#Transcript under the cut.

[angel---eater]

(3, 5), (5, 7), (11, 13), (17, 19), (29, 31), (41, 43), (59, 61), (71, 73), (101, 103), (107, 109), (137, 139),

[Mathematicians call them twin primes:

they are pairs of prime numbers that are close to one another, almost neighbours, but between them there is always an even number that prevents them from really touching. Numbers like 11 and 13, like 17 and 19, 41 and 43. If you have the patience to go on counting, you discover that these pairs gradually become rarer. You encounter increasingly isolated primes, lost in that silent, measured space made only of numbers, and you become aware of the distressing sense that the pairs encountered up until that point were an accidental fact, that their true fate is to remain alone. Then, just when you're about to surrender, when you no longer have any desire to go on counting, you come across another pair of twins, clutching one another tightly.]

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

this is the entire show btw

edwin: *says or does something bitchy*

crystal: um?? back me up here charles

charles: me?? charles rowland?? THE wifeguy ever???? fuck that i've been hanging on to every word out of this guy's mouth for the past 30 years and i’m not stopping now. what were you saying, my queen?

[video description and transcript under the cut]

[VD: a scene from Dead Boy Detectives which features three characters: Crystal, Edwin, and Charles. There are white closed captions throughout the video.

Crystal asks a question, and Edwin spins around and struts towards the camera. Yellow text has been edited onto the screen that pops up as he moves. The text reads as follows: “*cunty spin*💅”, “*tuts*😒”, “*pause for the drama*💋”, *struts his whole pussy*👠”, and “THE FUCKING ARMS😭”. The camera then shows Charles and Crystal as Edwin is speaking. Crystal looks at Charles with annoyance at what Edwin is saying, and Charles grins back at her before turning back to grin at Edwin affectionately. Yellow text next to Crystal says “is he fucking serious 🙄”. Next to Charles, yellow text appears saying, “i know isn’t he the best 🥰”, “that’s my wife right there 😍”, “tell us, princess 👑”, and “fuckin love you 😘”. End VD.]

[TRANSCRIPT]:

- [Crystal]: Um, why do I have to babysit?

- [Edwin]: Being a detective is not all invading people’s minds, reading objects, and ta-da, there’s your answer. Sometimes…

[manmadesunshine]

Can't believe I've not seen this posted

this was even before the halo 5 insanity

Transcript:

Phil: Alright, go on. (Doing a Shadow the hedgehog impression:) Boy breast milk is not real.

Sneeg: (doing a Sonic impression:) Keep sucking his nipples!

(Both laugh)

Sneeg: (still doing a Sonic impression:) Gotta suck fast!

[cobblestone-butch]

the timing of this absolutely got me

Scar: I'm suing somebody for a thing

Cleo, overlapping: Who are you suing? Who are you suing for a thing?

Scar: snails

*long pause*

Cleo: Who is representing the snails?

[stinkrascal]

vladislaus inspo for this post

TRANSCRIPT

picture 2 Victim: Please, let me go. I won't say anything.

picture 3 Nadia: I know, you won't. Soon, you won't have the tongue to speak. Helena: Hurry this up, Nadia. Y'all said this would be quick.

picture 4 Inessa: Aw, how precious. Don't tell me you're getting squeamish. Helena: Ain't nothing about being squeamish, I got things to do. Yakov: Those bastard students can wait! Inessa: Relax, we're having fun.

picture 5 Victim: Please, oh, God, please, just let me go. Marcellus: Hah! I love it when the meat squeals.

picture 6 Marcellus: Sing for me, piggy!

picture 7 Nadia: At ease, friend. Helena is right. Only children play with their food. Go on. Open the cage.

picture 8 Marcellus: So he lives! Vladislaus: Ugh.

picture 10 Marcellus: You've finally come out of your hole? Yakov: Hah! Must've been a great hole! Vladislaus: Ugh.

picture 11 Yakov: You missed a lively dinner, Vlad. You better make it to the next one, boy. Vladislaus: ... Yakov: Oh, apologies. I forgot you don't eat people, or whatever puritanical brainrot you're espousing this century.

picture 12 Inessa: I've missed you, pretty boy. When will you visit the parlor again? Frankie misses you. Vladislaus: Unhand me at once. Inessa: oh, and you're so gaunt. You need a proper meal.

picture 13 Helena: I'm leading the next hunt. You should join us. Vladislaus: You are leading? I thought—

picture 14 Helena: Things change, Vladislaus.

picture 15 Vladislaus: Stop pestering me, all of you. I have no time for antics. I must speak to the headmaster at once.

picture 16 Nadia: Where are your manners, my dear boy? Vladislaus: I am a grown man. Nadia: I know, darling—and look at how grown you are! Did you visit the wizards again? You look taller. Vladislaus: Ugh.

picture 17 Nadia: Always with your pouting. Why don't you try smiling, my dear? Vladislaus: I asked for a moment of your time, headmaster, not your condescension.

picture 18 Nadia: [ giggling ] Don't headmaster me, boy. Pardon us. This may take a while.

[royalarchivist]

Bad: Are you saying you're willing to sacrifice yourself to get Forever back?

Pac: Like, not sacrifice–

Bad: I appreciate that Pac, that is–

Pac: Like, nononono, Bad, look–

Bad: That is a huge thing of you to do.

Pac: [...] Well, would you sacrifice yourself for Forever?

Bad: What? No! Are you kidding?

Pac:

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

Bad: Are you saying you're willing to sacrifice yourself to get Forever back?

Pac: Like, not sacrifice–

Bad: I appreciate that Pac, that is–

Pac: Like, nononono, Bad, look–

Bad: That is a huge thing of you to do.

Pac: Not sacrifice, like-

Bad: No I understand, we don't have to call it that, we can say... You know, calling on your- a sword, you know, you're willing to throw yourself on the sword, potentially die, to save Forever.

Pac: I would say potentially like- let's say like 5% of that?

Bad: Oh no, there's probably 100%, maybe- ok, 85% certainty of your demise, but if it's worth getting Forever back? I think we're on the- We're both willing to take on that burden.

Pac: Well, would you sacrifice yourself for Forever?

Bad: What? No! Are you kidding?

Pac: [Sighs] Ok...

Bad: I gotta see my son again! I mean-

Pac: YEAH, I have the same idea!

Bad: But you Pac, you're willing to do that!

Pac: We gonna find Forever without sacrificing anyone! Without sacrificing anyone! Everyone–

Bad: Anybody except you! Ok.

Pac: [Sighs again] Ok.

Bad: I understand, Pac.

Pac: Ok- I- ok.

Bad: I appreciate you, ok?

Pac: Oh my god Bad, you–

Bad: I just want to let you know that.

Pac: Ok.

Bad: [Raises his right hand] Pac? Thank you.

Pac: [Does the "give respects" emote back to him] Yeah, yeah...

Bad: Thank you for being willing to make that sacrifice.

Pac: If that's– if it is not a 100% death sacrifice, I would do it to save Forever and Richarlyson, but I– nobody's gonna get killed, nobody's gonna be dead.

Bad: Nobody.

Pac: Nobody.

Bad: Nobody except... Well, probably one person.

[owl-bones]

also sorry in advance to all the people that cannot read cursive, Nightmare talks in cursive in my head because he's fancy

i will try to make it as legible as possible alkjsdlfkadsk

[wereshrew-admirer]

AUSTIN (as UNO RISCANO): Ooh. You’re a big’un, huh? Just stand up against the board, and I promise I won’t hit anything vital.

DRE (as CHINE): I don’t need to like, crouch or anything?

AUSTIN (as UNO): No, I want you to stand up just as tall and as—really show off how big you are.

DRE (as CHINE): Okay.

DRE: I have my arms out spread eagle, but I’m also giving two thumbs up.

AUSTIN (as UNO): Alright. Now, you’ll see, crowd gathered here, this—you’re from Blackwick?

DRE (as CHINE): Yep.

AUSTIN (as UNO): Favored child of Blackwick. Look at how they grow ‘em here in Blackwick. God damn. And you’ll see, even with a target as wide as this, these knives will fly true, and I won’t hit even a single piece of flesh. Unless you’d like me to. That’s not—ha ha ha.

[SYLVI AND KEITH LAUGH]

AUSTIN: Grabs the knife, flips it up in the air, grabs it again. I’m gonna say these are, again, these are those same type of, like, the sticking knives that Uno had before. Maybe he stole a bunch of other ones on the way out. But I just love that as a visual cue for him. Grabs them, flips it up, holds it by the blade, throws it. Thwunk. Right next to your head, Chine. Everyone ‘clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.’

AUSTIN (as UNO): Everyone, save your applause. I have at least five more, maybe six.

AUSTIN: Goes over and picks up another one.

AUSTIN (as UNO): Where should I throw this one, folks?

AUSTIN (as CROWDSPERSON): Between his legs!

DRE (as CHINE): I need a haircut.

AUSTIN (as UNO): Oh, there we go. Absolutely. I’ll give you a little trim there.

AUSTIN: Flips it up, throws it. Boom. Right above your head, a piece of hair floats down in front of your face.

KEITH (as CROWDSPERSON): Wow, he’s good!

[dvmetvra]

Dolly at school, m.g.t.

"Hey, Lo, can we come hang out at your house this afternoon?"

You can't, I think, there's no way I will let you close to him.

"Sorry, my father's busy," I lie with my fingers crossed,

"He says no guests are welcome till he's finished with his work."

My one lovely ladybird of a friend furrows her brows;

I know she could not handle the whole truth in large amounts.

It's good that she won't find out, not unless we make the news:

Daisy-fresh girl child-trafficked by her late mother's new beau.

It's grim, grotesque, it's horrid what he makes Lolita do;

When I'm at school I'm Dolly, a real girl without bruised thighs.

"What a shame, your daddy's handsome," the girl in braids complains,

"I was hoping I would see him again sometime quite soon."

Yeah, right! As if I'd let him near a girl who fancies him:

Herr Humbert's got a sense for the most willing cuts of meat.

What that says about me, I don't really care to know,

only I happened to be the first experiment that worked.

"Well, Jane's pool party is on Friday, Lo, you have to come!"

Friday's full, my week's busy: theatre, tennis, piano, sex,

and all the various gross things Mr. H would have me do.

"I'll have to ask my father and see — no boys allowed, right?"

"Of course!" Jane chirps; Humbert hates boys as much as I hate him.

We walk the crossroads together, then go our separate ways,

and I'm alone and I kick rocks on the sidewalk to hell.

Watch out for strangers, Dolly, you don't want to get kidnapped!

If only that would happen, I should be so glad for it.

But I get home safe and I knock on the door and the man

comes to answer, takes me back under the wing of his control.

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

CAPTION/TRANSCRIPTION PRACTICE

hello phannies! so the lovely @antiadvil dmed me about transcripts and i happened to have captioned this (nauseating, sickening, homophobia-inducing) clip earlier. thought we could use this as an example.

a sample transcript for this would be:

[TRANSCRIPT]:

(quizzical tone plays)

-[D]: Phil, where-

(record scratch sound effect)

-[P]: *laughs*

-[D]: (laughing) Do you know where- do you- do you know where you- where the- where the- where the pee comes out? (sarcastically) The pee is stored in the balls!

-[P]: I just really wanted to say it!

i plan on making a big post about accessibility in the near future. in the meantime, though, PLEASE try to caption or transcribe your content. please.

and if you want to be even more thorough with accessibility:

a sample VD (video description) for this video would be:

[VD: dan and phil sitting side by side in their office. they are sharing a pair of headphones. dan is wearing a black eclipse t-shirt and phil is wearing a dark spotted button up shirt. the outfits are reminiscent of their costumes for one of their previous tours.

throughout the video, dan has his hand on phil’s shoulder as they both laugh.

the video is open-captioned, with blue captions for phil, black for dan, and purple for sound effects]

ideally VDs/IDs are more simple than this, and i have much less practice with image descriptions than i do with captioning, so please keep that in mind. i am also exhausted, but i wanted to get this posted before going to sleep.

as with all accessibility, disabled people know what we need best, so don’t be afraid to do your own research and ask questions.

my dms are always open. whether or not you’ll get a consistent response from me, who knows. but no harm is sending a dm regardless :)

[eightyones]

Oscar Piastri on his remarkable F1 rookie season | F1TV

Laura Winter: The one thing I think all of us watching the Formula 1 this season have noticed in you, and indeed your engineer Tom Stellard also said to me as well, is that you are the defitinion of calm, not relaxed. As soon as he said those words to me, I thought that is exactly how I’d describe Oscar. Is that something that has always been in you? Is that something that you feel has always been that way or do you specfically train and work on that?

Oscar Piastri: It’s uh- a bit of both. I think naturally I’m quite calm and sort of low energy, low frequency. Laura Winter: But you are not laid back or relaxed or lazy and i think there’s the- ‘cause you are still laser focused and there is still a burning ambition. Oscar Pastri: Yeah- Yes, definitely. I think for me that’s always been an important line to draw, is that sometimes calmness can come across as laziness or a lack of caring and it’s definitely not that. You know, there are times were it can dip into that and you have to manage it, but i think for me it’s just how i operate best. My thinking on things is very much that uhm… negative emotions in short bursts are good, but they don’t generally add that much. So trying to deal- you know in terms with solutions is a much better way and being able to think clearly and come up those solutions with a clear state of mind is very important. So that’s something I’ve kind of always had in my personality I think, but, also something that I’ve consciously worked on as well. So uhm… definitely a bit of both. Laura Winter: That is very good advice, I will take that.

[orykorioart]

I have to know! What's your story for merfolk Raihan and Leon? How did they meet and whatnot?

To be completely honest I was intending to write a sort reply since I don’t have that much of an idea for them as Merfolks, but then I got in the mood for some sketches while drafting a reply so here’s some quick sillies haha

(Transcript/desc under the cut since its kinda long)

COMIC 1

(First Meeting)

Panel 1: Young Raihan encounters a young Leon, who looks lost and upset.

Raihan: Hey, uh... You okay?

Panel 2: Leon showing Raihan a part of a cape.

Leon: I -hic! - got lost on my way home, and I can’t follow the -hic! - map mum drew on my cape...

Panel 3: Raihan: Looks like it's just an hour's swim away. I can help getcha there!

Panel 4: Leon grabs Raihan in a tight hug, excitedly thanking him.

Leon: REALLY ?! Thank you so, so much!

COMIC 2

(2 months later)

Panel 1: Raihan pulling along a lost Leon, who is embarrassedly explaining why he’s lost again.

Leon: I just wanted to get some shells for my baby brother, I didn’t think it would be so confusing to get home...

(A week later)

Panel 2: Raihan encounters Leon again, who is excitedly waving at him.

Raihan: WUH?! How are you lost AGAIN?

Panel 3: Leon pulling Raihan along, as Raihan looks at him confusedly.

Leon: Not lost this time! Mum wanted to invite you over for dinner to thank you for helping me again!

Raihan: Uh- Really?

COMIC 3

(Now)

Panel 1: Leon feigns a dramatic speech.

Leon: Oh no, I'm lost again... If only there was a handsome, kind, and gentlemanly shark out there who could help get me home...

Panel 2: Leon blows a kiss to Raihan, who blocks it with his book. Raihan looks slightly embarrassed.

[nattikay]

people seemed to enjoy the "casual Na'vi" last time so here is some more ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fìtrr lu ftxozä alu trr tìtunuä. Slä kezemplltxe lu oe le'awtu. Ha, wrrkolä fte kivanom pitsati. Ftxìlor. Ftxozäri aylrrtok ngaru*, ma frapo. *should've been ayngaru but w/e ...also accidentally mispronounced ftxozä as ftxoza the second time but also w/e

[bumblingbabooshka]

The T'Pels & Tuvok! - An introduction to our fighters!

[T'Pel A: T'Pel is a quiet and dedicated woman who works as a doctor. When Tuvok is stationed on ships she often registers to work in sickbay as a nurse. She and Tuvok didn't like one another at first but once they began to get along they became inseparable. She has a soft voice with a country twang that typically only Vulcans identify. She is less strict than Tuvok and more willing to stray outside of her comfort zone.] [T'Pel B: T'Pel is a prissy and straightforward woman who works as a professor. She and Tuvok taught at the same university when he was an archery science professor. T'Pel and Tuvok got along well right away. However, she is not often well liked by others due to her domineering attitude and exacting standards. She is not a very open-minded person when it comes to non-Vulcans. She often accompanies Tuvok on ships and stations but she is typically lonely when there aren't other Vulcans around. She is an extrovert and a bit clingy to the people she likes but they are few and far between. Enjoys parties.]

[motherspores]

extremely furry karma (transcript below cut)

[Transcript:

Iskall: Uh, uh-! Jevin, overlapping: [Unintelligible]

[Iskall places down his trophy, turning it back into a pumpkin.]

[Iskall plays a horn that has a clip of cub saying "I must go! My people need me." attached to it. He moves to fly away, then turns around when he realizes hes not holding his trophy.]

Iskall: NOOOOOOOO- Jevin: I have an inventory full of- [Unintelligible] Stress: WHAT-

[Stress wheezes as Iskall picks up the pumpkin.] Iskall: THAT'S MY TROPHY- Iskall: NoooOO. Jevin: Oho ho ho ho ho ho hooooo. Xisuma: Did you just destroy it?

Jevin: Ohhhh nooo! [Stress cackles. Iskall throws the pumpkin to Xisuma.] Iskall: NOoo! I was right clicking the horn and it PLACED the stupid thing! Xisuma: Oh! I- I just happened to need one of these, as it goes.

[Stress continues cackling.] Iskall, audibly panicking: No-! Jevin, overlapping: That is the most funny thing I've ever seen. Iskall: Reki- Remake it to me!

Stress, finally settling: Ahuh- a heheh. [Xisuma starts running through the models, looking for the one he needs. First he turns it into a different, rocket themed trophy model.] Xisuma: Uuhh, not that one... Stress: Oh! Iskall: What is that? [Xisuma turns it into an Impulse-themed egg.] Stress: Oh!! Stress: What is thayt? Iskall: No-! [Xisuma turns it into a painting. Only the back is visible to the viewer.] Stress: Oh! Heh- Hello?

[Xisuma turns it into a wolf mask.] Iskall, singing: I want my trophy- Xisuma: Ahhh, there we go, Stress! Jevin: I want it! Give it to me, I want it! Stress: Aaaahh!! Xisuma: There we go! Jevin: I want it I want it I want it I want it

Stress: Thank you!! Xisuma: You got your wolf head! Stress: Yyeaaaahhhh! [Stress puts it on. It doesn't fit to her face, the eye holes showing her bangs and part of her flower crown instead of her actual eyes.]

Jevin: I kinda- I tried to take it. I tried to take it. Stress: Wait- Are me eyes wrong? Xisuma: Ohh dear! Jevin: Oooh no- Stress, slightly more concerned: Are me eyes wrong? Jevin: Oh no!

[Stress enters third person to get a better look.] Xisuma: You- Stress, laughing: Oh NO- Xisuma: It makes you look- Special. Jevin: You need a- You need a hair trim to make that work.

[Stress laughs.] Xisuma, on the verge of laughter: It's like you have crazy eyes! Just look at it-!

Stress: Awwh, this is a shame. Xisuma: Ooohh... Iskall: That wolf head used to be my- uh, trophy. Stress, chuckling: It's mine now. Iskall: I'm just saying. Xisuma: You didn't look after it, Iskall.

end transcript]

[mangosimoothie]

𝔄𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝐼𝐼 (𝟣/𝟦)

Up next on assignment is Wren and, frankly, they're just looking forward to getting this formality of a "competition" over with.

start | prev | next

@alltimefail-sims @invisiblequeen @gothoffspring

Dear Wren, 

Good afternoon. When you awake, go to the master chamber in the cellar to receive your assignment. 

Sincerely, Atticus Winthorpe

WREN: Finally. 

WREN: Heard your little plan actually worked out. Nice one.  KHIA: Yeah, we’re pretty much the front runners at this point, so if you’re interested in forming an alliance better get in on it now.  WREN: This isn’t The Circle so, not interested. I’m more interested in sitting back and watching my competition drop like flies. Just saying I’m looking forward to seeing you two drop a little slower than the rest.  KHIA: And what makes you think you stand a better chance, nepobitchy?  WREN: Well, I have something nobody else here really does: Competence. 

WREN: Anyway, I’ve got an assignment to ace. Good luck. OZANA: Woahhh... KHIA: Don’t fucking “woahhh” that was LAME!