#Lord of the Empty Isles
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aroaessidhe · 2 months ago
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aro & ace books: aroace boys/men
in some of these it's explored significantly, in others it's only vaguely/briefly implied!
Sailing By Orion’s Star - historical trilogy, 3 aroace MCs
The Stones Stay Silent - high fantasy
Fallen Thorns - urban fantasy/paranormal
The Wolf Among The Wild Hunt - dark fantasy
The Siren The Song and The Spy - YA fantasy, one of various MCs (in book 2)
Wander The Night - urban fantasy
Lord of the Empty Isles - scifi/fantasy
Sinners - dark fantasy duology
The Dragon of Ynys - fantasy
Royal Rescue - high fantasy
City of Exile - high fantasy series, one of many MCs (other aspec chars too)
The Loudest Silence - YA contemporary, 1 of 2 MCs
See also: Rick, The Rhythm of My Soul, Party of Fools, The Chronicles of Nerezia
#aspec books / aspec database / tumblr masterpost
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aspeccharactersoftheday · 1 month ago
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Remy Canta from Lord of the Empty Isles is aromantic asexual!
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yourfavebooklrsfavebooklr · 5 months ago
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New Releases of June!
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ariaste · 2 months ago
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YIELD UNDER GREAT PERSUASION comes out on September 17th! (Edit: It's out now!!!!) It's a cozy M/M romantasy about second chances, the difficult journey to self-forgiveness, and a one-sided enemies-to-lovers situationship 👀 It's available from most book retailers in hardback, paperback, and ebook (with more retailers coming soon) -- links to most of the common ones right here. The cover art is by the amazing @holographings, check out more of his work!
SUMMARY: Tam Becket has hated Lord Lyford since they were boys. The fact that he’s also been sleeping with the man for the last ten years is irrelevant. When they were both nine years old, Lyford smashed Tam’s entry into the village’s vegetable competition. Nearly twenty years later, Tam hasn’t forgiven him. No one understands how deeply he was hurt that day, how it set a pattern of disappointments and small misfortunes that would run through the rest of his life. Now Tam has reconciled himself to the fact that love and affection are for other people, that the gods don’t care and won’t answer any of his prayers (not even the one about afflicting Lyford with a case of flesh-eating spiders to chew off his privates), and that life is inherently mundane, joyless, and drab. And then, the very last straw: Tam discovers that Lyford (of all people!) bears the divine favor of Angarat, the goddess Tam feels most betrayed and abandoned by. In his hurt and anger, Tam packs up and prepares to leave the village for good. But the journey doesn’t take him far, and Tam soon finds himself set on a quest for the most difficult of all possible prizes: Self care, forgiveness, a second chance... and somehow the unbelievably precious knowledge that there is at least one person who loves Tam for exactly who he is—and always has.
This book might be for you if:
You like enemies-to-lovers but you think it would be improved by being one-sided and meanwhile the other person is living through a “hopelessly yearning for childhood crush” trope
you like it when two people are so, so, so stupid that they’ve been fucking for 10 years and Person A hasn’t figured out that Person B is in love with him, and Person B hasn’t realized that Person A doesn’t even know about his feelings
You know how fucking hard it is to Do The Work In Therapy and you want some catharsis about it
you want to read about an imperfect, truly difficult person who still gets loved, because being perfect is not a requirement to deserve affection and care
you know that apologizing for wronging someone doesn’t just magically take away the bad feelings and automatically repair the relationship, and you want to read about someone having to do the extra steps that come after the apology
this one’s for the wlw: fat harvest goddess milf. my gift to u
you like gods who don’t have anything better to do than stick their noses into human business
when you see a gorgeous man holding an infant, it takes you out at the knees
you like queernorm fantasy AND small-town gossip, and you find the intersection of the two delicious and intriguing
a religion based on pre-Christian Brythonic England. That is, they’ve got henges and standing stones instead of churches and altars. it’s cool
plant magic!!!!!
“god of temptation and evil” actually “god of self-care and personal boundaries and taking responsibility for the consequences you consented to”.
"Alongside the sexiness and absurdity (and the sexy absurdity) in Yield Under Great Persuasion is a tender, resonant story of second and third chances and being loved when we need it most and feel we deserve it least. Evocative, emotional, and endlessly entertaining." —Jules Arbeaux, author of Lord of the Empty Isles Preorder links for most retailers are here! If you live in the US and you'd like to order a paper copy from the retailer that benefits me most (thank you!), that retailer is Allstora.
(Signal boosts are always greatly appreciated, thank you in advance!)
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l0nelyish · 4 months ago
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It‘s about that sandwich!
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natasha romanoff x fem!reader
prompt: where you just can’t help but stun Natasha… and maybe get on her nerves? she doesn’t know which one it is.
nothin but pure fluff and nat being pouty af
lil bit of grumpy nat x sunshine reader if you squint.
3rd pov
„That‘s it.“, Wanda turned around, confused. Witnessing Natasha angry, sure thing. Witnessing her confused? never.
“What’s the matter with you, everything alright?”
Natasha huffed, pouting almost childlike. It’s so not like her to seem this openly frustrated, but she couldn’t care less. “Do I seem alright to you? No. This is the fifth time this month she’s been emptying one of the pbj ingredients before i could make one for myself.”, she dragged her eyes across the room, almost analyzing as in ‘hide and seek’. Where could you have been? And why do you have to steal ‘her’ ingredients? Natasha was bothered by you, yes. Extremely.
Wanda took another look at Natasha and chuckled: “Damn, does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich really have that much value to THE black widow? Oh my Lord.”
Natasha almost wanted to hit Wanda in the head with her slices of bread. It was really tempting, she had to admit. The witch shot her a knowing look, most likely hearing her thoughts. Again, the Russian woman huffed. Her temper was really not her strongest suit. Especially not after provoking it.
“It has a decent amount of value, thank you. What do you want me to say? ‘Oh my God! I can’t live without a pbj sandwich! Help me!’ ?”, Natasha shot her a glare, sarcasm being her best suited form of selfdefense. She truly is a witty woman.
On the other side of the kitchen aisle, Wanda tried her best not to fall into a laughing fit. Never has she ever seen Natasha this distressed, this fuzzy. And then, after really considering who they were discussing, she sent her friend a knowing smirk:
“Are you really this cranky about two bread slices or is it because of your ‘definitely not crush’ ?”
Natasha stared at her, eyes blown in shock: she got caught. Again. She usually wouldn’t let someone else read her this easily, but since this is you they’re talking about, and it’s Wanda she’s talking to, there really is no reason to facade it. Still, she tries to deny: “I told you a hundred times, I don’t like her! I can’t even stand her. I mean, she empties the food. What am I supposed to eat now?” So wrong. Even Natasha knows her whole act of trying to hate and blame you for everything is not working and it’s just her best shot at ignoring the rising feelings she’s got for you. But could anybody blame her, really? When you were this excited, extremely beautiful, empathetic and shiny human being?
You entered the kitchen, unaware of the ongoing dispute. Hot on your heels, you scanned the room and reacted to Natashas last sentence: “Did Steve forget the groceries? Are you hungry?”
And just like that, after merely 5 seconds, Natasha dreaded holding a grudge. Her whole demeanor snapped (no pun intended) and her eyes gazed almost neutrally into your warm gaze: “Someone emptied the whole peanut butter jar. And now I can’t make my dinner.”
Surprisingly, you sent her a goofy smile: “Oh! That must have been me, I’m extremely sorry, Tasha. I do have another half of my pbj sandwich left though, I was about to refrigerate it.”, you held up your plate. She gave it a look and panicked internally: were you really about to share your meal? As if gathering her freight, you again sent her a toothy smile and handed her the leftover half. “Enjoy!”, was all you stated, leaving both women standing around the kitchen isle. Plus the pbj sandwich, which Natasha stared at for longer than necessary. The corners of her mouth started to form a smile, which after some contemplation she insisted on not following through.
Wanda, who encountered the whole interaction, had a huge smirk on her face.
Natasha on the other hand, without having to look at her friends face, mentally face palmed herself for always getting so stuck up around you.
“Don’t.”
“I didn’t say anything… but enjoy your meal.”, with that, Wanda left a flushed Natasha stood in the compound’s kitchen.
The widow took another look at your, no her, plate. And after a year, she still can’t wrap her head around it:
What was she going to do about you?
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bumblesimagines · 1 year ago
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Imagine:
Being the Frey girl betrothed to Robb Stark
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Request: Yes or No
Did not intend for this to be long
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It was supposed to be the perfect day. Many little ladies dreamt of their weddings, dreamily wondering about their future husbands and the family they'd create together. Your dreams of the perfect wedding had been brief, crushed quickly under the boot of your father, Walder Frey, and you were forced to accept that you'd be marrying out of duty rather than true love.
There'd been some hope and a spark of relief when your sisters had rushed to your bedchambers, giddy and eager to speak of your betrothed: Lord Robb Stark of Winterfell. He had visited briefly and been allowed his pick of the litter, but when he provided no response, your father chose for him. You knew of the Starks of Winterfell. They were an honorable family and close as could be. And from the accounts of your sisters, Robb was a handsome man. Young, handsome, eyes blue as sapphires, pretty brown hair, and incredibly polite. You hadn't seen him as you'd been occupied the day of his visit, but everything your sisters told you filled you with glee. An honorable, kind husband who you'd surely fall in love with.
Or so you thought.
You'd been there when one of Walder's men had requested his time and spoke of Robb. The words that followed had sent you reeling, stomach twisting and heart shattering. Robb had a lover. A healer from Volantis named Talisa Maegyr. Your father's rage had been brief, calming when the man assured him Robb still planned on wedding you. He hadn't broken his promise to House Frey, and that had been enough for your father. You shouldn't have been surprised. Walder himself had fostered many bastards throughout his countless marriages.
"A man has needs." He'd said, curling his bony fingers around his ale and bringing it to his mouth. He cared little for the tears forming in your eyes. "I cannot fault him for that."
You spent the rest of the day weeping in your room with your sisters around you, murmuring comforts and trying to brighten your day.
"You'll be Lady Stark and Queen of the North soon, dear sister." One had attempted, a brush delicately going through your hair. "His mistress will be just that. A mistress."
But it hadn't been that. No, you wept because a mistress before the wedding had even been planned meant a loveless marriage where you'd have to battle for your husband's attention, battle to ensure you had his child first. You'd seen firsthand how much a loveless marriage affected a bride. Your father had many wives after the death of your own mother, each of them young and full of light that dimmed with each passing day until they were a hollow and empty shell. You wept for what could've been a happy future far from the grim place you called home.
But the sadness turned to bitterness and anger over night. The Stark's prided themselves on being loyal and honorable, sticking to their oaths and promises even if it meant putting their own happiness aside. Why couldn't Robb done that for you? Why had he taken a lover so quickly after the announcement of your incoming wedding? He hadn't cared about how shameful it would be for you. How humiliating. You'd be known as Lady (Y/N) of Winterfell, the woman who'd been cast aside before ever meeting her husband.
The wedding date had arrived sooner than later, something you loathed. You stared at the reflection in the mirror as both maids and kin tended to you. They brushed your hair, powdered your face, and tightened the wedding dress to your body while fawning over how beautiful of a wedding it'd be. They praised you at the end, gushing over how pretty of a bride you'd be. They hadn't thought to realize that Robb would be envisioning his little healer in your place when you walked down the isle.
You ensured to keep a stoic expression throughout the ceremony, not even mustering a smile for your husband when he lifted the veil and took in your appearance. His eyes, as pretty as described, had widened considerably and flickered over to the pews where his family sat. The ends of his mouth had quirked up into a smile and he muttered a soft 'my lady' before turning to the Septon. You would've scoffed if it weren't for the stare Walder gave you.
The ceremony went by in a breeze and you kept your stoic, cool composure, even when your father had lowly whispered for you to smile after being seated. He no longer had control over you. You relished in the thought. The only good thing that had allowed for you to have an appetite as Starks, Freys, and other allies celebrated. You spent most of the celebration searching for her until you noticed Catelyn Stark speaking with a young woman who stared at Robb hopelessly. Talisa, you presumed from the frankly exasperated look on Catelyn's face. She was pretty, you'd give him that.
"Are you feeling well?" Robb asked quietly and reached for your hand, delicately placing his over it and staring at you with knitted brows. You pulled your hand away swiftly and set it on your lap, eyes moving onto your beloved sisters to keep your emotions in check.
"No." You answered after a brief pause. Robb was handsome, incredibly so, but his presence alone irritated you. You had to act quick before the bedding ceremony took place, a tradition your father insisted on keeping alive. "I feel unwell, Lord Stark. I'm afraid I'll be retreating early."
"Shall I go with-"
Rising from your seat, you shook your head, still refusing to meet his eyes. "No, My Lord. That will not be necessary." You carefully lifted your dress and breezed past your father, ignoring the glare he speared into your back as you glided down the steps and toward the exit.
Slipping out into the familiar halls, you exhaled deeply and released your gown. It dragged along the stone floor, dark gray clashing with white. You itched to get out of it as soon as possible. The thought of burning it crossed your mind but it felt too childish, too improper of a lady.
"My Queen." A voice echoed down the hall and you halted. Queen of the North and Lady Stark of Winterfell. Right. Your new titles. No longer one of Walder's many overlooked daughters. You looked over your shoulder, spotting her auburn hair first, a signature trait of the Tully family. Catelyn Stark.
"My Lady." You greeted her, turning to face the older woman. She smiled sweetly, gazing at you with the warmth of a mother. Catelyn grew closer and took your hands into hers, smile turning into a shamed smile.
"I am deeply sorry for what my son has done." Her voice sounded sincere, full of guilt and shame. She shook her head. "I taught him better than that. He knows better than that. But rest assured, that woman will not cause problems for you."
You'd nearly forgotten. Eddard Stark had returned home from the war with a bastard son called Jon Snow and raised him as a trueborn alongside the rest of his children. You remembered the murmured rumors of how Catelyn detested him and had fostered a particular dislike for bastards. Perhaps that dislike extended to mistresses.
"She may share his bed, that is true. But he is my husband now, and as his wife, I have duties that I will not forget. I can assure you, Lady Stark, I will give your son an heir and do what needs to be done for House Stark to prosper, just as you have done these many years." Her eyes softened considerably, fingers lightly squeezing the palms of your hands.
"Oh, sweet child." Catelyn cooed gently and brought a hand to your cheek. You yearned for your mother's embrace, her soothing words. You pressed your lips together to keep them from trembling. "You shall make a wonderful queen and a wonderful wife. I... I will ensure Robb does his duties as husband. You need not stress over Talisa."
"I appreciate it, Lady Stark. I'm afraid I'll be heading to my- our bedchambers for the rest of the night. Please assure everyone that I am well." You pulled your hands from hers and lowered your head in respect to the monarch before turning and resuming your walk down the hall.
Another deep breath and you reached the one of the many guest bedchambers. Most of your belongings had been packed up for you, likely already sitting in Robb's tent out on the field. You dismissed the servants that offered to help you ready for bed, only agreeing to have a warm bath drawn so you could relax after the day's events.
Slipping out of your wedding dress, you watched it slump on the cool floor and stepped out of your shoes. You released your hair and ran your fingers through it as you dipped one leg into the bath and then the other. The water dug into your skin, easing away at the tension in your muscles. A soft sigh of relief escaped past your lips, shoulders dipping below the surface. You leaned your head back against the wall of the tub, eyes fluttering shut and mind forgetting about the day.
You would've stayed in the tub for the rest of the night, even slept in it, if it hadn't been for the sound of the door creaking open. Your eyes snapped open and you lifted your head, gazing down at the water as heavy boots stepped across the room. Robb passed by the tub, shedding his coat and draping it over a chair. You brought your knees up to your chest when he turned.
"I thought you would've been asleep by now." He spoke softly, undoing the buttons of his vest. "Are you feeling better?"
The consummation. You nearly grimaced. "No."
"Should I call for a maester?"
"It's likely nerves, My Lord."
"We're husband and wife now. You may call me Robb." He gave a boyish smile and you turned to look at the towel perfectly folded on the stool beside you. You reached for it and let it unravel outside of the tub, eyes jumping back to the Stark. Robb's fingers had paused on the last button, attention trained fully on you but when he noticed the icy look, he turned his back. You stood, the water sloshing around as you dried yourself and retrieved a nightgown.
"I would like to sleep in my old room tonight. It's likely the last time I'll see it."
"I'd like to believe that, (Y/N). But I am no fool. I am your husband, you may speak openly with me." Your jaw clenched at his words. He claimed to be no fool yet remained oblivious to your anger. "And I hope you'll grow comfortable enough to sleep at my side."
Picking up a candle, you lifted it to the lantern keeping the room lit and pulled away once the fire flickered onto the end of the wax. "I believe your lover would prefer otherwise, My Lord. I bid you goodnight."
He blinked. "(Y/N)-"
"I bid you goodnight."
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yourgentlegirlfriend · 4 days ago
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CONTENT WARNING!! religious aspects, use of father and in church, smut, please do not read if you don’t agree. thank you!
MY BLOG IS STRICTLY 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Summary: Father Charlie is fond of the new nun.
Authors note: Hi!! I know i haven’t posted in forever- but i wrote this and thought it would be pointless to not post it. i’m still actively taking requests due to the fact that i'm out on leave for work due to foot surgery :) so my inbox is open! love you guys.
The silent nun.
In a holy place you would think gossip was forbidden but- of course not. There was always talk.
When you first entered, everyone was so incredibly kind to you. Inviting you to every small gathering they’d have, even mentioning you by name in group prayer. You couldn’t remember what changed, they suddenly stopped knocking on your door asking if you had laundry. Not ringing your bell when dinner was ready. You were so thankful you praised a kind god who never made you feel alone.
There was one person who was still continuously kind to you. Father Charlie. It was odd seeing somebody so young be a priest, but his sermons were powerful, far more powerful than any older priest you’ve seen.
That’s why Sundays are always your favorite. You stand far off by the door leading to the housing area of the church, your eyes peeking out slightly to watch as Father Charlie shook hands. Your fingers making the wood creek as you gripped at the door frame, your one eye looking out.
“Sister”
A woman’s voice spoke, making you gasp, your hands flying to your sides as you turned to the one who called you seconds ago, an older woman who seemed to wander from the first entrance over by the gardens, a small basket in her hands.
“Blessed day, how can I help you?”
You tried not seem shaken, maybe you were just checking if the door frame was loose. The older lady handed you the basket, her finger shaking as she pointed over towards where Father Charlie said goodbye to everyone.
“Give those to the father- thank you dear.”
It was a bit odd to you, you looked down at the basket, just some cookies and muffins.. you turned to assure her they would be delivered but she was already walking out past the gate, your eyebrows frowned as you watched her push it open. The sound of the heavy front doors closing made you focus back on the pews, your eyes flicking to see Father Charlie walking back down the isle way.
“Father”
You spoke out as you stepped from the doorway, putting on a gentle smile as you noticed his eyes shoot to you. Your hands gripped at the basket as you walked to him, handing him the woven handle.
“A nice woman came to give these to you but saw you were preoccupied.”
Father Charlie’s eyes shot down to look at the basket, nodding his head as he shifted through it.
“Well thank you sister. How kind of you to handle some business for me. I'm incredibly busy today- in fact..”
Father Charlie clicked his tongue as he stepped back up onto the alter, flipping through a bible a few times before sighing.
“I’m glad you’re here because I was going to try and pull you aside during dinner tonight but you showed up.”
The man spoke with a smile as he leaned on the small stand in front of him. Was his tone teasing? There was no way he saw you in the door frame, he cleared his throat as he pointed over to the door frame.
“As for me and my house, we serve the lord.”
Father Charlie’s voice echoed through the now empty church. Your hands nervously playing a loose string from your outfit. Why is he repeating verses to you?
He closes the bible and hands it to you, your eyebrows frowning as you realize.. it’s yours. You must have left it in one of the pews and he found it. He didn’t say a word, his silence heavy as he walked over to the confessional, looking back at you for a second as he opened the door.
“I will be waiting, Sister.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you tried not to seem frantic as you opened the bible. All the pages full of your notes had been highlighted. He read them all. Read through your trouble with sin. Parts of you felt violated, you couldn’t believe he would do such a thing. Then you remembered maybe he was looking out for you. He just wants everyone to be faithful, especially in the church. Your shoes clicked against the wooden floor as you stepped up the aisle way and towards the confessional, your bible still in hand as you sat down in the booth, listening to the door click close.
The faint echoing of your heels in your head makes you remember.
Times where you were unfaithful, untied. regret laying heavy in your heart daily.
“I should’ve left the congregation.”
Your words echo softly through the small booth, Charlie’s tapping of his shoes suddenly stopping.
The memories coming back as it started very similar to this.
The booth door slamming as father charlie shoved you into the small crowded area.
You could’ve protested- you should’ve protested.
How could you when his rough hands pushed the coverings of your skirt up, your eyes darting around the dimly lit space. He was far too silent, a low growl rumbling in his throat as he tugged the fabric of your panties aside.
It was wrong, you had a duty, so did he, you thought he knew this?…
The lewd sound of his tongue running over your folds shocked you back out of your thoughts, your thigh going to lock around his head but he read the room quickly, shoving you back onto the small bench as both his hands hooked under your thighs.
“Father-“
“Stop speaking.”
The man mumbled into your flesh as his fingers found their way up your thighs as he spread you open more.
It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did, your hands gripping at the small handles on the walls next to you as a shaky breath left your throat.
Gluttony it’s a sin, you though as he lapped hungrily at you, like he hadn’t eaten in days. And he somehow never missed a spot, your heels digging into his shoulders as you finally built the courage to look down at him.
Almost like he knew you’d be looking his eyes open, his pupils blown so wide you could’ve sworn his eyes were colored black. The loud moan that left your lips made his thick eyebrows frown, his hand rubbing up your stomach, making sure he touched every inch of your skin, covered or not it didn’t matter to him. His palm tapping your face before the rough padding of his fingers slipped past your bottom lip, his body pulling in closer to you as he felt your hips push into his face.
The burning in your stomach grew rapidly as his tongue laid flat against you, your thighs shaking with every lick, your vision becoming spotty as your head tilted back as his fingers hooked into your mouth.
The moment the coil in your stomach snapped, his tongue shot down, making sure he got every last drop of you as your head shot back, your eyes fixating at the crucifix right above the two of you.
Spit falls from your lips as he stands up, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth, shoving your panties in his pocket as he quickly wipes his face, exiting like nothing happened..
And now you were in the booth again, separated by the small gated window.
“All we can do is pray for our forgiveness, Sister. Please don’t be afraid to put your faith.. in his hands.”
Father Charlie’s voice made your head nod as you stared down at the rosary in your hand
“You are faithful, and he values you.”
Your hands shook a bit as you let go of the rosary and stood, hurriedly exiting the booth and basically running down the pew.
How could you ask for forgiveness, for this? Especially if you craved it more than you’d like to admit.
Your eyes shot down at the bible as you stop in the middle of the hallway, flipping to the bookmarked page.
‘Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted’
your eye twitching as you looked down the hall that lead to the pew, and there stood father charlie, small ladle in his hand as he put the candles out, his eyes shifting over to your form.
Shutting the book you stared back at him, the sound of your heels clicking filling the long hallway once again as you hurried your way away from his sights.
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battyaboutbooksreviews · 16 days ago
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🖤🩶🤍💜 Happy Ace Week, Bookish Bats!
❓ What was the last book you read that featured asexual characters? If it's been a while, here are a few to consider adding to your TBR!
🖤 Aces Wild - Amanda Dewitt 🩶 Loveless - Alice Oseman 🤍 That Kind of Guy - Stephanie Archer 💜 We Awaken - Calista Lynne 🖤 The Kindred - Alechia Dow 🩶 Scavenge the Stars - Tara Sim 🤍 Fire Becomes Her - Rosiee Thor 💜 A Snake Falls to the Earth - Darcie Little Badger 🖤 Forward March - Skye Quinlan 🩶 The Romantic Agenda - Claire Kann 🤍 The Reckless Kind - Carly Heath 💜 Summer Bird Blue - Akemi Dawn Bowman
🖤 The Charm Offensive - Alison Cochrun 🩶 Meet Cute Diary - Emery Lee 🤍 Cupid Calling - Viano Oniomoh 💜 The Bruising of Qilwa - Naseem Jamnia 🖤 The Loudest Silence - Sydney Langford 🩶 Kiss Her Once for Me - Alison Cochrun 🤍 So Let Them Burn - Kamilah Cole 💜 Dear Wendy - Ann Zhao 🖤 Exes & Foes - Amanda Woody 🩶 The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray - Christine Calella 🤍 Firebreak - Nicole Kornher-Stace 💜 Never Been Kissed - Timothy Janovsky
🖤 Bury Your Gays - Chuck Tingle 🩶 Baker Thief - Claudie Arseneault 🤍 The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester - Maya MacGregor 💜 The Story of the Hundred Promises - Neil Cochrane 🖤 Adrift Starlight - Mindi Briar 🩶 Help Wanted - J. Emery 🤍 If You Still Recognize Me - Cynthia So 💜 Bad At Love - Gabriela Martins 🖤 The End Crowns All - Bea Fitzgerald 🩶 The Winter Knight - Jes Battis 🤍 The Meister of Decimen City - Brenna Raney 💜 It Sounds Like This - Anna Meriano
🖤 Fallen Thorns - Harvey Oliver Baxter 🩶 Don't Let the Forest In - C.G. Drews 🤍 Just Lizzie - Karen Wilfrid 💜 The Siren the Song and the Spy - Maggie Tokuda-Hall 🖤 Wren Martin Ruins It All - Amanda Dewitt 🩶 She Who Became the Sun - Shelley Parker-Chan 🤍 Poisoned Primrose - Dahlia Donovan 💜 How You Get the Girl - Anita Kelly 🖤 Lord of the Empty Isles by Jules Arbeaux 🩶 Moth to a Flame - Finn Longman 🤍 Little Thieves - Margaret Owen 💜 Someone You Can Build a Nest In - John Wiswell
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rosieethor · 9 months ago
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Aromantic Books Let's Go!
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Dread Nation by Justina Ireland
The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath
Black Wings Beating by Alex London
This Dark Descent by Kalyn Josephson
The Siren, the Song, and the Spy by Maggie Tokuda-Hall
Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor
Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer
This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria
Immoral Code by Lillian Clark
Tarnished are the Stars by Rosiee Thor
The Last 8 by Laura Pohl
Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie
Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman
Loveless by Alice Oseman
Take Me To Your Nerdy Leader by Hailey Gonzales
Being Ace edited by Madeline Dyer
Queerly Loving edited by G Benson and Astrid Ohletz
Common Bonds edited by Claudie Arseneault, C T Callahan, and RoAnna Sylver
Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria
Godly Heathens by H. E. Edgmon
The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl
The Butterfly Assassin by Finn Longman
At the End of Everything by Marieke Nijkamp
Switchback by Danika Stone
Tell Me How It Ends by Quinton Li
Awakenings by Claudie Arsenault
Stake Sauce by RoAnna Sylver
The Ice Princess's Fair Illusion by Dove Cooper
The Threads That Bind by Cedar McCloud
Not Your backup by C. B. lee
Fallen Thorns by Harvey Oliver Baxter
Natural Outlaws and Fractured Sovereignty by S. M. Pearce
Wander the Night by Sydney Cobb
Stones Stay Silent by Danny Ride
The Story of the Hundred Promises by Neil Cochrane
Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver
The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia
An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows
Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace
Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace
Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel
Syncopation by Anna Zabo
Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao
The Loudest Silence by Sydney Langford
Lord of the Empty Isles by Jules Arbeaux
Our Deadly Designs by Kalyn Josephson
The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray by Christine Calella
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celtigxr · 2 months ago
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The Pink Dread (Master List) - - - - - ch. x: What a Pity
Chapter Summary: Helaena tells Valeana something she doesn't want to hear. And Floris tells Aemond something that he does.
Word count: 3979
Sneak Peak: “I once saw him watch her from the courtyard as she was walking past the second floor balconies. He couldn’t take his eyes off her!” 
Warnings: I'm sorry, y'all are gonna still hate Aemond a little bit longer 😬 don't shoot me. *Fatphobia (forgot to put this in earlier)
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T H E   R E D S
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Valeana couldn’t remember all the details of the events of the previous night. She knew what had occurred, but her sense of time was off. She didn’t remember how she got to Aegon’s chambers; her first memory was his hands grounding her and his voice pulling her back from the fog. Of all people, Aegon Targaryen was the last person she would have believed to have done that for her. 
Helaena was pulled from her bed, and with a surprising amount of clarity and consciousness, took the reins from her brother. Helaena was gentle as she took Valeana to her bed, tucked her in, and even got her lavender tea. The rest of the night, the princess spent combing through her hair until they both fell asleep. 
It would have probably saved Val a headache had she insisted on being brought back to her bedchambers, but ultimately it was probably the best she remained with Helaena. It was the most peaceful, dreamless sleep she had in a while. Instead of waking up to Shyla’s repetitive singing, or Floris’ shrill yelling for her to get out of bed, it was Helaena’s gentle hums as she plaited her hair, the distant chirps of birds outside and crickets in miniature cages.
Her empty bed sent a wave of panic for her family, which quickly was nipped in the bud when she arrived before their first meal with the princess. Helaena helped her explain what happened, gently, and with very few details and small truths. Valeana confessed she had fallen and it had triggered something in her mind, but she didn’t evoke Aemond’s name, nor had she told them it was Aegon who had found her. Helaena told them that she did, and then brought her back to her quarters, because it was closer. 
“I understand her mind,” the princess told Lord Bartimos. “It is similar to my own. I knew how to take care of her.”
Bartimos and Ursula thanked her from the bottom of their hearts, and Helaena simply nodded and told them it was her pleasure. She didn’t leave as Valeana’s family fretted over her; she sat patiently, head tilted with a gentle smile upon her soft face. 
Valeana’s father fretted over her leg, making sure she wasn’t wounded, then started to make arrangements for a raven to be sent back to Claw Isle to commission a new prosthetic to be promptly made. One made of sturdier wood, with stronger joints and sculpted more elegantly. Clement simply took his sister’s shoulders in his hands and leveled his eyes with hers, asking in earnest if she was truly well. She nodded stiffly, and while he did not truly believe it, he accepted her answer. Shyla’s face was white with concern, and she paced around the room berating herself for not realizing her sister was gone sooner.
“I should have known! No snoring! Oh, how sound a sleep I was…”
Ursula caged her in her arms, hand running through the crown of Valeana’s head as she pressed her cheek to her breast. Her eyes were dewy with worry and the knowledge that she was not there for her. While not her birth mother, Ursula had assumed the duty of being Valeana and Clement’s mother like she was born to do it. It had pained her almost as much as Bartimos when she learned what happened to her through a raven, and it was torturous watching Valeana allow herself to waste away in her room for all those years. 
Then there was Arthor, who lingered in the archway that separated his shared bed chambers with his brother. He remained silent, like an observing crow on a lamppost. Floris was just as quiet, but she was a simmering pot of water in the corner. Her frown aged her, putting lines at the corner of her lips and around her eyes and between her furrowed brow. Her unblinking leer was glued onto her step sister and her mother. 
Her mother.
And Heleana watched her. She watched how her lips disappeared under her teeth, and her fingers stiffly curled into her gown, reminding Helaena of the twitching legs of black widow spiders. 
When Bartimos insisted on having Valeana shadow him that day, to keep an eye on her, Helaena sat straight and asked if she could accompany her instead. Bartimos couldn’t deny the princess of the realm, and Val mouthed words of gratitude towards her. 
The two girls ended up between the protective roots of the Heart Tree in the Godswood. Helaena sat cross legged as she examined a fat green caterpillar that was devouring the tomato in her hand. Valeana was on the other side of a large root, laying flat on her black, her legs crossed at the ankles and her arms behind her head as she stared up at the crooked and bent branches of the the weirwood tree, and how the sun shone through the leaves, creating splotches of red shadows that coloured everything beneath it. 
“This is the one thing I truly missed about King’s Landing,” Valeana spoke, breaking the prolonged comfortable silence they had built. “We don’t have a godswood at Claw Isle, and no weirwoods.”
Helaena hummed, eyes still glued onto the little creature in her hand, “It misses you too, the tree.”
Val craned her neck to look at the princess, allowing a brief pause before she asked: “How do you know?”
“I just do,” the answer came immediately, almost like she had answered that question millions of times before. “I don’t know how I know… I just know things. They come to me in odd ways. Like last night, I dreamt I was running down the corridor outside our apartments, crying in pain. Then I woke up, and Aegon was there telling me that it was you who was running in the corridors in pain.” Helaena pulled her attention away from the caterpillar and regarded Valeana with a neutral stare. “I am sorry for what happened, Valeana. But you must know it was a mistake.”
Val remained on the ground, staring at the princess with a furrow in her brow. She understood why others thought Helaena was mad; she said many things that made little sense. But she was kind-hearted, soft, and Val severely doubted that she would make up stories in order to make herself look mysterious and wise. Even without evidence, Valeana believed her. And without context, Valeana understood who she was referring to. 
But accepting her words was still difficult to swallow. 
“He hates me,” Val stated in a small voice.
“He wants your forgiveness.”
Valeana sat up straight, hands migrating to grip the roots that embrace her body, “He attempted once at the request of the King, and since then he has been nothing but vile to me, and at best he has avoided me, Helaena. If this is his way of vying for my forgiveness, he has a queer way of doing things.”
Helaena doesn’t answer right away, instead she directs her attention back to the tomato in her hand, now a quarter of the way eaten by the finger-sized caterpillar. 
“I know my brothers quite well. Better than they know themselves,” She brought the fruit up to her eye level as she examined the insect’s mouth. “Aemond will never listen to his heart, no matter how much it screams at him. He will shut down before he allows it to win over his mind, because he sees it as a weakness. I had to witness him abandon his heart after what he had done to you back then. The same thing happened again last night.” 
Valeana just stared at her, a lump in her throat and tears glossing her eyes. Her initial fall and her friendship with Aemond was a topic she wished never to think about. For years, it plagued both her mind and heart, sending her into a spiral of darkness that she did not believe she would be able to free herself from. When she got better – when she started to walk – she found that hobbies and work were the best distractions. Keeping her mind busy with other pursuits left no room for Aemond. Eventually she’ll hear his name from a neighbouring conversation and realize she hadn’t thought about it in moons. 
Though all that effort came crumbling down the moment the King’s invitation arrived, and now Valeana had to come to the painful realization that the wound had never actually healed. The betrayal was still fresh, the heartache still there like a crater formed from a violent earthquake. She had tried to mask it through veiled indifference and avoidance, but there he was, reminding her of how much he dislikes her at every turn. Continuously validating her every insecurity, and forcing her to armour herself in hatred for him. 
But the truth… the agonizing truth of it was…
Valeana could never hate him. Not her Aemond; not the boy who had held her hand while they scaled down steep hills, or bandaged her bleeding fingers from needle pricks, or surprised her with gifts and treats in complete spontaneity. No, she loved that Aemond. She mourned for that Aemond. 
As if she could read Val’s thoughts, Helaena broke the silence, “You miss him, I can see it. Your Aemond is still here… He’s the same boy you loved, Valeana. Just older, more scarred, and hidden away.”
Valeana shook her head and quickly wiped a stray tear that escaped and rolled down to her chin, “He’s not the same, Helaena. We’re not the same. I–I do…I do miss him. I miss our friendship, but–” She swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head again before directing her eyes onto her laced fingers. Val pulled her knees up to rest her chin on them, “He’s too far away, I do not think I could reach him. Mistake or no, his actions last night was a clear enough display of how much he desires to push me away from him… Like a bad memory.” 
“Valeana…” Helaena’s tone of voice sounded almost reprimanding, even in its softness. “You’ve pushed him away the moment he spoke to you.”
“You do not need to make this more difficult than it needs to be.”
Val squeezed her eyes shut at the sour memory of their first meal reunited. It felt like so long ago. Now she felt embarrassed by herself and how sour and vindictive she was from day one. It was a bitter tonic to swallow, to realize that had she been civil on that first day, all of this would not have happened. Had she taken Aemond’s olive branch —had she been the better person, instead of consumed by resentment— they might have at least found some sort of cordial co-existence, and perhaps one day they could renew their friendship. While her childhood heartbreak was difficult to forget, she always knew in the deepest pit of her chest that she still longed for him. She wanted nothing more than to feel his hand in hers again. 
Valeana took in a shockingly sharp inhale, “Fuck.” 
She hated having to admit that she was wrong. She hated even more having to admit to herself that she still loved Aemond Targaryen. 
Helaena’s hand found her shoulder, “You know what you have to do.”
She does… But somehow she doubts that it will fix anything. How could she ever get him to open up to her, when his pride and resolve was made out of Valyrian steel? 
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Floris Grafton was a woman with simple tastes. She was content with floating around the Holdfast or the gardens, conversing with other ladies of the court. Floris loved gossip, or rather craved it more like. She missed King’s Landing purely for the gossip she would overhear the court ladies say when she was a child. Claw Isle was dull when it came to juicy morsels for her to sink her teeth into. In the past there weren’t many young ladies at the Keep outside her own sisters, so Floris sought out the company of the adult women of the court during her childhood. Sure, she spent many an afternoon chasing after the four princes, but during the moments when they were at the Dragon Pit or training or doing what boys do, Floris much preferred sitting with the adults. 
Her presence was often a nuisance to them, since they couldn’t speak on topics not appropriate for youthful ears, but Floris would refuse to leave. With her own mother at Claw Isle for moons at a time, she desperately sought the companionship of the other mothers of court, especially the Queen. When it came to the crown princess, Rhaenyra, she did not have as much of a close relationship as she would have liked. The heir seemed far more aware of her uninvited presence and wanted her away from adult conversations. 
But then Rhaenyra preferred Valeana’s company. Floris bristled at the memory. The Princess always loved her sister’s chubby cheeks and loved to plait her thick ivory hair. Everyone loved Valeana more than her… even her own mother. 
Floris’ face twisted hideously at this thought. She was lucky that the Royal Sept was near empty when she entered it, because Floris was not hiding her expressions in the slightest.
She knelt down in front of an altar filled with melted candles, the image of the Maiden hovering above her. Instead of prayers, she muttered curses and heated insults. She took a match, lit it with the nearest candle and lit another with it, in her own name. 
When Floris left, she did not feel any sense of relief. Her prayers to the Maiden were riddled with sour thoughts and imaginings of Valeana’s hair cut all off, or her peachy stomach bursting out from a tight corset. Generally, these intrusive thoughts were infrequent, but it had picked up a considerable amount when they returned to King’s Landing. Praying to the Maiden and the Mother was her only moment to keep her peace of mind; she would pray for her success in finding a marriage, for love and beauty and all things an unmarried lady longs for. Though that day was different… Her spoiled, attention-seeking step sister just had to occupy more space in her mind. 
Floris gripped her burgundy gown in a vice as she descended down the Serpentine Steps that lead to the lower courtyard. Her head was bowed, watching her feet and trying to keep her step sure footed whilst having fake conversations in her mind. That was her unspoken hobby; she always thought of conversations that never existed, or possibly could exist, where everything she said was witty and unchallenged. Many of them focused on her taking Valeana off her high horse, or putting her parents in their place, or being the center of a party where everyone was hanging off her word as if she spoke the gospel of the Gods. 
She very nearly lost herself in her little day dream, but with the sound of footsteps climbing up the stairs her attention was pulled back to reality. Pausing at the half landing, Floris took the moment to curtsey when Prince Aemond crossed her path. 
“My Prince,” she spoke demurely, but her forehead was still stitched with the annoyances of that morn. She seldom crossed paths with Aemond, so she wasted no time in pulling him in small talk. “How is your day fairing?” 
He gives her a curt nod, barely sparing her a look, “Lady Floris. It is fairing as much as any day.”
Her head tilted at the tone he used. She knew Aemond to be a stoic and serious prince, but his voice was always levelled and composed. Now she could hear a hint of frustration in the graininess coming from the back of his throat, much like a growl. 
Floris may be a woman of simple tastes, but she was not simple minded. She was quite intelligent, quite cunning, a skill she seemed to always have but didn’t realize and appreciate until she was a woman grown. She knew she was not a beauty, but her mind more than made up for it. 
“Oh dear,” she said carefully, eyes examining the stiff muscles of his face. “I hope it is not bold of me to ask, my Prince, but does something weigh on your mind?” 
She was treading murky waters, she knew, but the gears behind her eyes were working diligently, meticulously, as she watched Aemond closely. Aemond, the one who maimed her step sister; Aemond, who extended the first branch of peace on their first day, who was promptly rejected foolishly by the same step sister. The greatest point of tension in the Red Keep was the broken and strained relationship between Valeana Celtigar and Prince Aemond. While not much had not happened in the last sinnight, the whispers were hard to ignore. 
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive him? Poor dear, I just see him every day drowning in distractions ever since they got here.”  “I once saw him watch her from the courtyard as she was walking past the second floor balconies. He couldn’t take his eyes off her!”  “Neither can Prince Aegon!” “Oh, oh, don’t get me started on that!” “I heard from Lady Perra, who heard from her maid, that she spotted Prince Aegon pull Valeana into a closet with him!” “No! The Scandal! Surely that can’t be true!”  “That must be what that whole show was about in the training yard. My boy was training there that day, and saw the whole thing! They were at each other’s throats. Men only fight that way over the hand of a woman.” “Oh, to be desired by not one, but two Targaryen Princes! What a lucky young lady.”
Oh, what a lucky young lady indeed. Valeana doesn’t even wish to be married, let alone married to a bloody Targaryen prince. And why in all the Realm would they both hold interest in her? Her step sister might have lost 5 stone, but she was still fat. She did well covering it up with all those skirt layers and stiff bodices, but Floris knew what she looked like underneath it all. She was one of the few who did. Large thighs and a pouch stomach that reminded her of an apron, and her heavy breasts and soft biceps were striped with stretch marks. No, her step sister did not have the body of the Maiden. What a disappointment her future betrothed will have once he lies with her.
All this attention for her fat step sister disgusted her. Valeana did not deserve it, and she especially did not deserve two fucking princes fighting over her! 
“What weighs on my mind is not of your concern, Floris,” he still didn’t look at her directly, which irked her. The tick in his jaw and the shuffle of his feet betrayed his need to remove himself from her presence. 
She decided to ignore his statement. Her large doe eyes narrowed a bit as she chose her next words carefully. 
“If it is about Valeana, Prince Aemond, it should please you to know you do not need to worry about her health.” What she said had the desired effect. He looked down at her and a shadow went over his eye, casted by his strong nose. Floris kept her eye contact, “She is well.”
The way his nostrils flared told her she plucked the correct chord. 
“And why would I worry about her health?”
“Apologies. I thought you were aware… Princess Helaena returned her to our apartments earlier this morn, claiming she had a fit and allowed her to stay in her quarters.”
His eyes narrowed at her, and his chin slowly tilted, “You speak as if you do not believe it.”
“Because I don’t.”
Aemond turned to face Floris fully now, “Why wouldn’t you believe it?”
Floris shrugged a single slender shoulder, “I know my sister. She hungers for attention… I do not believe she had any sort of fit in the halls,” she rolled her eyes at the idea. “I’m sure she acted out one, for whatever damned reason.”
His eye narrowed a bit, and she wondered if he was dissecting this interaction as much as she was. It gave her a little thrill at the prospect that he was – she had yet to meet anyone to match her intellect. 
“Valeana does not like attention. She abhors being the center of it.”
Floris raised an eyebrow at him, “You speak as if you are still chums. I’ll have you know, my Prince, she is not the same girl you once knew. When we returned to Claw Isle all those years ago, everyone was at her beck and call. She got carted around on a liter like some spoiled fat Dornish princess. I guess she got addicted to the attention so much it changed her character. She got lazy, forced people to do things for her, and when no one was regarding her for a second, she would pull something childish ploy to ensure everyone was fretting over her. It never changed after all this time – she still pulls stunts like this to get pity.”
Aemond leaned back against the balustrade, crossing his ankles and arms. “And why are you sharing this with me?”
He was assessing her, she knew, trying to piece together her motives. Though she had little doubt that her motives to besmirch her step sister would be any different to his own with Aegon. They were the same in that way. Perhaps that is why she found herself approaching him, a step too close to be proper. 
“Valeana will try to guilt trip you and never offer you the absolution that you need to appease your father’s wishes. It’s her little revenge, I suppose, whilst receiving what she desperately craves from everyone else: pity. Quite childish, if you ask me.” Floris extends her neck, nose pointed in the air as she continues with an overtly formal curtsey. “But as your humble servant, my Prince, I feel it is my duty to warn you about her intentions. And as an old friend, I do not wish to see you painted as a villain or a fool.” 
Aemond pursed his lips and lifted his chin as he gave a soft, “Hm”. His eye was assessing her still, and Floris did her best to keep eye contact, lest she betray her fibs from lack of confidence in them. In her world they were true of course, but she knew in the deepest pit in her chest that she exaggerated and stretched the truth. Oh, her step sister loved getting coddled, but other than being resolute in her bitter resentment, Valeana wasn’t smart enough to concoct an intricate plan of revenge that involved emotional manipulation. That was all Floris’ genius. 
His head tilted the other way, making it obvious that something clicked in his mind. He gave a little nod and stepped off the balustrade, letting his arms fall to his side, “Thank you for sharing this information with me, Lady Floris. It has been… illuminating. And I am grateful.” 
Floris smiled, the ends of her lips twitching, threatening to pull them into an impish grin as she watched her seeds start to take root. 
“It is my pleasure, Prince Aemond.”
He regarded her for a moment, and she felt a heat bloom from her bosom up to her neck and then ears. 
“If it does not impede on your time, Floris, would you care to join me on a walk around the courtyard? I wish to pick your brain.” 
Oh, that just went straight to her cunt. 
Not able to control her grin any longer, she nodded eagerly, “Pick away, my Prince.”
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Notes: Please, just let me cook. It's a long story, we aight even halfway done, my loves.
Tag: @queen-of-elves, @keylin1730, @anakilusmos, @weepingfashionwritingplaid, @sugutoad, @desireangel
( if you wish to be tagged for this story, just give me a reply! )
Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.
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aroaessidhe · 7 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
Lord of the Empty Isles
sci-fi/fantasy
set on a supposedly utopian planet recovering from a climate crisis, where bonds between people are able to be seen and manipulated (by some people)
follows a young man whose brother was cursed and killed by an infamous outlaw 5 years ago, and he’s finally able to curse him back - but it rebounds, as he’s somehow fatebound to the outlaw
to find a cure and save them both they have to team up, and he quickly finds out that the resources the outlaw is stealing go to the thousands of people neglected on prison planets, and he has to go against what he thought was right to help them
no romance, aroace MC, focus on platonic relationships
arc from netgalley, out june 6
#Lord of the Empty Isles#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this quite a bit! But I think it could have gone a bit further in places.#It has some interesting concepts and a great cast of characters and yay no romance#I do have a lot of thoughts and little critiques...#it's p obvious where the plot is going and what's going to happen#There’s clearly a lot gone into developing this bond system but to be honest I still don’t entirely get it?#It seems to emphasise that the bonds just reflect connections between people rather than predetermine anything; but also the plot kind of#hinges on Remy and Idrian having a predetermined bond? There are a lot of explanations of intricacies but a lot of it didn’t sink in idk#It’s promoted as QP but to me it reads as a general platonic relationship. I generally expect a depiction of a QPR to have like..#some form of acknowledgement/depiction of the form of their relationship being a particular (undefinable?) kind#with some specific level of commitment? I’m being picky maybe they mean queerplatonic themes/vibes rather than saying it’s a qpr#specifically. the centred platonic relationship is good! it doesn't seem like a qpr to me; at most what could one day be that#also things are solved quite quickly and easily in the end - both the curse and the downfall of the bad guy.#I feared it would go down the route of blaming things on the person in charge rather than emphasising systemic issues which it kinda does….#It’s impossible to ignore right now just how deeply people are willing to believe dehumanising propaganda - and how 'telling the truth'#and exposing the person in power as bad doesn’t actually do anything so that happening here made me go…… oh okay. well.#there is room for a sequel that maybe will explore this tho. idk#complaints aside - I do recommend this! It was fun and pretty unique.#aroace books#no romance
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siremasterlawrence · 1 year ago
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Alternative Lifestyle: My Fallen Angel
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Trapping Angel is the most exciting thing in the world one day when I was laying in the grass of a private garden area on the estate of my old family home as I explained the light of the sky.
The stars in the sky are blowing up in a sea of next in a super crazy storm blowing up in my face as the sky spins giving me a load of a massive headache leaving me spinning in the midst of it.
A shooting star falls from the sky in a golden arrow like hot trajectory smashing in to the isle lawn of my ground as it opens up in to a wide hole growing up covering up all of the land.
The entirety of my home is left in a shred as it dishevels the land roaming under my like a tunnel cracking open with the light burning from under me a strange man rises to the mainland.
Clearly I am lost not expecting to see him be able to stand up tall to full height with these bright eyes, bold expression, and wings that goes for miles and I can’t believe the white light.
I knew I am having a religious experience at this point he stares down at me offering a hand for me to take and help me up to my feet once more and he tightens his grasp on my hand.
“Do you comprehend this experience?”
“This is a religious experience and you are an angel.”
“Absolutely correct! Why am I here?”
“This is my next question”
“You are a chosen one”
“Am I? What is this some sort of hell?”
“Far from it”
“I am here with a offer”
“Excuse me!”
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“One time only”
“I get it”
“Great! Take my hand, close your eyes and make a wish.”
I shake my head sighing a bit taking both of his hands in mine as a flow of energy over took me swirling in to the air with a cooling effect connecting us on one line surging in between us.
Something is off though my mind begins to lose it suddenly my body shoots upward in to the sky as my mind transfers in to my oh so hateful neighbor.
Across the street my soak soars pushes all the way past his window in to his bedroom where he is wasting time standing in front of the mirror posing his body in all sort of position.
The angel frowns knowing that I want to see him pay for what he did to me but he knows the deal it’s to give me whatever I want and whatever I wish to happen plain and simple for me.
Angel stares at me shaking his head he look up to the sky raising his finger in to the air as he waves his hand as the room fades from existence and all his left is three of us in a empty white space.
Mason Anlen suddenly woke up from a true deep soul trance by flailing in to an old and lengthy anxiety ridden panic attack holding his chest, breathing harder and backing in to the chair.
“Who are you ? You did this dweeb”
“Fuck! Stop!”
“How the fuck did you ?”
“Shut the fuck up”
“Bastard”
“Fall to your knees”
“Pathetic! Like the pig you are”
“Make your wish “
“I wish my guardian angel…”
“You cannot place an angel in…”
“Zip it! Immediately “
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“In fact! I wish you would become powerful blank slate to your core replacing Mason Anlen in the timeline”
“Hold on! Now wait just a damn blasted second.”
“I am your lord and Master”
“Obey”
“I…no…aaaahhhhhhh”
“You rewrote the rules”
“I shall commence “
“Oh My God!”
“Can I help you?”
“You corrupted me”
“I remade you “
“In your image “
“I am so powerful “
“You are everything “
“I own you now”
“ I love it “
“I worship you”
“Thank you for this body “
“It’s perfection”
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The end
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ophelieverse · 2 years ago
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Can you write something where reader parents wants her to marry Jace but she doesn’t want to marry to end up miserable like her mother?But in the and she is surprised about how well he treats her?
۵To be his.
Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!reader.
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Mommy issues anyone?Reader has my heart and Jace is a total sweetheart.I got a little carried away,sorry.Thanks for requesting and i hope you’ll like it💕💕(sorry for the errors).
•••••••••••••••••••••••
House Celtigar of Claw Isle was a ancient and proud house,with the blood of old Valyria in its veins,they were not dragon lords but men of honor and who kept their word.They had ruled over Claw Isle,an island in the narrow sea off the coast of Crackclaw point,since the Conquest of the Seven Kingdoms.
As a family sworn to Dragon Stone and to the Crownlands,Lord Bartimos Celtigar was a member of Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen Black council as her majesty’s Maester of Coin.He was unrelenting,incorruptible,ingenious,and very wealthy,an old man who,like his ancestors,kept all his promises.
«May i speak to Lord Celtigar alone?»the Queen had ordered,shortly after her coronation.
The war room in the Dragon Stone Castle was full with people,allies,knights,the royal family,who were roaming around the wooden carved table,placing down signals,and discussing about the next move.
King Viserys I the peaceful was dead and two of his children,his first daughter,the rightful and named heir,and his first born son,the usurper,were both crowned and declared Queen and King of the Seven Kingdoms.The realm was divided in two and a war was coming closer any day.
«Of course,your grace.»Lord Celtigar answered immediately,bowing his head.
As soon as the room was empty,the Queen spoke again«Your family has served the crown for years»she started with a firm voice,even though her beautiful features seemed worried«And you have served my father for all his reign,doing a wonderful job»she stated.
Lord Celtigar nodded his head«You honor me,your grace.»
The Queen smiled forcefully,fidgeting with the long sleeve of her dark dress«Alicent will ask your alliance,to have at least a possibility to gain control over the narrow sea.»she spoke all her worries without blinking.
Lord Celtigar already suspected it,Rhaenyra had already put her hands to the naval fleet of the sea snake but to have the complete domain of the narrow sea she also had to have the Celtigar one.His House had sworn it loyalty to the royal one,but now that it was divided it wasn’t so obvious anymore.
«The Queen mother had already sent her raven,this morning.»Lord Celtigar explained«She had an interesting offer.»he continued,with a low voice and looking straight in her purple eyes.
Lord Celtigar was no fool,he knew that the Black Queen and the Rogue Prince could had his tongue or his head for treason for this,for just thinking about betraying them in their home.But in a delicate time like that,in a time where history had it’s eyes on them and all the most important names would’ve been remembered,he couldn’t let himself escape an opportunity like that one.Before Aegon I Conquest his family was considered a joke for the Valyrian ancestry,they were not dragon lords,their banners were silver with crabs on it and when they first took Claw Isle their people refused to accept them as their rulers.
Lord Celtigar always kept his word,he had swore his loyalty to King Viserys,but he was also ambitious and a smart men who was graced by the gods with a beautiful and more intelligent daughter,to move on the board like a piece of chess.
The Queen looked uneasy,she could had killed him there,in a blink of an eye,but she didn’t wanted to be the first one to spill blood and she didn’t wanted to bring on herself the chance to loose the complete control by sea«Which it was?»she wasn’t asking,she was demanding it to know.
«She wanted to marry my daughter to her son,the King.»Lord Celtigar said,taking out from his pocket a piece of paper and handing it to her.
Rhaenyra eyes darted to on the small page,reading the black ink that her once best friend wrote personally«Aegon has a wife already.»she reminded him immediately,her pupils were shiny and her heart was beating fast.
Fear and betrayal consuming her,leaving her powerless with an incoming war at her doorstep and allies to find as soon as possible.
«Your ancestors,the first King,had married both of his sisters.»Lord Celtigar started to talk quietly,moving around the table and tracing with his fingers Claw Isle«Maegor the Cruel was known for having a peculiar taste and likeness in different women.»he noticed,remembering the history.
Rhaenyra breathed deeply,crumpling the traitors letter in her fist where it was written that the hand of the king would’ve come to take Lord Celtigar and bring him back to the capital in a few hours«I can make you another offer.»she told him with a firm tone.
Lord Celtigar tiled his head«I’m listening,your grace.»he said.
«Swore your loyalty to me and fight on my side,and i promise you that your daughter will become the new Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.»Rhaenyra told him.
But Lord Celtigar seemed unsure,pondering out loud«Is this not the same offer that your friend made me?»he asked.
The Queen shook her head forcefully,a shiver running down her body at the thought that her and Alicent were indeed friends once«She made you a promise that she couldn’t keep,Aegon will be dead before your daughter could marry him.»now she was waking towards him,stopping only when they were only few meters apart«If you betrothed your daughter to my eldest son,her name will be remembered in history.»she promised him with a sincere expression on her face.
«What a generous promise»Lord Celtigar hummed to himself«or a very desperate and full of itself.»he murmured,high enough for her to hear.
«Does it really matter?»Rhaenyra asked,running out of patience.
The man in front of her took his time to think about it and he shook his head,she let out a breath of relief«I suppose it do not.»he let her know«I accept your offer,your grace.»he confirmed,bowing his head.
Words flew fast as ravens,a white letter with the royal seal had arrived to the Claw Isle Castle with the last lights of the sun,when the sky was painted with bright pink and warm orange and the salty breeze of the sea lulled in the air.
In the twilight,in those hours were she was suppose to go to her mother,such a grief overwhelmed her.Y/n was in her chambers,sitting on her comfy duvet right by the window with a book in her hands,when her Septa came in her room declaring that Lady Celtigar asked for her presence in the Grand Hall.
For a girl,a daughter of sixteen years of age,she should be pleased and happy to spent time with her mother.But this was not the case,her mother may be the person who gave birth to her but she refused to see her.
Lady Celtigar,one of the most beautiful women that ever walked on Westeros,coming from a rich and noble house,had Y/n and her older brother from their father,a man way older than her and that didn’t knew how to love her correctly.
Her mother was young,maybe too young,so she wasn’t ready to be a mother and Y/n had always missed her because most of the time she disappeared.In those long and empty days she was never there,both physically and mentally:instead she painted blue walls out of nowhere,she spent hours or days closed in her chambers,she danced under the rain,other times she wouldn’t eat or sleep for days.
Other days she transformed herself completely:teaching Y/n how to stitch and how to clean a fresh cut,being present during her lessons and reminding her how to be a proper lady,she wanted her daughter to be ready for anything,she wanted her to be able to survive the hell they'd been forced to live in.
In that everyday life she had created,severity and rules were often overwhelmed by fragility, screams and unspoken words.Her mother disappeared and did not want to be found and Y/n was only six years old when he saw her lost completely and forever.Her mothers steps were so quiet,that she had barely heard her leave.
At least she was there,even if she was a ghost and didn’t speak to her,she was there.
Mothers are humans who sometimes gives birth to their pain,instead of children.From the moment she was born,Y/n knew that her mother was going to be the one to bury her.Like a God,her mother created her in her own likeness and said unto her wet cheeks:
”Darling,i shall make you more miserable than me.”
And so it was,burying her heart deep in her chest,she was a servant to her mother unhappiness.She had sensed the pain that her mother carried.And she was suspicious to some degree that her and her brother,were partially to blame for their mother pain.Therein lies the guilt.
Y/n hadn’t spoken with her mothers in years,they lived under the same roof,walked in the same hallways but her mother always seat in her own table never with her.
All that she wanted at the end of her life was to understand her mother.Has she been victim of an injustice or was it she the responsible of her own unhappiness?Y/n was quiete familiar with her unhappiness,she could even claim it was hers too.
It was both,Lady Celtigar was a young victim of the patriarchal life and her children only made her golden cage tighter around her.
Her mother’s mother,who she also hadn’t spoke with since years,had hands like barded wire.Everywhere she touched,it bleed.Every word she spoke wounded.Her mother,still a open sore by the time Clement and Y/n had arrived,had inherited those hands and that tongue like a bonding knife.It was difficult,loving someone that couldn’t help by hurting you.How much harm is forgivable when she knew it was done to her first?Clement was old enough to understand and lucky enough to be born a son,so that he had an excuse to stay away.Y/n didn’t had this luck,for a small child,a daughter who only ever wished for her mother love,forgiveness was involuntary.Two mothers existed in her memories,the one that she preserved as a child and the one she was living as a grown girl.They bleed and blur together,like snow in the sun.
«She loves us.»Y/n told one day to her older brother,two weeks had passed since they last saw their mother who’s retired herself in her chambers.
«And we are still living with the consequences.»Clement made her notice,with an angry tone and sad eyes.
She had searched for her mother love in all the corners of the house and she didn’t find it anywhere.But,the thing about mothers love is that it’s not that different from a mother hate.Her mother didn’t mean to hate her,she didn’t even knew that she hated her daughter,yet Y/n was hated.And she carried that hate through all her life with more pride than it perhaps deserved.A bruise of honor.
Now years later,she was walking through the empties and cold hallways of her castle.Her head was high,her legs were shaking and every step further was a step back that she wished she could take.
Build the gold.When Y/n was thinking about her mother,she was always wearing gold.When she thinks of her mother,she is the Grand hall,the heart of the house,and hers was always bleeding.When she thinks about her she is alone,free,careless and without her children.It was the happiest she ever seen her.
It made her laugh,to not cry,that she almost couldn’t remember the sound of her mother voice,the little sparkle in her bright eyes or the dimples on her face when she smiled.There was a ghost roaming around the castle,an empty shell that hunted the rooms with her sadness,with broken promises and stolen dreams and Y/n started to believe that when she called her name,when she called her “mama”she just didn’t wanted to hear her anymore.
Taking a deep breath and smothering her sweaty hands down her dress,Y/n knocked softly,afraid to disturb her, at the wooden door«Come in.»the calm voice of her mother made her heart tremble and her eyes shine with warm tears.
«Mother?»she called quietly,the term felt foreign on her tongue but she missed the felling to pronunce it.
Lady Celtigar was sitting on a chair in a corner of the room,a beautiful golden dress wrapped her delicate figure and shined with the light flames of the fireplace.Her hair,the same color that her daughter inherited,were styled up her head,bright gems braided in them like the ones that he swore around her neck and fingers.
She had the appearance,the royal and elegant facade of the most noble woman and the coldness of a bloke of ice.It Y/n ache,having her mother so close to her,so close that she could almost touch her with her fingertips,but with her mind and soul so far way that not even in a million of years she would’ve been able to catch her.
«Ah,Y/n.»she beamed when she noticed her coming in«Come sit,my darling.»she called her,she seemed more a friend that she didn’t see in a while more than a mother that closed her daughter out her life without explaining why.
Y/n swallowed hard,she had to pinch her wrist to prevent herself to not cry or run in her mother arms.Instead she walked slowly,taking a place on the carpet,sitting by her mother feet and keeping her eyes on the ground.
«Oh my,haven’t you grown»her mother said surprised,taking a look at her up and down«How old are you now?»she asked then.
Y/n had indeed grown,she wasn’t the little child that cried and screamed for her mother,who pleaded for her love and attention,something that should’ve been free for her and something that she shouldn’t beg for.Now she was a young woman,she was taller,her breast grew,her waist was more defined and her beauty was talked in all the continent.
«My seventeenth Name Day will be in two weeks,mother.»Y/n murmured out.
She shouldn’t be surprised that her mother didn’t remember how old she was,it was s miracle that she remembered her name.Every year her Septa brought her gifts,for her Name Day,saying that they were from Lady Celtigar.But she wasn’t stupid and knew that her mother didn’t wanted or cared to make her gifts.
Her mother nodded«That’s perfect,you are suitable.»she said with a velvety voice that made her shiver.
«Suitable for what,if i can ask?»Y/n asked confused,sitting more comfortably on the floor and for the first time looking up and close to her mother face.
It was like time never passed in that room,as Clement and Y/n grew up together,alone in big rooms surrounded by the servitude,their mother remained the same.With the beautiful face carved by the gods,being away from her children kept her young and gorgeous proving that they were the problem.
Only now she had noticed the letter that was resting in her lap«For marrige,of course!»she exclaimed.
Everything in her mother seemed an illusion,from the way she was smiling to the way she was waving the letter in the air.Y/n felt her heart rising to her throat,the air in her lungs stuck and ready to explode in her chest.
Marrige had been her mother biggest problem,tragedy and greatest hell.She had witnessed they way her eyes were always empty whenever she looked with pure hatred,the figure of her husband,the repulsive feeling she had towards her own children that came from the man the ruined her life.
«But mother…»Y/n whimpered«i’m still young.Can i dream for few months more?»she pleaded with desperate eyes.
«We were all young»her mother stated,a bittersweet tone in her words«You should be happy and grateful that you were betrothed to the next in line to the throne.»it was clear that what she was saying wasn’t coming from her,but from her own mother who told her the same years ago.
«But i don’t want to be a-»Y/n started,her eyes were watery,her hands shook with the desire to be held by the woman in front of her.
«A wife?A mother?»her mother laughed,making her winch«We don’t have the luxury to chose for ourselves.From the moment that we are born,everything it’s already planned for us.»she spit it out like a snake with its poison.
«I don’t want to be like you..»Y/n finished her sentence with a low whisper.
Y/n was afraid of her mother,of her harness,her coldness,her piercing gaze.But ultimately,she was just afraid to become like her.To just collapse,fade out on herself,never getting up from her bed,shutting all their world outside.She feared the idea that one day she could’ve become,look and act like her,if marrige was a trap and her mother was the result,why would her mother sell her into it?Because they were the same,just like her mother’s mother was with her,her mother never knew anything different beside this.
Mothers and daughters existing as wretched mirrors of each other:”I am all that you could have been and you are all i might be.”Her mother probably couldn’t remember her name,she heard it from the mouths of strangers but when she looked at her daughter she only saw herself and hated what she was witnessing.
Y/n also thought that her mother feared her,she patronized her,she was scared of her daughter.Whenever she looked at her,she could’ve seen everything that she ever wanted to be,young,beautiful and free but then she remembered that she also was like this once and it wasn’t destined to last.If her mother could she would carve a new path,to start a new adventure.Tho change her name,her looks,her personality.To forget.To go somewhere where no one knows her.To start all over again,to never look back and leave everything else behind.
Y/n didn’t wanted to feel like this,she didn’t wanted to make other people to feel like this.She wanted to be happy with her husband and take good care of their children.But she wasn’t use to being loved,she wouldn’t know what to do.
«Do you think i wanted to have this life?To live in this horrible place or to be your mother?»she asked,every word peeled a layer of her heart,bleeding out her chest.
«No.»her daughter answered,shaking her head and drying the tears in the corner of her eyes.
«If i could choose,I’ll serving the realm with a sword as a knight.But they made me a woman»her mother started«Women are born with pain built in.Monthly blood pain,sore breast,childbirth you know.We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives.Men don’t.They have to seek it out.They invented gods,fought wars,so they can feel guilty about things.Which is something we do really well on our own.They kill each other,so they can feel things while we all feel it right here,inside.»she explained placing a hand on her chest,her face was all red for anger but she remained composed like a porcelain doll.
Trying to understand and forgive her mother was starting to get really tiring,but she was all that she really had.Her brother was lucky,he was a man now,the heir of Claw Isle and the future Lorde of the island,he could choose who to marry or could had as many mistresses as he wanted and no one would’ve blinked their eyes or told him something.Her father,as the Maester of the Coin for the Queen,was always away and the mind behind that betrothal.
«Also,he won’t love you.»her mother said again like she was certain of it«And you don’t have to love him.This marrige is only for political purposes,so try to not ruin things again.»her voice was stern and her face annoyed.
«I…i understand.»Y/n was able to say.
Her mother gave an insufficient look«I must think that you are ready then?»she asked.
«I don’t think i’am.»she was being honest,she was silently begging for her to reassure her,to stroke her face with gentle hands and telling her that everything will be alright.
But she didn’t«I wasn’t either,when it was me. You’ll get used to it.»she brushed it off,adjusting a few strands of her hair.
Y/n was exhausted,she wanted to curl up against her mother legs,laying her head on her lap and falling asleep while she stroked her hair gently,lovingly.But what was really exhausting was always having to empathise with her mother.Even when she don't want to. Because she thought it was her fault that she is feeling the way she is,that her daughter should be the one fixing whatever is wrong in her life even when she warned her before she went ahead and screwed it up for herself,having to hear that she feels guilty for all that she puts her daughter through but not actually doing anything to change it,but still thinking she has too many expectations from her mother cause she has been through so much.
Bringing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on it,she looked up once again.Y/n cringed to become smaller,to hide more of herself on floor so that she couldn’t appear threatening to her mother eyes.
«What’s with that look?You will get wrinkles and a queen shouldn’t have them.»her mother scolding her was the closest thing to being a mother that she ever did in that moment.
Y/n sniffled,her eyelashes were wet,her cheeks redder thanks to warmth of the fire next to her«It’s just…i wished that you spoke to me more often,that you held me with tenderness.I wished that you liked me.»she confessed,looking up at her with a quivering voice.
Her mother seemed taken aback,like she didn’t listened the crude and hurtful way she was talking to her daughter after years of silence«Of course i love you,i’m your mother.»she stated offended,like it was obvious.
But it wasn’t«But do you like me?»Y/n asked,her heart already breaking for the answer she was waiting.
«I want you to be the very best version of yourself you can be.»she avoided the question,wearing on her face a sweet smile that her daughter hadn’t seen in years.
«What if this is the best version?»Y/n asked again,a bit unsure.
The smile on her mother face went off with the same velocity she had put in on«Then i hope that you’ll be able to do great things when your grow up and be Queen,to make up to the curse you put on me by being born.»now her eyes were slippery and cold,distant and her words hurtful stabs in her chest.
What a horrible thing is to look into her mother eyes and see her love for her daughter vanish.She felt sorry that her mother had to raise a child that she didn’t wanted.
«Mother»she called then with a thin voice,and when the woman turned toward her«Can you wash my hair and my back tonight?»she asked,her lover lip was trembling just like her shoulders.
«Of course,my darling.»her mother said,faking a tenderness that was more than enough credible for her in that moment.
Jacaerys Velaryon,nominated prince of Dragon Stone,first son of the Black Queen and future heir to the Iron Throne.A name bigger that him,to heavy to carry on his shoulders at such a young age,it was also the name of her betrothed,her future husband and King that would’ve reign by her side.
Y/n didn’t knew anything about him,never saw him in her life before,only heard of his name and read about the proposal in her majesty’s letter.She didn’t know what to expect,he could be a real dragon or a sea snake or something worse.In those two weeks everyone were to busy to answer her questions about the prince,all running around the halls to have everything ready and telling her to worry only about to find the perfect dress and to look happy.
It had been a week since she saw her mother,since they talked to each other,since she had shared an intimate moment with her.After they encounter,her mother prepared her a warm bath that had the room smelling like roses and cinnamon,she washed her hair and back to forgot about everything that happened.
There is was nothing generous and delicate in her mothers hands,iron fingernails,brimstone knuckles,animal grasp.She held an hammer in her hands wielding it in her back,to make her a better girl,telling her with her sharp tongue that she had to look impeccable for when the young prince would’ve arrived next week.
It was a sunny day,the light of the sun warmed everything around the island,little birds were chirping,flying with each other,right outside the windows.Another morning had started and everyone in the castle were moving and running through the halls,preparing and adjusting every small details for the awaited prince arrival.
Y/n was still sleeping in her comfort bed,the covers were on the scattered all around the floor,her right leg was dangling out the soft mattress,her mouth was open and droll was all over her silky pillow when her Septa bursted in her room.
Her Septa,Mirtha,was an old woman,old enough to be considered her grandmother but so loving and caring that Y/n had considered her like a mother.In fact she was the one who had raised the young Lady,from the breast feeding,the lessons,the kind way and the soft voice she always had with her,all the caressing and loving eyes,she felt like a warm blanket that sheltered her from her real mother rage and negligence.
«Sweetheart,are you still in your bed?»her Septa asked,walking into the room and observing all the mess.
On the floor,beside the covers,papers and paint cans were scattered,some of it,the red one spilled on the stones making it look like a murder scene.Different paint brush and books filled with imagines of flowers,stars and the ocean were stacked on the table next to the door.And of course on the bed at the center of the room,young Lady Celtigar was sleeping like an animal,with the sound of a wild bear and a rat nest instead of her hair.
«Mirtha.»Y/n grunted,her eyes were still closed,her face still pressed on the pillow«What time is it?»she asked with a sleepy voice.
Her Septa rolled her eyes«It’s nine.»she answered,picking up the paint and starting to clean up noisily.
«With the sun or with the moon?»she grunted,rolling around the mattress.
The window in her room,the one that went open on the terrace was open,the curtains dancing around with the salty sea breeze that made her legs shiver«For the Mother’s sake»the old woman swore«Are you trying to ruin me?»she asked,immediately closing the window.
«I certainly do not.»Y/n yawned,sitting up on her bed.
The light in the room made her eyes waters,trying to adjust at the sun rays that were warming her.Mirtha was at the feet of her bed,in her old gray attire,her hair under the veil and the little wrinkles around her bright eyes and thin lips,outstretched in a scolding expression«Did you sneak out again?»she already knew the answer by noticing the cloak and the boots hidden under the bed.
«Maybe.»she muttered still sleepy.
Mirtha gave her a knowing look«It’s time to get dressed,you have lunch at noon.»her Septa informed her,walking in the other room of the young Lady chambers.
«Why did you woke me up so early then?»Y/n feet felt cold on the floor,stretching her arms above her head she went to sit in front of the little mirror on her desk.
«Because your mother wants you to wear this monstrous thing.»in her hands,the old woman was holding a golden dress with pink flowers embroidered on it,with too many layers of cloth,it was heavy and required time to tie all the strings on her back and on her arms.
That dress belonged to her mother in her youth years,it special,only dedicated to important events.Y/n didn’t liked that dress,all the laces,the frills,if it was for her she would’ve wear a simple pastel dress like she did everyday.She couldn’t tell her mother that she was into blue and silver,since her mother preferred pink and gold.She would be heart broken if she suddenly announced that she switched her favorite colors into ones that are not hers.It was a honor that her mother cared so much about her,to lend her that dress,that something like her daughter having her own favorite colors would devastated her.
«What’s the special occasion?»Y/n wondered out loud,her fingers tracing down the long sleeve like she could feel her mother touch on her skin.
The expression on the Septa face turned in horror one,her eyes widened«Now you are really trying to ruin me!Today prince Jacaerys will come here to know you.»she exclaimed with red cheeks,swatting away the soft hands of the young Lady.
Y/n felt the ground beneath her bare feet shook,a chasm opening in her chest ready to swallow her entirely as her body froze.She was still but her mind was racing around.
Her dress was itching her skin,suffocating her as she walked fast fast through the corridors,the servitude eyes were all on her as they paced around under her brother orders.Their mother didn’t left her chambers as always,not even the prince presence was enough important for her,so her brother took care of every small detail.Maybe with him it would’ve be easier to convince him to change plans,and annulling all of this.
«My sister,Inara!Where is my sister?»her brother was shouting to one of her handmaiden,in his hands he was holding a porcelain vase with fresh flowers.
Y/n walked fast towards him,carefully looking around to try to not bump into someone«Clement.»she called for him.
Her brother turned around and his stressed expression changed with a relieved one,his sister was finally there,all dressed up«Look at you.»her brother started with a genuine smile«You are stunning,graced with the pure elegance and beauty of a Queen.»he complimented her.
Both her mother and her brother called for a grace that she didn’t have,the word “Queen” coming out from their mouths made her want to rip her ears off.
«Send a raven to our father and the Black Queen and tell them that i can’t do it.»she pleaded to her brother.
Clement,glanced around making sure that no one didn’t heard them«It’s normal to be a little nervous,but i can assure you that everything will be fine.»he breathed out,trying to reassure her.
Y/n shook her head«I’m not nervous,i’m not suited for this union.»
«You said this for all the previous ones.»her brother remembered,with a scolding look.
«And i was right all the time.»she made him notice,walking closer to him.
«What do you want me to tell to the Queen?She could have our heads for treason.»he sounded exasperated,trying to find a perfect place for the flowers and ignoring his sister nonsense.
«Tell her that i have the shivers and i’m about to die.»Y/n knew what it could happen to them and their father,but she was too desperate to escape.
Clement stopped dead in his truck«I absolutely will not do that!»looking at her as she was out her mind.
«Why?»she whimpered out.
«You can’t live in this house forever.»Clement informed her,trying to make her understand as he placed down the vase of roses.
Y/n circled the table,following her older brother that was now walking into another room«Why not?You do.»she observed the way everyone was running around,ignoring their conversation.
Clement let out a sigh of exasperation«We already talked about this,my situation is different.Don’t all the girls dreams to be Queens when they grow up?»he cracked a joke to light up her mood a little.
But it didn’t worked,she wanted to be free.She wanted to to be six years old again,sitting by the window and painting a wall blue with her mother all over again,she wanted to live in a world where nothing bad had happened to her,where she had a normal relationship with her parents not the future Queen.
«I’m still too young!»she protested,stomping her foot,now she really looked like a spoiled child.
Her brother stopped walking,turning around he saw a beautiful young woman that was held down by the deadly grip of a scared little girl«At your age,our mother was already expecting you and i know that what happened to her wasn’t fair.»he had a loving voice,a parenting figure that was forced on his shoulders when he was too young but that his sister needed.
Y/n shook her head«I just…»
Her brother arms engulfed her in a thigh hug,his safe embrace lulling away all her fears while he stroked her hair.«But don’t let yourself become what she did to you.Prince Jacaerys is not our father,I’m sure that he will treat you well.Just try to not scare him away and try to look happy to meet him.»he murmured into her hair,placing a loving kiss on her forehead.
«Do i really have to do this?»she pleaded again,her eyes sparkling wet.
«I’m afraid so.This is our occasion and no one better than you is suitable for this.»her brother,caressed her cheek drying a little tear.
«Do you think i will make a good Queen,one day?»she joked,suppressing the urge to cry with a forced laugh.
Her brother had a sad smile on his face«You already are for me.»
A quietness overcame that early morning in the castle halls and Y/n went out in the gardens to breathe the blossomy air.The air in her lungs feels foreign,as if she finally breathing in whatever the betrothal is composed of and she didn’t wanted any of this.
There was a desire that resides deep in her souls to run away.To escape to a unknown future.To wander around eternally,without destination,without home in sight.It had always been there beneath her skin,humming in her veins,vibrating in her bones,just barely on the back off her mind.
Walking through the gardens had always gave her a sense of calmness,no one was around as she caressed the petals of the flowers in the bushes while her mind raced and her breathe was heavy in her chest.
She stretched her arms out,stare up at the sky wishing for wings.That could teach her to fly,but she’s trapped on earth there.Feet tied on the ground,the force of gravity keep pushing her down.She was just a girl,even though she was a life puppet,she’ll break all the strings one day.For now she’s just a dreamer,of earning her wings.
Turning the corner,the walls of the castle were covered with a beautiful plant of wisteria.The branches writhed into abstract shapes on the maroon bricks,the little lilac flowers covered the atmosphere with a velvety and sweet smell.Her great great grandfather had planted that and Clement and Y/n used to play,using the branches as a ladder,trying to climb it.All the time,Mirtha or one of the servants had to scream at them or to grab them in order to not make them fall.
But in that moment,Y/n was all alone and an idea blossomed in her mind like a little flower.If they wanted to sell her off to the prince,they had to find her first and if her calculations were right,by the end of the day she would’ve been on a ship sailing to the free cities.
Lifting up her dress,she took of her shoes,her socks now on the dump cold ground,as she reached for the plant.It was difficult,different from when she was a small thinner child without all this layers trapping her body.
As she tried to lift herself up,the quiete sound of footsteps startled a bit,a kind and new voice breaking her racing thoughts.It was a masculine and warm one.She didn’t hear it before,maybe it belonged to one of her brother friends that he made in his traveling,or perhaps to one of his guards or a new servant since he spoke so politely.
«Hello my Lady.»it was a male voice,but it wasn’t rough like her brother one or cold like her father,it was firm,somehow gentle and made her hands tremble«Are you in need of any assistance?»the voice asked.
Y/n fought the urge to turn around,her feet remained stuck on the ground and her hand on the tangled branches of the wisteria«I am quite fine,thank you.»she answered shortly,tasting the wood to find a safe place to climb«Go back inside with all the other gawkers.»she ordered then,when she didn’t heard the sound of footsteps.
«I will.»the voice reassured her,it sounded like he was looking around the garden«But first,i’m curios.What are you doing?»whoever he was,he was entertained and confused at the same time.
«Nothing.»she dismissed him quickly,taking off her golden shoes and putting one feet on a branch.
«You are doing something.»he made her notice,flinching when he heard the crack sound of the branch under her weight.
Y/n let out a frustrated grunt,picking up her heavy gown,just now she thought how stupid her idea was.With that dress it would’ve been impossible to climb up the wall without being drag back to the cold floor or without it being stuck in the plant.But in that moment her mind was to clouded with the desperate desire of escaping,that it was the first plan that came into her mind.
«I’m not.»she said,pure irritation growing on her beautiful features and in her voice as she tried to climb a different spot.
«You are.»the voice insisted.
The lilac flowers were tickling her cheeks and her hands,her feet were cold and her socks wet from the light rain that came the night before,that still lingered on the ground«If you must know and if it wasn’t obvious,»she started with a rude tone«i’m trying to ascertain the best way to climb the over garden wall.»she explained,taking a few step back and looking everywhere in front of her.
There was a moment of silence,the sweet rustle of the wind,the burn chirping on the trees and the quick pulse in her ears were the only noise that filled the garden«Climb…?Whatever for?»the voice behind her asked,in her mind she could picture the face of the owner with furrowed brows and confused expression.
Y/n cleaned her hands,taking a deep breathe she closed her eyes for a brief moment«Because i think he may be a real dragon.»she let out.
«A real dragon?»the voice echoed,he sounded closer this time and his tone was velvety,hiding in it the wish to giggle at her confession.
«Or a sea snake.»the young Lady added,clearly not caring about speaking her mind to a stranger.
«Who are we discussing about,my Lady?»he wondered,even though in his mind he had already an idea.
«This is certainly none of your business-»she turned around to take a quick glance,but her voice faded and her eyes remained frozen on him.
In front of her,only few step away,there was a young man with his hands behind his back and an amusing expression on his face.He was handsome,from the depth of his dark brown eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice.His hair were of the same color,short and messy from the wind,his lips,rosy and plump,that seemed to be drawn,carved on his face,were curved in a curios and genuine smile.He looked only a few years older then her,maybe two or three,he was tall,his shoulders well defined and wrapped in a dark cloak.He was indeed the most beautiful man that she had aver the pleasure to see in all her life.
«The Prince.»Y/n admitted,feeling almost ashamed under his gaze«Every one refused to talk to me about him.He’s clearly a dragon or a sea snake.»she thought,turning around again to hide the blush on her cheeks and brushing off the warm sensation irradiating her chest.
«Understood.»the young man said with a chuckle.
Her eyes scrutinized the wisteria plant once again,her orbs darted everywhere,her brain was scheming,her barefoot tapping nervously on the stone floor«You know,if grab there…yes!»she exclaimed,finding the right place«Perhaps you can assist me and lift me up.»she stumbled forward,lifting her dress with one hand.
The boy behind her walked closer«One question though»his voice was serious this time«Do you not like dragons or snakes?Is his look all that really matters?»he asked,like he was talking about a personal topic.
Y/n managed to to lift herself up on the plant,but the laces of cloth immediately got stuck in between the leaves«I do not care what he looks like.»she answered sincerity«Now can you come here and lift me?.»she grunted out annoyed,freeing herself from the flowers grasp.
«You want me lift you over the garden wall so that you can escape?»he stated the obvious.
She nodded«That’s it what i said,so yes.»starting to get impatient.
«People will notice your missing,would they not?»he was trying to make her become reasonable,making her see the real situation.
Y/n held in a dry laugh,maybe her brother would’ve noticed the next day,Mirtha only a few hours later and her mother wouldn’t even notice the difference if the house was empty or if she was still there,not that she cared about her presence in the first place.
«I shall worry about that once i’ll be on the other side.»she murmured out,placing her fit down again,waiting to feel his hands on her waist to help her get out of there.«So,can you please help me?Come,make haste.»she ordered,moving her arms around to show him what to do.
He chuckled again,licking his lips and shaking his head«I have absolutely no intention of helping you.»he informed her politely.
Y/n felt offended,turning around immediately with a scoffed face and pout on her lips«I’m a lady in distress and you don’t want to help me in my home?»she asked,puffing her rosy cheeks.
The boy looked straight into her eyes,he smelled of smoke with a sweet contrast«I refuse to help a lady in distress when she is trying to get over a wall,so that she doesn’t have to marry me.»the little,simple smile on his beautiful face made her heart jump along the words that came out of his mouth.
That was him,prince Jacaerys Velaryon,heir to Iron Throne,the boy she was betrothed to was standing right in front of her and he wasn’t a dragon or a snake but far from them.
He had the kind of face that stopped her in her tracks.Y/n guessed he must get used to that,the sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile.Of course the blush that accompanied it was a dead give-away.It didn't help that he was so modest with it,it must made the girls fall for him all the more.But,what she didn’t knew was that,despite all the opportunity that came his way he was a one-woman-man who prized genuineness and thoughtful conversation above frilly dresses and pretty faces.He was handsome alright,but inside he was beautiful.
«I…I’m-»before she could form a proper sentence,her tongue tied on itself,not really knowing what she could say to escape that embarrassing situation,her brother came in saving the day.
«Y/n!»she heard him calling out her name,a moment latere she saw him walking fast,troughs the gardens,coming towards them.
Clement hair were messy,his breathe short and on his face a nervous expression that he masked perfectly with a confident one«My prince.»he greeted immediately,bowing politely.
«Lord Celtigar.»Jacaerys answered with the same courtesy,his gaze shifting quickly between the two siblings.
Her brother smiled,taking place next to her«Lord Celtigar is my father,you may call me Clement.»he informed the young prince«I see that you have already met my sister,Lady Y/n.»he said then,placing a hand on her back to reassure her.
«Indeed.»Jacaerys spoke,his eyes never leaving her face,taking in every inch,every detail of her beauty«Such a lovely creature,just like the songs tell.»he ascertained.
Y/n felt her cheeks heat up,her soft skin becoming warm as her heart started to beat furiously in her chest«Thank you for your compliments,my prince.»she remembered to answer when her brother had pinched her side«I find you quiete handsome too.»and it was the truth,he was really beautiful,so much that it made her want to punch him in that pretty face.
She had always had many suitors during the years,as soon as her white mattress was founded painted in red one morning,the burning pain churning her lower belly,she became a woman and for her father that meant only one thing:marrige.In the years,her brother and her Septa had hosted different meetings,lunches,parties to find for her the best options,the perfect suitable husband that would’ve brought to her and her family money and power.Needless to say,the young Lady had made everyone run out of the door in less that an hour.Creepy,old and with touching hands,she was capable to refuse any of those men,but Jacaerys felt already different,difficult to get rid of.
«Even though i’m a dragon and a snake?»he teased her,his smile showing the perfect pearl white teeth.
Y/n clenched her fists,only letting out a little laugh,while her brother looked at them confused«Where are your shoes?»Clement whispered then,noticing her bare feet.
«Oh.»she murmured to herself,she had almost forgot about the cold floor,warming up with just the prince presence.
Turning around and stumbling on the gown of the dress,she tried to kneel down to put them on when«Please,my Lady,allow me.»Jacaerys said.
Taking the golden shoes in his hands,his fingertips brushing against her skin,he kneel in front of her«What are you doing?»she breathed out,caught by surprised.
Looking up at her,with his warm brown eyes«Helping a lady in distress.»he simply explained«Can you lift this up for me?»he asked,pointing at her gown.
Calming herself,with a firm grip,she lifted the heavy cloth of the dress giving him free access to her ankles.Jacaerys hands were rough,but his movements were delicate,kind and soft,as he was afraid to hurt or broke her.His hands were also warm,the tender feeling passing through her socks as his fingers had put the shoes on for her,that made her want to take them off to feel his touch on her again.
«Thank you,my prince.»she thanked him,seeing rising up on his feet.
«My pleasure,Lady Y/n.»he nodded his head.
Clement cleared his throat,sensing the tension in the air«I think it’s best if we move in for lunch,then my sister can show you the gardens later.»he stated,guiding them back in the castle.
The lunch was a noon and it was to be consummated in the dining room,the long wooden table was in front the large window that overlooked the calm sea,very different from Y/n tumultuous head.
The room was decorated with the flowers of the garden,beautiful peonies,daisies,tulips adorning and scenting the place with such a delicate and creamy perfume.It really looked like the inside of a fairy tale,the table set up with the most delicious food and the wedding that everyone were praying for sitting on it.
Y/n was quiet,her eyes looking down on the plate in front of her,playing with her fork.She had a knot in her stomach that made her for her impossible to try to eat something.She had lied to herself,she did it many times before,but none of them weighted like this one.Indeed she did cared about Jacaerys looks,but also,in a certain of way she didn’t at the same time.
He was beautiful,yes,but he what made him different from the other horrible men that tried to court her,was the he was really interested in her.It didn’t bother him that she had a mind,a brain on her own,thoughts and dreams,in fact he wanted to hear about all of them.
«Your father told me that you like to paint.»the prince said,trying to start a polite conversation and wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin.
She kept her eyes down,a sarcastic smile on her face,of course her father would’ve told him every good aspect about her like he was selling a cow«Yes.»she answered dryly,taking a sip of her wine.
Jacaerys nodded«Maybe one day you can teach me.Your father also told me that you are very good at that.»he smiled sweetly.
She wasn’t used to someone,let alone a prince,to be this interested in her and her hobby.She couldn’t remember a time when someone asked her about her art,why she painted the small details the way she did,why she choose that particular color or subject to paint.
She had to stop him right there,she knew where he was going.It all roses and flowers in the begging,all beautiful and magical,but then came the fights,the screams,the children that no one cared for,the different bedrooms,words left unspoken and hearts to heals.She couldn’t risk it,to be miserable,an empty shell that vomited all the hatred rage of her mother on her new family.She had to save him,herself and what could’ve come out from their union.
«Since my father told you quiete a lot about me,my prince,you must know about Lissy.»she said to him,placing her elbows on the table with a smirk.
Lissy was the names of her imaginary friend,Y/n had made her up in her head when she was just a small child and drawn her on her bedroom wall the same night that her mother disappeared from her life.It wasn’t a coincidence that her imaginary friend looked exactly like her mother did,from the hair color,the shape of her eyes and the clothing,but she was entirely different.She was affectionate,sweet,loving,everything that she needed her mother to be.
Jacaerys raised a brown«Lissy?»he repeated confused,he was pretty sure that he didn’t heard that name never before.
Y/n nodded«Yes,she accompanies me everywhere i go.»she informed him.
The young Lady had put on that little theatrical play years ago,following the same script with the same exact words each time.To scare off the Lords the came from all across Westeros,she had pretended to be a demented girl with hallucinations and it worked every single time.
The prince hummed,not knowing her real intentions,it wasn’t a problem to bright with them on Dragon Stone another person if that meant having her hand«I understand,when can i met this Lissy then?»he asked her naively.
Y/n smile widened,it was time to put on her favorite part of the play«What do you mean “when”?»she acted surprised«She is sitting right there.»pointing at the empty chair next to him.
Jacaerys followed her gaze,his dark eyes positioning themselves on the invisible figure that his betrothed affirmed to be sitting beside him.Lord Bartimos had warned him,the same morning before he had announced his leaving to fly to the Claw Isle,that his daughter was indeed beautiful like people whispered about,but she was also one of a kind.
Her father didn’t used the term “weird” like the Rogue Prince had said,but “rare”.Jacaerys had heard stories,whispers about how she preferred to keep herself lock un in her tower,scaring away all her potential suitors.He wouldn’t let her do that,he had promised to his mother,to the Queen that he would’ve came back in two weeks with his wife-to-be and with the total control of the sea.
«She may look like a tender flower that you can trample upon,but she is a wildfire.Do not let her devour you whole.»he remembered Lord Bartimos wise words.
Jacaerys smiled,a smirk lit up his face.If she wanted to play he could do it too,turning to his side«It’s a pleasure to meet you,Lady Lissy.»he spoke politely,to the empty chair.
He had to contain in the small laugh that was tickling his lungs,when he saw the way Y/n face fell.A surprised expression that soon had transformed in an irritated one,made her eyes twitch«She doesn’t share your same happiness,my prince.She doesn’t like strangers.»the young Lady,spit out taking a bite of bread.
«Good thing that we are here to know each other.»he stated confidentially.
Y/n nodded forcefully,usually other men would’ve run through the door without looking back as soon as she mentioned her imaginary friend.But he didn’t,quite the contrary,he had followed her immediately in her nonsenses without blinking an eye.
«What did you say,my Lady?»Jacaerys cupped his ear,scooting closer to the empty chair,he wasn’t talking with Y/n«I have to agree with you.»he smiled like an idiot,if someone passed through the corridors outside the room they would’ve think that he was crazy.
«What did she said?»Y/n felt stupid,for the way she perched herself up,curiosity all over her face and because she was really interested of what he was agreeing with a person that came out from her mind.
The slight breeze from the window opening softly caressed her hair from where it lay framing her face«That you are so beautiful that my heart could burst.»his voice was so sincere,his words so fair that made her chest ache.
She was used to people telling her similar things,compliments about how radiant she was,there were two lights on the island and Y/n was the sun,so effortlessly herself,glowing even in the darkness.
Rolling her eyes,she huffed«That’s was so original,next thing you are going to tell me is that I’m different from the other ladies?»she sarcastically asked.
That didn’t seemed to put the young prince down«You sure are,my Lady.I’ve never met someone like you before.»he confessed.
«You are just like everyone else.»her face was stoic and her words cold and distant,but her eyes were begging him.
«Have you met other princes before?»he asked,he was really starting to get on her nerves.
Y/n forced a smile on her lips«No,but i guess that you are no different from all the men that came here,complimenting me for my beauty and expecting me to fall on their feet.»she stated,remembering all the afternoons that she had to spend in their presence.
«I didn’t mean to offend you or to make any assumptions,my Lady»he kindly said
«Then why are trying so hard to make me like you?Nothing would change the fact that we are going to be wed for political reasons,you don’t have to pretend.»she bursted out,her words hard as the look on her face.
She knew the rules,she saw them before her eyes for years,the agony and empty game of the arranged marrige.She knew that one day she would’ve bare children for him,princes and princesses,heirs were the only matter between the two of them.Y/n knew nothing about what being a Queen or being a mother meant,and surely she didn’t knew what being loved and love were.so why don’t keep everything as it was supposed to be?
«I know that you don’t want this,you’ve made it very clear.»the young prince started,placing his cup on the table«And please understand that i didn’t had any say in this.Our parents had spoke about marrige,but it’s doesn’t have to be only political.»he sounded so sincere,his voice was so warm that made her hands itch to touch his lips while he spoke to her so tenderly.
«Of course it have be,for people like us»she stated,busying her hands with the strings of her sleeves.
«Maybe.»he hummed«We often don’t have the fortune to spend the rest of our lives with the person that we chose,but it’s only because we refuse to try and make it work.»he explained,tracing his fingers on the golden cup mimicking her actions.
He remembered his parents,Queen Rhaenyra and Ser Laenor,two different people that didn’t wanted to be bound to each other,but that in the end made it work.Creating a beautiful and loving family,a safe place for them and their children,coming to care and protect each other.In his mind they could had it too,working for it together every day.
«Make it work?»Y/n repeated his words«Why?Because my family will give you the money and the fleet and yours will give me a crown?»she asked,raising a brow.
He smiled,but his eyes remained serious as his next words«Because if you give me your heart,i promise that i will take care of it.And if you will give some time,i will love you with everything that i am.In this life and in all those to came.I will be yours and you will be mine,in this moment and forever.»it made her feel things that she didn’t knew she could feel.
Was he really devoting himself to her,promising to love her and to find her afterlife?Could it really be possible for them to love each other so dearly?Her parents promised the same thing,before the Gods,the day of their wedding and they both failed.Love can vanish,all the empty words remain there with a sad solitude.
«You don’t even know me,my prince-»Y/n whispered out,shaking her head.
«Please,call me Jacaerys.»he told her with affection.
«Don’t make such promises,Jacaerys.»she stated,casting her eyes down,her chest was hurting.
«You are right,i do not know you and you do not know me.»Jacaerys said,agreeing with her for the first time«But in time we could and we could have a happy life and a long reign,together.»he continued,outstretching his arm on the table,his hand towards her waiting to feel her skin on his.
She looked at his empty palm,the rough texture of the skin for all the years of training and she wished that she could let herself go.But if it wasn’t true,her mother words still poisoning her head,she couldn’t survived it.
«If anyone could’ve persuaded me into marrige,it would’ve be you.»she said with a dry chuckle«But i can’t be the person you need me to be.»she told him,getting up from her seat and walking away.
Jacaerys hadn’t seen her in two days,after their conversation during lunch,the young Lady had closed herself in her room and didn’t came out till that afternoon.
He was afraid that he had,in some ways,offended her with his words but he meant all of them.His mother had raised him right,like a proper and educated prince,but most importantly like a kind and gentle soul.He knew that he couldn’t force on her and on himself love,that the beautiful feeling required time and both of them had to work on it first,but he was more than willing to commit and devote himself to her.For as much as he loved his mother and understood the situation,without Ser Harwin neither him or his two younger brothers would’ve be there,he didn’t wanted for his future wife to find what he could have to her in someone else and he certainly would’ve wanted it for himself either.
Lady Y/n was an interesting creature,she hides herself behind stolen glances and mean words.Not because she wanted to,but simply because that was what she had learned was the safest thing to do when she doesn’t feel safe.Few people realized the trust and faith that she must feel for her to show herself at all,so shy and fragile are her hopes and dreams,too many times has she be ignored and abandoned.When emotions start to enrolling in her mind and her fears starts to allow the darkness to consume her,the little girl hides away and the stoic,strong woman protects her with reality and logic.Fiercely she would protect that little heart and he wanted to help her with that,taking care of it as it was his own.
The sun was shining lovely,the green bushes of the gardens framed the idyllic scenario with beautiful,colorful flowers.But nothing couldn’t compare to what he had set his dark eyes on.
Y/n was sitting on the edge of the fountain located in the center of the garden.Her hands moved fast,schematically,like a natural thing on the white paper of what looked like to be a sketch book.Her long hair were tied up messily on her head,not perfectly styled like two days before,her body wrapped in a simple peach pastel dress that made her look so ethereal.
He liked her more like this,in her natural state and habits,without being forced to be another version of herself.
«Good evening,my Lady.»he greeted her with a kind smile.
«It was.»Y/n grumbled out,she didn’t lifted her face to look at him,but he saw the way her cheeks turned red and the way she rolled her eyes.
Jacaerys always liked his people a bit damaged.A bit rough around the edges.A bit difficult to stereotype.A bit stranger than a normal crowd.He liked people whose eyes tell stories and whose smiles have fought wars.If someone was perfect,there was a chance,that they weren’t going to get on.What he wanted to see was her purity,the way she was wearing her scars,he wanted to see how brave she was with her vulnerability,how emotionally naked she let the world see her.Her damage may not be beautiful,but it has made her exquisite.It made original,different from all the ladies he had met,and one of his kind of people because people like her are one of the most incredible things in the world.
He took a place next to her,sitting down in his dark vest but also keeping a distance to not frightening her«Oh,come on.You’re starting to make me feel unwelcome.»he teased her with a little laugh,to make her understand that he wasn’t mad at her for this.
Y/n hands were dirty with with colors,pencils and chalks were scattered around the stone floor along her shoes as she climbed the book to her chest«I’m also starting to think you’ll never get the hint.»her words were rude as always.
Jacaerys took a deep breathe,calming his nerves«Your brother told that next week you will be seventeen.»he started the conversation«Perhaps is there anything that you wish for?»he asked,taking a look of how small she seemed all curled up on herself.
«For you to leave.»she let out immediately.
He chuckled,shaking his head as he was expecting to hear a similar answer«I will,my Lady.But i’m afraid that you’ll have to come with me.»he stated with an apologetic expression that mirrored hers.
Y/n looked around,to the small plants,the dark fronds of the trees,the beautiful flowers.She always thought that in the garden she would’ve had died.The roses would’ve killed her,the bushes suffocated her.All her life she had draw boundaries,invisible walls between herself and other people.No matter what she was dealing with.She maintained a set distance.
«Is there something else that you want?»Jacaerys tried again.
«I don’t know.No one ever asked me what i wanted before.»she murmured quietly.
«I’m doing it right now.»he made her notice gently«So feel free to tell me wha you truly desire.»he continued.
She thought about it for a few moments. She wanted to live simply.She wanted to sit by the window when it rains and read books that she’ll never did before.She wanted to paint because she felt like it,not because she had something to prove.She wanted to listen to her body,fell asleep when the moon was high in the sky,wake up slowly with no place to rush off.She just wanted to live boundless and infinite.
«A dress.»she answered timidly,feeling almost stupid.
But Jacaerys didn’t laughed,he was taking her seriously«Any particular dress?»he was curious.
He wanted to know why and which dress had her like that,with a shy smile on her face and a light he never saw before in her eyes.
«When i was little i had this beautiful azure dress,the same color of the spring sky,with little birds embroidered on it.»she had a nostalgic tone in her voice«I wore it everyday till i grew out of it and my mother had to thrown it away.»the glow in her eyes flickered but it was still there as she explained.
Y/n got that dress when she was just a small child.When her mother was at her grandmother house,she was herself.She was free,or so it felt.Y/n thought that for once,she got to see her real self.She saw her as a daughter,as a strong woman,as a real mother,her mother.Y/n was so happy she wanted to have a piece of her mother with her.Her grandmother gave her the dress she sewed herself that was her mother's. She was so happy to have it.She took it and wore it with pride.She went running to her mother to show her how she looked just like her.Y/n looked at her and wanted her to see her as her old self,she thought that maybe then she would love her a little.But she still looked at her with emptiness and a ghost of a smile.Y/n ignored it and continued living in her dream. But her mother once said that life isn't a dream and it doesn’t go like we want it to.She realized then that everything was a delusion.
«I bet that you looked very pretty.»Jacaerys whispered.
«That’s what i want,but i don’t need you to buy it for me.»she ignored his compliments,again with her rudeness.
«Then i won’t.»he stated peacefully,not wanting to cause another fight«Thankfully,i came prepared.»he slipped a hand inside his pocket and took out a little velvety box.
Handing it to her,Y/n opened it with shaky fingers.A beautiful iron colored ring with a red ruby set in the mouth of a dragon«Valyrian steel won’t impress me.»but it did,even though in her home there were plenty of objects made with the same steel,none of them were this perfect.
«Is not to impress you.»Jacaerys immediately said«Is a symbol.»he placed his hand over hers,the one which were still holding the box.
Y/n was right,his hands were warm and held hers with delicacy to not hurt her«A symbol?»she sounded confused.
Jacaerys nodded,he was so close to her that he could smell her sweet scent and the fabric of his clothes never annoyed him more then in that moment,deprived him of her bare touch«My father gave it to my mother the same night they agreed to make their marriage work.»he said,how warm brown eyes were shining under the sunlight«I intend to do the same.With this ring i will give you my promise»he said,his gaze leaving a million words left unsaid.
«Jacaerys-»she started with lump in her throat.
«Don’t push me away.»he interrupted her,with a strained voice.
But she did it,closing the box with the ring still in it,she freed herself from his grasp and got up with trembly legs«Listen»she paused«I need you to understand that when i push you away,is because is the only thing that i know how to do anymore.»she sounded like she was about to cry.
He opened his mouth to say something,but she stopped him holding her palm up like a white flag«You need to understand that everyone else had left.So now i don’t believe people are going to stay.»
A week had passed,Y/n was now laying in her bed,the soft fabric of her pillow and the nightgown wrapping her body made her feel dizzy.
«Sweetheart,is the night of your Name Day.»Mirtha tender voice sounded like a lullaby in her ears«Shouldn’t you spend it with the prince?»she asked sweetly,sitting at the end of the bed and caressing her back.
Y/n shook her head«Everything is just fine like it is right now.»she lied.
Her Septa let out a sigh«And knowing you,that’s a bare minimum at best.So what’s wrong?»she asked again.
Him,Jacaerys was wrong.Y/n was very often full of rage and despair.She was always lonely.In spite of all that she was and in love with life,she made up stories and forgot about the cold and the dark.She knew these are ways of surviving, but maybe a refusal,any refusal,to be broken lets in enough light and air to keep believing in the world – the dream of escape.
She was living inside a tower.Trapped in,she locked herself up and lost the key.The darkness that creeps at night was her only company.No one ever tried to save her there,since they can’t hear her cries.She passed her days in solitude,watching the world move on outside.Jacaerys was different and she knew it by the way she would feel whenever he spoke to her,she felt warm and almost drunk.
She was drawn to him in way she didn’t understand.His eyes ran through her soul,chasing her,wanting to know what she was so scared of and protecting her from it.
«He wants me to love him.»Y/n answered with a quite whisper.«And even worst,he wants to love me.»her throat felt dry,saying that bitter words.
How can come someone make up all the love that she missed as a child?
Her Septa let out a surprised laugh«Is this what had been bothering you?»she said.
Y/n rolled on her back«Letting some love you is so cruel.It’s like giving them you heart,waiting for them to crash it under your eyes.»she explained.
Mirtha nodded«I understand.»she hummed.
«Do you?»Y/n sarcastically said.
«When i was young i had a nice pair of shoes.»she started,getting up from the bed«I was afraid to wreck them,so I kept them in a box.Do you know what happened?I outgrew them.I never wore them outside.Only in my room a few times.»she told her,with a soothing tone,like a mother who was helping her daughter with boys problems.
«A person's heart and feelings are very different than shoes.»Y/n made her notice.
«They're kind of the same thing.If you won't use your heart,who cares if it gets broken?If you just keep it to yourself,maybe it'll be like my shoes»Mirtha objected«When you do decide to try it,it won't be any good.You should take a chance.You are still young and got nothing to lose.»she tried to made her understand.
She was young,beautiful and alive,graced by the gods to have someone like him by her side.Someone who promised to treat her right,to cherish her and to love her.The tower wasn’t so tall and it wasn’t even real,only inside her head like the sick thought that she could be loved.
«You are only saying this to get rid of me.»she joked with a little smile.
«Who says that i’m not coming with you?»Mirtha sounded serious.
«Uh?»she muttered out confused.
«The young prince asked your brother to make me leave with the two of you.»Mirtha said.
So many tender and painful,sweet and bitter emotions,crowded her heart and plunged her mind«Where is him?»Y/n asked getting up from the bed.
«In his room.»Mirtha answered with a knowing smile.
The young Lady ran barefoot through the hallways,her chest was going to explode from the way her heart was beating so fast .She had told him,one evening how important her Septa was for her and how much it pained her to leave her behind.Once again Jacaerys had proved her his devotion to her and his will to make sure that she was happy.
Knocking at his door,her heart sank in her chest when she realized how much she wanted him,all the love he could give her,the peace,the calmness that she desperately needed for all her life was waiting for her behind that door.
Opening up,Jacaerys seemed surprised,with his messy brown hair and tired face,but a smile was present as soon as he saw his beautiful girl standing there fidgeting nervously with her hands.He found her adorable,to the point that he wanted to close his arms around her and never letting her go away from him.
«Good evening-»he tried to say with a sleepy voice but she interrupted him.
She didn’t knew how to call it,what was happening between them,but she liked it.It felt silly and fragile and good,all at the same time.She didn’t thought that was capable of being loved,but the way he was looking at her made her think otherwise.
«Where is my present?»she was so nervous that she was word vomiting all the wrong things.
«You said you didn’t wanted one.»he stated,surprised by her outburst.
Jacaerys had the power to make her lose control and to calm her at the same time«All girls wants a present on their Name Day,even when they say they don’t.»she said,trying to be polite but her first sentence it was too late.
He let her in,opening the door fully to let her enter in his room«On the bed.»he said then,tilting his head to the side.
On the soft mattress there was a rectangular box with a blue flake on it.The dress she had her heart attached to since she was a child,laid in there in all it beauty.
«Is it beautiful as the first one?»he asked with a hopeful tone.
She didn’t answered,words weren’t forming in her head and her mouth felt dry.She just nodded and turned around.It was really this?The feeling that the searched all her life?Jacaerys was the piece that she waited for so long.Her heart was beating so fast,it threatens to pop up from her chest in any moment.She rest her shaky fingers in his hands,his embrace warm and comforting,tears coming out her eyes the more he was holding her.Was that moment even real?
«Are you alright,my love?»he was caressing her hair so lovingly that made her bones hake with it,the name felt so strange but so familiar at the same time.
«I’m tough.»she remainded him,licking her dry lips and calming her shaky hands
He nodded«I know you are.»
«I can take care of myself.»she continued.
«You have.»he said«You still do.You always will.I’ve just joined in,too.Now we will take care of each other.»and it was a promise that he would’ve kept till his last day on this earth,till he would’ve found her in another life.
She wrapped her shaky hands around his waist,keeping him close,breathing in his scent«Stay.»she whispered in his ear.
That was his cue to kiss her.Wrapping his fingers around her hair,enclosing them around her neck.Hard.Just hard enough to feel her pulse,the quiet beating of her heart under his palm.
She won’t always be this vulnerable,this open to him.Right now all her trust was in his hands
This was his cue to pull her closer.
Placing a gentle thumb to her bottom lip,caressing the soft and rosy texture,he breathed close to her,hovering his lips to hers so agonizingly slow«I will.»he said«I will be yours and you will be mine.»then he cut the distance between them,pledging their blooming love with a hungry kiss.
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ariaste · 2 months ago
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So excited to announce my next book, YIELD UNDER GREAT PERSUASION, coming out on September 17th! If you've never read any of my books before, no worries--this is a standalone, so you can jump right in without any extra context. (The stunning cover art is by the amazingly talented @holographings -- go check out all his other art!)
"Alongside the sexiness and absurdity (and the sexy absurdity) in Yield Under Great Persuasion is a tender, resonant story of second and third chances and being loved when we need it most and feel we deserve it least. Evocative, emotional, and endlessly entertaining." —Jules Arbeaux, author of Lord of the Empty Isles
SUMMARY:
Tam Becket has hated Lord Lyford since they were boys. The fact that he’s also been sleeping with the man for the last ten years is irrelevant. When they were both nine years old, Lyford smashed Tam’s entry into the village’s vegetable competition. Nearly twenty years later, Tam still hasn’t forgiven the bastard. No one understands how deeply he was hurt that day, how it set a pattern of small disappointments and misfortunes that would run through the rest of his life. Now Tam has reconciled himself to the fact that love and affection are for other people, that the gods don’t care and won’t answer any of his prayers (not even the one about afflicting Lyford with a case of flesh-eating spiders to chew off his privates), and that life is inherently mundane, joyless, and drab. But then, the very last straw: Tam discovers that Lyford (of all people!) bears the divine favor of Angarat, the goddess Tam feels most betrayed and abandoned by. In his hurt and anger, Tam packs up and prepares to leave the village for good. But the journey doesn’t take him far, and Tam soon finds himself set on a quest for the most difficult of all possible prizes: Self care, forgiveness, a second chance... and somehow the unbelievably precious knowledge that there is at least one person who loves Tam for exactly who he is—and always has.
This book might be for you if:
You like enemies-to-lovers but you think it would be improved by being a one-sided situationship, and meanwhile the other person is living through a "hopelessly yearning for childhood crush" trope
you like it when two people are so, so, so stupid that they've been fucking for 10 years and Person A hasn't figured out that Person B is in love with him, and Person B hasn't realized that Person A doesn't even know about his feelings
You know how fucking hard it is to Do The Work In Therapy and you want some catharsis about it
you want to read about an imperfect, truly difficult person who still gets loved, because being perfect is not a requirement to deserve affection and care
you know that merely saying sorry for wronging someone doesn't just magically take away the bad feelings and automatically repair the relationship, and you want to read about someone having to do the extra steps that come after the apology
this one's for the wlw: fat harvest goddess milf. my gift to u
you like gods who don't have anything better to do than stick their noses into human business
when you see a gorgeous man holding an infant, it takes you out at the knees
you like queernorm fantasy AND small-town gossip, and you find the intersection of the two delicious and intriguing
a religion based on pre-Christian Brythonic England. That is, they've got henges and standing stones instead of churches and altars. it's cool
plant magic!!!!!
"god of temptation and evil"? No, actually that's the god of self-indulgence, self-care, personal boundaries, and taking responsibility for the consequences you consented to.
You can preorder it in ebook, hardback, and paperback from most retailers (with more coming soon), but if you'd like to order an autographed copy from me directly, just fill out this form! :) Signups for autographed copies close on August 31st, so hurry hurry hurry if you want to nab yours!
(Signal boosts are very much appreciated! 🙏)
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lgbtqreads · 6 months ago
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Hey! Any good novels with queerplatonic relationships? Not necessarily defined as such in book.
I read and can highly recommend The Other Significant Other by Rhaina Cohen as a great non-fic. It's just left me itching to read more in fiction!
Yep, they're always down at the bottom of this post! https://lgbtqreads.com/representation/romantic-sexual-orientation/
For ease, I'll copy and paste the list here:
*Lord of the Empty Isles by Jules Arbeaux
Baker Thief by Claudie Arseneault
Journey Home by May Barros
Seafoam and Silence by S.L. Dove Cooper
The Witch King by H.E. Edgmon (YA)
Go Truck Yourself by J.R. Hart
The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath (YA)
If it Makes You Happy by Claire Kann (YA)
Fire Becomes Her by Rosiee Thor (YA)
The Heretic’s Guide to Homecoming by Sienna Tristen
The Wolf Among the Wild Hunt by Merc Fenn Wolfmoor
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bumblesimagines · 12 days ago
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When Fire Meets Fate
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Part 14
Request: Yes or No
Summary: After a failed assassination attempt, (Y/N)'s thoughts become filled with reminders of his family on the opposing side.
CW/TW: Typical Got/HOTD warnings, violence, Ser Erryk's death, not-so-subtle period typical sexism, Ser Alfred and Lord Celtigar are their own warnings at this point
someone get this man a ticket to the summer isles asap
~~~
His hobbies became less enjoyable with each passing day. His eyes skimmed the words on the page, reading them, but his mind could not process them due to the turmoil within. The days of devouring books, reading hundreds or more pages were gone, halted by the war seeping through the cracks of barely contained peace.
(Y/N) thought of his niece's son, and couldn't help but wonder what his sister thought of it all. Did she despise them, despise him? Did she believe them free of guilt or had her futile hope died when the sword sliced through her grandson's throat? 
He squeezed his eyes shut at the image, unable to think of the child without thinking of his own toddlers. With the death of Jaehaerys still fresh, everyone remained on high alert for a counterattack or another enemy taking advantage of the unsteady Realm by sowing more mayhem. Many'd chosen to remain neutral, some such as House Tyrell and House Greyjoy, but neither house seemed like the type to send assassins to kill children in their beds. Lord Tyrell was a mere boy whose mother ruled as regent and the Red Kraken faced his enemies head-on. 
A quiet sigh brought his attention to Elinda as the handmaiden followed Rhaenyra to finish braiding her hair, only for his wife to walk forward again, too lost in her mind to give Elinda enough time. (Y/N) closed his book and set it aside, a trickle of amusement pouring in when he took in Elinda's twisted lips. Rhaenyra stared toward the window, her hands tightly clutched and her brows fixed into a near-permanent furrow. Worry had never been a good look on her. 
"Nyra," He spoke, snapping her out of her distant trance. "Allow Elinda to finish working."
"Ah," Rhaenyra glanced over her shoulder at the brunette before snapping her head forward sheepishly, the skin along her cheeks gaining a soft pink color. Elinda, in all her patience, simply smiled and resumed working swiftly, her fingers moving automatically from the countless times she'd helped do Rhaenyra's hair. "My apologies."
"It is quite alright, Your Grace. Please try and lay down; it has been a weary day." Elinda spoke softly, finally finishing the long braid and resting it along Rhaenyra's back. 
With a sigh of agreement, (Y/N) twisted around to tug down the pillows resting against the wooden headboard before he leaned back into them and sunk into their soft cushion. Rhaenyra joined him soon after, tucking her legs beside his underneath the covers and fluffing up the pillows with the heel of her palms. Elinda watched them solemnly as she placed empty teacups onto a tray and approached the bed with a sympathetic frown. 
"You must sleep tonight," She told them gently, "Let me ask the maester for some draught." 
Rhaenyra exhaled heavily through her nose, her body naturally curling into his side once she placed her head on his chest. "Perhaps that would be best." She murmured and draped her arm across his stomach. His fingers crept up her back until his palm settled on the curve of her hip. "Thank you, Elinda."
"Of course."
Elinda crossed the room to continue tidying up, but her work was cut short when the door opened and a familiar man stepped inside. Immediately, the couple sat up in their bed with near-bated breath at whatever news he could possibly be bringing them at such an hour. Even Elinda straightened up, the calm of her features disappearing into worry. 
When the knight remained quiet as he stepped further into the room, Rhaenyra's brows furrowed. "Ser Erryk?"
The sound of a sword unsheathing echoed coldly through the room and dread settled uncomfortably in (Y/N)'s stomach. "Believe me," he spoke through gritted teeth, "I had no choice."
"Brother!" An angered shout followed the door being thrust open by a copy of the man already standing in their bedchambers. Ser Erryk and Ser Arryk, (Y/N) quickly realized, but who was who? (Y/N)'s arm shot out in front of Rhaenyra, his body scooting forward whilst his arm pushed her behind him. Her quickened breath filled his ears and her nails dug through the thin fabric of his sleeve as she clutched at his arm. "Do not do this. I beg you."
The twin who'd entered their room, Arryk, spoke heatedly but the slight tremble in his hand when he pointed his sword at his brother spoke for his true thoughts. "You are the one who betrayed us, Erryk,"
The two knights continued facing each other, one pushing forward and the other stepping back tentatively, the hesitation in their limbs keeping them separate until Arryk suddenly lunged toward the bed with a cry and his sword raised high. Rhaenyra yelped in surprise, her hands tugging and dragging her husband along with her as she scrambled backward until the two were pressed up along the headboard but thankfully, Erryk sprang into action immediately, blocking the swing of his brother's sword. Elinda dropped the tray onto the nearest table and ducked down behind it, her widened eyes jumping frantically between the couple and the brothers. 
"Elinda, go!" Rhaenyra called to the panicked handmaiden, her voice mixing with the frequent clashing of metal against metal. "Run and find Ser Lorent!"
Hurriedly nodding, Elinda scooped fistfuls of her dress into her hands and raced toward the open door where she disappeared into the hallway. The knights took a moment apart, their chests heaving and features concentrated, but (Y/N) caught the flicker of relief on one of their faces when Elinda's footsteps became distant. Ser Erryk.
"Come," He breathed to his wife, reaching around behind him to grasp her arm and pull her as he scrambled toward the edge of the bed where Erryk stood closest. The knight glanced over his shoulder and followed their movements, using his body as a shield when Arryk swung again. 
"(Y/N)," Rhaenyra whispered shakily, pressing herself against the stone collum and wincing with each clash of swords. 
When Erryk's leg was struck, (Y/N) took her wrist and ran, the clanking of metal that followed them making his throat tighten. Rhaenyra cried out when she tripped on the ends of her nightgown, forcing (Y/N) to stop and duck down toward her as Arryk's body tumbled forward and onto a vase with a shove from Erryk. He wrapped his arms around her swiftly and cradled her whimpering form close to his chest, heavy and quick pants leaving him whilst he watched the brothers swing at each other.
"Your Grace, My Lord!" Ser Lorent appeared, rushing down the steps leading further into their bedchambers and waiting for the knights to move away before he raced forward to them. "With me!" He ordered, one arm behind them to guide them toward the other door and the other arm keeping his sword trained on the two for any sudden movements toward them.
Wiggling on the doorknob, (Y/N) cursed in frustration when it wouldn't turn, the adrenaline flowing through his veins beginning to give way to panic fueled by Rhaenyra's whimpers and watery eyes. The knights had tangled themselves together, concentrating their fight on each other but with their features and injuries, (Y/N) could no longer tell who was who. They only watched hopelessly as one began strangling the other.
"We were born together," One wheezed, voice strained from the hands clamped around his throat. (Y/N)'s hand tightened on the doorknob, finding his eyes unable to tear themselves away from the sight and words spoken. Alicent, Alicent, Alicent. His sister, his twin, the other half of his soul and body. Had she known of this? No.. not even their father would think of such a thing... would he? 
"You parted us!" The other wailed through blood and tears, his body trembling from exhaustion and grief. Aching familiarity flooded (Y/N)'s chest and filled his eyes with salty, warm tears. "But I still love you, brother."
The one pinned between the floor and the wall dug his fingers into a cut on the other's leg, prompting a pained cry as he toppled over onto the floor. He dragged himself toward a tossed-aside sword on the floor as the other did similar. They stood up, faced each other, and charged, but instead of the dreaded clanging, (Y/N) heard the horrifying noise of cloth and flesh being torn into.
They held onto each other, stumbling and staggering through sobs.. until the dead weight of one forced the other to finally step back. The remaining twin panted heavily, his tears mixing with sweat and blood whilst he stared at the corpse of his brother. 
"Your Grace, My Lord," He exhaled heavily when he faced them on unsteady feet and quivering lips. He turned his sword onto himself, shoulders slumping with exhaustion as soft sniffling left him. "Forgive me."
(Y/N) blinked. "Erryk-"
His words caught in his throat as Erryk collapsed down onto his sword, impaling his midsection and covering the floor with blood. (Y/N) turned Rhaenyra toward him instinctively, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head into his neck. The late guards that'd stormed the room at the last second stared aghast at the bodies, both men familiar but only one had been loyal to their cause.
His eyes roamed down to the floor, meeting the blank blue eyes of Erryk. Was this how he and his twin would reunite? Forced to look upon the body of the other in the end, with no way of reversing time and doing it right? 
(Y/N) squeezed his eyes shut. When had been the last time he'd told Alicent he loved her?
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"He is the basest of villains." Jace's voice held barely restrained anger in it, an emotion his son had grown so used to throughout his childhood. Always the storm, the spitfire, the one who lost his temper with mere words or looks. (Y/N) felt exhausted, too tired to deal with a son that reminded him so much of his younger self but when a hint of irritation flared in his belly, he remembered the wide-eyed, teary look on Jace's face upon seeing them alive and without injury before he'd rushed into their arms like a frightened child. "He sullies his brother's grave."
"They formed together in the womb, Jace." (Y/N) muttered, feeling the dirt escape between his fingers and onto the knights below. They said the dead often looked as if they were sleeping, but not even the Silent Sisters could hide the look of death on their faces; olive skin was now ghostly pale, and once pink lips a purplish tint. "They were born together, they died together. They were halves and now they're whole again. Leave them be." 
"We cannot fault him for keeping his oath," Rhaenyra added softly, tiredly, mimicking her husband and releasing the dirt clutched in her hands onto the bodies below. Grief had become a numbed feeling, one circling their minds but too muddled with exhaustion and muted anger to take them fully into its clutches once more. 
(Y/N) stepped away from the grave, unable to stand the sight of watching dirt slowly cover the twins any longer. He'd hardly slept, and the few moments of sleep had been filled with dreadful nightmares of what would come of him and his family. His uncle would send knights and soldiers out to help King's Landing, many among them being his blood. Gwayne came to mind specifically, his older brother with a level head on his shoulders but an eager desire to please their father.
The smallfolk and soldiers were always the first to die in conflict; it made him wonder if he'd ever see his brother again with eyes full of life.
"Father," Jace caught up with him, his curls bouncing and reminding him of Alicent in her youth when her curls had begun having some definition. He made a face and the tip of his ears turned a light red. "Apologies. My Lord." He corrected himself, eyes darting toward the knights and servants escorting them back to the safety of the castle. He was a little boy no longer but he thought himself too grown.
"What is it, Jace?" (Y/N) turned to him, studying the side of his son's face and being unable to stop himself from picking out the traits that reminded him of his family; a mesh of his mother and siblings' faces stared back at him whenever he gazed at Jace, from the curls of his hair to the slope of his nose. 
"Is it not..." Jace trailed off, the tip of his tongue swiping over his lips. "Is it not unjust to bury Ser Erryk alongside the man who attempted to kill him, who attempted to kill you and Her Grace? It's despicable what he did, what he chose to do. And... for Ser Erryk to..." 
Exhaling softly, (Y/N) looked forward. "Siblings are siblings but.. it's different with twins, Jace. You are born together, they are the first face you meet.. you are one soul, one heart, almost one body. I remember the pain of losing Corren, one of my older brothers. I can only imagine that very pain would be intensified tenfold if I were to hear of Alicent's passing."
"She is a traitor." Jace scoffed. "She placed the usurper on the throne. She wanted Princess Rhaenys to bend the knee to him. She-"
"Is still my sister." (Y/N) interrupted softly. "Just as Ser Arryk, traitor or not, was still Ser Erryk's brother. You may not understand as your brothers are too young to yet inflict any sort of betrayal... but it's complicated. There may be hate and grief and frustration but the love will linger.. the hope. You'll understand, someday." 
Jace frowned at that, jaw tightening. "I'm not a child to be coddled-"
"You will always be a child, Jace, to us." (Y/N) told him, a hint of a dry chuckle following. His gaze drifted toward the woman standing on a balcony, watching them with curious eyes. Their savior; the woman who'd alerted the guards of Ser Arryk's trickery. "You will always be the boy with round cheeks, gentle waves, and a penchant for trouble. Now, head inside and check on your brothers."
His hand grazed Jace's shoulder before he parted from his son, making his way up the cobbled steps where Lady Mysaria waited, her hands intertwined before her and the hint of a smile on her lips. Truthfully, (Y/N) had expected her to depart after giving her warning as some sort of way of evening out the field. They'd kept Daemon's promise and in return, she'd helped them. Yet, there she stood, gazing thoughtfully at him before the echoing shrill of Seasmoke brought their attention out to where the dragon flew. He'd grown restless in recent times, dancing in the sky after his flights and filling the air with his cries. 
"They are... curious creatures." Lady Mysaria spoke, seemingly captivated by Seasmoke. He hardly blamed her. He himself saw the dragons in fleeting moments, sometimes even allowing Rhaenyra to convince him to join her on a flight or two with Syrax. For the smallfolk, seeing a dragon close must've been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Seasmoke was a beauty with his pale silver skin but frightening in his bursts of irritation. He loved Laenor as much as a dragon could, (Y/N) knew that much. "Have you ridden one?"
(Y/N) nodded. "Before the youngest arrived, yes. Rhaenyra enjoys taking to the skies and she enjoys sharing her hobbies. I would not say it's a favored pastime of mine." His words drew a quiet laugh from her. 
Footsteps filled his ears and he glanced over his shoulder, his arm immediately extending toward his wife to coil around her waist. Rhaenyra gave a quiet sigh and leaned into his side, fingertips brushing away a loose strand of silver hair. She appeared conflicted at first but she wiped the look off her face to address Lady Mysaria with a polite smile, eyes briefly flickering to the dragon in the distance. 
"We were told you turned back from your ship to bring warning." 
"I was not believed at first." Lady Mysaria stated, her head remaining forward but her eyes flickered toward them, obversing and waiting. The sea breeze ruffled back her raven locks, and she turned to look at them. "What is the life of a queen worth these days?"
"You wish to be rewarded." Rhaenyra mused, withholding a heavy sigh.
A hint of a smile graced Lady Mysaria's lips, playful in a way but not mocking. "As I would think you would wish to reward me." She said, her brows briefly lifting and voice nearly drowned out by another cry from Seasmoke. (Y/N)'s attention darted between the two, trying to focus on the woman before them, the woman he now owed his life to, and the dragon that'd once belonged to his close friend. 
"What price would you set?" Rhaenyra questioned, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, her voice tight and guarded, slightly worried. Maybe even paranoid. Now were hardly the times to owe anyone anything, not with war rearing its ugly head and castles being so easily breached. His fingers danced the curve along her side, tips pressing against the rough texture of her dress to ease her nerves. She exhaled through her nose and spared him a glance, but it did little to cease the way she toyed with her fingers. 
"A place.. at your court." Lady Mysaria revealed, dark eyes watching them closely. 
"You wished to free yourself from the webs of court, and yet now wish to find yourself a place in it?" (Y/N)'s brows dipped inward, perplexed. The castle had been breached by a knight with the sole goal of slaughtering a queen and he'd nearly succeded. Anyone else would've collected their things and raced for the next ship away from the Crownslands, away from the infighting. Lady Mysaria's shoulder lifted with a half-shrug. 
"And you let me go. You showed me grace when you could have withheld it. I'm not often surprised." She said gently, a shadow briefly casting over them when Seasmoke flew in front of the sun. "I know the workings of the Red Keep and the movements of those who serve there. That is worth more than gold to you now."
Rhaenyra's lips pursed, eyes squinting when she spared Seasmoke a glance at his call. "What is our worth to you?"
"I would punish the Hightower for what they have done, to me and those who served me. But more than that, I know the struggles of the smallfolk of King's Landing. They will be ruled, either by you or by the usurper. And only one of you has shown yourself to be merciful."
"Well, I hope you do not confuse mercy with pliancy." 
Another shriek, one much closer, interrupted the beat of silence that passed over them after Rhaenyra spoke. It almost seemed purposeful, urgent. (Y/N) watched Seasmoke's distant figure twist in the sky and dip downward toward the water, skimming it briefly before rising again. His flying seemed purposeless; no hunting, no playing, seemingly no enjoyment coming from it. Was it the equivalent of pacing? Or an attempt at communication without his rider to decipher it for them? (Y/N) frowned. Could it be...
"Seasmoke, my late lord-husband's dragon. He's grown restless as of late." Rhaenyea turned away from the sight and gave another tight yet polite smile, her hand rising to touch her husband's back briefly, signaling to him their departure. "We can not know why."
"Maybe he's lonely." Lady Mysaria said, and Rhaenyra halted, eyes darting back to her before turning to her husband. 
Their departure from the balcony was quiet, with Lady Mysaria staring after them until she resumed her watch of Seasmoke. Rhaenyra stared forward whilst they walked down the hallway, her lips twitching into the beginning of a frown and brows furrowing. They had news for Rhaena but (Y/N)'s mind remained consumed with other things. Dragons and their riders were bonded, united as one in more ways than one; rumors and speculations the bond was emotional, possibly even bound by souls. Syrax had grown restless during Rhaenyra's early labor, shrieking and roaring within the caves she and the others called home. It was enough to prove there was something there, some sort of connection... one that would be severed after death. 
His lips brushed over Rhaenyra's temple, his legs leading him in the opposite direction of their bedchambers. He needed more time with his children, now more than ever. His chest constricted with the beginning of grief.
They'd gone years without hearing a word from Laenor or his lover, as they'd agreed upon to avoid rousing suspicion, but Seasmoke's restlessness, his constant shrieks and cries... the chance it was his way of mourning was high. Lives were lost so easily, fragile things capable of breaking at any time and any place. And so far from home.
Rhaenys and Corlys had mourned their children for years and felt the turmoil of not having been there for Laena during her time of need. Lady Jane Arryn would take good care of the children but it hardly shook away the worries.
Could he survive losing another child, let alone one of the youngest? Could Rhaenyra? What would come of Jace if he lost Joffery, Viserys, or Aegon? His eldest son was already brash yet withheld his impulses, but (Y/N) knew the flush of youthful anger and arrogance all too well. It was all-consuming and dangerous. 
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Council meetings were wearisome. How his father managed to attend each and every one for decades was a mystery to (Y/N), a mystery he thought about as he sat in his seat and listened to the droning of the other lords. In a fleeting desire, he desperately hoped once the waters calmed, he'd be able to do as other consorts did and stay far from the Small Council and its squabbling men.
"Still no sightings," Rhaenys announced as she strode into the room, peeling her gloves off as she approached her seat beside him. It'd been early afternoon when they'd heard of an army leaving the gates of King's Landing, its destination unknown and unclear thus far. "No men, no horses, no ships... no dragons." She gave a quiet sigh, tossing her gloves upon the table and sitting down. 
"Good. Then we must seize the hour and act before our enemy does. They have penetrated our castle walls and now the Riverlands are aflame after the Battle at the Burning Mill." Ser Alfred spoke, turning his attention onto Maester Gerardys expectantly. "How fares Prince Daemon with our army?"
Maester Gerardys grimaced. "There has been no word from Prince Daemon, Your Grace."
"Then we must press what advantage we do have."
"And what's that?" Lord Staunton questioned from beside Ser Alfred, eyeing him with a level of uncertainty (Y/N) could not fault him for.
"Dragons." Gods. "Send all of them out. Start turning Green strongholds to our cause and burn those who resist."
"No," Rhaenyra spoke up with a dismissive shake of her head, her fingers tightly wound together and lips slightly pursed. "If dragons begin fighting dragons, we invite our own destruction. Fear of it is in itself a weapon. The Greens will make the same calculation." 
Ser Alfred's dry laughter followed, mocking as if he were faced with a child rather than his ruler. "The value of a sword is not within its scabbard." 
"We will secure victory with armies, not with dragons alone. The Greens understand that." Rhaenyra swallowed, her jaw tight from Ser Alfred's attitude and chest falling with a deep exhale. "The Vale and the North will send men. We must give Daemon time."
"Your Grace," Lord Gormon Massey spoke next, shifting in his chair and leaning back into it as he looked toward her with a small sniffle. "You have witnessed firsthand just how vulnerable you are. Prince Daemon is abroad, Lord (Y/N) is more skilled with words than with swords, and Aegon's factions are enraged at the death of his son. You have never been so exposed!"
"Perhaps it is time for you to think about secreting yourself somewhere safe while we remain here as a source of distraction for the enemy." Lord Celtigar proposed, and (Y/N) couldn't help the laugh that tumbled free from his lips. The lords turned their attention swiftly onto him, brows furrowed at his amusement but (Y/N) simply arched a brow, eyes flickering between them all.
"You expect Her Grace to turn and cower away whilst you do what exactly? Appoint a regent in her stead? Play pretend as children do so that you may indulge in fantasies? Age has truly emboldened too many of you, made your tongues loose and brains hazy, it seems. You act as if you are speaking to your daughter, your sister, or wife. You speak too freely in the presence of the Queen." (Y/N) inhaled heavily and leaned forward, resting his elbows upon the table and studying them each. His tone remained icy, cold and distant whilst he addressed them to further watch them shift uncomfortably in their seats. "What do you think Her Grace's enemies would do if they caught wind of her.. 'secreting herself somewhere safe'? They would call her a coward, and what House would wish to follow a coward?" 
"My Lord, t-that is not what-"
"And what would you do, Ser Alfred, if we were to send all our dragons away to fight and left Dragonstone vulnerable? The riderless dragons may be prompted to attack, sure, but without riders, they have no loyalty. Dragonstone's inhabitants would be left to face the same fate as Harren the Black or the Harroways of Harrenhal." (Y/N) raised his brows at the man, turning away when he parted his mouth to speak and leaving him to clamp it shut.
"You sit here and act like children who've been gifted their very first sword whilst simultaneously disregarding the very reason we have dragons at our disposal. The rulers of the Targaryen Dynasty may have been men thus far but we have seen women rule before, or have you all forgotten of Dorne? It was Princess Meria Martell who led her people against the conquest and won. Perhaps, instead of opening your mouths, you should open a history book."
(Y/N) scoffed softly and stood from his seat, prompting the rest of the men to stand as well with their heads bowed. "Oh, and Lord Massey," (Y/N) watched the man swallow before he lifted his head to look at him. "Nearly all of my brothers are knights. I was taught how to fight in my youth. That I choose words is not a flaw, for someone else may have chosen to cut your tongue if they felt slighted." He turned away, moving to stand beside Rhaenyra as she too rose from her seat. 
Coiling her arm around his, Rhaenyra gave him a fleeting smile before looking over her council. "Let us not speak or entertain such an idea again. It'd be inconvenient amid a war to have to charge someone for treason, wouldn't it? If there is nothing else of value to inform us of, we shall take our leave."
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