#Too Old to Keep

[expanding-hyrule]

Too Old to Keep by @ladyhoneydee

Fairytale Fantasy | Teen | AO3 | Complete

Synopsis: The stories run through her mind like a shadowed brook as she trips her way over a tree root. The woods hold wolves, the woods hold deku scrubs. The woods hold spiders as large as a cat, or bigger. The woods hold skull kids. The woods hold stalfos from those that had wandered too far afield—although she’s fairly sure that one is nothing more than a tale to scare children away. If nothing else, the woods hold her imagination, and refuse to let go. -- Or, Zelda gets lost in the woods, and finds more than she expected hidden under the midnight canopy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Too old to keep is a fairytale-style one-shot. Zelda, as a bastard child hardly tolerated in the family of her father, escapes the loveless life that is laid out for her with a stroll in the forest surrounding the mansion. She gets lost, but soon there's a light in the distance. Running out of possibilities, she follows, and in the end, she finds something that she expects the less. Dee did an excellent job of using the full range of applicable forest vocabulary to bring the story to life. Your legs jerks when Zelda trips over a root because the description is so on point: you ARE in the forest with Zelda. I enjoyed especially the love for the lore details in the later part of the story that I'll keep to myself to avoid spoilers. It's a unique spin on the LoZ lore and especially suited for the spooky season, but enjoyable the around the year, too. - ZeldaElmo

An eerie yet charming story that is unfortunately short (I would love to see the trouble they get into). This adventure is delightful, with a mischievous Link and a clever Zelda who absolutely are wonderful to read. Definitely worth a read, and a reread in the spookier seasons. - amelias-hart

This story is a wonderful take on fairy tales about lost children, from the ones who end up in Neverland to the ones taken by magical beings, adapted to Hyrule. Zelda is a girl with very, very little to lose and who yearns to explore the forest on her own. She’s determined, and brave, and smart, and she is very, very lost. Enters a teasing light that draws her deeper and deeper in until she not so much as meets with a choice as grabs it by the scruff of its neck and makes it pay attention to her. The take on the Kokiri and Link himself is unique, and haunting and beautiful both. Definitely worth a read. - Karama9

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can find @ladyhoneydee at AO3.

[chalkrub]

dinosaur in a lab coat - would you trust her with operating the centrifuge

[stump-not-found]

mabel pines #1 hater

[ionomycin]

heartblood

[raconteur-wanpi]

Egghead from Stella's POV is very funny.

[t2316m]

Cass is face blind, not like oh she’s bad at remembering faces but in an actual cannot for the life of her know who she’s looking at kinda way. Instead of faces she uses context clues, body language, and voices to tell who she’s interacting with. She’s gotten pretty good at it each of her family members having an obvious tell that it’s them. Some of them include how Dick always has blue incorporated into his outfit. Jason always smells slightly of gun powder and cigarettes. Tim’s posture is so bad Cass can tell it’s him from a mile away. Damian has green eyes, Steph has blonde hair, Babs has red hair. Cass wishes all the boys had different colored hair, as it would simply make her life a lot easier.

The face blindness really doesn’t impare her abilities during patrol cause all of the Gotham rogues and heroes wear such dramatic outfits Cass doesn’t need to see their face to know who they are.

Unfortunately problems often arise when she’s in civilian form,

Cass: *at starbucks*

Dick: oh my god Cass! is that you?

Cass: *confused but polite* hello.

Dick: hey, how’s your day been?

Cass: *is unsure why this random guy is talking to her but once again polite* good.

Dick: *confused on why his sister is acting weird*...that’s good.

Cass: *grabbing her order and attempting to leave.*

Dick: Wait don’t you want a ride back to the manor?

Cass: No. *rushing away and is very uncomfortable.*

Cass: *halfway down the street, realizing she’s heard that voice before, immediately pulling out her phone*

Dick: Hello?

Cass: Starbucks?

Dick: Yea..

——

Jason: *recently dyed his white streak black cause he was feeling insecure about it*

Cass: *stands next to no streak Jason sitting at the batcomputer* Bruce?

Jason: I beg your finest pardon

Cass: Oh, Hi Jason.

Jason: *on his way to bleach his streak back cause never again.*

——

Bruce: *brings Clark to the manor, they’re both in civilian clothing looking identical.*

Cass: No metas, too confusing.

Cass: *staring directly at Bruce thinking it’s Clark* I. Don’t. Like. You.

Bruce: *has not been this heartbroken since Khoa Khan.* Clark, I think it’s best for you to leave

——

Cass: *staring at the blonde person in the kitchen thinking it’s Steph* oh wow your hair..

Bernard: *also face blind.* Tim…You sound different.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[tempo-takoyaki]

"It would be my pleasure to give you a proper tour and introduce you to everyone."

Here is my full illustration for @svsssbigbang for the fanfiction Night at Cang Qiong Museum by @adventure-waffles! An incredible Night at the Museum x Scum Villain AU! Don't hesitate to also check out the other two artists incredible pieces for this fanfiction: dustmeadowx and qiye!

And since I know that tumblr tends to destroy the quality of my illustrations, here are some close-ups under the cut:

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[wardingshout]

Zelda goes mushroom girl

[daz4i]

mori bro now's your chance. his other ex-husband died man he has no one else to go to you should shoot your shot again come on bro

[retroautomaton]

🍳🐖🌱

[villain-enthusiast]

TOUCH-STARVED HERO RAHH.

.

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, actually,” the hero muttered from their sloppy position on the ground, though the oozing gash slicing across their torso and the fresh bruises circling their throat said otherwise.

The villain arched a brow, crouching down so they were eye level with the hero. “Do you think I’m dumb?”

The hero glowered at them. “Seems like you're deaf, actually. I said I’m fine,” they snapped, even as pain shuddered through their battered body. “Now if you could just get out of my way—,”

“Darling, please. You couldn’t stand up even if you tried, let alone walk yourself halfway across the city to your apartment.” The villain smirked at the hero’s deepening scowl, but the teasing flair didn't quite reach their eyes. “Let me do you a small favor while I’m here, at least.”

The hero bared their teeth. “Fuck off. I don’t need your stupid healing powers. You'll probably turn this into one of your idiotic bargains—," A harsh coughing fit cut them off, rattling their chest.

They tasted blood on their tongue. Fuck.

“Gosh, so prideful." The villain sighed, tilting their head. "Oh look at that, you're bleeding." They lifted a hand and ran a thumb over their hero's lips, wiping away a smattering of blood that had spilled from their mouth.

The hero's breath hitched at the villain's touch, the smallest, most delicate of noises escaping them before they could stop themselves.

The villain paused, their brow furrowing as their gaze took in every little movement and detail of the hero's involuntary response.

The hero's jaw tightened. Every muscle in their body screamed at them to get away, but they couldn't move. Or was it that they didn't want to move? "Villain, I swear—,"

Then the villain’s hand was cupping their cheek, and the hero melted.

A desperate whimper tore from their throat, their head lolling into the cool touch of the villain's palm as all the pain and exhaustion radiating through their body suddenly evaporated.

They closed their eyes, feeling their face begin to burn with shame.

"Oh, sweetheart," the villain murmured. Their other hand swept through the matted strands of the hero's hair, working through the tangles.

The hero had to bite down on their lip so that they didn't make another embarrassing noise. So gentle. The villain's touch was so, so gentle. So at odds to their earlier opponent's strangling grip and blinding punches, so contrasting to gaping loneliness and helplessness of coming home to no one, of having to painfully stitch themselves up day after day after day...

The villain brushed away a tear that the hero didn't realize had fallen.

"Hey, look at me," the villain said softly, nudging their chin up. The hero blinked at them, fighting back a sob. "You need to let me heal you, okay? You're losing a lot of blood."

The hero swallowed, barely processing the villain's words, their brain entirely occupied by the hand still on their face—or maybe it was just the blood loss. "Yeah," they managed, voice hoarse. It felt like their vocal chords were coated in tar.

"I'm going to do your stomach first," the villain noted. "I need both my hands for this, alright?"

The hero nodded, ignoring the inevitable panic that shot through them at the sudden absence of the villain's touch, which returned almost immediately on the deep laceration on their lower torso.

The hero cringed, bracing for some kind of torturous, painful mending, but the villain's powers were warm, soft, like honey in a cup of hot tea or a crackling fireplace during a winter storm. God, how many years had it been since they'd felt so comforted?

A whimper escaped the hero once more. They tensed. Jesus fucking christ.

The villain cracked a smile as they worked. "Don't worry, love. You're not the first person I've healed that enjoys the feeling." They brushed a palm over the wound, weaving the hero's flesh and skin back together. "This is gonna scar, but at least you'll live to see another day, hm?"

The hero scoffed weakly, still drunk on the villain's magic.

The villain swept their hands over the hero's body, feeling for more damage. "Gosh, Hero," they hummed, "you get yourself into so much trouble, do so much for this pitiful city, and for what?" They placed their hands on the hero's battered neck, soothing the inflammation. "When's the last time someone took care of you?" they asked quietly, but the question seemed more for themselves than for the hero.

Several heartbeats passed before the villain pulled away, finished with their work. The hero couldn't stop themselves from chasing their touch, nearly toppling over.

The villain caught them before they hit the ground, chuckling. "Oh, what am I gonna do with you?"

The hero felt a lump form in their throat at the thought of the villain leaving. I'm not gonna make it home. Not without Villain. They squeezed their eyes shut, swallowing their pride. "Please," they whispered. "Take me home. All I ask."

"Don't need to ask me twice." The villain swept the hero up into their arms, smirking at their indignant (and exhausted) glare. "You're not walking, sorry. You're getting all my love and special treatment today." They winked, as if they were joking.

But as the villain paced their way to the hero's apartment, and as the hero began to fall asleep in their arms, they both knew it wasn't a joke.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[thisdudedoesntexist]

Danny has a problem.

It's been around two weeks after fighting vlad and removing his powers, the tension has been building between them for a long time.

First it was the crown, Danny had earned it after fighting Pariah but Vlad thinks that Danny isn't ruthless enough to rule saying that he's "too soft" and "too indecisive" to wear the (for all the title of Ghost King is worth) glorified funny hat. Then after a long time of arguing between them Vlad came up with a scheme. If he couldn't become the king he would become the regent, he just needed to possess Jack Fenton, have him divorce Vlad's "beloved" Madeline and then possess her into marrying him.

As you can guess this didn't work, Danny found him about two seconds after he tried to divorce Maddy cause he wasn't even trying to act (like a human sized Golden retriever) his dad. So he and mom beat the creepy incel out of his dad, in the process Danny was forced to transform and his parents accepted him (YAY!), he also got hit in the side of his head by Vlad, damaging his Broca's area just enough so he can only speak in Ghostspeak, but he can still understand human words and letters. After that mess they moved to Gotham so he could recover in a place with high ectoplasm without Vlad harassing them. ( Lady Gotham hates Vlad.)

Now you're probably wondering, "What's the problem, Vlad is out of the picture and your parents accept your half dead-ness."

The problem is that some guy dressed as a scarecrow released some weird gas into his school. He didn't get a lot of people cause the "Bats?" Showed up but his friend Damien got sprayed and ran off saying he was gonna kill his brother tim. So in Danny's infinite genius he ran off after him to make sure he doesn't hurt someone.

He's not sure why Damien speaks Ghostspeak though.

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.