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Xiao Zhan Portrait Magazine February 2025 feature

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“Xiao Zhan’s answer to Time”

As long as you hold the reins tightly, time will give you the answer.

Xiao Zhan has always felt that freedom and self are both neutral words. In the past, he may have cared more about other people's judgments, but now he prefers to listen to his own voice, "Destiny is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is oneself." The so-called freedom is the ability to control one's own destiny, whether fast or slow, whether strolling or galloping, it is all up to him. The reins are not in the hands of anyone else, but in the hands of Xiao Zhan.

Free time

In 2023, Xiao Zhan stayed with his actor friend Vincent for a long time.

He always remembered the scene when they first met: Vincent was very tall, with a very long neck and muscles all over his body. The sun shone on his skin, making it glow red. He held his head high, very elegantly, ignored everyone, and walked proudly into the stable - yes, Vincent was a horse.

After a while, Vincent suddenly started to kick and kick other horses when he passed by them, then ran around the arena frantically. "I was completely stunned at the time," Xiao Zhan said. He pointed at Vincent and looked at the equestrian teacher, "Are you sure?" The equestrian teacher was very calm, "Yes."

Vincent was selected from more than 1,000 foals to become one of the actors in the movie "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Hero", playing the role of the hero Guo Jing's mount "Little Red Horse".

For Xiao Zhan, the male lead who plays Guo Jing, riding the "little red horse" is the first step to becoming Guo Jing.

This is a test that the two actors go through together, exploring each other, testing each other, breaking through each other's boundaries, and ultimately, reaching mutual understanding and trust.

Vincent is very smart, he is almost the smartest horse in the herd, he has his own unique way of being lazy, often running and then stop moving. Xiao Zhan whispered in his ear to persuade him, Xiaohong, can you run two more laps, but Xiaohong ignored him. Xiaohong didn't want to walk, no one could persuade her; when Xiaohong was unhappy, she would just stick up her horse's butt and throw people off.

Time and waiting are the most Xiao Zhan can give, there is no other way.

He said that if the little red horse was unwilling, he would stop, and when the little red horse was willing to accept, he would spend more time to run in and train. Gradually, the little red horse and Xiao Zhan reached a tacit understanding. He knew that as long as they completed the training every day, everyone could rest. Later, during the breaks in filming, Xiao Zhan did not forget to feed the little red horse with carrots to reward his partner.

Talking about his time with the little red horse, Xiao Zhan said that he felt very happy and it was a feeling of freedom.

Free to fly, free to understand the emotions, personality and habits of another species. They get along day and night, trust each other, and eventually become friends.

For more than two months in the summer of 2023, Xiao Zhan lived this kind of life: getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning, going out at 7 o'clock, crossing the sixth ring road of Beijing, and going to the horse farm in the suburbs. If there is a traffic jam, it will take nearly two hours to get there. That state is like going to school, riding in the morning, martial arts in the afternoon, sometimes riding all day, and physical training. He can rest one day a week, occasionally two days. After returning home, as long as he has enough time, he will continue to do strength training.

Director Tsui Hark treated The Legend of the Condor Heroes rigorously and specially, requiring the actors to devote themselves to such a "semi-closed" period. Actress Zhuang Dafei, who played Huang Rong, remembered that Xiao Zhan would lead the actors to practice more. Because they had a foundation in exercise before and were relatively professional, the physical education teacher would let him lead everyone to do warm-up and stretching exercises, "It felt like classmates were in class together, and the class monitor led us to train."

During that time, Xiao Zhan fell asleep quickly every day due to extreme fatigue. This was another kind of freedom he felt, the freedom of creating a new character.

We asked Xiao Zhan, in the past five years, have you ever had a moment of spiritual freedom? His answer was: "The days on the set made me feel free." The road to the racecourse was long, and it made him happy.

Director Song Xiaofei also witnessed this period of time. At that time, the film "Sunshine by my side" that the two of them were working on had reached the post-editing stage. He knew that Xiao Zhan was very busy every day because of the subsequent scenes, working out, riding horses, and archery. Occasionally, he would tell him that his waist and back hurt, but he found that Xiao Zhan had a more relaxed and free state - he didn't care too much whether there was some dirt on his face, whether he was sweating or oily, he cared more about whether the role was accurate.

When we talk about the past five years, Xiao Zhan will mark the year with each work. In 2020, he filmed "Ace Troops", in 2021 it was "Dream of Dreams" and "Yu Gu Yao", in 2022 it was "Where Dreams Begin" and "Sunshine by my Side", in 2023 it was "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Hero", and in 2024 it was "The Legend of the Canghai". One after another, he approached those characters with curiosity, some non-repetitive and more complex roles, and found different answers to life in them.

When working with director Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan always showed respect. When they first met two years ago, he didn't even ask why Tsui Hark asked him to play Guo Jing. When they said goodbye, he didn't even dare to say "I look forward to working with you" for fear of being abrupt. It was only after a while that he knew that Tsui Hark wanted him to play Guo Jing.

But why did the cooperation start with the little red horse? Perhaps we can find the answer in the original work of The Legend of the Condor Heroes. The little red horse is a partner, a comrade-in-arms, and a family member to Guo Jing. More importantly, there is a plot about Guo Jing and the little red horse in the original work. It was a very important turning point in Guo Jing's growth. It was also the first real battle after Guo Jing practiced the Quanzhen internal skills. His courage, concentration and long endurance made the Seven Freaks of Jiangnan recognize this apprentice again and helped him become the "greatest hero".

Regarding Guo Jing and the little red horse, there is a description in the original novel: "The little red horse ran wildly and leaped, galloping back and forth on the grassland for more than an hour, and it was getting more and more energetic. The herdsmen were horrified. The old herdsman knelt down and muttered a prayer, asking the God not to bring disaster on them for offending the dragon horse. He also shouted loudly, asking Guo Jing to get off the horse quickly. But Guo Jing was concentrating on sticking to the horse's back, as if he was tied tightly with a rope. He rose and fell with the horse's height and never fell off the horse."

Xiao Zhan, who has a close relationship with Guo Jing, can also realize that this seems to be a metaphor for Guo Jing's life path: no matter how ups and downs his fate is, he will not be thrown off the horse. He holds the reins tightly and uses a seemingly clumsy but irreplaceable method to step into the world of martial arts and become a great hero.

When Xiao Zhan met his little red horse Vincent, he would have his own answer to this question: when you are in the world, pain and accidents are inevitable, as long as he holds the reins tightly, he will always wait for his moment of freedom.

Innocent confusion

There will almost certainly be a long period of negotiation before the moment of freedom arrives.

It was a long table, with more than 30 actors sitting around it, and the first script reading session that spring began. This play has been performed for more than 20 years. Some actors have been there since the premiere, and many actors are new. Everyone had to introduce themselves. It was Xiao Zhan's turn. Before he spoke, countless guesses kept popping up in his mind, "Oh my God, they will all think I'm a rookie. Will they wonder where this kid came from?" He thought nervously while saying in a low voice, "Hello everyone, I'm Xiao Zhan." Three years later, when recalling this scene to "Portrait", Xiao Zhan commented on himself at the time, "Completely, very, very unconfident."

It was the spring of 2021. Xiao Zhan was invited to star in the CCTV version of "Dream Like a Dream". This was his first time on the stage of a drama and he played one of the soul roles of the play, "Patient No. 5", a role he regarded as "very sacred".

When Xiao Zhan was in college and joined an art troupe, he had heard about "Dream Like a Dream". He knew it was a play about life and death, impermanence and reincarnation, so he became curious about it. Now, it was his turn to play the role. "I couldn't believe it." He was not a professional actor and had no experience in drama performance. How could he take on such an important role? But because he really liked it, he accepted the invitation.

The story of " Patient No. 5 " attracted Xiao Zhan. It was an extremely complicated fate - his child died, his wife disappeared, and he suddenly contracted a strange disease and was tortured. In the last moments of his life, he decided to travel far away and travel around the world. In Paris, France, he met his lover and also met the mystery of another person. For the rest of his life, he was looking for answers and the answer to the mystery of life.

Xiao Zhan's role as "Patient No. 5" in the CCTV version of "Like a Dream" was decided by the chief producer Wang Keren. Before 2019, Wang Keren had never heard of the name Xiao Zhan. The first time he knew him was because they happened to stay in the same hotel. He heard from others that a very popular actor named Xiao Zhan also lived there.

In 2020, Wang Keren was looking for a new version of "Patient No. 5" and a friend told him that he could pay attention to Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keren believes that the most mysterious thing about a person's destiny is impermanence. A few years ago, he told People that Xiao Zhan and "Patient No. 5" have something in common, which is very complex and has a sense of destiny. "People are fulfilled as they stay, and they are hit as they stay."

In July of that year, Wang Keren approached Xiao Zhan and invited him to have a conversation about drama with playwright Wan Fang. In fact, he wanted to observe the young actor. A few days later, Xiao Zhan handed over a long interview outline, which touched Wang Keren.

He told Portrait that he chose Xiao Zhan not only because of his sensitivity to words and deep diligence, but more importantly, during that conversation with Wan Fang, he noticed that Xiao Zhan exuded a kind of "innocent confusion", a trait unique to "Patient No. 5", and he wanted to explore where this "innocent confusion" came from.

"I find it very strange that when a person is in a severe shock, his soul will definitely feel confused, and this confusion may be more severe than I imagined," said Wang Keren.

At that time, Xiao Zhan was indeed at a loss. In 2015, he entered the entertainment industry through a talent show and became a member of an idol boy group from an ordinary designer. In 2019, he became popular because of the TV series "The Untamed" and became the most watched actor in China. Everything happened too quickly.

When he was a child, Xiao Zhan liked to watch "Story Club". The stories in it were all kinds of strange and the fate was ups and downs. As a child, he first knew what impermanence was. He remembered that when Wang Keren first met him, he told him that he was chosen because of "a kind of impermanence". He also understood that at certain moments, his fate and that of "Patient No. 5" were intertwined. Rather than saying that "Patient No. 5" needed him, it would be better to say that Xiao Zhan at that time also needed "Patient No. 5".

When we asked Xiao Zhan, what is the most empathetic point between you and "Patient No. 5"?

"Looking for an answer. An answer to anything." Xiao Zhan said. "Portrait" and Xiao Zhan haven't seen each other for 5 years. The last time they filmed was at the beginning of the new year of 2020. In the following 5 years, many new problems occurred, which also gave him many new confusions.

Xiao Zhan told Portrait that the arrival of Dream Like a Dream is very important to him, "very important". It is not only a breakthrough in performance, but also an influence and support on the spiritual level. "When I really needed such energy, it appeared miraculously. It gave me some answers to many questions."

He knew that he had to seize this opportunity, just like holding the reins of a horse, and he had to decide his own direction.

Dreamlike answer

The answer is not that easy to come by.

After taking on the role of "Patient No. 5", Xiao Zhan began to suffer from insomnia at night. When he was awake, he was reading the script. Before joining the crew, he had memorized all the lines and rehearsed many scenes at home many times. Despite this, he was still so unconfident.

Xiao Zhan shared a detail with Portrait about his nervousness at the time. At the first reading session, when he read out the first line, his attention was not on himself, but on others. He seemed to be staring at the script in front of him, but in fact he was secretly glancing at the reactions of other actors with his peripheral vision. Until he finished reading, he found that everyone had a little surprised reaction: "Eh, it seems okay."

The book "Everything for Drama" also records the behind-the-scenes story of "Dream Like a Dream": Before Xiao Zhan came, he had memorized all the lines. He came in the state of "Patient No. 5" and could start rehearsing immediately after arriving.

Wang Keran is very concerned about Xiao Zhan's status, not only because of his huge fan base, but also because the new version of "Patient No. 5" will be judged by all audiences and professional dramatists. The book "Everything for Drama" summarizes the status at that time like this: "A thorn has been piercing the back of this crew since half a year ago - can the newly joined Xiao Zhan perform on the stage of drama? "

Soon, Wang Keran found that Xiao Zhan had put himself into it. During the rehearsal, actors are easily attracted by their phones, but in the rehearsal, Wang Keran observed that Xiao Zhan did not waste a minute. He never lowered his head to look at his phone. When others were rehearsing, he was also observing, thinking and learning.

Recalling the scene a few years ago, Xiao Zhan said that he liked that kind of life very much. He was immersed in rehearsals every day, which was like returning to school. Everyone rehearsed and discussed, and the teacher gave feedback, revised and polished the work. Everyone created together. For him, "Dream Like a Dream" was like a school, and more like a dream.

Before the premiere, Xiao Zhan was very nervous. He was the opening actor, and the first line of the 8-hour "Like a Dream" was his. When he stood in position, the spotlight was turned on, and there was only white in front of him. The world seemed to be still. He remembered that he could not hear anything that day, but his own heartbeat, thump, thump, thump... When he finished his first line, his hearing was restored.

This may be the charm of the stage. Even though the whole audience was silent, Xiao Zhan could feel that "the air was applauding." Wang Keran also remembered the situation on the day of the premiere. He felt that Xiao Zhan almost "fully and perfectly expressed the emotions of ' Patient No. 5'" that day.

Since April 2021, Xiao Zhan has traveled all over the country with "Dream Like a Dream". In more than two years, he has performed in many shows and gained a lot. What Xiao Zhan likes most is that after each performance, the director and all the actors will get together and express together: "We have carried so much love and enthusiasm from the audience, so we must give these things back to everyone."

Every time, Xiao Zhan would say that he would never cry and would control his emotions, but every time everyone would find that he would come back with swollen eyes from crying.

He became "Patient No. 5" without reservation. There seemed to be an invisible rope between him and "Patient No. 5". Every time he played "Patient No. 5", his mood was also affected. "No scene is the same." The old actors told him that this was right. Even if they had been acting for 10 years, they would have new feelings every time. This is drama. Xiao Zhan also knew that the rope was not only holding "Patient No. 5" but also his persistence in acting. He did not let go of his hand.

At the end of "A Dream Like a Dream", "Patient No. 5" has to stand on the stage and sing a song. Every time he performs this part, he will be deeply immersed in a complex emotion, because before this, he has foreseen the death of "Patient No. 5".

There is a transition time of five or six seconds from lights off to lights on. Xiao Zhan always asks the staff behind the scenes to help him turn off the microphone. He will quickly wipe away his tears, sniff his nose, and adjust his state.

Sometimes, the feeling of helplessness about the fate of the characters still came up. One time, he started to cry while singing. He felt guilty and thought his performance was not perfect. At that time, the actress Feng Xianzhen, who played the elderly Gu Xianglan, said to him, "Your performance today was very moving. You know that? This is the drama itself."

In the more than two years since he became "Patient No. 5", Xiao Zhan has received a lot of comfort, companionship and awakening. He has gradually found his place in this dream and also found some resonance. Backstage, the sign in his lounge does not say Xiao Zhan, but "Patient No. 5".

Wang Keran said that what impressed him the most was actually the performance of "Patient No. 5" lying on the bed. That line made him feel that Xiao Zhan truly understood the role: "He had to get into (the role) to understand his confusion about himself and his fate. Only then could he truly feel it, express it, and have the power to do so. He did it."

Nourishment

The opening up of an individual happens little by little. Outside the stage, at certain subtle moments, Xiao Zhan always reaches out to let the wind of freedom blow in from the cracks in his life.

No one noticed that Xiao Zhan was among them.

He appeared on Binjiang Road, Chongqing's most famous urban promenade, taking a walk as he did before; he appeared at a roadside food stall, eating noodles with his good friends; he appeared in the most prosperous downtown area of a city, taking pictures everywhere with his camera.

In the past few years, he has occasionally wandered around, riding his bike, watching movies, and walking around freely.

These moments are so important to him. "It's like I'm a tree. Have you ever seen a tree grow in the air? No, it must land on the ground. That's the feeling." Xiao Zhan told People magazine that real people and real life are his soil.

When we first met Xiao Zhan, he said that the atmosphere of life was very important to him, and that kind of life gave him a solid feeling. Over the past five years, he has repeatedly emphasized the importance of life in interviews. He will remain sensitive to and capture daily details, observe the status of the staff on the set, observe the Chongqing residents by the Jialing River, and observe the food delivery riders.

When he couldn't sleep at night, he would often sit by the window and stare blankly. He would wonder what people were doing in the windows that were still lit at two or three in the morning. Were they working overtime? Or were they suffering from insomnia? Sometimes on rainy nights, he would see some people running with umbrellas, while others were walking slowly without umbrellas. He was curious about what stories those people had.

Life has given him a great deal of nourishment and strength, enough for him to have the confidence to cope with difficulties and step into the moment of freedom again, and the family is an important space for providing this nourishment and strength.

Last summer, Xiao Zhan and his parents went on a trip to Europe. They spent more than a week together. The last time the family of three went on such a trip was when he was in high school and went to Lijiang, Yunnan. At that time, Xiao Zhan was in adolescence and was very rebellious. He played by himself and didn't want to spend more time with his parents. More than a decade later, he had the opportunity to travel with his parents again. What he wanted was to spend some time with his parents so that they could see his life.

The short trip came to an end. He and his parents said goodbye at the seaside of a foreign country. His parents continued their trip, and Xiao Zhan ended his vacation and went to work. After lunch, they will each go to their next destination. He remembered the scene of parting that day very clearly. The alley was very narrow, so narrow that only one car could pass through. When the car drove in, the pedestrians on both sides had to stand sideways against the wall. The car to pick up Xiao Zhan came first, and he could not stay for long. Just as the clock struck midnight, the pumpkin car came to pick him up, and the dream was about to end.

He and his parents maintain a traditional Chinese family relationship model. Love is subtle and silent. When facing the person he loves, he never expresses too much emotion. He just pretends to be indifferent and says, "Go away and take care of yourself."

But that day, Xiao Zhan stood at the door of the restaurant, he hugged his mother first, then hugged his father. All his perceptions were magnified again. He remembered that when he was hugging his mother, a middle-aged lady walked by sideways. She was wearing a white dress with blue prints. He hugged his mother and watched a gust of wind blow by. The lady's skirt swayed, and the wind smelled like the sea.

The scene was like a movie, deeply imprinted in his mind. When talking about this scene, Xiao Zhan showed the most emotional expression of the day. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was back at the beach. He held his arms in the air, as if he was hugging his mother again. This was almost one of his moments of the year. This complete relaxation brought him some long-lasting strength. During that trip, he also publicly posted a photo with his parents on social networks for the first time, although it was only a back view.

Xiao Zhan said that he and his parents don’t contact each other every day, but they have a strong sense of bond. His parents rarely ask about his work, and they don’t have many in-depth conversations. They only say one thing when he encounters difficulties: "Being happy is more important than anything else. It’s no big deal. Otherwise, just go home."

He found that when he was with his parents, they always talked about his childhood. When he was in high school, he was very annoyed and didn't want to listen more. When he was in his 30s, he had the idea of "talking more, the more the better". He wanted to listen to how he grew up. This is where he came from, and it is also the reason why he grew up to be Xiao Zhan.

A few years ago, he expressed in an interview that he wanted to find "real life". He was worried that he was too far away from the concrete world and lost his judgment of reality. This year, he suddenly changed. Perhaps it was because of more observation, or perhaps it was because of that trip. He confirmed one thing, "I am in real, concrete life."

The concrete life related to his parents and hometown over the past 20 years is like a thick and gentle net, which gently supports Xiao Zhan and helps him dispel many doubts about real life. It is the world closest to him. It is his soil and his nutrients, which continuously and steadily nourishes him and makes him believe that he is still alive.

Now, Xiao Zhan occasionally dreams, and the scenes in his dreams are all the old houses from his childhood. It is an old residential building, and his home is on the fifth floor. Every time he opens the door, his father, mother, and grandmother are all there, and the old house slowly emerges, and he remembers the bedroom, living room, table lamp, and even the kitchen exhaust fan.

Xiao Zhan said that home was like a safe house. Whenever he felt tired or unhappy, he would dream about the old house. Sometimes he felt happy, and sometimes he felt lost when he woke up. But he knew that no matter what happened, he didn't have to worry. As long as he wanted, he could return to the safe house in his dreams.

Dissatisfied

The nutrients absorbed determine what kind of tree a person will grow into. Xiao Zhan once said in the documentary "Wonderful City: Chongqing" that he grew up in Chongqing, and the mountain city nurtured him for more than 20 years. He climbed mountains and crossed obstacles every day, going against the trend. His daily routine was to "climb" every day, so there are some "very stubborn" parts in his character. Growing up in such soil, he had many dissatisfactions and many thoughts of wanting to move forward.

On December 31, 2024, "Portrait" met Xiao Zhan again in a recording studio in Beijing. This was the last day of the year, and the atmosphere of the New Year was everywhere. He did not participate in any New Year's Eve activities, but stayed in a small warm yellow room to record dubbing for subsequent works. When night fell, he had been dubbing for more than 8 hours in a row.

"Do it again", this is the sentence Xiao Zhan said the most, "Do it again", "I'll try again", "Come on, do it again".

There was a nearly two-minute inner monologue, which he dubbed several times. The director thought it was good enough, and Xiao Zhan said, "Do it again." The director was a little surprised and asked, "All of it?" Then Xiao Zhan dubbed the nearly two-minute monologue twice more.

Several directors who have worked with Xiao Zhan all mentioned that "Do it again" is one of the phrases he says most often on the set. Director Jiang Jiajun recalled that during the filming of "Yu Gu Yao", there was an underwater scene where the temperature of the water shed was not high and the actors went in and out of the water many times. The actors quickly became hypothermic and their lips were trembling. However, after each take, Xiao Zhan would come over and ask how the shooting went and whether they needed another take. This was also the part that impressed him the most about Xiao Zhan

Wang Keren also shared the same feeling with People. During the rehearsal of Dream Like a Dream, he often felt that he had passed and performed well, but Xiao Zhan still asked himself to do it again. He concluded that this was Xiao Zhan's "dissatisfaction" with himself.

When filming the TV series "Sunshine by my Side", director Song Xiaofei would receive a call from Xiao Zhan every night before going to bed. He would ask in a crackling voice: "Director, what do you think of tomorrow's scene? This is what I think, do you think it's right? Is this line okay for me to understand it this way?" Song Xiaofei said that among the actors he worked with, Xiao Zhan was very outstanding, and they always maintained close, pleasant, positive and effective communication during work.

He could sense some of Xiao Zhan's anxieties, always worrying that he wasn't doing well enough. Sometimes, he would comfort Xiao Zhan more on the phone, "You're fine, relax tomorrow." There was a drunken scene, and Song Xiaofei felt that it was okay not to drink, but Xiao Zhan insisted on drinking a little. He said it would not be realistic if he didn't drink at all. That day, he took a sip of wine and his face turned red. "He always wants to do it well, he is such an actor."

During the filming, as long as Xiao Zhan was free, he would always sit next to the director, observe other actors, and see how everyone worked. Jiang Jiajun remembered that there was a heavy snow scene in "Yu Gu Yao", Xiao Zhan arrived at the scene early, put a small folding chair in the middle of the artificial snow scene, and sat on it quietly. Jiang Jiajun did not disturb Xiao Zhan, because he knew that Xiao Zhan was brewing emotions.

Song Xiaofei also remembers that on the set, Xiao Zhan always sat very low, for fear of affecting other people's vision. He huddled in a corner, watching other actors perform, and was not stingy with his praise, "They acted really well." Hearing this, Song Xiaofei would offer encouragement, "You acted very well, too."

When filming The Legend of the Condor Heroes: Greatest Hero, Xiao Zhan would sneak into Tsui Hark's small tent, sit quietly beside him, listen to Tsui Hark communicating with the staff, and watch Tsui Hark draw storyboards with a brush. He said, "It's great. I only knew the name Tsui Hark before, but seeing it all with my own eyes makes me feel even more magical."

Dissatisfaction with his performance, his condition, the script and the role made him move forward step by step.

Over the past five years, Xiao Zhan has tried his best to play more different roles, such as soldiers, children of a military compound, and designers. He has also tried different styles of works, such as period dramas, urban dramas, and military themes. This dissatisfaction has allowed him to better understand acting and constantly calibrate his judgment. As long as he continues to act one after another and holds on to each work, he will wait for a better moment.

Recently, he has chosen two more complex roles, Guo Jing and Cang Hai.

After taking on the role of Guo Jing, he would ask everyone he met, "What is your impression of Guo Jing?" Many people would mention that fools have good fortune, but he didn't understand it that way. He remembered Tsui Hark asking him, "Can a fool master the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms?" When Xiao Zhan got to know Guo Jing better, he found that Guo Jing was not a fool at all, but just a very serious and pure person.

Interestingly, he remembered that when he first met the director after joining the crew, Tsui Hark asked him and Zhuang Dafei, "Do you know rock musicians? You are the rock musician version of Guo Jing and Huang Rong." Xiao Zhan said that he and Zhuang Dafei looked at each other at the time and were a little confused, but during the filming process, he understood that the so-called rock musicians are the kind of reckless persistence.

For a while, under the guidance of Tsui Hark, he watched boxing videos every day and studied the boxers' eyes during the fight. Gradually, he found the eyes of Xiao Zhan's version of Guo Jing, which were not silly or dull, but "sharp like an eagle" during the fight. He said that after several months of filming, he understood Guo Jing and his world from a more complex perspective.

Xiao Zhan also has a new work "The Legend of Cang Hai", which is a costume drama. The character "Cang Hai" played by him carries a blood feud, hides his identity, and searches for the truth. The character's sense of destiny and complexity are further enhanced.

Such complicated clues gave Xiao Zhan more thoughts and more expressions. Xiao Zhan and director Cao Yiwen are of the same age and have similar personalities. They are both very stubborn and serious. They often discuss a detail from online to offline, and continue to discuss after work. One day, they discussed until three or four in the morning.

Zheng Xiaolong is the chief director of "Legend of the Hidden Sea". He told Xiao Zhan that the most important thing is to enrich the role from the perspective of people and human nature. Xiao Zhan said that Zheng Xiaolong would give him all kinds of ideas, and he could act this way or that way. Zheng Xiaolong told "Portrait" that Xiao Zhan not only put a lot of effort into the lines, but also tried very hard to empathize with the character. He acted out many emotional scenes over and over again. "He completely explored acting in practice."

Xiao Zhan said that when he first entered the industry, he was more of a passive receiver. Directors and senior actors told him how to act, and he just listened and followed them. "I understand, I understand" was what he said most. Starting from The Untamed, he realized that he had changed a little bit, and gradually found a way of expression that belonged to him.

At the post-production dubbing site of "Legend of Zanghai", we also saw such a scene: sometimes when the director puts forward an idea, Xiao Zhan will not explain it immediately, but think about it for a few seconds first. Sometimes it is even as small as whether the breath is closer to the opponent actor or more distant, Xiao Zhan will have his own understanding.

The New Year is coming, and Xiao Zhan's voice is still ringing in the dubbing studio, "Do it again", "Try again". 2025 is Xiao Zhan's ninth year since his debut. He knows that this dissatisfaction and "Do it again" will accompany him for a long time.

Don't look back

On the day we met again five years later, we asked Xiao Zhan to watch the video interview he filmed for People magazine in 2020. At the end of the video, he smiled at the camera and asked, "I look forward to the next five years. What will Xiao Zhan become?"

He said that this was the first time he had watched this video in five years. He never watched his own interviews, and he felt a little embarrassed. But he also frankly expressed his feelings: "At that time, I was very young and fresh. Oh, you can see that my eyes were shining. I really wanted the world to know me. Come and see me."

When he was young, he listened to Stefanie Sun's song "Youth Without Limits", in which the lyrics go "At 25, I learn the movements that adults should have". At that time, he thought that 25 was so far away, and that I should be a very mature adult. He never thought that he would enter the entertainment industry and start a new life at the age of 25. Now he is 33 years old, an age that he "did not dare to think about" when he was a child.

Five years later, what kind of person has Xiao Zhan become?

After entering his thirties, Xiao Zhan clearly felt some subtle changes in his body. During the filming of "Legend of Zanghai", he suffered from a long-lasting illness, with constant inflammation of his tonsils, coughing, fever, and facial swelling, which recurred over and over again.

One morning, he was filming a horse riding scene. He had experienced the Little Red Horse in the production of The Legend of the Condor Heroes, so riding a horse was not a problem. He just felt that the sunlight was a bit dazzling and it was a bit difficult to open his eyes. Unexpectedly, the director Zheng Xiaolong asked him, "Why are you so swollen?" He leaned close to the monitor to watch the playback, and saw himself riding a horse at full speed with two swollen frog-like eyelids.

In 2021, he started to exercise because of filming a military-themed work, and he has maintained the habit of exercising since then. When he played Guo Jing, he began to gain muscle and weight. Guo Jing grew up on the Mongolian grasslands and was a man of the rivers and lakes. He should look rough in appearance. In order to achieve the change in appearance, he did strength training almost every day.

Onlookers can also feel the changes that fitness has brought to Xiao Zhan. Song Xiaofei remembers the first time he saw Xiao Zhan. He had just finished running that day and was jogging up the stairs. His hair was a little sweaty, and his body was steaming with a kind of hormones. He "jumped up". Because he was moved by this scene, Song Xiaofei deliberately changed the script and filmed the scene where the male protagonist Sheng Yang got up early to exercise, got ready as quickly as possible, and rushed to the subway with full energy. "It felt so good to see Xiao Zhan that day, I really want to show it to everyone."

Fitness is also a way to control the body. Of course, the frequent red lights on his body last year also warned him that he was getting old and could no longer stay up all night and be energetic the next day. He had to take better care of his body and solve the problems his body gave him.

In the past, he might have wondered why he got sick. Now, he exercises with a clear goal in mind and adjusts his condition. When he was in his 20s, Xiao Zhan was thinking about finding answers to questions. Now, when he is in his 30s, he is solving specific problems.

So, what is the biggest growth in these five years?

"I have become more stable and also...relatively self-centered." Xiao Zhan told Portrait magazine that he has always felt that freedom and self are neutral words. In the past, he may have cared more about other people's judgments, but now he hopes to listen to his own voice. "Destiny is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is oneself."

The so-called freedom means having the ability to control one's own destiny. Whether fast or slow, leisurely or galloping, it is all up to him. The reins are not in the hands of anyone else, but in Xiao Zhan's hands.

In November 2024, Xiao Zhan released his first music album "We", one of which has a song called "Don't Look Back". The MV of that song is like this: In the dim city ruins, a beam of light hits Xiao Zhan. He passes through the black tunnel, through the lightning, and comes to a winding spiral walkway. The walkway extends all the way to the sky above the city. He keeps running forward, crossing the broken steps, with sand and stones swirling around him. He doesn't look back, nor does he stop.

This scene is very similar to Xiao Zhan’s past five years. He always looks at the road under his feet and keeps striding forward.

When he took over " Patient No. 5 " 5 years ago , he said that he wanted to find an answer. Five years later, we asked him, had he found the answer?

"There is no answer. I have given up looking for the answer. There are not so many whys in life. Just do it and live in the present." Xiao Zhan replied.

Regarding this, Xiao Zhan also mentioned a small matter to "Portrait".

In early summer of 2019, he was filming in the mountains. It was very dark at night and he couldn't see anything. Suddenly, a huge sky lantern rose in the sky. It was the sky lantern used by the crew for lighting. "It was very, very big, like a hot air balloon." It was the first time he saw such a big sky lantern in his life. He also felt a kind of guidance, walking towards the light and not looking back. That day, he took a picture of the sky lantern, added six words, and posted it on the social platform. In the past five years, this moment often reminded him - "Don't look back, forever."

-END

#xiao zhan #OMGGGG SUCH A GREAT READ!!!!!!#i love the part about ADLAD #and vincent the horse #and actually everything!#so insightful!!!!!!

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tehrevving · 3 days ago

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Vincent Valentine Week 2025 - Kiss

Gonna be honest with you all, this is likely to be the only prompt for this week that I fill, but being that the prompt is Kiss, I just couldn't help doing a sequel to my very well received 'Monster' prompt from the last one. Enjoy!

Glowing yellow eyes fill your vision, slitted pupils shimmering in the low light. You don’t want to shut your eyes, you’re too afraid, but you don’t want to keep looking either. The expression painted onto Vincent’s face is like nothing you’ve ever seen before. He looks wrong and inhuman. The creature, Chaos, is completely in control.

The sharp tips of Vincent’s gauntlet prick underneath your chin as he pulls you closer. The heat of his breath assaults your cheek, short, rough puffs of air that feel more animalistic than human. You expect his breath to smell rancid, like rotting flesh and meat, but he smells normal, a familiar mix of mint and mouthwash. You don’t know what to do.

You’re out of options, you don’t have many choices. You’re going to have to kiss Vincent, kiss the creature controlling him. You don’t think Chaos is going to hurt you, it hasn’t tried to so far but it seems tricky, manipulative. You don’t know if you can trust the deep rumble of its promises.

“Relax Sweetheart,” Vincent’s voice purrs, reassuring in a way that threatens to undo you. Chaos can make itself sound like him, it can choose how much of Vincent it puts into its voice. Your body wants to obey the command. Vincent’s voice is comforting, a warm light that you know you can always trust. You don’t know what to do.

Chaos tilts your head up while it tilts Vincent’s face to the side. There’s a snaking darkness beginning to run down from the corner of Vincent’s eyes, angular, lined tattoos dragging downwards and outlining the muscles of his face, similar to Galian’s markings. Vincent’s full lips peel back into a smirk exposing teeth that suddenly seem too white and too sharp. Chaos leans in closer. You hold your breath, desperately holding back a shudder as familiar lips press to yours.

The kiss is immediately wrong. You’ve never really noticed it before but Vincent always kisses with his bottom lip pressed underneath yours. Chaos does not. Its tongue is eager, running uncoordinated against your lips, trying to slip inside. You don’t know if you should pull away or just let it do whatever it wants. You feel a sudden hint of teeth, too numerous and sharp against your top lip. You can’t help but gasp. It’s a mistake. A tongue that is too long and too dexterous explores your mouth, lashing at the back of your throat.

You try to pull back, choking and spluttering. Chaos lets you go, laughing maniacally, the sound somehow saccharine and full of mischief. You flail, coughing and struggling to maintain your composure. Chaos licks its lips, digging a too long tongue roughly into reddened flesh, desperate to lap up whatever taste you must have left behind.

“You are too sweet,” Chaos purrs, lips curling up at the corners. “However,” it cackles, smile growing wider, far too wide to fit properly on a human face. It’s head snaps to the side with a resounding crack of bone. “I meant a kiss somewhere else.”

It takes far too long for you to understand its words and you can’t help but baulk. It can’t possibly be asking for that, can it? You don’t know if you should try to seek clarification. You don’t really want to, but you need to have as much information as possible, you need to try to be on equal footing with this creature.

Chaos lolls its long tongue from Vincent’s mouth. It’s completely inhuman, barbed at the edges and covered in small textured bumps. Its tongue shifts and suddenly it’s split in two, double ended with each part moving independently, sliding and flicking. Each tip undulates, twisting in the air and clearly imitating a sexual act. You stare, unable to look away, completely mesmerised.

Chaos laughs once more, the sound somehow crystal clear even with its tongue hanging from its mouth. It winks, yellow eyes gleaming as it slowly pulls the twirling appendage back between Vincent’s lips. “Let us find shelter,” it coos, changing the subject immediately and starting to stand up.

Vincent’s waterlogged cloak and dark clothing easily blend into the surroundings, but you can still tell that Chaos doesn’t quite know how to move its body. Vincent’s limbs splay at odd angles, not quite broken, but definitely in ways that would be extremely uncomfortable. Chaos kicks off the tree with its wings, you suddenly notice they’re starting to look more corporeal than hazy. Chaos stands, legs locked completely straight, knees not bending at all.

You look up at Vincent, at Chaos, not sure what to do. A single, skeletal wing is still angled awkwardly above your head, protecting you from the pouring rain. Vincent looks taller, somehow stretched out, already long limbs suddenly seeming unnatural. You know you must just be imagining it, his clothes would visibly look different if he’d actually grown.

Chaos looks down at you, a predatory glint in yellow, slitted eyes. Vincent’s gauntlet reaches out to you, golden fingers curled slightly to protect you from their sharp points. “Come,” it purrs with a wink.

You don’t have any choice but to follow. Chaos is still trying to protect you, still keeping you sheltered from the rain. You’re going to need to trust it. You take Vincent’s hand and you’re quickly pulled up with far too much strength. You fall, completely off balance, face smacking into the centre of Vincent’s chest. Chaos hisses with laughter and pulls you in close, arms and wings sealing you to its body.

The edge of a wing cradles the back of your head, pressing you tightly against a rumbling chest. The tight hug protects you from the rain and you can’t help but relax slightly. You want to push away but you’re still lost and upset and it’s natural to want to seek comfort with the body of your lover. You want to be close to Vincent, you always want to be close to him. You enjoy cuddling with him, ear pressed against the steady beat of his heart. Your body shifts automatically, adjusting away from the sharp press of buckles and buttons. Hugging him is second nature to you, and you know how to make it comfortable.

Chaos purrs, running its gauntleted hand gently up and down your back. The sharp golden fingers almost feel like claws and the touch is soothing even though you think it should be causing you panic. You need to keep your guard up but it’s difficult. You’re too used to being able to let go of everything when you’re in Vincent’s arms and you’re struggling to fight against your body.

A warm cheek presses to the top of your head, nuzzling softly. You find yourself relaxing, unable to help it, until you feel the sudden, wet press of a tongue against your forehead. You pull back with shock and Chaos lets you, wing angling above your head to keep you dry.

It laughs with that very un-Vincent-like cackle, wings flapping in time with its laughter. “Let’s go,” it purrs, quickly hoisting you off balance and up into its arms.

You squeak, unable to stop the noise. Chaos holds you bridal style, gauntlet resting against your back. Its wing curls around you once more, protecting you from the rain as it starts walking. The first few steps are unsteady, knees not bending correctly and joints popping and shaking. Quickly though, it works out what to do, easing into unnaturally long, steady strides.

“We will find shelter soon,” Chaos purrs, voice echoing through Vincent’s chest.

“How do you know?” you stammer, voice trembling, not even sure why you’re asking.

“The planet speaks to me,” Chaos replies, not elaborating. You don’t know how to respond to that, so you don’t.

The rain grows heavier, turning into a rough storm. Thunder roars in the distance. Your clothes are still soaked but you’re starting to dry, having been sheltered from the rain long enough. Heavy raindrops pelt against the wing above your head. It’s skeletal and barely corporeal. It looks like the rain should just go through it, but somehow it’s even protecting you from the wind.

You look up, noticing that Chaos is not making any attempt to keep Vincent’s body dry. Vincent’s dark hair is plastered against his face, the length of it blowing roughly in the wind. Chaos looks down at you and you quickly glance away from the shimmering yellow. It’s all too much. You don’t like it. You like Vincent’s usual shining red eye, you find it comforting and hate that you can’t see it.

You walk for probably five more minutes, but it’s difficult to tell. The black wing blocks most of your vision, so you can’t see what’s in front of you. You can hear that the storm is continuing to pick up, the wind howling and trees cracking.

“We are here,” Chaos shouts, taking a few more steps until the world suddenly grows quiet.

The wing leaves your front and you look at your surroundings. You’re in a carved out rock formation, you’d barely call it a cave, but it’s dry and there’s enough room for even Vincent to stand up. It will definitely do for shelter.

You’re put down carefully, hand resting supportively on your back until you find your footing. You step back, retreating carefully further into the safe, dryness of the cave. Chaos steps away, positioning just inside the safety of the shelter. It bends Vincent’s body slightly and then starts shaking dry like an animal. Fluffed up wings and hair fly everywhere as water splatters all over the walls and floor, somehow missing you. His body is blurry, moving faster than your eyes can track. He’s noticeably drier when he steps back towards you.

Chaos steps closer and you struggle not to retreat. You straighten your back and try to stand your ground. You need to not show fear or reluctance. Vincent’s golden arm reaches out to you again, sharp fingers curling as they press to your cheek. You stay deathly still, barely even breathing. You don’t want to get scratched. “Are you alright?” Chaos murmurs, genuine concern lacing its deep, echoing voice. “Are you cold? Injured?”

You’re caught off guard but try your best to reply, voice wavering. “I-I’m fine,” you stammer, because you are. You’re still wet but not enough that it will cause problems. You’re not injured, just shaken up and incredibly unsure. A sudden, loud crack of thunder echoes through the cave, making the ground shake. Lightning crackles at the mouth of the cave, casting bright lights and dark shadows everywhere. You jump back, startled, wincing as golden fingers scratch your cheek.

Chaos laughs, the sound full of mirth as it coos and tries to soothe you. “It is just lightning,” it murmurs, sounding far too much like Vincent and his dry sense of humour. Chaos steps towards you and then stops, yellow eyes zeroing in on your cheek.

Vincent’s gloved hand reaches out and grips roughly at your chin. Leather creaks as it tugs at your skin. “I am sorry,” Chaos says, genuine remorse in its voice. It tilts your jaw from side to side, inspecting the damage. It leans down and you’re worried that it might try to kiss you again. Instead Vincent’s regular tongue darts out to lick at the cut. There’s a tiny, tingling stinging and then nothing, just warm saliva quickly cooling on your skin. “All better,” Chaos purrs, stepping back with a smile.

You reach up, not feeling anything aside from wetness on your cheek. It healed you with its tongue, somehow.

“Wait here,” Vincent’s voice says and you turn towards the sound. “I will return shortly with firewood.”

You don’t know if you should protest. You don’t want to be left on your own but you don’t want to go back out into the rain either. Chaos moves too quickly, not letting you make a decision. It walks out of the cave, immediately getting drenched by the rain. Lighting strikes once more, lighting up Vincent’s silhouette, complete with horns and wings as he walks away.

You lean against the corner of the cave and wait, not sure what to do. You’re stuck with Chaos until Vincent wakes up, if Chaos ever lets him wake up. There’s no point in running, you’re safe and dry at the moment, and that’s what’s most important. You don’t think Chaos means you any harm, it had healed you and has done nothing but protect you. You feel bad for being so distrusting. You wouldn’t have any apprehension if Galian had taken over Vincent’s skin, you feel like you should give another of his monsters the benefit of the doubt.

You hear a loud echoing crack. You think it’s more thunder but then it happens again and you think that it’s actually a tree being ripped apart. Chaos returns a few minutes later, arms full of gigantic log chunks, wing angled across the top of them to keep them dry. It deposits them in the centre of your shelter, dripping water all over the floor before stepping back to the entrance and shaking dry once more.

You look up and realise that Vincent now looks even less like himself. His skin has grown sallow, pale skin tinted grey instead of pink. The veins on his face have darkened, twirling and patterning his skin like thorns. The horns on his head are taller, more pronounced and less shadowy. They’re barbed and twisted, real, his hair falling awkwardly around them, before his hair had been phasing through them.

Chaos doesn’t notice you staring as it squats down and gathers the logs into a pile, lighting them on fire with a click of golden claws. You could have done it yourself with materia, but somehow you weren’t expecting this creature to have that ability.

“Come,” it calls, head craned far further back than should be possible to look at you. You look away but slowly head over. You want to sit by the fire and warm up, and want it to stop twisting Vincent’s neck so unnaturally. You’re glad that his cowl covers him so that you don’t have to see. You slowly walk towards him, watching as Chaos sits down on the floor by the fire, beckoning you closer.

You’d prefer to sit opposite, but Chaos pulls you down the second you walk close enough, bundling you up into Vincent’s lap. His body is warm against your back, while the fire is hot by your front. You curl against him, getting comfortable as arms and wings band tightly around you. You won’t be able to escape unless it lets you go.

“You would enjoy my company,” Chaos murmurs, the facade of Vincent’s face by your ear. “I can please you better than he can.” Vincent’s cheek presses to the top of your head, keeping you steady as Chaos starts removing his gauntlet. It comes off with a click and a creaking of leather as Chaos peels off the elbow length glove underneath it. You know what Vincent’s arm looks like, slightly monstrous and completely inhuman. It doesn’t bother you, you’re used to it even though he rarely removes the glove and only ever touches you with it in the heat of the moment.

Chaos flexes the long, thick fingers of it, jagged claws shifting. Chaos chuckles and then suddenly retracts the claws. You didn’t know Vincent could do that, you think that maybe he can’t. Chaos drags its fingers across your cheek and then down to press at your throat. Your breath hitches. You trust Vincent and you think you trust this part of him too, but his monstrous fingers are pressed to your throat. If his claws unsheathed, you don’t think you’d survive it.

Chaos sniffs violently and buries Vincent’s face into your neck, desperately breathing in your scent. “Your fear is delicious,” it murmurs, “but your pleasure would be even sweeter.” It’s long tongue darts out, laving over your shoulder, the separate, dual tips of it deliberately teasing at different parts of your skin.

You lean away. It feels strange, good, but overwhelming and you’re not sure how you feel. You don’t know what to do. You’re safe and warm now, you’ll be fine until the rain stops or until Vincent wakes up.

“You may say no,” Chaos whispers. “I will not force you, my sweet.” It brushes Vincent’s nose across your cheek. “But I know you want to say yes.”

You shake your head. You don’t want to say yes, you don’t want to do anything with the creature possessing Vincent, and you definitely don’t want to do anything in a cave in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Chaos chuckles. “You are curious, even if you deny it. You already know it is better when I join in.”

You gasp, shaking your head. You don’t want to think about it. There’s always an energy, something powerful and sharp on the somewhat rare occasions that Vincent grows horns. It makes your pleasure stronger and scatters electricity across your skin.

Chaos starts to kiss your neck, pressing warm lips against sensitive skin. “I have waited so long to have you to myself. Allow me to worship you.”

Sparks dance across your skin and skitter down your spine. Everywhere that Chaos touches you radiates an energy, a tightening, lingering tension that grows stronger with each passing moment. You’re curious, you know that you are, even if you want to deny it. You hang your head and open your mouth. You intended to say no, you truly honestly did, but as Chaos cackles sharply behind you, you realise that somehow, the opposite word left your lips.

#vvw25 #vincentvalentineweek25 #vincent valentine #rev writes #my writing #call me chaos

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