#Trigger warning: suicide

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Some headcanons surrounding Disney Hook’s mental health…or lack thereof…

He has night terrors almost every night. He puts off going to bed for as long as he can to avoid it even when he’s exhausted and often wakes up screaming several hours before sunrise. A good night of uninterrupted sleep might be four hours if he’s extremely lucky.

Because he knows he often wakes up screaming and emotionally fragile and because he knows that it will likely wake up others in the vicinity, he is extremely self-conscious about sleeping near others, especially those he doesn’t know well. While he can’t totally avoid it on the ship, when he has the option of sleeping farther away from everyone else (like when they are camping out on the island), he intentionally sets up a space as far away from all the others as possible.

He doesn’t like sleeping in total darkness and always keeps a lamp burning. He was afraid of the dark as a child and now, having experienced the suffocating blackness of the inside of the crocodile, he absolutely cannot stand total darkness.

The ticking phobia gets worse over time. At first, it’s only the one specific clock that the crocodile has that bothers him, but as the traumatic experiences pile up and then the octopus comes along, it gets increasingly more and more difficult for him to be around anything that even remotely resembles the sound—all clocks, metronomes, even just a rhythmic clapping or tapping noise. Within seconds, he can feel his chest tighten, his legs go limp, and he starts struggling to breathe…which reminds him of the lack of air inside the crocodile or underwater…which makes it even more difficult to breathe. Eventually, it gets to the point where he just freezes up entirely and can’t move until the sound goes away.

He wasn’t afraid of his own blood until after losing the hand. There was just…so MUCH of it… Now, even a small cut makes him a little woozy. With larger injuries, he has to sit down as soon as he notices it to keep from passing out.

Post-redemption arc, the thought of his past violence sometimes makes him physically ill.

He wears the same coat and other general ensemble all the time because it offers the comfort of familiarity. He used to wear other colors and switch things up but it actually makes him anxious now to do anything different because he’s had so many good clothes ruined by the crocodile and he doesn’t want to find a new favorite just to have it destroyed. So he just has a bunch of identical items in his wardrobe.

The coat itself is a comfort item. When it’s on, he feels more confident. When he takes it off, he’s often feeling more vulnerable. Smee has picked up on this and figured out it’s a good indicator of gauging his emotional state.

Smoking is his way of dealing with anxiety. It forces him to slow his breathing down and the nicotine helps calm him down. Cigars and tea are his go-to coping mechanisms when he’s coming out of a stressful experience.

He’s prone to some serious depressive episodes. During the worst of them, Smee has to make sure he doesn’t have any weapons around to harm himself…including the claw. He has been known to cut himself (despite his discomfort surrounding his own blood) when he doesn’t have any other weapons and is having an especially difficult time.

He has an extremely deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment. It’s why it takes him so long to let anyone—even Smee—really get close to him…because once he lets himself care about someone, he’s terrified of losing them. The thought of being alone and forgotten is even more terrifying than the thought of the crocodile.

Touch is grounding for him when he’s having a panic attack. Even just a hand on his arm helps but often he instinctively wants to cling to whoever happens to be closest when he’s struggling. He will straight-up drag Smee into a tight hug. Fortunately, Mr. Smee doesn’t mind and just hangs on for as long as he needs it.

[ytcomments-archive]

[elfangel94]

i think it’s so fucking funny when people talk about depression and suicide and say things like “you’re loved. i love you. i care. you matter🥺” and i just laugh and think to myself ‘i could slit my arms open wrist to elbow and bleed out and you wouldn’t even fucking know.’ Nothing in your life would change. You’d go about your day and i would take up absolutely 0 space in your mind or life. Stop lying to people. The only impact my death would have would be putting my parents even deeper into debt with funeral costs. I can’t even die without being a fucking problem.

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

It’s actually so evil that they had Chimney be the one to tell Buck that Bobby died when Buck was having his coma dream. Chimney, the only one who knew, up until very VERY recently, that Bobby ever intended to kill himself after he filled the book of names up. Chimney, the only one that Bobby confided in for YEARS (that we know of) until Athena SIX YEARS LATER. Chimney telling Buck in the coma dream when he was there for Bobby, when he was right there in season 1, and he found out what Bobby was thinking, and then did everything he could to change Bobby’s mind until the whole golden blood thing (and Athena) helps them out.

Fully believe that Bobby has only ever explained the book to Chimney and now Athena, so even the wording of coma dream Chimney telling Buck that Bobby is dead makes it a little ambiguous as to how he died imo. Buck doesn’t know about the book, so coma!Bobby is high, implying that Bobby died of an overdose because that’s the information that Buck’s brain holds, not the book and Bobby’s suicidal ideation. So Buck has no idea how horrifying it is for Chim to be the one telling him that Bobby died, he’s too busy getting knocked flat on his ass and losing air. We as the audience feel it though. We feel the whole effect of Chimney telling us that Bobby died. Will never be over this btw

[we-made-it-this-far-kid]

When I was 13 I had downloaded a clip on my phone of Tyler saying stay alive from an interview and listened to it on repeat and 10 years later I’m still here even tho I thought I’d be dead at 18 and it’s suicide prevention month so if any of y’all r Struggling right now I’m living proof it gets better and I’m going through a pretty hard breakup (which admittedly my fault) but still hurts so much but things will be okay eventually (hopefully) I’m glad I didn’t kill myself tho bc there’s so many Good things I would have missed out on and I probably never would have fallen in love and that’d be sad too

[veronicamarsconfessions]

The Unsympathetic Rob Thomas (Trigger Warning: Suicide)

(plus how Ryan Hansen learned from Rob Thomas' unsympathetic ways)

And no, I'm not talking about how he made Veronica Mars. It was about Party Down, its history, and his apathy-ness when creating the show with his friends.

Based on his own interview about Party Down, Rob Thomas was asked the reason why he made Party Down: The show was a collaboration between him, John Enbom, Dan Etheridge, and Paul Rudd; friends who wanted to make a comedy series based on the experience they had in Hollywood.

He went to this party in Hollywood and struck up a conversation with one of the waiters or a bartender. While his friends were sometimes listening to the bartender telling the story of how he ended up in Hollywood, Rob was listening intently. The guy told him that he was a small-time actor, who was basically a glorified extra. The more he told the story, the more unhinged he became. He admitted that he got depressed after a string of failures. And he had to take a catering job to support his life. In the middle of the story, he cried as he poured his heart out about his failed life and even one-time considers suicide.

As the bartender practically sobbed while telling the story, Rob awkwardly left him.

And this part made me cold in my heart when he returned to his friends - he LAUGHED telling this story about a failed actor who was so depressed that he almost committed suicide. He then told John that this might be a really good basis for a tv show. "How about we make a comedy series about a bunch of losers who work in a catering business, and no matter how hard they try, they will never succeed?"

John thought it was a good idea and was ready to recruit his friend, actor Paul Rudd to be a part of the creators of the show. When the interviewer asked Rob what happened to the waiter/bartender, Rob just shrugged and answered, "I hope he didn't kill himself." As I read that interview (I'm sorry I can't provide the interview link because I don't remember where I read it and it was a very long time ago, almost 12 years or so) I was so sick to find out that Rob nonchalantly telling this story. The amount of apathy from this man, telling a story about a suicidal man, laughing about it, and thinking it would make a good COMEDY series...

Look, you can get inspiration from anywhere. Sometimes you'd get it from the darkest place of humanity, and it's legit. But... the way Rob was telling the story like it was no big deal, and the lack of empathy radiating from Rob, made my skin crawl. And the fact this is a true story, not a rumor created by some blogger, but a legit interview from an official magazine, made me shake my head.

And the ironic thing is that when Brad Bufanda died of suicide, Rob actually tweeted his condolences. But it felt... how do I say it... empty? It was like he had to do it because his death was Trending on Twitter, and many casts tweeted their condolences, especially Francis Capra and Julie Gonzalo. Francis was a friend of Brad's family, so he reached out to his mother. Julie was his co-star in Cinderella Story. But Rob (and KBell) didn't say anything until everyone sorta tagged them about his death. Btw, KBell never tweeted anything.

Brad Bufanda's mother reached out to me on this blog, and I felt gutted that the show meant something to him and his family. I still remember when Brad and I DM'd a few times a few years before his suicide. He was DEPRESSED. Apparently, after Veronica Mars, he didn't have a steady job. He got rejected so many times whenever he went to casting calls. He even said "The fans don't care. They don't care about me." I was so confused about how to answer that, but I tried my best to encourage him that the fans did care about him. Anyway, he deleted his Twitter account and I didn't know how to reach him until I heard about his suicide.

So... to have Rob making fun of a depressed person who was suicidal and at the same time tweeting about someone he knew who committed suicide is making me nauseous.

Another story about Party Down was coming from Ryan Hansen who was also one of the cast of the show. It wasn't an interview per se, but more like a tidbit behind the scene regarding one of the episodes.

There was an episode (I forgot the title), but if you watched the show, you know which one I'm talking about. It was about the orgy episode where the Party Down caterers served them, and the interviewer asked the cast about how the episode was made; the technicality of it, the guest stars, how they filmed it, etc etc.

Ryan, jokingly, talked about how there were so many nude extras, and some of them were beautiful girls. And as they were hanging around, Ryan struck up a conversation with a bunch of naked girls. He was making small talk and trying to make everything fun because apparently, directing a bunch of naked people doing sex wasn't easy.

Ryan, then, ASKED WHETHER HE COULD TOUCH THE BOOBS. The girls at first were reluctant, but one of the girls let him touch and fondled the boobs. Some of them were laughing like it was nothing because most of them were okay doing that. It was a bizarre situation but nothing new in Hollywood. It wasn't until Ryan fondled another boob from a different girl, the girl burst into tears.

The nude girl said she had no choice doing this type of role. She was a small-time actress and had to accept this kind of role to support her life and school. Ryan, while telling the story, mocked her cry. He mimicked her sobbing and cry "Booohoooo hoooo!" and he had no choice but to stop fondling her boob. He laughed and made a comment that if she didn't want to be there, then she should just leave and find another career.

Now, I don't care whether you agree or disagree with someone's career choice, whether it's a sex worker, nude artist, an extra, or whatever. I do care whether you are dick or not (pun intended), and actually be a human being that shows empathy or something.

The interviews were after Party Down had already been canceled at the time, and I already watched the show and didn't think about the complication behind the scenes. But I lost all respect for both Rob Thomas and Ryan Hansen back then. And I have to admit, I had a myopic POV regarding them when they announced the Veronica Mars movie and their interviews were forgotten by me. It wasn't until recently that those memories came back to me, and I regret having ever supported them and even have a blind spot regarding them. That is why I changed the Rob Thomas Book Club to BLIND RATS.

My point is... jebus, it's not hard to be kind to strangers who poured their hearts out. Don't be an asshole and laugh when someone said that they have a problem.

“when someone shows you who they are, believe them”

Note: No, this is NOT the interview I was talking about. This is a new interview, in which Rob is adamant that Party Down is not based on a true story, very different from the old interview that now I can't find the link. Feel free to believe which version, but I do still remember his original story.

[glassrunner]

.

[dalisay17]

12:30am. i received a call from a friend.

we lost another fellow doctor today.

it hit differently because I knew them since undergrad personally. They were bright, wielding a vibrant personality despite the odds. They brought this with them through med school - also through residency, I presumed. And we walked the same paths, but diverged in the detours.

To hear this update about them - someone I distantly knew, but had been rooting for in their chosen field when I heard about them from common friends - is unfair. Someone who was so close to becoming a person equipped to better the lives of others, lost before they even had the chance to do so.

we don't know the full context of why, how it lead to this, but this could have been prevented. we could speculate and speculate, but -

the system must have killed them.

the one who called me had added that a different institution lost 3 trainees to suicide in the span of a year - 2 of which from the same department, within the span of weeks from each other.

I tweeted about this acquaintance. But deleted it out of respect for those closer to them, because I only knew them in passing. I felt it wasn't my place to speak out before those close to them. but my feelings burned.

it is unfair for a system like this to persist. just a few weeks back, a consultant on twitter asked about why the number of those who went into residency continued to dwindle in number.

then this news of a suicide.

this system must be purged and wrought anew. dramatic, but there should be sirens for this demand. no team member should be left behind. and yet there are those who persist to claim it is the way it is to strain those of quality, rather than to build up individuals into stronger versions of themselves. that programs are there because skills are to be taught and learned - not gatekept for petty pride.

a weird segue, but a part of me hoped that there was a modicum of truth to the stories about being transported back in time or into other worlds. a trend in fiction nowadays. it may be useless, but i hope - hope and pray and wish it - that wherever their soul ends up, that their next chances at life would be kinder and more triumphant for them.

we'll miss you! and we'll continue to fight for a better world for those of the same ilk. but for now, i pray you can rest better, even for a while.

[houseofzoey]

Begging P.C. Cast and her agents, editors, and publishers to stop romanticizing suicide. It's legitimately fucking dangerous.

[the-angry-pixie]

Headcanon: Myra is 100% the type of woman who would threaten to divorce Eddie if she didn’t have her way. I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept signed divorce papers hanging up on their fridge “as a reminder”. Needless to say, when Eddie gets the call from Mike, he remembers what it felt like to have six different people who genuinely loved him. As a result, when he went home to pack, he “accidentally” submitted the paperwork and pawned his wedding ring on his way to Derry. He also “accidentally” blocks Myra on everything and “accidentally” gets a new phone

I see Myra as more the type to threaten self-harm or suicide if she doesn't get her way.

Cause like, divorce isn't much of a threat to Eddie. He may not be strong enough to do the deed himself, but if Myra was the one saying they should get a divorce he would for sure be like "~oh no ~how sad ~but if you think thats best honey..."

So yeah. Not much of a threat.

Myra threatening to hurt herself though... every time Eddie seems to be getting a bit of independence (making friends at work, getting interested in a hobby that doesn't include her, telling her that she's being unreasonable) and god forbid, maybe even thinking of leaving her... well "how can you do this to me Eddie?! You know what the doctor says about my delicate mental condition? Maybe you don't care about me at all? Maybe you would rather I were dead? Maybe I should just not be here so you can live your perfect Myra-less life?"

And well, Eddie is not a monster. He would never want anyone to actually die.

In my perfect world, Eddie returns to Derry, remembers the six loves of his life. Falls in love all over again. LIVES. Suddenly understands and has the strength to call Myra's bluff. Telephones her from the hospital (where he and his lovers are recovering) to announce their separation. And says "If you must, you must dear" and hangs up when Myra starts spouting her bullshit about killing herself.

I still like your idea of him then pawning the ring, blocking Myra on everything, saying he wants "nothing" in the divorce (all the good memories from his childhood and of his father are locked away in a storage facility anyway since Myra didn't like having them around the house), and never talking to her again (letting the lawyers sort out the details).

Thank you @zelinksupporter. That was nice to think about. 🥰

[tikycuki]

tw sui!!

ok that's it I'm killing myself.

my parents do nothing but insult me. I can't keep up with schoolwork. I'm always stressed. I've been like this since I was the ripe age of 8 years old. tomorrow, when I'm home alone, I'm going to leave. im not going to school. I'm running away to end it all.

[roromir]

What Happened to the Cast of Storm Chasers?

I wanted to know, so now I do, and so do you.

2023 was an active storm season in the United States. In early March, a historic outbreak spawned 35 tornadoes across the Midwest, including at least four tornadoes in Indiana. This event rekindled my interest in weather watching and severe weather, something I’ve been fascinated and spooked by since I was in elementary school. I found an online community of weather enthusiasts and began watching…

[lovefrombegonia]

This was inspired by this post. This is me overcoming my Bruce Wayne bias and trying to see a different pov. But my post is still gonna be Bruce-centric, so, did I really overcame? Idc. This is gonna be BRUCE-CENTRIC, just in case people don't want to read that. Also, it's gonna have disturbing themes.

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt, Suicidal feelings, Suicidal thoughts

I have a love-hate relationship with that post. I LOVE Bruce so much. He is my comfort father figure LOL

But also...this is a very compelling angle. And the angst lover in me wants to see how Bruce reacts to it too.

Maybe when he comes back, he sees how his family and Gotham as a whole is doing so much better. It breaks him. Just like it breaks us all when we find out how we are not really as much of a good person or good family member as we thought we were. I know that feeling. The guilt, the despair...it kills me. I can't imagine how much it kills Bruce after he realises how much he has neglected his family and how he is their ruin. How his family is so much happier without him.

At first he was angry. He felt betrayed. He felt wronged. How can his family abandon him like that. But his conscience stopped him. Coz slowly he realized, they did love him. They loved him so much. But he was not a good father or a good mentor. Or even a good person. He too had abandoned his kids so many times. Over his rules and his mission, had he not?? He was supposed to love them and be there for them. All he did was make things worse...

He wanted to go back and make it better. Apologize to them. Beg them to give him a chance. But then he realized, he will just make it worse. No matter what, he can't change WHAT he is. If he goes back, he might still keep Gotham first. He might not be able to help himself. Lord knows, his own past actions are proof enough. His mere presence might also push Tim further into guilt too maybe. (he finds out Tim knew Bruce is alive but chose not to do that and put his family first. Idk how B finds out. Make something up. As you can see, I am not much of a writer 😔.) So, Bruce also, for the first time in his life probably, decided to put his kids first.

He walks away from Gotham. He walks away from Batman. The world is a better place without him. And Bruce is OK with it, surprisingly. Maybe he was tired of himself too. No. He has always been tired of himself. But until this point, he was too egoistic to accept that.

He also knows himself. Knows he can't stay from Gotham for long. So, he needs to find a permanent solution. He goes back in time, to an unimportant timeline with Dr. Fate's help. He is tired of his own failures and wrong doings. This is the only place of comfort he knows, strangely, the only place he is sure of will never leave him alone. The only sense of permanence in his life. He walks into the crime alley. He won't come back again.

[harrygoeswest]

I’ve got 15 minutes left of today and it’s the only day I want to talk about this. Please do not read if you are easily triggered.

On the 23rd December a good friend of mine, Tom, took his own life. I know people say this about everyone who commits suicide, but Tom was a really special person. He was grumpy, he was moody, he was kind, he was considerate and above everything he cared about the people he loved.

Tom was my ex-boyfriend’s housemate. They were both at home when he took his life. I hadn’t seen Tom since August, when I was going through my own mental struggles dealing with my mum’s illness. I got drunk at his bar with a friend until I was inconsolable on the bathroom floor. Tom put the entire bathroom out of order so that no one would see the state I was in until my friend could get me out. Tom texted me the next morning to make sure I was okay.

I had no idea just how badly Tom was struggling, and it’s had an impact on me since I’ve found out the news. People like Tom don’t realise how many people love them and depend on them. The outpouring of love since he passed has been immense.

Today is Tom’s 28th birthday. As a gift, I’d like to remind everyone, including those who have, who are currently, and who might in the future go through something like Tom did, that there are resources out there to help. No one should be made to feel like Tom did, to feel like they don’t have another choice. I’ve linked below a website that lists multiple hotlines in the UK and in the US.

If you are not in the UK or the US and would like help, I am open to chat to and to find the right resources for you!

We are finally putting Tom to rest on the 3rd February. Happy Birthday, friend ❤️

[fatecanberewritten]

He had lived until that moment by that blind faith that breeds a grim integrity. This faith was deserting him, this integrity was failing him. Everything he had believed was disintegrating. Truths he did not want to recognize obsessed him unrelentingly. He must from now on be a different man. He suffered the strange pangs of a conscience that has suddenly undergone a cataract operation. He saw what he shrank from seeing. He felt drained, useless, out of joint with his past life, dismissed, dissolved. Authority was dead within him. He no longer had any reason for being.

Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (transl. C. Donougher)