#Vanessa trauma icon

[triple-pupil]

GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE FNAF MOVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[themyscirah]

Could theoretically make a Vanessa wall in my dorm next year.....

[miawastaken]

Being Besties With Deadpool Headcannons

TW: language, drug use, alcohol use.

Reader's gender not mentioned.

【🎱　🪐　🎸】

🪐 Meeting Deadpool would be a happy accident.

🪐 Back when he was still hanging out at Sister Margret's you two met through Weasel (the bartender in Deadpool 1)

🪐 You two trauma-bonded and you both got extremely drunk and ended up slashing your ex's tires and somehow woke up in an abandoned parking lot the next morning.

🪐 When Wade and Vanessa met you offered to back up because you understood they want time with each other but to your surprise Vanessa was actually the one who asked you to stay.

🪐 Constant film references. CONSTANT.

🪐 When you met Blind Al she hated you at first but the night ended with cocaine so it's all good.

🪐 Ikea furniture building.

"Wade who the fuck likes the Småstad?!"

"WELL IT SURE AS FUCK IS BETTER THAN THINKING THE NOJIG LOOKS GOOD!"

🪐 Dance sessions to iconic songs.

🪐 Wade simping over Logan and vividly describing the events of The Honda Odessy.

🪐 You ship Wade with everyone. Vanessa? Duh. Logan? Without a doubt. Cable? Why the fuck not!

🪐 Dogpool is his child and he makes sure you know it.

【🎱　🪐　🎸】

Thanks for reading! feedback is more than welcome and is appreciated <33

[crazyk-imagine]

Take Care of You while you're Sleeping

Pairing: Michael Schmidt x Childhood friend!reader

Characters: Michael Schmidt, Childhood friend!reader, Abby Schmidt, Janet Schmidt, Steve Raglan (William Afton), Vanessa, Freddy, Chica, Foxy, Bonnie, Max, Doug the lawyer (not mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, slow burn, classic fnaf movie things, things get interesting, bits of the movie, Afton is a psycho, Mike and reader need to get their shit together, the lawyer isn't mentioned but he's an icon in my eyes, no one wants to deal with the aunt, Max is conflicted, and her death isn't mentioned, mentions of past traumas

Word Count: 8,860

*if you're not a good cook, pretend

This idea would not leave my mind for a long ass time guys.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wait in the hallway waiting till he finishes talking to his job counselor.

Since you were a kid and it- you've never been good at waiting for too long.

Part of you wants to text him and ask if he's almost done but you can’t do that and ruin his chance to keep Abby.

You bite the skin on the side of your thumb, foot bouncing as the clock ticking a few feet away goes in one ear and out the other. You drop your hand at the slight painful sensation that comes from where you were biting.

You glance down and see the small spot of red, rubbing the area to get rid of it. You close your eyes, bending forward with your head down and your hands on your knees to keep you upright.

The door opens.

Your head snaps over in his direction.

He looks even more worn out than before.

He briefly holds eye contact with you and gestures for the two of you to go.

You stand up before he passes you, you glance over his shoulder and find the counselor, standing there with a cup of coffee.

His stare sends a shiver down your spine.

You lower your head, spin around and follow Michael, who was waiting by the door for you.

-

You don’t want to upset him by asking but if you don’t, who knows when he'll tell you what happened.

Another red light and you’re still debating on asking.

"Was it helpful?"

"No."

"There's nothing out there?"

"No," he sighs. "There was- he had a job, but the hours aren't good. It's a night job."

"Oh."

He sighs, "yeah."

"Maybe I can see if we have an opening?" You offer.

He shakes his head. "No. It's- it's fine. I’ll figure out something."

"Mike-"

"I don't want to start this again."

"I just want to help you. I know how much it means for you to have this job."

"I'll figure it out."

You reach over and squeeze his hand, offering a small smile. "I know you’ll figure it out. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone. It's not all on you." You open the car door. "Thanks for the ride again."

He watches as you walk into your work, always making sure you're exactly where you should be.

-

You walk through the door with dinner. "Hey." You greet Max, giving her a small portion of what Michael owes her.

She shakes her head, denying the money.

"You've been helping him out for so long now, please take it. He doesn't need to keep worrying about this," you whispered to her.

She glances down at the thin wad of cash in your hands; she closes her eyes, thinking about the Schmidt’s aunt and their deal. “Thank you,” Max whispers.

She’s going to pay you back and then some.

“I brought dinner.”

“We were just about to eat,” he tells you, standing in the kitchen.

“Not anything edible,” Abby mutters.

Her brother sighs.

You smile at her while setting the bags on the counter. “Scoot, I got it.”

“I’m gonna have to learn how to cook at some point.”

“Not tonight, I’m excited. Scoot.” You push him out of your way, amusing the young girl at the table.

She continues working on her recent drawing, one with you in it, of course.

-

“I think I’m going to take it.”

You turn away from the TV to look at him. “Take what?”

"The job."

"The night one? I thought didn't want that one?" He shrugs, glancing at the wall. "It's better than nothing. I'll still be able to fight my aunt with this job."

"I understand why you're doing this but are you sure you can handle it?"

He glances at you with furrowed brows. "What do you mean?"

You tilt your head, staring at him with sad eyes.

"I worry about you enough with your shitty sleep schedule now. This is just going to send me into old age."

"Who says you aren't already?"

You scoff, shoving his shoulder. "Don't be a dick." You cover your mouth, hiding your yawn. "I'm gonna clean the dishes and then crash on your couch."

He pushes himself off the couch, following you. "I can do that. You should start getting ready for bed."

You take the other dishes from him. "Mike, stop. Go to bed. I've got this and you," you boop his nose causing him to scrunch his face in confusion. "Need to go to bed. Start preparing for work. This is the least I can do for the number of times you've let me stay here… and the car rides."

"You know I don't mind doing it."

You sigh, placing your hands on his shoulders. "I know but this is the only way I can show how much I appreciate it." You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Stop stalling and go to bed."

"Yes, ma'am."

You shake your head. "I'll see you in the morning. Why don't you sleep in, and I'll take Abbs?"

"I don't know."

"We got this. If you're not up. I'm taking her."

"Okay."

-

He's out cold when you open the door to check on him.

You shake your head, walking down the short hallway. "He's out. Looks like I'll be taking you, sweet pea."

"Are you and my brother dating?"

"Has my answer changed since the last time you asked me?" You ask, setting her plate in front of her.

She shakes her head, "no."

"And what do you think now?"

"Yes?"

"Abby-"

She groans. "Come on, you two are like perfect for each other. He really likes you; you know."

"I would like to think so, otherwise our friendship is a lie."

"No," she shakes her head. "He really likes you."

"Where'd you hear that?" "

I asked him."

"You did?" You raise a brow.

"No, but I know these things."

"You've never had a boyfriend; how would you know?"

"My friends."

-

You went to work and came back just in time for the brother and sister duo to walk through the door, keeping you on the phone.

"What happened?"

They both shrug, neither wanting to give you an answer.

"Max isn't answering," he says through the phone.

"Did you try her again?"

"I've been trying all day."

You sigh. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm a little stressed right now."

"Do you want me to watch her?"

"No, it's fine."

"Mike, I can watch her. It's no problem."

“No, no. I- what if you come with us? You can watch her there.”

“Wouldn’t it be smarter if I watched her at your place?”

“I- I don’t want you two to be alone.”

You sigh, “Mike, nothing will happen. You know I’ll do whatever I can for her.”

“I know but maybe it’ll be better if you two get out of the house in- instead of being all cooped up, right?”

You know you’re not going to win with him. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there in a few.”

He shakes his head, although you can’t see it. “No, we can come get you. Your house is on the way.”

It is, in fact, not on the way there but he doesn’t want you walking in the cold. “Okay, call me when you’re about to leave.”

“We’ll be there soon.”

“Okay. Bye, Mikey.” You groan as soon as the call ends. “Mikey. Seriously?"

Abby notices her brothers’ flushed cheeks. "Did you finally ask her out?"

He turns to her with furrowed brows. "Wh- what? No. Why would you ask that?"

She shrugs and searches through the drawers, needing something for her drawings.

He walks down the hallway and enters his room, searching for his work clothes.

-

You walk through the door (even after he told you not to walk to their house) and see the previously jammed drawer fall onto the floor.

You slam the door shut and rush to her. "Oh my god." You grab her by her shoulders, checking her over. "Are you okay?"

She nods before trying to clean up.

You help her until your eyes stop on the yellow paper.

Michael rushes out of his room. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I made a mess," she mumbles. "I'm sorry."

You stare at him with raised brows, waiting for him to explain himself to her (and you).

He's been working too hard to give her up to someone you know doesn't care about her or her well-being.

He tries his best to explain to her that it's not what she thinks.

Abby gets upset and runs to her room.

You clean up the mess and jam the drawer back into its place. "Are you serious, Mike?"

"What?"

"You've worked so hard to keep her in your life and you have the other, terrible option might I add, within reach for her to find!?"

"It's not like that."

"Then tell me because sometimes I don't know what's going on in your head no matter how hard I try to figure it out." You take a deep breath. "Just- tell me you're not really thinking about this?"

"I- I'm not. It's just- my aunt is really pushing this and-"

"If she's giving you guys problems. Tell me, I might be able to figure out something to help, okay?"

"Okay," he rushes out, sounding annoyed.

"I'm sorry for this, Mike. I am but believe me when I say that this is not the way to do things."

"Did you-"

"I'm gonna go check on her. You need to figure things out." You brush past him, shoulder knocking into his chest.

You softly knock on the door. "Abbs?" You turn the handle and walk in. "Are you okay?"

She sits in her chair unable to color.

"Sweetie, you can tell me." You sit on her bed. "You know, when I was a younger, my parents did the same thing, but they didn't get far."

"They did?"

You nod.

"Why?"

"Something happened when I was a kid and I just," you wipe your hands on your knees. "I don't like to talk about it often. How about we go make cupcakes before we go to work with your brother?"

"We're going with him?" She asks as you open the door.

You nod. "Yeah, he doesn't want you to be here alone and since I'm the only one nice enough to talk to him, he doesn't want us to be alone while he's out."

"That makes sense."

"Does it? I think he just likes to be in control just a little too much."

She giggles and grabs your hand, pulling you down the short hallway.

You narrow your eyes at him as he sits at the table, slumped in the chair.

You know your look made him feel worse, but you don't care, putting that someplace where she could find it so, she can up with the worse scenarios is a horrible thing for a child to go through… other than- Abby calls out for you.

You blink once and hum. "Any requests?"

Neither of the Schmidt siblings answers you as they glance at one another, curious as to what just happened.

Dinner was more silent than normal, but it wasn't completely unbearable.

It was kind of, therapeutic. Then it was time to go.

“Alright, grab your stuff. We won’t be there long and we’ll be back soon.”

-

A child’s whisper calling out for Abby alerts you, even more so when two children’s voices call out yours.

You’re scared to open your eyes, reminding you of the one time you asked your parents to check your room for monsters when you heard something coming from your closet. You pull the blanket closer, having it act as a barrier.

You take a deep breath and focus on the light coming from Abby’s fort, thinking back to when- she softly shakes your arm, whispering your name. “Yeah, Abbs?”

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

You nod, tossing the blanket off you, holding your hand out for her to take. “Let’s go.”

-

You walk through the vaguely familiar hallways and stop at the bathroom.

“Do you want me to come in with you?”

She shakes her head, “I’ll be fine.”

You nod and watch as she goes in, keeping an eye on her until the door closes.

You turn and nearly jump out of your skin when you see the stage curtain moving.

Your eyes wander around the stage while you silently think a little hail Mary… and for Abby to hurry.

“All done.”

“Great, let’s go back before your brother realizes you’re gone.”

“But there’s someone else here.” She walks towards the stage and you chase after her.

“Abby, you need to stop running-”

Your jaw drops and you can’t speak anymore once you see the glowing red eyes staring back at you.

They walk down and huddle around the two of you.

You wrap your around her, pulling the girl closer to you not knowing how to protect her or get her out of this situation safely.

“I don’t think they want to hurt us.”

“And how would you know that?”

“They’re my friends.” She pushes your arms off her and greets them, they start tickling her, easing a small portion of your fears and concerns.

Then the fox and chick animatronic start tickling you and you two are giggling your heads off.

This was definitely not what he was expecting when he heard you two screaming from the security office.

All he sees are the large animatronics which trigger his fight or flight mode. He raises the chair higher at the sight of Freddy, who glares at him in return.

“Guys, this is my brother Mike.” Abby smiles, introducing everyone to each other. “Mike, these are my friends.”

His eyes wander around the room, checking over everyone to make sure everything is okay before he starts searching for you.

He slowly calms down at the sight of your head when you turn around. All he sees is the big smile on your guys faces and slowly, places the chair back where he found it.

He doesn’t know what else to do and grabs the two of you before anything else can happen.

The little girl breaks free and places a drawing in the bear's hand.

“They like drawings,” she explains to her brother.

“Bye guys. We’ll be back soon.” She waves and the two who seem to have taken a liking to you, wave more excitedly to you.

-

You wave back before her brother grabs your hand and pulls you two back to the security office to grab all your stuff.

"Abby, get in the car."

She settles into the back but not you, he pulls you back to talk to you.

"What was that?"

After making sure she was all settled in, you turn to him. "What do you mean?"

"You just let her get too close to those- those things. What if she had gotten hurt?"

"Don't do that to me. You're the one that wouldn't let me watch her at home, Mike. You brought us here."

He wants to apologize because he knows he's upset and taking it out on you which isn’t fair.

You get in the car, careful not to slam the door (no matter how hard you want to) because you don’t want to disturb the sleepy girl.

He walks back to the car with his head down, knowing he royally screwed up.

You don't try and talk to him like you normally do and keep your gaze on everything around you.

-

As soon as the car is put in park, you get out and grab all the bags.

He sighs, watching you basically run into the house and checks on Abby.

You get started on making breakfast because you're hungry and know the other two will be as soon as they smell it.

The moment the last plate touched the table, the Schmidt siblings are out of their rooms and sneaking towards the kitchen.

You gesture for them to sit down so they can get started.

The clinking of your utensils hitting the plates is the only noise echoing throughout the kitchen. Abby finishes and runs back to her room to draw more.

You start cleaning up, leaving the man in silence.

"I'm sorry."

You don't acknowledge his apology and continue cleaning up.

"I know what I said was wrong and I shouldn't have taken it out on you, but you know, she could have gotten hurt."

You glance at him over your shoulder and nod. "I know that, and I wouldn't have let anything happen to her. You know that and that's why I'm hurt."

The chair scooting across the floor alerts you.

His presence calms you even with how angry you are. He leans closer, "I know but I was- I was scared I was going to lose-"

"Abby like you did, Garrett, I know," you whisper, letting the tears trickle down your face.

"It's not just that. I mean, yeah it was mainly that, but I was also scared I was going to lose you too."

You wipe your cheeks.

His hand inches towards you.

You spin around and throw yourself into his arms, he takes a step back before balancing himself. "You're an idiot," you mumble.

The vibrations coming from his chest as he chuckles send a shiver down your spine and you pull yourself away from him.

He stays where he is, barely a foot away from you, studying you. He reaches forward, wiping your cheeks. "Better?"

You roll your eyes and return to the dishes.

He wraps an arm around your waist, leaning against you. "I'm gonna go check on Abby before I go to my room."

You nod.

"Do you need a ride to work?"

"No, it's fine. I don't have another shift for a few days."

"Okay, let me know if you do."

"I will."

He hesitates to leave or hesitates to peck your cheek.

You stand still, not entirely sure what just happened. 'Did he just-' you think to yourself. Now you're starting to question some things but don't dwell on it.

-

You sit down, relaxing on the couch, waiting for your tiredness to hit.

Your head droops every so often, waking you up each time it happens; eventually you change positions and try to go to sleep.

You open your eyes and find yourself… back there. You look around, searching for someone, anyone to help you.

Children giggling, the video games near you buzzing and beeping; you spin around when a breeze passes you. “Hey.”

The kid in orange stops looking over his shoulder.

Flashes of him and the fox animatronic flash through your mind.

You whine, falling to the ground as you hold your head.

“Are you okay?” A child’s voice manages to come through all the noise.

Your hands slide down your face as you lift your head to search where the voice is coming from. Your eyes widen, you know her. “Who-”

“Why are you sad?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“Did you not have fun?” You blink once, processing her question.

“What?”

She pouts. “Did you not have fun earlier?”

You push yourself off the ground. “What do you mean? I- I’ve never- I-” She starts walking away.

“I have to go now. The yellow rabbit’s back.”

You follow her, fighting to get through the crowd.

You reach for her, just a few inches shy of grabbing her. You push yourself back, ready to apologize for the person you bumped into.

They turn around, smiling.

“There you are, I thought you were going to the restroom?”

Your jaw drops. “Mom?”

“Come on,” she grabs your wrist. “We’re about to miss them cutting the cake.”

“Wha-”

“You and Susie were so excited for Fritz’s party. I’m surprised you forgot about the cake.”

You furrow your brows, unsure of anything that’s happening. “We missed you.”

You wake up, eyes blurred after not being open for a bit. Abby sits in front of the couch, drawing yet again. “Abbs?”

“Yeah?”

-

“Was last night real?”

She nods.

“Are you sure?”

Even though she confirmed your thoughts, it still doesn’t feel real.

Her brother wakes up to find the two of you quietly drawing and smiles at the sight, seeing you two together always made his heartbeat faster… or maybe it was you?

He tilts his head, furrowing his brows thinking back to when he quickly pecked your cheek. He hopes neither of you look over, otherwise you’ll see his flushed cheeks and he doesn’t want to have to lie about the real reason.

Maybe that’s why he was terrified for both you and Abby last night.

He wonders how long he’s been feeling this way, was it before Garrett?

Is that why he’d always invite you over and not just because you always found ways to include his brother?

Maybe when he's done with his shift and he’s saved up a little bit more he can take you out on a date, a proper one.

He shakes his head; he's getting too ahead of himself.

Why would you ever want to date him? He's not worthy of dating, you.

"Are going to come with us tonight?"

You slowly turn your head in her direction, "what do you mean?"

"Max still isn't answering so I'm going with Mike. Can you come with us? My friends really like you."

"The- they do?"

She nods, "they say you're nice and remind them of someone they used to know."

"Oh." You sit up straighter, looking over her head to catch her brother's eye.

He tilts his head, not knowing what she told you.

You push yourself off the ground and briskly walk towards him, pulling him closer towards the fridge so, the little girl doesn't see you whisper shout at her brother. "What are you doing?"

He doesn't pull his arm out of your grasp.

Is this what it means to be touch starved?

"What do you mean?"

"You're taking her again? What happened to you being pissed because I let her get too close to them?"

A sad sigh escaped through his nose. "Her friends might know who took Garrett."

You owlishly blink, wondering how your friend can be so caring but such a dumbass. You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Seriously?"

"What? You know I always try to think back to see if I can remember anything but I- it's never enough."

Your head snaps up. "Mike, listen to me, please. Don't get upset when I tell you this."

"What?"

"You need to stop. Focusing on the past it’s not good for you or," you gesture to the little girl in the living room. "Her, she is your present, okay. She should be your priority because she is still here," your voice cracks. You're doing all you can to hold back your tears. "You need to let him go."

He takes a step back, staring at you with an angered expression.

You know it wasn't your place to tell him this but no one else is. "I'll go after tonight. Let me spend one more night with her and I'll be out of your guy's hair when we get back, okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know if I should after hearing that."

You sigh, "Mike." You don’t want to beg, it'd be pointless but if you can cause a little less heartbreak, maybe it'd be worth it. "I know right now you probably hate me, but you also know that I wouldn't say anything without a reason."

You walk back into the living room when she shows a drawing of you and two other kids. "Abby?" Your voice wavers, "where did you find this?"

"I drew it. Do you not like it?"

You furrow your brows and stare at the page. "You didn’t take this?"

She scoffs, "no."

"I- I'm sorry, Abbs. I believe you-"

She shakes her head and grabs her belongings before stomping to her room.

"What's wrong with the picture?" Michael asks.

You bury your head in your hands. "Nothing."

"Well, clearly, it's not nothing."

You lift your head, using the sleeves of your crewneck to wipe your cheeks. "Do you remember when I wasn't in school for a while?"

His brows knit together as he tries to think back.

"It was a little bit before Garrett was taken," you whisper. "I- um- I think I used to go to Freddy's after school with a couple of our neighbors, but I don't remember anything after that."

“What are you trying to say?”

“Something happened when I was a kid, and I haven’t been able to get over it. That’s why I’m so freaked out. I remember drawing this but anything else after that is lost on me.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I barely remember and now I’m freaking out.”

He sits beside you pulling you in for a hug.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“Don’t- don't apologize about it.” Now he feels horrible.

Abby listened to your conversation from the crack she left open in the door and knows they gotta do something to make you happy.

-

“Are you sure you want to come with us? I mean, you don’t have to,” he tells you.

You grab your bag and nod, “I got this. It’ll be fine.” You look out the door, seeing the girl in the back of his car. "And, then I'll be out of your hair."

"Don't- don't worry about it. I forgot what you said."

"Mike."

"Let's go. I don't want either of you to be alone."

-

You exited the bathroom and found Vanessa talking to Michael.

You don't know whether to walk over to them or join Abby.

The choice is made for you when the little girl and the animatronics gesture for you to come over.

You glance over at the two, your chest hurts temporarily as you think there might be something going on between the two but realize that you're not here to watch them moon over each other, you're here for Abby.

You wander closer towards them, hopping on the stage with the gang.

They start singing and you hold your hand out for Abby to take, spinning her around and she gets a brilliant idea.

-

The fort was finished and you all crawl underneath. "I think it's going to rain soon."

"Looks like we're gonna need a roof. I know where they keep the blankets when we had parties."

Michael pushes himself off the ground, "I'll come with you." He turns around to whisper to Abby, who assures him that she'll get the info he wants.

He perks over at you, wondering if he should really follow her or not. He has to talk to her and knows you'll look after his sister.

You close your eyes to try and get your mind off wondering if he and Vanessa are going to get together. You can hear their voices, but they slowly become quieter and quieter as time goes on.

-

You wake and find yourself in the ball pit. This is not where you-

"Hello?" You whisper.

It's not the smartest thing to do but you did it anyway.

You crawl out of the pit only to find no one else around.

"Great, they left me and now I'm here alone." You sigh and wander around, hoping to find someone.

Children's laughter passes by you.

You spin around, searching for the kids and find no one. "Just find a way out and you'll be fine."

The tapping on your back alarms you.

You spin around once more to find a child with a hook and red hair. You furrow your brows. "Are you here alone?"

He shakes his head, another child, a blonde little girl comes out of nowhere.

"Are you- are you two-" You cover one eye and make a hook with the other.

They nod.

"Oh, so you're- you're kids."

"We're your friends."

"What?"

-

You open your eyes and find Abby staring down at you.

"They're going to perform for us."

"They are?" She nods excitedly and continues to pull you up, off the ground.

Michael and Vanessa returned but neither of you noticed.

She notices the look he has whenever he’s near you or talks to you. “When are you going to tell her?”

He turns back to the blonde. “What are you talking about?”

“You're in love with her.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You're in love and you haven't told her, why?”

He opens his mouth to reply but falls short.

“What are you scared of?”

“I- nothing.”

She turns to check on you two, her teasing expression falls.

You heard her voice and glanced back at the girl, who's close to touching Bonnie's guitar. You were already holding her other hand and reached out to stop her but are too late.

The two of you fall backwards onto the stage, passing out for a few moments.

Abby is the first to wake, asking what happened.

Vanessa holds her, calming her, glaring at the girl's brother.

You slowly open your eyes, and his face is the first one you see. Your brows knit together, trying to figure out what happened.

“Hey, hey,” he calls out to you, holding your head. “Are you okay?”

You groan, closing your eyes trying to not think of the pain. “No.”

He huffs, lowering his head, thankful that you haven't lost your sense of sarcasm. 'Thank god,' he thinks to himself.

He doesn't know what he would have done if anything had happened to you, either of you. He can't lose anyone else in his life.

The three of you leave earlier that night, much like when you all discovered the animatronics secrets.

-

You sit in the car, staring at the house. “You can’t let her go back there, Mike.”

He looks away from her and checks you out, silently hoping nothing has happened to you physically. “I know. She won’t.”

“Take care of her, okay.” You open the door, and he grabs your arm, keeping you inside the vehicle.

“Don’t.”

You hesitantly settle back into the seat. “I told you all I wanted was one last night.”

“You’re not leaving. I- we can’t lose you. I don’t know what I’d do if we never saw you again.”

“Even after everything I said?”

He pauses before responding, “I’m not focusing on that.”

“That was the reason you were so upset,” you hissed at him, being wary of your volume with the sleeping girl in the back. “I don’t want to step on any more toes, okay?”

“You’re not… as long as you promise not to leave.”

The corners of your lips twitch. “I won’t but I do have to go home and get ready for work.”

He shakes his head, “you don’t need to. I have some of your things. You can get ready here.”

“I am perfectly capable of being on my own.”

“I know you are but I’m more concerned about you especially with everything that happened.”

“I'm fine but if it means so much to you for me to be here then I'll stay but once I'm done with my shift, I'm going home, okay? I need to grab a few things and maybe do some laundry while I'm at it.” You chuckle, wanting to give him a piece of mind.

He nods, “deal.”

You get out of the car, grabbing everyone's bags so he could put Abby to bed, giving you a sense of deja vu.

Once he's got her tucked into bed, he ventures down the hallway, checking in you… again. “Showers free, if you want it.”

You look up from the dining chair, giving him a tired smile in return. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I just got to make a phone call and then I'll head to my room.”

You nod, rubbing your eyes. “Okay.”

His heart tugs at an unusual feeling, one he never thought he'd get the privilege of having.

He doesn't stop watching until the bathroom door closes and now, he hesitates to make the call.

He doesn't want to prove her right but this just- it can't happen again. And it won't, if his aunt takes care of Abby. He can't imagine the face you're going to give him when you see her.

The water turns on and he waits for a bit until he knows it's safe to make the call.

You exit the bathroom, securing the t-shirt on your head.

“Hey,” his eyes are drawn to your head. “Is that my shirt?”

You shrug, “I don't know, maybe.”

“Okay, anyway. Don't get mad.”

Your head jerks back. “Why would I get mad?”

“I called her.”

“Call who?”

“My aunt.”

You’re face turns sour as soon as your mind processed what he said. “You're getting my foot so far up your ass, you won't know which end was what.”

“Hey, hey,” he grabs your arms. “It's for her safety.”

“That doesn’t make this easier.”

“I know it doesn't but it's the smart choice… right?”

You're at a stalemate, no matter what answer you give him, it's not going to give him the peace of mind he's looking for. “Do you think it was a smart idea?” You finally ask.

“It's better for Abby.”

“And what about you?”

“Abby is more important.”

“You both deserve to be happy.” You check on the clock, “it's almost time for me to go so I'm going to finish getting ready and I'll be out of your hair for the day. I won't be able to babysit her tonight.”

He nods, “I kinda figured which is also why I called our aunt.”

“If you two can talk and figure out a good solution that won't make her feel like she's being taken and sent to your guy's aunt, I'm right behind you.”

He nods, “thank you.”

You walk out of the bathroom searching for Michael before grabbing your bag. “Mike?”

He's not in the kitchen so you move over to the living room and then his room.

You peek in the crack of his door, finding him lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

You enter, closing the door behind you, not wanting to wake up Abby. “I'm gonna go now.”

He nods lazily.

“Are you gonna be, okay?”

“Yeah,” his voice comes out deep, you know he's on the verge of passing out.

“Okay, I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? I thought you were coming back tonight?”

“My shift ends just as you're halfway to Freddy's. I don't want to come in and scare Abby.”

“Okay, call me when you get there?”

“I'll do you one better.” You sit on the edge of his bed, hand near his. “I'll text you on the phone you like to forget you have.”

“I don't forget I have it.”

“You do.”

“Whatever,” he chuckles. “I'll see you later.”

You exit his room, leaving it open a little (in case Abby needs him he told you once).

“Wait.”

You try to ask him if you forgot anything when his warm hand cups your cheek. “Mikey?”

He leans in, your noses are touching. “Tell me if this is a bad idea and I'll back away,” he whispers, staring into your eyes.

“It's not.”

His eyes drift down to yours.

You can't take it anymore and go for it.

His surprised squeak makes you smile. He leans in when you pull away.

“I've really got to go.”

“I know.”

“You need to let me go so I can go to work.”

He opens his eyes and stares at the ground. “Sorry.”

“Don't be. I didn't back away.”

“I- uh-”

“What is it?”

“I like it when you,” he clears his throat. “I like it when you call me Mikey. No one else does.”

The corner of your lips twitch, curving upwards. “Good to know.” You bunch the front of his shirt in your hand and kiss him once more before leaving.

You shake your head, smiling from ear to ear while ignoring the heat from your cheeks.

Work wasn’t anything more than what you expected which was nice, better with what you’d been dealing with the last few days.

-

You collapse into the chair you have in your living room, trying not to fall asleep only to wind up taking a nap.

The sound of knocking alarms you, you jolt awake trying to make sense of your surroundings.

You open the door, only to find the one person you least expected to find here. "Mr. Raglan?"

He lifts his head and smiles. "Hi, you’re Michael's friend, right?"

You nod, "I am. What's this about?"

"Can I come in?"

Your mind tells you not to let him in, you get an unsettling feeling from him. "Actually, I need to get ready for work so, if you could just-"

His hand clamps around the door as you try to close it on him. "Actually," he slams the door shut behind him. "That's not going to happen. You see, I was trying to be nice and let you come with me but then you started thinking again, just like you did when you were a kid. And now, now I'm going to kill you."

Your eyes widen, heart beating about a hundred miles an hour.

"But not yet, of course because we," he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer before you can run away. "Have a show to put on." His eyes are emotionless the more you look into them. "Nighty night."

-

You fight to open your eyes; the loud mechanical stomping hurts your ears; you whine covering them.

You're pulled away and fight the hands holding you.

She shushes you, “shut up. Shut up.” Vanessa rips your hands away from your ears, holding your head to make you focus on her. “You need to get Abby and Mike and get them out of here. Do you understand?”

“I can’t- I can’t-” You start hyperventilating.

She shakes your shoulders, trying to get you out of it. “You need to get them out of here.”

You nod. “Where are they?” You sniff, wiping your cheeks.

“Mike went to grab Abby; they should be getting back here now.”

She pulls you up, the two of you stay close to the walls as you search for them.

Abby runs out, you grab her before she could expose herself to the animatronics.

You glance back, looking for the blonde and find no one around. “Where’s your brother?”

“Back there. He fought the cupcake.”

The loud stomping sends a shiver down your spine.

“Abbs, we need to hide.”

“Where?”

You turn your head, looking around. “Ball pit.” You grab her and carry her. “Stay here.”

Her fingernails dig into your hand. “Where are you going?”

“Stay here. I’m- I’m going to be right here. If they catch me, you run.”

She shakes her head, “I can’t.”

“Abby,” you hold her head in your hands. “I need you to be strong for me.”

She stares at you with teary eyes. “Okay.”

“Good girl,” you peck her head and hide.

Foxy's footsteps alarm you.

You frantically search for something to throw that can distract him. You slowly sink down, praying your knees don't crack as you do.

You grab the lonely ball pit ball left on the ground and grip it as tightly as you can before standing up, hoping to be able to throw the ball a few feet away, just enough to get Abby out of here.

You throw the ball, knocking into a few games, setting them off.

The fox wanders in that direction and you grab the girl and start running, pushing her in front of you.

“Ru-” You glance back and find the blonde. “Vanessa.”

“Come on.” Abby legs go of you and run towards her brother.

You stop less than two feet away from him, staring at the yellow rabbit. You whimper, remembering what happened.

“What's the matter? You remember what happened,” he chuckles.

“You- you took them.”

“So, what if I did?”

“You took little kids, and you murdered them and you tried to do the same thing to me!”

Vanessa's body falls to the ground.

“Let's not get upset now.”

He chuckles, “I wouldn't want any of us to do something we'll regret.” He smiles at your humorless expression. “It's funny because I don't regret any of it. I do wish that I finished with you. It would have been the perfect ending, don't you think?”

You duck, rolling onto the floor before he could stab you but then he gets a hold of your ankle and pulls you back, closer towards him.

His emotionless eyes lit up somehow and his grip shifted from your ankle to your neck. He drags you over towards one of the machines, prepared to stab you, making an almost complete set (if only he'd have gotten Michael when he had the chance).

You wiggle in his grasp, trying to kick and shove him off you. “Stop squirming, that's why we've had this prolonged… meeting.”

Abby’s picture replaces the previous one.

His eyes widen, grip loosening giving you an opportunity to escape. “What have you done?”

You watch as the animatronics pull away the dying man before running over towards the two Schmidt siblings, helping the other one carry Vanessa out of the building.

You look around the car for anything to keep on the wound while you apply pressure. “Is there anything,” you ask through the screen.

The two shake their heads, “no.”

You sigh and use all your might to rip the bottom of your shirt. You let out a breath once you get some fabric and quickly start applying pressure, using the fabric as dressing. “What are we going to tell people?”

“Mugging gone wrong.”

“Seriously?” You glance through the screen and catch his gaze in the rearview mirror.

“Who would believe us if we told the truth?”

“Okay, well I’m sorry for asking.”

“Can you guys not fight right now?”

You avoid his gaze. “We’re not fighting, we’re strongly disagreeing with each other.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No.”

-

“We’re here.”

“Okay, I’m going to need help getting her out.”

He nods, you notice the way he inches out of the car and know this is too much for him.

You mouth to Abby to open the door, you pull the unconscious woman out by her feet, before grabbing her arm.

A nurse behind you tells you to move.

You look around and find Abby hugging Mike’s side as they stand a few feet away from the ER entrance. “Okay. Uh,” you point to the siblings. “My fiancé has bad injuries, no stab wounds but he scratched really bad, it’s deep and I’m afraid he might need stitches,” you explain, trying not to break down right then and there.

The nurse nods, “got it. Bring him in and fill out some paperwork and we’ll check on him.”

“Okay.” You watch as they take her away, hoping you guys got her to the hospital in time. “Let’s get you inside,” you tell him.

“I’m fine.”

You raise your brows, blinking at him in disbelief. “We both know you are not, you have sustainable injuries to, who knows what extent, you are going in here and getting checked out even if I have to force you.”

He nods, “maybe getting the dressing changed won’t hurt.”

“That’s what I thought.” You wrap an arm around his waist, in case he doesn’t have enough energy to continue.

Once you get him situated, fill out the paperwork and he’s taken back; you and the little girl are left alone.

You kneel in front of her, “are you okay?”

She nods. “Abbs, I need you to tell me if you have any injuries.”

She shakes her head, trying to stay strong.

You hold your hand out for her to take and switch seats, somewhere more comfortable for the two of you. “Lay down.”

She does as you told her and rests her head on your thigh.

You place your hand on her arm, thumb brushing back and forth in a comforting manner.

“Are you and Mike together yet?”

You chuckle, glancing down at her. “Depends on if your brother will ask me out.”

“If he doesn’t, you should. He takes forever.”

“Well, aren’t you kind.” You sigh, the pain from tonight’s adventure hits you. “Close your eyes and try to sleep when the doctor tells us we can see him, I’ll wake you up.”

“You promise?”

“You’re not getting out of my sight for a while, sweetie.”

She smiles and closes her eyes.

You rest your head on your hand, watching the terrible soap opera playing on the tv in the upper corner of the room.

He walks out, searching for you two and his heart beats faster. He shakes his head seeing that you were ready to shift Abby to check on him. “I’m not staying here.”

You sigh his name.

“I know, I know.”

“Do you want to go now?”

He nods.

“I don’t think we can take the cop car now.”

He chuckles and winces.

You offer a weak smile as an apology. “Sorry?”

“I can carry her.”

“No. I got it. You’re the wounded hero here.”

“What about your aunt?”

“What do you mean?”

“You really think that she let Abby leave on her own? What if- what if she’s…”

He catches on to what you’re implying. “Maybe we should stay at yours.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s closer and I know you have some things for us to use.”

“Okay.” You lift the little girl into your arms. “Let’s go.”

-

You make it back to your place and Abby rubs her eyes. "Where are we?"

"We're at my place."

"Abby, you should take a shower before going to bed," her brother says.

"Okay."

"She didn’t argue with me."

"She almost lost you." You pat his should and move around your place, cleaning up a little more.

He watches for a second before placing a hand on your shoulder. "Hey." He tells you to stop and sit down.

"I- I can't. I need to- I need-"

He gets you to sit down on the couch before you could collapse where you stood. He sits down beside you and holds your hand, which are resting on your knees. "What happened back there?"

"He killed my friends."

"You knew them?"

You nod, wiping your cheeks to get them dry but fail as more tears fall. "After they closed Freddy's, my parent's let me stay with a few other kids after school to do homework or do kid things, you know." "Yeah."

"But then, one day we were all at the park and we were playing hide and seek. I heard something and I knew it wasn't safe, my mind was telling me to get out there and I did but the next day one of the kids we were with was taken instead. They never found him."

"Do you think it was one of them?"

You shrug, "I don't know."

"Did anything else happen?"

You shake your head, letting the tears freely trickle down your face. "Hang on." You reach over to the coffee table and grab the non-labeled book, handing it to him. "My therapist said I should write down anything and I wrote what happened. I didn't want to forget it… not that I could."

He lifts your journal, "you want me to read it?"

You nod.

"Are you sure? I mean, I feel like I'm going to be invading your privacy."

"I," you take a deep breath. "Honestly, I don't know if I should be sharing this with you but if there's anyone that I want to know about what happened, it's you."

"And you're sure you're okay with this?"

"As okay as anyone can be."

He doesn't know how to respond to that.

You tell him to get his sister and clean up for dinner.

The two turn the corner and are amazed.

"It's so much spaghetti," she squeals.

"I figured we could have a happy meal tonight. This morning. What time is it?"

They shrug and sit down, ready to dig in as their stomachs growl.

The corners of your lips twitch.

"Careful now," you grab the girl's hands, pulling them back before she could slide her arm back and have the knife fall in her lap. "How about I get your plate ready?"

"Hurry up."

You laugh and scoff at her behavior. "Watch it, little girl."

She giggles.

Once you're done, she grabs your plates and sets them in the sink before walking away.

"Woah! Woah! Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving you two alone. Kids aren't allowed on dates." She closes the door to your bedroom.

Your jaw drops. "Where did she get that idea?" You ask him.

“I- I don’t know.”

“Is she right though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is this a date? I mean, are we dating now?”

He's not sure if saying that you guys are is the right idea or not because he doesn't know what you're thinking regarding the subject of dating him.

“If it changes anything, I'd go out with you.”

He perks up, leaning forward. “Even with everything that's happened.”

You wonder if he's referring to the incident at the mall or Freddy's. You nod, nonetheless. “Yeah, you idiot.” You bite the inside of your cheek, unsure of what's going to happen here.

“I don't think that's what girlfriends are supposed to call their boyfriends.”

“Who said you were my boyfriend?”

“I did.”

“It took your sister to help you to find the balls to ask me out, who might I add, said I should ask you out if you didn’t.” You rest your head on your knuckles. “So my question for you is,” the corner of your lips twitch as you fight the urge to smile wide, “when did you ask me to be your girlfriend?”

He stutters, resisting the urge to give you an embarrassing smile because you're right, he never did officially ask. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug and push yourself out of the chair. “I think I might have to think about it.” You’re pulled back, staring into his eyes.

“I think I already know the answer, you just don’t want to admit it.”

You let out a faux sigh, “you got me.”

He’s quiet and the only thing you know is that he’s got a million thoughts running through his head, but you don’t know what. “You know I’m not asking you out just because we almost died and I want something normal for me and Abby, right?”

“I wasn’t.”

His shoulders aren’t as tense, and you can see the stress escape him.

“Now, I am.”

He cups your cheeks, keeping your gaze on him. “I would never do anything unless I wanted to, right? You know that.”

You nod, “I know but… maybe it is too soon.”

“No,” he shakes his head, disagreeing with you.

“I have been in love with you since you kicked the dodgeball in my face during recess. It just- it took me so long to realize because of the guilt I carried for Garrett.”

“That was the second time we met?”

“And the reason we became friends.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer to hug him. “Who knew you were so sappy?”

“Hopefully you.”

You roll your eyes, pushing yourself back. “Yeah, yeah. My boyfriend’s an adorable idiot.”

He chuckles, “so I am your boyfriend?”

“Don’t ruin it.” You two crash on the couch while Abby takes over your bed, until she has a nightmare and comes to grab you two which is how you wound up in bed with your boyfriend of two hours and his kid sister.

-

The next couple of days were hectic, but you guys managed.

“You were right,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“When will you stop doubting me?”

“I never said I doubted you.”

You purse your lips. “I’m pretty sure, you said, “I don’t think she’s going to want spaghetti for the fourth night in a row” and look at where we are, pretty boy.”

“Pretty boy?”

“Yeah,” you lower your voice as if you’re talking to an adorable pet, “cause’ you’re so pretty.”

She looks up from her plate, “can we go visit my friends?”

His head lowers in disbelief before turning towards you, who avoids his gaze while eating a meatball.

You followed your boyfriend into his room, rubbing your eyes more than ready to sleep.

Tonight, it takes you less than twenty minutes to fall asleep, thankfully.

You blink finding yourself back in the arcade section of Freddy’s, following the echo coming from the dark hallway. You swear you hear a voice, quite literally calling out for someone to find it.

You open the door slowly, peeking in to see who it is and freeze.

“You found me.”

A lonely tear trickles down your cheek.

Who said life wasn’t about surprises?

[send-me-a-puffalope]

hiiii there do u think vanessa will become vanny eventually if the movies follow the og timeline of the games? love ur blog btw!

I wanna believe that they’re not gonna bring in Vanessa, a modern FNAF character, into the OG FNAF movie if they weren’t planning on using her for Vanny right?? Like I feel like that’s the most iconic part of her character (also cause there’s like. no other part of her character 🧍me and Steel Wool have beef)

I don’t think the FNAF movies will be following the OG timeline of the games solely because well. *gestures to Vanessa being in the FNAF 1 movie*. I wouldn’t know how they would do the Pizzaplex in 2035 with the current Vanessa 💀💀💀 also just like. I feel like it would be repetitive as a character arc to have Vanessa fall under a Glitchtrap virus or just her father’s control again as Vanny. Not after she kind of went through that whole arc already in FNAF 1.

In my head, I can see them doing Vanny as a sort of ‘Vanessa reclaiming the rabbit persona’ as her own (kind of like the Vanny ending of HW2…. depending on how you interpret that ending) and using it in a revenge fueled hunt to rid everything the Afton name has stained (the victims in the animatronics and pizzerias and the Fazbear brand as a whole)

My biggest fear is that they’re just gonna use Vanessa as an exposition machine to introduce Mike and Abby to the next pizzeria location and have her do jackshit. Or fridge her. I want an exploration of her trauma and the Vanessa William dynamic!!! I need to see how fucked up the situation is in 4k on a cinemark XD screen!!!!!!

(also HWAUGHHH WAHGHHHH GHHHHHGGGHGR TY!!! i got cursed with FNAF autism instead of being good at math and science autism)

[abc04]

[Image Description: Six circle icons of Vanessa from the Five Nights at Freddy's movie over the trauma regressor flag. /end ID]

trauma regressor vanessa icons ❤️‍🩹💐

[rustbeltjessie]

End of the Year Book Asks! 3, 6, 14, 20

3 - What were your top five books of the year?

You get thirteen, because it’s impossible for me to pit fiction against nonfiction against poetry, so I had to separate them all into their own categories. (By the way, these weren’t all released this year—though many were—but they’re all books I read this year.)

Fiction

I Was a Teenage Slasher, by Stephen Graham Jones

Fifty Beasts to Break Your Heart: And Other Stories, by GennaRose Nethercott

The Woods All Black, by Lee Mandelo

Some Strange Music Draws Me In, by Griffin Hansbury

I Love You So Much It’s Killing Us Both, by Mariah Stovall

Nonfiction

Breaking the Curse: A Memoir about Trauma, Healing, and Italian Witchcraft, by Alex DiFrancesco

Magical/Realism: Essays on Music, Memory, Fantasy, and Borders, by Vanessa Angélica Villarreal

First Love: Essays on Friendship, by Lilly Dancyger

Lou Reed: The King of New York, by Will Hermes

Watch Your Language: Visual and Literary Reflections on a Century of American Poetry, by Terrance Hayes

Poetry

Refusenik, by Lynn Melnick

Romantic Comedy, by James Allen Hall

Modern Poetry, by Diane Seuss

6 - Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Oh, so many things. My to-be-read list is neverending. Some things I meant to read in 2024 but never got to include: 

Care Of, by Ivan Coyote

Too Much Too Young: the 2 Tone Records Story: Rude Boys, Racism and the Soundtrack of a Generation, by Daniel Rachel

Why Sinéad O’Connor Matters, by Allyson McCabe

Candy Darling: Dreamer, Icon, Superstar, by Cynthia Carr (I started that one, but didn’t have time to finish it before I had to return it to the library)

Country & Midwestern: Chicago in the History of Country Music and the Folk Revival, by Mark Guarino

Who’s Afraid of Gender?, by Judith Butler

14 - What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

The four I’m currently reading:

A Termination, by Honor Moore

Art Monsters, by Lauren Elkin

Familiar, by Matt Hart

Death Prefers the Minor Keys, by Sean Thomas Dougherty

20 - What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

To be honest? It was Diane Seuss’s Modern Poetry. It…very nearly lived up to my expectations. I had really high expectations because Diane is high on my list of favorite living poets, and though I wasn’t expecting the same exact style in Modern Poetry as in her previous books (one thing I love about her is that she can write about the same topics over and over but make them feel fresh each time), I was expecting to love it as much. And I didn’t, quite. It’s an excellent book of poetry, and I will definitely reread it at some point, but it didn’t knock me out the way her two previous releases, frank: sonnets and Still Life With Two Dead Peacocks and a Girl, did.

[mermaidsirennikita]

well now that the crown is over it's time for one last ranking of the seasons

Lol good lord

Season 2--I think this was the most dramatically consistent, despite the Kennedy episode; the cast was across the board at its absolute strongest; and the throughline of Philip and Elizabeth's marital issues was so good. The intense argument they had on the ship was literally just a couple fighting and was somehow some of the most riveting TV I've ever seen? Plus you had additional standouts like the episode where we saw the seeds of Charles's Various Issues sown after Philip almost kills him in a murder-suicide by plane because he's so annoying (while also doing some genuinely intense trauma delving into Philip's own childhood) and, the delving into the Wallis and David being Nazi sympathizers/the brief returns of Jared Harris and John Lithgow, Matthew Goode doing the absolute MOST!!! with Vanessa Kirby in that absorbing fail relationship... It was a lot. Even the Kennedy episode couldn't sink this ship!!!

Season 4--Olivia Colman had some adjusting to do (and so did Helena Bonham-Carter, though to a lesser extent; imo, the Matt Smith -> Tobias Menzies pipeline was the easiest transition the show ever had, and it's in part because Philip had such a personality transition due to his arc in season 2, so Tobias playing a more settled if still wistful for what could have been Philip who'd become Elizabeth's attack dog made sense) but she was fully settled into this cold but also weirdly funny Elizabeth, so out of touch and brittle yet also comically so. But let us be real, Josh O'Connor and Emma Corrin OWNED this season. The thwarted chemistry of the Australia episode. The transformation from shy Di to broken wife to resolved and jaded icon who's decided to break off and also use her influence for good. ALSO, the only PM performance that matched Lithgow's was Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher. Her chilly meetups with Elizabeth, the one PM than Peter Morgan seemed to acknowledge was never enamored with Liz (and I think he's exaggerated a lot with the others lol), the general looming doom she represents... Amazing. Plus, we get one-offs like Elizabeth choosing her favorite child and the show trying to dodge it being Andrew, Margaret's hot young thang though tbh the show severely condensed that relationship (wrong season but my thoughts remain lol) ... Perhaps the most bombastic season, amazing.

Season 1--a great setup of so many issues that would follow Elizabeth, the only season where we see "the woman", fab setting in with Claire, Matt, and Vanessa, and incredible performances from John Lithgow and Jared Harris (who legit never fails to make me cry when he looks at his family for his last Christmas and starts crying). The "I ASK YOU TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR ME"/"... no" scene with Matt and Claire is an example of their magic together. And I say this as someone who has never found Matt Smith compelling in any other role ever. Also, the way Vanessa Kirby made such a splash with her resentful anger at Elizabeth... God.

Season 3--I was initially frostier on this season, but upon rewatch it's still good TV and had some great standout moments. Tobias Menzies is an excellent Philip, and of course you get the introduction of Josh O'Connor, whose Wales episode and monologue about how he won't be a complete person until his mother dies (when we all know Charles will never be a complete person)... So good. It does suffer from the transition a bit, and I'll be real, I don't think Emerald Fennell really worked as Camilla at any point on the show. This also began the serious issue the show has with really glossing over the complexities of Camilla and her relationship with Charles--the idea that they had this straightforward star-crossed lovers thing, the omission of his other women and her genuine love for her husband and dislike of the idea of being Charles's wife versus his mainstay mistress... Meh. But still, good TV with some great performances. And I'll never be over "MUMMY I HAVE A VOICE"/"no one wants to hear it". One of the coldest takedowns I've ever seen on television, lol. Josh and Olivia were great together. (Also: a really good Anne, especially in this season.)

Season 5--there were things to like about this season. But ultimately, it was a flop. Elizabeth Debicki is such a good older Diana ("older" as in a woman who never even hit 40... Jesus) but the show seems like it couldn't decide between her being a little girl lost who was so easily manipulated, and a spoiled brat who was just upset that Charles didn't love her!!! I find Imelda Staunton horribly miscast as this rather watery Elizabeth, which is a very odd transition from the seemingly-silly-but-deeply-cold woman Olivia played. Jonathan Pryce could've played a really good Philip, had he had a script, and same with Lesley Manville. Dominic was a total miscast as Charles, and go from the FABULOUS scene with Josh O'Connor screaming at Emma Corrin about how she needs to be nicer to his mistress to this guy who's like. Breakdancing with the kids, because he sooooo loves the At Risk Youths (which is so racially coded, and looks a lot worse now that we know Charles is one of the people who asked about Archie's skin tone). The whitewashing of Charles in the last two seasons of the show is INSANE. One standout is the episode about Mohamed Al-Fayed because Salim Daw is an ACTOR!!!! baby but the show is also incredibly fetishistic and offensive in its treatment of the Fayeds so. At what cost. I find it rather odd that the show missed an opportunity to track the interesting angle of Philip and Diana's relationship after s4 (Tobias and Emma were great together, of course) because Philip really was advocating for her on some level up until the last minute in Charles and Diana's marriage (when Diana was like "UMMMM REMEMBER HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR BETTERS ROYAL WHITE TRASH" lmao because she did legitimately have bluer blood than Philip) and that's the kind of quirky thing The Crown used to thrive on.

Season 6--Again, Debicki and Salim Daw give strong performances (as does Khalid Abdalla as Dodi, but he barely gets time, so). Again, the Fayeds get a horrible treatment from the script, but in terms of acting probably the best moment of season 6 was Mohamed's reaction to Dodi's death. Otherwise, pretty horrible. Ghost Diana was bizarrely handled. This fiction that Charles and Diana were on good terms in the end was... lmao. She hated that man. Anyway, it was laughably bad, William and Harry were hopelessly miscast (justice for Harry, lol, PM dropped some obvious hints that he was less than happy with the royal family but I'm like my guy you really could've done more, give us stronger Chaos Harry foreshadowing you coward) and it just ended so weirdly. I hate.

Man, what a ride. I will always love the first four seasons. But damn, it crashed and burned.

[legendreign-archived]

Laws

The mun’s pronouns are she/her. You can call me Vanessa.

1. I do not own all the icons used on this page. Some of them are free icons whose sources I always like or reblog. The 100x100 icons I use for my ooc faceclaim, Jane Judith Jocelyn belong to the deactivated dawns-icons.  Some of the icons I use for Yukio Kasamatsu, Shintarō Midorima, and Taiga Kagami were made by sportbaes. The icons I make by myself are nothing special so please don’t take any of the icons I use except for the ones reblogged and tagged under #icons and #resources.I can also write multiple muses at the same time, just let me know when we’re plotting.

2. DO NOT INTERACT

If you’re someone I have blocked.

If you are a minor.

If you project your traumas onto your muse or identify so strongly to your muse. It’s fine to relate to your muse and give them bits of yourself but people who project onto fictional characters can lash out at others in relation to any word that sounds unfavorable to them and their beloved characters which becomes very distressing. 

Find any triggers listed on my muse bios to be uncomfortable. Your comfort comes first.

If you are a SessRin and or Yashahime anti. If you are uncomfortable with SessRin but still want to interact with my Towa, you are welcome here. I will change Rin’s mother in a thread for your comfort but please understand that first and foremost, Rin will always be my Towa’s mother and you will see a lot of SessRin content in this space.

If you like to apply real life morals to works of fiction.

If you want to cancel fictional characters because I have little qualms about interacting with controversial characters from media, I like.

If you don’t like how I run this blog or tend to police others because I’m NOT here for that.

3. I am private, mutuals only, selective, oc and crossover friendly but fandom selective. I will not follow blogs of unfamiliar fandoms unless you are a trusted mutual.

4. I love shipping, heck, I’ll even ship my muses together but please check out my muse bios to learn about a muse’s ship availability! CanonxOC and OCxOC in addition to crossover ships with my muses are fine with me. Please feel free to ask me if you want to ship our muses, I will seriously consider it if it makes for a great plot / they have chemistry. I am ship exclusive so I will limit my romantic shipping to no more than two interpretations of a canon character. For my human muses, the age limit for shipping is 7 years but I have no problems aging up or aging down a muse to make a ship more comfortable. I am more comfortable doing controversial shipping in historical settings like say, teenagers with adults for example as long as it's still within the 7-year age limit. For my immortal muses, the age limit is very high but don’t ask me to ship my long-lived muses with anyone who is not teenagers or 60+. For my doll muses, we will only ship in verses where my girls are humans / humanoids.

5. I WILL BLOCK

Porn blogs

Anyone who is disrespectful to me/disrespected me in the past/Anon hate. I should technically apply the three strikes rule but honestly, it depends on how rude you are and if you are mentally and or emotionally stressing me out really badly. I don’t appreciate sarcasm and cannot tolerate angry paragraphs. I’ve had emotionally triggering experiences with roleplayers who took my words out of context and decided to throw angry paragraphs at me so please assume best intent. I have no intention of being rude to anyone.

Rp blogs people warn about!

People who bring up drama about rp blogs I don’t know and make call outs not to inform people about genuinely harmful people but over their personal choices that they didn’t like.

RP blogs who are anti-SessRin, anti-Yashahime, anti-Junpei Hyūga

Personal blogs who reblog my roleplay related posts and do not take their reblogs down by the next day even though I have asked them to take it down.

6. I am of legal age, but my muses are not. I am (20+) and don’t mind aging my muses up but there will be no smut! I am very uncomfortable with it, and I prefer to fade to black. I do not do incest or rape. The nsfw-ish thing you will find on this blog is violence (not including torture). This blog and muse bios are not spoiler free. The muse bios contains heavy topics this blog will cover so please read the side sections of the muse bios for the triggers! Trigger warnings will be tagged accordingly. (For ex: smoking tw). The things I tag with nsfw-ish? contain slight nudity and cleavage. I try not to reblog anything extremely graphic so let me know if something upsets you or if I’m missing a tag.

7. Please do not god-mod. Let’s not control each other’s muses or kill them off.  I will always ask for consent if I feel the need to describe your muse’s actions. If I do god-mod, it was most likely an accident. Please let me know so I can apologize and refrain from doing it again. However, if your muse threatens to harm any of mine, expect them to fight back and if your muse is an enemy; then expect them to try to kill your muse as well. I will analyze if it’s possible for them to kill your muse and ask permission before carrying out the act.

8. If you follow first, I will assume you have read my rules and understand the triggering topics that can be presented on my blog. I usually follow back within the week so if I do not, it’s because you lack a rules page, or your muses are not from familiar fandoms. I will unfollow blogs that do not follow me after three weeks unless you are a good friend / trusted mutual / blog I admire/enjoy. If you unfollow me please block me so I can unfollow back. This means that you have no desire to continue interacting or maintaining our friendship so let me know if you unfollowing was an accident.

9. I will delete unanswered starters after a long period of time has passed by to keep the blog clean so let me know if you want me to keep it or that you will take a long time to answer it. Exceptions can be made for good friends who I know are generally slow. Even liking or commenting on the post gives me some reassurance that you saw it.

 10. Feel free to give me reminders about our thread. Tumblr sometimes messes up notifications, so I may have missed something. I will do my best to reply to it and have it queued asap. I try to remind people if at least a month has passed and there has been no response to the thread. I will be lurking around on weekdays and more responsive on Fridays and weekends according to the Pacific Standard Time Zone. Please keep in mind that I work part time so there may be days when I am not on. Discord is also where you can reach me!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I do apologize for the lengthiness and if I give off a harsh tone in my rules, I just want to keep having fun roleplaying with friends and not get triggered by others!

Not a requirement but you can leave a like or comment that you’ve read the rules~!

[yostresswritinggirl]

BIGGEST SHOUTOUT TO THE ARANARA. UNPROBLEMATIC FAVES. May I be reborn as one in my next life.

Oh, Anthony and Anna were such a nice commission chain. Really says a lot about sibling love. OH. THE DRAGON BOYS. GEO AND ANEMO. Dvalin and Azhdaha. We can’t forgot them.

Hmmmm, nameless bard? Vanessa? Ei’s dead friends? Guizhong???? There’s so many NPC besties out here. Tighnari’s juniors???? Rama and Alphonso! My heart has not recovered!

I would say Crepus but thanks for the trauma? Really good for his sons’ character arcs, I guess. *eyeing the butler and maid tho* Nice. I support the titty window uniforms. Totally didn’t question it when I first saw it.

Bloom anon

THE ARANARAS *PAUSES TO SOB FOR ARAMA* I NEED TO VISIT THE BABY, BUT YES, I ACTUALLY LOVED THE ARANARA QUEST ESPECIALLY THE STUPID SILLY QUEST OF THE COOKING FAMILY OF ARANARAS

Also Anthony and Anna!! Especially Anna's character development to becoming an adventurer is one of the best! Xofnrownk you just wrote down every iconic (Kun Jun tho I'd definitely put there and not in a platonic way) NPC BLOOM ANON AJDBSOWNWI fuck it let's put impostorbedo, Inayah, Haypasia, and Taj Radkani there too!!!

WAIT - WAIT NO DON'T STAIN MY IMAGE OF CREPUS, HOW DARE YOU

[thebrainrotof1987]

SB SPOILERS //

ok I know the game has been out for a bit but spoiler warnings anyway. I'm here to talk about my current theory + how it relates to my partner (karma)'s theory abt our boy Gregster.

ALSO LONG POST WARNING SRRY

Overall theory is: I very firmly believe that Gregory could actually be the crying child from FNAF 4, and that the crying child didn't *actually* die. I think that William/the animatronics as extensions of William were able to save Gregory's life after he flatlined via putting his soul/remains of his body into a new animatronic body. Karma thinks that Gregory is a robot, and I have reason to believe there's a connection here.

1) literally the first interaction we have between Gregory + Glamrock Fred is Gregory *knowing* about the child-sized compartments in the animatronics, which would make sense considering what happened to his sister, Elizabeth.

2) Shortly after we learn to pilot Freddy and start rummaging around the tunnels under the main Pizzaplex for an exit, Freddy diverts our path by saying something v much along the lines of "I sense you are broken," and then he takes us to the medkit dispensary. This is VERY out of Freddy's usual speech pattern and specifically resembles the ending quote from FNAF 4: "You're broken, I will put you back together."

3) I'm not the one who originally noticed this (I'll edit + tag them if I can find the post that showed this!) but when we actually see Gregory in the game we can see he has the iconic striped shirt of the crying child from FNAF 4!

4) And this is the most damning piece of evidence imoho; Gregory doesn't ever seem afraid. Surprised for sure, pissed off at his situation (reasonably so tbh), but never *AFRAID* like we'd expect from a young kid. One of the most noticable aspects of frontal lobe loss/alteration is severe personality changes AND a major reduction or complete loss of traditional fear responses (this is actually true look it up there's some rlly neat studies). This all would make sense if he was suffering from severe brain trauma after the bite of 1983, had to enter surgery while in recovery, and after a close-call with a flatline he was then put into a specific animatronic mimicking his original appearance for another chance at life.

4) tying in w the previous note, him being in a robots body explains a LOT of weird stuff throughout the game, mainly post eye-upgrade on Freddy. For example, Vanessa speaks to Gregory in a v similar way to Freddy instead of like an actually lost kid, Freddy notes that Gregory looks *different* once he has Roxy's eyes, AND the fact that a young child has enough strength and endurance to not need sleep, food, or rest when killing animatronics almost 3 times his size. SHITS WEIRD LMAO

anyway I'll add onto this more later if I forgot any theory points and also: I'm no MatPat, I'm not claiming I *know* Scott/Steel Wool's plan w the series or Gregory, this is all just in good fun ^^!

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[vanessakirbyfans]

Some may remember British actress Vanessa Kirby, 32, as Princess Margaret in the first two seasons of the TV series The Crown, or as black-market arms dealer White Widow in Mission: Impossible-Fallout, with Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. This year she received a Golden Globe nomination as Best Actress in a Drama from the journalists of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for her performance in Pieces of a Woman, by Hungarian director Kornél Mundruczó, a role which had already earned her the Volpi Cup for Best Actress at last year’s Venice Film Festival. She costars with Katherine Waterston in The World to Come, by Norwegian filmmaker Mona Fastvold, which also premiered in Venice, and won the Queer Lion award for Best LGBTQ-Themed Film.

The story of Pieces of a Woman is based on a tragic loss that really happened to the director and his wife, Kata Wéber, who wrote the screenplay. What did they communicate to you about their experience?

I knew that for Kornél and Kata this was a personal story, I didn’t know exactly the circumstances of how they lost a baby, but as we started approaching the movie, they did share that with me. I felt that it came from such a viscerally deep part of Kata and from a real need to share and break the silence around something that for women is so rarely talked about. So, this was a quite therapeutic journey for them, and it was very healing, between them as a couple, to go through this process. I literally saw that every day on set, the conversation that was happening between them, the facing of really painful moments, and their very different grieving experiences. That taught me a lot actually because when you go through any kind of loss or trauma, everyone processes it differently, but sharing that it’s healing, so we always hoped that the film would offer some small comfort for people out there who might need it.

Ellen Burstyn plays your mother in the film. What was it like for you to work with such an experienced actress and to get to know her as a person?

Ellen has always been such an icon in my life and such a legend, I’ve seen all of her performances, and she reminds me of Gena Rowlands, who’s also one of my favorite actresses. She has such a fire as an actress, such a strong energy and presence, and yet you always feel this vulnerability, this fragility, underneath. So, I was excited to go head-to-head with Ellen, because she’s done so many incredible films and she’s head of the Actors’ Studio. It was amazing to work with her and actually, we became really good friends. During rehearsals she invited me over to her house for a sleepover, she called it a pajama party, and we really bonded, we spent many hours talking, we went to bed at 3 am. Since then, we’ve been really close, and she’s definitely very maternal towards me. She’s such a soulful spiritual person and she’s so wise, that I’m very lucky to have her in my life.

In The World to Come you play a farmer’s wife living in Upstate New York during the 1850s. What did you discover about how women lived back then?

When I was researching the film, I couldn’t believe how ignorant I was that, not that long ago, women were completely owned by their husbands, that the home was your domain, you should serve your husband in his home and the children that you had, that it was your husband’s choice what you did with your time, what your name was and everything. That was the law, that was the religion and the way it was. In those days it was all about convention, what you were expected to do, who you were told to be by society and by the structures of a completely patriarchal system. These women, who are literally our ancestors in a way, had to make so many sacrifices and simply didn’t have the choices in their lives that we have now. So that made me incredibly grateful for the choices that I have today, whether it’s what I do with my afternoon or who I love, or how freely I can love. So, I felt very passionate about that story.

Did you come to understand some of the elements that make it so liberating for women to have romantic or sexual relationships with other women as opposed to relationships with men?

Mona Fastvold, the director, told us that these relationships between women have always been there, throughout history, and it’s important to tell those stories now, because, even in times when it was almost completely impossible, there would have been moments when two humans really wanted to be together and didn’t have the choice to be able to, because the only union that should happen is between a man and woman. I’m really proud of the film because it’s a brief moment in these women’s lives, when they are seen for who they really are and they really connect, they feel what they should have a right to feel, and they had the courage to actually do it and to be true to who they were.  The film is an ode to those women, like a cry for them in a way. I really imagined all those moments in life that may have been lit up by a person or something that made you feel so free in yourself, and you may have had that only for a moment, because of the system and the restrictions on who you were allowed to be by society.

We have all had a very difficult year, because of the Covid pandemic, and many other problems in the world. What have been some of your thoughts during this time, and do you hope that this crisis could bring about a change for a better future?

Yes, this last year has been so hard on everyone, and so much of it has been about readjusting. We’ve all had a year, when in many different ways there has been loss and our idea of how our life always has been having completely changed, for everyone across the whole planet. I finished filming Pieces of a Woman about a week before the pandemic happened, and we filmed The World to Come right before that, and both films were about the loss of a child, so they strangely seem spiritually linked. They are also both about women who don’t have voices, so I felt like they were giving voice to a female experience that is so rarely if ever, depicted and represented on the screen. Doing those films definitely left me with a sense of hope, that we can come to terms with tragedies and come out of them stronger somehow, whether that means that we’re more united or more compassionate, that we feel more empathy or more solidarity with what every single person is facing right now across the world. That’s what I hope.

[curioosity]

About the Muse

🌟 INFO

Name: Azura Nicknames: Azzy, Little Sunflower Faceclaim: My art, Goldie Vance (most icons), Vanessa Hudgens (FC) Age: In her 20’s, if time ever makes sense for her again. Height: 5’3" Gender: Female Sexuality: Demiromantic Bisexual Nationality/Species: Human / The Protagonist Occupation: Multidimensional traveler, escaped test subject Relationship status: Married to Alvin Anderson @obsolete-parable​

🌟 STORY

Many years ago, Azura’s soul served as a housing unit for one of the powerful six Infinity Gems- the Space Gem. It granted her the ability to travel across the multiverse with ease, with a constant downside; she doesn’t know how to control it.

Having spent years of wandering through different universes Azura had her shares of triumph and trauma; ending up catching the eyes of power hungry individuals- be it a demon from another dimension or a greedy corporation determined to use her ability for their selfish desires.

Due to this, Azura had become increasingly high-strung and finds difficulty in trusting others, struck with fear of being honest and vulnerable. She had survived death time and time again due to the nature of her indestructible soul, making her prone to habits of self destruction.

🌟 PERSONALITY

Strengths: Sassy, cunning and altruistic, she strives to be a person of integrity. Will put other’s needs before her own. Will definitely die for you if you get on her good side. 

Flaws: Reckless, naive. Suffering from intense anger issues and outbursts. Prone to suicidal and self-harming tendencies due to her invincibility and the fact that she had survived death itself.

🌟 INTERESTS

Likes: Journaling her travels, helping others, listening to the rain and watching the stars. Big fan of cats and pranking people. And maybe picking fights with the wrong folks too.

Dislikes: Loneliness. The dark. Demons. Making deals. Memory wipes and white rooms, electrocution. Losing her autonomy as a person. Being a living weapon. The dark sea. 

Ambitions: Finding a place to call home. Feeling worthy enough to be redeemed.

Fears: Bugs, dogs. The sea. Nightmares of her past doings, rejection, betrayal, being controlled against her will, brainwashing, demonic possession, losing herself or the people she cares about.

🌟 ABILITIES

TELEPORTATION

Azura can teleport abruptly along with her emotions, can simultaneously jump in and out of danger when she is terrified enough. It’s something that she still needs to master, and due to this she finds herself teleporting to worlds that she had never been before, even when she sleeps. Her mind and emotions are linked to this specific ability, hence why she is able to stay to places that she feels connected to for a while.

PORTALS

In line with her teleporting powers, Azura now knows how to pull others with her through reality as well as creating doors/traps for others to go through. In certain times of stress, her human form will shed and expose her powerful and ever-changing core, looking like a living breathing portal herself.

SELF-DEFENSE

One of her father figures saw that Azura needed to practice the art of self defense due to her dangerous travels. She is moderately skilled in hand-to-hand combat, both armed and unarmed. Uses swords to defend herself if it’s available, though hesitant.

[doomonfilm]

Review : Candyman (2021)

Nearly all 1980s children like myself had a morbid obsession with ghost stories and urban legends, with much of our free time spent daring one another to do silly things meant to scare the daylights out of one another.  For as long as I could remember these events, I remember the presence of Bloody Mary and the ominous way that she is beckoned by repeating her name while looking in a mirror.  Imagine my surprise when 1992 rolled around, and this very familiar Bloody Mary construct was reskinned into the iconic Candyman film, the tale of a former mob justice victim turned Cabrini Green boogieman.  After three films of varying success, many people thought that was it for Candyman, but along came Jordan Peele and his revelatory reveal as a master horror facilitator we’ve not seen the likes of since Rod Serling.  With the announcement that he was helping to produce a Nia DaCosta directed sequel to the first film, the anticipation was high, and even though it was delayed by COVID-19, the film recently found a release to much critical acclaim and box office success.

The immediate and permeating strength of the 2021 Candyman film is the way that it continues the ruminations on the power of myth.  The original Candyman film used its titular character as a thinly veiled piece of symbolism for gentrification, particularly in the way that White exterior curiosity and interest in the “hood” eventually drives the original inhabitants (read : Black people) out of the hood.  DaCosta updates this approach by flipping the ideas on their head, particularly in the way that the forgotten Candyman myth hangs around in the air of North Chicago as a sordid and sobering reminder of what once stood there, and the capacity for poverty, crime and despair to invade the area again.  Positioning Anthony McCoy as an artist seeking inspiration perfectly opens up the gateway to the shocking revelations we are presented with, bringing the Candyman lore full circle in a way that is satisfying to both those familiar and unfamiliar with the original Candyman film.  Using the unreliable narrator approach to retell the Helen Lyles story was a very nice touch, especially for those that know the way the events unfolded.

Like much of the media originated from or focused on the Black experience in the modern day, 2021 Candyman takes a long and hard look at generational trauma.  Placing us in the familiar location of the former Cabrini Green give us an air of familiarity for certain elements within the film, but despite how much the area has changed, the impact from the horrors that took place prior to the economical shift clearly resonate even if Candyman himself is a distant memory to the people.  Much like the N-word (which I will choose not to use, as per usual), Candyman becomes a tool that can be reclaimed, and rather than embraced, it can be wielded against those that created it by the ones it was intended to hurt.  Even the figure of Candyman goes through his own form of generational trauma as different individuals that succumb to tragedy all step into their own version of the Candyman mantle, up to and including Anthony McCoy (who has his own direct generational ties that I will not spoil).  Even the generational trauma subtext, which is presented through the story of Brianna Cartwright and her sorrowful relationship with her tortured artist father, hits in a way that can be felt and understood by everyone, and even more so by those that have lost loved ones that chose to take their own lives.

While there was symbolism present in the previous film, the dials are ramped up to eleven in this release, with the mirror and bee symbolism in particular working pitch perfectly.  From the opening titles we are made aware of the presence of mirrors within the film, and for those keen enough to keep one eye on the main action and another on any mirrors that present themselves, you are treated to a feast of visual trickery.  While bees were used as a way to put viewers off in the original film, like some sort of sick dig for sympathy by way of shock value, bees in the DaCosta film work as a harbinger of doom, specifically for Anthony McCoy, while also standing as a symbol for how deep the core connection is between McCoy and the Candyman lineage.  Chicago is always the uncredited star of any film it is in, and DaCosta beautifully covers all areas of the city while including segue cutaways where we float through the various famous streets of Chicago from the perspective of a corpse in a casket.  Speaking of perspective, it is used in masterful ways throughout the course of the film, with the Anthony McCoy sequence in Finley Stephens‘ hallway standing as the cherry on top of the perspective sundae.

We need to go ahead and give Yahya Abdul-Mateen II his flowers while he can smell them, because this man may be the most capable actor currently working in terms of effortlessly and casually showing the full spectrum of human emotion in his performances, all the while radiating off of the screen like the kind of guy you’d love to have a beer with, and the kind of friend you care deeply for when they are falling to pieces.  Teyonah Parris counters this by bringing a deeply grounded and protective energy born of trauma to her performance, carrying and conveying deep hurt in very subtle ways that bloom as we pick up with her journey.  Colman Domingo puts a new and updated twist on the familiar harbinger role, shedding the initial terror and uneasiness approach and instead opting for the wise observer approach, hooking both Anthon McCoy and us as viewers and dragging us right up to the point of payoff.  Nathan Stewart-Jarrett takes on the dual task of bringing levity to the proceedings and serving as the universal audience surrogate in terms of a voice of reason, with Kyle Kaminsky adding some very subtle additional laughs in tandem.  The physicality and pain that Michael Hargrove is able to communicate in his Candyman performance stands in stark contrast to the regal Tony Todd approach, which in many ways makes his unfortunate ghost characterization more of a psychological terror than a danger.  Vanessa Williams and Virginia Madsen reprise their original roles, while Rebecca Spence, Brian King, Cari Clemons-Hopkins and many more lend their talents to the cast. 

In all seriousness and sincerity, I love this 2021 take on Candyman even more than I expected to going in.  I’m not ready to place my bets yet, but I’m slowly working on a theory about the Candymen in this film, and specifically who is “responsible” for what actions.  I love films that I instantly want to own after seeing it in the theater, and Candyman is 100% one of those films... lucky for all of us, we should be seeing this one hitting the streaming services within 45 days or so, though I am likely to spend money on seeing this in a theater again prior to that time.

[correspondencearchive]

2. Natalia Nakazawa & Nazanin Noroozi

Natalia Nakazawa and Nazanin Noroozi discuss their use of archives and photographs, creating hybrid narratives, cultural transmission, and the formation of personal and cultural memories.

Natalia Nakazawa, Obtrait I, Jacquard woven textile, 71 x 53 inches, 2015, Photo credit: Jeanette May

Natalia Nakazawa: First off, Naz, how are you doing? There has been so much going on - it is far too easy to forget we have bodies. We have families, we have things we need to do, and we need to take care of ourselves. As they say, put the oxygen mask on first, and then help others. Can you maybe start by just telling us what your day looks like? What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Nazanin Noroozi: I’m doing ok. I have to balance my day job and my studio time. My day job is working in high-end interior design firms in which our clients spend millions and millions of $$$ on luxury goods. It is very interesting to look at the wage gap especially considering the pandemic. When someone can spend 40k on a coffee table for their vacation house, and you hear all the issues with the stimulus checks etc, it makes you wonder about our value system and how our society functions.

As for self-care, I guess just like any other artist, I buy tons of art supplies that I may or may not need! I just bought a heavy-duty industrial paper cutter that can cut a really thick stack of paper! I needed it! I really don't have room for it, but I bought it! So that is my method of self-care! Treat myself to things that I like but may be problematic in the future. ;)

Natalia: I recently re-watched Stephanie Syjuco’s Art21 feature online where she talks about having to actively decide to become a citizen of the US, despite having come to this country at the age of 3. One of the poignant points she brings up is how we are all reckoning right now with what it means to be “American”. She also brings up the iconic photo taken by Dorothea Lange  of a large sign reading “I am an American” put up by a Japanese American in Oakland right after the declaration of internment - thinking about how citizenship can be given or taken away. This all feels very relevant right now. What do you think about these questions? How do you use archives and photos of our past to engage in these issues of belonging, citizenship, and the precarity of it all?

Nazanin: What I try to do with archives is to question them as modes of cultural transmission and historical memory. I think many artists deal with archives in a more clinical and objective manner, whereas I like to add my own agency to these found photographs. When one looks at a family album or found footage, one is already looking at fragmented narratives. You never know a whole story when you look at your friend’s old family albums. I truly embrace this fragmented, broken narrative and try to make it my own. I also constantly move back and forth between still and moving images, printmaking and painting, experimental films and artist books. So there is this hybridity in the nature of found footage itself that I try to activate in my work. In these works handmade cinema is used as a medium to re-create an already broken narrative told by others, sometimes complete strangers to tell stories about trauma and displacement. That is what fascinates me about archives. The fact that you can recreate your story and make a new fictional alt-reality.

Nazanin Noroozi, Self Portrait

Natalia: But who is to say these if fictional alt-realities are less important or less serious than purely “art historical” narratives? One of the things that I am exploring in my work is giving space for slippages in memory, rearranging of timelines to accommodate a lived experience. What happens when we look at collections - even museum collections - with the same warmth, tenderness, and care that we would an old friend? What possibilities are dislodged there? What benefit is there to towing the status quo - which is built on white supremacy, stolen artifacts, and other types of lying, exclusion and dubious authoritative storytelling? Also, there are so many family histories that often become reified - being told and retold with certainty over and over again. How do we claim agency from that oppressive knowledge? The things we tell ourselves about our families may not be “true” so what do we risk by revisiting our archives and re-telling those histories through our current eyes? When we re-examine the history - we may discover new ways of seeing and being with ourselves.

Nazanin: I like to think of photographs as sites of refuge. When you look at a photograph of a kid’s birthday from many years ago, you know for fact that this joyous moment is long gone. These mundane moments that bring you “happiness” and security won't last. It’s like “all that is solid melts into air”. In a larger picture, isn't everything in life fragile and fleeting and there is absolutely no certainty in life?  For example, look at how Covid has changed our “normal everyday” life. A simple birthday party for your kid was unimaginable for months. In “Purl” and “Elite 1984”  I mix these mundane moments with images of flood, natural disasters and other forces of nature to talk about fragile states of being and ideas of home. I digitally and manually manipulate footages of a stormy Caspain Sea, Mount Damavand or a glacier melt to ask my questions about failure or resistance, you know? I let the images tell me the new narrative, both visually and thematically.  

Something I find really interesting in your work is how you re-create these alt-realities by actively and physically engaging your audience into participating in your work, like your textile maps - called Our Stories of Migration? Do you have any fear that they may tell a story you don't like? Or take your work to a place that you didn't anticipate? How do you deal with an open-ended artwork that is finished but it needs an audience to be complete?

Natalia Nakazawa, Our Stories of Migration, Jaquard woven textiles, hand embroidery, shisha mirrors, beetle wings, beads, yarn, 36 x 16 feet, 2020, Photo credit: Vanessa Albury

Natalia: I am always stunned by the generosity of the people I meet - those who dive in and share their own histories - and I think it points to a universal need of ours to share and connect. There is always potential to create intimacy - even within the walls of large institutions, such as schools or museums - when our own lives are placed at the center with care and concern. I’ve never heard a story that didn’t make me pause and grant me more space for contemplating the complexity of being a human on this planet. We have all kinds of mechanisms for memory - archives, written diaries, photos, paintings, objects - but at the end of the day they are nothing without our active participation. Quite literally they are meaningless unless they are being interacted with. That has been the entry point for me, as an artist and educator. How do we take all of these things that exist in the material world and make sense out of them? What does the process of “making sense” do to the way we live TODAY? Or, perhaps, how we envision the future? It is almost like a yoga practice, a stretching of the mind, a flexibility to think backwards and forwards - that lends us more space to consider the present.

Nazanin: Yeah! I think you really are on point here! I think we really can't understand our existence without retelling the history and recreating new realities.

Nazanin Noroozi, The Rip Tide

Natalia: Thank you, Nazanin! Anything coming up for you that you want to mention?

Nazanin: Yes, I am actually doing a really amazing residency at Westbeth for a year. This is an incredible opportunity as I get to live in the Village for one year and have a live-work space in such an amazing place. Westbeth is home to many wonderful artists!

Natalia Nakazawa, History has failed us...but no matter, Jacquard textiles, laser cut Arches watercolor paper, vinyl, jewels, concentrated watercolor and acrylic on wood panel, 40 x 90 inches, 2019, Photo credit: Jeanette May

Natalia Nakazawa is a Queens-based interdisciplinary artist working across the mediums of painting, textiles, and social practice. Utilizing strategies drawn from a range of experiences in the fields of education, arts administration, and community activism, Natalia negotiates spaces between institutions and individuals, often inviting participation and collective imagining. Natalia received her MFA in studio practice from California College of the Arts, a MSEd from Queens College, and a BFA in painting from the Rhode Island School of Design. She has recently presented work at the Arlington Arts Center (Washington, DC), Transmitter Gallery (Brooklyn, NY), Wassaic Project (Wassaic, NY), Museum of Arts and Design (New York, NY), and The Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York, NY). Natalia was an artist in residence at MASS MoCA, SPACE on Ryder Farm, The Children’s Museum of Manhattan, Wassaic Project, and Triangle Arts.

www.natalianakazawa.com @nakazawastudio

Nazanin Noroozi is a multimedia artist incorporating moving images, printmaking and alternative photography processes to reflect on notions of collective memory, displacement and fragility. Noroozi’s work has been widely exhibited in both Iran and the United States, including the Immigrant Artist Biennial, Noyes Museum of Art, NY Live Arts, Prizm Art Fair, and Columbia University. She is the recipient of awards and fellowships from the Artistic Freedom Initiative, Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts, NYFA IAP 2018, Mass MoCA Residency, North Adams, MA and Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts Residency, NY. She is an editor at large of Kaarnamaa, a Journal of Art History and Criticism. Noroozi completed her MFA in painting and drawing from Pratt Institute. Her works have been featured in various publications and media including BBC News Persian, Elephant Magazine, Financial Times, and Brooklyn Rail.

www.nazaninnoroozi.net @nazaninnoroozi