#Toxic Culture

[nonbinarymlm]

This is your regular reminder: don’t tell people to kill themselves!

Don’t normalize suicide. Don’t normalize suicide baiting. Don’t treat suicide as a punishment for bad people. Don’t ignore the immense trauma people have relating to suicide.

Suicide is a serious and deadly mental health issue. Suicide is not your “gotcha”. Don’t tell people to kill themselves. Don’t tell people to commit suicide.

Even if the person you’re talking to “deserves” suicide (though suicide isn’t a punishment for being bad or whatever), you are still normalizing an unhealthy culture around suicide. You are normalizing suicide baiting. You are propping up a culture that treats suicide like a joke or a punishment. You are promoting unhealthy, toxic things.

Marginalized people are often disproportionately vulnerable to suicide. People struggling with mental health issues are disproportionately vulnerable to suicide.

Telling someone to commit suicide or kill themselves does not make you look clever, funny, or correct. It doesn’t do anything positive for the world. Don’t.

I’ve seen people get way too comfy doing this on tumblr and online in general. It’s time to stop that.

[malconnorsupremacy]

i feel so so fucking tired all the time because all I'm expected to do day and night is study my ass off to be part of the 1% of students in this country that actually get into my dream college or I'm absolutely fucked in a tier 2 or tier 3 college that's gonna mess up my education (not to mention bankrupt my parents). i want to read books and dance and watch a movie or a show I like but I can't because if I do, im overwhelmed by such a huge wave of guilt that I cry myself to sleep.

listen I KNOW it's not healthy but what do you expect me to do when my teachers threaten to kick us out of the hierarchical top batches if we aren't in the top 10 in every fucking test? the pressure is insane, the study culture is so toxic, and the questions in our textbooks aren't getting easier.

and any time I so much as complain about this, I'm hit with the same old "you signed up for exactly this" and "you asked for this when you took up this stream". i understand that I was aware of how difficult this exam is but that doesn't negate my terrible experience up until now. to know about it is different than actively experiencing it. im just so tired.

[kharmii]

I wrote this as a reply to a post, but maybe it should get added to the tags so anybody getting into the ship has a place to look up origins all in one place for context. There are too many people with 'Queen Bee Syndrome' going around pissing in people's cheerios telling them what they can and can't ship. It isn't as bad as they say, yo. It was supposed to be humorous! Anyway....

I've been seeing so much Catholic guilt on Twitter these days where people be like, "I can't believe I used to like Trainwreck! It makes me want to vomit! Why would I think it was sexy to see a guy beating up another guy!" It's either pretentious virtue signaling, or it's coming from scared young girls being brow-beaten by the threat of cancel culture into having to prove how good and perfect they are in fandom. Get over yourselves and check out my collection of vintage Trainwreckshipping posts that (facetiously) explain the context of why violence was funny.

Emmet goes to fight God but Arceus hides behind a pillar and points to Volo.

Manipulative Volo laughs about what he did but...oh no! Here comes the pissed off brother!!

Princess bride meme rough handling of Volo.

Emmet chokes Volo.

TAKE THAT YOU VILE FIEND!! (Emmet punches Volo meme)

Emmet chases Volo riding on Arceus.

Emmet chokes Volo but ends up with a knife pressing into his gut.

Volo plays a mean prank to mess with the twins.

Sexual tension with a knife part 1.

Sexual tension with a knife part 2.

Sexual tension with a knife part 3.

Volo so smug and manipulative; Emmet so crazy.

Death threat.

Emmet bloodies Volo's nose.

Where Volo is actually evil and bad ends Emmet.

Emmet coming to whoop some ass.

Giratina possessed Emmet threatens to assault Volo.

Emmet goes after Volo with a brick.

Brave soul who is still doing toxic trainwreck in modern times.

Oops (It never gets old).

Me taking the piss part 1.

Me taking the piss part 2.

If I missed any, please pm me and I'll add them (and I'll keep adding to this post as I finds 'em).

This might be an unpopular opinion, but if someone gives you a hard time for being into this ship, you could always reply along the lines of, "Fuck you, pretentious, virtue-signaling twat. I don't owe you or anybody else anything. Nobody should be judging a person's morality based on what silly thing they ship" It might not get you any friends now, but I'm holding out hope we one day get past cancel culture. Currently, we give too much power to seasoned bullies who use the current political environment as a way to get around the social stigma of anti-bullying campaigns.

[vividdreamer]

Short poem for all those who live in places that forbid even the simplest desires, and are dreaming about moving away.

𝑨 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒈𝒐𝒍𝒅

A wild bear paces about in circles;

behind rusting bars they dream of trees.

A circus with patterns of red and purple,

few colors for an eternity to see.

I burry myself 'neath the covers,

and dream of soft pastels and gold.

A world with strife like all others,

but happier for the young and old.

— vividdreamer (tumblr)

do not repost without my permission

[hoodie-cinnamon-girl]

You have no idea how hard it is to be a daughter in a brown family. You'll often find yourself asking questions like "why am I born?" "how do I run away" "when will all this end?"

[bannedandburned]

Don't take the Ozempic...

Every day I'm on social media my algorithm hits me with ads about how easy it would be to get Ozempic. Imagine the weight falling off like you dreamed. Ignore everything you know about the side effects.

It would likely destroy me. Depression and vomiting are some of the main symptoms. I could die from my bowels not moving the waste from my system. But I know I'm vulnerable to this. I was never more depressed but also slobbering vain and self obsessed than when I successfully lost weight.

It scares me how bad I want it. I would self destruct. There's no skinny that would satisfy me. And then I'd hate myself for the loose skin on my face. It would never end happily.

I'm typing this from a treadmill, I'm bringing a salad to work for dinner. I hate my own weakness and how profoundly slow and unnoticeable healthy weight loss is. There's no happy ending here, just a life or trying to take care of myself. But I must not take the Ozempic. I must not.

[loubella77]

18+ MDNI

[shebelongstoshe]

Everyday in my life hurts. My workplaces, people close to me, the state of society, the state of mother earth, the state of women, the state of children, the state of education, the state of people. It is so hard to be around so much exploitation, moral corruption, incongruence and evil.

[justanotherdrfan]

When that asshole decides to open his incompetent mouth (yet again) and has the nerve to say their now working on culture within the team. Where the fuck was that mentality LAST YEAR YOU ABSOLUTE PRICK?

[erinfulmerwrites]

Love love love being me and thinking things are finally going ok only to get that good old slap in the face reminder that my mode of contribution to (work, community, art, family) is not preferred by the majority, that my contributions are both too little (lazy, “not connected,” inconvenient to accommodate) and too much (too loud, too wordy, too demanding, too uncomfortable), and that I’m the problem if I speak up or feel hurt about any of this (oversensitive, reading into things, misinterpreting)

[gazeofseer]

"In the fear of becoming egoistic I kept punishing myself with unkindness" - Sandhya

[kinzzatariq]

How to Navigate in a Toxic Workplace!!

Are you facing challenges in a toxic work environment? Many professionals encounter toxic dynamics that can impact their well-being and productivity. But fear not! With the right approach, you can manage and even thrive in such environments. Managing in a toxic workplace can be challenging but here are some tips to help you navigate:- – Self-care is Key: Prioritize your mental and physical…

[absurdlakefront]

The elite should not—they have no right to—expect sympathy from those who remain excluded from the privileges and benefits of high caste. But ignoring how oppressive meritocracy is for the rich is a mistake. The rich now dominate society not idly but effortfully. The familiar arguments that once defeated aristocratic inequality do not apply to an economic system based on rewarding effort and skill. The relentless work of the hundred-hour-a-week banker inoculates her against charges of unearned advantage. Better, then, to convince the rich that all their work isn’t actually paying off.

[moddymoon]

? + ? + ? = message, and a block?

Yeah... OK...

Yeah, well, you *could* go... "hey I want to block this person, so I'll block this person."

Or you could be the really awesome person this person is...

"I want to block this person, so I'll send an aggressive, unclear message, and block them. This is the way to prove I'm not toxic."

Ie. Apparently "Tumblr Culture," seems to be, "How to be toxic, and claim everyone else is toxic."

[bawdybean]

I saw you mention in the comments that you were also banned from the 30+ Fanfic Discord Server without warning or explanation. Would you be willing to share your story?

Sure why not. So I joined the server because I had several friends on there who were enjoying it, and then once I was there, a bunch MORE friends joined. It was nice for a bit, but I noticed quite quickly that there was one mod (Adela) who was... a bit aggressive. A hair trigger for correcting others but often did not follow the rules themselves- and that bothered me a lot due to previous fandom experience.

As an example, I invited a friend, and then left quite quickly because within a single day, Adela had come at them over their opinion on the ability of someone to write from a perspective they don't have (such as writing across genders etc). The mod apologized eventually and said they were very touchy about it because of a friend. Oookay. The flags were there but I chose to keep giving it a try. It is supposed to be a server full of adults (30+ is the whole point) and we were encouraged to act like adults- in the rules. But in practice, any phrase that any member or mod could interpret wrong was worthy of the mods reminding us not to do X Y o r Z because it might be offensive to someone. When I spoke up and asked that also maybe everyone could assume good intent as well? I was shushed and talked down to. I always felt that the mods were trying to "parent" the server. Adela in particular. One mod would tell me one thing and then Adela would come in HOURS later to correct both me and that mod.

Finally fed up with this I messaged the Server Owner Maryberry. I explained that I felt Adela was targeting some members of the server, and that I felt treated like a child, that ill intent was assumed in members actions first, but that Adela herself often did the things she corrected of others, even though they were not within the rules. I further explained that I had had a previous bad experience with a mod in a large server where I was a mod and that Adela bore a striking resemblance in behaviors. So in fairness part of it was me being set off by that. I asked if I was allowed to block a mod, because this is not explicitly stated in the rules but is the advice we/I would have given in much larger servers in case of a mod/member conflict. I also edxplained that several others had complained to me about Adela's behavior, including getting a DM from a server member I did not know, saying Adela was just like this and that Adela had treated her that way too, and she just wanted me to know I wasn't alone. I blacked out the persons name and passed that message along to Maryberry as well, naively thinking that perhaps they were too close to the situation and just not aware that they had a mod making a LOT of people uncomfortable. Maryberry asked if theycould tell Adela I had a problem with her, and i requested she not as I did not see how that would help in any way. They then requested time to think over if I should be allowed to block a mod. They decided I could, but that I would be at risk of missing messages that were important. I pointed out that I had a partner in the server who would relay those if needed, and that there was rarely if ever only a single mod on and proceeded to block Adella. Who continued to ping me with replies, respond to my comments (at times aggressively still), and all that came with that. I decided to stop speaking in the server because so often what I said drew attention from Adela, and with it criticism or unhelpful argument for the sake of argument. They have (had, idk if its still around) a public channel for asking questions and making suggestions for rule changes etc to the server, and one day someone was upset and requested a new rule that we not be allowed to make any jokes about any language we aren't a native speaker of (such as not being able to say: English can't verb, unless we are native English speaker. I chimed in that it might also be helpful to just assume good intent on the part of other server members and talk to them if they say something you feel is offensive since there is no real way to police if a person is a native speaker of a given language or not. And again a rule like that seemed unnecessarily "mommy-ing" of the adults in this server that claims to promote a mature atmosphere. Another mod responded to me, we all chatted in the channel things seemed fine. Adela came in hours later and scoured my ass, with a pinged reply. At this point I did behave poorly. I admit it. I unblocked Adela and DMd them that I had unblocked them specifically to let them know that I did not appreciate their behivior and that I was requesting that they no ping/reply/address me at all. I sent a screen shot of that DM to MaryBerry. I was not cruel, but I was BLUNT, and I did tell Adela that I did not appreciate her response. For transparency here is a shot of what I sent her.

what I then sent to the server owner

and the warning I received in response:

At this point I decided that the only way for me to be able to be present in the server was to be a lurker, watching and enjoying what my friends and partner participated in but not able to share anything myself. But I stayed because it was one server, where a lot of people I knew had congregated and so much easier than DMing 15 people to keep up with them. Then **4 months later** came the bruhaha that was referenced in part one of this blog. Adela broke rules again, it caused a stir and people spoke up, including me about this continuing to be an issue [mods not applying the rules to themselves or their friends] and retaliating against those who spoke up. One mod asked me in honestly in public chat why I stayed in the server if i did not feel i could even speak in it, and I answered honestly, that I stay because i know and am liked by many people here, and its nice to see what they are up to. Another mod suggested that perhaps I should evaluate if the server was a good fit for me since I didn't feel I could participate, and in that context it came off very much as "get out" to the point of other people asking as well in chat. I asked for clarification if I was being asked to leave the server of my own accord, and was told that no, that was a decision for me to make. I chose to stay, and was unceremoniously banned a day or two later without any further interaction from any mod, any notification, or warning. To be clear in the idk 9+ mo I was in the server I received one warning and I accepted it. As shown above. That was MONTHS before I was banned. When several of my friends asked why I was banned in open chat, the mods released their patented "we never ban without communicating why/warning/etc" and said that unfortunately I was banned for reasons "unrelated" to me questioning why the rules did not apply to the mods.

[howifeltabouthim]

You just have to roll with the abuse, otherwise you're a crazy bitch.

Rebecca Makkai, from I Have Some Questions for You