#wade wilson headcanon

[gatorbites-imagines]

Yes! Wolverine & Deadpool having a brat off? Both sub brat bottoms competing for reader? Maybe ending up in a 3way relationship

Logan Howlett x Cable variant male reader x Wade Wilson

Headcanons

I like cable, so, cable variant reader. i had a lot of fun writing this, so i hope yall enjoy.

You were a variant of cable, that much was clear when Logan and Wade first met you in the void. The mechanical eye and arm were a pretty clear tell.

And Wade, already knowing his own Cable, immediately started squealing and trying to jump at you to hug you and kiss you all over in the way Deadpool is known for. Of course you throw him off you, maybe even shoot him once or twice, because who wouldn’t.

You and Logan were both pretty gruff guys, with pasts of your own that made you that way, where Wade was just his annoying self. It helped keep everything less tense though, especially in the fight against Cassandra.

In the end, you somehow got dragged along to the big fight, and you being a cable variant got different versions of Deadpool to start fawning over you during the whole fight sequence with them.

After it all was done and over with, you also got dragged along to Wades timeline. You were different enough to his cable to fit in without the universe ripping itself apart, and what could you say, you had grown to like these two, as much as you butted heads.

Blind Al was immediately against both you and Logan moving in, since there was barely any room at all. She did appreciate you being able to cook though, and the fact that you could jump across time to get her cocaine from the future.

In the end, Wade, Logan and you move out together after taking different jobs, and getting paid by the TVA to deal with variants making their way into this universe. You bring Mary poppins obviously.

You couldn’t tell when it all got romantic, neither could Logan and Wade honestly. You all lives together, and you'd left Wade in charge of getting beds, like the idiots you were. And of course he got one of those Alaskan king beds

Wade pouted and whined about how you were both so hairy, and how he was hairless all over so of course he needed to cuddle between you and Logan for warmth. It resulted in some fighting, Wade getting impaled by Logans claws, and you scruffing them both to pull them apart like scrabbling cats.

In the end you guys keep the bed though, and end up sleeping together with you in the middle. Logan has a preference to sleep on your mechanical arm, since he can’t break it easily, and wade just likes to tuck himself as deep into the crook of your arm as possible, always moaning about man stench and how nice and hairy you are.

That always results in you rolling over so your backs towards him, deciding to just spoon Logan instead. And yes, you do notice the little cocky smirk on Logan's lips when you do it, especially when he makes sure Wades watching. Its only when Wade starts rolling on the bed whining like a shot dog that he’s so cold and lonely that you roll back over to let him cuddle against you again.

Logan isn’t the most affectionate guy in the beginning, where Wade is too much. Its clear to you that they’re both acting like this as a defense mechanism, and it takes a long time for you to work them both to a place where they’re more comfortable.

You aren’t too shocked that Logan and Wade both turn out to be cuddlebugs, Logans just a lot grumblier and more catlike about it, where Wade is more like an over excited puppy slobbering all over your face, because he got the bright idea to try and lick your mechanical eye.

What you hadn’t expected was for them both to be so… damn… bratty…

Wade you could see, hell, it was even expected. It didn’t even take him an hour after meeting for him to bend over too much and grind back against you and giggle like a schoolgirl about it. Logan had been a bit of a shock though.

You had assumed you two would need to duke it out for dominance like a pair of bears for territory, but after getting him comfortable, Logan just rolls over and shows his stomach. It left you scratching your head a bit, but you weren’t gonna turn him away, who wouldn’t want to top Logan?

Him acting bratty was an experience though, the first few times. Where Wade was bratty in the way where hed show off way too much, wearing tight clothes or rubbing on you, teasing you any chance he got. Logan was brattier in the way that made you want to throw him over your knee and smack some sense into him, with the nonorganic hand you had.

He started scratching at furniture, leaving your boots and weapons all over the apartment, using up all your leather grease and leaving the tin empty in your toolbelt. It was like he was trying to see which buttons he could press and which he couldn’t.

Maybe it was because of your mind powers, but you could feel the, whatever it was, brewing in the air, growing thicker each day. It got to the point where Wade and Logan mixed up their methods. How the hell were you gonna focus on your guns when Logan was flaunting around in nothing but a way too small towel, and Wade was making a damn mess in the kitchen he wasn’t gonna clean up?

Logan was the first to pick up when they’d gone too far, since hed been hypervigilant about your scent since they started rocking the boat. But Wade very quickly paid attention when you put your, unpolished still, boots on and got up.

They’d both tensed up when you turned your two different eyes towards them, the tech eye flaring in a way they both knew meant business. They were both left floundering though, as you grabbed your jacket and told them to get ready for when you came back, and you just… left.

Both Wade and Logan were lost about that, both expecting you to bend them both over and make them regret how far they had pushed you, but instead they could just hear your heavy boots stomping down the hallway and out the apartment building.

Neither of them were too well behaved, but they were smart enough to at least get naked and prepped, and maybe they helped each other, though it was mainly Wade riding Logans fingers and whining like he was wounded the entire time.

A good hour passed before you came back, smelling like the cigarettes you smoked when you needed to do a more serious hit. Logan could also smell alcohol on you, but nowhere near enough to mean you were drunk. You had clearly just let them be to make them anxious.

Wade got whiny and grumbly when you undid your belt and freed yourself, just tilting your head in their direction as if to say “you gonna apologize to me?”. Logan, being the smarter of the two, and wanting to be first, was quick to crawl towards you and wrap his lips around your shaft.

Wade, seeing this, immediately started complaining and crawling over, trying to lap at whatever Logan couldn’t fit in his mouth, which wasn’t a lot, seeing as Logan didn’t want Wade to get any of you so he pushed his throat to the max.

As they fought for your cock, you just leaned back to watch, and unamused expression on your face as if it was the most boring blowjob you had ever gotten. Even as Wade swapped to lap at your sack instead, since Logan was hogging your cock.

You do end up fucking them both senseless, your telekinetic powers coming in handy to hold the one you weren’t shoving face first into the floor still. It also helped you keep Wades mouth shut, since he became even more of a motormouth with you inside him.

Of course, you also made Wade lick up the drool puddle he made on the floor, as well as making them both lick up the other messes they made. As a treat you let them eat your loads out of each other, because yes, you could be nice.

You weren’t though, so, even as Wade whined and complaining and Logan grumbled and scowled, you used your powers to cage them both up. If they were gonna be such brats, then they didn’t deserve to touch themselves, each other, or be touched by you.

And with the restriction being made from your mind powers, and you being so powerful, you could keep up with it even when asleep. And it wasn’t like they could just pull it off.

It led to even more bratting for the next couple of weeks, both of them acting out in their own ways about the punishment. But you just end up lengthening the period of your punishments, and adding more stuff on top of it.

Surprisingly its Wade that gets taken out of it first, since he could be good when he wanted too, and Logan has a tendency to be extremely stubborn. To no one’s surprise, Wade gloated the entire time he was allowed to ride you, taunting Logan that he wished it was him, but it wasn’t.

You did have to spank him for that one, but Wade didn’t seem to mind that much.

When you finally let Logan out, he’s on you in a second, whinier than you’re used too and rocking in your lap, more desperate than he’s been in years.

After all this you know their good behavior will only stick for a month or two before they’re back to it. you won’t complain though, since you love it. you act like you hate it, but that’s just part of the game, and seeing them compete makes your heart (and your crotch) full. And you all know that they enjoy the punishments too.

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Wolverine x Deadpool x F!Reader

ᯓ★ Being in a polyamory relationship with these two. (A dream inspired this AHAHHA–) fluff, lots of bickering between the two, funny/goofy shit, bit of jealousy/possessiveness, reader is fem!!

This whole relationship is a mess.

I'm talking never getting a moment of peace kind of mess.

For example this one time you drove the Honda Civic.

Nobody understood why you were the one behind the wheels 'cause now you're ramming into everything with Logan grabbing on the handle for dear life while Wade is having the time of his life at the back.

"Stop the damn car before we crash, bub! Yer gonna kill someone!" Logan shouted and at the same time Wade was screaming out the lyrics to "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.

Did I mention how different these two are with you?

Wade loves it when you run to hug him, he would swing you around a couple of times with your legs wrapped around his waist.

As for Logan, he prefers something less than that. A simple hug is enough and you can't complain much about it because the way he completely engulfs you in his embrace always made your chest flutter.

It's no surprise that they are protective over you.

Like when you were captured by some troops in the void. The fire guy, Johnny Storm, couldn't help but try to flirt with you. He figured why not shoot his shot right?

"Hey..." He'd say, flashing you a cheesy smile.

And seeing his attempt to charm you, you couldn't help but find it amusing and chuckle.

Clearly the two didn't like it.

Which is why that may or may not be the reason why Wade decided to out the man and get him killed 🤷‍♀️ I guess we'll never know 🤔

You and Wade enjoy pulling pranks on Logan.

The sight of him being pissed off pleases you both.

There was this one time you guys swapped his whiskey to a non-alcoholic drink and you can imagine his frustration.

"WADE!!" But he can never get mad at you. He just can't.

Even Wade complains about this privilege of yours.

"Seriously Lo?! You're gonna get mad at me and not our lovely prank partner here? Come on man, we're both guilty parties in this crime scene. If you wanna get angry, at least share the spotlight :("

Cue you sticking your tongue out at Wade as he pouts with puppy dog eyes.

All jokes aside, the two love and support you dearly.

I like to think Logan is more of an old romantic and Wade is the adventurous type.

That's why it can sometimes take a while for them to decide what to get as a present for you.

"Why the fuck would she want a pillowcase with our faces on it?" Logan asked with genuine disgust in his eyes.

"Why wouldn't she?! It's cute as fuck, and you can never have too many pictures of us together. Besides, it's a lot cheaper than buying a life-sized statue of me for her bedroom, although that's an option too, I hear Wolverine-shaped body pillows are all the rage these days" Without realising, he continued on muttering nonsense to himself which had Logan roll his eyes.

"I'm buying her the leather jacket and it's final" Not letting Wade say anything, he'd walk off to the cashier with him left behind. His action causing him to get irritated.

"What about the budget?!?!" He'd raise his voice but Logan simply ignored him. Fed up, he stomps on his feet as he points at his back.

"Fine, you big lug!! I'll let you have your way this time. But don't come crying to me when she dumps us for a pair of more decisive superheroes!!" He'd shout.

In the end you appreciated the gifts you got for your birthday. Each gift speaks for their character.

You guys definitely have lazy days.

Days where you'll lounge around in pajamas and watch cheesy romantic comedies together, complete with a pile of blankets and snacks.

Expect there to be lots of laughter, cringing, and the occasional eye rolling. Not to forget how you three would start making fun of the characters and the cliche plotlines.

Logan clearly struggles to sit through the entire movie marathon and you always have the to be the one to pull his arm to prevent him from leaving.

"Gimme a break, bub. It’s the same damn thing every time— the good guy wins, the bad guy loses. It’s like they think we got the emotional range of a rock"

"Gee, what a buzz kill. But are they wrong though? You practically live like a rock!!" Wade laughed with Logan letting out a scowl.

Thank goodness you're dating them or else they'd be fighting almost all the time.

In the relationship you're the peacemaker

No but seriously Wade calls you that and the nickname has stuck to you.

You enjoy sleeping in the middle with the two on either sides. Half of the time you always wake up with the two fighting over you.

Just imagine Logan pulling you closer to him but before he could even do that, Wade would be quick to pull you back to his embrace despite them both being asleep.

You like to think it's their reflexes. That even when sleeping they're still fighting with each other 😭

However you absolutely adore the two.

Logan will MELT when you kiss his knuckles. Especially when you do it with your eyes locked to his. He will literally go feral for you.

And Wade? He absolutely loveloveloves it when you baby him. It's his guilty pleasure. Hold him close with his face placed against your chest and he swears the voices in his head finally quiets down. That's why you're his angel.

Also, the two really enjoy showering you with kisses. You can barely ever hold back a smile with the two smooching every surface of your face.

Will do anything to get your praise.

The competitiveness is too much.

Oh Logan got you a bouquet? Well Wade got you a bouquet made of tacos. Who's the better one now huh? 😋

To be fair Wade is Wade. There's nothing you can do about it... but that doesn't mean Logan is ever gonna let him get his way.

"Where's Wade?" You'd ask, watching Logan sink on the sofa beside you.

"Don't know... could care less..." He'd say, wrapping an arm around you to snuggle with you. In the other room Wade has been stuffed inside the closet. Completely restrained and duck taped.

All I can say is that dating them is all fun and love. Literal baby girls.

[eupheme]

Can you imagine sending Logan nudes lmaooo. If you have any time would you make a little drabble about sending Wade and Logan nudes and their reactions (,:

oooh hi anon, this is so 👀 to think about!! I feel like they would both be incredibly appreciative for sure (just like - knowing you were thinking about them would be such an ego boost for both) - I feel like Wade would be over the moon and so complimentary. and Logan might be a little more old-school. admiring, of course - no one’s sent him something quite like this before. He’d keep it safe - pull it out when he’s really missing you.

I have a little drabble for each below! Just a fun pov of them receiving them 💖 thank you so much for sending this!!

SENDING WADE & LOGAN YOUR ✨PHOTOS ✨

wade wilson x gn!reader | logan howlett x gn!reader

WADE

Wade is out - but it doesn’t matter, not when his sweetie pie snookums is messaging him. As soon as the metal gear alert chimes, he’s peeling away from the group to check your text.

Teeth sinking into knuckles when he sees the pretty picture you sent him - hard enough to bruise if he wasn’t already healing.

All that skin, bared for him to see. Red leather spread out beneath - something resting against your parted lips.

With a tap, it’s already the new background of his phone. Your contact photo as well - his thumbs moving a mile a minute as he texts you.

> baby.

> BABY.

> fuck, you look so fucking good.

> I’m SO fucking hard right now

> Is that my suit? IS THAT BABY KNIFE???

Your messages comes back instantly

> why don’t you come over and see? ❤️

“Fuck, I love you.” He groans, palming himself as he texts something back. Emojis, a random press of letters, he has no idea. Doesn’t fucking matter.

Throwing out the quickest goodbye he’s ever managed as he power-walks through the bar - still talking a mile-a-minute as he passes the shared table.

“Gotta go, listen - Avengers-level stuff here. The Marvel Jesus beacon has been lit, I am legally obligated to answer the call-”

Ignoring the chorus of questions that follow -

Because he’s got somewhere really goddamn important to be.

LOGAN

It’s late, when Logan hear the ping of his cell. His head tilting back on the couch, as he swipes through to his messages.

A breath held, when he sees what you sent him.

He lifts up on an elbow - a confirmation that the door is shut behind him. Keen senses catching the slow breathing in the room behind, before he settles back down.

Phone held close, as he looks at your message again.

He’s used to old, grainy polaroids. A hint of intimacy, tucked into a pocket when he enlisted. It’s nothing compared to this.

Bared skin. So much implied in the way your hand curves - hiding what he wants to see. The peek of his flannel at your wrists, before the rest is cropped with the angle.

An aching swell to his cock, as his hand drops to snake beneath the waistband. Squeezing himself, as he bucks into his palm.

A second, before his thumb is tapping on your contact. He can hear the smile in your voice the second you answer his call.

“You liked it, baby?”

His eyes close at the soft coo of your voice.

“Yeah. Fuck yeah,” He rasps, “You just take that?”

You hum your answer, and his fist tightens. A bitten-back groan, as his eyes close. Picturing the photo again. Picturing you.

“Fuck. Keep going, sweetheart.” Logan groans, “‘m right there with you. Wanna hear you when you come.”

thanks again for sending this! 💖

[ofstardustanddreaming]

hidden sparks

headcanon summary: deadpool and wolverine individually + poly reacting to mutant gn crush who can hide their presence

content warnings: a couple of sex jokes, slight swearing, mdni

fandom: deadpool and wolverine

character: wade x reader, logan x reader, poolverine x reader

anon request

a.n. - i'm sorry this took a while, grad school immediately kicked my ass :(

Logan:

he's much more gruff about your powers, he aims to act as if he wasn't that interested at first. he's seen a lot of mutants before, hell he's one himself. but he can't lie that's he's interested in you beyond the powers you display.

he likes to play a sort of game without your knowledge, wondering if you'd make fun of him, where he tries to figure out where you might reappear after you disappear. he swears there's a light shimmer, barely noticeable, when you're about to reappear back into focus. but he has to be very focused on you, which causes him to realize how much he's been seeking you out lately.

the moment logan realizes his feelings for you, he turns into more of a grump around you. he does revere your powers, and he reveres you as a person more than that. but he internalizes his feelings, and his amped moodiness around you caused you to believe he hated you for your powers.

you didn't like the feelings of logan hating you, making you feel small because you've harbored a crush on him for a while, so anytime you were both in the same room together, you'd use your powers to hide yourself. (you were using your powers as a defense mechanism, much like logan with his enhanced grumpiness.)

but it causes logan to be concerned, wondering if you hated him as with how in and out of vision you were anytime he was in the room. the strong miscommunication between you two causes friends in the mansion to sit you two together, aggravated by your unseen feelings for one another.

you're both thankful for them at the end of the day, it causes you two to talk it out, finally confessing. (the second you two kiss, you nervously disappear, causing logan to roll his eyes.)

he does love how you two work as a team, you'd sneak up behind enemies to shove them near logan, where he'd pierce them with his claws. you'd then take the moment when he discards the body to launch yourself forward and reappear between his arms.

even though you may seem transparent at times, logan knows you're dependable.

Wade:

he's making constant jokes at your expense, wanting to constantly make some sort of perverse joke about what the sex would be like when he can't see you, but could still feel you.

you have to roll your eyes, using your powers to sneak up behind him to jab him with your weapon, especially because it wouldn't do long term damage. (even though he kinda actually knows where you are, hello fourth wall break. but he knows it's one of your ways of jabbing at him affectionately since he can't actually die.)

he absolutely asks you to pull pranks on fellow x-men, reveling in the idea of colossus being yanked around by you. or at the very least taken off guard by what you're doing since you're invisible. (wade revels in colossus always looking over his shoulder whenever wade visits, thinking you'd be with him if he's visiting solo.)

he appreciates having your help down in the void, thinking you'd be of good use against cassandra. he also would appreciate if you try to help him take down other people there (pretty much just nicepool).

whenever you're pissed with him, you'll turn invisible, causing him to roll his eyes, thinking you're childish, even if he has a general idea of where you're at. (blind al gets a kick out of it, thinking wade could use a taste of his own medicine.)

if wade every gets social media, he's requesting your help constantly with special effects, using your invisibility to help with prop efficiency.

he may never say it, but he is nervous that you becoming invisible one day means you've left him forever or died, so he pulls you a little closer. he'll be vulnerable about that one day, maybe on a day he's a little more sure you won't actually leave him.

Logan + Wade:

you love messing with them both with your power. you'd use your powers to sneak up on them, tickling them when they least expect it. they have to be on their guard anytime it's been too quiet and you aren't in their vision.

they both love seeing you thrive with your power. you were initially a bit hesitant to engage with your powers, knowing it can be odd to see your partner just disappear, but they loved seeing how you evolve.

you all absolutely think it would be cool to take advantage of your powers for all of your own benefits, like when you go to the movies, you could walk in for free and reappear at the snack area for what you wanted. or go invisible to snag some ice cream from the corner shop, no one could figure out where you were.

you had the great idea one year to go with them to a haunted maze and turn invisible while you were behind them and they weren't looking behind them. they got to the end of the maze, but wondered where the hell you were. when they turned around, you reappeared and scared the shit out of them. they still get grumpy if you bring it up (it's not like wade doesn't know where you are when you turn invisible, he's just not always paying attention to when you disappear so he can't focus on where you are.)

sometimes they love scaring you invisible, like when you're cooking. they'll come up behind you and scare you into hiding yourself, which means a bit of a food fight.

when you tell them that sometimes you're scared that your powers means that you'd be forgotten by them in the relationship, or they'll move on because they might perceive you as dull when you hide a bit of yourself for too long. but they're quick to reassure you otherwise, how could they possibly forget the coolest person they know?

[maddpool]

At first Logan is convinced Wade is a morning person. It's both annoying and endearing, but that's how most things are with Wade. He's way too cheerful and talkative whenever they have to be somewhere before 9 in the morning but also will almost always have coffee ready for Logan when he finally emerges from his beauty sleep. Sometimes there's even not half-bad breakfast waiting for him.

With time, though, Logan realises that Wade doesn't really sleep. At all.

He will go to bed in the evening, but it seems like it's mostly so they can cuddle or to humour Logan. He barely gets any sleep at night, most days he just lies there staring at Logan or his phone or he, very quietly, so not to disturb Logan, gets up and goes to do his own things.

Unlike Logan, who, despite always being grumpy when Wade calls him that, actually is an old man who loves his sleep, Wade doesn't have any routine. He will catch an hour or two at night sometimes, but mostly he just crashes down whenever his body has had enough, and if he's lucky he'll get a solid 4 or 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

When Logan realises he tries to talk to Wade about it, but it's one of these things that he just brushes aside like it's not a problem at all.

But it is.

Especially when Logan is hit with the fact that he definitely woke up Wade from his slumber more times than he cares to admit, thinking Wade was just being lazy or didn't want to do whatever he was supposed to or what they agreed on.

Sometimes when these moments happen after a mission and they're both tired he will offer Wade "a nap" together to actually get him in bed, even if it's not Logan's bedtime yet.

He already knows that talking about it won't do shit, so instead he tries to pay more attention to these moments. When he can sense Wade is more tired than usual he will cancel any plans they might have had, making up an excuse so Wade doesn't feel like it's on him. When Wade is asleep, Logan will do everything not to wake him up, also making sure others won't bother him. Silencing Wade's phone, offering to go shopping with Al or taking both her and Mary for a walk.

More times than not Logan will also do anything that Wade mentioned having to do that day, because he notices that whenever Wade crashes, he later feels bad about not keeping his word, either to Logan or Al, or to himself.

It takes Wade an embarrassingly long to notice the change, only when he starts to feel like he actually rested whenever he wakes up. He hasn't felt this good in ages, healing factor or not.

When he finally realises it's all Logan's doing he actually cries. He immediately goes to hug Logan harder than ever and just says "I love you, too".

[wadewnstonwilson]

stealing his catchphrases deadpool headcanons || suggestion by @arrtsy-ash

pairing: wade wilson (deadpool) x genderneutral!reader

author note: let me know if you guys want me to make this into an actual fic!! also would love to make more headcanons in the future featuring logan or wade so please feel free to drop me an ask!

after spending so much time with wade , you find yourself saying "maximum effort!" when doing mundane tasks—whether it's trying to open a stubborn jar or rushing to meet a deadline. wade notices immediately and shoots you a playful look every time. "aw , babe, you’re using my words now. next thing i know, you'll be running around in red spandex too."

the first time wade hears you drop one of his catchphrases, his jaw drops dramatically, and he places a hand over his heart. “oh my god, they’re becoming me! my work here is done. do you want the katanas now or later?”

you’ve picked up some of wade’s colorful language. when you drop an f-bomb mid-conversation, wade smirks and tilts his head, playfully teasing, “look at you, babe. cursing like a mercenary! you’re gonna make me blush. or … y’know, not, since my face already looks like a beat-up avocado.”

wade finds it completely endearing that you’ve picked up his habits and catchphrases, but in true wade fashion, he’ll give you endless amounts of good-natured teasing. underneath it all, though, he loves how much of an influence he has on you—it makes him feel like you two are the perfect chaotic match.

[fairlyang]

been having thoughts of this concept for weeks and i loveeee this series so i just had to spitball something for fun. happy halloween🎃

w/c: 777

tags: blood, murder, cruel violence, wade being wade, silly, death, more murder, revenge, helping, then a lil horny, just some headcanons really

purge night with wade would include:

taking down every singular person that has spoken bad about you, or done you wrong in any way, shape or form

sure wade could’ve done that anyway since he’s a merc but breaking in after that alarm comes on was the fun part

depending on how awful they were to you would depend on their punishment from wade

like your creepy and annoying ass boss just got a warning by wade barely grazing his chest with his katanas, marking a big x

the one who had it the worst was your god awful satan’s spawn asswipe of an ex

wade would have a blast with him

“oh you thought you’d slip by this day just because you bought an expensive security system to protect yourself? well it’s not your lucky day baby boy…”

he’d make sure that piece of shit could feel absolutely everything that he did to him

ending it off by putting a grenade in his mouth and wishing him luck while skipping away

—

he’d def be wearing wearing all kinds of masks just because he could

spider-man? the first one he got. winnie the pooh? fuck yes. darth vader? abso-fucking-lutely. he’d even add his own impression and make you dress up as padmé

—

he’d blast every wham! banger as loud as possible while driving around being a menace

maybe he’d pretend to be dead in a street or alleyway to bait people out and about because who the fuck is out on purge night besides pyschpaths?

“hey hey! oh you’re out purging huh? yeah i’m sure… stay safe out there! there’s loads of crazies out here.”

—

or drive out to hot spots of shoot outs to “help out” one team but really just making jokes and annoying both groups that they all turn to shoot him

which of course doesn’t do them any good when he just regenerates in front of their eyes

—

or he’d be an absolute sweetie and break in to those playing where rich white people auction to kill off poor minorities and just absolutely ambushes those sick fucks

luckily if they shoot him, he’s perfectly fine after a few seconds and shoots up like a zombie frightening them all

he’d def make sure that all those rich fucks never have the nerve to do that stupid shit again or else

“you think of doing this ever again baldie and i’ll make sure you live the rest of your life afraid to do be in a room alone because i will be there to fuck your shit up and not in the good way!”

—

or maybe someone killed you and he vows to kill the mother fucker who took his whole world away from him

he’d have a very clever and thought out plan, and best of all, no collosus to stop him this time

he’d have every fucking gun, sword, and grenade he owns in his car as soon as the siren goes off and get there as fast as possible

they wouldn’t be let off the hook at any point and he had a shit ton of back up plans in case he lost them

“didn’t you hear John Kramer is back in, you son of a bitch!! this house is your fucking trap dipshit.”

—

public sex

sure you’d be doing that anyway because wade truly didn’t give a fuck if you were caught but doing it on this day meant no tickets

and doing it anywhere

he first took you to the mall, just wanting to fuck you in the food court where your moans would echo loudly

it was way better than he thought

just taking you in multiple positions on a table before quickly scrambling to put his clothes back on to go to the next location

a rooftop

he’d have you only holding onto the edge of the roof while fucking you in doggy

“god what a fucking view.”

“oh yeah your ass looks good from back here too.”

his crazy ass would ask you to ride him while on the very edge which just had you explaining that you weren’t invincible and would just splat on the floor if you fell

“that just means you need to practice more as a cowgirl…”

after that failed he fucked you on the hood of his car, covering your body just in case anyone would pull a fast one

but no one did, only a group of guys passed by cheering you on saying “fuck the government!”

finishing it off by fucking in every room of your apartment but really truly ending it by fucking in front of the window like true exhibionists, the way god intended

[imk1ra]

Wade: Care to give a free sample to a pretty person?

Y/n, manning a bake sale and tired of their shit: Sure! You know one?

Wade:

Wade: Care to give a free sample to an ugly person?

[faerieriddle]

Wade Wilson has a massive soft blanket collection that he gives guests based on his opinion of them. The ones he hates get that dollar tree fake Sherpa blanket that becomes texture hell when it goes through the wash and his favorites get a cashmere Pinkie Pie blanket.

[miawastaken]

Being Besties With Deadpool Headcannons

TW: language, drug use, alcohol use.

Reader's gender not mentioned.

【🎱　🪐　🎸】

🪐 Meeting Deadpool would be a happy accident.

🪐 Back when he was still hanging out at Sister Margret's you two met through Weasel (the bartender in Deadpool 1)

🪐 You two trauma-bonded and you both got extremely drunk and ended up slashing your ex's tires and somehow woke up in an abandoned parking lot the next morning.

🪐 When Wade and Vanessa met you offered to back up because you understood they want time with each other but to your surprise Vanessa was actually the one who asked you to stay.

🪐 Constant film references. CONSTANT.

🪐 When you met Blind Al she hated you at first but the night ended with cocaine so it's all good.

🪐 Ikea furniture building.

"Wade who the fuck likes the Småstad?!"

"WELL IT SURE AS FUCK IS BETTER THAN THINKING THE NOJIG LOOKS GOOD!"

🪐 Dance sessions to iconic songs.

🪐 Wade simping over Logan and vividly describing the events of The Honda Odessy.

🪐 You ship Wade with everyone. Vanessa? Duh. Logan? Without a doubt. Cable? Why the fuck not!

🪐 Dogpool is his child and he makes sure you know it.

【🎱　🪐　🎸】

Thanks for reading! feedback is more than welcome and is appreciated <33

[mountainshroom]

If she has no fans call the ambulance cause I am dead

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 18

Wade Wilson + Leather/Latex

Readers a spiderman variant of Last stand Spidey, cuz ive been a spideypool fan for years, and cool jacket. I was listening to NSYNC as I wrote this.

2024 kinktober masterlist.

Wade and Logan had never thought they’d stumble upon a spiderman variant of all things in the void. Deadpools, Gambits, Juggernaut and whoever else they stumbled upon, sure. But Spiderman? Savior of the world in many universes spiderman? With great power comes great responsibility spiderman?

Sure, Wade got one of the worst erections of his life when he watched the Spidey whip out a gum, and just blast the head off some variant of The Shocker. His knees almost buckled, Wade almost cumming right then and there. Seeing a Spidey in those tight pants, leggings? Spandex? And a leather jacket, waving around a gun and using it right? That was going right in the spank bank.

The scrunched up disgusted face Logan had, made it obvious that Wades arousal was strong enough for the mutants’ nose to pick it up. But how couldn’t he be so hard his head was swimming? Especially when that Spidey walked towards them, carrying himself with a confidence that spoke of many years of experience.

Why you helped them, even you didn’t know. Maybe it was some part of you that still wanted to be a hero, to help save the universe or whatever. In your own words, you were the worst Spiderman. You were selfish, violent and ruthless, nothing like the light in the dark Spiderman was meant to be. You had hurt your family and loved ones, and killed people who didn’t deserve it, but no part of you felt bad about it.

Hearing this, Wade almost excused himself to go jerk off again for what had to be the tenth time since you partnered up with them. It wasn’t his fault, okay? Spiderman and Deadpool just go together in most universes, you guys were literally soulmates in most universes. You just happened to be real eye candy.

It was surprisingly easy for Wade to talk you into coming with him to his universe. His universe didn’t have a spiderman, obviously he still knew about Spiderman though, he was Deadpool. Logan came along too, but he started grumbling about Wade being a horndog real fast, especially as you bunked with the two as well as Blind Al and Dogpool.

You found it easier than Logan to become part of this world, since there wasn’t really any memories. For Logan it was harder, with the X-men still being alive and all. But Peter Parker and other spider variants didn’t seem to exist. Youd also spent a long time dealing with your problems, so you were even able to get a job.

Guess where you got a job. The Daily Bugle, of course. You were able to snatch a job as a reporter instead of a photographer like you had in your younger days, and somehow you ended up not only befriending Jameson, but becoming one of his go-to reporters. Probably helped that his wife hadn’t died during that robbery, instead she was just injured real bad, but lived.

With your lucrative, or as lucrative as it could get, job, you found your own apartment and moved out, much to Wades despair. He had just started thinking you two were bonding, especially as you had started cleaning your guns together. Wade had even stopped longing for Vanessa, instead turning his attention towards you. and being Deadpool, Wade flirted up a storm, even making jokes about getting a red wig so he could be your Mary Jane.

And yes, Wade stole your spiderman jacket on the regular. You were working a lot, so you wouldn’t notice, right? You wouldn’t notice it being scrubbed clean after hed squirted all over it as he worked himself into a frenzy, huffing the scent of your sweat, gun oil and blood off the leather, right? Of course you noticed, you weren’t stupid, you just… didn’t feel like there was a reason to stop him.

With your new apartment you got to spend more time and space on your hobbies, which just happened to be guns and photography. You were still a spiderman variant after all. you just happened to focus on more than landscape and spiderman pictures, instead you liked taking more extreme or gorey pictures of the latest rogue or villains work, or whatever else crime that was busted around the city.

Wade would giggle and joke about you being some kinda freak as he ogled the pictures too, before turning his eyes to you once more. Wade hung around your place enough to almost live there himself. He had also bled through your couch multiple times, meaning you had to buy a new one semi-regularly.

You even ignored how hed jerk off on your couch when he though you slept, his noises only muffled by your jacket pressed against his face. Wade was pretty bad at hiding it at this point, with you walking into the living room to see him naked from the waist down, dead asleep with your jacket laid over his head. You had a thing for his suit too, so you never said anything. Plus, it did things to your ego…

It took a couple of months before you decided to be spiderman again, wanting to settle yourself before you got into the waves of it all. Plus, the usual spiderman rogues weren’t around in this universe, which meant you just went around dealing with different gangs or high rank criminals.

The X-men also got your help every now and then, even if you didn’t really count as a mutant, whatever that meant. You just knew you weren’t welcome to join their club. Something about you not being born with your powers, and not having the X-gene, meaning you weren’t technically a mutant. Colossus still invited you over for their grill evenings on Fridays though.

What you and Wade had couldn’t be called a relationship or sorts. You guys didn’t kiss, but he jerked off on your couch huffing your scent and licking the leather of your jacket, and you acted like he didn’t. at some point you even started doing the same with his suit, using the leather to jerk your cock and spilling against the insides.

Over time you both grew more confident, or sloppy depending on who you asked. You both stopped cleaning up your messes, leaving your spend all over the others things, meaning you both had to go around carrying the others scent when the mission called for you in a hurry. Logan always looked downright sick when he caught the scent, his nose scrunched up at the hormones wafting off you both.

This kept up for a longer period of time, with neither of you saying anything. Instead just marking the others things in your spend, hell, you had even rutted together on a rooftop, blaming it on “adrenaline of the mission”. The sound of the leather of your jacket and his suit only made it so much hotter, Wades hands grasping at your hips to pull you against him, voice warbly and high pitched from his excitement.

The one time opened the floodgates. That’s when you learned Wade really loved kisses, he especially loved when you kissed him like he wanted to devour him. Wades mouth was always so sloppy when you kissed, his tongue desperately curling around your own as he groaned and gurgled, his hands running up and down your back with need.

He was always so hot, ready for everything you may offer him. Wade had even started opening himself up and finding a red plug to slide home, ready for the moment you decided to fuck him. Of course, he was most excited when the time came and you bent him over some metal storage container in a warehouse, after your latest shared mission.

Wade was shaking in sheer excitement as you rucked his suit down just enough to free his ass, the mutant mercenary giggling and cooing as he waved his hips from side to side. Looking back at you, Wade was ready to finish right then and there, as he watched you open your suit up just enough to free yourself.

He didn’t even get to make a joke about how he plugged himself up for you, your usual patience running out faster than Wade ran his mouth. God, he loved how hard you fucked him, sing that super strength of yours to leave him feeling raw and used in the best way, Wade louder in the bedroom than he was normally, meaning he was almost howling and wailing with want and need.

His words were a slurred mix of begs for more, and some other mashed together comment about how the readers must love this, and how the author sucked at writing dialogue. Like always, you had no idea what he was talking about, instead just putting your hips into it and fucking him harder like he so clearly wanted.

Being a spider variant meant you had little rest period between orgasms, and you had a lot more energy than Wade. Being as backed up as you were, you also just kept fucking him until Wade was almost limp in your arms, his mask finally off his scarred tear and drool-stained face as he tried and failed to beg for more.

Wades cum was sprayed all over the floor and container hed been bent over, pathetic thin spurts shooting out of his tip as you lifted him like he weighed nothing, moving him like a ragdoll as his voice went raspy from all his moaning.

He was kinda cute like this, so fucked out he struggled to form a single thought or word. Especially when he rubbed his face into your jacket, which you had taken off and laid under his head as a pillow. It was only when there truly was nothing more to milk out of him that you decided it was enough and pulled out, cleaning Wade up to the best of your ability.

It was easy to lift him bridal style, letting Wade nuzzle against you and duck his head under your chin. Youd even put your jacket on him, just so he felt some extra safety as you somehow swung you two back to your apartment. You sure hoped none of the X-men had to check out the warehouse later on, it would be hard to live that down…

[froggibus]

i’m begging you for some nsfw hcs with wade & logan

i NEED more info about jealous sex with them specifically

please and thank you 💋💋

Jealousy Sex - Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson

Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader (no pronouns are used but has a pussy) x Wade Wilson

Genre: smut/nsfw

CW: poly! relationship, jealousy, possession, scent kink/scenting, taunting & humiliation, oral, double penetration, unprotected sex, creampie, AFTERCARE

omg of course!! the two of them being jealous over you would be such a handful >~< id love to write a full length of this sometime too!! thank you for the request lovely 💓

these two are such a handful when they’re jealous

Logan has no patience for other men getting in your personal space

if some other guy is talking to you too long or starting to get a little too close

he comes and stands behind you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your neck

he’ll make a big show of it too, sucking at your skin and breathing in your scent

“d’ya smell that? hm?”

you scrunch your eyebrows together, wondering what’s about to come

“that’s my scent. mine. all fuckin’ over ya.”

he’s dragging you upstairs to the nearest locked bedroom before you can even react

sex with him while he’s jealous can go either way depending on just how riled up he is

sometimes it’s deep and intimate, going until you’ve forgotten the rest of the world

or it’s rough and hard and biting, until your head is spinning and his name is the only thing you can remember

he’ll have you face down in the pillows, his grip on your hips so tight you swear he’s using his claws

his cock bullies so deep inside of you that tears form in your eyes and you have to wind your hands into the sheets to keep from screaming

and once you throw Wade into the mix…

Wade does NOT get jealous easily & even if he does, he just jokes it off

it would take a lot to get him going & god help you if he does

he’ll swoop in when someone’s hitting on you and press himself in real close

not nearly as showy as Logan but he’ll make real good eye contact with them and call them out for it

“i know i know” he’ll kiss the side of your head. “so fuckable, right?“

he’ll have you propped on the counter of the nearest bathroom, his face stuffed between your legs in an instant

he’s holding your legs open with ease & relentlessly licking your poor, overstimulated clit

every time you try to shuffle away or close your legs he’s pushing them further apart

“ahahah, not yet baby. if you can still move then I haven’t done my job right.”

when they’re together & jealous?? you’re not leaving that room for hours and they’re going to fucking ruin you

they’ll have you whining and overstimulated long before either of them slip inside of you

they take turns over who gets to eat you out, the other holding your legs open and mumbling a tantalizing mix of praise and degradation in your ears

they’re both dirty talk kings

by the time Logan slips his cock through your folds, your legs are already shaking

you’re moaning so damn loud that Wade has to shove his cock in your mouth to keep the people at the party from hearing

the two of them can go for hours thanks to their regeneration and if you think you’re getting out anytime before that…

once you’re nice and fucked out in Logan’s arms, Wade’s sliding his cock inside of you and then they’re both fucking you

they get SO caught up in the moment trying to one up each other too—the only thing they can agree upon is that you’re theirs

when the night is over, you’ll be stuffed to the brim with cum and half-conscious, fucked out on the bed

they’ll clean you up nice and good though

Wade is the best ever at aftercare, he’ll always have water and a warm cloth for you (or in this case, a tshirt he stole from the closet)

meanwhile Logan will massage your aching muscles and shaking limbs, kissing your feverish skin

masterlist | marvel masterlist

if you enjoy content like this, interactions go a long way! i appreciate every like, comment & reblog i receive ^^

[eupheme]

Hello, first I wanna say I live for your post!

If your taking request could you do one where wade and Logan react to f!s/o having a symbiote. Please I would live for this one.

hi! Thank you!! 🥺💖 and I would love to give some ideas a shot! I brushed up on some symbiote lore (but apologies if this isn’t 100% accurate!) 💖 thanks so much for sending the is in!

LOGAN / WADE x SYMBIOTE!F!READER

With Logan, it’s revealed when you’re in danger. It’s not like you’re hiding it from him - you just don’t know how to bring up that you have an extraterrestrial parasite tied to you (even if you do have an understanding).

It curls around you, when a fight breaks out. Something automatic, smoothing over your skin - and it sends a jolt of panic through him. His hands at your jaw the second he gets you to safety (not knowing that you were always perfectly fine), eyes wild until your symbiote peels back from your face.

“It’s okay, Logan,” You coax - trying to explain. It takes him a while to understand. His brow pulled tight, eyes trailing down your suit. Only with your convincing, does he relent - claws retracting.

“It… protects you.” He manages, slowly. Eyes coming back up to meet yours, “And it’s still you. Underneath.”

You laugh then, “It’s always been me. It’s just us, too.”

The edges of his lips twitch, that sharp frown easing.

“…Alright.”

(He comes around quickly. The thought of your symbiote being there to help keep an eye on you - keep you safe - is a comfort.)

With Wade, he walks into it. He’s sneaky that way, quiet when he wants to. Curious about the voices - your early-morning murmuring.

A startled yelp when he sees you - the suit and the eyes and the tongue - only for it to half-slip from your face, as your hands raise.

“Wait, Wade! It’s me.”

You try to explain your situation. He’s quick to follow, a glance to the side and a comment about how he’s ‘always been a fan of symbrock’.

“She’s gonna have to start paying rent. You know that, right?” Wade deadpans, and your eyes roll. A second, before his head cocks to the side, “And wait - does this mean I’m dating both of you now?”

There’s a murmur in your head, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you hold back a smile, “She says you’ll just have to see. Not sure if you can keep up.”

His head tips back with a groan, “God, I love a challenge. I can so work with that.”

You do laugh then - a beat, before your voice softens, “You’re not freaked out?”

“Baby girl, are you seriously asking me that right now? This is the coolest fucking thing, like, ever-”

(and he is fucking dying to ask “any chance you wanna show me what that tongue can do” but he IS a gentleman, so he’ll at least wait until the next time you’re ‘spending time’ together. Or in five minutes, whichever comes first.)

[titaswrld]

deadpool!

….as your boyfriend.

description: deadpool as your boyfriend!

pairing: deadpool x you!

contains: 18+, mentions of sex!

|an: just saw deadpool & wolverine.. couldn’t help myself.

- awful with emotions but always finds a way to make up for things whether through humor or sex.

- speaking of humor you’re never not laughing with him, or bickering, or fucking

- you’re the only person he can actually feel vulnerable and comfortable with, he cherishes that and he loves you so much for that.

- you’re his person, he would genuinely kill for you if it meant he would lose someone so important in his life.

- if someone makes you sad, mad or uncomfortable ooo…not his babygirl.

- he usually doesn’t keep people or friends in his loop often, they could find him annoying or over the top but not you.

- you love absolutely everything about him, his outlandish humor, his extroverted personality, his big ol’ mouth. you think it’s so hot.

- so hot when he’s mean to you so hot when he’s soft with you

- you literally bicker like two teenage girls all the time and he always somehow clocks your tea it’s ridiculous but you also find it impressive that he always has something to say that you cannot come back from😭

- god you need to pray that no man ever even has the thought of coming on to you… he’ll experience some banter with your boyfriend before it’s lights out.

- not only are you his but he’s yours! he’s super loyal and if he can’t get someone to back off , you sure will!

- you’re always having fun with him date nights are some of the best times of your life, he always finds a way to entertain you no matter what you’re doing.

- always gotta hand somewhere, your ass, a singular cheek, a titty, somewhere. how could you expect him not to! you’re all his.

- you literally have him wrapped around your finger, he’d do absolutely anything for you.

- also always bullying you he is so straightforward😭

“hon that has got to be the ugliest shirt i’ve ever seen on you”

“wade-“

“i know you got better in that closet that i snoop through and try on all your clothes when you aren’t home now go!”

- he’s so tall so if you’re short oh wow…you’re never catching a break

“soooo how’s the weather down there.” wade said, placing his elbow on the crown of your head.

“prick…”

…

“yeah that’s enough of that dirty mouth!” your boyfriend had announced before bending down and wrapping an arm around your behind, throwing you over his shoulder and positioning his palm on your ass.

“god, wade put me down!” you’d laughed playfully hitting his back.

“don’t make me have to spank you!” he said, lighting pinching your ass.

- do not get an animal bc it will quickly become his center of attention and he will defend it over you.

“wade, we’re having my mom over please put it in the room”

“ugh…she’s so mean isn’t she sugar?” he’d said stroking your pet, followed by a “yes she is yes she is!” as the animal licked his face.

sigh.

- good lord we got a cuddle monster on our hands!

- absolutely adores any type of affection and practically begs you for it 24/7. he loves being little spoon specifically. also loves it when u scratch or message his back, bc that also gets him going..

- speaking of, you got this guy rock solid 24/7

“hungry for seconds?” he joked, hugging you from behind and pressing his hardened cock against your ass.

“we literally jus-“ you’d started just to be interrupted mid sentence.

“so! cmon baby throw a dog a bone.” he muttered, hand already gripping your inner thigh.

you’d sighed, god you can’t resist him.

- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing he finds anything you do hot i stg

- a M-U-N-C-H! for life, literally came in his pants from eating you out once! he loves making you feel good.

- a goofball during sex he cannot do shit seriously😭 he be talking you and your pussy thru it!

- again, if you’re petite god help you bc he is large.

- babe, you better match his freak because yall doing anything.

- trying a new thing every night multiple times bc that sex is never vanilla and that dick is never tired! at some point he’s just making positions up😭

[nocek]

Wade doesn't realize how very, very, VERY task oriented Miguel is (and absolutely not jealous about Logan's claws size) ;P