura's appeal is that he's a total cringefail loser. Just an utterly pathetic wet rag of a man. He just has that aura that makes you want to kick his shit in. For every one cool/scary moment he has, there's like three more where he does some stupid shit that has a 50/50 chance of ending badly for the sake of a laugh (or its karma biting him the ass for being-- well-- an ass). That's what makes him so interesting! That he's not some kind of Light Yagami type-- he's a severely fucked up kid who has no idea what he's doing, but is so dead-set on his goal he's convinced himself that he doesn't care who has to get hurt for it to be accomplished, even if that's not really the truth. You can take the man out of the silliness, but you can never take the silliness out of the man-- at most, you just make it go dormant.

If people do complain, it just means more silly and dopey Yura is in order. We can't have Occam's Razor and Convergence tricking more people into believing this man is a smug, scheming mastermind.

(Sorry for the insane ramblings, brainrot under the influence of the flu goes crazy - 🐸)

Aww, anon, that's genuinely such a relief to hear. I suppose I'm just afraid of people being disappointed by the characters not acting exactly as they imagined. Music videos tend to present things in a "cooler" way for the sake of drama and expressiveness, so I often assume people would find my actual idea of how the characters behave pretty lame, hahah. I'm glad there's little confusion about what Yura is like, at least. Thank you a lot for the encouragement!