#Uh anyway I had some thoughts about this
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Deconstructing this A. Cola named entity... What's under that faux fur..
#Oc art#Mewmew Agricola#Surreal art#Cat oc#Mecha oc#(kind of??????? Idk that's the point)#Pencil art#notebook drawing#Creature#Should we really start thinking more deeply about an alien mech creature who somehow turns into a normal looking cat#AND TWO DIFF VEHICLES#Ngl I want Mewmew to also turn into some more. Practical everyday vehicle#Uh anyway I had some thoughts about this#Mewmew being so abstract and being born out of simple joy for having something whimsical and nonsensical#Shockingly‼️(sarcasm) lends well to cosmic horror. Or body horror. Maybe. Idk.#But hey it's a silly kitty#I'm not trying to dig too deeply under mews skin bc I feel like. They were already trying that back in the alliance#Mew deserves to retain some mystique and will to just. Exist. But#But..... (sits here ominously)#On a more normal note I am enjoying notebook drawing :)
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One man. Three personas. Each one a foil to the protagonist in a different way.
#squidgamegif#squidgameedit#squid game#seong gi hun#hwang in ho#oh young il#frontman#characterization#literary devices#hey man every version of me is perfectly in contrast with you in a different and impactful way is it CASUAL NOW???#the fun thing about fandom is that is can be indistinguishable from homework#anyway i have been thinking about this all day and uh just traded some sleep in order to get this done#also like i was a physics and math major so my literary analysis skills are solely based on obsessing over tv and book characters#that is to say i am not *good* at this but my brain just does it and i'm just along for the ride#when i said i had capital T Thoughts about squid game and constructing a compelling narrative...#analysis
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Been thinking about idw1's outliers lately, and how sort of wild the whole concept is from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it struck me that most confirmed outlier abilities tend to be really useful, or flashy, or powerfully dangerous, and few to none tend to be like, really boring, or totally impractical, or even entirely useless? Which, doesn't really make sense when considering the fact that outlier abilities are seemingly random.
Surely not everyone who's born an outlier gets something useful?
And I don't mean like, "good" useful, but any sort of useful, even if that means you can kill people with your voice, or give a power boost by exploding yourself, those are still "useful".
But surely there had to be some with abilities that were totally impractical, or nonbeneficial, or at the very least just insignificant or purely aesthetic and pointless?
#mods. enhancements. and artificial outlier abilities are a different thing. with plenty of room for error and drawbacks#but being born inherently an outlier by the sheer whim of. idfk. primus or the planet itself. what's the chances there???#this definitely has to have been discussed before. i'm just too lazy to dig for it rn. but yeah. its a fascinating concept either way#idw transformers#tf idw1#mtmte#lost light#maccadam#maybe thundercracker's sonic booms count. but those have some use. also its funky. so he gets a pass i think#i had more thoughts about this earlier when i first jotted the thought down. but ive forgotten them now >:/#basically its just funny to think of like. shockwaves school and all. going around like ''what can you do?''#and you've got the group we see in the flashback. and then like. some guy whos like ''...i can change the color of energon''#or like. ''i can float! but only like... three inches off the ground''#i cant think of every example. but go down a list of useless superpowers and there ya go#omg. wait. if rewinds whole color changing deal was legitimately a outlier thing. i guess he would count#also. in a similar vein. its really funny to think of outlier abilities as like. stats and stuff? plus 1 to so and so but negative 1 to etc#so abilities had a sort of cost. this is smth ive seen here and there in fics and stuff. and its great.#but its sorta funny to think of working in the opposite way too#take misfire as an example. bcs its funny. negative boost to aiming. but positive boost to evasion#less of a chance to hit smth. but also less of a chance to be hit by smth#idk lol. sorry. ive been doing a lot of gaming lately bcs ✨️stress✨️. so ive got a lot of dumb stats rolling around in my head lmao#also its 4am. so... coherence has long gone to bed before me lol#struggling to sleep again tonight. but more so for anxiety reasons. all these federal job changes are hitting very close to home rn#it'll probably be fine tho. probably. got a lot of other personal shit to worry about anyways. like my fucking medical files being tossed?!#tricare when i get you. when i fucking grt you omg. i didnt even serve. why am i suffering omfg#sorry... thats off-topic. so its probably best i uh. put myself to bed. at 4am. so. goodnight and good morning 🥲👍#tf idw#tf worldbuilding
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sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.
#god i really really don’t want to do this. but i have to but i don’t want to but i have to but i don’t want to. and so on. you get the gist#though i guess i am more not wanting to let go of an idea or fantasy rather than reality#like i always wanted to be an active participant in fun oc art fandom writing etc etc communities#but all i really did was make way too many people uncomfortable with my worthless stuff.#like it and me are just not built for interacting with people lmao. especially when it comes to stuff like my characters or uh.#i don’t know you can’t call it art or writing just uh. creations i guess.#and like i knew that before i made this blog but then people started interacting with me and i thought hey maybe this’ll work out maybe i#can be better and then i so wasn’t. and for that i am very sorry.#(and i mean this is not the main reason why i feel like i have to do this but i can’t just go back like nothing happened on here lmao.#i deleted 90% of my shana posts i had/am having a crashout i gotta at least follow through after being so embarrassing#after being even more insufferable than usual haha. and if i stayed there would be even more people who feel obligated to stay around#i feel. and i so don’t want that. so just one more reason why i gotta be brave and just fucking do it.)#also i do realise that there’s the possibility of not deactivating and just logging off and leaving but every time i took a break like that#i always like felt a bit ‘better’/delusional & thought it’d be ok to return. sure that’ll happen again.which is why i have to be so drastic#like even if i made a new blog i know myself well enough to know that i’ll be too embarrassed to reach out to anyone again.#so it would really be a working solution to this problem. i really should just do it.#romeo’s wretched rambles#also a message to everyone telling me that they like shana and that he’s not a shit character to obsess over & more importantly share#with folks: appreciate the sentiment but there’s a lot of his evil you don’t know about.#i was implying some stuff here and there and some people i’ve told more privately but even they are missing like 25% of the shana.#those being the absolute worst parts of him. i am still absolutely obsessed with him but that’s my error to fix and i can’t subject#people to that anymore in good conscience. seeing people say they like him actively feels like i’m pulling a shana myself and deceiving#people with lies of omission sometimes. remember that lol. obviously ik that there r big differences but sometimes it just feels awful stil#so maybe he’s better contained in a separate private blog that i can torch once i get over this rot and just be done with this fucking char#again i don’t mean to say that i don’t appreciate the support but i’m sure many of your guys’ opinions would change If You Knew. you know.#(god. with the lies of omission thing. every day i learn more abt how i subconsciously write things that make me deeply uncomfortable lol)#(and that i fear. like. that wasn’t even intentional when i gave him that trait. i just realised that while typing this pointless mess lmao#anyways. thanks for readin if you made it this far. send me anon hate or something. hit me with an anvil and spit on my corpse if you will#i hope that at least by the end of this week i will have put my brave pants on and decided on what to do. sorry for being so annoying.
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ah. has difficulty sleeping then dreams of apocalypse i guess.
#so i uh; fell asleep again;#its all right. it felt very tangible though#piktalk#it was very fictiony in places but that matters little in dreams like that.#for some reason the sky just. stopped working. or started working differently i guess.#you could see every band of every time of day all at once; leaving a sort of faux secondary horizon in the sky.#(i do not do well with seeing the blank night sky; so i did my best not to look.)#the moon was uncomfortably large and vivid; and you could see it from anywhere. you could not see the sun.#evidently; they were preparing to use a large weapon in case anything could be shot at. we were in the range; so we had to go.#it was mostly everyone in what i assume to be a college dorm scrambling to get their stuff and leave.#by the time i got everything a lot of people had already gone. but we drove off anyway.#it got dark like evening; then even darker past that. my phone lost service and all we had was blind trust in the gps.#nobody else was on the road. it was very quiet. i didnt want to ask how long we had; so it stayed quiet.#it felt important actually; that id left something important behind accidentally.#i was very sad about it; but it felt very concrete. didnt feel like playing or imagining. there was this thought of#'well we wanted a fresh start didnt we? i guess thisll be it.' which felt; feels; very important somehow.#i do think its a little funny though. said weapon from earlier was called justitia. implied to be a pale blue bird.#not really literally. it was still implied to essentially be a nuke. it just looks like a bird from far away.#so. huh. goodmorning.
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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Adventures through Liminal Spaces.
#photography#my photography#liminal spaces#in btw#driscoll#i know this isn't my usual thing here but i swear this is writing related lmao#writing#(for good measure)#anyway i stayed at a hotel last weekend for Scene and Setting Vibes and i took SO MANY pictures about it#and at the time i thought 'hell yes documenting the shit out of this'#and when i looked back at them to Make My Scene Notes i was uh. viscerally unsettled. by some of them.#so naturally i must share with the world :)#the hotel was PERFECT for what i needed#half the stairwell lights were just. out.#the ceilings were claustrophobic but the stairwells were uncomfortably wide#nothing matched#can you see how blazing this fluorescent light is#can you see the darkness around the corner that i came from#i stood there for too long trying to get pictures without cars in them lol#(i deleted four that had cars in them)#interiors#interior photography
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Wip Wednesday babeeyy
eyy I've finally remembered that wip wednesday exists!! here's some proof that i'm working on something, and that something is the follower milestone gift i said i was going to do and i promise i'm doing it! i'm doing it it's happening i promise! so here's a little taster!!!! and here's Part One if you want a refresher!
And then the kid just vanishes.
In the blink of an eye, in the time it takes for him to look down, screw his face up because this is all confusing as fuck, and look back up, he’s just gone. There’s nowhere to hide, there’s nowhere to go, Jason can see everywhere around him—but he can’t see Danny.
“Well… shit."
“What, what happened?” Dickybird hisses in his ear, the unsaid, exasperated “now” very clear in his voice.
As much as he loathes to admit it, Jason is feeling very much the same way right now. What was meant to be a simple case of “investigate the potential child abuse and put an end to it” has instead become something… less simple. When is it ever simple in his life?
Still. If working with supers, metas, vigilantes, whatever, has taught Jason anything, it’s that just because you can’t see someone doesn’t mean they’re not there.
“Hey, kid… Danny. Listen, I’m not here to hurt you and if you’re still here, if you can still hear me, then, I don’t know, do you want to get a bite to eat or something? I just want to talk. I just want to figure out what’s happening.”
Jason doesn’t hold his breath.
Okay, no, that’s a lie. Jason holds his breath, but he swears he’s holding it so he can more accurately hear if Danny is still around. That’s all it is, he’s not attached to this kid already. He’s not.
When no answer comes—not even a whisper of a breath or the scuff of a sneaker on the pavement—he suppresses a frustrated growl and opts instead to breathe deeply and pinch the bridge of his nose.
“So…” Tim begins, drawing out the word.
The urge to growl—hell, the urge to pull out his comms and smash them on the floor—grows.
“The kid’s a meta, then. Potential powers including but not limited to: invisibility or teleportation. You think he’s still there?” There’s no reason for the kid to still be around, not at all. If it was Jason, he’d have scattered as soon as he realised the stranger impersonating his dad wasn’t the guy he thought was impersonating his dad, and honestly, wasn’t that extra fucked up? That someone impersonates people in this town often enough that it’s not a surprise? The way Danny spoke about him… What was his name?
Amorpho. Amorphous. Without shape.
A shapeshifter?
Whatever. It’s a mystery for another time, because there’s still a more pressing mystery in front of him.
Or,. rather, not in front of him.
Yes, there’s no reason for Danny to still be here, but…
Jason sighs.
“I’m going to Bat—Nasty Burger. Really? Is that the best burger joint here? Nasty Burger? Whatever, I’m going to get some fucking fries.”
Jason feels fucking stupid talking the air like this. He must look fucking stupid, too, but the thing is… There’s a prickling on the back of his neck, a rolling taste of green on his tongue when he glances through his peripheral, the vague weight of an unseen eyes on him.
Call it wishful thinking, call it a hunch, call it something else, but Danny’s still here.
“There’ll be a burger waiting for you, too, if you want it. My treat.” Jason turns in a full circle, examining everything in his surroundings. Nothing seems out of place, nothing screams wrong to him. “I just want to talk.”
He waits for a full minute with no success, which makes Jason feel even more stupid, before clicking his tongue and making his way to the, hopefully ironically named, Nasty Burger.
#dpxdc#wip wednesday#lol i've been trying to post this for ages#even thought i should make a new day - fuck i forgot about wip wednesday friday#might still do that tbf haha#hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes#so here we go!!!#idk if i'll delete this later - is that what people do with wip weds?? idk#uh but here we are#please give me some motivation i'm at a wall and i'm banging my head against it 🙏🙏#uh. also. this silly little wip that i had no idea how to follow on from what i'd added to the prompt#is now like 12k long and growing more and more#why do i do this to myself#everything just becomes so big woof#anyway enjoy!!
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And please give me all your unpopular opinions on Sandman 🙏🏼
[maniacal laughter]
we know my feelings about hob gadling
dreamling is not THAT compelling
the tragic end of morpheus' arc in the comix fulfills a narrative function, which is the most in-character thing it could do
in this house we love and respect danny!dream
the only good thing to come out of the spinoffs was nick robles' danny art (and possibly jt4's nightmare country but we have yet to see how he concludes it)
if the neilman weren't a coward, he would have cast toshiro mifune as destruction for s2 ("horse," you might say, "mifune died almost 20 years ago, how would he get the role?" that's not my job to figure out. i would have also accepted manny jacinto, though)
bailey bass should be delirium
the comix, the series, and the fandom are too anglocentric (perils of an english speaking creator and audience)
i have Thoughts about how Despair in the comix is the only fat Endless and also the one who is most often drawn as inhuman. i also have Thoughts about how Despair is the significant fat representation in the series.
the neilman and the fandom should read saidiya hartman
#ask games#sandman#whoops the disc horse#i thought about separating the series from the comix in different lists but uh. then it got unwieldy.#this is the short list#on the longer list would be i dislike how the comix treat black women#and i think the series has POSSIBLY done better#(if Death is the only Black Endless sibling i'm...gonna have some Words.)#(like. could it be meta-commentary on social death? sure. do i think the neilman and the creative team on sandman are thinking that deep?)#anyways this took me a while to answer because i got side-tracked#and then had to go to an event on ''free speech and dei initiatives''
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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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also im sorry but the jofron thing is so funny like holy shit. you fall in love with the failed white prophet and hes like mourning his catalyst who he was in love with but like its fine because youre picking up the pieces and even though he feels like he failed, YOU have faith in him, if not as a prophet as a person, because you love him. and you build this little life together, and you move in together, and you share a craft and a business and you're his weird little priestess girlfriend and everythings going great and then he comes home one day bridal carrying this emaciated 6 foot something man and says its his catalyst whos alive after all and then you help him nurse him back from the brink of death and then he breaks up with you and just fucks off forever. gone.
and that fitz NEVER NOTICED. like after all this time hes like yeah i guess they DID live together and i guess she DID just mysteriously move out after i showed up but yknow i just assumed that was because i was sleeping in the bed. you know the bed. the only bed. in the hut they lived in together.
#the fact hes STILL JEALOUS after finding out the fool had ONE (1) GIRLFRIEND LITERALLY THIRTY YEARS AGO#a girlfriend he LEFT. FOR FITZ. still jealous. if i were jofron id be so smug about the letters. i get it.#and fitz getting so fucking jealous SPECIFICALLY about the idea they were a couple#and then having a moment of nighteyes induced awareness that like yeah that is weird that i care#and coming to the conclusion well i care anyways and i guess it just makes me mad. for some mysterious reason. uh huh. yeah.#rote liveblog#i didnt realize that jofron and the fool were together but in my defense i also thought she was an old woman for no reason
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i don't talk about alucard castlevania very often because the last season of castlevania was so bad to me that i just don't engage with the show anymore like that but make no mistake. i have many thoughts and opinions on that man.
#first of which is they should have treated him better 😭#like not out of a 'oh he's my favorite character he deserves everything' standpoint#he is and he does. but also What Was The Point Of All That 😭 like jesus christ!!!!!#castlevania writer voice what if we made him sit alone in his empty desecrated childhood home where he just killed his father#and then gave him some company. and then had that company gain his trust and sleep with him and then try to kill him During sex#and then he went insane! and killed a lot of people!#and then we fixed him by giving him a girlfriend :D#shut UP BRO SHUT UP#if you're gonna do all that. at least let him continue to be gay#not in a 'i don't believe he's bisexual' way but going 'yeah he has gay sex!' and then making the gay sex encounter end in gruesome murder#doesn't uh. doesn't really spell gay rights. can he have sex with a man in a way that ends with him not horribly traumatized#i don't like his relationship dynamic with that woman in the last season either but that's for different reasons.#i feel like he got steamrollered by her y'know :/ malewifed etc. etc. :/#she was a fine character i just didn't like the two of them together#or how it was framed as like. y'know. alucard just needed to get bossed around. that'll give him purpose again.#hey what if. if he was gonna kiss someone about it. he did that with the people that he bonded with and trusts and knows.#just a thought. ANYWAY#valentine notes
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not me spending like three hours on a late assignment (it's only like 5 days late) only for the submission box to be closed 💀💀💀
#i shouldve checked first i guess. damn#whatever. tbh it was fun and i think i wouldve felt bad not doing it since i read a whole poetry collection for it#so if i didnt do it theres a kinda 'well fuck. whats the point' thing to not even starting#we are slowly digging through very important assignments that are um late but im proud of myself anyway bc#theyre mostly only like. one day late so it'll probably be okay#i am still screwed in a way but i am getting less so#side note but bc of thanksgiving break rascal hadnt seen me for about a week and he's been very cuddly today 🥺🥺🥺#im gonna miss you over break little man </3#now if only i could go back and attend those final classes i thought were largely superfluous but apparently Always contained#some kind of quiz or important thing i had to make up. 💀#i also need to do a poetry reqding tomorrow which means i have to edit smth to completion which is hard#i havent done that uh. at all this semester#and im supposed to have a draft for my reflection letter for my portfolio but i also skipped the class where we were gonna do smth with it#so like uhhh...? do i need to do that for tomorrow? i also have a final tmr like. priorities.#anyway i emailed it to the prof it's in their hands now
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#~abyssal murmurs#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.
#chatter#GOOD TIMING TO THINK ABOUT AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY: EDITING UR TOH DAEMON AU LOL#like i can separate it out enough when im working lol but afterwards. oh its all deltarune babey!!!#been thinking a lot about dess and how i wanna write her#(aka im gonna canonize some mental stuff i've always kinda had in the back of my mind for her)#and GOD. dess. i forgive her for all her flaws <3#but no shes sooooo fascinating to me in this au its just. she was Eighteen. right in the middle of a pretty bad psychotic break.#the only person ever in her corner (asriel) Did Not Believe her and has always been real shitty about her undiagnosed mental illnesses#(dw we will come back to this i have a LOT of ideas for azzy lol he is. uh. not the best at the start!)#and so like. of course when it comes to kris her best was never going to be enough.#but GOD im soooo fascinated by like. she does genuinely really truly care for kris.#yes its messy and caught up in a bunch of other things but she LOVES THEM#even if she cannot ever love them in the way they want her to (ie as a parent loves a child)#and is it fair for kris? no! course it isnt!!!#but theres no changing the past and so. this is kris's life now#and its dess's life now. and they just have to live with what happened#thinking about the like. 6 months to a year where it was just dess and kris (before chara) and. god.#GOD. YOU GUYS.#sorry this au is. um. i think it is my everything. like.#if you know you know (hi stars lol <3) but. man.........man.#i have a lot of thoughts about. prophecy. and when translating that out beyond just story and into like. the real world#cause lets be real prophecy doesnt exist but things w this power of 'you are supposed to be x and cannot be anything but x' DO and#god. the dess raises kris au is So Much.#also yeah another acacia tags essay they simply hit differently <3#also enough to go into the main tag so#drkau#anyways lemme go back to editing lol
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