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2024 worst things my fast food customers have done tier list

• yelled at my coworker for charging them for adding cheese from a different type of salad onto theirs (which they had already asked to have literally nothing but the salad base AKA lettuce and Wrong Cheese)

• paid for $10 orders with hundred dollar bills (with five of this exact type of order in a row) so I ran out of change to give them. I ran through three cash drawers in 10 minutes.

• ordered 42 frosted lemonades 15 mins before close

• asked for chicken noodle soup “with no chicken and no noodles”

• told me that if our sandwich was cold again she’d tear it apart in front of me and feed it to her dogs

• asked me on a ‘camping trip’ alone as a date while I was taking his order

Stay tuned for next year’s 👍

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The same redraw I’ve done since middle school. Now I’m getting accepted to colleges🥹

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I still still work there. Now, I’m into Supernatural, which my manager, the most Christian man I know, introduced me to. Of all things. He’s in more cults than I thought, and he’s gotten me into all of them. This place is a freaking enigma, and so is my choice of consistently queer/queer-coded eldiritch media.

In the break room of my job at an *unnamed Christian fried chicken restaurant* to a podcast about a gay couple consisting of the Eyeball Antichrist and a lonely poet dude with mommy issues and a penchant for arson. Just like our founder intended.

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"we need more complex female characters"

yall couldnt even handle her

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oh my God i'm completely done for. I do NOT want to be a private investigator -slash- conduit for a Clthulu-like being that stole my eyes and also my hand that one time

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I still work there. Now I’m onto listening to Night Vale, and I think my manager caught a glimpse of my screen. Loud letters. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD. He didn’t mention it but I know he thinks I’ve joined a cult.

In the break room of my job at an *unnamed Christian fried chicken restaurant* to a podcast about a gay couple consisting of the Eyeball Antichrist and a lonely poet dude with mommy issues and a penchant for arson. Just like our founder intended.

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me when i put Frank's Red Hot on spaghetti when I had a cold and wanted to taste something (it worked but at the cost of AAH SPICY)

the mediterranean side of my family is probably quaking in their graves

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Ooh I have ideas!

I wake up walking further and further towards…something. I try to stay awake but it only gets worse. It’s pulling me in. One day I wake up halfway drowned in the sea. I live in the Midwest…

Eye. Not like the Eye eye, just…all the incorrect things someone can do to an eyeball. Go watch LASIK surgery infomercials if you want to know.

Fog. Aah.

The same salesman comes to my house every few days with more and more personal recommendations. One day he tries to sell me an old wooden box. Even he doesn’t know what’s in it but says it’s “the one they picked out just for you. We finally got your patterns down and this is the perfect gift for you, especially now…”

Guy comes back from a near death experience, may have made a deal with the Slaughter, slowly gets taken by it but his family refuses to admit there’s anything wrong. He eats the pet bird before they begin to genuinely worry. Even he’s surprised.

You start to see when people lie, little by little small fibs get exposed until you realize *everything* is a lie.

Computer Eats Me For A Change

I vandalize and subsequently fall asleep in a church, wake up with Something inside my stomach. A punishment. A gem-covered, cross-shaped punishment.

Statements I would absolutely love to see:

Person has grudge on inanimate object. This takes over their life.

Itching

My house hates me oh god oh god

My computer is fucking BLEEDING

I keep causing people's deaths and I don't know why I swear it's accidental

Trapeze artist dies falling from the trapeze over and over again

Teeth

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Hey he finally digitized the Archive���️ def not the way he intended to but hey at least he died (or didn’t who knows) complete in his mission

Tma episode 1

... Most of these appear to be handwritten or produced on a typewriter with no accompanying digital or audio versions of any sort. In fact, I believe the first computer to ever enter this room is the laptop that I brought in today. More importantly, it seems as though little of the actual investigations have been stored in the Archives, so the only thing in most of the files are the statements themselves.

It is going to take me a long, long time to organize this mess... I plan to digitize the files as much as possible and record audio versions, though some will have to be on tape recorder, as my attempts to get them on my laptop have met with… significant audio distortions.

Well I think Jon has managed to complete his goal in digitizing statements... Digitizing everything... Digitizing himse-

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Diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend, her real best friend is the podcast she’s obsessed over for years and has no way to stop because *the mysteries keep going deeper and it’s all an allegory and what if the theory—*

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Thinking about the difference between podcast main characters

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An early Sam design from listening to the TPAGP pilot!

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Given the entire plot of The Magnus Archives, *BAD.*

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

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I mean I do actively have a crush on this dork in my AP Chem class who’s the world’s biggest people pleaser and who couldn’t turn in a homework assignment to save his life…maybe I’m closer to Jon Sims than I’d thought.

Fuck being a teenage girl I just want to be a sad tired head of a research institute besieged by visceral horrors and to slowly fall in love with my complete idiot of a coworker is that too much to ask

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Fuck being a teenage girl I just want to be a sad tired head of a research institute besieged by visceral horrors and to slowly fall in love with my complete idiot of a coworker is that too much to ask

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podcast fans when [fabric rustling]

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i lied. i don't actually like sex. put your clothes back on. i'm going to explain the entire plot of the magnus archives.