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baisemains · 21 days ago

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Elements of Desire

Chapter 4: Simple Truths (and Lies)

single mom!sevika x fem!reader

word count: 8k

contains: mentions of past relationship trauma/cheating, language, alcohol, fluff, angst

description: right when you and sevika have independently come to an acceptance, a surprise guest changes the course of your relationship.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

previous | next // sevika masterlist

The next time you see Sevika, it’s a little awkward, you’ll admit, but you can’t help the thoughts running through your head.

Should you hug her as a greeting now? Are you looking at her differently? Oh god, did she feel the same?

Overthinking was always an issue for you but you feel like this situation has made it so much worse. You haven’t talked about it with your roommates much, partly because they’d ask more questions, but mostly because you weren’t sure it was even worth discussing. Okay, yeah, you’ll admit, you had a teeny tiny schoolgirl crush on Sevika, but wouldn’t anyone? If anything, that just proves you’re human.

And maybe a little horny, it has been a while, actually…

As far as you can tell, Sevika hasn’t been acting any different around you, and you’ll take that as a positive sign, at least your crush isn’t obvious and creeping her out. Although, as much as you want to believe that’s a good thing, a small part of you is hurt. One sided feelings were nothing new to you, but it was a bit soul crushing that you were still going through this as an adult.

Sevika’s internal struggles are mirrored in yours, with the addition of one other thing: her denial. She’s been trying extremely hard to tell herself that it was nothing, just a friendly little dinner. Maybe if she keeps telling herself that, it’ll drive away the memories from that night, how you were sitting on her couch, so close, the soft smile on your face when talking to her girls. She’s annoyed that she can’t look at you without a warm feeling filling her chest or her thoughts running a mile a minute.

Groaning, she slams the hood of her car shut, not being able to focus on what she was working on.

“Everything okay, Sev?”

Refocusing her eyes and looking over her shoulder, she glares at one of her oldest friends before remembering he’d been there a while and schools her face into something more neutral. Seeing her expression, Vander chuckles, being on the receiving end of Sevika’s death stares was nothing new to him.

“Um, yeah. Just thinking, I guess.”

“About what? I thought you were gonna break the damn hood off closing it like that.”

A smile threatens to break through Sevika’s expression but she’s able to contain it.

“Mm, just this project Powder’s been working on, the one she was telling you guys about the other day.”

Vander raises an eyebrow at that. He knew Sevika had a lot on her plate, but a science project that wasn’t even hers didn’t seem like reason enough for her sulky mood.

“Right…it’s been that stressful?”

Sevika’s mouth twitches at that, almost opening her mouth to tell Vander the truth but deciding against it. Vander sees the internal struggle written clearly on her face and decides to call her out on it. Their friendship is nothing if not brutally honest, and he’ll be damned if they start keeping secrets now.

“Sev, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird the last couple weeks, especially when Powder talks about her project. You’re not as good of a liar as you think, at least not with me.”

Sevika lets out a quiet sigh at that, knowing she’s been caught. She doesn’t really know why she’s been hesitant to tell Vander about you, hell, he’s heard all the details about her past relationships, even the ones he’d rather not know. That’s just how close they are. This time just felt…different. More important, somehow? She didn’t know how else to describe it.

The longer Sevika takes to respond, the more worried Vander gets, and his mind starts drifting to bad scenarios.

“Wait, it’s nothing to do with the girls, right? Or you, you’re not sick or something?”

That instantly snaps Sevika out of her thoughts.

“No! It’s nothing bad, nothing like that, we’re all fine. It’s just, um…I…”

She pushes past Vander to make sure the door to the house is closed, the last thing she needs is her girls overhearing this conversation. Walking back over to him, she takes a seat on her work bench and Vander does the same, patiently waiting for her to finish her thought.

“I might have a thing for Powder’s teacher. The one helping with the science fair thing.”

Sevika rubs a hand over her face at that, she can’t believe she said that out loud. After a few seconds of silence, she looks over at Vander, who has a shit eating grin on his face.

“No fuckin’ way. I wanna talk shit but you look embarrassed enough.”

Sevika punches his shoulder at that, Vander only slightly flinching but laughing regardless.

“Fuck off…”, she grumbles, heat starting to creep up her neck.

Vander gets up from the bench and walks over to the fridge in the corner, grabbing two beers and handing one to Sevika as he sits back down. The two of them open the beers bare handed, clinking them together before taking a sip. Vander decides to broach the subject again, hoping he’ll get a better result.

“So, what’s she like? Better yet, you got a picture?”

Sevika just shakes her head, laughing. Her first instinct was to shrug the question off, but then the image of you popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but smile.

“She is…so smart. Like obviously she’s a teacher, but we’ve talked about a lot of things and she knows a little about all of it. Really nerdy too, but I also kind of expected that.”

Memories of you float through her head and she just lets herself ramble, much to Vander’s amusement.

“She’s well read, we’ve swapped books a couple times now and we always have long discussions after. Big on sci fi movies too, she stayed for movie night not too long ago after we had dinner here and it was really nice, the girls adore her.”

Vander takes a pause from drinking his beer and turns to look at Sevika.

“Hold on, she had dinner here and you didn’t tell me anything? Was this before or after Silco and I came back from our trip?”

Sevika clears her throat, side eyeing Vander sheepishly.

“After…”

Vander scoffs, jaw dropping as his eyes widen.

“Sev! How long has this been going on, you haven’t told me shit!”

She rolls her eyes at that, gay people are so dramatic.

“We officially met a couple months ago when we first moved here, Powder was having some trouble with a kid in her class and we had to have a parent/teacher conference. And then she asked Powder to join this science fair thing and it’s a full time project so we have to meet up almost every day, it’s been a lot.”

She eventually just spills everything, from Halloween night to how she started giving you food to take home to how she’s caught you looking at her before. Vander is shaking his head the entire time Sevika is talking, he can’t believe his best friend has been withholding all of this information from him.

“Wow, I’m hurt. You finally meet someone half decent and don’t tell me about it, I thought we were closer than that.”

Sevika cackles at that, elbowing him in the ribcage.

“Don’t even, I barely admitted it to myself. I can’t go around having a crush on my kid’s teacher.”

“And why not?”

Sevika pauses, beer halfway to her mouth before she lowers her hand and turns towards Vander.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why can’t you have a crush on her? Or heavens forbid, ask her out?”

She starts sputtering at that, half baked excuses spilling out of her mouth.

“Well— because— that wouldn’t be right—“

“And why not? You’re both two consenting adults, and from everything you just told me, she’s got a crush too.”

Sevika’s ears burn at that, there’s no way that’s true. Who would want all the baggage she comes with, especially someone like you, you could have anyone you wanted.

“You don’t know that, she’s probably just being nice. Probably talks like that to all the parents or whatever.”

Vander laughs at her again, shaking his head in disbelief at the woman in front of him. Sevika’s frown just deepens as he continues chuckling.

“Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? I haven’t seen you talk about anyone like this since…”

He bites his words, catching himself before he brings up something he’s sure Sevika doesn’t want to talk about.

“Sev, I didn’t mean to—“

He’s cut off by Sevika shaking her head and sighing.

“Don’t, it’s fine. I just….fuck, it’s really been that long?”

Vander nods at that, realizing that she hadn’t dated anyone in a couple of years.

“Yeah, it has. You haven’t even hooked up with anyone, you’re basically a nun.”

Sevika playfully glares at him, flicking him on the ear.

“And what’s wrong with that? I’m focusing on myself and my girls, that’s all I need to be happy.”

Vander gives her a dubious look at that, knowing her well enough to know that it was bullshit.

“Oh really? So you’re trying to tell me you don’t miss any physical affection? Not even a little?”

Sevika bristles at that, trying to deny the truth in his words. She was never an overly affectionate person, and didn’t mind going without it for a while, but lately it was starting to bug her.

“I’m doing fine, don’t worry about it.”

The dismissive tone in Sevika’s voice just made Vander roll his eyes, no way was he buying that lie.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that bullshit. I know you’re a damn good mom, but I also know you’re not a robot. You still have needs.”

Sevika sighs at that, taking a swig of her beer before responding.

“And? I’m not gonna go out and look for a one night stand just for that, I’m not that desperate.”

“No one is saying that, but if you hit it off with this woman, then you can get the emotional and the physical together, it’s a win-win.”

Sevika rubs the back of her neck, the mental image of you and her together suddenly popping up in her head, completely involuntarily.

“I don’t know. It’s not that simple, we’re both too old to be acting like this.”

Vander rolls his eyes at that, once again wondering how the hell this woman could be so smart yet so damn oblivious.

“Too old to be acting like what? To go after something you want?”

Sevika sighs and rubs her forehead. She knows she’s going to lose this argument, but still she pushes on.

“It’s a terrible idea, she’s my kid’s teacher for fuck’s sake. If she’s not interested, we’ll still have to be around each other the rest of this school year, and maybe the next, Powder’s only in eleventh grade. Not to mention when Isha gets to high school–”

Vander scoffs at that, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You’re making so many assumptions right now, how the hell do you know how she might react? Also, how is any of this a bad thing? A woman who’s good with your kids, who you're attracted to, who you say seems just as interested, how could you pass that up?”

Sevika’s mind reels as she tries to think of a rebuttal, but all she can think about is you, how sweet you are to her girls, how your conversations seemed to last hours without her noticing.

Vander frowns at Sevika, seeing the battle in her eyes as she tries to rationalize her thoughts. He leans back in the chair, sipping on his beer before speaking.

“You’re really scared to take a chance, huh?”

Sevika drops her head and sighs, her whole body suddenly feeling tired.

“I just don’t have another failed relationship left in me. Every time I decide to give someone a chance, they show me exactly why I shouldn’t have. I’m getting too old for this.”

Vander’s expression softens at that, hating how her heart had been repeatedly broken.

“Sev, you’re not too old for anything. Yeah, you’ve had some bad exes, but you can’t let them stop you from trying again.”

Sevika just rolls her eyes, downing the rest of her beer.

“Easy for you to say, you and Silco have been together for years.”

“And it didn’t happen by chance that we ended up together. I’m the one who made the first move, remember?”

Sevika remembers that day very clearly. Vander and Silco’s awkward flirting, her eventual eye roll that got them to just get it over with and get together was one for the books. Vander catches Sevika’s look and smirks at her, leaning forward.

“Don’t you ever get tired of waiting for something to happen on its own? It’s never gonna pan out that way, you know this.”

Sevika lets out a shaky breath, her mind playing a cruel, torturous movie in her head. All of her previous relationships flashed before her, with each ending in pain and anguish. She clenches her hands, her jaw, every part of her body suddenly tense. Vander sees the pain in her eyes, but refuses to let up, knowing that she needs the push. He knows she won’t admit to it, but she’s been lonely. And she deserves to be happy.

“C’mon, even you have to admit that she’s different. You said it yourself, she’s smart, caring, and she’s been helping out so much with Powder.”

Vander may not have met you yet, but Sevika has never talked about anyone this fondly, and that says enough to him.

“You can’t tell me that it doesn’t mean anything to you, how she seems to care about the girls. I seriously doubt they would like some random teacher this much.”

Sevika slumps in her seat, completely defeated. She knows he’s right, every single point he made was correct. Sighing and looking back up, she sees the smug smile on Vander’s face.

“I hate you.”

He just chuckles at that, patting her on the shoulder.

“Yeah, you love me. You know I’m not trying to give you a hard time, you just need a kick in the ass to get on with it sometimes.”

Sevika opens her mouth to give a sarcastic reply when the garage door opens and Isha pops in, running to her mom and climbing onto the bench.

Uncle Silco said dinner’s ready.

Vander scoops her up before anyone can react, and Isha’s laughs can be heard the entire way he carries her inside.

Taking a moment longer to gather her thoughts, Sevika lets out a sigh and stands up, heading inside to have dinner with her family.

The next week at school is finals week, and you’re definitely feeling it. Between tests and projects, you’re swamped with grading, and Powder and Ekko’s science fair submissions are also due at the beginning of next week, so you’ve gotta look over those to make sure they’re up to standard.

You’ve barely had time to eat or sleep, so you haven’t been in contact with Sevika as much as usual, much to her dismay. Powder keeps her in the loop so she knows it’s a busy time at school, but still, after her conversation with Vander, she was eager to see you in person, or at least talk on the phone.

Opportunity finally knocks on a Friday morning when you text her after days of radio silence.

“Hey, is it okay if I swing by after school to check on Powder’s project? I wanna make sure it all looks good before submissions on Monday.”

The grin that threatens to split her face catches the attention of none other than her best friend, and he walks over to see what’s got Sevika so giddy.

“Teach finally get back to you?”

She looks up from her phone, becoming aware of the expression on her face and dissolving it immediately.

“Yeah, she wants to come over tonight to look at Powder’s project.”

Vander’s eyes shine with a mischievous glint and one eyebrow slightly raised as he responds.

“Oh? What time, me and Silco were planning on coming over for dinner.”

Sevika huffs at that.

“Since when? I thought Fridays were date nights for you two.”

“Since right now. I wanna meet this elusive woman.”

With a roll of her eyes, Sevika just gives your message a thumbs ups and slides her phone into her back pocket. She’ll text you a specific time later.

“You make her sound like she’s a figment of my imagination.”

“Well you still haven’t shown me a picture of her, so for now, that’s exactly how I’m picturing her.”

Vander has a smug expression on, but Sevika refuses to give him the satisfaction of showing what you look like. Not that she has any pictures anyway, all your social media accounts are private, and she barely knows how to Google so that’s out of the question.

“And that’s how I like it. Get back to work, that engine’s not gonna fix itself.”

Sevika walks into the office and sends you a message telling you to come over between six and seven.

Maybe she’ll be able to convince you to stay for dinner again.

You’re in the middle of scarfing down your lunch when your phone buzzes and you see that Sevika responded to you. Hearting the message, you finish your food and get back to grading final tests, hoping to be done by the time you have to go over.

That evening, around five, a knock at the front door resounds throughout the house, and Sevika pokes her head out from the kitchen. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Silco and Vander sitting in the living room with Isha and Powder, playing some board game they brought with them from their last vacation.

Walking to the front door, she’s a bit confused, you’ve never shown up an hour early, and you didn’t text her you were on your way like you usually do. Not bothering to look through the peephole, she opens the front door and her jaw drops.

“Vi!”

She reaches out and engulfs the girl in a hug, lifting her off the ground in the process.

“Hey Sev.”

The muffled reply makes Sevika laugh, and she puts Vi down, grabbing her shoulders so she can get a better look at her.

“What are you doing here, I thought you weren’t getting back ‘til next wee— Did you cut your hair?”

Sevika brushes her hand onto the side of Vi’s head, feeling the prickliness there.

“It suits you.”

“That’s what I said.”

A voice Sevika doesn’t recognize speaks up, and she slowly turns her head towards the source. A girl stands there, the same age as Vi, wearing a coat way fancier than anything she’s ever owned. The moment Sevika makes eye contact with her, the girl’s smile drops and an air of nervousness surrounds her.

“And who might you be?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Caitlyn, Kiramman, I’m Vi’s fr—“

“Girlfriend. She’s my girlfriend.”

Sevika glances back towards Vi, eyebrow raised. She’s never mentioned a girlfriend in all the phone calls and video chats they’ve had this year.

Looking back towards the girl, Caitlyn, she decides to ask her the questions running through her head.

“Since when?”

Caitlyn starts rambling, reeking of anxiety.

“Well, um we started talking at the beginning of this year, but it didn’t get serious until the spring, and then over summer break we made it official—“

Sevika cuts her off, just wanting a straight answer.

“Months. How many months?”

“Oh! Um, six? Six.”

A nervous smile creeps onto her face, and her eyes bounce back and forth between Sevika and Vi, the latter pinching the bridge of her nose in embarrassment. She knew the introductions would go like this.

“Right…and you two are official enough to start meeting each other’s families?”

That’s when Vi steps in, moving to stand next to Caitlyn and interlock their fingers.

“Yeah. I’ve already met her family, and they like me.”

“Hm.”

Sevika’s gaze flits back and forth between the two teenagers, deciding how to go about this.

Obviously Vi is serious about this girl if she’s bringing her home, but the fact that she just sprung this on her without any warning warrants a conversation.

Later though, it’s cold and Sevika didn’t grab a coat before opening the door.

“Well… Caitlyn?”

The girl nods, an actual smile gracing her face now, and even Vi’s mouth quirks up.

Sevika sticks her hand out in greeting, now that the shock has worn off.

“It’s nice to meet you, you can call me Sevika.”

Caitlyn’s eyes widen at the sheer size of her hand, but she takes it in her own, making sure to firmly shake it and keep eye contact with Sevika while doing so.

“Pleasure to meet you, as well.”

Sevika nods, maybe this girl isn’t as meek as she looks.

“Let’s head inside, it’s cold out here.”

Sevika steps aside and lets the two girls walk in first, helping with their bags before shutting the door and walking over to the living room, noticing the concerned looks Silco and Vander are sending her over the now forgotten game.

“Relax, everything’s fine.”

She smiles big.

“We just had some unexpected guests.”

Moving out of the way so everyone can see who was at the door, Powder and Isha run to Vi, crushing her in a hug on either side.

“No way, I thought you weren’t getting here until next week!”

Vi hugs her sisters back with equally as much enthusiasm, even lifting Isha up into her arms.

“Yeah, I took my finals ahead of time so we decided to head down early.”

At that very moment, all eyes in the room realize there’s another person there, and it goes silent.

“Um, hi everyone, I’m Caitlyn, Vi’s fr— girlfriend.”

She lightly waves, unsure of what else to say. Sevika takes the opportunity to stand next to her and clap a hand on her shoulder. The girl is just as tall as her, she realizes, but that doesn’t change her approach.

“Yup, her girlfriend, so Powder, why don’t you set an extra place for her at the table?”

Forcing a smile, Powder laughs and walks into the kitchen, grabbing one more of everything.

Making sure none of the adults can see her, she catches Vi’s eye and mouths I thought you guys broke up?

Vi replies long story, I’ll tell you later to which Powder just chuckles to herself and walks back to the couch.

“I’m gonna go finish dinner, girls, why don’t you join everyone in the living room? I’ll call you when the food’s ready.”

Sevika makes sure to give Vander a look that says keep an eye on them and he nods with a smile, knowing exactly what she means.

Almost another hour passes, and Sevika’s just about to start serving the food when the doorbell rings. She quickly checks her phone, and yup, you text her that you were on your way a few minutes ago.

“I’ll get it!”

Letting out a sigh, Sevika checks herself in the mirror in the entryway, making sure no messy hair or stray food crumbs are visible, and answers the door.

“Hey.”

Your usual beaming smile is instead replaced by a tired one, and it’s not reaching your eyes the way it normally does.

“Hi.”

Sevika’s mouth twists into a slight frown at the sight of you.

“Rough day?”

You let out a weary sigh and nod, rubbing your eyes.

“Yeah, this week’s been hell. I don’t think I’ve slept more than five hours combined in the last few days.”

Seeing you like this doesn’t sit right with Sevika. She’s never seen you so run down before, and she wishes she could do something about it.

“Sounds about right, but on the bright side, it’s all over after this weekend.”

This gets an actual smile out of you, the first one of the day.

“That’s pretty much the only thing keeping me going.”

Sevika chuckles and stands to the side, gesturing you inside.

“Come on in, I’ve got food on the stove but I’m sure the girls would be happy to see you.”

You give her another smile and walk through the doorway, Sevika not realizing that she was holding her breath until you’re all the way in.

After kicking your shoes off and placing your bag in the corner, Sevika guides you over to the couch where Silco, Vander, and the two younger girls are sitting.

Hearing footsteps, Powder and Isha turn around and jump up immediately upon seeing you.

“Teach, hi!”

You give them each hugs, seeing them definitely boosts your mood and Sevika notices.

Upon hearing someone clearing their throat, you and Sevika both look over at the two men sitting on the couch, wearing matching grins.

“Oh right, this is Vander, my best friend and coworker, and next to him is Silco, my other best friend and Vander’s husband and our boss.”

The two of them stand up and make their way over to you, shaking your hand as you introduce yourself.

“Nice to meet you both, it’s good to know there’s even more adults in the girls’ lives. It truly takes a village.”

That gets a chuckle out of them, and they nod as Vander answers you.

“It definitely does, especially when Sevika first took the girls in, it was all hands on deck. But I’d say they turned out all right.”

He punctuates his sentence by clapping his hand on Sevika’s shoulder and winking.

She rolls her eyes at him, looking at you to say something snarky about him, but it gets caught in her throat when she sees that you’re already looking her way, eyes locked onto hers, a curious look in them.

First took the girls in?

Sevika quickly looks away and clears her throat, scanning the room and looking for a change in subject.

“We should go check on Powder’s project! Don’t wanna keep you here longer than you have to be.”

You nod your head at that, remembering what you came over for.

“Yeah, of course.”

Vander and Silco sit back down on the couch, Isha following, continuing their game from before.

“I’ll show you, teach.”

Powder leads you into the garage, Sevika starting to follow behind until a realization pops into her head.

“Where’s Vi?”

“Oh, she said she had to grab something from her room.”

Vander replied nonchalantly, but something doesn’t seem quite right.

“And the girlfriend?”

“She— oh.”

Sevika groans, heading down the hallway to Vi’s room, turning the handle to open the door, but it’s locked.

Sevika grumbles and starts knocking, loud enough to alert the entire neighborhood if need be.

“Vi!”

A couple seconds pass and there’s no response. Sevika knocks again, even more loudly.

“Vi!”

Sevika presses her ear up to the door to hear a shuffling noise on the other side, but nothing else.

Gritting her teeth, it takes everything in Sevika to not knock the door down, knowing you’re in the house.

She’s been through this with Vi before, her rebellious phase in high school cost Sevika more than a few grey hairs.

“Vi, open the damn door, now!”

There’s another shuffle on the other side, but nothing more after that. Sevika’s just about to try the door again when it finally opens, revealing a sheepish looking Vi.

Sevika crosses her arms and glares daggers into her daughter.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing in there?”

Vi winces, she knows what it looks like, but she scrambles to explain herself.

“Caitlyn was taking a nap! That’s all it was, I swear. Well, we were taking a nap, I guess, but I locked the door out of habit, not because we were doing anything. We just had a long drive.”

Sevika’s eyebrow is arched, and she peers into the room to see Caitlyn laid on the bed, soft snores coming from her.

“That girl must be one hell of a heavy sleeper, I was knocking on the door good.”

Vi nods in agreement.

“She is, she sleeps through all the fire alarms at school.”

As soon as the sentence escapes her mouth, Vi squeezes her lips together and Sevika just sighs.

Remembering how she acted at this age, she couldn’t fault Vi too much, but she was still going to set boundaries.

“Look, Vi…if you’re both gonna stay here, we need some ground rules. You guys don’t sleep in the same room, she can stay on the pullout couch for the time being, and if the two of you are gonna hang out, it needs to be where I can see you, with the door open.”

Vi sighs, knowing that she’s being completely reasonable, especially with her history.

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

Sevika puts a hand on her hip and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m trusting you, kid. Don’t make me regret it.”

Sevika walks back into the living room, but not before making sure Vi’s door is wide open.

Heading into the garage, she sees you and Powder looking over her project, using scientific terms that are lost on her.

You hear Sevika walk in and look up, shooting her a warm smile. She stands over the two of you, watching the project closely.

Feeling her presence, Powder looks up at her, but there’s a mischievous glimmer in her eyes that she hides when the two of you look at her.

“I need to go ask Vi something, I’ll be right back!”

Powder leaves before either of you can say anything, and you realize you’re alone with Sevika for the first time in a while.

Sevika can practically feel the weight of being alone with you, it’s making her heart thrum with such intensity, she wonders how you can’t hear it.

Clearing her throat, she nods at the project.

“It looks really good.”

You let out a content sigh, staring at the piece in front of you.

“Yeah, it looks even better than I imagined, she’s really talented. As long as she nails the oral presentation, I think she’s in.”

Sevika nods, crossing her arms, not knowing what else to say. She steals a quick glance at you and is stunned by how amazing you look even under the fluorescent lights of the garage.

She quickly looks away, heat crawling up her face. Her thoughts running all over the place, the silence in the garage is deafening. It’s never been this awkward with you, but she’s too in her own head to relax.

Sensing the anticipation in the air, you turn towards her, but Sevika quickly looks away. You realize that there’s been an underlying level of tension between the two of you, one that you’ve been trying to justify, but it’s suddenly become hard to do so now that you’re standing next to her and the tension is permeating the room.

Taking a step towards her, unable to help yourself, her eyes dart up to yours, unsure of what you’re doing.

“You sure? You seem…off.”

Reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder, the feel of her muscle under your palm sends a jolt of warmth through your system.

Sevika’s cheeks begin to heat up, and she’s suddenly thankful her blush isn’t visible.

She feels like she’s burning under your touch, the feeling sending her mind into a whirl, and before she can think, she reaches up and covers your hand with her own.

“I’m fine, I swear, I’m not sick.”

You open your mouth to say something when the door opens and the two of you break apart immediately.

“Hey, Sev—“

A girl you don’t recognize walks in, but you see a resemblance to Powder, so you assume she’s the oldest daughter you’ve seen in pictures around the house.

Sevika curses under her breath, and her skin is still on fire from your touch.

“What is it, Vi?”

She rubs her forehead, trying to bring her heartbeat down to its normal rate.

“Uncle Silco’s asking where the extra chairs are…who’s this?”

Sevika’s mind takes a second to catch up to the conversation before answering.

“This is Powder’s teacher, she was just finishing up looking over her project—“

Vi’s eyes widen and her lips curl into a smile, she’s heard all about you from both her sisters.

“Ah, okay. Nice to finally meet you, Powder talks about you a lot.”

You smile at that, albeit a bit nervously.

“All good things, I hope.”

Vi just nods, not giving you much to go on.

“Yeah. You know, you look really familiar.”

Suddenly, she cocks her head and you’re unsure if you like her tone.

“Oh?”

Eyebrows furrow at that, you don’t know where you’d know each other from considering you never had Vi as a student.

And she’s definitely too young to hang out at the lesbian bar you like.

She shrugs, giving an air of nonchalance but there’s something in her eyes you can’t quite place.

“I’ll figure it out eventually.”

Sevika looks between the two of you, confusion laced in her features. The air feels stuffy, and she feels the need to break the sudden tension.

“Dinner’s about ready guys, we should head in.”

The unofficial staring contest between you and Vi is broken and you both look at Sevika, Vi nodding and you giving her a small smile.

Vi heads in first, with you following and Sevika bringing up the rear.

Once you’re all in the kitchen, you see another girl you don’t recognize talking with the two men you met earlier.

“Guys, come sit down! You too, Caitlyn.”

Sevika calls everyone over to the table, and she introduces you to the unfamiliar face when she gets close enough.

“Oh, sorry, this is Caitlyn, Vi’s girlfriend.”

You smile at the teenager, shaking her hand in a polite manner and introducing yourself as well.

You’re about to tell Sevika that you’re going to head out when Powder asks if you’ll be staying for dinner.

Truth be told, you’d never turn down Sevika’s cooking, but with the addition of their two uncles and Vi and her girlfriend, you don’t feel like adding to the crowd.

“I would, but I’ve got to finish grading finals by this weekend and—“

“They’ll still be there when you get back, we’d love to get to know you better.”

Your eyes flick over to the taller of the two men, Vander, you remember. Silco sitting next to him smacks his arm, reminding him of his manners.

“Don’t cut her off, babe, that’s rude.”

Vander just chuckles and lays his arm on the back of his chair, squeezing his shoulder.

“My apologies. I just meant, we’d love for you to stay but if you have work to get back to, we understand.”

Flashing him a tight smile, you open your mouth to answer when another voice speaks up.

“You should stay. Seriously.”

Vi’s sitting at the table pouring herself something to drink when she looks up at you expectantly. For some reason, her asking feels more serious and you feel obligated to say yes.

Vander sees the surprise on your face at Vi’s request and tries to keep the curiosity off his own. Sevika can’t help but mirror his thoughts, finding it surprising that Vi seems to want you to stay. You look around the table, seeing all eyes waiting on you to answer.

“Well, I guess I’ll have time tomorrow…”

“Great, glad to have you.”

Sevika says it louder than she intended to, but seeing the smile appear on your face makes her regret it less. Powder grins from across the table and gets up to set an extra place for you. You’re seated directly across from Vi, which makes you a bit nervous but you try to brush it off.

Despite the initial awkwardness between the two of you, there’s a lot of chatter during dinner.

Silco and Vander get into a heated debate over some new law the city council is proposing. Powder is explaining to Caitlyn why her project works the way it does and gets lost in the technical jargon, Isha asking questions once in a while.

Sevika and you spend the entire dinner in your own world, the time spent apart catching up to you both and you’ve almost forgotten how much you enjoy her company. Vi watches the two of you engrossed in each other, but she stays silent.

That changes towards the end of dinner when she directs a question towards you that makes you wish you’d never accepted the invitation tonight.

“Wait, I think I remember where I know you from. Do you know someone named Gert?”

You almost drop your fork. There’s no way she’s talking about the same person you’re thinking about, right?

“Gert…?”

Vi goes on to describe exactly who you were dreading she meant, and it makes you feel sick. You try to swallow down your nausea and figure out where this conversation is going.

“What about her? How do you know her?”

Your answer sounds a bit more defensive than you meant it to be, but Sevika hears the slight shift in your tone.

Vi picks up on it as well, and a look you can’t read flickers across her face. She shrugs and replies nonchalantly.

“Oh, me and her daughter are close friends, we used to go to school together.”

Shifting in her chair to lean forward a little, Vi locks eyes with you to see how you’ll react.

“Is that right?”

You don’t like where this is going, but with all eyes at the table on you, choosing your words carefully is important.

Breaking eye contact with you, Vi starts scraping her fork on her plate.

“Yeah, I remember her telling me about someone her mom was dating a few years back. A teacher, chemistry teacher, actually.”

Your breathing starts picking up, but you try not to let any emotion show.

“They even ended up getting engaged. But right before the wedding, the woman called it off. No explanation, nothing.”

Your eyes close in frustration, that is not what happened but of course that’s what Gert told people. At this point, everyone else’s conversations have slowly faded away and they’re all tuned into this one.

“Not until later on, people found out that Gert’s fianceé was having an affair and that’s why she called off the wedding.”

Eyes snapping open, your jaw clenches but you can’t bring yourself to say anything, frozen in shock and anger and sadness. You’ve spent years trying to heal from that event in your life, and now it’s being brought up with no regard for the truth.

“So that’s why you ended up moving here? To get away from what you did to that family?”

That causes Sevika to break from her trance and she speaks up.

“Vi, what are you talking about?”

The teenager ignores her, opting to lean back in her chair and cross her arms, locking eyes with you.

Your mouth is opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. You can’t get out the explanation you want to give, the truth.

It was the other way around, Gert cheated on you and you called off the wedding when you found out. You only moved because you couldn’t take seeing her around town, surrounded by the memories of your former life. But the panic settling in your chest prevented you from saying any of that.

“Um, I…”

Your fight or flight kicked in, and for the first time in your life, you didn’t choose fight.

Maybe it was because you were caught off guard, or because it was in front of people you cared about, but you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I need to go, I’m sorry.”

Scrambling up from the table, you shoot Sevika an apologetic look and rush to the door, grabbing your things and slamming it on your way out.

The entire table is silent, and Sevika is fuming.

“Everyone out.”

Sevika keeps her tone level, but her look is hard enough to have even Silco and Vander standing up without question.

“Um, girls, let’s go to the store and get some dessert, yeah? You too, Caitlyn.”

They rush out the door with the girls in tow, leaving Vi and Sevika in a silent staring contest.

“What in the hell was that about?”

Sevika didn’t like cursing at her daughters, but it was taking every ounce of self restraint to not blow up right now.

Vi just scoffs.

“Do you think I’m stupid? I’ve been watching you two all night, plus all the stuff Powder’s been telling me. You like her.”

Now it’s Sevika’s turn to scoff.

“First of all, I don’t like her, she’s Powder’s teacher and she’s been helping out with her project. Second of all, and more importantly, what do you think you’re doing dropping a bomb like that during dinner?!”

Now Vi has an incredulous look on her face, how did Sevika not get it?

“She’s a cheater! And a liar! I was trying to open your eyes before you get hurt again.”

Sevika freezes at that, now she understands the teenager’s motives.

“Vi…”

The girl cuts her off before she can say anything else.

“I know how much you got hurt last time, Sev. And I talk to the girls, they really like her too, but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t tell you what I know.”

“And you thought the best way to do that was in front of everyone at dinner?”

Vi shrugs a bit, a small scowl gracing her features.

“I didn’t really plan it that way, it just happened.”

Sevika sighs, leaning back in her chair.

“How sure are you that that’s what even happened?”

Looking back up at her, Vi’s mouth twists a bit.

“100%. My friend told me all the details when it happened and her mom was really torn up about it for a while. I put it all together when I saw her in person. You deserve someone better than that.”

Sevika’s eyes narrow in annoyance.

“It’s not your job to protect me.”

Vi lets out a bitter scoff.

“No? Then who’s supposed to?”

At this Sevika’s face softens, but she doesn’t have an answer for her.

She starts rubbing her face, this whole situation was fucked now.

“I know you meant well, Vi, but that was not the way to go about it. She’s still Powder’s teacher, and if your sister goes to the next round of this competition, we both still have to be in contact with her.”

Vi hadn’t thought that far, and now she feels guilty for putting them in that position.

“Oh…I didn’t realize that.”

All Sevika can do is groan, rubbing her forehead as she feels the beginning of a headache coming on.

“Exactly. I know you think you have to be an adult, but you don’t. Just…be a kid, and leave the rest up to me, okay?”

Vi finally makes eye contact with Sevika, eyes slightly watering as the gravity of the situation settles on her shoulders.

“Okay.”

“Go hang out in your room or something, okay? I need a minute.”

Vi gets up from the table slowly, walking into her room and shutting the door. As soon as she’s alone, Sevika lets out a heavy breath.

Seeing the look on your face combined with the fact that you didn’t deny it…it didn’t bode well, she’ll admit. Sevika’s mind is racing, trying to process everything that’s happened in the last thirty minutes. Hearing that you cheated on someone you were with, let alone engaged to is hitting her hard. Of course you have a past, but that was always something she never tolerated in a relationship, and this has her rethinking the fact that she wanted to pursue you.

Sevika gets up from the table and walks over to the kitchen window, looking out at the night sky, trying to find some clarity in her thoughts.

She wonders if she should even bring it up to you, but she’s terrified of what she’ll find out. Sevika always prided herself on being a great judge of character, never trusting someone unless they’ve earned it. She can’t help but wonder where things went wrong regarding you.

Walking into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of bourbon, she heads into the garage to listen to her music as loud as possible to try and drown out her thoughts.

That doesn’t last long as her mind immediately drifts to you and how you’re doing. She even pulls out her phone to call you, staring at your contact card for what seems like ages but ultimately deciding against it.

Not that you would’ve answered even if she had, as soon as you got home, you ran into your room and dove under the covers, crying your eyes out.

You had done so much work to heal from that relationship, and to hear how she lied to everyone to make herself the victim made you sick. It shouldn’t surprise you, she was always selfish like that, you just wish you had realized it sooner. What hurt more was that her daughter believed it all too, but why wouldn’t she take her mom’s side?

That was a big reason why you were hesitant to approach anything with Sevika, the fact that she had daughters who were attached to you would make a breakup that much harder.

The tears came faster at that realization and you cried yourself to sleep soon after that, finally escaping the emotional turmoil of the night.

After a couple hours of trying to think of anything else at all, Sevika decides to grab a quick shower. As she undresses, her mind replays the last couple hours. She can’t help but linger on the last look you gave her before you left, the betrayal and pain on your face.

Stepping in the shower, Sevika lets out a sigh relishing the way the hot water feels against her skin. Eventually the water runs cold and she realizes how long she’s been in there, quickly jumping out and wrapping a towel around herself.

Feeling sluggish now, she puts her pajamas on and slides into bed, unable to close her eyes even though her body is begging for sleep. A million thoughts running through her head, she decides to go on her phone for a little, hoping that’ll help. Eventually, she sees a notification for a suggested friend, and it’s you.

Clicking on the same profile she’s seen a thousand times, she stares at your profile picture until she feels the need to talk to you.

Sevika opens up her text messages and clicks on the tab with your name, starting to type out her thoughts. She pours everything she’s been feeling, about tonight, the last couple months, everything. It’s more therapeutic than she expected, and by the end of her lengthy message, she actually feels relaxed.

Suddenly feeling vulnerable, a wave of panic washes over her and she deletes everything she had typed out. No, it’s better this way, she tells herself. A relationship with someone who cheated in the past isn’t something she’s interested in at this stage in her life, for herself or her girls.

Putting her phone down, she closes her eyes and tries to forget about how your face looked tonight, never wanting to see it that way again.

Little does she know, you’ve woken up from your dreamless slumber and had the same idea to reach out, so you’ve been staring at your screen with bated breath. After what feels like ages, you’re expecting a book length text when all of a sudden, the bubble disappears.

Sitting up in bed, you wait for it to pop back up, but after a few minutes of staring at your screen, you realize she’s not going to send it and crumple into your sheets. Feeling a new wave of sadness take over you, a fresh set of tears brim behind your closed eyelids, and you try to resign yourself to sleep yet again.

taglist! @daughterofthemoons-stuff @vii-v @runawaybaby3 @ferxanda @sevikas-whore @vikashoneybee @sleepingwasp

#dun dun dun..........no one saw that coming (right)#angsty teen vi coming in like a freight train #cant really blame her though id do the same for my mom tbh #anyways! hope everyone likes the chapter pllllssssssss share your thoughts w me i live off feedback :)#sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika fluff #sevika angst #sevika arcane #arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane fluff #arcane angst

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copperbadge · 10 months ago

Text

Routing the El

@mbta-unofficial recently "routed" the T in Boston, riding through every T stop in the city in a single day. I love public transit and random fuckery so this appealed to me instantly, but even @mbta-unofficial admitted they didn't know how they'd route the El here in Chicago. I know nothing about routing and very little about certain parts of the El even after living here as long as I have, but I'm willing to take a swing.

The first question is one of simple logistics: are we riding every stop, or every train that passes through a stop?

In other words, there are many stops that multiple lines pass through, and the question is whether it's enough to pass through each stop on a train, or do I need to ride the entirety of the line, then backtrack and hit the same stations on a different line? This wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for the purple line, which is an express from Evanston that covers much of the northern red line branch and a huge whack of the brown line as well. If I'm covering lines, I almost certainly need to start with purple.

Moreover, do I include the yellow line, which is an extension built to serve basically a single suburb? It feels snobbish to ignore it; it is outside of Chicago proper but then so are several stops on the blue and green. But it also feels very Chicagoan not to acknowledge it, and it is going to be a massive pain in the ass to include because there's nothing near it. I would just be riding out to the Dempster-Skokie stop and back, or starting at Dempster-Skokie and then having to backtrack up the purple line.

Which leads to the next question: where to begin? @mbta-unofficial's route began at one of the termini, Braintree, which they traveled to get to, so in theory one could, and probably should, begin at an endpoint, but the T also isn't structured exactly like the El; there is a central exchange, but nothing as cohesive as the Loop, around which almost every line circulates and which every line at least touches except the yellow. But living downtown, I could also begin at a Loop station, or a red or blue line station that touches the Loop.

So let's set some rules for the initial run, and once that's accomplished, we'll see about adding complications.

Every station, not every line. As long as I touch every station while on a train, it counts.

However, if the stations are discrete, I have to hit them twice -- in other words, I have to touch Monroe and Jackson twice, once on the Red and once on the Blue, because the platforms are accessible to each other but separated by a passageway several blocks long. I'll have to touch Lake twice, once on the Red, because it's both elevated and underground.

I'm going to disqualify the Yellow not because it's suburban but because it doesn't touch the Loop. This is the rule I'd most likely revisit if I was going to attempt this several times.

I am also going to disqualify the purple line, not via the "loop exception" but because it will knock almost half the red line off the map for me in about a third of the time it would otherwise take, but even so having to start at Linden kind of fucks me. Given the purple line's extremely limited running time, there's an argument for disqualification, but this is another rule I'd revisit on a second attempt.

Removing the purple line makes routing a lot easier. And I think the starting point then becomes both obvious and poetic: we start at O'Hare, where it costs double to board the train.

O'Hare blue line all the way to Forest Park is an easy first leap, and from there I think it's most rational to bus to the green at Harlem/Lake and ride it all the way to Cottage Grove. From Cottage Grove, backtrack to Garfield to cover the Ashland-63rd leg of the green line, and then again back to Garfield to disembark and walk to the Garfield red line, which I can take south to 95th/Dan Ryan, then north again to Roosevelt (another two-touch stop). I can catch the Orange at Roosevelt south to Midway and back north again unless there's a fast bus to 54th/Cermak; presuming there's not, depending on stop times I can either take the Orange line back to hit any missing loop station or transfer to the Pink and then take that out to 54th/Cermak. Either way I need to get back into the Loop and catch the Brown out to Kimball, then back to Belmont (or Montrose and bus to Wilson), north to Howard, then south to Harrison on the Red line. Convenient to end at my home station -- I didn't plan it around that, but it's a nice touch.

If I really wanted to get ADHD about this I could sit down with timetables and work out ways to catch trains within the loop to shave minutes off, but El timetables are essentially worthless these days.

I think that's a functional plan. Working off my base knowledge of the trains and also with the reminder that I'm pretty time-blind, I'm estimating:

Blue line O'Hare to Forest Park: 2hrs

Bus to Harlem/Lake: The 318 picks up every 15 minutes and takes 8 minutes, so guesstimate 30 minutes to be on the safe side.

Green Line Harlem/Lake to Cottage Grove: 1.5hrs

Cottage Grove back up to Garfield and down to Ashland/63rd: Again no idea, but probably at least 30 minutes

Ashland/63rd to Garfield and transfer to Red Line Garfield: 30 minutes?

Red Line Garfield to 95th/Dan Ryan and back to Roosevelt: 1.5hrs

Orange Line Roosevelt to Midway: 30 minutes

The 54B bus comes every 20 minutes and take 40 minutes to get from Midway to 54th/Cermak, which is still I thiiiink faster than doing Orange back to Washington/Wells and then Pink out and back. Mulling this one still. Either way, Pink line gets me to Clark/Lake

Walk to Washington/Wells, Brown Line around the loop to hit the missing Loop stations, to Kimball: 1hr

Kimball to Belmont: 30mins

Belmont Red Line to Howard: 1hr (Red line to Howard is HIGHLY variable, I've had it take anywhere from 40-90 minutes from Harrison)

Howard to Harrison: 1hr

About 13 hours in total, let's say my time to beat is 15 hours.

I can't do it this coming weekend; I have all-day events both days. I can't take a day off next week either, I'm going to be slammed at work ahead of an event. So my best bet is either Saturday or Sunday the 20th/21st, or taking Wednesday the 24th off...

Or this Friday. I could call in sick with few ramifications.

Well, I'll keep prepping for now -- find the bus I need from Forest Park to Harlem/Lake, then maybe run the whole route through Google Maps to see what it thinks the timing estimate would be. It might even have some ways to shave time off -- still looking at that Pink-Orange transfer and wondering.

And I need to find places around transfer points to take bathroom breaks since the El doesn't have public restrooms. I can probably get to a bathroom at Midway and back in the 12-minute delay time between arrival and departure...

#chicago #trains #mbta-unofficial #amtrak-unofficial #would welcome feedback from the Train Twins #or others who have input #the great train routery

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