#UNREQUITED???

[tielmamon]

Part 2

"Oh- wh- hold on now, thought we were playing for fun?" Jaskier watches Ciri deplete his monitary resources with the sweetest smile, and truly he finds that he doesn't mind.

"I assure you, it truly is a delight taking your coin." He puts on an annoyed face and snatches her cards back just to squeeze another laugh out of her. Gods know this girl needs a bit of levity in her life right now. He wasn't good at a lot of things, realistcally. He's not skilled with a sword, not a pinch of chaos in him, but making people laugh? That he can do.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do." He glances at her, honestly more proud than anything else. Princess Cirilla of Cintra, a fiesty spark of a girl turned warrior. He wasn't there for her initial adjustment with Geralt for...obvious reasons but in the years when he was there, he's seen how brave and noble and irrefutably powerful she is. All that hurt and pain turned into pure determination. She's a flame, just like her mother. And most of all, Jaskier sees so much of his best friend in her. Not just the stubbornness to do good or fierce protectiveness over those she loves, but also the little things that make his heart ache. How she holds her sword, how she likes her meat, hell even how she walks. Undoutably a reflection of her parent's love and guidance.

Her parents...

The sharpness in his chest returns. Its strange. Years and years of loving Geralt had eventually reformed his once raging, constantly ready-to-burst love into a calm, surrendered sort of feeling. It's not that his love for the man lessened. On the contrary, every year he feels them grow and evolve into something more. Knowing that heartbreak was inevitable had given him a bittersweet sort of peace. So the pain in his chest that flares whenever he sees Geralt so openly love Yen faded with time, leaving a dull ache in its place.

Until now.

"I'm sorry you're here with me, instead of at the party." Ciri brings him out of his thoughts. He simply shakes his head.

"Oh, I'm not." In all honestly, he was a bit annoyed that everyone and their mother seemed to be invited to this conclave except him but then he remembers Geralt and Yennefer going together. He could only imagine what fancy, no doubt monochromatic outfit Yen would force Geral to wear. Then again, if Yennefer was the one asking he doubts Geralt would protest. Not as much as he would with him, anyway-

He cuts that train of thought before it sends him spiraling. He had worked so hard to keep himself incheck, keep his feelings to a minimum. To not feel, or at the very least look like the lovesick fool he was before.

"Valdo's off key warblng would make my ears bleed." He settles on a believable and admittedly true excuse. Valdo's overdramatic (even for him) vocals are definitely a factor, but he'd rather listen to that noise for days than watch Geralt dance Yennefer across the ballroom with that soft, painfully besotted look on his face. He might actually die of heartbreak if he does.

"Besides, I'm better off here." He smiles at her, reassuredly. He sees the princess sit up straighter, patting the spot beside her. He raises an eyebrow but sits down nontheless.

"Jask?"

"Yes, coin thief?"

"Does he know?" He feels his heartbeat pick up. He's sure than his body is noticibly tenses, judging by how Ciri looks at him like a kicked fucking puppy.

"Does who know what?" He knows what she's asking, because what else could she mean? But like a coward, he deflects. He turns to humor because really, thats his weapon of choice. She looks at him with such a sad look and he knows he's caught.

"Does Geralt know you love him?" Deflect. Run. Don't answer-

"Of course he knows I love him. He's my best friend." He prays that his answer is enough. It seems like it isn't .

"Jaskier." He is still and silent, almost like how the man in question often is. In the end, he finds that he's tired of lying about what he feels. So, he talks.

"I think so, yes. Pretty hard thing to miss after the years of songs and poetry and...well, you get the picture." He sees her face drop, and a certain panic sets in.

"Ciri- listen, I would never ever try and break up your parents, okay? I-I would never do that to your family." He says in a rush, desperate for her to realizes. Because yes, as much as he loves Geralt, he would never jeopardise this. They were quite literally destined to be together, and if Jaskier feels like his chest is being ripped out by a wyvern everytime he sees them then thats his problem, not theirs.

"You're part of this family too, you know." Jaskier has only ever been truly speechless a handful of times in his life. But when he feels her bring him into a hug far nicer than he technically deserves right now, he finds that he can't bring himself to say anything because gods, he wishes it were true. That he was part of this group. This family and not just a stray thread, waiting to be cut off and thrown away once again.

"You're family too." He nods weakly, a few tears spilling from his eyes. Smaller hands, not yet calloused by swords or spells brush a few tears from his cheeks using the blanket. He laughs wetly, complaining how dusty the blanket is, making him cry more which was definitely the real reason and not anything else.

"And I'm not upset at you Jaskier. I'm upset for you. I don't like seeing you hurt like this..." He sees her brows furrow, hands pulling away to clutch the covers. He chuckles, wiping away the rest of his tears.

"Oh, how lucky a man am I. To have such a fierce warrior-witcher-mage princess protecting me." He smiles but her frown doesn't waver. She adjusts herself on the bed to face him properly, laying on her side and slipping a hand to hold his.

"I'm serious Jaskier! You're happiness is important too." He squeezes the hand on top of his, mustering up enough courage to smile.

"My dear, I am happy with what I have now."

"Liar." He gasps, bringing a hand to his heart. She smiles, just a bit and he counts that as a win

"I would never!" He allows himself to breath when he sees her chuckle. He's exhausted, truly. His body feels heavy with the weight of his emotions and physical exhaustion of the day. Still, there is a determined princess cuddled up infront of him with furrowed brows and a sad look on her face that simply cannot wait until morning.

"We do not choose who we love in this lifetime. I didn't choose to fall inlove with my best friend the same way Geralt didn't choose to not reciprocate those feelings. Which is okay, because-...because my love for your father isn't one that seeks a reply. It simple is." Ciri recalls her memories.

Memories from Geralt and her in the woods, running and overwhelmed and terrified. She remembers Geralt telling her stories of his best friend- an obnoxious bard that told the best stories even though they weren't entirely true. The look of guilt and sadness and longing her father suprise had when he told her about him. The few tears she saw him shed behind a crack in the door the night he finally gathered up the courage to apologize to Jaskier for everything. She had never seen him so devastated.

The grin he didn't even bother to hide when Jaskier had offhandedly called him darling when he asked for the salt.

"But what if there is a reply? What if he does love you?" Jaskier shakes his head, looking down to his lap.

We could head to the coast...

Get away for a while...

Composing your next song?

No...No, just trying to work out what pleases me...

Jaskier bears his heart to Geralt on that mountain top. He doesn't breathe, doesn't dare look away. He waits and hopes and gods above, he loves so hard it hurts. Maybe just this once, he'll be enough. Maybe they could run away from this, from everything just for a year. Maybe-

Geralt stands and leaves. Jaskier turns and sees him disappear in Yennefer's tent.

"Darling, that's impossible." He smiles sadly, playing with her fingers. The memory of then mountain and all other instances of him and Geralt replay like an old song. He knew the melody and each lyric by heart by now.

"But Jaskier I've-" Ciri startles when Jaskier’s hand claps with hers loudly and suddenly. Her palm barely stings but she gets the hint to stop talking.

"I have his friendship. I have a-a family apparently, in you and Yen. That is...more than I ever dreamed of having. You all are more than enough for me." Ciri regards him for a moment, staring at him like she's reading his soul. Whatever she sees seems to satisfy- atleast for now, because she sighs and lays a head on his shoulder.

"You too." He leans back, cheek brushing her temple as they stare at the flames of the fireplace.

"Thank you." He pretends to believe her.

Part 1 (x)

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[chuchaitiu]

Feeling safe in someone's energy is a different type of intimacy. That peace of mind and security is very underrated and I cannot emphasize this enough.

[secshrimp]

"wasted potential" you are still living!!! your potential is still here, you can carry on

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[cowboylikesubai]

i woke up shivering from my dream this morning (it had you in it)

edit: i see everyone's tags and i want to let anyone who sees this know that i really did feel this about someone when i posted it and the wound has finally healed 👍 sending everyone hugs 💗💗

@/heavensghost on tumblr / unknown / richard siken / susan orlean / cool about it by boygenius / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / for your own good by leah horlick / the night we met by lord huron / richard siken / trista mateer / text: I thought id know you forever.. by Olivia Ruby - art: Watchmen by Dave Gibbons et al

[hopelessvalentines]

on friends, who maybe want to be a little more than that

@fuckitloveu @mothicalspoken

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[troyandabedsnewapartment]

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STOP LOVING YOU.

1. unknown. | 2. ethel cain, strangers | 3. Melissa broder, skeleton glitter | 4. mitski, a pearl | 5. maggie nelson, bluets | 6. molly brodak, molly brodak | 7. rio romeo, nothing’s new | 8. becca de la rosa & maybell martin, mabel: matryoshka | 9. mitski, humpty

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

– Juansen Dizon

[blabbershere]

I'm a hopelessly romantic old soul disguised as a loner for this modern age love.

— Ruth Winters / Modern Age Love

[luna-azzurra]

heartbreak through body language in Men

A drooping posture can convey a sense of defeat and sadness. Keep shoulders slightly slouched, and avoid standing tall or with a straight back.

Facial expressions play a crucial role. A downturned mouth, furrowed brows, and a distant or vacant gaze can all indicate inner turmoil and heartache.

Men often avoid eye contact when they're feeling vulnerable. If you're experiencing heartbreak, you might find yourself looking down or away when speaking to others.

Restlessness can manifest in various forms, such as tapping fingers, bouncing legs, or constantly shifting positions. This indicates inner turmoil and an inability to find peace.

Movements may become slower and less purposeful when someone is experiencing emotional pain. This can include gestures like reaching for objects or adjusting clothing.

Men in heartbreak might withdraw from social interactions or participate less actively in conversations. They may seem physically present but emotionally distant.

Deep, heavy sighs are often involuntary reactions to emotional distress. They signify a release of tension and an underlying sense of sadness.

Heartbreak can drain one's energy. You may notice a decrease in enthusiasm, vitality, and overall liveliness in how you carry yourself and engage with others.

Crossing arms, hunching shoulders forward, or clasping hands in front of the body can create a barrier between oneself and others, reflecting emotional guardedness and pain.

Gestures may become less expressive and more restrained. Hand movements may be smaller in scale and less animated compared to usual.

[chimerri]

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

[medievalfoxx]

i was not made for hookup culture, i was made for the most soul crushing experience ever. i was born to feel everything entirely and endlessly. i was made to feel everything deeply

[sscarletvenus]

i love unrequited love, i love blind devotion, i love guard dogs. i love being desperately obsessed with the object of your affections. i love when devotion rots into cruelty, i love when love doesn't know any better, i love when love is ugly. i love defanging and declawing yourself just to be loved. i love when a character will wait for the next time they will be loved like a bird or a dog at their beloved’s door. i love when love is insanity and by the LORD do i love betting on losing dogs

[silent-insanities]

Sometimes I just want to run away from this life.