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unsolvedjarin · 2 years ago

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omg after reading part two of the mentor!seb x ferrari driver!reader fic i NEED something where he actually tries to play matchmaker for reader and mick😭 Like him giving so many hints but reader is just oblivious and Seb decides to take matter into his own hands yk?

Only if you’re open to it ofc! 🥰🥰

BEES, AMONG OTHER THINGS.

pairing: (mick schumacher x driver! reader) (mentor! sebastian vettel x reader)

note: HEY. i havent written anything in weeks and its been KILLING me. ive been so burnt out lately its crazy, but seeing seb in suzuka did give me a bit of motivation (although this is more of a mick-centric fic, my boy deserves it.) anyways sorry for letting this stew for so long anon, hopefully i can write more soon ive missed it tbh

summary: suzuka finds itself not only an interesting spot for bee hotels, but for reunions and confrontations as well.

content warning: none, except its a little all over the place and once again i havent grammar checked this im so sorry it’s three in the morning

previous part, but can be read without <3

When Sebastian invited the grid to his bee hotel opening, he expected maybe five or six people to come, but not this.

Everyone was coming.

And by everyone, I mean everyone. The drivers, the reserves, even the team principals, had all confirmed their appearance for the event. Sebastian knew he was loved by the grid, but the thought of all of them coming together for him still made his heart swell.

It was one in the afternoon, just thirty minutes before they were about to actually start the event. While the participation of the drivers were confirmed, they were still coming in one by one, some later than the others. Sebastian was in a particularly interesting conversation with Fernando about flowers when a poke to his shoulder captured his attention.

He turned around to find you, standing there behind him, waiting for him to finish his conversation with excitement you couldn’t contain. It was the first time you’ve seen each other since Silverstone, and even then you barely had time to talk to each other.

Before he could say anything, you jumped into his arms and hugged him so tight that Sebastian thought he would lose oxygen— but he still hugged you back with equal enthusiasm.

“Sebastian!” you screamed, being spun around once by the man. He missed you so much. Sebastian wasn’t particularly the greatest texter, and calling wasn’t something you were fond of, so besides the occasional visit you barely talked.

“Y/N, I thought you’d never come,” he says with a grin. He knew you were coming, of course. You would never miss out on this. You give him a playful shove, before giving Fernando a quick hug as well. In the year Seb has been gone, you had gotten closer with the Aston Martin driver who replaced him.

Fernando excuses himself quickly after, knowing you and Sebastian had some catching up to do. “Don’t tell me you’ve replaced me with him,” Sebastian jokes the second the Spaniard was out of earshot.

“Why, are you jealous?” you teased. He scoffs in reply, but you could hear the hint of jealousy in his tone. “Don’t worry Seb, while I love his talk about flowers, you talking my ear off about bees still appeals to me more.”

That makes him smile.

“I’m glad you prefer my infodumping, then.”

The fact that you taught him that term makes your grin even wider. “Anytime.”

You wanted to talk with him more, to tell him how you’ve been doing the past few months, but before you could, some PR person swooped in to film some videos with him.

“Ah, sorry liebling,” Sebastian sighs. He leans in and whispers in your ear, “One thing I haven’t missed are these media hungry people.”

You stifle a giggle, before nudging him away from you. “Go on, it’s your event, this is your own doing.”

He rolls his eyes but walks away nonetheless, following the person from the media. Before he moves out of earshot, however, he shouts, “Oh by the way, Mick is here! Don’t be shy, go talk to him.”

Oh the bastard.

Half the grid must have heard that. You look at him with shock and a light blush on your cheeks but are met only with a cheeky grin from the man before he turns around to fully walk away.

Admittedly though, he was right. You hadn’t been talking to Mick much. You had a few lunches with him after Seb retired but without his third wheeling company, it just felt awkward to go out with the reserve driver one on one. You started thinking he just ate with you because he felt bad for you or something of the sort.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice snaps you out of your thinking.

“Jesus! Lewis, don’t give me a heart attack like that.”

The Mercedes driver laughs before replying, “Sorry, you just looked tense. Thinking about the race?”

“Not really, just some other stuff.”

“Like what? Like Mick?”

You almost choked on your own saliva right there and then. “Wh- what? What would— haha— make you think that? No that’s crazy, I’m just thinking about the bees! Yeah, because like the bee hotel and stuff I love b—”

“Sebastian wasn’t really quiet talking to you just then, you know.” He comments, cutting you off.

“Oh I’ll kill him.”

“Doubt it, you’ve missed him too much these past months to kill him immediately.”

“Touché, maybe I’ll wait a few more then.”

“Stop avoiding the question, why’re you thinking about Mick?” Lewis asks, not giving the topic up. Oh what the hell, Sebastian trusts him right? So you could trust him.

Thinking of how you could word your thoughts properly, you start, “I kinda— I dunno— I mean he’s a nice guy, he’s pretty sweet, and we’re friends obviously so it’d be—”

“You like him don’t you.” Lewis cuts you off for the second time in a row.

“Yeah.”

“Damn,” he sighs, letting it linger for a moment. “That’s crazy.”

A beat of silence passes. “You’re not gonna say anything else?”

“Say anything else about what?” Sebastian butts in your conversation, clearly just having finished his short interview. He takes his place beside you, scooching in between you and Lewis instead of taking up the free space on the other side.

“Oh, Y/N was just talking about how she likes Mick.”

“Was not!” You exclaim.

“Was too,” Lewis retorts. His teasing never ceased to amuse and annoy you at the same time.

“I think I’m going to believe Lewis on this one. After all, you did tell me, and I quote, you ‘sorta have a little maybe crush’ on Mick.”

You hang your mouth agape incredulously before slapping Seb on the arm, “I told you that in confidence!”

Seb laughs before defending himself, “Well Lewis knows now! Besides, it’s not like you’ve been that discrete about it.”

You look at Lewis who shrugs in reply, “It’s true. Pretty obvious when a Ferrari driver keeps hanging around the Mercedes garage, mate.”

Oh well, cat’s out of the bag. There’s no point in keeping it secret from Lewis now, you think. Putting your head in your hands, you groan, “That’s the problem! I’m always at the Mercedes garage talking to you or Toto or even George but never him!”

“Well why don’t you…talk to him?”

“Great advice Sherlock, gee, got any more good ones for me?” You ask Sebastian sarcastically. While you and Seb banter though, Lewis recalls a conversation he had with Mick one late night back in Singapore.

“Hey Lew, was Y/N here earlier?”

Lewis, who was packing up to go home, redirects his focus to the only remaining guy in the garage save for a few engineers. “Yeah, she visited right after the race to congratulate me. Why’re you looking for her?”

“Oh nothing, just asking.” Mick replies, fiddling with his hands. Even in his tired state, Lewis could tell that there was more the young driver wasn’t saying.

“C’mon, spit it out.” Lewis says, taking a seat on a random chair and patting the one beside him for Mick to take a seat. The younger driver hesitates for a moment before sighing and sitting down. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Better than anyone. Do you know what happened when Alonso crashed his McLaren back in 2015?”

“No, what?”

“Exactly,” Lewis replies with a grin. “So what is it?”

“I…” Mick sighs, unable to find the right words for what he was trying to say. “I think I like Y/N.”

There, it’s out in the open, he thinks. Mick waits for a reply from Lewis, but gets none. “Hello?”

Another beat of silence.

“Okay, this is starting to scare me.”

Lewis finally snaps out of his trance-like state, before getting up and continuing to pack up his things. “Okay.”

“That’s it? Okay?”

“Well I thought it’d be something more secretive,” he says, putting up bunny ears.

“It is secretive,” Mick replies, mocking Lewis’ bunny ears. “No one knows.”

“Eh, I’m not so sure about that mate. I mean if you exclude Sebastian, Fernando, Toto, and myself, then sure, no one knows.”

Oh shit. Was he that obvious? “How- how did you all figure it out?”

“Well for one, if constantly tailing Sebastian and Y/N last year was your attempt at being discreet, then it was a horrible attempt. Second, you need to stop turning red and running away whenever she’s at the garage giving out food and what not. I can’t keep asking her for extra donuts for you forever, you know?”

Mick blushed slightly at the comment, not realizing how every time you came around to the garage he’d been unwillingly avoiding you out of fear you wouldn’t want to talk to him.

Lewis pats Mick on the back, getting ready to leave. “Listen man, if I were you, I’d make a move. That opportunity won’t last forever, plus, it seems like they like you back. Didn’t you guys go out together just the two of you a couple of times?”

Mick shrugged, “I don’t know, I mean I think she did that just because she felt bad for me being alone in the grid and because she missed Sebastian.”

Lewis internally rolled his eyes. He’s seen the way you look at Mick, there’s no way you didn’t like him too. “You have to stop doubting yourself. I mean the worst she can do is say no, right?”

“The worst she can do is avoid me for the rest of my life because I misread all the signs and she actually hates me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Lewis replied sarcastically, before murmuring a goodbye and leaving the garage.

That was weeks ago now, but the conversation was still stuck in Lewis’ head. He’d been right all along, you did like Mick back.

“Hey Seb, can I talk to you in private really quickly?” He speaks up, making you and the retired driver stop your bantering for a moment.

“You can say it in front of Y/N, it’s fine.” Seb replied. He trusted you completely with anything and everything.

“Well not if it’s about her.”

“Hey!” you complain. “Are you openly gossiping about me?”

“Listen, if you want our help, then let us huddle for a minute.”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh and nod at them. You really really liked Mick, but you were too much of a pussy to do anything about it. So if these two old twats could help you, then so be it.

Lewis pulls Seb to the side for a moment, inhaling deeply before talking softly so you couldn’t hear. “Okay, so here’s the thing. Mick told me he likes Y/N.”

Sebastian whips his head to face Lewis, “Holy shit, I knew it. I knew he wasn’t going out with us all the time last year for no reason.”

“Yeah, he’s not so discreet. Here’s the problem though, he firmly believes Y/N may hate him, and you know that Y/N believes Mick only likes her as a friend.”

“So what you’re saying is they’re both hopeless?”

“Without our help, basically yes.”

“God I can’t believe they haven’t caught a clue,” Sebastian sighs. “I even excused myself from multiple meals so I could leave the two of them alone even for a few minutes.”

“You’re telling me mate, I basically had to shove Mick towards her whenever she was at the garage or in hospitality.”

Meanwhile, while the two men were devising on their own, you were getting antsy. What could they possibly be coming up with? You didn’t really want to think about it too much, so you decided to take a walk around the track. After all, the event was about to start, so you might as well familiarize yourself with your surroundings.

You went through the unpainted bee hotels, admiring their woodwork and the effort it must’ve taken to make them. Sebastian had sent you a text at three in the morning yesterday saying “Finished! :-)” with a picture of the bee hotels attached, so you knew he put hard work into this project. You were happy that he was doing something he loved while retired, but at the same time you missed him terribly on the grid. It was lonely, you will admit, without him by your side. Sure you had your teammate Charles and the support of your fellow drivers, but it never felt like anyone truly knew you on the track besides Seb.

Stuck in your thoughts, you failed to notice the man who was walking up behind you mustering the courage to strike a conversation. You turn around to check out another bee hotel when you bump straight into Mick walking up to you.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

“Ow—” you hold your head in pain, which you bumped into the bee hotel roof when you recoiled backwards from the hit. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

Great, Mick thought. Now what?

You’ve made a fool of yourself, congratulations, you thought.

Sebastian was about to walk over to see what all the commotion was about, when Lewis put a hand out and stopped him. “Look who bumped into her.”

Sebastian squinted a little— his eyesight had gotten worse but he refused to get glasses— and grins when he realizes who it is. “Best leave them to it then, I have an event to organize anyways.”

Meanwhile, Mick had no clue what to do. You were holding your head in pain, with your eyes closed trying to regain stability from the dizziness, and he was just standing there awkwardly trying to figure out what the right move was. Should he ask you again if you were alright? Should he hold you to stabilize you?

Well, why not both. Without thinking, he holds your shoulders, crouching down a little to look you in your eye, and asking a simple “You okay?”

You open your eyes, squinting because of the sun, and are met with a set of beautiful blue ones staring at you. Holy fucking shit. Now you don't know what to do.

“Uh— yeah, just hit my head. No biggie honestly, all good here,” you reply awkwardly. God, was it this hard to talk to him when Sebastian was around?

Mick lets go of your shoulders— you miss his touch already— and straightens up, nodding. “Good. Sorry for hitting you, I thought you heard me walking up.”

“No, it’s my fault honestly. Was stuck in my own thoughts. Nice that you pulled me out,” you joked, praying to whatever higher power was listening that it stuck.

Thankfully it did, and Mick let out a small giggle at your quip. It was enough for your stomach to do flips. And even though you had no clue, you joking around with him made his stomach do the same thing too. The simple interaction was enough to make him think that maybe you weren’t just hanging around with him before because you pitied him.

“You know,” Mick starts, before he loses confidence to breach the topic. He was here anyway, so might as well. “You’re always at the Mercedes garage but I never see you. I am sorry about that.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. Why was he sorry? You were the one who avoided him out of nervousness whenever you were there.

“You don’t have to be sorry about that, honestly, that’s my fault anyway. Same with our lunches before, I’m sorry we did those less and less. I guess I got too caught up in the races. We should have another one here in Japan!” You add the last part haphazardly, not really thinking about what you’re saying because if you do you’ll lose confidence.

It was too late when you realized what you said, and terrified to see Mick’s reaction to the invitation, you stare at anything but him. Wow, the sky was blue today. How interesting.

Mick, on the other hand, was frozen on the spot. Did he hear that correctly? Were you inviting him to lunch for the first time in months?

Before the reserve driver could get his hopes up, however, he realized what was different this time. Sebastian was around.

Oh. Maybe that was the only reason you invited him this time around. Because, again, like before, you felt sorry for him being alone and you had the confidence to ask him because Sebastian was here.

“Would…Sebastian be coming?” He asked. He wasn’t a religious man by any means, but he begged God at that moment you would say no. He had nothing against the retired driver of course, he was like an uncle to him, but it would determine— for him at least— if you were going out with him out of pity or because you actually wanted to.

You, on the other hand, had a completely different interpretation of that question.

Did Mick not want to have lunch with you without Sebastian because he didn’t want to spend time with you? Did he feel like you were too awkward? Too weird? You stopped yourself before you could spiral even more.

“I mean, do you want him to?”

“Honestly? No.” Mick hears himself say without thinking. His eyes widened a bit at the fact that he said that aloud, making you giggle. It lifts the tension a bit and the air feels freer talking to him.

“Tsk tsk, I’ll make sure to tell him that.”

“Please don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it. I just meant—” Mick pauses for a second, finding it difficult to word his thoughts.

Oh fuck it. Fuck it all. “I want it to be you, just you.”

Oh.

“Oh.” Before Mick can regret saying anything and repeatedly apologize for the implications of what he said, you tug on his shirt a little to get him to look at you. “Me too.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, laughing a bit at himself. “Thank god, I thought I made the wrong move there.”

“God no,” you laugh out. “I’m glad you said that honestly, I thought you just hung out with me before for Sebastian.”

Mick raised his eyebrows in confusion. Was that what you’d been thinking this whole time? “I thought you were just hanging out with me because you felt bad I was alone without Seb.”

This time you both look at each other, confused. You had both gotten it completely wrong.

The absurdity of it all makes you burst out laughing, and you try to cover it up with your hand but to no avail. “I’m sorry I just— ha!— I can’t believe I’ve been reading it wrong this whole time! I even avoided you in the garages because I thought you felt awkward around me.”

“I hid whenever you were at the garage because I thought you didn’t wanna talk to me,” Mick replied bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. “In hindsight, that was pretty stupid, I suppose I wouldn’t ever know if you liked talking to me or not if I kept avoiding you.”

“Hold on, is that why Lewis always asked for extra food when I came around?”

“Yeah,” he answered, feeling embarrassed. It all felt so foolish now.

“That was stupid,” you tease. “So…what now?”

“I suppose we can just,” Mick gestures aimlessly with his hands. “Restart.”

You smile at him, liking the simplicity of the idea. After dancing around each other for a year, this is exactly what you wanted. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“What you were saying earlier, lunch? I know a good place. It’s pretty far from the track, but they have the best ramen and— hello Seb…?”

Unbeknownst to you, Sebastian had slowly inched himself closer to where you two were standing, trying to overhear your conversation. He was now stood a few meters away from you, pretending to be taking care of his bee hotel.

“You sneaky bastard!” you exclaim, slapping him on his shoulder for the second time that day. “How long have you been eavesdropping on our conversation?”

“I just got here!” Sebastian replied, trying to defend himself. He’d actually been standing there for a couple minutes, but if none of you had noticed, then it was better for him to not bring it up. “Anyway, I came to say we’re starting the event. Charles is looking for you at the Ferrari station, Y/N.”

Sebastian moves to leave, but turns back around, standing beside you. “And Mick, if it’s no bother, you could come with me and Y/N to Disneyland on Tuesday. Only if you’d like, of course.”

“We’re going to Disneyland?” You ask, but a quick glance at Sebastian's expression and you realize what he was trying to do. “Oh! Yeah, we totally planned on going to Disneyland. You should come with us.”

“Yeah! Sure, I have nothing to do anyways. And lunch on Monday, Y/N?” Mick replies. You give him a soft smile and nod in response.

Seb looks at you in confusion, “Am I part of these lunch plans?”

“No.”

“Great to know. Anyways, to the Ferrari station liebe, chop chop,” Seb retorts, putting his arm around you to pull you towards the station. As much as he wanted you and Mick to talk more, he also wanted his event to get going.

“Talk later!” you shout, being practically dragged by Sebastian. Mick laughs at the sight, waving a goodbye to you and the retired driver. He felt like he won the lottery. You might not like him the way he liked you, but this was a start. This meant that you hung around him for him.

“Was the plan you and Lewis came up with simply inviting Mick to go to Disneyland?” You ask, the second you were far away enough from Mick.

Sebastian shrugs, “Yeah, basically.”

“Oh you pricks. Thank God I didn’t rely on you two then.”

“Hey! We tried,” Seb remarked. “But we saw you two getting along without our help so we decided to leave you two to it. What did you even talk about?”

“Our shared hatred for you,” you replied with no hesitation. You look over at Sebastian with a grin, watching him roll his eyes, smiling.

“Well if that’s what it took for you two to talk, then I’d happily be the butt of your conversations.”

God. Why did he have to be so nice about it? “I’m just kidding Seb, we just cleared up some misunderstandings. Honestly we should’ve talked sooner, it was such a relief to find out I’d just been overthinking our interactions.”

“Like you do with half of all things, schatz,” Sebastian says softly, smiling at you. He was right, you did overthink too much.

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m trying to change.”

“That’s great, but you know what you should try first before that?” Seb asks with a playful look on his face. He comes to a stop in front of a bee hotel and grabs a paintbrush from beside it, putting it in your hands. “You should try participating in the event.”

“Cheeky bastard,” you mutter, grinning. You didn’t even notice you had walked all the way to the Ferrari station until then. You greet Charles, who was already there, before facing Sebastian again. “Still can’t believe you and Lewis’ plan was just Disneyland. Remind me to never trust you ever again.”

“Love you too,” Seb retorts sarcastically, grinning as he walks away to assist the other drivers. You shake your head with a smile, before facing the bee hotel again. Cheeky bastard.

Sebastian and Lewis had planned more than just Disneyland of course, they weren’t stupid. But the first phase of their plan was complete. Sebastian smiled to himself as he watched Mick talking to Lewis at the Mercedes station, ready to operate the second part of their ‘genius’ plan.

It was going to be a long, interesting week for all of them.

#mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher x you #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel x you #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel #formula one #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #a tiny crumb as in the tiniest of vettonso #because i can #writing

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zoolitsky-fandom · 6 months ago

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Cringetober Day 12

“Vocaloid/Miku”

First . Previous . Next

SOBS I know I’m a bit behind but dw I’m working on catching up!!

For this prompt I didn’t want to draw a straight up Vocaloid bc I’m keeping the theme pretty One Piece centric, so here’s Usopp from that one scene in the oo ee oo video!

Prompt list + reference below!

Reblog are preferred over likes please 😭

#one piece #sanuso #one piece fanart #my art #my post #usopp #one piece usopp #god usopp #usopp fanart #implied ship #but can also just be our love to him ykyk #cringetober 2024 #cringetober #finger artist #october art challenge #october challenge #vocaloid reference #oo ee oo #miku mentioned

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damensource · 3 months ago

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WITH LOVE, FROM NEW ARTES is a dedicated event in 2025 celebrating the relationships within Captive Prince. Prompts can be viewed here.

Scheduled to take place over the course of one week, from February 10th to February 16th, 2025, we extend a warm welcome to all enthusiasts to partake in this event by creating fanworks inspired by the provided prompts. Your contributions are sincerely appreciated.

To help amplify the event, kindly reblog this post on Tumblr.

Craft Captive Prince-related content (e.g., gifsets, fanart, fanfiction, meta) that aligns with the week's designated theme.

Utilize the hashtag #NewArtesValentine2025 when posting on Tumblr to facilitate the discovery and re-sharing of your creations.

Participation in this event is open to all individuals.

Is there a minimum or maximum word count requirement? No, there are no word count restrictions.

Where may I publish my work? This collection is open for contributions. Should you choose to post on Tumblr, kindly use the hashtag #NewArtesValentine2025 to ensure your work can be identified and shared. You have the liberty to post your work as you see fit.

Is co-writing permissible? Absolutely, co-writing is encouraged.

Are only canon ships allowed? All ships are welcome.

Must I create a standalone piece for each day to participate, or may I engage for a single day? You are welcome to participate for as many days as you prefer.

Can I combine prompts, and is there a limit on the number of works I can create for each prompt? Combining prompts is allowed, and there are no restrictions on the number of works you can produce for each prompt.

Is NSFW allowed? Yes, NSFW content is allowed for this event. However, please ensure that your content is appropriately tagged.

Are there any content restrictions? While this is a Captive Prince-centric event, there are no other limitations. Again, please ensure that your content is appropriately tagged.

What types of content can I create? You are free to create a wide range of content, including gifsets, fanart, fanfiction, meta, moodboards, web weavings, videos and more.

Can I write a modern AU, or do I have to stick to the canonverse? We encourage all creative interpretations, so feel free to explore modern settings and scenarios inspired by Captive Prince while adhering to the prompts and rules.

Is it acceptable to post early or late? Ideally, we request that posts be submitted during the week of the event. However, late submissions are welcome, as we will continue to monitor the tag.

Can I repost my existing work for the event or use prompts to enhance an ongoing project? We kindly request that you share only new creations, as our aim is to promote fresh content. However, you are encouraged to augment existing works with new chapters inspired by one or more of the prompts.

Do I need to adhere strictly to the provided prompts? While we encourage content creation based on the prompts or themes offered, please remember that this event is primarily dedicated to celebrating the relationships within Captive Prince. If you believe your content revolves around that, you are welcome to submit it on the day that aligns most closely with your concept.

#captive prince #damianos of akielos #laurent of vere #lamen #capri #faq

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officialthiamlibrary · 9 months ago

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Sign Ups are from July 14th - July 20th. (5PM EST)

Welcome to the Thiam Big Bang 2024!

Wow! It’s that time of year already! Back by popular demand, it’s time for another Big Bang Event! This time, we’ve got a little surprise thanks to the votes for this year’s theme!

How does this work?

Based on the sheer amount of votes by our Thiam fans, we’ve decided to try something different this year! Not only are we offering the Normal Big Bang track this year, but we are also offering one with a central theme: Six Seasons and a Movie!

There will be two tracks for this Big Bang: creating a brand new work in any genre and with any plot you desire, or recreating an episode/plot line etc. from the show to make it more Thiam-centric, or to include Thiam in it at all (shakes fist at everyone involved with the Teen Wolf Movie who forgot Theo existed).

Writers will create an original Theo/Liam work. In a few weeks, writers will submit summaries of their work. During this time, there will be a claiming phase for artists to claim a writer’s summary that they want to create art for. You will then work with your writer/artist/beta to create amazing works for the Big Bang!

What are the rules?

This year, we are bringing back the minimum word limit of 10k. There is no maximum word count. We also ask that you produce a finished work by the final deadline.

Artists, create to your heart’s content using whatever medium you prefer. These include: music playlists, video edits, aesthetics, moodboards, drawings, etc. The world is your oyster!

The main pairing must exclusively be Thiam - poly relationships including Thiam are not allowed. Side pairings/relationships are still allowed, but Thiam must be the central focus and endgame pairing of your fic.

Your fic can be any genre; canon, AU, etc. The floor is yours to write what you want! Take your prompt and run wild with it!

Your entry for the Big Bang cannot be a work that is already published in any form. This must be a creation from scratch!

During the Big Bang, works must not be made public before final posting dates. You can of course talk with your friends, beta, and artist, for plot points, ideas, etc. Please also keep details about your story a secret during the course of the event. This keeps it a fun surprise for everyone when works are posted!

Work together with your partners as you create! This is meant to be a collaborative effort. Artists and authors, please communicate with each other about your vision. The two of you need to work together for this event to be a success for all!

If an author and artist wish to pair up on their own and create, please do so! The more participants, the merrier! Please make sure that both parties fill out the sign-up sheet for the sake of check-ins.

Betas:

Betas are not required for this event! If you have your own beta, great! Betas usually help with grammar and spelling but can also help with ideas, plot holes, etc. Beta readers, please sign up using the form provided! It will be the same form used for artists and authors.

Cheerleaders:

If you are also interested in being a cheerleader for our writers/artists, please jump right in! Cheerleaders offer encouragement, support, can act as a sounding board for ideas, or just generally chat about Thiam and/or the Big Bang event. You can be a cheerleader and a beta, a cheerleader for an artist, author or both. It will be the same form used for artists and authors.

A friend and I already have an idea for a fanfic/fanart collaboration - do we still have to go through the traditional sign up?

The Big Bang is the perfect occasion to do a collab! The sign-up form is adapted to these situations. So, yes, we do ask that you fill out the sign up form and state that you are partnered already. You will not receive the prompt bank in this case. You will still need to take part in check ins so that we know you are on track for posting dates.

Can I sign up with a co-author?

Yes! When filling out the sign up form, please state your co-author and ask them to submit a form as well.

Can I sign up as a writer AND an artist?

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moonferry · 2 months ago

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ISMHO CHAPTER 4: I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER

i know what you're thinking and yes the title is from epic the musical. kent &sam are so ody and telemachus to me. anyway, this one was nice to write. i love samfam so so much. the entire family is so so so important to me.

ALSOOO there are some easter eggs to my other works - forever stuck in our youth and when the sun burns too bright so you can read those too, if you'd like.

BIG thanks to my friend moona (spacesapphi on tumblr and sapphiresstars on ao3) for helping with some ideas found in this chapter :3 he is also a writer and they're currently writing an AMAZING shane centric fic called "moving forward, spiraling downward" i highly recommend. ALSO thank you to my friend sock (siredgarre) for some of their headcanons about vincent :D

summary:

jodi shows kent the concert, and sam and kent finally talk things out!!

word count: 3726

other chapters: chapter masterlist

ao3 link: here

warnings: mentions of past death, parental absence

as always, full chapter below the cut :3

Distant, muffled voices talked quietly, although one of the voices appeared quite exasperated.

“How’d the show go?” A masculine, gruff voice asked. It was followed by momentary silence and then a sigh.

“Kent..” the other voice started, the exhaustion clearly evident in her voice. Jodi pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes tightly as she wondered how to tell her husband about the day’s events. She continued, “It was.. Certainly something.”

“Oh?” Kent asked, raising his eyebrow at Jodi’s choice of words. He eyed his wife warily - searching for the cause of her distress. He knew Jodi preferred softer, piano-esque music and that Sam’s band could be quite noisy, but Jodi always spoke highly of their son - especially his performances.

“What’s wrong, Jo? Did.. did something happen?” Kent asked, extending his hand out and carefully holding Jodi’s wrist.

Jodi sighed once more and gave Kent’s hand a small squeeze. She looked towards Sam’s bedroom door, her eyebrows furrowing together in worry. She spoke, “Well.. it’s just.. You know how important this was to him, right, honey?’

Kent knew. Of course he did. Sam was always excited about his shows, Kent knew this, too.. But this one felt different - in a way. The previous weeks, Sam had been especially secretive about his plans and would constantly ask Kent if he was sure he’d be at the show. And, despite constant reassurance and Kent telling Sam that yes, he would be there, he… wasn’t. He could only imagine how upset Sam had been.

Kent nodded, though he braced himself. He could feel that there was an upcoming “but” in Jodi’s words.

“I know how large crowds make you uncomfortable, so I decided to record it for you,” Jodi explained, fishing around in her small purse and pulling out her digital camera (one that had actually belonged to Kent’s mother and was given as a gift near the time Sam was born - “To capture memories,” Misty had insisted. Jodi kept it ever since).

“The show was amazing. Oh, they all sounded great!” Jodi exclaimed enthusiastically, recalling the better part of the concert, “Sam even had a special surprise, just for you, dear,”

As she was retelling her story, Jodi frowned slightly before continuing, “And then.. Sam.. um… He.. Well, I think it’s better for you to see for yourself.” She pursed her lips into a thin line, extending her palm - which contained the small camera - towards her husband.

Kent raised an eyebrow, skeptical, though he took the camera from Jodi’s hands. He took a deep breath - hesitating to prepare himself for whatever he’d see - and pressed the play button.

The video started off as normal - showing the Goblin Destroyers intro followed by the band members performing several joint songs before moving onto individual pieces.However, Kent noticed Sam seemed… off throughout the entire first half of the show. Nervous, almost. He played wrong notes and - for a reason Kent couldn’t quite determine - kept looking at the audience, almost expectantly. Eventually, it was time for Sam’s song. Kent watched, listening intently as Sam began a small speech before the song.

His voice sprang out, sounding boxy from the old speakers, “This song is for my dad, Kent Neilson. I hope you enjoy it, Dad.” Kent listened to the following song with a curious interest, one that was almost matched with his own guilt.

So.. this is why he wanted me there, Kent thought to himself, his chest tightening as a pang of guilt resounded through it, And I let him down.

He continued to listen to the song, nodding his head along to the soft strum of the guitar. Something about the guitar felt.. Familiar almost. Kent couldn’t place it for the longest time. He found himself staring at it as Sam finished the last line of the song, and, just as Kent recognized it, the unthinkable happened.

Kent watched the video and his eyes widened in horror as Sam hoisted the guitar over his head before letting it crash against the metal of the stage. The image of the video then went skewed - as if whoever was recording had dropped it in surprise. What followed next was distorted audio, although Kent could decipher people arguing. Eventually, the video resumed and Sam was nowhere to be found.

All Kent could see - the audio was still quite distorted at this time - was Sebastian and Abigail approaching Jodi, worried expressions on their faces. He brought the device closer and tried to decipher what was being talked about.

The only thing he managed to hear was the end of Abigail’s last sentence, it appeared she had handed something to Jodi and, while looking sadly, said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Neilson.. About Mr. Neilson’s guitar.. This was all that we could salvage..” There is a brief pause, followed by a small sniffle from Jodi. As the item passed to her hand, it was in the camera’s view long enough for Kent to read it. The video then cuts off.

Kent stares as the video fades into a black screen. He closes his eyes, burying his face into his palms with a long, drawn out sigh.

Jodi approaches her husband and places a caring hand on his shoulder. She rubs small, comforting circles as she tries to console him, “I’m sorry, honey.. I know how much you cared about that guitar..”

“It’s just a guitar. There are thousands like it..,” Kent dismissed with a small shrug. He leaned into Jodi’s caring touch before opening his eyes. He glanced toward the tightly shut door to the left of the living room. He continued, furrowing his brows together, “I’m more worried about Sam, to be honest.”

Kent sighed, rubbing his forehead. He turned to his wife and added, “It’s not like him.. I.. I can’t help but feel like I’m partially responsible.”

“Sweetheart,” Jodi started, a small frown forming on her own lips, “Don’t blame yourself.”

“No, listen to me, Jodi,” Kent retorted, shaking his head. He carefully explained, “You and I both know how he was counting on me to be there.. And I let him down.”

“I’m sure he understands, Kent..”

“Sure he does. He’s the most understanding person I know,” Kent replied with a proud nod. He continued, “But that doesn’t make it fair to Sam. He did something special for me - put this whole thing together - and I couldn’t even show up. That isn’t something a father should do, Jo.”

Kent continued his speech, allowing his thoughts to run freely, “I mean.. Do you know everything that I’ve missed over the years? Countless birthdays, anniversaries, and far too many of Sam’s concerts.”

“Sam is 24, Jodi. Twenty-four. He’s basically a man now and I.. I missed all of it. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, Jo - and I will always regret that -, but I know it’s been especially hard for Sam,” The words spilled from Kent’s mouth and he buried his face deep into his palms. He added, “I wish I could’ve been there for him.”

“But.. I wasn’t. And.. I don’t know how to make it up to him,” Kent admitted sadly. A small sniffle left Kent’s nose and his breath hitched as he said the next words, “I don’t even know if I can anymore.”

“That may be true,” Jodi started, reaching her hand over and gently placing it on Kent’s own. She gave it a careful squeeze, waiting for him to look at her. She continued, “But, you know what you can do?”

“What?” Kent asked, looking at his wife, confused.

“Talk to him.”

Kent nodded. He pushed himself into a standing position. Before moving any further, he leaned down, carefully squeezing Jodi tightly, and placed a big, affectionate kiss onto Jodi’s cheek. He beamed at his wife and exclaimed proudly, “Jodi Neilson, you are the smartest woman in the world.”

Jodi blushed sheepishly, leaning into Kent’s kiss. Then, she laughed and gently pushed Kent away, “Okay, okay. I love you, too, Kent.” She shook her head at her husband’s antics, before motioning him onward, “Now go talk to our son.”

Kent walked towards Sam’s door. He took a deep breath before knocking two knuckles against the door. As he did this, Kent spoke, “Sam? Can I come in? It.. it’s Dad.”

Silence.

Kent sighed, resting his forehead against the door. He tried once again, “Sam?” Once again, there was no response. Kent pursed his lips together.

“Your mother.. She showed me your performance,” Kent explained, hoping his words reached Sam through the small gap between the door and its frame. He continued, “You sounded really good.”

“Ah.. I remember when you were younger. You were always crawling into my lap - barely able to hold the guitar - begging me to teach you how to play,” He recounted, a small smile spreading across his lips. Then, the smile soon faded as he remembered that the very guitar he was imagining so fondly was now a pile of splinters in some Zuzu City dumpster.

Kent paused for a moment before adding, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

When he was greeted with more silence, Kent gave an understanding nod and sighed. He turned to walk away - as it was clear Sam didn’t want to talk. However, just as he was about to give up, the door opened with a soft click.

Behind it stood a remorseful looking Sam, his arms crossed over his chest. He did not meet Kent’s gaze. Kent reached out and attempted to place a caring hand on his son’s shoulder.

Sam stopped him, shaking his head and pushing his hand away. He looked at Kent sadly and stated matter-of-factly, “You promised you’d be there.”

“Sam..I..”

“But you weren’t,” Sam interrupted, his anger slowly returning. He clenched his fist - shaking as a wave of emotion washed over him. He continued, “Why? Why weren’t you there..? You promised me you’d be there, Dad. Promised.”

“You always do this. You promise things and then you break those promises. You’re never there when I need you.” Sam was rambling now, as if every grievance he had been holding from the past years was finally bubbling to the surface. He felt angry, but a small part of him felt relieved, too. It’s like Star has said: Sam should let Kent know how much his actions hurt him.

“Did you know Vincent will look for me before he looks for you? Do you know what its like - having to raise your younger brother, having to take care of your mother because you’re terrified of your father dying. But.. you can’t tell anyone how you feel because you aren’t supposed to feel? You’re supposed to be understanding and..supposed to put everyone else before yourself.”

“Do you know what it’s like to be in my place? I had to step into your shoes at the age of sixteen. I was a child, I should’ve… I don’t know. Hung out with my friends. Instead.. I spent every single day worrying about your safety - but I had to be strong for Mom, for Vincent. I had to be strong for everyone else and.. I needed you to be strong for me, Dad.”

“But.. you weren’t there. And, yeah, I get it. Don’t get me wrong - I admire you and I think your job is super important, but… aren’t we important, too?”

“Sam,” Kent interrupted, pulling his son into a tight hug. Sam was shaking now - fighting back tears. He did not hug Kent back. Instead, he allowed himself to be held - Kent’s grip never faltering.

“I’m so sorry,” Kent apologized, moving his hand to gently cradle the back of Sam’s head - similar to how one would hold a baby. He sniffled, feeling Sam turn even more rigid at the touch. Kent continued, “For everything.”

“I wanted to go, trust me,” Kent attempted to explain. He looked at his son’s hurt expression and silently scolded himself. Why hadn’t he noticed something was bothering Sam sooner? Why did something drastic have to happen before it was addressed? He sighed, looking down at the floor, and continued, “But.. the more I thought about it.. The more I realized.. I didn't think I could handle it.”

“I know you really wanted me there, Sam, and I truly am sorry.”

Sam did not respond, at least not right away. He stood there - silent and still, completely unlike his usual bubbly and bouncy self.

Kent noted Sam’s uncharacteristic behavior and sighed. “I wish I could've been there for you. For all of you.”

“And.. I want you to know that you are important,” He spoke, though a part of him felt guilty that Sam ever questioned that fact. He continued, love and adoration filling his voice, “You, your mother, and your younger brother? You three are the most important things in my life, Sam.”

Sam looked up at Kent sadly, though he gave a halfhearted scoff. He pursed his lips together, mumbling, “It doesn't seem like it.”

“Sometimes.. It feels like.. all you do is work. You're here for a few seconds and then you're gone again. Do you know how it affects us? Or.. are you just trying to run away from it all?”

Kent shook his head. “Sam,” he pleaded, “There is a reason, I promise.” He paused, exhaling a small sigh and debating whether he wanted to tell Sam or not.

Kent pursed his lips together before pulling away from the hug, looking Sam in the eye.

“When I was around your age - maybe a few years younger,” Kent began, his expression darkening as he recounted the events. He took a deep, shaky breath before adding, “I lost my own father. Then, a few months later, I lost two of my best friends within the same week.”

“I was crushed. And.. all I could think about was how unfair the world was. It felt like I was looking after everyone - including my mother and yours - but.. no one was looking out for me.”

“I couldn't figure out what the hell I’d done to deserve it, you know?” Kent admitted, looking down st the ring of dogtags that laid neatly around Sam’s neck. He knew the names well. He had given them to Sam, after all, for safekeeping. Sam, while he didn't know the names personally, wore the dog tags with pride - it was a small, metal chain with three thin plates; tags belonging to Kent himself, and his two friends: Daniel Sawyer and Vincent “Lee” Leegland.

Kent closed his eyes harshly, trying to avoid the rush of spotty memories that threatened to come back. He hadn't remembered much - it was nearly 25 years ago and Kent’s mind had begun blocking out memories of the war - but through accounts from people who knew them (such as Jodi and Willy), Kent knew enough to remember how important the two men were. He continued speaking, “But.. I knew I had to try. So, initially.. I went back for that very reason - to find a purpose; some intangible reason for the world’s cruelty,.”

Kent made a small “hmph” sound, his lips curving downward in a small frown. He spoke once more, “You were about six when I went back into service.. And it was the hardest thing I had ever done - leaving you and your mother alone, that is.”

“So.. why did you?” Sam asked, looking up at his father expectantly.

“Because they needed me,” Kent replied matter-of-factly, though he sounded slightly sad - as if remembering an argument he had with Jodi over this very same thing nearly 18 years ago.

“Eventually, I began moving up the ranks. Because I was working harder than anyone else in my squad, they soon promoted me to Colonel - commander of the naval forces, too.. But, as nice as the recognition was.. that was no longer the reason I kept going back - not entirely, anyway.”

“Do you know what that reason was, Sam?”

Sam raised an eyebrow - curious.

“It was you,” Kent admitted.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, scrunching up his face in confusion.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you were safe, son,” Kent explained, resting his hand protectively on Sam’s shoulder. He continued, “My father did the same thing when I was younger - I didn’t understand it then, just as you do now, but… when you were born - something changed. I had something I needed to take care of, something I could lose..”

“I hadn’t intended to go back as many times as I did.. But.. when the conditions worsened and there were rumors of an upcoming draft.. I knew I couldn’t let them get you,” Kent admitted. His usually stoic and unreadable expression turned slightly solemn.

He continued, “I wasn’t given a choice, Sam. But…this was a way of ensuring you were. I couldn’t let them do that to you. Not after everything I witnessed out there..”

“So.. you went back to keep me from being drafted?” Sam repeated, his brows furrowing together - deep in thought. All this time, he had assumed Kent went back because he wanted to - not because he was trying to protect Sam.

“Yes,” Kent replied with a small nod, “Because that is what you do for the people you love.”

Sam sat there in stunned silence for a moment. He couldn’t believe everything he had just heard. It completely changed Sam’s perception of his father. However, it also made him feel extremely guilty. He sighed, glancing down at his shoes uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry about your guitar, Dad,” Sam mumbled. He didn’t meet Kent’s eyes. “I’ll work doubles at the Joja Mart - buy you a new one. It won’t be the same, though..”

Kent chuckled - a hearty, deep sound that jarred Sam. His father had always been quite stoic and rarely laughed - faintly smiling was the most Sam had ever seen from the man. He gently patted Sam’s shoulder before shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it, son,” Kent assured him. He spoke once more, repeating the sentiment he had told Jodi earlier, “At the end of the day.. It’s just a guitar.”

“What about the memories?” Sam asked, his lips forming a faint frown. He knew how much Kent had loved that guitar - how proud Kent was to pass it onto Sam when he was old enough, how Kent had always encouraged Sam to follow his passion for music. He sniffled slightly, realizing he had destroyed all of it. He mumbled, “Aren’t you going to miss them? Aren’t you angry that they’re gone?”

“I.. I know how hard it is for you to remember things - since… y’know.. the war and all..”

“I’m not angry, I promise,” Kent looked at his son, waiting for Sam to meet his gaze. “I’m more worried about you, Sam.”

“I just wish we had talked sooner,” Kent sighed, resting his forehead against the tips of two of his fingers - rubbing small circles against his temple. He spoke once again, “It was unfair of me to expect this much of you. You should’ve been able to enjoy your teenage years, not have to fill in my shoes. I didn’t realize how much this was affecting you. I.. I thought I was protecting you from all this pain - not that I was unintentionally causing more.”

“I know I haven’t been the best father to you, Sam, and I will always regret that,” Kent continued, a wave of guilt covering his features. A small part of him would always be worried that his family would resent him - especially Sam. He pursed his lips together before adding, “I wish I could’ve been there for you more. I’m really sorry, son.”

“Actually,” Sam began, looking up at his father with a small smile, “You’ve been a pretty great dad. I know you were trying - even if I couldn’t see it. So.. I’m sorry, too.”

Kent returned his son’s smile. Sam hesitated before pulling Kent into a tight hug. He buried his head into the man’s neck, closing his eyes tightly as he squeezed Kent - as if he would vanish if Sam were to let go. He took a deep breath before speaking once more, “I love you, Dad.”

Kent was surprised by the sudden hug - the force nearly knocking him backwards. He waited a few seconds and Sam felt his heart drop when Kent hadn’t hugged him back yet. Then, Kent wrapped his own arms around his son - gently cradling his head once again. Tears stung at the edges of Kent’s eyes and he sniffled before replying, “I love you too, Sam.”

“You really aren’t mad,” Sam started, finally breaking the hug and looking at his father once more. He continued, “About the guitar, I mean..”

Kent sighed, but he shook his head, “No, I’m not mad. I’ll miss the memories, sure.. But we can always make more.”

“And, besides,” He started, turning to face the living room. He pointed to the small wooden chip resting neatly on the coffee table, “At least one part survived, right?”

Sam stared at the chip for a moment - amazed that someone had picked it up. He let out a small “huh” of surprise and slowly approached it. He gently scooped up the wood before running his thumb over the faded lettering and the jagged grooves of the wood. As he looked at the wood, an idea popped into his head.

“Hey, Dad?” Sam called out over his shoulder. He then turned towards Kent and added, “I have an idea.. But I’ll need your help.” Kent raised an eyebrow, but he nodded and followed Sam.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon building a small, wooden jewelry box - ensuring they had left a space big enough for the wood chip to fit snugly inside of. Afterwards, Sam found his younger brother and helped him write a small message on a different piece of wood, writing his own to accompany it. When they had finished, the three boys carefully placed the box on Jodi’s bedside table, as a surprise for her. What Kent didn’t know, however, was that Sam had included a surprise for him as well - another note, similar to the one Kent had left many years ago. It was a similarly shaped piece of wood, nestled delicately inside the box. It read: “Thank you for always supporting me. I couldn’t have done it without you, Dad. Love, Sam.”

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lovelyjasmari · 11 months ago

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Pomefiore Endnote - Perfectionism, Apathy and the True Tragedy of Book 5

Warning: Long post and pic heavy.

So…this is something of a continuation of my last twst reaction post, where I analyzed the Absolutely Beautiful dance video. I ended the post by saying that the true tragedy was not that NRC Tribe lost but that Vil could be convinced he was an inferior performer compared to Neige. Now I’m going to expand on that…in excruciating detail. XD

In all seriousness, though, I'm not really sure if I'd call this an analysis in the traditional sense. Maybe more like a long-winded rant based on canon observations. But all the same, I’ve been grappling with this for the last year and a half since when Book 6 first dropped in EN. I’ve wanted to share my thoughts for a long time but decided against it because I acknowledge how contentious this topic is in the fandom and I prefer to keep my online space as drama-free as possible. I also didn’t want anyone to get the idea I’m attacking others when at most, I’m just being critical.

But with the new story update imminent and it looking like it will be Pomefiore-centric, I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t share this soon, I never will. My timing is admittedly ass but I think it would be worse if I share this AFTER the update and you’re about to understand why.

So before we dive in, disclaimer. This is going to cover the end of Book 5 and the first few chapters of Book 6 and my in-depth opinions on both. There will be mentions of trauma/mental illness and some very blunt (but honest) Rook criticism. But please keep in mind, that while I have my own interpretation of the twst characters and their respective arcs, I am not Yana and ultimately, my opinions are just that. Opinions. Everything I say is subjective at best but a lot of what’s coming up is based on a blend of canon observations as well as my own specific, personal experiences as someone with very similar life experiences as Vil and has been dancing for most of her life.

Still, these are just opinions and I have no intention to offend anyone. But if you don’t like reading negative things about Rook or take issue with this general way of thinking, I HIGHLY advise you to ignore this and respectfully (or quietly) agree that we disagree.

When I wrote the greater bulk of this, it was around when Book 6 dropped in EN. A year has passed since then and I’ve had time to think more about my opinions here and, to a greater extent, how I feel about Book 5. This may sound strange but I feel that Book 5 is both the best and worst part of twst’s main story to date. I really like how it touched upon something that isn’t really isn’t talked about much; how we as a society both admire beauty but also vilify it. Vil’s primary dilemma is how he is wrongfully villainized for his beauty, wealth, and harsh personality, despite subverting expectations of cruelty at every turn. Ironically, when the fandom mischaracterizes him as vain, cruel, classist, racist and the like, they are falling into that same literary trap. Proving the point of his arc.

And as much as I hated the ending from an emotional point of view, I actually love it as well, ironically for reasons that might not have been intentional. What I hated, mostly, was the fandom’s response. There was a great opportunity here for some deep discussion regarding society’s views on beauty, how constant trauma causes us to internalize false perceptions of ourselves, and the rather fascinating/dangerous dynamic Vil has with his vice dorm leader. Instead, any interesting discourse has been lost in all the misinterpretations of Vil. To the point I wonder if we all actually read the same story. I’m disappointed in the fandom, but somehow not surprised either.

But regardless, Rook’s actions were extremely disquieting but not for the reasons you might think. There was nothing wrong with his decision but the way he went about it and how he (and Vil) tried to justify it really left such a nasty taste in my mouth and I gotta talk about it to get it out.

First I just want to commend Vil for his level of maturity and rationality regarding his overblot. Even when it was happening, not once has he tried to justify his actions and in fact it was his own guilt at his potential wrongdoing that ultimately caused it. His fear that in a brief, desperate attempt to be seen as not a monster, he became exactly that. Throughout Book 5, it is implied that Vil already sees himself as a villainous person and internalizes that image of himself almost with pride. But despite this false perception, his actions have always proven the opposite and it’s clear that Vil has always valued being altruistic, determined and just. And his guilt when he failed to meet his own standards was beyond compare.

I feel that this guilt sets Vil apart from the other overblots thus far. Most importantly, he apologized of his own volition and wasn’t forced to. That alone makes him stand out among the overblot characters and, to my mind, makes him the most compelling of them all. If I’m being completely honest, out of all those who have overblotted thus far, Vil has been the LEAST problematic even before his overblot. And the one instance where Vil displayed any “cruelty” beforehand is EXTREMELY subjective. (his treatment of Epel) But the fact that Vil has been the least problematic overblot student so far also makes him the most tragic. And makes what’s about to happen next all the more disturbing.

Interestingly enough, Jamil is correct about this but for the wrong reason and here comes the first point. There was no indication that the audience was anything but enthralled with NRC Tribe. And if Vil or any of the others made significant mistakes, because of Vil’s fame, I’m certain they would have been pointed out by magicam netizens. With the recent release of the Absolutely Beautiful mv over on twst jp, we now also have a visual to go off from.

I talk about this more in a previous post but basically, yes, NRC Tribe’s performance wasn’t perfect, but based on what I saw, I would have expected A LOT worse considering the circumstances. The fact is all evidence points to the NRC boys giving a wonderful performance made all the more remarkable by the fact they were still able to perform after dealing with Vil’s OB not too long before. And the audience clearly thought so too if they were only one vote away from victory.

To add to this point, when the other characters comment on the NRC Tribe’s performance, they make no mention of any noticeable errors. And when Crowley laments their defeat later, again, there’s no mention of any errors. Considering that Ambrose was pretty pretentious about RSA winning, I'm sure he’d mention that, too.

Even further, one thing you learn from being on stage is that your audience rarely notices mistakes unless they are extremely obvious. You, as the performer, might notice, but you quickly learn not to draw attention to your errors and keep it moving. Now of course, the NRC characters could be biased because they want to defeat RSA. But considering the nature of a lot of them, I doubt they would lie so flagrantly. Especially Jack who is pretty no-nonsense even with the people he likes. And Malleus who seems pretty difficult to impress. So if their commentaries are to be believed, this shows that any errors made by the NRC Tribe were not noticeable.

That Vil would think otherwise speaks to something far deeper and far more insidious. Stick a pin in that; we’ll come back to it soon enough.

Vil then goes on to explain to the boys that Neige and his friends worked just as hard and had their own struggles. That Neige grew up in an improvised environment and had to juggle acting obligations with household chores and helping out the dwarves. Again, it is extremely commendable that Vil is able to acknowledge this about this rival. It shows that his contempt for Neige was never as simple as “boo hoo people think he’s more beautiful than me” and he at least respects Neige’s efforts even if this explanation once again falls flat.

Firstly, narratively speaking it doesn’t make sense that Vil is just finding out about Neige’s backstory now (likely from Rook) because I feel like he should already be aware. In fact, all through Book 5, I thought that he did know but didn’t care. Honestly, Neige’s backstory shouldn’t matter to Vil anyway and surprisingly, it’s Ace of all people who explains why.

Neige’s struggles might matter to his fans but at the end of the day if Neige cannot perform better than Vil, then that’s his own fault. There are many artists out there who have to deal with similar struggles but come out as phenomenal performers and yet Neige’s “best” basically consists of the twst equivalent of this meme. Precious, but cannot compare to all the sweat and tears Vil and his team were put through.

There’s actually an interesting analysis floating around this hellsite about how Neige’s childish performance was actually an incredibly manipulative tactic and could have been intentional if he were a different character. I’m not gonna link it cause I don’t want to bring any heat to the op. But I will say that while I don’t think Neige intended to manipulate the audience with his cuteness, in the end, it did indeed work in his favor. And the fact that Vil thought to train Epel to weaponize his cuteness to defeat Neige indicates that he’s already no stranger to seeing such underhanded tactics in the industry he works in. In his beansday vignette, Vil mentions an actor he initially admired destroying one of his stage outfits. If Neige weren’t presented as so naive and twisted from a traditionally “good” character, his choice regarding his performance could be regarded as deliberate. Which is why Vil lamented that he and his team had been “outplayed”.

Back on topic, what I took away from this was that, once again, Vil’s hard work and determination count for nothing because of things he cannot control. Because he was born to wealth, because he didn’t have the same hardships, he doesn’t deserve the same consideration or sympathy as Neige. And his wealth and beauty once again put him in the position of villain to Neige’s hero. It’s a textbook case very common in media, like Sharpay opposing Gabriella in High School Musical. But what’s worse is that from all that we’ve seen of Vil, he could coast on his wealth, beauty and father's fame if he wanted to.

Instead, he chooses to work hard and have his accomplishments come from his own merit. When anyone else in his situation could easily choose the opposite. And just from a personal standpoint, if I practiced day and night for a dance competition and ended up losing to someone under my level simply because they were cute and disenfranchised, I would feel extremely insulted. At the end of the day, Ace is correct and whatever struggles Neige and his team had, they were still inferior performers.

And to add to this point, I believe that at some point Vil KNEW this even AFTER his OB. Despite his earlier anguish at never being able to perform innocent cuteness like his rival, once his mind was clearer, he was able to see that NRC Tribe’s performance was still technically better. He was able to see how the audience responded to Neige and still believed in himself as a better performer. I say this based on another scene earlier in book 5.

Vil was undoubtedly in a very emotionally vulnerable place right after his overblot. He went to great lengths to conceal the aftereffects before going on stage to the point he collapsed as soon as he was alone. After going so long trying to hide them, his darkest, ugliest emotions were laid bare to his teammates and to himself. Manifesting in the worst way possible. And as a professional performer, if any errors were made, he would have been painfully aware of them.

And yet, despite having just dealt with the darkest moment of his life, Vil was still able to stand upon the stage until the very end and give the best performance he could. Against all odds, before a world that has wrongfully perceived him as evil and hideous for most of his life.

And despite knowing that Neige possesses all that he never can, it is strongly implied that Vil still chooses to vote for his own team. Meaning he saw the appeal in Neige’s performance and STILL knew that he did better. And I’d like to believe that even if Vil was aware of Neige’s backstory, he would have still made the same decision. It’s easy to be beautiful when everything is right and perfect in your world. But being able to smile even when you’re struggling and your heart is breaking is even more beautiful still.

Sadly, Vil isn’t likely to realize this anytime soon and will continue to see his own mental struggles as not as valid or “ugly.” Now back to that original pin of thought, Vil will likely continue to believe that he didn’t deserve to win the VDC despite all evidence to the contrary. He’s likely to continue internalizing the false villainous image of himself as well. And for that we now must get to the crux of this matter.

At first glance, this statement doesn’t seem like much but when you look deeper, and look back at some of Rook’s own actions, this comes off as incredibly hypocritical and cruel. As we have seen from Vil’s backstory, he has dealt with untold hardships as well. But Vil’s anguish is more internalized than Neige’s and it’s very unlikely that he has ever really been open about how dehumanizing and hurtful his treatment has been.

And from an outsider’s perspective, his problems aren’t as dire anyway. It’s just like Vil said, his life has been quite different from Neige’s. But mental trauma doesn’t know demographics and can affect anyone. The fact is what Vil has gone through is extremely traumatizing and comes from nothing beyond people wrongfully vilifying him for his beauty. Projecting their insecurities onto him from a very young age. It’s clear that what Vil has dealt with has fundamentally altered how he sees himself.

But at the same time, what do you think would happen if Vil WAS more open about his frustrations? The dehumanizing effect and the bullying? The typecasting and prejudice thrown his way? And the feeling that nothing he does will ever be enough to break free from his villainous mold? What would happen if Vil were to be open about ANY of that? He would be mocked and shamed and perceived as shallow, petty and crying about nothing. Lowkey how many in the fandom already see Vil anyway. We as a society sadly don’t take mental illness as seriously as we should but when celebrities deal with it? It quickly becomes meme fodder and nowhere is this more obvious than on stan twitter. We are all guilty of feeding into it, whether we’re honest about it or not.

Ironically, Vil’s mental struggles is one of the things that would make him more “relatable.” But the truth is that people would never accept that because society has a long history of trivializing the mental issues of celebrities because they seem so far removed from normal people. And then being surprised pikachu faced when they do something drastic to themselves. So Vil internalizes all of it because he knows he can’t be open about it.

A person like him simply can’t be open about his hardships but HERE is the kicker: neither can Neige. He also has an image of perfection to uphold so it is likely he is also internalizing mental struggles of his own. Living and caring for seven others can’t be easy in addition to trying to grow his career. And if his deeper origins are anything like his Disney counterpart, how he came to live with the dwarves must have been traumatic as well.

But here’s the difference: from Rook’s perspective, he is “better” at internalizing those ugly emotions than Vil is. After all, Neige is able to overcome all his struggles and still smile and not give hints to them, but when Vil finally buckled under all of his own trauma, we see what happened.

There’s also the fact that since Rook and Neige attend different schools, Rook doesn’t have as close a seat to any of Neige’s more personal troubles. So it’s likely easier for Rook to project his own ideas of beauty onto Neige because from his perspective, he is perfect. He is beautiful. He is pure. Like the legendary singing princess Rook so reveres. He isn’t plagued with any of the ugly emotions that caused Vil to overblot. And if Neige DOES have ugly feelings or ugly trauma responses, Rook isn’t privy to them, so they clearly must not exist.

I genuinely believe that THIS is what Rook meant when he stated Vil’s performance wasn’t as beautiful as Neige’s. I know he mentions another reason at the end of book 5 but in my mind, they are both one and the same. Whatever technical difficulties NRC Tribe had, they were still polished enough to garner enough votes that it was only Rook’s flawed ideology that sealed their fate. And throughout book 5, Rook is hinted at being aware of Vil’s internal struggles and yet still chose to stay silent. He frequently saw that Vil was struggling but tried to justify his silence by saying it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But that is also untrue because we’ve seen time and again Rook is more than willing to stick his nose in Vil’s businesses. His labwear vignette is the most obvious example but there are plenty of others. In Book 6 Rook admits that his decision to go to the Isle of Woe was fully a selfish one. Leaving Pomefiore without leadership and potentially falling into chaos (the only dorm to have no clear leadership at all during the crisis) simply because he wanted to give Vil skin products that he really didn’t need. A few days without them wouldn’t do that much harm and Rook essentially placed Epel, Yuu and himself in great danger for a reason far more shallow than anything Vil has done in the name of beauty.

He also admits that he would have been willing to drink the poisoned juice Vil gave to Neige for again, a pretty shallow (and extremely twisted) reason. If he’s willing to do that, he is more than capable of intervening in other matters on Vil’s behalf. And later in book 6, it’s revealed that Rook was originally a Savannaclaw student but made the very unprecedented decision to transfer to Pomefiore in part due to his fascination with Vil and desire to further study beauty under him. So Rook had EVERY opportunity to step in regarding his overblot. Even if Rook couldn’t be his “savior”, the fact that Vil would see that he at least had support could have gone a long way.

But Rook’s silence is rather in keeping with his character and his own ideas about beauty. I find this quote very ironic based on how he and Vil are frequently misconstrued. The Pomefiore dorm leaders' views on beauty appear to be the opposite of each other.

Vil can be extremely strict, harsh and can come off as critical at times, but he is never harder on someone than he is himself. He has shown time and again that he sees beautiful potential in anyone. And Vil is more than willing to share the spotlight with his NRC Tribe; build them up from scratch and give each of them the chance to show off their potential. Likely because he knows all too well what it means to be in the shadow of someone else.

Even further, when we look at the dichotomy of a villain versus a hero, the main difference is how they respond to their personal pain. A villain takes their pain and says “the world hurt me so I’m gonna hurt the world”. While a hero says “the world hurt me and I’m not going to let it hurt others”. Up until his overblot, Vil has been the latter of these examples. He wants the best for those around them and while his methods might be difficult to understand, they always bear results. Vil can honestly see beauty in anything, even if he has to coax it out in his own way.

Rook’s views on beauty however, all seem to be based upon the superficial and the evidence can be found in his Halloween vignette. There, he explains further how he grew to adore Neige and based on what he said, it sounded more like obsession than actual reverence. There’s also hints to this in his most recent birthday vignette as well. His ideas seem to be very fantastical, far removed from reality and so obsessive to the point that it actually affects his ability to be a good person. Such an obsession can sometimes make people oblivious to the world and in Rook’s case, often cause him to act out in ways that border on problematic.

In his fixation, he stalks Leona and Jade, says some weirdly otherist shit to Malleus, harasses and assaults Ruggie, and places ridiculously high standards on both Vil AND Neige that rob them of their humanity. Rook saw firsthand how deeply Vil’s insecurities ran. He heard Vil cry and scream out how ugly he felt. He saw Vil’s anguish and despair firsthand and seeing all that, still chose to punish him because Vil’s lack of confidence made him unable to respond to his trauma in a beautiful way. Or at least in a way he could deem as beautiful based on his vapid description of the word.

Rook will likely never be privy to any ugliness Neige has displayed so for him, the fantasy remains intact. And in chasing that fantasy, he betrays not just Vil, but his other teammates as well. Then has the audacity to try to justify it with bullshit ideology and sadly, because of Vil’s low opinion of himself, Rook succeeds. Vil holds Rook’s opinion so highly that he is able to take advantage of that and compel him (and the others) to see his point of view. And believe it or not, in chasing that fantasy, the NRC Tribe members were not the only ones Rook hurt.

Neige might have been happy to have won but he was essentially rewarded for an inferior performance and robbed of an important lesson. One far more valuable than any “lesson” Vil had to learn. As mentioned before, even with all of his hardships, if what we saw in book 5 was the best Neige could do, that still means he is not as good a performer as Vil. If cuteness, nostalgia and warm fuzzy feels are the only thing Neige can offer, he could easily find himself struggling to remain in the entertainment industry as he ages. Not unlike many other former child stars in real life.

Losing the VDC could have been a major wake-up call to Neige that if he wants to continue acting, he has to do better. People might not take him seriously when he’s still doing the cutesy bullshit ten years from now. But because he won, this will likely never cross his mind. Neige will learn nothing.

Now before anyone begins writing up their comments about how Vil verbally stated that Rook was right, I’d like to bring up one final point: Vil agreeing with Rook was another trauma response. Internalizing Rook’s response because it is so in keeping with all he has been made to believe about himself, about Neige, and how it has all now been “confirmed” by his overblot. From his point of view, Rook has no reason to lie to him.

But just because Vil states that Rook was correct, does not mean that it’s true. Despite being one of the more positive characters in the game and being twisted from a “good” character, Rook is just as morally grey as everyone else in the twst cast and just as capable of dubiousness. And this would not be the first time something like this has occurred between Vil and Rook. Once again, I bring up Vil’s labwear vignette. Particularly this exchange here:

Okay, so beyond the general tactlessness of telling Vil he’s gaining weight in spite of knowing how such a statement would affect him, what Rook is basically suggesting to him is that he cannot trust anyone but him. Not even his own senses. That for all of his perceptiveness, Vil is incapable of seeing himself accurately. Though he initially does not believe it, Vil eventually does accept Rook’s statement despite knowing it was bullshit twenty seconds before.

Later on, Vil mentions to Trey that Rook’s only crime is being too blunt and perceptive. It’s true that having another point of view is important at times, but the level of trust Vil has in Rook’s opinion can also be dangerous if he can convince Vil to doubt himself so easily. Theirs is an interesting dynamic but it also has potential to be extremely toxic and detrimental to Vil. At best, Rook gives him useful insight and pushes him to be the best he can be. But at worst, Rook contributes to Vil’s insecurities, enables his more toxic tendencies and his fawning of Neige feeds into his obsession to be the fairest one of all in the worst way possible. Rook can’t be completely oblivious to this. It would be such an easy thing for him to take advantage of Vil’s doubt in himself and value/dependency on his opinion.

Which is exactly what Rook does. As much flack Vil gets in this fandom for being critical and harsh to others, he never criticizes someone harder than he will criticize himself. This is a person who has grown up in the spotlight and has had to maintain an image of perfection for most of his life. A person who gave up one of his favorite condiments because of the damage it caused to his skin. A person who has so deeply internalized the villainous image people have projected on him that he wears it almost as a badge of honor. And because he holds himself to such a high standard and already internalizes a lot of toxic beliefs about himself, it makes perfect sense that Vil would agree with Rook. In his current way of thinking, Vil has no reason to disagree with Rook because from his point of view, Rook has always been honest to him and his overblot already proved he was unworthy of victory anyway.

Of course Vil must be gaining weight. How could he possibly be objective regarding himself? How vain he must be. And how could Vil possibly be objective regarding his VDC performance and still vote for himself after such an ugly trauma response? He can’t trust his judgment, he can’t even trust his own senses. How arrogant and pathetic Vil must be if he can still vote for himself in good conscience after witnessing the pure wholesomeness of Neige Leblanche. Someone who would never overblot. Thankfully, he has Rook to humble that arrogance and tell him what he needs to know. Even if he’s tactless about it.

I mean, Vil literally ran looking for a scale immediately after Rook’s comments on his weight. He probably added an extra hour to his daily workout routine the morning after eating the cake Trey gave him. I don’t believe that Rook is completely oblivious of Vil’s darker feelings, just as Vil has stated, he keeps too close an eye on him not to be oblivious. And he was astute enough to keep his infatuation with Neige a secret from Vil for nearly two years. This had to have been intentional. It honestly makes me wonder what Rook thinks of Vil on a more personal level.

But regardless, the fact is, Rook was always going to vote for Neige and his explanation at the end of Book 5 was always going to be his reasoning. Vil’s overblot just gave him a more “legitimate” reason to do so. For whatever reverence he holds for Vil, it was never going to trump his reverence for Neige. The fact he brought all of his Neige photos with him to the training camp further implies that he was never going to be objective in this situation. And seeing Vil almost poison Neige probably further convinced him that Vil was undeserving of victory.

That may make Rook seem duplicitous considering how positive and sincere he seems to be, but he’s still human. And truthfully, him voting for his bias is not an inherently bad thing. What makes him inconsiderate in this situation is openly telling Vil he prefers the catalyst for all his insecurities and overblot, while Vil was still grieving and in a very vulnerable place. Then justifying his decision as the correct one based on his own personal preferences, weaponizing that vulnerability to avoid being called out. Knowing that Vil wasn’t likely going to object.

Even if NRC Tribe did win, it’s very likely Rook would have still brought up his vote to Vil and still convinced him it was undeserved. I would even go so far as to argue that Rook’s remarks about Neige early on in book 5 as well as Vil’s labwear vignette foreshadow the ending of book 5/start of book 6 far more than the fact that the huntsman betrayed the evil queen in the original Snow White.

That coupled with a perfectionist like Vil looking back at their less-than-perfect performance is what compelled him to agree with Rook. If we take into account the idea that Vil still chose to vote for his own team afterwards, Rook’s actions and words probably further pushed him into believing in the idea of his inherent villainy and inferiority to Neige. After all, surely Neige Leblanche would never be reduced to such a hideous state. His heart is too pure, the fairest one of all and as different from Vil as night and day.

If left to his own devices without Rook to influence him, Vil might not be so hard on himself in this case and would resent his defeat more. As he has every right to. But instead, Vil agreed with what was easiest and what made most sense based on everything that has happened in his life and all that he has been made to believe about himself. Why should he continue protesting when no one else will?

Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen of Vil’s tenacity, excellence and kindness. Why should he believe that he is the most beautiful one of all when Mira frequently tells him the opposite? Why should he believe in his own noble spirit when people openly say it’s not enough and that he’s not relatable enough to be a hero? Why shouldn’t he believe he is hideous when the entire world says it’s so? When even a large majority of this very fucking fandom mischaracterize him as such and agree with Rook anyway?

Why should Vil question any of this?

And Vil will sadly continue to be second to Neige and will likely never question it. He will continue to internalize the toxic dichotomy between him and Neige and again, why shouldn’t he? After all, Vil is the evil queen to Neige’s Snow White, the Sharpay to his Gabriella, the Odile to his Odette. And Neige is the Madonna to Vil’s whore. Vil is not supposed to be the hero in this story and not even his trusted vice dorm leader has faith in him.

In discourse regarding the end of book 5, I’ve often heard it said that this was a “lesson” Vil had to learn in order to become a better person. I believe there was indeed a lesson to be learned from this, but not the one that many think. Since Vil knew from the beginning that trying to poison Neige was wrong, he didn’t need to learn how to play fair like Leona.

Despite being a harsh leader, Vil was generally always fair with his teammates and again, as a former dancer, the way Vil instructed the NRC Tribe members seemed tame compared to some of the dance teachers I’ve had in the past. So learning to be less tyrannical wasn’t the lesson to learn either, like with Riddle. And part of what led to his overblot was realizing that NRC Tribe had been “outplayed” by Neige’s cuteness. But he still had enough faith in his ability to vote for his own team, so learning not to be manipulative wasn’t really needed either, like with Azul.

No, the lesson for Vil here is that hard work is rarely ever rewarded fairly. And that his trauma is not valid because he was blessed in a way that Neige was not. He must always take second place to him because of his blessings while simultaneously ALWAYS being perfect. And because of his blessings, he can never express ugly emotions, he can never express anguish, and he must always, ALWAYS, take his mistreatment in stride. And God forbid if Vil DOES respond to his trauma in an ugly manner, he WILL be punished for it. He will ALWAYS be punished for it and by those closest to him no less.

If Vil doesn’t like how they’ve treated him in his darkest hour, tough titties. It’s all his fault for not hiding his trauma to begin with. And he doesn’t even have the right to a moment to himself to cry.

But that is where my analysis ends. Honestly this was kind of painful to write because it has made me fully realize just how much I’ve grown to disdain Rook after adoring him for so long. You all have no idea how hard I was hoping he would have some scrap of redemption in book 6. It’s really upsetting that so many people in this fandom look down on Vil or mischaracterize him but somehow don’t notice the glaring red flags in his dynamic with his vice dorm leader.

Honestly, when I think about it, the ending of Book 5 is actually kind of brilliant, even if it’s also emotionally sadistic and lacking in other aspects. I'm not sure if that was Yana’s intention, but the fact that so many in the fandom tend to see Rook as the kinder one compared to Vil is very telling.

Now I’m not saying that Vil is absolutely without flaws, Heaven knows he has many. As does every person in the twst cast. Vil is impulsive, domineering, harsh, difficult to please, overwhelming at times and extremely complex. But he is also helpful, perceptive, intelligent, genuinely kind and wants the best for those around him. Not for his own glory but for their own happiness and well-being. He is also clearly a deeply misunderstood and insecure young man, so I guess because of Vil’s faults, it’s “easier” to mischaracterize him.

As for me, I find Vil’s character all the more compelling in spite of his harshness because I can see in him a true understanding of beauty that is both profound and attainable by anyone. If we are brave enough to behold it.

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #long post #twst book 5 #twst book 6 #twst vil #vil schoenheit #pomefiore #shut up jas

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thisisthinprivilege · 2 years ago

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How can I overcome internalized fatphobia? How can I not hate what I look like when I'm fat?

This is going to be a different process for everyone, so I'm not sure what will work for you. I will let you know what worked for me, and hopefully you find it helpful.

Deprogramming Step One: Coming to grips with having been programmed in the first place. Beauty standards change from age to age, they are not inborn as far as our research is able to conclude. There's perhaps a weak preference for facial symmetry, but that's about it. Weight-based beauty standards have not only varied wildly through human history, they vary in our very own era, between-cultures. Often what we believe we find beautiful has been programmed into us from a very early age. There's no conspiracy, it's simply how cultural preferences are transmitted within-culture: through the adults we look up to, media, and reinforced by peers. That's not to say deprogramming is a simple matter. It's very difficult. I wonder now, almost 15 years after starting my own journey to deprogram myself, whether who I find beautiful or attractive is rooted in beauty standards I saw reflected as a kid or teen.

Deprogramming Step Two: Define and avoid thin-centric messaging. A big part of this for me was controlling the media I consumed. I unsubscribed to cable, for instance, because of the intrusive and omnipresent weight loss ads. That was 15 years ago, but it's surprising how similar some streaming services/channels are in terms of ad length and intrusiveness these days. Unfortunately, tiktoks/reels aren't entirely controllable. Even though I don't consume weight loss or diet content, weight loss/diet tiktoks/reels pop up occasionally. Besides ads, you should also consider whether your magazines, books, movies, and shows over-focus on the stories of thin people, or demonize fat people. Obviously, stop watching exploitative shows that turn the lives of fat people into sideshows or sob stories. More controversially, you might want to temporarily unsubscribe or mute fat activist content. Fat activism is a highly stressful space where we confront the hatred of fat people explicitly. It's not great for deprogramming thin-centric messaging, because fat activists will be talking about thin-centric messaging from a critical perspective. Take a break, for a while.

Deprogramming Step Three: Exposure to fat-positive content. This is the fun part of the process, where you get a chance to rewrite the aesthetic coding in your brain! I suggest searching out fat models who wear the kind of clothing you like, fat role models who share your interests, fat positive videos showcasing fat people doing amazing things, fat positive art, fat positive fiction and movies, and so on. Fatshion is full of fat positivity. Be wary of "body positive" content, as it can still be subtly or explicitly fatphobic. I warn you, after a few months of exposure to a different aesthetic, thin-centric media is gonna look hella strange. You'll go to see some romcom-flavor-of-the-month movie and be like, "Where are all the fat people? Why is everyone super skinny?"

Deprogramming Step Four: From theory to practice. This step is about starting to wear the clothes you want to wear, being loud and proud to exist as a fat person in public, being romantically bolder if romance is your thing, being more assertive and confident in your body, traveling to the places you've always wanted to go, doing things you were holding back doing before, etc. You may need to dwell in Step Three for a while, or revisit it over and again, in order to complete Step Four. This doesn't mean becoming an activist. This means becoming your authentic self without fat-related qualms. Yes, you will still be constrained by the greater world around you. Traveling, going out to eat, dating, interviewing for jobs, even going to a fucking concert will present constraints and bigotries that smaller people (everything else held equal) don't have to face. But you can now see them as constraints placed on you, not as constraints you place on yourself or that are in any way deserved. Hopefully, you will be able to face them without it destroying your sense of self-worth.

Deprogramming Step Five: The authentic self...? We know that as fat people we are not morally or otherwise inferior to thin(ner) people. So what does it mean to leave our best and most authentic lives, as fat people? This is the human question, that all humans share with each other equally. We are connected to each other, each on our own grand journey to answer this question. When you are able to separate the sociocultural difficulty of being a fat person in a fat-hating society from your own life journey, you have one less barrier to manage in answering the great human question. At this stage, you'll feel calm and comfortable in your body, and surprised when people point out your fatness or treat you differently for it. They're distracted by false moral categories, while you have better things to do. Does anyone ever permanently dwell in this stage? Probably not. But I feel like this most of the time, now. It takes a lot to drag me back into the world where one of the worst things you can call another human is "fatty." I've got books to read and write, math to learn, art to create. A life to live, where my possibilities are not defined by the size of my body.

-ArteToLife

#thin privilege #thin-centric society #deprogramming fat hatred #fat positivity #fat acceptance #fat activism #tips for overcoming fatphobia

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lost-secret-santa · 6 months ago

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Lost Secret Santa 2024 Sign-Ups

Hi! Since people seemed to really enjoy the Secret Santa exchange last year and I had a good time running it, I'm bringing it back this year! Here's the information on what the exchange will entail as well as the link to the form to sign up!

This will be a pretty basic fandom Secret Santa gift exchange. You will be assigned a giftee that you can anonymously get to know through asks and make them a gift to be echanged around Christmastime.

Gifts can be really any kind of fandom content you like to make. Some ideas of what that could be include (but are not limited to): fanfic, fanart, edits/gifsets, fan video, a playlist, meta/analysis of a certain character/ship/episode/scene etc., poetry, icons/profile pics/banners, or themes!

So basically the plan for Lost Secret Santa is you have until November 18th to sign up, and I will be anonymously assigning you a giftee on the weekend of November 23rd.

When you sign up there are spaces for you to list what characters or ships you want to receive a gift for, and what characters or ships you are okay making something for, as well as what kind of fandom content

You can list specific ships/characters or general things for either (for example: Kate Austen, Jack x Kate; or any m/m ship, any female character, any canon ship, any platonic relationship, etc.) please be specific and list any character or ship you really don't want to make something for so that I don't assign you a giftee that you won't enjoy making a gift for, however, try to give more than one answer, especially if it's a less major character or rarepair ship with a smaller fanbase.

I will share your preference for characters/ships and type of content you want to receive with only your gifter, and will not share which characters you will/won't create for with anyone.

Once you have been assigned your giftee you will have a month to send them messages on anon so that you can get to know them better and make a gift that they will like!

Gifts will ideally be posted on December 24th, 25th, or 26th, but can be posted any time up until December 31st.

Tag your gifts with #lostsecretsanta2024 so that I can reblog them

If you sign up but have to drop out at any time, I totally understand but please let me know as early as possible so that I can figure out something for your giftee so that everyone gets something.

Here's the link to the form you can use to sign up

Send me an ask if you have any questions at all about how it will work

(please boost this if you plan on participating or have a lost-centric blog so that more people can see it)

tagging everyone who expressed interest or participated last year (as always absolutely no pressure to take part again)

@obsessivedaydreamer

@eponine119

@rurza-burza

@kociepierogi

@draven-the-great-is-not-okay

@kateclaire

@johnmurphysgirl

@zeldazee

@loser-xx

@octolingo-writes

@ceridvven

@ivebeendressingforrevenge

@livinginsunnyhell

@echo-the-ghost

@myhillsdonthaveeyesbbg

@nowhereindiana

@lordhamstercheek

@dharmastation

@lockesmissingkidney

#lostsecretsanta2024 #abc lost #lost tv #secret santa #secret santa sign-ups

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tangents-within-tangents · 6 months ago

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Local Ace overthinks headcanon and shipping culture

Happy ace week, my friends! Imma be posting some aspec hc's this week so I felt the need to overexplain my personal stance on orientation headcanons and such

To start, as with any and all fandom things: to each their own. People can do whatever they want, and (for the most part) I can choose what I do or don't engage with. I know that hc and shipping and stuff is mostly for fun, or for seeking/creating representation, no hate to anyone who does it and enjoys it.

But also sometimes things can be problematic and I can still be bothered by those things. Even things that are 'just for fun' or 'not for you' can impact and reflect our views and behaviors, so it's still worth speaking about.

Aro/ace-spec identities are really diverse and complex, and we're really underrepresented as is. We have historically and chronically been plagued by problematic misconceptions and tropes, both in canon representation (or lack thereof) and fanon mindsets. Some of the main issues to be aware of with this topic specifically:

The majority of (sometimes unintentional) representation being non-human characters (like aliens and robots) implying that sex/romance = humanity and/or a fulfilling life. (Here's some video essays that touch on this: X X)

Related stereotype issues like racist or ableist de-sexualization and infantilization of certain groups like Asian men, physically disabled people, or people with autism. (It's an intersectionality thing bc yes those people can be aro/ace as well but it's still complicated) (more video essays! X X)

Common erasure of historically aspec characters in favor of allo plotlines bc that's "more interesting/realistic". Or ignoring canonically established aspec characters in favor of allo shipping (often excused by the fact that some aro/ace people do have sex/relationships, which is true but the complexities and nuances are often ignored and there's lots of double standards) (Here's some posts that touch on this: X X X)

Amatonormativity's over emphasis on sex/romance as a fundamental and necessary part of life, which is often reflected in how media and shipping culture are generally allo-centric, and it can just get pretty pervasive at times (note: we aren't a monolith obv, some aro/ace people enjoy it and participate too, but others don't and it is hard to avoid) X X

So while I know there's lots of reasons for shipping and headcanoning, and for the most part there's nothing wrong with it and people aren't trying to do these things, there are still issues that exist. Honestly seeing posts talking about these things has been really validating for me bc it let me know like yeah this is a problem other's have noticed too and I don't have to just accept it.

So with respect and awareness of nuance, ship and headcanon however you want. The rest of this post is about my own personal preferences and such. I'm not necessarily trying to persuade anyone here, I just have some thoughts I want to put into words:

For me personally, when it comes to characters' sexualities/gender identities/etc, I prefer just to stick to whatever is established in canon (or in confirmed intentional coding), and, if nothing is specified, headcanons that are based in canon evidence (more like theories I guess, as opposed to reimaginings or straight-up projection that knowingly ignores parts of canon. Which is fine and fun if that's what you like but to me there is a distinction). This is because:

1: While fandom culture is all about freedom and creativity, I do think it's important in this day and age to recognize actual canon representation and strive towards that because that is what will reach more people and have impact (and personally I think that writers' intentions should actually be given more thought/value)

2: I think that shipping/hc/fandom culture in general tends to perpetuate amatonormativity (specifically in devaluing/erasing friendship and non-romantic love), and sometimes leads to harmful parasocial queer speculation in real life (though again, I know that's not the intention but it's still a thing).

3: Generally, unless it’s explored as a part of a reimagined fic or something, just saying a random character is aspec (or whatever identity) when they did not present that way at all in the actual media doesn't really help me feel seen.

For example, I've seen a lot of people headcanon Mabel Pines as aromantic and that really threw me off bc in the show she is obsessed with romance. Like if other's see themselves in her that is great I won't stop you (the idea is that her crushes are comphet, which is not something I personally struggled with, and maybe I could see it if I rewatched the show with that in mind) but when I watched the show, I specifically did not connect with or relate to Mabel BECAUSE of my ace identity (yeah this post was mainly about her lol) so it just doesn't do much for me to claim her as aspec, in fact it feels counterproductive.

Sometimes it can feel really tacked on too, like 'well it's not confirmed that this character has sex so they could be ace', or 'some ace people do have sex so they can still be ace.' And like sure yes they could be but often it's like a kid show or something so none of the characters' sex lives are relevant or explicitly confirmed. Just bc they aren't not ace doesn't mean that they are, or that saying they are is meaningful if the character/story doesn't actually speak to anything related to the ace identity or experience. (This can happen with canon characters too, like Sponge Bob being asexual means absolutely nothing to me, especially since I get the sense that the creator said that more in a 'sea sponges reproduce asexually' type of way :/ )

So basically, in terms of representation I prefer the theory/interpretation type of headcanons that have supporting evidence of some kind, because that evidence is what makes me see myself in a character and feel represented in some way by them. So that's the type of headcanons I'll be posting, and that's why I'll be discussing evidence and explanations, even though I know plenty of people have fun and find value in just claiming identities without any of that.

Another thing I feel the need to overexplain is kinda the reverse of that. I think it's important to recognize that a character does not have to be a certain identity for you to see yourself in them. Like that sense of relatability and representation is still valid even if they aren't, and I think it's good to leave space for that ambiguity.

This is coming mostly from the fact that I have always valued platonic relationships (between any and all genders) long before I ever knew I was ace. I've always wished that was better normalized and represented in media and real life. I think that is just as important as queer representation, and sometimes they can counteract each other.

Like yes Min and Ryan could be gay and if that's what the writers were going for despite restrictions, or if people see themselves in that, great! But I would also love for this story to give a close friendship this much narrative value for once.

Merida does not HAVE to be aro/ace (or lesbian) to not want to be forced into marriage with a stranger at the age of 16 (in fact she specifically says "I'm not ready" and "not yet"). But regardless, aspects of her story are still really relatable to us and applicable to living in amatonormative society.

Mako and/or Raleigh do not NEED to be aspec for this glorious refreshing no-romo moment to happen (nor does one need to be aspec to appreciate it)

And maybe claiming them as aro/ace could even undercut the power of this platonic bond (like saying the only way they could not be interested in each other is if they are not interested in anyone (same if you said they are gay, as if that's the only possible way for a man and woman not to be attracted to each other)). But it's still a moment lots of us aspecs love because platonic relationships AND aro/ace characters do go hand in hand and BOTH are so rarely portrayed in media.

So these ideas also play into my preferences, and I want to acknowledge that my headcanons don't have to be definitive (which like I know that is normal amongst fandom culture anyway) but are more about pointing out aspects we can see ourselves in and relate to, especially in a media landscape that is so lacking in representation and understanding of our identities.

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