#deadpool reader

[elizzsush]

Deadpool coded reader:

Reader: dramatically and sadly, “Day 925, the bats show no sign of releasing me- a totally normal and amazing citizen from this prison.”

Reader; “he has left the second scariest Robin to guard me, Jason.”

Red hood: a little offended; “Second?”

Reader: shuttering looking like she’s reliving something, “Damien is like a angry dog, he bites.”

Reader: “also is this lega- and he walked away. Hey! I want to speak to a lawyer!!”

Reader: now yelling “I have rights!!! I think- do you have rights in Gotham?”

_______________

Batman: finally shows up.

Reader: “hey It’s You! You know if I head a penny for a rich completely normal guy who is the center of a multi million  franchise of hero’s- while also being a hero himself through the means of money… well Id have two pennies!”

Dick: “what…?”

[fandomnerd9602]

Scarlet and Black

Wanda Maximoff x Deadpool!Reader

Based this Request by @sweetheartlizzie07

Please a story of multiverse of madness Wanda x Deadpool male!reader? And Deadpool male!reader is a very important member of illuminati and avengers? This takes place the whole illuminati thing and when (scarlet witch) Wanda came (nobody dies), (scarlet witch) Wanda is surprised in a good way that Deadpool male!reader happens to be the father of billy and Tommy. Deadpool male gently tells (scarlet witch) Wanda to let go of his wife Wanda

There she was, the Scarlet Witch, having hijacked the body of this universe’s Wanda Maximoff in a bid to get America Chavez.

She can and would rip through all of reality of it would get her boys back into her arms.

And so that led her to right here, covered in motor oil, eyes burning fiercely, and standing in front of the Illuminati.

The one you know as Reed was trying to say tell Wanda something about his own children

“Is there mother still alive?” She asks rather coldly.

“Yes” the genius you had called friend and at certain times Jim Halpert, answered.

“Good. Then there will be someone left to raise them” Wanda responded almost robotically.

“Sheesh! Witchiepoo, you’re so dark!” You call out from the elevator as you return from a solo mission clad in your classic Deadpool red and black attire. “Are you sure you’re not from the Snyderverse!”

Wanda immediately turns her attention to you. “Who are you?”

“The question, my spicy little taquito, is who are you and why have you taken over the body of one hot MILF?”

You look to Reed. “Go home to your Emily Blunt looking wife now, Jack Ryan. This is a lover’s quarrel”

The rest of the Illuminati left. Peggy gave you a pat on the back.

“You do not know who you are messing with” the Scarlet Witch spits out, “I am the Scarlet Witch”

Despite your tenacity for bad jokes, you were gonna have this resolve without a repeat of the X-Force incident. “The Scarlet Witch? Baby I thought we agreed to never use our bedroom names in—“

She hoisted you up into the air with a burst of her scarlet red chaos magic. “You talk too much!”

“I get that a lot” you strain to say, “by the way - hot, sweaty, wearing yoga pants and covered in motor oil? Hot. Are you sure today’s not International Women’s Day?”

She bent one of your hands completely backwards.

“Ah! That was my favorite hand!”

She broke your other hand, your first hand quickly regenerated.

“Wanda, please!” You found yourself begging, and not in the fun way, “don’t do this”

“I could pop your head like a grape” she intoned.

“The look of hate in your eyes…if my life wasn’t being totally threatened right now, I’d be so turned on…oh let’s face it. Everything you do turns me on”

The Scarlet Witch began crushing your entire body with her magic. “Why won’t you die?!”

“W-Wanda please don’t do this!”

“And why not?!”

“Because Billy and Tommy will miss their Papa!” You answered as you felt so many bones within you shatter.

Immediately Wanda’s eyes shot open, she dropped you to the ground, a broken mess.

“Ow. Well not the first time you left me a boneless mess. But last time was a lot more fun” you tried to joke as your bones slowly reassembled.

“Who are you? Really?” The angry witch came storming up to you.

“I’m your husband. Well on this world. Multiverse is so confusing” Wanda didn’t hear that last part, only the word husband.

“W-What?” She took a surprised step back.

“I know that’s what I say every time I wake up next to my Wanda. How the hell she ended up with a guy like me? Some divine conspiracy…or tumblr request”

The Scarlet Witch found herself kneeling before you, coming eye to eye with you. She tenderly took a hold of your mask and lifted it off, leaving your eyes looking into hers.

“Hi” was all you could say with a little smile. “I know…I’m not Hugh Jackman.”

She saw your face only briefly in the photos hung on the walls of your home. The ones of hers and yours wedding. Billy and Tommy’s birth and following birthdays.

Her fingers began tracing over your scarred face. Every surface, almost like she was tracing it to memory and also was memory.

“You’re real?” She began to tear up a little.

“About as real as Ryan Reynolds doing a musical based on a Christmas Carol. It really happened look it up.”

You gently take Wanda’s face in your gloves hands, “look here Sabrina the Emo Witch, you now know what I look like. You can find me on your word and go the long route to your life with me and our boys. Y-You can’t grab Billy and Tommy from elsewhere.”

The Scarlet Witch took your words to heart.

“Besides, I saw Agatha all Along and Billy is currently still in Westview.” You shrug.

“What?!”

“Yeah he’s in the body of some kid named Billy Kaplan. Soul switch thing, totally ripping off the Steve Trevor thing from Wonder Woman 1984”

“I-I have to…” she tries to think of what to say. You hold her cheek tenderly.

“Go Witchiepoo, go to him” you tenderly cheer her on. “And please give me my wife back. Because I am so turned on right now and I want my cuddly witch back”

Wanda’s eyes fluttered and convulsed briefly before she turned to you, confused. “Y-Y/N? Where am I?”

“My Little Witch! Baby!!” You exclaim before kissing her repeatedly.

“Why are we at the Illuminati headquarters?”

“Let’s just say you got possessed by yourself. But like a way meaner version”

Wanda shakes her head, “m-my legs feel weak”

You pick her up tenderly, “I know baby, your friendly neighborhood Pool guy has got you. And I’m never letting you go”

You kiss her tenderly and carry her out of the headquarters.

Doctor Strange and Chavez could only look on in confusion. “Was that superhero dressed like a gimp?!” Chavez asked rather confused.

“His face looked like the topographical map of Utah!” Strange exclaimed.

Tags: @lifespectator @supercorpdanbeau @sweetheartlizzie07 @scarletquake-n7 @iiconicsfan25 @idkwhatever580 @pinklawyerwinnerzonk @ma1egamer @dudesweet17 @texaswolf23

[serxinns]

Yandere Older class 1a x Deadpool reader

You were a goofy sarcastic playful hero who always made jokes while brutally punching villains in the face while doing wacky and wild stuff saying the most unhinged stuff with a smile on your face and your Fans and Most pro heroes love that about you

Iida was always with you not because you were dead gorgeous and your fighting skills were amazing but because he's worried about you! You pulling these dangerous stunts makes him have a heart attack whenever he peacefully wants to see the news he sees you teasing and taunting a very dangerous and very deadly villian riling them up to the point where they just slash at anything to get you to stop your yapping, next thing you know he's grabbing his hero suit and running over there right now he always scold you for being u safe while you just either laugh it off do those cringey "I'm sowwy🥺" look iida pretends to be cringe out about but deep down he thinks your pouty face and puppy eyes are cute,

Bonus: both you and Iida's fans agree that Iida was the Dad friend and make those complications video of him being one

Bakugo wants you to depend on him and look up to him he always wants you to be by his side whenever you work with him, but you being a little shit makes his job way harder, you always making fun little jokes and uncanny comedic lines while the two of you are literally in a life and death situation while you're just singing nursery rhymes, He always yells at you to be serious and all you did was say "uh oh cranky pants need a sippy cup?" He chased you around that day and seeing that cute little cheeky face of yours made him blush he always acts like he doesn't wanna work with you but in truth, he stalks your schedule and demands his agency to work close to yours but he won't admit that even the fans kinda see that he cares for you and loved you and himself dynamic

Momo is the worried mother if you ever get hurt by a nasty villain she's beating that villain to a pulp heck even making the dude see the clouds, she always is very protective of you like a mother hen making sure you eat, sleep brush your teeth she always tell you to while you whined like a child, if you didn't bring your lunch don't worry she brought a little bento box for you!, whenever your merch comes out or before she's always the 1st one to get it. She even has a room dedicated to it (just like Izuku but we'll get to him) literally she and Izuku would have a battle about who got the rarest merch and expensive merch

Ochako is like your number 1 biggest fan she always knows your schedule as well so she can either watch you from afar and if you needed any help she'll be there to kick their asses!, she's like Pucca (if you know the childhood show congrats) she always watching you dreamily eyes fluttering but strong and dangerous if anyone messes with you, she's is always in her dream world imagining carrying you like a little princess and she's the knight although she's also ok with you holding her like that as well both ways make her blush and giggles and kicking her feet while floating up, she makes fanfiction of you x reader or her under a fake username ofc so she can write down all her fantasies (some of your classmates would follow that page secretly) she keeps an oversized merch t-shirt that you wrote an autograph

While Izuku may be all Might's number one fan who said he can't be yours as well? Like this dude knows it all has 4-6 pages of you, your quirk, your weapons, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your family, your address-, you name it! He doesn't even need to write down your schedule since he remembers it so easily dude has a great memory there's no denying it, whenever his fans scream all over him wondering what's his favorite hero everyone is so surprised when he mutters out you heck he's shy whenever he talks to you your his idol his darling his sweetie standing in front of him happily making jokes and laughing along or badass shooting and slashing any bad guys, as mentioned in mom's headcanon this boy got a WHOLE ROOM dedicated to you heck one time you jokingly put a dick shape drawing when he asked to Have a autograph he bought a photo case for that and put it on display like he's PROUD

Sero and Denki were your go-to when wanting to cause trouble and Crack some jokes heck all even flirt with each other trying to see who gets the most flustered denki craves whatever attention you give him whether trying to annoy him or not he loves it when you eyes are on him he may act like a carefree person who jokes with you but he's a possessive dude he glares at your fangirls from afar when they're squealing all over you trying to get a autograph calling you hot that made his blood boil that he had to intervene by saying there's a villain waving goodbye at the girls while their squealing got louder seeing Denki but Denki glared at them Sero is the calmer one but is Obsessive he loves everything about you whenever your close to him on the outside he as cool as a cat but inside he's dying screaming on the inside just wanting to hold you close he always ask for any sort of physical interaction like high fives, hugs, he even remembered you patting him on the back praising him for wrapping up the villains luckily someone recorded it and now he saves that in his phone watching it repeatedly over and over again also he keeps those spiderman x Deadpool comics

Jirou and Kiri are like Sero but she acts more like a soft tsundere while Kiri acts like a love-sick puppy following you around and worshipping you head to toe. She acts cool and tough around you but if you compliment her she turns red and hits you to shut up just like Izuku she's too shy to speak to you and always lets you do the talking while she doesn't pay attention just hearing your voice makes her trapped in a dazed smiling dreamily she just couldn't help it You were so adorable even under that mask she wants to cup her hands on your cheeks and give you the biggest kisses leaving you a hot flushed mess kiri on the other hand worships you like a God, he always rants to his friend teru about you and even works together with bakugo at times talking to him about you the two of them will rant on about how cool you are (mostly Him and bakugo just listens) he will invite you to spar with him and if he ever accidentally hurts you he feels so bad and apologies to you even tho you didn't even show any anger or sadness but he thinks you do but all you did was laugh saying how strong he was making the number 4 hero blush and crumble right there he always used to complimenting you on your skills body and even your muscles but you complimenting him!? It's like a kid getting a gold star for their behavior! After sparing he always buys you his favorite drink which you teased him about while he looked annoyed with your teasing he actually likes it and when you promise to stop he mentally whines wanting you to do more!

[multi-fandom-enjoyer]

Could you write a Laura/X-23 x deadpool reader who helps her after a nightmare?

*Snikt!*

Laura wakes up from a nightmare with a roar, waking up a sleeping Y/n-Pool.

Y/n: Nightmare?

Laura: Yes...

The two sit up against the headboard, Laura leaning against the reader.

Y/n: What was it about?

Laura: We were back in the facility. Back when they were experimenting on us before the escape.

She pauses as she thinks about the nightmare and all the horrible memories they had from that facility. Y/n pulls her closer and says,

Y/n: It's alright, it's over now. They won't be able to harm us or anyone again.

After a short pause, Laura breaks the silence and asks,

Laura: Can we just lay like this for a while?

Y/n: I'd love to, but first... Could you please pull out?

She looks at you confused before realizing she stabbed you with her claws as she awoke. She pulls them out and allowing you to heal.

Laura: I'm sorry.

Y/n: It's alright, benefits of a healing factor.

[imk1ra]

Wade: Care to give a free sample to a pretty person?

Y/n, manning a bake sale and tired of their shit: Sure! You know one?

Wade:

Wade: Care to give a free sample to an ugly person?

[k-nayee]

Like Father, Like Hellspawn Deadpool i

wc: 3.6k a/n: soooo I got a little inspired by Eleanor Camacho aka (Earth-616) Deadpool's daughter 👉🏾👈🏾 hope ya likely☺️

Traveler M.List

| Next

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

You stand still in front of the memorial, arms crossed tightly over your chest, fingers digging into the thick red-and-black fabric of his suit. Well, not exactly.

It’s yours now; tailored to fit your frame, stitched up more times than you can count. But it’s identical to his in every way that matters.

The mask is already on, the lenses hiding your eyes, but you swear if you weren’t wearing it you’d probably look like a kicked puppy right now.

(Not the aesthetic you’re going for really.)

The room is quiet. Too quiet.

It’s the kind of silence that wraps around you like a weighted blanket, but instead of comfort it’s suffocating—pressing down and making it hard to breathe.

But then again maybe that’s just you.

Your gaze locks onto the suit hanging on the mannequin. A perfect, untouched replica of what you’re wearing now. The fabric is pristine, the colors vibrant, and the mask—God the mask—stares back at you, hollow and empty.

Just an empty shell meant to honor someone who used to be here but isn’t anymore. (Because he's dead. Duh.)

Your fingers tighten around the worn edges of his mask—your mask now. The piece that still smells like gunpowder and...is that a hint of chimichanga grease? You wouldn’t be surprised. The guy could find a way to snack in the middle of a fistfight.

It’s been years since you lost him.

Since your Wade Wilson—your father, your mentor, your occasional bad influence but with good intentions—left you behind in Earth-617.

A framed photo hangs above the suit. You know that image by heart: Your dad giving the camera a peace-sign in front of a completely unnecessary explosion, his mask pulled up just enough to show his stupid lopsided grin.

You’d snapped that picture yourself, back when things were still good. Back when he was still alive.

Your fingers twitch at your sides.

You never really stopped missing him. Even after taking up his mantle. Even after convincing the world that you were nothing more than a simple storeowner-slash-businesswoman, all while secretly doing what he did best—kicking ass and saying jokes at wildly inappropriate moments.

Hell you even had a thing going with Spider-Man for a while. Oh God. If your dad had been alive for that one...

You exhale, shaking your head at the thought. Wade would have been jealous, and not just in the “you stole my bro” kind of way.

No he’d be throwing a full-on tantrum because you—his own flesh and blood—got to go on date-night web swings and crime-fighting rendezvous with Spidey. He’d have demanded details.

You smile at that. A real one. The kind that doesn’t last long before reality sets back in.

Because Wade’s not here. He never will be. No matter how many mercenary gigs you take or how many people you save—there’s still that gaping hole inside of you where he used to be.

None of it filled the void.

Which is where the shiny, probably unstable, possibly explodey Dimensional Warp Generator comes in. You look at the clunky questionably wired contraption humming behind you.

Its design is...questionable at best.

The thing looks like a cross between a busted washing machine and an overworked coffee maker, but according to the stolen blueprints it should technically work.

Hopefully.

Probably.

Maybe.

"Okay so best-case scenario: I step on, press the button and BAM—multiversal road trip baby!" You gesture dramatically, speaking to no one but the memorial and the ghost of your own questionable decisions. "Worst case scenario: I get turned into a fine red mist. Meat confetti if you will." You pause. "Or maybe I just end up in some dimension where everyone is a sentient toenail. Ew."

The mannequin doesn’t respond. Obviously.

You know it’s a gamble. A one-way trip. A ticket to somewhere, anywhere Wade Wilson is still breathing. The multiverse is full of infinite versions of him after all.

Maybe you’ll find one that never lost his healing factor.

Maybe you’ll find one who retired and opened a taco truck, living his best chimichanga-filled life.

Or maybe you’ll land in a world where he never had a kid at all...where he never even knew you existed.

Would that be worse?

You don’t know.

But what you do know is that standing here filled with 'what ifs' feels worse than any multiversal mishap could ever be.

So, you made your peace. You left instructions and planned for it all. Your family business? Taken care of. Your assets? Secured. Your people? Safe. You made sure of it before you even considered pushing this far.

Because if it works...

If it actually works...

You’ll see him again.

Not your Wade—no. He’s gone. But a Wade. 

You sigh, shaking your head as you let your fingers trail lightly over his display suit. It feels wrong that it’s here. Because Wade Wilson was never meant to be preserved like some historical artifact.

He was meant to be alive—chaotic, reckless, cracking wise even when everything was going to shit. So maybe...just maybe...if you find another version of him you can make sure he stays that way.

You don’t care about changing events. You don’t care about destiny or timelines or multiversal consequences. This isn’t about that. This is about you.

And what matters to you is that he exists somewhere. Somewhere you can see him again. Where you can hear his voice. Where you can fight side by side. Where you can...

You swallow hard.

Where you can patch up the hole in your chest just a little bit.

You roll your shoulders, exhaling a slow breath through your mask. Then, because old habits die hard, you give the photo on the wall a lazy finger gun. "Well Dad...guess I’m about to make the most irresponsible decision of my career. You’d be so proud."

Then, because you have to, because it wouldn't be right not to, turn to the mannequin and slap its ass.

"Good game," you say, nodding in solemn approval.

The silence that follows is deafening.

Right. Time to go.

You turn and walk toward the generator, boots thudding softly against the concrete floor. Your heartbeat picks up, an anxious drumbeat in your ears, but your hands stay steady as they hover over the big suspiciously red button.

This is it.

This is the moment.

With one last deep breath, you press down.

The machine roars to life. Lights flicker wildly, the air crackling with static. The world itself seems to shudder and twist at the edges of your vision.

"Geronimo motherfu—"

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

The world comes back in pieces.

For a second—maybe longer, maybe shorter—there's nothing. No sound, no sensation. Just empty darkness that wraps around you like a suffocating blanket.

Then suddenly—

Your body lurches forward as reality slams back into place.

A rush of cool air bites through your suit, your boots scrape against concrete, and the dull hum of a city fills your ears. The scent of exhaust, street food, and something vaguely unpleasant—sewage?—hits your nose.

You blink as you try to steady yourself.

The world is intact. Not torn apart, not an apocalyptic wasteland. Normal.

Which is...weird.

You were prepared for something worse. A wrong world maybe. Something out of sync, a reality where everything was twisted just enough to feel unnatural. But this? This just looks like...

Home.

Except it isn’t.

Your muscles stay tense, fingers twitching slightly at your sides. The city looks familiar—too familiar. A near-identical match to the one you left behind, yet it isn’t yours. You can feel it deep in your bones, the way the air hums just a little differently.

You’re here....wherever here is.

A flicker of movement catches your eye. You turn your head slightly, noticing the large glass windows of a bank to your right. The reflection stares back at you.

Red and black.

The Deadpool suit—your suit—fits snug against your body, every stitch and fold in place. A mirror image of the one your father used to wear save for the minor adjustments that made it yours.

Then—

REEEEEEEEEEE

A sharp shrill alarm slices through the air, shattering the illusion of calm like a bullet through glass. Your head snaps to the source—the bank's heavy doors swing open as men in ski masks stumble out, their arms weighed down with overstuffed duffel bags.

You blink.

Oh. Well that’s convenient.

Their frantic adrenaline-fueled energy shifts the second they see you. They freeze, eyes widening beneath their masks. You can practically hear their thoughts scrambling like rats in a sinking ship.

They stare.

You stare back.

For a long awkward beat nobody moves.

Then one of them shouts something—probably a curse—his wide eyes locked onto you like he’s just seen a ghost. The others panic, some reaching for weapons, some just freezing like deer in headlights.

But then their eyes actually see you. The curves..the way your body fills out the suit differently.

"Oh shit wait...it’s a chick."

The tension visibly loosens. The men relax, confusion overriding fear, realization settling in. You can feel the shift in the air.

You tilt your head. "Wow. Sexism and crime? Y’all are multitaskers—love that. But hey before we go any further—uh...did any of you happen to rob a father figure along with that bank? Maybe a guy, about yay high, real talkative, looks like a diseased avocado? Asking for...me."

They don’t get the chance to answer.

The sharp screech of tires cuts through the moment. A police cruiser skids to a stop just feet away. Two officers leap out, hands on their guns, voices sharp. "Stop! Put your hands where I can see—"

You sigh dramatically. "You cops always ruin the moment. Like seriously, we were having a thing here. And now it’s all guns and arrest warrants."

They weren't listening. One of them reaches for his radio. “We’ve got a situation here down at the bank wit—”

BANG

A bullet tears through his skull before he can finish the sentence.

The second officer barely has time to react before a blade pierces her throat, slicing cleanly before you yank it free. She chokes, gurgles, then crumples like a puppet with its strings cut.

You wipe a bit of blood off your arm, flicking it onto the ground like it’s nothing more than an inconvenience.

Ugh. Police blood. The worst kind.

As you stand up, you hear a low rasp leaving the officer as blood pools out her mouth. "Deadpool..."

You perk up.

Bingo.

So he does exist here.

Your fingers flex, heart pounding as your mask hides the slow wicked grin stretching across your lips.

Well...

That makes things easier.

Before you could say another word—

More sirens. More cops, pulling up fast.

The robbers panicked. Shouts leave them as their loaded guns suddenly became shaky. They weren’t ready.

But you were.

The moment the cops the slammed open their doors with raised weapons you moved.

And oh did you move.

You weren’t just fast. You were precise.

Every step, every motion, every flick of your wrist was calculated. The first officer barely took a step before you immediately fired three shots—knee, shoulder, wrist.

Two other officers went down before their fingers even tightened on their triggers.

You pivoted low and swept a leg out—an officer hit the street, head cracking against concrete as you relieved him of his gun and smoothly tossed it into the air, catching it in a backward grip as you fired behind you—

BANG

Another officer. Another down.

They kept coming. You welcomed it.

The world blurred into sharp adrenaline-fueled focus. Bullets zipped past your head, but your body moved on its own, your enhanced cognition picking up details faster than they could react.

A cop adjusting her stance—she’s aiming for your ribs. A twitch of a finger—someone’s about to fire. A shift in balance—someone’s going for their radio.

Nope. No ma'am. Not today.

Your guns clicked empty. Doesn’t matter. You threw one with perfect accuracy—CRACK. It slammed into an officer’s temple knocking her out cold. The other?

You flipped in your grip, grabbed the barrel, and used it to bludgeon another into unconsciousness before spinning and delivering a brutal elbow to the last one standing.

A dozen officers. All neutralized in less than ninety seconds.

It was messy. It was brutal. It was quick.

And it was fun.

"Alright boys," You turn back to the robbers, a new glint in your eyes as you sheath your katana and gun. "Change of plans. I was gonna spend the next however-many-months hunting my old man down, but honestly? That sounds exhausting. So instead—" You throw an arm around the nearest criminal, pulling him in. "—how ‘bout I just do crimes until he finds me?"

They exchange hesitant glances.

You can see the skepticism. The weighing of pros and cons. The uncertainty of letting some Deadpool knockoff join their ranks.

Then you sigh and make the decision for them.

With an almost lazy kind of efficiency, you move—disarming, subduing, killing one just for fun. Within seconds the ones left standing know better than to say no.

"Okay okay you can join!" he wheezes, clutching his newly dislocated shoulder. "Damn lady what’s your deal?! You tryna be Deadpool’s copycat or something?"

You grin beneath your mask.

"Oh honey," you coo, "I'm so much worse."

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

Turns out they weren’t just bank robbers.

This wasn’t just a handful of small-time criminals looking for a quick payday—it was an entire crime organization clawing its way up the underworld ranks.

And with you in their arsenal, business was booming.

Crime sprees ran rampant. It wasn’t long before your exploits—masked, bloodstained, and unapologetically violent—became the subject of city-wide gossip.

Tabloids screamed about Deadpool’s sudden change.

You loved it.

Scrolling through online gossip forums was your new favorite pastime, watching people spiral into conspiracy theories:

"DEADPOOL MIND-CONTROLLED?"

"DEADPOOL GOING THROUGH HIS VILLAIN ERA™️?"

"DEADPOOL TIRED OF THE HERO CHARADE?” Some people swore it wasn’t him—“DEADPOOL...SHORTER?!”

Others didn’t care. To the world you were Deadpool. You’d made sure of that, hiding your figure under a long trench coat, avoiding any direct combat with Wade’s team whenever they did get involved in your organization’s little...projects.

You were a ghost. A rumor. A nightmare with guns.

And Wade? He was pissed.

You’d seen the interviews, the tirades he’d gone on during what should’ve been simple bounty jobs. Wade Wilson, the Deadpool, losing his shit on camera about some asshole using his name and ruining his “hard-earned” reputation.

(As if he ever fixed it in the first place? Please.)

You laughed every time. It was almost too easy.

Shame you couldn't use your own phone to watch it all—unable to connect to this world’s satellites (frequency issues, because of course) so you had to acquire other means. Luckily criminals have great taste in stolen electronics.

Speaking of criminals, seems you’d made yourself too valuable to the organization to get thrown out. The boss—a greasy smooth-talking bastard named Salvatore "Sal" DeLuca—liked results, and you brought them.

But there was one rule you made clear the moment you took the job: Nobody mentions your gender.

And if they ever had to refer to you, they called you Deadpool.

Sal agreed without hesitation. He was good at playing the long game and you were the biggest wildcard he had in his deck. His men though? They whispered....wondered.

But the rule was ironclad; if they let slip that Deadpool was anything other than what you projected—they disappeared. Simple as that.

And so, for three months, it worked.

Until her.

You’d been watching her for some time.

A new recruit—quiet, kept to herself. Didn’t quite fit the mold of a career criminal.

You noticed her immediately.

Maybe it was the way she held herself, too rigid and restrained. Maybe it was the way she avoided eye contact when people talked about bigger plans. Or maybe it was just instinct.

So you bugged her. Literally. Tiny discreet surveillance planted in her things, her living space, her routine. And what do you know?

You were right. She was a full-blown informant. A mole who worked for the police.

Correction: she worked for Wade’s team. And her name was Yukio.

You could’ve exposed her. You could've warned Sal. But you didn’t. Because this?

This was what you’d been waiting for.

.*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.*

A deal.

A simple trade-off of drugs, weapons, and money. The usual.

The warehouse was dimly lit, the air thick with cigarette smoke and the sharp tang of cheap cologne. Low voices murmured across the space from dealers to the occasional trigger-happy lackey trying to prove himself.

You didn’t care.

Lounging lazily in a rickety chair nearby, your legs were kicked up up on a table littered with money and gun magazines, eyes glued to your real priority: beating the final boss in Pokémon.

The Nintendo 3DS glowed faintly in your hands. (You’d robbed a nerd for this. He cried. It was great.) Its tiny speakers crackled with the upbeat jingle—stark and ridiculous contrast to the hard-edged criminals around you.

They often looked to you for some kind of assurance, that everything was going smoothly. But you weren’t their leader. You were just the guarantee.

The insurance that ensured the deal went well—because if it didn’t, nobody walked out.

And you were bored.

Yukio stood nearby, hands tucked into her sleeves with an unreadable expression. She was small and unassuming. Harmless to most eyes.

But not to you.

You knew what she was. Who she was. And that meant this deal wasn’t going to finish.

Just as you were about to land the final hit to the boss—

BOOM

The front doors detonated inward, a shockwave of dust and debris sweeping through the warehouse like a tidal wave.

The rival gang didn’t even have time to react.

Bullets ripped through them, splattering red against the walls before most even reached for their weapons. The few that did weren’t fast enough—a streak of yellow and black tore through their ranks like a living razor blade.

Logan.

The Wolverine’s claws sang through the air, slicing through flesh and bone with gruesome efficiency. A man screamed was cut short as his head separated cleanly from his shoulders and rolled to the floor with a wet thud.

Yukio moved the second the attack began.

One moment she was among your men. The next her hand sparked with electricity and she tore into them like a ghost of lightning.

The criminals you had worked beside for months were dying.

And you?

You didn’t move.

In fact you barely heard the scrambling panic around you. Your grip on the 3DS went slack, it tumbled to the ground, clattering loudly. You didn’t even notice.

Because he was here.

Deadpool...

Your father

He stood there at the center of the chaos; twin pistols raised, blades strapped to his back, mask tilted just slightly in that familiar cocky way.

The exact same mask as yours.

Your pulse spiked. You should’ve done something—anything—but you couldn’t move.

The mask...the stance....the voice.

God the voice.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Wade bellowed as he shot through a particularly unlucky gangster. “For years—YEARS—I have been trying become a better, CLASSY respectable mercenary!!”

(He absolutely did not.)

“Yet somehow, someway some ASSHOLE decides to drag my name through blood-soaked crime-encrusted filth like we’re in some goddamn GTA roleplay server?!” His arms flailed wildly as he stomped forward, stepping over a twitching half-dead body without a second glance.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DEATH THREATS I’VE GOTTEN THIS WEEK?!”

(As if that wasn’t normal for him.)

Everything around you had blurred at this point. The violence didn’t matter. The screaming didn’t matter. The years of grief and loss and loneliness—

None of it mattered.

“—and what really gets me—truly grinds my gears—is that some DICKHEAD is using my likeness to make me look bad when I’ve worked so hard to be good! I HAVE A BRAND TO UPHOLD!”

Sal was hissing something at you to snap you out of it. Hell all of the men in the entire organization were looking at you. Because for the first time in three months, you weren’t moving.

“WELL??” Deadpool’s rant came to an abrupt end as he threw his arms out. “What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Silence.

Then—

You stood up.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

The chair scraped against the concrete floor as you pushed away from it, the tension so thick it could suffocate.

Your hands came together and you began clapping.

One slow clap.

Another.

Then faster until it built into an exaggerated standing ovation. "Wow." Your voice dripped with emotion. "I..am speechless. A performance worthy of the Oscars really. I truly have no words except—"

Before anyone could react, you drew both guns in a single fluid motion and opened fire.

BANG

The first gunshot took Sal’s head clean off. His body was still standing, nerves firing uselessly even as his brain matter sprayed across the crates behind him.

BANG BANG BANG

Bullets fly and bodies drop.

The remaining rival gang? Erased.

Your so-called allies? Wiped off the map.

Some ducked for cover. Some tried to run. None of them made it far. You moved through them like a force of nature; spinning between targets, every shot landing with surgical precision.

Deadpool’s team flinched. For a split second they genuinely believed you were about to shoot at them.

Instead?

You erased every last member of the organization—the very one you had helped build up for weeks—in a perfectly executed, single-handed massacre.

The only sound left was the ringing echo of gunfire.

Your guns clicked as you brought the smoking barrels to your face to inhale the scent like it was oxygen. "Oh yeah, that's the good stuff..."

Finally holstering your weapons, you turned to Deadpool with a grin beneath your mask. A mask that was a perfect mirror image of his.

You practically bounced over to him as casual as someone greeting an old friend.

Then, in the most cheerful, sing-song voice imaginable, you threw your hands up your hands like a child and chirped—

"HI DADDY!!"

[animekpopsimp]

Pro Heros with a Deadpool Reader (platonic)

How do the Pros deal with a student who's similar to Deadpool.

Aizawa

You're most likely in class 1A, which means you're one of the many problem children Aizawa has to deal with every day

You can be even more of a problem due to your quirk

Given that you can regenerate, you often act reckless, stressing your teacher out

Combined with your snarky and carefree attitude, you often give your teacher a headache from trying to keep you out of trouble

Aizawa also finds your sense of humor off putting and wishes you would keep it to yourself during class

However, he also knows that you're a good person deep down

Because of that, he pushes you to do your best

He just wishes you would stop being so reckless all the time

All Might

He doesn't deal with you as often as Aizawa does

But when he is responsible for class 1A, he swears you're going to give him a heart attack

He hates how reckless you act, with no regard to if you get hurt or not

Sure, you can regenerate, but he still doesn't want you to throw yourself in harm's way

He tries to convince you to be more cautious, but you never listen

All Might also tries to get you to tone down your language but he quickly learns that it's no use

Midnight

Midnight does find your personality funny on occasion

But she doesn't like when you put yourself in danger

Yes, you can regenerate but as a teacher, she doesn't want you getting hurt regardless

Midnight does admire your confidence though

Your sense of humor however, is a bit off putting to her since you're so young

Hawks

To say Hawks was caught off guard by both your personality and lack of fear

You often throw yourself into danger without any regard for your safety

When he sees you get injured to the pony where it would kill you, he panics

That's when he learns about your quirk

Seeing you regenerate and survive what should have been fatal, he doesn't know what to make of it

He is relieved to see you alive though

Getting to know you, he's surprised by your personality

You're bold and always taunt your enemies, not afraid of dying since you really can't

He thinks you're a good kid and wants you to be safe

[lixiesbrowniess]

I have this in my drafts, what do you girlies say??? 🎀

I read this by @obsessedwrhys and damnnnnn

wanna know if it's okay, I write it?? I mean as a drabble I think or shor fic

[murderofravens]

worst wolverine x younger!deadpool reader.. but make it the honda odyssey scene 🤫

[platinumrosetail]

Ennead x female reader (I mean the version of Horus, Seth and Anubis)

Hello, I would like something similar to other requests of yours that I have read, a female reader who is the older sister of Horus and Anubis. But with a personality a little similar to that of Deadpool, fun and dangerous. With a somewhat tsundere Seth, and I would like Osiris as a villain please...

Ok 👍 i asked if they wanted seth to be a yandere and they decided to let me choose so seth will be yandere lol, anyway on with the reaquest shall we?

character: seth.

warning: noob author, female reader, yandere character, and others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

before osiris was killed by his little brother; god of war and desert, seth, osiris and isis had a child, a daughter named (Y/n) the daughter.

the daughter grew up to be quite vulgar and chaotic; isis thought that it was because (Y/n) was spending too much time with seth so she and her daughter went on a little trip together to help (Y/n) get rid of the wild side that shehas.

while those two were gone seth killed osiris after some things was revealed to him that made him angry. isis and (Y/n) got back and seth demanded that (Y/n) to be his wife (i believe (Y/n) would be an adult here now) but isis refused and hid (Y/n) away from seth.

after the temporary revival of osiris and the birth of horus, the three now hid from seth as he rages through Egypt looking for isis and (Y/n).

after many years it was finally time for your mom to take the throne and give it to one of you, you liked the thought of being queen of egypt so you went with it.

when the competition came up your mother chose horus to represent you both even though you could fight on your own especially with your power of regeneration so you whined to your mother about and she relented.

and so now you and seth are fighting in the competition, you kept on teasing him and being your normal self which flustered him which surprisingly helped you win with how distracted he got. when osiris was cornering seth you had intervened sayning you had reasons to hate your father as you knew what seth had been through so you will help seth in staying away from osiris and once you're queen you'll be able to do more to help, which flustered him and said that he doesn't need your help but you were presistent.

Horus:

Horus as a child looked up to you since he was born but as he grew up and was able to break the curse that has him as a child but as he grew up he starts to realize how reckless you were especially since you can regenerate.

Horus soon began to try and protect you and keep you from being reckless like you are though that is usually hard to do considering your wild and dangerous personality that you have.

You think that your brother trying to get you to stop being reckless is adorable but you like your personality so you don’t change plus it helps him stay on his toes especially if he’s supposed to be taking Seth down.

When it was time for the trial against Horus legitimacy and you as rightful heir to Egypt’s thrown Seth had wanted to prove that he is rightfully supposed to be king and wants you as his queen Horus by making a competition against both him and Horus.

Horus agreed and then came the competition with Horus winning in the end afterwards the punishment of Seth having to atone his sins against many humans for the time he was king.

You on the other hand did what you wanted in the in between of the trials, competition and after that he tries to keep you near him but you keep on escaping his grasps.

Horus isn’t interested in Hathor at all as he only has interest in you and he makes that known to both of your mother that he isn’t interested in Hathor. Horus doesn’t trust his father as he sees how he looked at you like you were a pawn to something when he showed up during the trial against him and Seth so he also will need to protect you against Osiris as well it seems.

Anubis:

You and him were childhood friends as you both were born close around the same time just you being a bit older.

You two usually play together as kids before you had to escape from Seth with your mother after your father’s death.

Soon you two reunited when your mother decided it was time to confront Seth. And up came the competition afterwards.

You were shocked to see Anubis helping your brother in winning said competition though later found out that he wanted to know how to get rid of his curse and how to become a god, which Horus helped more on that.

You teased Anubis of him being baby sized which made him get flustered and deny it hard which made you laugh, your laugh secretly made him blush.

After the trial and Seth got his punishment you didn’t see him after that which made you sad as he was honestly the only one that has been with you since you were born besides your mother.

When you got word that a new god that is under your father in duat you weren’t expecting anubis to be that god, you started bothering him again even with he does have any memory of you, you acted as if it was before he became a god. What with you bothering him so much he began to think you’re someone from his past; a lover so he kissed you one day randomly while you were bothering him again. Osiris of course tried to get you two away from each other as he needs you for his plan to have a child with Seth but he’ll come to find out Anubis won’t let that happen.

(A/n: hoped y'all liked it! i tried my best to make the reader have deadpool's personality the best i could do so i'm sorry if it's not quite right. anyway i believe that's its so hope y'all have a wonderful day/evening/night!!)

[sevenpersona]

Deadpool x reader

Just a funny little silly self indulgent thought I had lmao

Deadpool is a Shawol and you can fight me on this

Can you imagine making out with Wade and you moan baby and he just is like waiitttt hold that thought grabs his phone and plays Ring Ding Dong by Shinee bc of course he would it's a banger song.

Alternatively he starts fucking you to Lucifer or Sherlock....

Alternatively, he does in fact not continue to make out with you but instead gives you an elaborate performance of said songs... and if you try to interrupt you get a shhhh baby girl let me fulfill my not so secret kpop idol dream.

Bonus points if you can accurately figure out which member he is trying to be and bonus bonus points if you get up and join him bc adhd brain kicks your ass and his at the same time heheh.

[littlepotaaatosimp]

One-shot ideas #2 - SpiderVerse / Record of Ragnarok

🔴🟣🔴🟣🔴🟣🔴🟣

Ideas : Spiderverse :

Spiderverse X Deadpool !Reader

Record of Ragnarok :

Record of Ragnarok X Deadpool !Reader

Record of Ragnarok X Agatha Harkness !Reader

⚠️ If you want to be tagged tell me know in comment with the one-shot that interest you

🔴🟣🔴🟣🔴🟣🔴🟣

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N, a Deadpool variant, slides up to Daisy…

Y/N: hey gorgeous you seem stressed. what do you say you and me find a quiet place to help you decompress?

Daisy: Pool, you realize the risk right?

Y/N: what risk?

Daisy: if you give me too great of an O, I might kill you with my powers.

Y/N: if I died making you feel like you hit cloud nine, that would be a worthy death!

Daisy rolls her eyes and drags Y/N somewhere a little more private

For @scarletquake-n7

[whole-circus]

Hey, I kinda had an idea, could you pls do Liu sfw and nsfw with a Fem s/o who is basically deadpool but looks normal, so she's into things that are dangerous because she can't die? I hope this isn't too much and pls keep up the good work, your writing is amazing and I hope you have a good day/night

-Bunny Anon

Homicidal Liu with fem. deadpool like reader!

➥ Oh its never too much! Also Im melting, you are so cute!! Love you and take care!! Sorry that i keep you waiting! :((

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

☆ Okay you totally scare Liu! Like he loves you but I beg you.. be careful!! How can you be immortal? Or even worse - how can you love dangerous things..? The knowledge about you not dying and stuff doesnt help at all..! I believe Liu wouldn't be an adrenaline junkie, but who knows? Maybe with a bit of good luck and fluttering your pretty eyelashes you will encourage him to try something more..extreme? The bungee jumping would be his max I think..Its not much but he is trying! He is giving his 100%! Dont laugh at him!

☆ He would be pretty sceptical about you not being able to die. Propably would think that you are just playing jokes on him. But when he finally believes you? Liu gets pretty anxious..there are a lot of questions..like a lot! The worst and best thing is propably the fact, that you will live longer than him. Like okay, he doesn't have to worry that you will die first - that would be heartbreaking, I think he would die out of sorrow, he just can't imagine living without you. But! At the same time, he is so so anxious. You can live and live, he is sure you will find someone better than him.. So please, just reassure him and he will come back to his usual self!

☆ Liu would ask a lot of questions..come on, its his first (and propably last) time meeting someone like you! So please, get ready for answering all of them - even if they seem stupid for you! He also understands that it can get pretty overwhelming..how long can you live? Its frustrating for sure, so he is your shoulder to cry or to lean on. Wants to make your life with him the best he possibly can, so just say a thing and he would do it for you!

NSWF!

☆ ..Well when it comes to sex, he is not that scared! Even if he dont like extreme sports or hobbies in bed he is guy for you. He is not afraid to try many diffrent things (with your consent ofc)! Breath play? Doesn't matter if he is the one choking or being choked, he just love being either vurnable or in control over you. Also high chance to be into blood/knife play, but that would take him a bit more of encouragement. Big on sadism and masochism, also impact play! Liu mostly prefers to be a dom, but he would never say 'no' to you! He just love when pain and pleasure are so close, that they are mixing together and lead him to ecstasy. And when it comes to impact play? He just can't get enough of hitting your soft skin, making bruises and marks all over you! And he is so proud that its his work too! No worries tho, when it comes to aftercare he would take care of all of potential parts that may hurt you! He is also not scared to educate himself on safe sex when it comes to more risky things!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[multi-fandom-enjoyer]

Y/n: Babe, please.

Laura (chuckles): For the last time, Y/n, no.

Y/n: We finally got to see Hugh in it, and it looked so cool.

Y/n hold up Mary Puppins as they both give her puppy eyes.

Y/n: Please?

Laura (sighs): Fine, just this once.

She scratches Mary Puppins's head before leaving, only to return a moment later wearing the iconic yellow-and-blue suit.

Laura: Happy?

Y/n (wipes blood from their nose): Yes...

Laura (Smirks): On second thought, I might wear this more often.

Art by Raijin Art on ArtStation

[thatboisus]

me logging onto tumblr after consuming a new piece of media