This blog is dedicated to going through the House of Night series page by page, poorly constructed sentence by poorly constructed sentence. We will examine improper grammar, awkward wording, and many unfortunate implications.
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That is a WAY more interesting interpretation of canon than anything the Casts have ever intentionally produced. Like, you could regard Zoey and Kevin ending up at the HoN as a rare exception because of their specific circumstances: living off-reserve in a predominantly white community very close to a major HoN. Even the fact that they come from a well-off household and the privileges that affords could be a factor.
In House of Night news, it has suddenly occurred to me (far later than it should have) that the Tulsa House of Night, located in a state with at least three major Native nations and reservations, where more than 7% of the population is Native, has only one named Native character in attendance - Zoey Redbird.
My good friends, what the fuck.
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Technically, in later books, you can add Rephaim, and in Other World, both Other Zoey and Other Kevin attend (although Other Zoey swiftly dies, so 🤷♀️). But, yeah, those numbers are low.
It makes the whole "omg Zoey is so super special for being Marked and indigenous!!!" extra icky. Like, what do you mean this has never happened before/is rare? Especially in this specific location?
In House of Night news, it has suddenly occurred to me (far later than it should have) that the Tulsa House of Night, located in a state with at least three major Native nations and reservations, where more than 7% of the population is Native, has only one named Native character in attendance - Zoey Redbird.
My good friends, what the fuck.
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I've been looking back through old posts and, hot take: Zoey should've murdered Thanatos to release the spell.
Like, "You guided us through a Reveal Ritual without telling us it required a sacrificial death in order for us to be released from the spell? Alright. Guess you have to die for manipulating me into a situation where I'm supposed to murder one of my friends :)"
(In reference to this post.)
Exactly! When Neferet performs sacrificial rituals to achieve power or complete spells in the name of Darkness, it’s evil, but no one bats an eye when Thanatos tricks a bunch of CHILDREN into performing such a ritual.
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The gay man we could have gotten: Orym of the Air Ashari
The gay man we got: a bunch of homophobic jokes wrapped around a hollow shell that spits out exposition when Zoey pokes him.
Missed opportunity: Damien could have been a total badass and combined his fencing skills with wind magic.
But he's gay, so obviously he can't be a skilled Warrior 🙄
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Exactly. Damien had the potential to be a really interesting character, especially in the context of vampyres' views on gender and alleged queernormativity. But P.C. Cast never meaningfully grapples with conversations about gender, queerness, and politics - these things only exist for drama or cheap laughs.
Missed opportunity: Damien could have been a total badass and combined his fencing skills with wind magic.
But he's gay, so obviously he can't be a skilled Warrior 🙄
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Missed opportunity: Damien could have been a total badass and combined his fencing skills with wind magic.
But he's gay, so obviously he can't be a skilled Warrior 🙄
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Also the Isle of Skye and a fledgling named Skye.
Overall Thoughts on the House of Night Series
By my standards, this series failed in basically every way possible - except monetary success.
The characters are poorly developed, the majority of them fulfilling shallow archetypes or offensive stereotypes with minimal nuance or meaningful exploration. This is true even of major characters, particularly Damien, Stevie Rae, Shaunee, and even Aphrodite.
Much as Aphrodite is beloved by haters and fans alike for her hardships and ability to actually tell off Zoey on occasion, she's ultimately just the lovable bitch/mean-girl-turned-best-friend trope and sees little thoughtful development. We're told that she changes, such as when she declares that she doesn't want to be like her mother and opts not to mix Xanax and wine - but then she's back to the same "substance abuse for laughs" shtick in the next book. Aphrodite's only actual, consistent change is that she stops hating Zoey and considers her a close friend. But otherwise? She's still a quintessential mean girl. She insults people for how they dress, looks down on the poor, bickers and picks fights with everyone, and - oh yeah - is racist, ableist, and queerphobic. Because it's "funny".
Personally? I think Aphrodite is one of the most despisable characters in the series, specifically because a) she has all the makings of a great character with huge potential for complexity and development, b) we're told she goes through incredible growth and change without really being shown it, and c) she's a raging bigot and that's meant to be funny/charming.
I've talked at length about how Zoey, Kalona, and Neferet are giant disappointments as characters, so I won't harp on that here. The main takeaway is that P.C. Cast doesn't know how to establish interesting, nuanced characters, and she certainly has no idea how to develop the cardboard cutouts she does introduce.
It doesn't help that this series has so many characters. A lot of them introduced once and then promptly forgotten. Remember Hannah Honeyyeager? Red? Montoya? Ant? Enyo? Sappho? Kaci Crump? Yeah, I don't blame you if you can't recall more than one detail about any of these characters - if you can even remember anything about them at all.
I can understand wanting to make the series feel well-populated, seeing as it is set in a school in a major city. But there are ways to do that without it feeling like the author just picks fifteen names out of a hat at the beginning of each book and throws them into the text at random intervals. The end result is that the HoN doesn't feel well-populated; it feels cluttered.
The overabundance of meaningless characters leads to other problems, too. Namely... well, names. One great example of this is Shaunee Cole having a thing for Cole Clifton. That's ridiculous, especially because no one ever comments on it, despite this being the exact sort of oddity that these characters would banter about for at least a page. P.C. Cast just didn’t notice she did that. There's plenty of other examples of identical or extremely similar names throughout the series, such as:
Zoey's brother Kevin and Detective Kevin Marx
Erik and Erin
Neferet the person and Nefertiti the cat
Shaylin and Shaunee
Drew (human) and Drew (fledgling)
Kaci Crump, Cassie Kramme, Casey Young, and Kacie Lockwood (from the Other World spinoff)
Even Damien and Darius are a bit close. The author mixed up their names in narration at one point, and it was never caught during the editing process.
(It's also worth noting that P.C. and Kristin have stated that, if the HoN TV show ever comes to fruition, Shaunee and Erin's names will be changed to Monique and Misty.* Monique is already the name of a Priestess working under Damien at the NYHoN in Loved.)
This is only made more absurd when you remember that every single fledgling and vampyre - all these people who got Marked as teenagers - have complete freedom to change their name to whatever they want. Why are there three fledglings named some variation of Cassie (only Casey is human)? Where are all the kids naming themselves Destiny and Ebony and Serendipity? Why aren't more kids named after their favourite celebrities or characters? You're telling me not a single teenage boy named himself Mike Hawk? Where are the kids who gave themselves four middle names because it sounds fancy, or who made their initials into an acronym?
The number of characters who did something like this is very small: Aphrodite, Jack Twist, James Stark, Venus, and Thor are the only ones I can immediately think of. Frankly, that's absurd.
I know exactly why it's Iike that, though. PC Cast isn't thinking about world-building and internal logic when she names her characters. Instead, she regularly names her characters after real people she knows. Here is a non-exhaustive list of such names:
Shaunee Cole
Erin Bates
Damien Maslin (specifically the last name)
Seoras
Cassie Kramme**
Chera Kimiko
Adam Paluka
Mr. Shaddox
Bryan "Dragon" Lankford
Anastasia Lankford
(On a somewhat related note, both P.C. and Kristin both have multiple self-inserts throughout the original and spinoff series. For P.C., it's Sgiach and Tina. For Kristin, it's Zoey and Kacie. This is mostly harmless - except Tina. Tina is literary brown face, because the white author made her self-insert indigenous, specifically Creek. Otherwise, these self-inserts just end up glorified and coddled.)
This kind of offhandedness and carelessness with world-building plagues the series. It's why historical figures are casually mentioned to be vampyres with no thought to how that would actually impact history. It's why the author says, "yeah, all the best actors and singers are vampyres" but then never considers how different media would look if all the most famous entertainers were nocturnal and allergic to the sun. It's why only a handful of countries have large vampyre populations and many of them (such as Italy and Greece) are known to be incredibly sunny and have long days and long summers, while places like Canada are far less populated despite vampyres being minimally affected by the cold. It's why there's 25 HoNs in the world, seven of which are in the US, while only three are in Asia, one is in Africa, and there are none mentioned in Russia or South America. It's why there's only one HoN in Canada despite it being an enormous country that is difficult to travel because of terrain (mountains, wetlands, tundra), weather, and sheer size.
And the thing is, I can excuse Rule of Cool world-building, or world-building that is shallow/poorly thought out. But the execution and context matter. All throughout the text, there's this very clear vibe that the author thinks she has built this incredibly rich, detailed world that is well-researched and grounded in reality while still being fantastical. In reality, the world-building is about as deep and sturdy as a list of bullet points on a wet napkin: It's not detailed, half of it is unintelligible, and it's gonna fall apart if you put even the slightest pressure on it.
I think a great demonstration of both poorly thought out world-building and poorly developed characters is Nyx. She is a loving goddess who prizes free will and thus operates under the principle of non-interference - but she spent eons gaslighting Kalona and all of vampyre society; regularly pops in to give special powers, helpful hints, or immediate solutions to specific fledglings/vampyres if she likes them enough; openly plays favourites; and gives fledglings extremely cruel, painful, or confusing gifts with no explanation as to why said gifts work the way they do. Why is Stark able to accidentally kill someone because of a metaphor he didn't intend to use? Why do visions cause Aphrodite's eyes to bleed? It's also fundamentally unclear what she wants at numerous points throughout the series.
Much of Neferet's descent into evil and success in committing horrific atrocities comes down to the fact that a) Nyx decided that this was the situation in which she wasn't going to give Zoey or anyone else clear warnings or visions about specifically what Neferet was doing, and b) she refused to rescind any of Neferet's gifts, even when she was using them to hurt people and create undead abominations, and had completely turned her back on Nyx in favour of Darkness.
(This is only compounded by the events of the Other World spinoff, wherein Nyx responds to OG Neferet's crimes by erasing her soul from existence so she can never reincarnate or be resurrected. So, I guess she can interfere where she sees fit? She also reduces Other Neferet and a bunch of her soldiers to children so they can have a second chance [horrifying], and causes a bunch of people to instantly complete the Change - including Other Lynette, who was a human. That seems like a lot of very direct interference.)
I also need to acknowledge how absolutely nonsensical the plot of this series is. Like, even just looking at the (intended) core premise of each book, it's all over the place.
Marked: Zoey is Marked and must learn to navigate her new life as a fledgling, which includes discovering she is the Chosen One and ousting mean girl Aphrodite from her position as glorified Student Council President.
Betrayed: Neferet is acting suspicious, which includes accusing Aphrodite of lying about her visions, and being connected to undead fledglings Zoey has spotted around campus.
Chosen: Zoey must heal undead Stevie Rae while also juggling three boyfriends and lying to her friends about all of it.
Untamed: Creepy ravens are all over campus. Aphrodite gets a vision that reveals these are Raven Mockers and Neferet intends to free Kalona from his earthly prison.
Hunted: Kalona and Neferet have brainwashed pretty much everyone at the Tulsa HoN. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to break the spell or get rid of them.
Tempted: After being banished from Tulsa and unable to continue their reign over the HoN, Kalona and Neferet tell the High Council that they are Erebus and Nyx incarnate, and thus Neferet should be the new High Priestess of all vampyres. Zoey goes to the High Council to say they're lying.
Burned: Zoey is shattered in the Otherworld and everyone is trying to save her.
Awakened: Neferet murders Jack so Zoey will stop frolicking on the Isle of Skye and return to Tulsa. Once Zoey returns, Neferet pretends she's a good guy and asks for her forgiveness.
Destined: Zoey's mother had been ritually sacrificed by Neferet to create a living weapon, so Zoey and co. perform a reveal ritual to show how Zoey's mother was murdered.
Hidden: After being shunned by the High Council, Neferet kidnaps Zoey's grandma as vengeance. Neferet is also working a smear campaign against the HoN on local news, which Zoey and co. counteract by doing an interview badmouthing Neferet and announcing an open house on campus.
Revealed: Neferet murders the mayor outside the gates of the HoN, so the school is on lockdown until they can prove that no one living/working there killed him. The Seer Stone is making Zoey increasingly short-tempered and violent.
Redeemed: Neferet takes over a fancy hotel and declares all the hostages her worshippers. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to use Old Magick to stop an immortal without it making Zoey go mad.
Does any of that seem like a logical progression/escalation of events? This isn't even touching on all the random boy drama, abandoned subplots, or nonsensical digressions that only serve to pad the text.
What the author seemingly intended to craft was a Chosen One coming-of-age narrative about a young girl who always felt out of place finding belonging at the HoN while navigating romantic relationships, learning to be a leader, and joining the battle against Darkness.
What we got was a spoiled, selfish brat who complains about every privilege and inconvenience that falls into her lap, who refuses to do anything hard or unpleasant to the point that she repeatedly cheats and leads on her boyfriends, who never takes initiative, and who largely has her problems solved by her subservient friends or a literal goddess.
But it shouldn't be surprising that the plot is all over the place and fails to fulfill the intended themes/messages of the series, because information about P.C. Cast's writing process for the series is also quite inconsistent. Originally, the series was only meant to be a trilogy, but got picked up for more books. However, in a Reddit AMA***, Kristin Cast claims:
We plotted out the story arch, and it naturally ended with twelve books. We also had a per book word count we had to follow, which is why our books aren't as long as other YA novels. However, I don't think anything was rushed. It was all planned from the beginning, and was executed amazingly!
But in several interviews (can only find a couple**** because they were audio/video, not text), P.C. Cast has referenced going rogue - meaning she deviated from the outline. Stark was meant to be Stevie Rae's love interest, Rephaim was supposed to die when Stevie Rae found him, etc. These represent HUGE alterations to the plot, so obviously the whole plot couldn't have been planned from the beginning, nor could everything be executed as intended.
P.C. Cast has also stated that she hates outlining, but Kristin makes her do a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline when they actually co-write. When P.C. writes solo, she knows the beginning, the end, and a bunch of pieces in the middle, and then figures it out from there (which sounds like a plantser style). Given that Kristin wasn't involved in the planning process - she didn't even look at the outlines of the original series because, as an editor, she wanted completely fresh eyes for the text - she couldn't have been the one pushing for a thorough outline of the whole series before P.C. began writing.
And that's not even getting into the fact that P.C. has stated the series was originally planned as a trilogy, which is evident from how the first three books were written. She couldn't have planned a twelve book series because she had no reason to assume she would be able to publish more than three books.
I wish I had a more satisfying conclusion to offer here, but... that's kind of the problem with talking about this series. The problems both span so wide and run so deep that it feels impossible to actually cover everything. I've made tens of thousands of posts - including in-depth analyses of plot, character, world-building, and writing - for every single book in this series, and I still feel like I haven't covered everything.
*Discussed here, around 17:00
**Google searches show this is a real person who attended the same school PC taught at
***Reddit AMA
****PC Cast interview, q&a
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Reblogging this because I missed two sets of near identical names:
Kayla (Zoey's former best friend) and Karla (a girl Other Kevin used to have a thing for)
Jenn Amala (Other Heath's girlfriend) and Jenna (the Neferet-worshipper representing air)
Another Neferet-worshipper is Kelsey, which could arguably lumped in with all the Cassie-like names
Overall Thoughts on the House of Night Series
By my standards, this series failed in basically every way possible - except monetary success.
The characters are poorly developed, the majority of them fulfilling shallow archetypes or offensive stereotypes with minimal nuance or meaningful exploration. This is true even of major characters, particularly Damien, Stevie Rae, Shaunee, and even Aphrodite.
Much as Aphrodite is beloved by haters and fans alike for her hardships and ability to actually tell off Zoey on occasion, she's ultimately just the lovable bitch/mean-girl-turned-best-friend trope and sees little thoughtful development. We're told that she changes, such as when she declares that she doesn't want to be like her mother and opts not to mix Xanax and wine - but then she's back to the same "substance abuse for laughs" shtick in the next book. Aphrodite's only actual, consistent change is that she stops hating Zoey and considers her a close friend. But otherwise? She's still a quintessential mean girl. She insults people for how they dress, looks down on the poor, bickers and picks fights with everyone, and - oh yeah - is racist, ableist, and queerphobic. Because it's "funny".
Personally? I think Aphrodite is one of the most despisable characters in the series, specifically because a) she has all the makings of a great character with huge potential for complexity and development, b) we're told she goes through incredible growth and change without really being shown it, and c) she's a raging bigot and that's meant to be funny/charming.
I've talked at length about how Zoey, Kalona, and Neferet are giant disappointments as characters, so I won't harp on that here. The main takeaway is that P.C. Cast doesn't know how to establish interesting, nuanced characters, and she certainly has no idea how to develop the cardboard cutouts she does introduce.
It doesn't help that this series has so many characters. A lot of them introduced once and then promptly forgotten. Remember Hannah Honeyyeager? Red? Montoya? Ant? Enyo? Sappho? Kaci Crump? Yeah, I don't blame you if you can't recall more than one detail about any of these characters - if you can even remember anything about them at all.
I can understand wanting to make the series feel well-populated, seeing as it is set in a school in a major city. But there are ways to do that without it feeling like the author just picks fifteen names out of a hat at the beginning of each book and throws them into the text at random intervals. The end result is that the HoN doesn't feel well-populated; it feels cluttered.
The overabundance of meaningless characters leads to other problems, too. Namely... well, names. One great example of this is Shaunee Cole having a thing for Cole Clifton. That's ridiculous, especially because no one ever comments on it, despite this being the exact sort of oddity that these characters would banter about for at least a page. P.C. Cast just didn’t notice she did that. There's plenty of other examples of identical or extremely similar names throughout the series, such as:
Zoey's brother Kevin and Detective Kevin Marx
Erik and Erin
Neferet the person and Nefertiti the cat
Shaylin and Shaunee
Drew (human) and Drew (fledgling)
Kaci Crump, Cassie Kramme, Casey Young, and Kacie Lockwood (from the Other World spinoff)
Even Damien and Darius are a bit close. The author mixed up their names in narration at one point, and it was never caught during the editing process.
(It's also worth noting that P.C. and Kristin have stated that, if the HoN TV show ever comes to fruition, Shaunee and Erin's names will be changed to Monique and Misty.* Monique is already the name of a Priestess working under Damien at the NYHoN in Loved.)
This is only made more absurd when you remember that every single fledgling and vampyre - all these people who got Marked as teenagers - have complete freedom to change their name to whatever they want. Why are there three fledglings named some variation of Cassie (only Casey is human)? Where are all the kids naming themselves Destiny and Ebony and Serendipity? Why aren't more kids named after their favourite celebrities or characters? You're telling me not a single teenage boy named himself Mike Hawk? Where are the kids who gave themselves four middle names because it sounds fancy, or who made their initials into an acronym?
The number of characters who did something like this is very small: Aphrodite, Jack Twist, James Stark, Venus, and Thor are the only ones I can immediately think of. Frankly, that's absurd.
I know exactly why it's Iike that, though. PC Cast isn't thinking about world-building and internal logic when she names her characters. Instead, she regularly names her characters after real people she knows. Here is a non-exhaustive list of such names:
Shaunee Cole
Erin Bates
Damien Maslin (specifically the last name)
Seoras
Cassie Kramme**
Chera Kimiko
Adam Paluka
Mr. Shaddox
Bryan "Dragon" Lankford
Anastasia Lankford
(On a somewhat related note, both P.C. and Kristin both have multiple self-inserts throughout the original and spinoff series. For P.C., it's Sgiach and Tina. For Kristin, it's Zoey and Kacie. This is mostly harmless - except Tina. Tina is literary brown face, because the white author made her self-insert indigenous, specifically Creek. Otherwise, these self-inserts just end up glorified and coddled.)
This kind of offhandedness and carelessness with world-building plagues the series. It's why historical figures are casually mentioned to be vampyres with no thought to how that would actually impact history. It's why the author says, "yeah, all the best actors and singers are vampyres" but then never considers how different media would look if all the most famous entertainers were nocturnal and allergic to the sun. It's why only a handful of countries have large vampyre populations and many of them (such as Italy and Greece) are known to be incredibly sunny and have long days and long summers, while places like Canada are far less populated despite vampyres being minimally affected by the cold. It's why there's 25 HoNs in the world, seven of which are in the US, while only three are in Asia, one is in Africa, and there are none mentioned in Russia or South America. It's why there's only one HoN in Canada despite it being an enormous country that is difficult to travel because of terrain (mountains, wetlands, tundra), weather, and sheer size.
And the thing is, I can excuse Rule of Cool world-building, or world-building that is shallow/poorly thought out. But the execution and context matter. All throughout the text, there's this very clear vibe that the author thinks she has built this incredibly rich, detailed world that is well-researched and grounded in reality while still being fantastical. In reality, the world-building is about as deep and sturdy as a list of bullet points on a wet napkin: It's not detailed, half of it is unintelligible, and it's gonna fall apart if you put even the slightest pressure on it.
I think a great demonstration of both poorly thought out world-building and poorly developed characters is Nyx. She is a loving goddess who prizes free will and thus operates under the principle of non-interference - but she spent eons gaslighting Kalona and all of vampyre society; regularly pops in to give special powers, helpful hints, or immediate solutions to specific fledglings/vampyres if she likes them enough; openly plays favourites; and gives fledglings extremely cruel, painful, or confusing gifts with no explanation as to why said gifts work the way they do. Why is Stark able to accidentally kill someone because of a metaphor he didn't intend to use? Why do visions cause Aphrodite's eyes to bleed? It's also fundamentally unclear what she wants at numerous points throughout the series.
Much of Neferet's descent into evil and success in committing horrific atrocities comes down to the fact that a) Nyx decided that this was the situation in which she wasn't going to give Zoey or anyone else clear warnings or visions about specifically what Neferet was doing, and b) she refused to rescind any of Neferet's gifts, even when she was using them to hurt people and create undead abominations, and had completely turned her back on Nyx in favour of Darkness.
(This is only compounded by the events of the Other World spinoff, wherein Nyx responds to OG Neferet's crimes by erasing her soul from existence so she can never reincarnate or be resurrected. So, I guess she can interfere where she sees fit? She also reduces Other Neferet and a bunch of her soldiers to children so they can have a second chance [horrifying], and causes a bunch of people to instantly complete the Change - including Other Lynette, who was a human. That seems like a lot of very direct interference.)
I also need to acknowledge how absolutely nonsensical the plot of this series is. Like, even just looking at the (intended) core premise of each book, it's all over the place.
Marked: Zoey is Marked and must learn to navigate her new life as a fledgling, which includes discovering she is the Chosen One and ousting mean girl Aphrodite from her position as glorified Student Council President.
Betrayed: Neferet is acting suspicious, which includes accusing Aphrodite of lying about her visions, and being connected to undead fledglings Zoey has spotted around campus.
Chosen: Zoey must heal undead Stevie Rae while also juggling three boyfriends and lying to her friends about all of it.
Untamed: Creepy ravens are all over campus. Aphrodite gets a vision that reveals these are Raven Mockers and Neferet intends to free Kalona from his earthly prison.
Hunted: Kalona and Neferet have brainwashed pretty much everyone at the Tulsa HoN. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to break the spell or get rid of them.
Tempted: After being banished from Tulsa and unable to continue their reign over the HoN, Kalona and Neferet tell the High Council that they are Erebus and Nyx incarnate, and thus Neferet should be the new High Priestess of all vampyres. Zoey goes to the High Council to say they're lying.
Burned: Zoey is shattered in the Otherworld and everyone is trying to save her.
Awakened: Neferet murders Jack so Zoey will stop frolicking on the Isle of Skye and return to Tulsa. Once Zoey returns, Neferet pretends she's a good guy and asks for her forgiveness.
Destined: Zoey's mother had been ritually sacrificed by Neferet to create a living weapon, so Zoey and co. perform a reveal ritual to show how Zoey's mother was murdered.
Hidden: After being shunned by the High Council, Neferet kidnaps Zoey's grandma as vengeance. Neferet is also working a smear campaign against the HoN on local news, which Zoey and co. counteract by doing an interview badmouthing Neferet and announcing an open house on campus.
Revealed: Neferet murders the mayor outside the gates of the HoN, so the school is on lockdown until they can prove that no one living/working there killed him. The Seer Stone is making Zoey increasingly short-tempered and violent.
Redeemed: Neferet takes over a fancy hotel and declares all the hostages her worshippers. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to use Old Magick to stop an immortal without it making Zoey go mad.
Does any of that seem like a logical progression/escalation of events? This isn't even touching on all the random boy drama, abandoned subplots, or nonsensical digressions that only serve to pad the text.
What the author seemingly intended to craft was a Chosen One coming-of-age narrative about a young girl who always felt out of place finding belonging at the HoN while navigating romantic relationships, learning to be a leader, and joining the battle against Darkness.
What we got was a spoiled, selfish brat who complains about every privilege and inconvenience that falls into her lap, who refuses to do anything hard or unpleasant to the point that she repeatedly cheats and leads on her boyfriends, who never takes initiative, and who largely has her problems solved by her subservient friends or a literal goddess.
But it shouldn't be surprising that the plot is all over the place and fails to fulfill the intended themes/messages of the series, because information about P.C. Cast's writing process for the series is also quite inconsistent. Originally, the series was only meant to be a trilogy, but got picked up for more books. However, in a Reddit AMA***, Kristin Cast claims:
We plotted out the story arch, and it naturally ended with twelve books. We also had a per book word count we had to follow, which is why our books aren't as long as other YA novels. However, I don't think anything was rushed. It was all planned from the beginning, and was executed amazingly!
But in several interviews (can only find a couple**** because they were audio/video, not text), P.C. Cast has referenced going rogue - meaning she deviated from the outline. Stark was meant to be Stevie Rae's love interest, Rephaim was supposed to die when Stevie Rae found him, etc. These represent HUGE alterations to the plot, so obviously the whole plot couldn't have been planned from the beginning, nor could everything be executed as intended.
P.C. Cast has also stated that she hates outlining, but Kristin makes her do a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline when they actually co-write. When P.C. writes solo, she knows the beginning, the end, and a bunch of pieces in the middle, and then figures it out from there (which sounds like a plantser style). Given that Kristin wasn't involved in the planning process - she didn't even look at the outlines of the original series because, as an editor, she wanted completely fresh eyes for the text - she couldn't have been the one pushing for a thorough outline of the whole series before P.C. began writing.
And that's not even getting into the fact that P.C. has stated the series was originally planned as a trilogy, which is evident from how the first three books were written. She couldn't have planned a twelve book series because she had no reason to assume she would be able to publish more than three books.
I wish I had a more satisfying conclusion to offer here, but... that's kind of the problem with talking about this series. The problems both span so wide and run so deep that it feels impossible to actually cover everything. I've made tens of thousands of posts - including in-depth analyses of plot, character, world-building, and writing - for every single book in this series, and I still feel like I haven't covered everything.
*Discussed here, around 17:00
**Google searches show this is a real person who attended the same school PC taught at
***Reddit AMA
****PC Cast interview, q&a
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Very random thought that I can't remember if I ever explored here:
Rather than shoehorning in a romance between Other Kevin and Other Shaunee,
Rather than writing out Shaylin (one of very few queer characters) as an excuse to introduce Kacie so she could be Other Stark's love interest instead of Zoey/Other Zoey,
PC Cast should have made Kevin and Stark date each other.
Like, they have so much to bond over in losing their "loves" (at least as far as this series is concerned) before they truly got to know them, and their guilt about the horrors they were part of while serving Other Neferet's army. Kevin is the Otherworld's version of Zoey, and in the original series, Zoey describes Stark as her soulmate. It would make the scene where Stark is getting cut up to enter the Other World and Kevin has to call on spirit and love to join him more impactful, because it would be his love for Other Aphrodite and his growing feelings for Stark both pulling him to the same place. It would give us actual fucking bi rep that isn't full of sex shaming (Other Erin) or just a one-off character who is immediately killed (Odin).
But P.C. Cast is a COWARD, so of course we can't have nice things 🙄
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Random thought:
If Nyx giving Damien a feminine air affinity demonstrates her acceptance of his homosexuality, what does Jack's affinity for technology mean? Or did P.C. forget about affinities being gendered and Nyx regarding gay men as essentially the same as women?
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#please opt-out if you've reblogged any of my posts before#i'd prefer not to have my commentary and analysis used to train AI
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Other Critiques of P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast's Work
(This is non-exhaustive. Feel free to reblog with more examples if you have them.)
I've received a few asks over the years wondering if I will similarly tear apart P.C. and Kristin's other works. And while I'm sure that would be fun, I simply don't have the time at this point. I also know that it can be hard to found good, thorough critiques of their work. So I figured it might be nice to compile a little list!
For simplicity's sake, I'll organize by series/work.
House of Night
Alizee's HoN rant reviews [x]
Fangs For The Fantasy [x][x][x]
Tales of a New World
Goodreads reviews [x][x]
Fangs For The Fantasy [x][x]
Sisters of Salem
Long form reviews [x][x][x]
Into the Mist
Long form reviews [x][x]
Draw Down the Moon
Long form reviews [x]
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What might a better version of this series look like? I don't think it needs to be 12 books long - not even close. I think, if we were to tighten things up, the series could look something like this:
Book 1:
This is essentially Marked, Betrayed, and Chosen condensed together.
The first act is Zoey being Marked, arriving at the HoN, meeting all the important players, and starting to see the core pieces of the plot: Aphrodite's corruption as leader of the DD, Neferet hiding something, undead fledgling sightings, and trying to date two guys at once without them finding out (Loren can be completely omitted).
The middle chunk of the book would be Zoey navigating the discovery of her affinities, trying to oust Aphrodite from the DD, and Stevie Rae's sudden death. When Aphrodite has a vision implicating Neferet, Neferet declares her visions false and plays at the idea that she has been listening to Zoey's accusations all along, even though she plainly hasn't. Aphrodite reluctantly turns to Zoey, since her vision involved Neferet resurrecting Stevie Rae. Her description of undead Stevie Rae matches the other undead sightings Zoey has experienced, and the two realize that no one else will believe them unless they find proof.
When Heath gets taken, Zoey is able to trace him through their Imprint, leads her friends to where the undead fledglings are hiding without explaining what they're doing, and realizes too late that a bunch of lies and secrets are about to converge in a way that looks bad on her: cheating on her boyfriends, not disclosing the sightings of undead fledglings, secretly working with Aphrodite after ousting her, and knowing Stevie Rae is alive. They're able to heal Stevie Rae through circle magic and a (willing, intentional) sacrifice from Aphrodite, but Zoey loses both her boyfriends and the trust of all but Aphrodite and Stevie Rae in the process.
Book 2
A condensed version of Untamed and Hunted.
Zoey actually works to make reparations with her friends. Trust and honesty would be a throughline in the book.
She meets Stark, knows him for a few days, and part of the reason she becomes so attached to him so quickly is because she's lonely after losing her boyfriends and the trust of her friends. This is compounded by Aphrodite not being campus after losing her Marks and Stevie Rae not being on campus because she's still supposed to be dead and they don't want Neferet finding out what they did. This closeness makes it actually devastating when dies.
The ravens on campus are becoming increasingly volatile and vocal, Aphrodite has her vision, they learn who Kalona is and that he's on the path to being freed. (I would argue that Kalona and his attachment to ravens could be maintained, but there's no need to root it in bastardized Cherokee mythology and history. Like, just change his name.) There could also be something about the ritual to free him almost failing because Stevie Rae is herself again and refuses to obey Neferet, but Stark's magical aim means she can't actually hide or flee.
When Kalona is freed, Zoey and co. flee to safety in the tunnels where they recently found Stevie Rae. Zoey brings Heath with them because, boyfriend or not, she can't risk him getting hurt. However, their stay is brief, as Zoey realizes that they abandoned everyone else on campus to endure whatever hell awaits them. Zoey returns to campus of her own volition and works to save Stark like she saved Stevie Rae, and to banish Kalona and Neferet. Her determination to protect others at her own risk is what finally wins her friends completely back to her side.
When Neferet commands Stark to shoot Zoey's heart, he non-lethally shoots Heath. Though the wound is not immediately deadly, he is still bleeding heavily, and they can't reach the hospital because of the ice storm, so Zoey closes the wound with her saliva. That small taste of his blood reforms their Imprint.
Book 3
A condensed version of Tempted and Burned.
Zoey learns that Neferet had already been speaking of heading to Capri before she was banished, so she and several members of her circle head there in hopes of preventing her from swaying the High Council. Stevie Rae goes with them in this version, and Kalona has summoned some of his strongest Raven Mockers to his side in secret, including Rephaim.
Stark doesn't want Zoey to leave and tries to swear an Oath to her, but she doesn't immediately accept it because she's still torn about him shooting Heath even if it was to save her, plus her reformed Imprint makes her feel like she shouldn't entertain anymore intense, magical bonds with other guys right now. She has learned her lesson about cheating. Seeing two people at once is a serious commitment that needs to be considered and talked out carefully, which they don't have time for. Stark instead swears to wait for her as long as she needs, a binding oath in its own right because of the intent behind it.
Heath goes with Zoey because their Imprint means both will experience intense emotional distress and psychic pain from being so far apart, and Zoey needs all her faculties when facing Neferet, Kalona, and the High Council.
The turning point in this book would be Kalona killing Heath and Zoey's soul shattering in grief. Neferet is triumphant and quickly moves in as High Priestess to tend to Zoey's body, returning her to Tulsa (the banishment spell is broken because Zoey shattered) and holding her in guarded isolation where her friends can't reach her. Kalona, meanwhile, feels unexpected grief at her pseudo-death, partly because of his attachment to the woman she is reincarnated from and partly because of the truths she spoke when he invaded her dreams. His loyalty to Neferet and Darkness begins to waver, though he continues to guard Zoey's body.
Stark feels Zoey shatter because it breaks the oath he swore to her, and makes it his mission to get her body free from Kalona and the Raven Mockers (whose true forms are hidden by a glamour cast by Neferet), which is part of how he proves himself truly on the side of good. As Stark repeatedly fights and falls, Kalona spares him, feeling an old mercy return as he recognizes some of his former ruthless loyalty to Nyx in Stark's determination to get to Zoey.
Where Stark resorts to repeatedly fighting and almost getting killed by an immortal, Stevie Rae tries to appeal to the hearts of the Raven Mockers. Rephaim is the only one swayed. He finds himself intrigued by Stevie Rae and increasingly looking forward to their conversations.
In the meantime, Zoey has been trapped in the Otherworld, chasing Heath's fleeting presence while fighting the disparate pieces of herself and contending with Darkness trying to corrupt her grief into malice. No one enters the Otherworld to save her; Zoey has to learn to accept her grief and all her broken pieces before she is whole enough to see Heath and say goodbye.
She returns to her body, and Neferet is primed and ready to murder her with her own bare hands. Kalona and Rephaim, however, have been brought to a precipice, and they both make their turn at the same time, fighting together to protect Zoey. Neferet is forced to flee.
Book 4
A condensed version of Revealed and Redeemed. Awakened, Destined, and Hidden can be completely cut because Jack doesn't need to die and Aurox is a completely superfluous character.
Furious that Zoey survived and Kalona betrayed her, Neferet lets go of all restraint, murdering an entire church congregation in the White Bull's name. The volume and holiness of this sacrifice of innocents is enough that the White Bull grants her temporary, conditional immortality: She needs to keep innocent blood flowing in his name. Neferet accepts these terms, but is also reticent to remain under his control. She knows there is more than one way to be a goddess, and that true worship will grant her power and immortality in her own right. Thus, she takes over the Mayo, shrouds it in impenetrable protection, and balances routine sacrifices to keep her current power and psychological manipulation to craft hostages into worshippers.
Thanatos feels the disturbance of mass death as a sacrifice to Darkness and rushes to Tulsa, bringing with her an ancient artifact from a sorely missed old friend named Sgiach: the Seer Stone. The stone will allow Zoey to wield Old Magick, but it also has a connection to Nyx's realm and the Otherworld. While trying to learn how to use it, Zoey discovers that she can see glimpses of Heath's spirit watching over her. Though she has accepted her grief, she still hasn't moved past it, and grows desperate to see Heath in whatever way she can. She starts using the Seer Stone obsessively, making demands of it instead of allowing it to show her the natural flow of energies and spirits, and the intensity of her grief and misuse of the stone leads to her downward spiral and slow corruption. She starts going to places where she and Heath used to spend a lot of time, hoping it will make his presence more potent. When she's interrupted by two humans and loses her connection with his spirit, Zoey lashes out, and the Seer Stone responds, making her magic far more volatile. Zoey immediately calls an ambulance and surrenders herself to the police.
Kalona recognizes this corruption for what it is and intervenes, persuading Zoey that if he can turn from the draw of Darkness after centuries, then she can resist the allure of grief and Old Magick. Zoey reluctantly agrees, but wants time away from the Seer Stone so she can feel like herself again.
Stark tells her he was afraid he would lose her again, and offers her his Oath. She accepts.
They work in earnest to find a way to stop Neferet, and Zoey tentatively begins dipping her toes into Old Magick again, always with supervision of someone she trusts. Before they have anything figured out with confidence, however, Neferet descends on the HoN, intent on killing Zoey once and for all. During the fight, they quickly discover that Neferet is unkillable because of the constant, feverish worship of her hostages. Kalona knows the only way to stop an immortal, and offers himself up as bait. Zoey realizes what he's doing. Kalona drags Neferet back into the broken tree that covered his earthly prison, and Zoey invokes Old Magick to bind them there indefinitely. Kalona's body remains trapped but his spirit ascends, reuniting with Nyx; Zoey and all her friends complete the Change; and Rephaim is granted a human body by Nyx.
Fin.
Now, my version is still kind of a mess because I'm trying to stay reasonably true to the source material. But I think even this rough rearrangement is leaps and bounds better than what we actually got. It honestly is pretty upsetting how much wasted potential this series has.
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Overall Thoughts on the House of Night Series
By my standards, this series failed in basically every way possible - except monetary success.
The characters are poorly developed, the majority of them fulfilling shallow archetypes or offensive stereotypes with minimal nuance or meaningful exploration. This is true even of major characters, particularly Damien, Stevie Rae, Shaunee, and even Aphrodite.
Much as Aphrodite is beloved by haters and fans alike for her hardships and ability to actually tell off Zoey on occasion, she's ultimately just the lovable bitch/mean-girl-turned-best-friend trope and sees little thoughtful development. We're told that she changes, such as when she declares that she doesn't want to be like her mother and opts not to mix Xanax and wine - but then she's back to the same "substance abuse for laughs" shtick in the next book. Aphrodite's only actual, consistent change is that she stops hating Zoey and considers her a close friend. But otherwise? She's still a quintessential mean girl. She insults people for how they dress, looks down on the poor, bickers and picks fights with everyone, and - oh yeah - is racist, ableist, and queerphobic. Because it's "funny".
Personally? I think Aphrodite is one of the most despisable characters in the series, specifically because a) she has all the makings of a great character with huge potential for complexity and development, b) we're told she goes through incredible growth and change without really being shown it, and c) she's a raging bigot and that's meant to be funny/charming.
I've talked at length about how Zoey, Kalona, and Neferet are giant disappointments as characters, so I won't harp on that here. The main takeaway is that P.C. Cast doesn't know how to establish interesting, nuanced characters, and she certainly has no idea how to develop the cardboard cutouts she does introduce.
It doesn't help that this series has so many characters. A lot of them introduced once and then promptly forgotten. Remember Hannah Honeyyeager? Red? Montoya? Ant? Enyo? Sappho? Kaci Crump? Yeah, I don't blame you if you can't recall more than one detail about any of these characters - if you can even remember anything about them at all.
I can understand wanting to make the series feel well-populated, seeing as it is set in a school in a major city. But there are ways to do that without it feeling like the author just picks fifteen names out of a hat at the beginning of each book and throws them into the text at random intervals. The end result is that the HoN doesn't feel well-populated; it feels cluttered.
The overabundance of meaningless characters leads to other problems, too. Namely... well, names. One great example of this is Shaunee Cole having a thing for Cole Clifton. That's ridiculous, especially because no one ever comments on it, despite this being the exact sort of oddity that these characters would banter about for at least a page. P.C. Cast just didn’t notice she did that. There's plenty of other examples of identical or extremely similar names throughout the series, such as:
Zoey's brother Kevin and Detective Kevin Marx
Erik and Erin
Neferet the person and Nefertiti the cat
Shaylin and Shaunee
Drew (human) and Drew (fledgling)
Kaci Crump, Cassie Kramme, Casey Young, and Kacie Lockwood (from the Other World spinoff)
Even Damien and Darius are a bit close. The author mixed up their names in narration at one point, and it was never caught during the editing process.
(It's also worth noting that P.C. and Kristin have stated that, if the HoN TV show ever comes to fruition, Shaunee and Erin's names will be changed to Monique and Misty.* Monique is already the name of a Priestess working under Damien at the NYHoN in Loved.)
This is only made more absurd when you remember that every single fledgling and vampyre - all these people who got Marked as teenagers - have complete freedom to change their name to whatever they want. Why are there three fledglings named some variation of Cassie (only Casey is human)? Where are all the kids naming themselves Destiny and Ebony and Serendipity? Why aren't more kids named after their favourite celebrities or characters? You're telling me not a single teenage boy named himself Mike Hawk? Where are the kids who gave themselves four middle names because it sounds fancy, or who made their initials into an acronym?
The number of characters who did something like this is very small: Aphrodite, Jack Twist, James Stark, Venus, and Thor are the only ones I can immediately think of. Frankly, that's absurd.
I know exactly why it's Iike that, though. PC Cast isn't thinking about world-building and internal logic when she names her characters. Instead, she regularly names her characters after real people she knows. Here is a non-exhaustive list of such names:
Shaunee Cole
Erin Bates
Damien Maslin (specifically the last name)
Seoras
Cassie Kramme**
Chera Kimiko
Adam Paluka
Mr. Shaddox
Bryan "Dragon" Lankford
Anastasia Lankford
(On a somewhat related note, both P.C. and Kristin both have multiple self-inserts throughout the original and spinoff series. For P.C., it's Sgiach and Tina. For Kristin, it's Zoey and Kacie. This is mostly harmless - except Tina. Tina is literary brown face, because the white author made her self-insert indigenous, specifically Creek. Otherwise, these self-inserts just end up glorified and coddled.)
This kind of offhandedness and carelessness with world-building plagues the series. It's why historical figures are casually mentioned to be vampyres with no thought to how that would actually impact history. It's why the author says, "yeah, all the best actors and singers are vampyres" but then never considers how different media would look if all the most famous entertainers were nocturnal and allergic to the sun. It's why only a handful of countries have large vampyre populations and many of them (such as Italy and Greece) are known to be incredibly sunny and have long days and long summers, while places like Canada are far less populated despite vampyres being minimally affected by the cold. It's why there's 25 HoNs in the world, seven of which are in the US, while only three are in Asia, one is in Africa, and there are none mentioned in Russia or South America. It's why there's only one HoN in Canada despite it being an enormous country that is difficult to travel because of terrain (mountains, wetlands, tundra), weather, and sheer size.
And the thing is, I can excuse Rule of Cool world-building, or world-building that is shallow/poorly thought out. But the execution and context matter. All throughout the text, there's this very clear vibe that the author thinks she has built this incredibly rich, detailed world that is well-researched and grounded in reality while still being fantastical. In reality, the world-building is about as deep and sturdy as a list of bullet points on a wet napkin: It's not detailed, half of it is unintelligible, and it's gonna fall apart if you put even the slightest pressure on it.
I think a great demonstration of both poorly thought out world-building and poorly developed characters is Nyx. She is a loving goddess who prizes free will and thus operates under the principle of non-interference - but she spent eons gaslighting Kalona and all of vampyre society; regularly pops in to give special powers, helpful hints, or immediate solutions to specific fledglings/vampyres if she likes them enough; openly plays favourites; and gives fledglings extremely cruel, painful, or confusing gifts with no explanation as to why said gifts work the way they do. Why is Stark able to accidentally kill someone because of a metaphor he didn't intend to use? Why do visions cause Aphrodite's eyes to bleed? It's also fundamentally unclear what she wants at numerous points throughout the series.
Much of Neferet's descent into evil and success in committing horrific atrocities comes down to the fact that a) Nyx decided that this was the situation in which she wasn't going to give Zoey or anyone else clear warnings or visions about specifically what Neferet was doing, and b) she refused to rescind any of Neferet's gifts, even when she was using them to hurt people and create undead abominations, and had completely turned her back on Nyx in favour of Darkness.
(This is only compounded by the events of the Other World spinoff, wherein Nyx responds to OG Neferet's crimes by erasing her soul from existence so she can never reincarnate or be resurrected. So, I guess she can interfere where she sees fit? She also reduces Other Neferet and a bunch of her soldiers to children so they can have a second chance [horrifying], and causes a bunch of people to instantly complete the Change - including Other Lynette, who was a human. That seems like a lot of very direct interference.)
I also need to acknowledge how absolutely nonsensical the plot of this series is. Like, even just looking at the (intended) core premise of each book, it's all over the place.
Marked: Zoey is Marked and must learn to navigate her new life as a fledgling, which includes discovering she is the Chosen One and ousting mean girl Aphrodite from her position as glorified Student Council President.
Betrayed: Neferet is acting suspicious, which includes accusing Aphrodite of lying about her visions, and being connected to undead fledglings Zoey has spotted around campus.
Chosen: Zoey must heal undead Stevie Rae while also juggling three boyfriends and lying to her friends about all of it.
Untamed: Creepy ravens are all over campus. Aphrodite gets a vision that reveals these are Raven Mockers and Neferet intends to free Kalona from his earthly prison.
Hunted: Kalona and Neferet have brainwashed pretty much everyone at the Tulsa HoN. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to break the spell or get rid of them.
Tempted: After being banished from Tulsa and unable to continue their reign over the HoN, Kalona and Neferet tell the High Council that they are Erebus and Nyx incarnate, and thus Neferet should be the new High Priestess of all vampyres. Zoey goes to the High Council to say they're lying.
Burned: Zoey is shattered in the Otherworld and everyone is trying to save her.
Awakened: Neferet murders Jack so Zoey will stop frolicking on the Isle of Skye and return to Tulsa. Once Zoey returns, Neferet pretends she's a good guy and asks for her forgiveness.
Destined: Zoey's mother had been ritually sacrificed by Neferet to create a living weapon, so Zoey and co. perform a reveal ritual to show how Zoey's mother was murdered.
Hidden: After being shunned by the High Council, Neferet kidnaps Zoey's grandma as vengeance. Neferet is also working a smear campaign against the HoN on local news, which Zoey and co. counteract by doing an interview badmouthing Neferet and announcing an open house on campus.
Revealed: Neferet murders the mayor outside the gates of the HoN, so the school is on lockdown until they can prove that no one living/working there killed him. The Seer Stone is making Zoey increasingly short-tempered and violent.
Redeemed: Neferet takes over a fancy hotel and declares all the hostages her worshippers. Zoey and co. need to figure out how to use Old Magick to stop an immortal without it making Zoey go mad.
Does any of that seem like a logical progression/escalation of events? This isn't even touching on all the random boy drama, abandoned subplots, or nonsensical digressions that only serve to pad the text.
What the author seemingly intended to craft was a Chosen One coming-of-age narrative about a young girl who always felt out of place finding belonging at the HoN while navigating romantic relationships, learning to be a leader, and joining the battle against Darkness.
What we got was a spoiled, selfish brat who complains about every privilege and inconvenience that falls into her lap, who refuses to do anything hard or unpleasant to the point that she repeatedly cheats and leads on her boyfriends, who never takes initiative, and who largely has her problems solved by her subservient friends or a literal goddess.
But it shouldn't be surprising that the plot is all over the place and fails to fulfill the intended themes/messages of the series, because information about P.C. Cast's writing process for the series is also quite inconsistent. Originally, the series was only meant to be a trilogy, but got picked up for more books. However, in a Reddit AMA***, Kristin Cast claims:
We plotted out the story arch, and it naturally ended with twelve books. We also had a per book word count we had to follow, which is why our books aren't as long as other YA novels. However, I don't think anything was rushed. It was all planned from the beginning, and was executed amazingly!
But in several interviews (can only find a couple**** because they were audio/video, not text), P.C. Cast has referenced going rogue - meaning she deviated from the outline. Stark was meant to be Stevie Rae's love interest, Rephaim was supposed to die when Stevie Rae found him, etc. These represent HUGE alterations to the plot, so obviously the whole plot couldn't have been planned from the beginning, nor could everything be executed as intended.
P.C. Cast has also stated that she hates outlining, but Kristin makes her do a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline when they actually co-write. When P.C. writes solo, she knows the beginning, the end, and a bunch of pieces in the middle, and then figures it out from there (which sounds like a plantser style). Given that Kristin wasn't involved in the planning process - she didn't even look at the outlines of the original series because, as an editor, she wanted completely fresh eyes for the text - she couldn't have been the one pushing for a thorough outline of the whole series before P.C. began writing.
And that's not even getting into the fact that P.C. has stated the series was originally planned as a trilogy, which is evident from how the first three books were written. She couldn't have planned a twelve book series because she had no reason to assume she would be able to publish more than three books.
I wish I had a more satisfying conclusion to offer here, but... that's kind of the problem with talking about this series. The problems both span so wide and run so deep that it feels impossible to actually cover everything. I've made tens of thousands of posts - including in-depth analyses of plot, character, world-building, and writing - for every single book in this series, and I still feel like I haven't covered everything.
*Discussed here, around 17:00
**Google searches show this is a real person who attended the same school PC taught at
***Reddit AMA
****PC Cast interview, q&a
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Writing:
Looking back through the writing in Redeemed makes me wish I had tallied typos for the previous books, because my god are there a lot in this book.
Like, here's a non-exhaustive list:
Chapter 3: so instead of do
Chapter 5: checks instead of cheeks, "hit the each"
Chapter 7: Mogan le Fay
Chapter 9: "sat stared at", sooths instead of soothes, globs instead of globes
Chapter 12: secrete instead of secret, Priestess instead of priestesses
Chapter 16: "focused them on her will", "raised in battle stance"
Chapter 18: posses instead of possess
Chapter 21: "a bright as"
Chapter 22: Suzanne becoming Suzanna
Chapter 24: finale instead of final, lose instead of loose
Chapter 26: arch instead of arc, merefolk, inhumane instead of inhuman
And that's still not including all the examples of the author just... not knowing what words mean. Again, the best way to convey the scale of this problem is with a list:
Chapter 4: Dressing gown is compared to an outfit befitting a silver screen diva
Chapter 5: Circular drive for a drop-off zone by the curb
Chapter 7: cordially when Lenobia is more likely just being polite
Chapter 9: thee (singular) used in place of you (plural)
Chapter 11: politically correct. Specifically, saying it's not politically correct for religious leaders to guide humans on seeking sanctuary at the HoN.
Chapter 16: The sun just set, but it's not dark yet
Chapter 17: Damocles is the name of the king, not the sword
Chapter 17: gloaming is not a verb
Chapter 18: Superconductor does not describe something that amplifies fire/heat
Chapter 19: coitus interruptus means pulling out, not interrupting someone having sex
Chapter 20: impending thunderstorm when the storm is already very much present and active
Chapter 21: "Behind the ground"
Chapter 22: crawled to describe the movement of snakes
Chapter 23: awe-inspiring and awesome mean the same thing
Chapter 23: politically correct. Specifically, saying it is politically correct to want white men to broaden their horizons by dating black women, especially if they look hot together
Chapter 26: the end means the book is over, not 16 pages left to go
Afterward vs afterword
Afterward: North America is a continent, not a country
Afterward: fledge means "capable of flight", not "mature enough to leave the nest"
There's also just a ton of scattered little problems. PC Cast continues to struggle with punctuation. Use of italics and formatting for flashbacks, internal monologue, and dialogue with dead/non-Earthly entities is wildly inconsistent. There are multiple instances of Earth not being capitalized when referring to the planet, and at least one instance where it is capitalized when talking about the element. One of Zoey's sections inexplicably starts in third person POV before shifting to the usual first person, and one of Aphrodite's sections briefly switches to Zoey's POV.
And there are so many poems. So, so many poems, almost all of them terribly constructed. This includes a haiku that is 7-5-7 instead of 5-7-5, a couplet with uneven meter, and one poem where the final line is just as long the entire first stanza. I honestly think PC Cast gets worse at poetry the more she writes it.
The only real growth we've seen in the writing for this twelve book series is fewer pointless parenthetical asides, and Zoey being less bigoted/judgemental in her narration. Otherwise? P.C. Cast replicates the same issues in her writing again and again and again.
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World-Building
This is the first book in which we officially meet Death as a separate entity from Nyx. We still know NOTHING about her. What does she look like? Can she, like Nyx, alter her image to suit whoever she is appearing before? What is her actual role? Thanatos' death is the only time we've seen Death escort someone to the afterlife, and the process is also wildly different - Thanatos doesn't leave a body behind. So did Thanatos go somewhere different than Nyx' Realm, where it's already been well-established that you can't bring your physical body? Also, who aside from Thanatos knows of Death? Does she have worshippers? What does that worship look like?
This leads to questions about Nyxism as a pantheon. Like, first of all, is it a pantheon? Obviously Death exists as a separate godly entity, but we have no idea what her role is in the broader cosmology or if she's even worshipped. Are there other, non-Nyx deities aside from Death? Are these deities known and worshipped? Because up until Death was introduced, every goddess or revered female figure from other religions was actually just Nyx in another guise. So why is Death different? And are there any other deities distinct from Nyx? If there are, they must not be particularly well-known, important, or worshipped, because we've never heard of them.
What is the point of Thanatos' affinity? We see numerous deaths that she isn't present for, and as far as we know, those spirits make their way to the Otherworld unassisted. We also know that Zoey can perform the exact same duty by casting a circle. So what exactly is the point of having a "High Priestess of Death", and why does everyone treat it like a big deal?
Kalona says there are different realms. What are they? Where are they? How does this work? How can Kalona move from one realm to the next? Does Nyx have power over all these realms? Are these different layers of the same reality, or completely different dimensions of existence?
If love is antithetical to evil, the power of love can defeat evil, and Darkness is the embodiment of evil, how is Neferet's relationship with her tendrils possible? Neferet loves them as a mother loves her children, and the tendrils love her in return. Neferet is evil and the tendrils are Darkness. By the logic and philosophy of this series, they shouldn't be capable of love. Or is it only romantic love that's so powerful and important? If that's the case, then the arc words of "love, always love" as part of Nyxist philosophy takes on a different meaning. It also indicates that Nyx loving vampyres as her children is not so powerful or meaningful, if familial love is indeed a lesser force than romantic love.
Why was Lynette able to pass through the protection spell to enter the Mayo? She was returning to the Mayo with the specific intent of serving Neferet, aiding her in committing horrific acts of violence and supporting her reign of terror to avoid being possessed. That's ill intent through and through.
When Neferet tried commanding Darkness to kill Zoey in Destined, she needed a sacrifice of equal value to a High Priestess. Neferet provides no such sacrifice in the climax; all the people she killed in the Mayo were to strengthen herself and her tendrils so they could break through the protection spell. So how was Neferet able to command Darkness to attack Zoey directly with intent to kill?
Why would breaking the circle kill Zoey? That's never been a risk before. It's not even if the circle is broken while she's casting a specific spell - just having the circle set at all while confronting Neferet could mean she dies if it's broken.
Because Stark is Zoey's Warrior, Thanatos can't give him orders, despite her being in a position of authority over Zoey. Why can't Thanatos order Zoey around on matters pertaining to her Warrior? Given the importance of Priestesses having Oath Sworn Warriors, how large a portion of the Sons of Erebus is answering to lesser Priestesses instead of the school's High Priestess or Sword Master? How does this work when there is actual conflict and the Warriors need to step up to defend their grounds or fight off a threat?
How does the power of the land boost a protective spell based in fire? Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be boosted by the sun? That would certainly create an interesting obstacle and greater sense of tension around casting and maintaining the spell.
Because Zoey is Cherokee and the reincarnation of A-ya, she is the embodiment of Oklahoma earth and its Old Magick... despite Cherokee not being indigenous to Oklahoma. Moreover, Cherokee people did not historically abide by contemporary state boundaries, so the concept of a Cherokee person being the embodiment of a specific state's earth is absolute nonsense. It also doesn't really matter to the climax. Zoey calls upon the elements (her actual affinity), the Great Earth Mother (Nyx), and Old Magick (a nonsentient force that she can tap into with the Seer Stone) to push Neferet into the grotto. There's no reason for her to call on her Cherokee heritage to do so - literally none of this magic is related to the Cherokee.
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Plot
Redeemed centers on Zoey learning to control Old Magick so she can defeat Neferet, while Neferet rules over the Mayo as a Dark Goddess and sets her sights on controlling Tulsa as a whole.
Well, in theory.
In reality, Zoey did absolutely nothing of import this entire book. I've covered this in the Characters section of my final thoughts for this book, but it bears repeating. Zoey did nothing. She didn't make any effort to learn how to wield Old Magick. She didn't come up with the plan to defeat Neferet. She didn't even really fight Neferet or Darkness in the climax. She didn't contribute to the sacrifice to entomb Neferet. Zoey. Did. Nothing.
Neferet also did little of importance. She took over the Mayo and then just sort of... hung out. Demanded entertainment. Drank wine. Murdered people for a protection spell.
So what this book is actually about is two opposed groups in holding patterns, waiting for the other to strike while monologuing about how they're totally gonna defeat their enemy. That's the climactic conclusion to this twelve book series.
Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised.
Day One: Chapter 1, Chapter 3 (Sunday)
Day Two: Chapter 2, Chapter 4-Chapter 11 (Monday)
Day Three: Chapter 12-Chapter 23 (Tuesday)
Day Four: Chapter 24-Chapter 26 (Wednesday)
Day???: Afterward
I feel like I should have a lot more to say about the final installment in a 12-part series, but... I really don't. It was all the same bullshit and padding that the series has retread again and again and again.
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