#Time to tag literally everyone oh gosh

[ravers8fantasy]

Punch out characters on a road trip!!! 🚙💨

I got inspired after my parents took me on a random road trip across the Scottish boarder yesterday (to ENGLAND EWW/j)

Update: I FORGOT TO PUT THE SEATING ARANGEMENT HERE OMDS im gonna get my sick ass into bed I swear just let me do the punch out grind real quick-

Little mac:

had to beg his parents to let him go on a road trip with everyone (they made him keep them and doc on speed dial)

had a feeling something crazy was going to happen so he chose to sit next to kaiser in the front (and oh boy was he right)

him and disco hyped up tiger to start rapping when there was so radio signal, Mac ended up beatboxing (beatboxing champ of the bronx/j)

got into a disscusion about road laws with Joe and piston because he thought driving with sandals/flip flops was illegal

Glass Joe:

Got left at a service station somewhere so the group had to go back and find him, he was so mad

lore dropped that he got hit and run three times in a row by a car when he was a kid. No one spoke for a while after he shared that information

bear hugger's emotional support squirell jumped him because he wouldnt give it the nuts he brought and he was screaming like he was being murdered (well, it was a squirrel so)

everyone actually liked the music he played, it was the most relaxing

Von kaiser:

designated driver because he has the most experience doing long distant drives

shocked everyone, not because he managed to get to their destination without a GPS, but because he drove the whole way in busted af van

one of his sandals slipped off after psycho squirrel scared him, so he was basically driving with one shoe on (this is what promted the discussion about road laws)

his music kept switching between calm classical and german heavy metal (this made the whole squirrel attacking joe thing even funnier)

Disco kid:

designated DJ but let the others take over the aux

was literally just screaming whilst the squirrel was going crazy for Joe's nuts (haha- wait no be mature)

him, Mac, Aran, Tiger, kinda Don his voice cracked, super macho man, Joe, and Soda all had a little sing song together to the sound of Bear's guitar

was a back up dancer for Tiger's improv rap 'concert' but got sent flying to the back of the van because Kaiser accelerated suddenly

King hippo:

ate all his road snacks within the first hour and got sad about it, joe tried to give him some nuts but thats when the squirrel struck

played eye spy with Aran in the back seat and kept picking Don's toupee as his object since it was the only thing he could see infront of him

fell asleep for most of the drive ngl, apart from the squirrel and Aran almost pissing himself situation-

got his crown stolen whist he was sleeping by Aran who passed it to bald bull , to sandman who passed it to macho who passed it to- basically everyone tried it on

Piston hondo:

lore dropped that he knew how to drive an old fashioned motorcycle, him and kaiser ended up talking about bikes for ages

was eating seaweed sheets and offered to share with the others because they were curious

realised his music could be heard by everyone after the feral squirrel knocked his headphones off (bro was embarrased af)

he took a nap and woke up thinking he got a really good beauty rest, when really tiger had actually just threaded his eyebrows

Bear hugger:

fell asleep alot, only woke up when his flippin squirrel escaped the beanie and started attacking Joe over nuts

collective team effort to get that squirrel back inside of Bear's beanie, he sang a song as an apology bless

brought a guitar and at first sang by himself until he started strumming some club classics and eventually some of the other boxers joined in

tried alot of snacks, but his favourite snack was the seaweed sheets Hondo brought

Great tiger:

Whilst Hondo was asleep, Tiger threaded his eyebrows because why not

got his jewel stolen by bear's squirrel and started arguing with it like it actually understood him

kept teleporting out of the car when he needed stuff (like the toilet or more food) which stressed everyone tf out cus they would be mid convo and he would just disappear

did an improvised rap on the spot, no one realised but the rap was actually a very symbolic diss track about all of them (the boxers, even the ref got mentioned)

Don 'rosey posey' flamenco:

he said the van smelt so he sprayed soooo much rose scented perfume, everyone got a head ache

was afraid to take a nap because he was scared someone was going to sneak up and snatch his wig (Tiger and Aran im looking at you two)

was clinging onto his toupee for dear life when bear's squirrel went crazy, also got a full front seat view of joe getting jumped in HD 4K

was singing really well until his voice cracked and he got embarassed but everyone kept hyping him up awww(I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM)

"sing rosey posey, do a dance for us as well!"

"....I hate you guys why did I even come"

Aran Ryan:

the reason why they had an emergency service break, woke up from a nap and was literally about to piss himself bro was like on the edge

kept barking at people through Hippo's window when they were driving through towns

at one point he managed to grab bear's squirrel, but it ran down his top and he started shouting the most heinous string of swears ever

started calling Don 'Rosey posey' because of his perfume, eventually the other boxers started calling Don 'rosey posey' as well (Aran found it hilarious when everyone started calling him by that nickname)

Soda popinski:

had to sit weirdly at first because he was too tall for the busted van, his seat ended up breaking because of it

the squirrel also annoyed him, it was hanging off his mustache for like most of the ride

his music jumpscared everyone, he put on hardbass and rock but turned the volume up LOUD.

was singing along to Macho's music... well shouting. He searched the lyrics to Kim K's Jam 'turn it up' and him and macho sang it like 2 drunk himbos on a hen do

Bald bull:

bro was not here for the ride he just wanted to sleep and relax, he shouted everytime someone pulled out a camera

him and sandman had a bet on wether or not Kaiser was gonna crash, he won.

genuinely could not believe Bear's squirrel was jumping Joe he thought it was a fever dream

didnt put his music on because he was too busy telling Macho and Soda to put a better song on

Super macho man:

kept fucking singing, even when there was no music playing

thought his part in tiger's rap was a compliment when really Tiger was calling his muscles faker than his fans

someone called him and everyone laughed because he had a really stupid ring tone

recorded Joe getting attacked, also made Bear upset after saying that he was going to chuck the squirrel out the window what a douchebag

Sandman:

Absolutely terrified that Kaiser is driving, has one hand on the grab handles at all time

was laughing at Bear's squirrel harassing everyone in the van, but stopped to shout at Bear to get it under control when it started jumping Joe

fell asleep. Then woke up to tell Aran to fuck off then went back to sleep. Then woke up again to watch Tigers rap performance

(he was the only one who realised it was a hidden diss track)

told Aran to stop barking at people but ended up joining in because he got tired of listening to Macho sing and honestly he was bored

・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*:..o♬

Okay so I had to refine this sm because when I did it last night they were so jumbled, so mixed and lwk really unhinged so I had to reign it in a lil. If there are any spelling mistakes im just gonna leave them here im so ill and cant be bothered to fix it, anyway I hope you enjoyed!!

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 13 - I-T-G-I-R-L, You Know I am That Girl

So this chapter is a little different. As well all know, the reader is an ICON and no one is near her level and she will do some iconic things in 2024

Look out for the dates to see how the time line goes (its a bit all over the place so I apologize but this will end with the start of the F1 Season with her clip in the Formula One Intro for every race and some other little things.)

And I know most of the pictures I used were Max but we play pretend here :D

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN

February 20, 2024

acrosstheline.podcast we are so privileged to have sat down with y/n.89 for this all exclusive interview where we discussed her opening races, femininity in male-dominant sports, and what it takes to be a racer - read now in our special edition

liked by y/n.89, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 751,836 others

lilymhe is this what you've been working on! so so proud of you

y/n.89 hehe it is! and love you too - tell Alex that I'm taking you alex_albon I'm right here y/n.89 and? lilymhe gagged him

y/n_updates OH MY GOSH OUR GIRL'S FIRST MAGAZINE

y/n_lover and hopefully not the last! y/n.89 definitely not y/n_updates SHE RESPONDED?!

change_ur_f-car the questions were top notch! good to see interviewers who aren't looking to poke and prod for a reaction

y/n.nation favorite quote - "I never thought I'd podium on my first race - let alone finish it in the points. I hope that this means that this season will be good. I've always said that I was born to break records - and I'm glad to see that I wasn't lying."

formula1fanatic this was beautifully written, I was skeptical about her joining - but now I have no doubts. she truly belongs in the car to win

May 15, 2024

duke Y/n L/n has taken the Motor Sport World - and everyone else - by storm. we had the opportunity to sit down with the rookie and discuss the inside feelings that might take over during the pressures of her first year. these are the unfiltered thoughts of y/n l/n.

liked by charles_leclerc, formula1, and 284,937 others

y/n-lover MOMMY, sorry, MOTHER, sorry, MOMMY

maxiel_obsessed glad you put my thoughts into words

y/n'soneandonly can arthur_leclerc fight? post up frenchman

charles_leclerc he's MONEGASQUE

girls4girls this is the moment I became a fan

89_all-the_way "I looked around one time and really thought about how I was the only female racer. I was waiting for the doubts to creep in but instead pride found its way into my soul. I made it and no one can stop me" WHAT AN ICON

box-box literally one of my favorite moments number1y/n-fan I love her so much

maxverstappen1 where is your shirt young lady?

y/n.89 its called fashion - something you haven't heard of mr. I only wear RedBull merchant lewishamilton glad to see you went with my outfit suggestion georgerussell33 what was wrong with my suggestion!? y/n.89 I was not about to wear a Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit

francisca.gomez loml - so proud of you girly

y/n.89 thanks kika! tell pear I want you back

pitstopfailure BARK BARK BARK BARK

October 7, 2024

voguemagazine "I think that I was born for this. there's nothing else I'd rather be doing than getting in my car every weekend and putting my life on the line for the sport I love," says Y/n L/n. Her days are directed by high speeds, training, and breaking records.

liked by kellypiquet, lewishamilton, and 820, 184 others

redbullracing that's our rookie!!

emotionalsupport-rivals and everyone liked that bullsrunred they are everything to me your honor

verstappensfam first kelly, then y/n! now max just needs a vogue addition

y/n.89 oh I'm working on it!

y/n-on-top they hit us with that "no one is on her level. they may be close, but we haven't seen talent like this since Lewis Hamilton's rookie year. even then, it feels different - she's different."

iamred-iamyellow and then they follow up with "her poise and composure are unmatched. she wins and maturely celebrates, she doesn't too well in the race - she takes it to heart and fixes it. she is everything a formula 1 driver aspires to be."

y/n.89 BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!

oscarpias-tree the way her birthday is right in the middle of Max's and Arthur's birthdays y/nxarthur exactly 7 days after max's and 7 days before Arthur's

December 4, 2023

time Y/n L/n (y/n.89) is TIME's 2024 Woman of the Year.

In her freshman season of Formula 1, L/n talks about her phenomenal rookie year, carving her spot into the sport, and the up's and down's of the expectations that were on her shoulders.

liked by taylorswift, zendaya, and 926,824 others

y/n-lover LETS GO!!!!!!!

maxverstappen1 so so proud

taylorswift congratulations y/n.89! you deserve this and everything!

y/n.nation that's our girl right there - woman of the YEAR

y/n.89 why is everyone tagging me in this post??

landonorris uh, did you even look at it??? oscarpiastri you were announced woman of the year? y/n.89 oh. boxbox_nightmare where'd she go logansargeant oh she's screaming right now - I can hear her though the walls y/n.89 LOGAN

y/n_updates everything about this article changed the way I think about life

lestappenlove this is my Roman Empire

December 20, 2024

motorsportsproduction The "Minds of Champions" special issue is out now!

We thank sebastianvettel, maxverstappen1, and y/n.89 for sitting down with us for this exclusive. Inside you will find separate as well as joint interviews from the drivers.

liked by arthur_leclerc, danielricciardo, and 2,947,935 others

lastlaplando the way they had not only y/n and max but SEBASTIAN VETTLE TOO

vettelsvetos this is everything to me, I know y/n isn't a champion yet but the way she talks and acts - she's truly champion material

emotionalsupport-rivals max, y/n, and Sebastian are the perfect trio, I could see them win a Le Mans race one day

box_box oh my gosh yes - they'd be the perfect line-up

redbullracing our three generations: past, present, and future

sebastianvettel thank you for having me - it was a special time

y/n.89 it was so good to see you again seb! planning my Switzerland trip as we speak maxverstappen1 am I invited? charles_leclerc Sebastian's favorites ONLY maxverstappen1 then why are you still here? y/n.89 shots fired (you're all wrong - I'm the favorite) landonorris popcorn is out and the girls are fighting

landonorris sad I wasn't invited for this interview

motorsportsproductions next time mr. Norris, next time

y/n.nation half of these interviews made me cry

y/ndoesiconicshit so, y/n dyed her hair navy and red just for a RedBull commercial? she is COMMITTED - sad that she eventually got back to her blond hair

liked by lastlaplando, maxiel-lover, and 170 others

y/n.nation sorry to tell you but these were wigs, y/n mentioned it once in an interview :(

y/ndoesiconicshit NOOOOOOOOOOO y/n-on-top her hair would have been crispy af if she actually dyed it

formula1fan when I tell you I switched teams because of this commercial

y/ndoesiconicshit y/n put out bts pictures of her first photoshoot and lemme tell you - I am in LOVE

liked by y/n.nation, pitstopfailure, and 239 others

f1-today this photoshoot was everything to me

y/n-loves-me people better be glad that y/n chose to be a driver and not a model

formula_uno the way that half the drivers could be models if they quit their day jobs

y/n_updates those pictures are on my wall

y/ndoesiconicshit apparently y/n wasn't ready when Max came to pick her up before media day - so she got ready in the car (what a queen)

liked by y/n-lover, y/n_fan, and 361 others

piastri_81 the way she's so unbothered, in her vlog from that day she sounded so chill while max was freaking out about being late

icon-y/n I quote "max what would they do? fire us? yagirl89 the follow up "YES" and then the "oh" had me dying

lastlaplando her skin is flawless - she needs to drop that skincare routine asap

y/ndoesiconicshit y/n's birthday was wild - y/n hinted at what happened but nothing was confirmed. all we know is that the wags took her out to celebrate the night of and they all went radio-silent (max and Arthur were panicking)

liked by change_ur_f-car, formula1fanatic, and 613 others

f1_wags apparently they went to a club where phones weren't allowed for privacy reasons

y/ns_oneandonly the leaked videos tho were hilarious

y/n-and-wags but the outside videos of Arthur and Max coming to get her melted my heart

maxiel-lover i NEED the details like water - y/n better drop them

y/ndoesiconicshit y/n at the premier of the Formula 1 film "Can't Catch Me" starring Tom Holland - when she stepped out on the red carpet ALL cameras went to her, like no one else was photographed during this time

liked by y/n.89, arthurxy/n, and 729 others

tomholland-fan DID ANYONE NOTICE Y/NS CAMEO THO

y/n.nation I thought that woman looked familiar! y/n.89-love where was she! I'll go back and watch it just to find her tomholland-fan it was when Tom's character needed to go to the mechanics for his Honda - she was the one he talked to and she was also at the end race as a engineer as well!

RedBull.nation the way everyone held their breaths when she stepped out of the car, the only sound was the clicks of the cameras and then the crowd just erupted in a roar to get her attention

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Start of the actual chapter!

Your sunglasses sat perched on your nose as you sat in the back seat of whatever rental you were in for the day. Your fingers swiped the screen of your iPhone, constantly switching videos before they could even finish. Vito sat next to you, looking out the window as he talked to someone on the phone. Words about contracts, signings, photoshoots, and interviews rattled around in the car. The driver turned the wheel as he pulled up to the studio. The car lurched as it came to a stop. 

Vito quickly hung up on the phone with a short goodbye. You turned off your phone before you stepped out of the car. 

“What was that all about?” you asked as he guided you to the front of the building. 

You heard the click of his phone as he locked it and opened the door. You said a quick thank you as you were blasted with the air conditioning. 

“Just some calls I had to make. Lots of people are wanting to interview you kid. I have to make sure that they’re not just using you or plan to ask you stupid questions.” His fingers flew over the screen, probably typing yet another email. 

You just nodded. Vito had taken care of you for so long, he’d take care of you now. You knew how dangerous the media was, especially as a woman in your occupation. 

The two of you followed a long hallway down to a big room where cameras and other filming equipment were set up. Right now, Max was in the middle in his racing suit working on poses. Since he was the 2023 champion, you guessed he’d be doing what he did last year and the year before. But you’ll have people know you tried to convince him to do an actual pose, but he was resilient against your puppy eyes. 

You however had no clue what pose you were going to do. So, you were really hoping that someone would be able to assist you. 

Max quickly glanced at you and shot you a smile before being directed to pay attention. His smile melted and his stone-cold façade showed up. You wanted to shiver since you knew that Max was this big softy that had been broken down by the villainous persona that had been built by cut scenes and misplaced wording. You’d rather go back in time to tell little Max that he wasn’t the big monster everyone said he was than win a world championship. But because time travel hasn’t been confirmed – yet, you’d stick with helping present Max and work toward your own championship. 

You were ushered to a small changing room where your new race suit was hung up. Your fireproofs were neatly folded and were lying on the small bench. The shoes sat next to them. This year, the suits were a bit different. Max and you had voiced how much you liked the matte gold and navy look. Yes, the navy and red were the big staple colors of Red Bull, but you could do well with a little pizzaz. 

So the design team listened and made the red a sub color. The lettering and stripes down the sides were gold. The bulls on the main logos were gold as well. Red lined the seams as well as being the main color for all the sponsorship logos. 

The one thing that Max was happy about was that the hats stayed the same. He had too many from the year before to not be able to wear them. You didn’t see the appeal as you were more prone to hat hair than he was. 

You put on the all navy fire proofs before stepping into the thicker race suit. You kept the outer layer on your hips as you sat down on the bench to lace your shoes. Standing up, you noticed a mirror. You walked over and just took a moment to look at yourself. 

Possibly for once in your life, you liked the way you looked. The once dark circles under your eyes had finally gone away with some good sleep. Your hair looked more shiny and healthy and you had put on some good weight in the form of muscles that were needed to steer the car. Your trainer had put you through vigorous training, but it was all to help you prepare. 

A knock on the door let you know that they were ready for you. Vito stood to the side with your 2024 helmet. You were known for switching your helmet almost every other race in Formula 2. Your argument was that you just had too many good ideas not to use them. To keep it simple, you went with a full navy helmet with gold logos to match the suits. 

Some of the Red Bull team had mentioned that your helmet looked similar to Sebastian Vettel’s helmet. You only shot them a sly smile, basically telling them everything they needed to know. And it’s not like you didn’t know the German racer, quite the contrary. And did he give you his blessing to take inspiration from his glory days at Red Bull? The probability was huge. 

But again, people really didn’t need to know that either. 

All you knew was that the helmet matched to a tee, and it would be lucky to be used for more than 10 races. You had a list where you’d use special helmets. Vito was already on it with getting them ordered. You didn’t pay him to not order multiple custom helmets per year. He was already used to your antics. 

You shook hands with multiple people before walking over to Max. You took your place next to him. 

“So what’s the plan. I go left, you go right, and we leave with a giant explosion behind us? Taylor Swift Bad Blood style?” 

Max wheezed through his nose, not expecting your full-proof plan. 

From behind, Vito spoke up, “There will be no explosions. Here’s the plan. The producers talked to me and they actually want Y/n’s segment to go last as like a ‘surprise’.”

You interrupted him, “But people already know I’m driving.” 

Vito sighed before continuing. “I know. It doesn’t make sense but they’re the bosses for today. So they want Max to hold your helmet, turn to the left and hand it off screen. Then the camera would cut to you ‘taking it,’ you’d look down, and then put it on.” 

Your hands flew up. “So I don’t get to do the pose I rehearsed and Max doesn’t get to continue to look dead inside?” 

Max looked at you and squinted. “You didn’t have a pose ready. You were just texting me and panicking that you didn’t have one.” 

You only pouted after his confession. 

Max went ahead and redid his segment. This time, he did manage to do a little smile, just because you were the one taking the helmet and you made a weird face at him. 

The film techs said that the last take with the smile was the best one. And to Max’s chagrin, it would be the one to be used in the official video. 

You were told to stand on the massive X in the middle of the background. You were looking around at all the lights as someone helped you fix your hair. You hadn’t done anything pretty with it because it wasn’t realistic. You had never curled your hair and done anything special with it on race day. People would always find your hair in a braid, bun, or a Founding Father’s ponytail. And today was no different. 

You took a bit of time to actually make a nice braid that sat on your shoulder. Made you feel a bit like Katniss Everdeen. 

Speaking of, you wanted to have a little bit of fun. Your nickname wasn’t Kid for a reason.

“And action.” 

Your hand scrunched into three fingers that rose to your mouth for a kiss and then was lifted above your head. 

“I volunteer as tribute!” 

A couple of giggles filled the studio. Max and Vito were trying their best not to laugh out loud too much behind the camera. 

“Cut! Let’s try it again!” 

Your segment took about three more tries to get correctly. One of them, you accidentally dropped your helmet. Another, the helmet wouldn’t go on properly with your braid on your shoulder so you had to move it and undo it, so that you didn’t look like you didn’t have hair – the ponytail worked better. And then the third take was perfect. 

Max had been the one to hand you the helmet off screen and you did the opposite that he had done. You started off with a small smile, before going cold faced when you put the helmet on. You tried not to giggle once the thing was one since it felt weird without the balaclava. But you managed to keep your shoulders still until the man yelled Cut once more. 

You, thankfully, were allowed to now go change out of the hot suit. A Red Bull manager was the one to take the suit from you and hold on to it until preseason testing, which was going to be in a few weeks. You knew that when you said goodbye to Max as the place, it wouldn’t be too long until you would see him again. 

Wasn’t like you were ten minutes away, or that you didn’t work together, or that you somehow had the same simulator testing times just to catch up on what you missed during the week. But during the last few weeks, you spent more time with Arthur. 

He had called you in tears once he finally got confirmation that he was going to be out of Formula 2 and then cried once more when he had to leave the Ferrari Academy program. Your heart just ached and ached for him when you held him. 

You remember when he finally opened up a few nights after. 

You were bundled up in a giant blanket. He had come over to your apartment since Charles was staying with their mom for a few days while his apartment was being remodeled. Arthur’s head was tucked in your neck as a random movie played on the screen. 

He had finally spoken up. 

“You know. I really knew from the moment that I couldn’t continue karting all those years ago that racing just wasn’t for me. It never was.” 

You looked down at his face that was stained with tears. “Thur, don’t say that.” 

He only shrugged. “It’s true. If it wasn’t maybe Papa would have chosen for me to continue racing. And I know I begged Charles to be selfish, but maybe now I’m wishing I hadn’t.”

Your hands grabbed his face and made him look up at you. 

“Please don’t say that. Please.” 

By now, you had your own tears staining your face. 

“Because if you weren’t in Formula 2 this year, I would have never met you.” You took a breath. “My best friend wouldn’t be my best friend without it.” 

His eyes closed as he nodded little nods, almost as if he was having a hard time excepting what you called the truth. 

“I just feel like I don’t have a purpose anymore. You and Charles have racing, Maman has her store, and Lorenzo has the business. I have nothing.” 

Your arms wrapped around his figure. “We’ll find something and figure it out together. If anything, you can follow me to all my races.” You had a shit-eating grin on your face. A small laugh escaped his lips and you took that as a win. 

“What, and be your WAG?” 

You elbowed the Monegasque. “Sure. That’s exactly what I’m going for. I think I’ll have separation anxiety without you.” 

“Then that’s what I’ll do. Or unless I find something else.” 

“That’s all I ask. For you not to give up Thur. We’re in this new world together.” 

Arthur, feeling bold, laced his hands with yours. You were thankful for the dark room so he couldn’t see your red cheeks. 

“Together.”

And together is what you did for the remaining weeks. You and Arthur scoured every possibility he had to get back into racing. You reached out to many people – people who knew your godfather well and had helped you back with karting. You also reached out to many other people who normal fans didn’t know you knew. 

On this list, which Arthur had a hard time believing, were people like Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen, Jensen Button, and Nico Rosberg. 

Arthur had tried to persuade you to not go to all your famous connections, but you were on a mission. He even threatened you that he wouldn’t take any offer since he didn’t want you to feel like he was using you. You only threatened him back when you told him that you wanted to do this and didn’t mid at you. You believe that you scared him since he never questioned you again. 

It was the day before preseason testing in Bahrain before you got an offer, or actually two, back. Arthur, keeping his promise to follow you until he found something, came with you. He was under the guise of being with his brother for support, but most knew that he was actually there for you. 

The first one came from a face time call from four time champion Sebastian Vettel. 

“Kind, it’s good to see you!” Sebastian’s voice echoed in your hotel room. Your laptop was on the desk. You sat on the second bed while Arthur sat in the rollie chair. Before, the two of you had argued about who got what seat. You sadly lost the game of rock-paper-scissors and was banished to the bed. 

“It’s good to see you too Seb! How are your kids?” 

A squeal could be heard from behind his office door. Sebastian smiled at the sound of his children. 

“They’re doing just fine. How are you doing Arthur? I know that losing a seat is hard but I was delighted to hear from Y/n when she told me that you weren’t giving up racing entirely.” 

You shot Arthur a knowing grin as to say “see, you still have a spot in this world with me.” 

Arthur spoke up, “Ah, yes sir. I was a bit discouraged. But she somehow convinced me to not give up.” 

Sebastian clapped his hands. “Well I do have an offer for you. However, it wouldn’t be for this year and maybe not the next. There will be a lot of preparation but I know you could handle it.” 

Arthur shot him a shy smile. “I’m down for anything at this point.” 

“Well, I have been in the talks about endurance racing. And as you know, I am getting a bit older, but I still want to be involved. So I need to come up with a team. I would either be a driver or the team leader, I have yet to decide. But that means I need to start creating a team.” 

The young Monegasque took a moment to bring everything in. “So you’re asking me to be on your future team. Even after all the mistakes I made in Formula 2?” 

The German winced. “You are just like your brother. A bit too self-deprecating but we can work on that. Like I told Charles, don’t waste it. Don’t waste your talents away by not trying. We will have to do months and months of training as to get over making mistakes, but that’s also part of life. We just need to learn from them. So what do you say?” 

The rest of the facetime call was filled with tears, smiles, cheers, and talks of sending over contracts to go over. You and Arthur were over the moon. 

He might not be racing in 2024 or even 2025, but he’d be doing something. 

Now, the next two offers came during media day when you had testing. Nico Rosberg and Jensen Button had apparently been looking for the two of you the entire day. Thankfully, it was just media and Max was the one to drive the new livery around for everyone to see. You just got to sit back and relax, well, as much as you could when you weren’t discussing data. 

Nico and Jensen both cornered you when they had the chance. 

“Good to see you again Brittany.” You shot Nico a smirk when you exchanged greetings. Arthur, polite as ever, shook both men’s hands. 

You smiled at the two older men. “Now to what do we owe this pleasure of this fine Tuesday?”

The two former drivers looked at each other before they casted their gaze at Arthur. 

Jensen spoke first. “We just want to preface about how terrible we feel about you losing your Formula 2 seat. It was your rookie year and you had some pretty bad luck.” 

Your eyes rolled. “Way to rub salt in the wound Button.” 

He shot you a glare, but Nico spoke next. “However, we have a solution. Y/n here told us about your taken offer from Sebastian. And we know that there are going to be weekends that you won’t have anything to do. So to save you from quote on quote from Miss L/n here ‘separation anxiety from missing your best friend’ we are offering you a type of paid internship at Sky Sports.” 

Jensen cut in, “Obviously you would be helping either Nico or I depending on what weekend, but you’d be interviewing, commentating, or taking videos of drivers throughout the race time.” 

Arthur had sparkles in his eyes, but you knew they were probably tears. With this offer, he’d be closer to you and his brother. You knew he didn’t want to be alone somewhere while you two were living his old dream. Well, it could still be his dream, but he told you time and time again that it was easier to put the Formula 1 dream in the past so that he could move on. 

That day was also filled with smiles and contract talks. 

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were filled with you in the new RB20. If the fans thought last year was a rocket ship, this one had to be some type of vehicle from a Sci-Fi movie cause you think it was even faster. 

But, the Ferraris and McLarens were very close behind. The end of the weekend determined that Red Bull was still on top as you were able to take the fastest time out of the whole weekend, while you and Max did the most laps. 

You were practically vibrating in the debrief meeting from excitement. What this year would hold, you didn’t know. 

But you couldn’t wait to get started.   

y/n.89 has posted

y/n.89 it's go time

liked by arthur_leclerc, sebastialvettel, box_box_express, and 65,294 others

y/n.nation babygirl's new helmet - I'm in love!

sebastianvettel I see you're coming for my spot as Red Bull's golden child

maxverstappen1 sorry that was me, I have taken the seat y/n.89 sit down max, there's a new golden child

box_box_express middle picture is slaying

y/n-on-top I mean she did graduate from the university of servington with a degree in cuntology and slay sciences y/n.89 PERIOD

arthur_leclerc photo creds would be nice...

y/n.89 sorry ThurThur - EVERYONE ARTHUR TOOK THE MIDDLE PICTURE JUST LETTING YOU KNOW landonorris ok then.

redbullracing rookie of the year right there

y/n.89 I'm the only rookie? but thanks admin :D

iamred_iamyellow everyone was so close with only a few seconds separating the top three

ferrari'slastchamp this year is our year the-bulls sure - you all say that EVERY YEAR

f1 only six more days! see you drivers in the paddock

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @leptitlu @alessioayla @badassturtle13 @kaaale @wcnorris @cool-ultra-nerd @hockeyboysarehot @agent-curt-mega @myxticmoon @cmleitora @sam-is-lost @misartymis @boiohboii @alexander-hamilhoe @jayda12 @indesicivelyconfuzzled @fangirl125reader @itscrzy @xcharlottemikaelsonx @fionaschicken @torchbearerkyle @ineedafictionalman @loaksmuntxa @classiclitfreak @sarcasm-ismy-onlydefense @luisie @jayda12 @comfortzonequeen @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @inejghafawifesblog @treehouse-mouse

[tthesongofachilless]

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

♟️ — relationship: Max Verstappen x fem!teammate!reader

♟️ — face claim: Pinterest

♟️ — WARNING: This smau includes hate, death threats and sexism.

♟️ — a/n: thank you everyone for the support recently! Its been a wild ride making this, so I hope you enjoy it! For requests on my next smau, feel free to put in an ask! Enjoy

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 384,752 other liked..

f1: F1 BREAKING: Y/n Y/l/n signs with Redbull! ✏️

view comments:

user1: WHAT HUH WAIT WHAAA

user2: RUE... WHEN WAS THIS?

user3: IM SHAKING

redbullracing: welcome 🫶🏻

user4: OH HELL NO

user5: checo come back the kids miss you (im the kids)

maxverstappen1: 👋

user6: i thought we were getting a maxiel reunion..

user7: she's a fucking rookie what do redbull expect is gonna happen

user8: the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself 😔😔😔

yourusername: 🫶

user9: shut your goofy ass up go to Williams instead they will LOVE you there

yourbestfriend, landonorris and 23,038 others liked..

yourusername: trying to live my life till the fullest until my trainer forces me to stop 🙈

view comments:

user10: oh don't worry girlie you'll be back to living your life till the fullest in no time

user11: gosh lando in the likes she's already tryna bag every driver

user12: all i wanna know is how does y/n make that many cups of coffee and not finish any of them?

user13: cant wait to see her make a post talking about her leaving F1

user14: y/n is about to become the james charles of f1

yourbestfriend: miss you xxx

yourusername: miss you more!!!

—

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 197,296 others..

f1: 👋 Hello Max, Hello Y/n! Who's ready for our opening round of the season?

view comments

user20: gosh she won't even let the photographers get a good picture for the official f1 insta

user21: did they..... arrive together...?

user22: uhm!!! who is this girl!!!! where is checo!!!!???

user23: max run

redbullracing: Hello, f1!

yourusername: ME!!!🙈🙈🙈

user24: shut UP ALREADY

schecoperez and 482,074 liked..

f1: CONTACT! 💥 Max Verstappen is okay, safety car is deployed.

view comments:

user25: im going to murder y/n.

user26: turning the tv off it isn't worth watching anymore

user27: CHECO IN THE LIKES HAHAHA

user28: hey y/n do a mazespin

user29: redbull shaking in their boots

landonorris, redbullracing and 963,285 liked..

f1: Y/N Y/L/N, A FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIX WINNER!

view comments

yourbestfriend: THAT'S MY GIRL

redbullracing: 👊👊👊

user30: ugh

user31: can't wait for her to crash at every other race!

user32: wondering how the haters feel now...

yourusername: I FEEL AMAZING 🥁🥁

user33: kill yourself

yourusername posted a story!

caption: I'm winning

tagged: maxverstappen1

view comments

maxverstappen1: uhm you cheated

yourusername: you literally ate one of your cards

user34: leave that man alone

user35: jump out of the bus

maxverstappen1, taylorswift and 38,284 others liked..

yourusername: Taylor was right! Haters gonna hate hate hate while I'm just gonna shake shake shake!

view comments

user36: she's so annoying

user37: she's a swiftie? Gonna stop listening to Taylor now 🙉

taylornation: glad we could help 💕

user38: are we not going to talk about the second picture

user39: im scared for that mans wellbeing

maxverstappen1: 🏌��� Score!

user40: MAX RUN

—

— 7 Months later..

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 918,024 others liked..

yourusername: wanna die but at least I've got my boo 💐

view comments

yourusername: you deserve so much better baby 💕

maxverstappen1: 👫 twinssss

user44: I'm sorry YOU SAY TWINS IN THAT YOU WANNA DIE OR YOU GOT YOUR BOO

user45: girl has been through it all in the past few months

user46: show them that they're wrong!!

user47: who is the boo?

user48: ugh such a pinterest lifestyle

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 486,019 others

f1: Our final race of the season is upon us! Who will take the title? Verstappen or Y/l/n?

view comments

user50: if y/n manages to win the title in her rookie year despite all the hate she's getting I'm going to be so proud

user51: both deserve it so much 🧡

redbullracing: We are happy either way!

user52: DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

user53: y/n prove the haters wrong!

liked by 401,851 others.

F1: RED FLAG 🚩 Mick is okay.

view comments

user54: SHITTTT

user55: Mick baby you need a new seat

user56: doesn't this now make redbull 1-2?

user57: yeah! y/n is leading while Max is second

liked by 1,052,852 others

F1: We go racing again in Abu Dhabi! Y/n is leading with Max in second and Lewis in third.

view comments

user58: YOU GOT THIS Y/N!!!

user59: Lewis could do so something really funny now

user60: MAXIE 2024 CHAMP

user61: last race with Lewis at merc... im not sad... no...

user62: im shaking

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 4,952,012 others liked..

F1: OUR NEWEST WORLD CHAMPION, Y/N Y/L/N!

view comments

user64: fucking bitch

user65: YESSSSSS

user66: UGH

user67: the way max looked at her when he got out of the car 🥹

user68: can't tell if she used him to get the wdc or if they are actually in love

user69: MAX AND Y/N OH MY GODD

user70: 💕

yourbestfriend: AHDHDHHGDDHHD IM GONNA DIE

yourusername, redbullracing and 6,308,157 others liked

maxverstappen1: Y/n, I've loved you since I first met you in our junior years. Your personality matches mine, and I could've never asked for anyone more beautiful than you. Please let us grow old together and look back on these moments and laugh.

Love you, world champion. 💛

view comments

yourusername: 💛 Gosh I love you come back to our room let me kiss you

user71: "let us grow old together" max what if I just died now

redbullracing: So happy for you both 💛

user72: THE THIRD PICTURE?

user73: gonna cry myself to sleep

user74: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE

user75: UGHFHFHFHD

— fin 💐

— ♟️ a/n : thank you all so much for reading this! This took a while to make, as i was really stuck on how to progress the story further without making it too short. Again, if you have any smau requests, feel free to put them in my asks! Love you all 🦅🦅

[cursedcatvibes]

KILLSHOT!

re4r!fuckboy leon x fuckgirl reader

word count: 5.9k

summary: Leon is only really a fuckboy because of some sort of childhood trauma thing. He doesn’t want to be forgotten, growing up ugly isn’t something he wanted to be remembered by so when he got his glow up he obviously used his looks to his advantage. But what happens when he starts to hear another name other than his own making rounds, everyone is raving about this person and Leon doesn’t like this. Is he jealous of them? Or is he actually jealous he hadn’t gotten to experience it yet?

tags/warnings: Minors DNI! Smut, 18+. Complicated emotions, slight mask kink, using of drugs, drugs mentioned, alcohol slightly mentioned, college ditzy bimbo talking, fingering, cowgirl, praise, characters from other franchises mentioned, halloween party, stalking-ish.. not proof read

A/N: hello! i have not been active in a few months oh my gosh.. literally sickening but life is literally sickening in itself? so.. but anyways, i had this idea strike me and it’s taken so long for me to punch it out because i kept changing the plot and rewriting and deleting shit because i didn’t like it. sue me! but yeah i forced myself to sit and write all day, so if some of the plot is not consistent i apologize! i actually got slight inspiration from pawgleon.. like the way the characters speak. i think she portrays bimbo and ditzy talk very well! (this is me partaking in kinktober)

Songs! ^^

Killshot (Slowed + Reverb) - Magdalena Bay

Rehab - Brent Faiyaz

Yummy - Ayesha Erotica

Like a Dream - Thomas LaRosa

Poison- Brent Faiyaz

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Leon’s always made a name for himself ever since Junior year in highschool. He had been considered ugly up until that point, had a bunch of acne (just like a normal growing teenager would), wore glasses, and his voice was still a little high-pitched because his balls had yet to drop. So what? Most boys are late bloomers! Definitely nothing to be insecure about.

He got picked on a lot and all the girls he liked never liked him back, always made fun of him whenever they could and called him a weird freak. But that all changed one summer when he got back to school for the new year.

He had gained a skincare routine, traded his glasses for contact lenses, and even started working out. It made him feel good about himself and it gave him the confidence to say fuck you to everyone else.

When he strolled into school however, it proved to be different almost immediately.

Here he was thinking he would have to defend himself again this year but people actually seemed to like him, girls he had never spoken to in his life started coming up to him. All pretty and perky too.

Now all of the sudden everyone wanted to fuck him and he was overjoyed. He quickly lost his virginity not even a month into starting the new school year, it took him a long while to perfect his craft but soon he got pretty good at knowing a woman’s body, men too.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

A few years later and now he’s in college with a reputation of being a fuckboy. It wasn’t a bad thing for him, considering the fact that he was able to get out the pent up stress college applied onto him.

Leon always got to pick his fruit of the night daily, sometimes even more than once a day. He didn’t have to worry about girls trying to get into relationships with him because of his reputation, one, and two, he was always up front about how he didn’t want to date anyone.

He was 1000% sure that if someone could be labeled as best fuck/hookup he would qualify for first every single time.

Well that’s what he originally thought until he started hearing another name going around, almost as often as his own. He was curious about who this person was, he wondered if they were as good as him for this many people to be buzzing about them.

It only took him a couple of minutes asking around before he found out the full name of the person and what class they were in. Surprisingly they were in the morning class of the same lesson that Leon took except his was more in the afternoon.

No wonder they haven’t crossed paths. No worries, he’s sure that a person like him must be cool enough to become friends with.

Oh how wrong he was.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You had a decent up bringing growing up, didn’t struggle academically and you weren’t bad looking but you weren’t good looking either. Just plain. No one paid much mind to you in middle school.

It was completely fine with you, no drama, no names to remember, and no one to pick on you. You could honestly say you enjoyed it.

No one bothered you up until you hit puberty, you noticed almost immediately that people started treating you differently. It was strange at first, getting used to everyone trying to butter you up for one thing only.

You didn’t see much of an issue because you didn’t care, you didn’t see virginity as a big deal either. Now you weren’t a hoe or passed around, you just had sexual relations with whomever.

You were pretty ecstatic about going to college you had aspirations and dreams, that dream job wasn’t going to be easy. You needed to have a proper education and a little experience in that field before you even tried.

It was also well known in college that you get to sleep around with whoever you want and receive no consequences.

But never raw, you definitely weren’t trying to get pregnant before your life properly started. You applauded the women who did have babies this early in life and still make something of themselves but you could barely take care of yourself on a daily let alone a whole other little human.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You sat there in the middle row of the lecture, bored out of your mind. You stared at the chalkboard and occasionally glanced down at your notebook to doodle or something to make it appear you were paying attention. It was just an extra class you were forced to do for extra credits before the end of the semester.

Leon on the other hand was sat in the back row of that same class, he somehow managed to weasel his way into the same extracurricular as you so he could spy on you, a feeling of unease brewing in his belly as he watched you.

He didn’t trust you, he didn’t think you were a whore. That’s kinda hypocritical of him but he was put off by your presence. Maybe a little bit jealous of you and how you managed to make a name for yourself. It was almost like he was challenging you mentally. A challenge you yourself wasn’t even aware of.

He glanced up at the clock when he noticed people getting up, he collected his stuff immediately and quietly followed behind you. Leon felt like he was being a bit stalker ish but he wanted answers. Plus it’s not like he was doing it to be a pervert.

He watched as you met up with some friends to go study in the library, obviously he was still shadowing you from afar. His nose shoved inside a book in the far corner in the library but close enough to spy on you from a distance.

He didn’t gain much information, you were hard working with a flirtatious personality, it was kind of hard for him to gather anything from this. But he overheard you and your friends talking about going to a party, his head perked up a bit like a dog smelling a delicious treat.

He wasn’t sure why but he felt this strange feeling wash over him, could he confront you there? But why was he trying to confront you? In all honesty he wasn’t sure, he just knew that he was jealous and scared that he would become a nobody again.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You and your friends spoke happily about the most random stuff, like who got who pregnant, followed by did you see this new show? The topics never truly stayed on one solid one unless the whole group had a deep connection to it.

So it didn’t surprise you that a party happening later that night was mentioned. “It’s a costume party?” You asked curiously and your friend chuckled and nudged you with her elbow. “Oh my god, like yeah. Obviously. It’s halloween.” Ashley giggled and the rest of them did too.

“That’s so lame.” You murmured, twirling your pencil around in your hand. “Like.. this is the start of a bad hallmark movie or something.” You said as your lips pulled up into a thin line.

Your friends shrugged and they obviously knew you would go anyways, you glanced around the library per usual. Something you did just as a random habit and you spotted someone looking at you.

You frowned a bit as you watched the guy look away and bury his face back in his book. How strange? “What a weirdo.” Your friend, Jill, spoke up and it startled you a bit. “Huh?” You turned back to her and she stared at the guy before looking back at you.

“Do you know him?” She asked and you shook your head no. “Yeah.. I thought so. He kept glancing over here and I thought it was all in my head.” Jill mumbled softly as if to keep it between the both of you. With a nod of agreement from you Jill joined back into the conversation.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Leon on the other hand was burning red in embarrassment, you had looked right at him and made a face. Now he looked creepy. He should just leave the library now or something, anything! But he stayed glued to his seat, straining his ears to eavesdrop on your table.

After a while he watched you all get up and leave, he sighed softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Nice going, Kennedy. You’ve outdone yourself and now you look like a creep.” He muttered in annoyance.

He quickly packed his stuff up and exited the library, shooting his friends a quick text before heading towards his dorm. He needed a Halloween costume now.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Halloween shopping didn’t take long for your group of friends. All of you got ready in Claire’s dorm because it was spacious and she was the one who got the best one because rumor had it her brother fucked one of the deans for special privileges and Claire used it as blackmail for herself.

Everyone in that dorm knew it was far from the truth, she was just a good student and because of that she got special treatment alongside Chris.

Ashley was busy doing her makeup when she looked over at you who was staring at the costume you had got. “You okay?” She asked and you turned around to look at her. It was obvious to everyone she would go as Harley Quinn. It suited her. Is what you thought before responding.

“I’m questioning if this is too much.” You responded and Jill perked up. “Definitely not. It’s actually beneficial because it’ll probably be super hot at that party so the less clothes the better.” She murmured mindlessly as she put on her realistic wig..

Ashley and Claire glanced over at Jill before bursting out in a fit of giggles. “This is why we keep Jill on a high pedestal. She’s like super smart and pretty. It’s a two for one.” Ashley grinned and you chuckled softly.

Claire slung her arm over your shoulder and tugged you close. “Besides you’ll be matching with me, and y’know if someone bothers you and you don’t want them Chris will stand up for us.” She pinched your cheek gently and you swatted her hand away with a whine.

“Fine, you have a point.” You relented with raised hands as if you surrender. Claire smiled and grabbed her costume to change into.

Ashley put her hair up into two pigtails and grabbed the spray of temporary hair dye. “So.. Luis is going to be there.” She beamed, and everyone in the room rolled their eyes. “Ashley, you are such a simp for him.” Claire huffed and you and Jill nodded in agreement.

“Okay well it’s not my fault okay! It’s gotta be his stupid accent.” Ashley grumbled softly, pouting as she did so. When she turned around after staring at the vanity mirror for so long she smiled seeing everyone in their costumes.

Jill is Tiffany Valentine from the Chucky franchise, Ashley is Harley Quinn from the DC franchise, Claire is Starfire, and you are Raven.

You purse your lips as you hold the cape up between your fingertips. “You know for the longest time I had no idea what she was saying.” You admitted and everyone but Jill agreed. “You didn’t watch it with subtitles?” She laughed and you shook your head no with a grin.

“I thought she was just speaking gibberish.” You said and it just made everyone laugh harder as they gathered their things to get ready to leave. “Yeah because they would make one of their main characters speak gibberish everytime she used her powers.” Claire teased and you turned red with embarrassment but also laughter as you all walked out the door.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Leon on the other hand was pre gaming in his dorm room with his friends, Carlos, Chris, and Luis. “Dude you know how many hot chicks are going to be there?” Chris murmured as he slipped into a brown jacket, pulling gloves onto his hands while searching for his Jason Vorhees mask.

“I'm definitely scoring tonight.” Carlos said as he messed with his hair, a soft hum leaving his lips. Leon shrugged, not very interested in hooking up with anybody. He was more interested in trying to one up you.

Luis sat next to Leon on the couch and stared at him for a second. “¿Qué pasa, Sancho?” He asked, tilting his head at the blonde who seemed to be anxious. “Nothing. Just.. thinking. I guess.” He replied, rubbing his nape.

Luis cocked his eyebrow up and narrowed his eyes at Leon suspiciously. “Well, whatever it is. I’m here if you wanna talk.” He assured, placing his hand on Leon’s shoulder. Leon nodded and grabbed his Ghostface mask.

“Are we all ready?” Chris asked as Carlos was putting on his gloves with fake claws on them. He had the signature Freddy Krueger colors on while Luis had the iconic blue jumpsuit and Michael Myers mask. Once everyone was ready they set off to the party, Leon swallowed anxiously under his mask.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

The first thing you were met with when you entered the frat house was a mess, a mess of drunk and high people. You made a face at the smell of sweat and sex filling the air. Have some decorum people. You grimaced as you were dragged through the party.

Somehow ending up in the living room with everyone in your friend group. “They have coke! Oh my gosh, I’ve like totally wanted to try it.” Ashley beamed and grabbed you. “C’mon let’s all do a line, when’s the next time you’ll be offered coke or something. We’ll be all old with wrinkles.” Ashley whined, trying to convince Claire and Jill who sighed and reluctantly agreed.

“Okay but doesn’t this like burn?” You questioned.

“What? Like Molly?” Ashley raised her eyebrow.

“No—Like doesn’t it burn your nostrils?” You raised an eyebrow back at her.

Jill sighed and picked up a straw that was on the table along with random lines of coke on the glass surface while you and Ashley argued over something as tedious as whether it’ll go down smoothly.

Claire followed in pursuit of Jill and did a line too, squeezing her eyes shut as she sniffled. “Jeez, that shit is strong..” She muttered as she pinched her nostrils, Jill nodded heavily in agreement.

“I forgot you’re the fucking coke queen of America. That’s my bad.” You huffed softly.

Ashley rolled her eyes and went to reach for a straw for you only to see Claire and Jill holding them. “You guys did it without us!!” She complained and you just sighed.

“Ash, we can just do a line right now.” You murmured which seemed to calm her down enough to keep her tantrum at bay. She holds your hand and leans down in sync with you as you both snorted a line.

At the same time you both did, Leon and his goon squad arrived at the party and everyone started cheering. Garnering the attention of all of you kneeled at the table.

You wiped away the residue on your nose and sniffled, narrowing your eyes at Leon for a second as he put on his Ghostface mask and his face was hidden again. He looked.. familiar.

You tried to ponder where you saw him at, but you just shrugged it off. Whatever. Probably nowhere.

Jill glanced over at Chris a few times while Claire was eyeing Carlos. Ashley immediately bounced up and was about to scurry over to Luis. You grabbed onto her wrist before she could run off.

“Ashley! Are you seriously ditching us for Luis?” You stared at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

“What? Noo—I would definitely not. ‘M just being friendly. I’ll totally come back.” She replied in her usual manner, which gave away that she was lying. You reluctantly let her go and she scurried off.

You sighed heavily as you watched Claire and Jill give each other a knowing look. “You guys too?!” You groaned out and they gave you a sheepish smile. “We’ll come back, we have our phones on sound and we’ll all go home together.” Jill assured, placing her hand on your thigh.

“You guys hate me.” You frowned with a slight pout and Claire pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Pinky promise we’ll come back.” She whispered and you took her pinky in your own. “Okay. Promise.” You sighed out.

Then you watched Claire and Jill disappear, probably to go curl up with Chris and Carlos. You weren’t very amused, the only reason you came was to hang out with them but Leon and his stupid friends came and ruined it.

Whatever. Least you had some entertainment, the coke on the table and the promise of alcohol.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

Leon smirked as he entered the party, he knew he was hot shit. But that lingering fear that he would be some name in the past still brewed within him. Which is why he agreed to tag along. The only question was where were you?

He sauntered deeper into the party with his friends until one by one they were plucked away by girls he recognized from your friend group. He pursed his lips beneath his mask, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he glanced around.

It’s as if fate itself had its way of showing itself as you stumbled into the kitchen, not dressed in much. His eyes widened in surprise as you walked to the punch bowl that was probably spiked by now and got yourself a cup of juice.

He watched from the corner of his eye in awe as you licked the rim of the cup to clean the few drops of juice you got on the side of the cup. He gulped and chastised himself, no he wasn’t supposed to be staring at you like some lovesick maniac. He was trying to prove himself tonight.

He would plow through so much pussy tonight it would leave you behind in the dust. Or at least that’s what he hoped.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

As the night lingered on you got more wasted to forget about the fact you got ditched for some dick. You couldn’t say you were surprised and honestly you were contemplating getting laid. But there was something uneasy about tonight.

Every room you slowly made your way into you saw some guy in the Ghostface costume making out with some girl, borderline groping each other over their clothes. At first you thought it was different guys until you got a good look at the face of the man behind the mask twice to realize it was the same guy with different girls each time. Weirdo. Is all you thought but you were smart enough to remember some guys have a game to see who can get the most kisses, hook ups, blowjobs in one night.

Leon on one hand was shocked each time you walked past him like it was nothing, like you just didn’t care. He was sure he could fuck some girl in front of everyone and you wouldn’t pay them any mind. What the hell?

With a growl he was determined to get your attention somehow, it didn’t even register that he was doing all this for your attention. His body reacting on pure instinct as he broke away from the kiss with the girl. A brief apology as he excused himself. Chasing after you as you drunkenly stumbled back to the kitchen.

He stood at a distance watching you rummage through the fridge. “All my friends hate me, oh my god.” You mumbled under your breath as you found nothing to satisfy your hungry belly. A soft pout on your expression until some guy pressed up against you from behind.

You paused for a second before you stood up straight and turned around to see some random guy in a batman costume staring down at you. “Uhm, hello.” You say as he leans down to inspect your costume. “Oh okay. Just go on ahead—“

“Raven? From Teen Titans?” He asked as his eyes met your own again.

“Oh yeah, my friend and I dressed as Raven and Starfire.” You slurred a bit as he rubbed his thumb over your chin. “Oh—Hellooo.” You giggled as the guy placed his other hand on your hip.

“We’re from the same franchise. I think your costume looks really cool.. I’m Brandon” He uttered softly, leaning down to brush his lips against yours and you eagerly reciprocated, whispering your own name into the kiss. You had plans starting to form in your head to go back with this guy to his dorm and hook up with him.

Well, you did at least plan to leave with him. But no way in hell was Leon going to let that happen. He stormed over, his angry expression hidden behind the Ghostface mask, he cleared his throat and tugged you away from the guy.

He glanced between you and the guy in his stupid batman costume. When he realized what he had done he immediately lied on the spot, blurting the first name of your friend that came to mind. “Ashley! Erm—Ashley asked if you could come help her with something.”

You blinked a few times as you processed what was said, realizing that the guy behind the Ghostface costume must know Ashley, which didn’t surprise you. “Oh.”

You bit on your bottom lip and glanced at Brandon. “Sorry. My friend needs me.” You replied and latched onto Leon’s arm. “Lead the way.” You hiccuped.

Leon immediately walked off with you, feeling a sense of pride at the knowledge he ruined that moment for you. Yet when he looked down at your face you didn’t seem to mind, in fact you seemed more worried about your friend.

Leon guided you out the party, letting the fresh air overcome him and you. He didn’t realize how hot it was inside until he stepped outside with you.

“Wait. She left the party?” You stopped in your tracks and gently tugged on Leon’s arm.

“What?” He said, confusion laced in his tone before he remembered the lie he uttered. “Oh yeah—yeah. She uhm, left to go with him but she told him to tell me you needed her.”

You didn’t seem to question him any further, which was a relief for him because he wasn’t sure how much more he could lie as he guided you back to the dorms. More specifically his.

What the fuck am I doing?

Why did I care so much that she was going to kiss some random dude?

Why am I taking her back to my dorm?

I should’ve been on my fourth hook up tonight and yet I haven’t touched any naked body yet.

Leon’s mind raced as he unlocked the door and guided you inside, closing the door behind him and locking it as you called out for Ashley.

“Ashley! Ugh I swear if it’s not something important and you made me miss out on the opportunity to get laid I’m gonna murder you!” You groaned out as you stumbled in your platformed boots; which in theory are horrible to wear while being wasted.

Leon pulled his mask off and tossed it onto his couch, wiping the sweat from his brow before he followed after you, grabbing hold of your wrist to turn you around towards him gently.

“Ew your hands are like.. gross and sweaty.” You made a face of disgust and his nose scrunched up in annoyance.

“Okay that’s a bit rude.” He huffed and looked at you, he would finally be able to see you for you at this moment. It suddenly hit him.

You’re not competition, obviously not if you’re not bragging about your hook up to him, rather your friend who definitely isn’t here.

Hell, you’re just a girl. A girl who he’s jealous of for no reason.

A girl who’s.. really fucking pretty?

His eyes widened as he came to the realization that it wasn’t anger at being replaced, it wasn’t jealousy of hearing your name being uttered time and time again instead of his.

No, that's stupid. I’ll see if she’s really as good as everyone says she is. He was determined to see what was so special about you.

Your nose scrunched up as if mimicking his own expression as you could see different emotions ran across his face. “Uhm hello?—“ You went to wave your hand in front of his eyes when he tightened his grip on you and pulled you in for a kiss with force. Such force that you stumbled.

A quick lie running out of his mouth smoothly as he cupped your face in his hands. “I lied, Ashley didn’t call you here.. I just have such a big crush on you and didn’t know how to express it.” He breathed out as your tongue ran over his bottom lip.

You, to his surprise, didn’t fight back or protest the kiss. You seemed to encourage it more than anything.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s kinda sly of you..” You remarked as you pulled back from the kiss, your lipstick smeared on his soft plump ones. You brought your thumb up to his bottom lip and wiped away as much as you could.

“So what’s your name you big stud.” You teased in a drunken tone, Leon bit his bottom lip and ducked down to capture your lips again. “Leon.” He muttered into the kiss, slowly guiding you to his room with careful steps.

He could tell you were getting tired of how slow he was moving so he patted your thigh to encourage you to hop up. Once you did he grabbed the back of your legs and held you firmly against him, your lips not parting from his own as he stumbled into his bedroom.

He dropped you down onto the bed and finally pulled away. “I have to turn on the lamp..” He mumbled quietly as he reached off to the side to flick the light on. The moonlight helped to illuminate the parts of the room the light didn’t reach fully.

When he looked down at you he felt his heart rate increase. “Fuck.” He cursed and you just smiled at the sight above you.

You reached your hand up to move his hair out of his face. “What? Think I’m pretty or something?” You asked and he nodded, a soft giggle leaving your precious lips.

So precious. He thought as he pressed his left palm above your head against the bed while his other hand came up to cup and fondle your breast above your costume.

You managed to kick your boots off somehow, leaning back against the bed comfortably. “Well that’s sweet of you. I think you’re quite handsome.” You replied as your hair laid spread out behind you.

Leon hesitated for a second, what does he do now? He’s been hooking up with people for awhile now and for once in his life he’s stunned on what to do next. He opens his mouth to speak but all that comes out is a soft moan as you drag his hand up to your mouth to suck on his thumb.

“Hah.. you’re good at that hm?” He cooed, pressing his thumb down against your tongue. With a soft hum from you he adjusted the way he was hovering above you so he could use both hands instead of one.

He dragged his left hand down your torso right down to your pussy, he could feel the heat radiating off of such an intimate part of you. This made his cock throb with want as he pushed the crotch of your costume to the side.

“I guess this costume is pretty much easy access..” He spoke his inner thoughts aloud, watching you blush beneath his watchful gaze before his fingertip brushed against your clit.

You mewled softly and brought your hands up to paw at his chest, wanting his costume off but he clicked his tongue. “Patience. Good things come to those who wait.” He scolded you lightly and gave you a shit eating grin as you frowned.

“You’re like a delicacy.” He explained, rubbing his middle and ring finger through your folds before prodding them against your hole. “You must be handled with care.” He punctuated his words by shoving his fingers inside of you.

You gasped and your back arched off the bed a little. “O-Oh fuck. That feels good.. your fingers are so thick.” You whimpered around his thumb, he snickered softly and pulled his thumb away from your mouth, pressing the wet digit against your clit to rub hard and fast circles against the sensitive little bud while his other hand moved in tandem by fucking his fingers in and out of you.

A slick squelching sound resounding through the room followed by lewd moans coming from you. Who would’ve thought having sex while being high on coke made everything feel ten times better?

“Leon.” You whined softly as your walls clenched down tightly around his fingers. “You’re g’nna make me cum..”

Leon just shrugged and leaned down to nip at your neck. “And? That’s what you want, right baby?” He whispered directly in your ear, sucking on your earlobe. He let out a low chuckle as you cried out a soft yes.

He doubled down on his efforts and you swore you saw stars, definitely. You squealed softly as your orgasm crashed down onto your body like a truck, your cheeks and the tips of your ears turning red and hot with arousal.

“There’s we go. That’s my girl.” He lapped at the pulse point on your neck as you settled down from your high, he took the opportunity to strip himself of his clothes but not before getting a taste of what he was going to be indulging in.

He brought his fingers up to his mouth and swirled his tongue around his own digits, sighing softly as he tasted the sweet essence that he had coaxed out of you.

“God. That shits perfect.” Leon bit his bottom lip as he began to remove his clothes, eyeing you hungrily as his cock sprung up into view.

You mumbled something before sitting up on your elbows, your mouth almost instantly watering at the sight of his dick. “Woah.” You blinked a few times before reaching out to touch.

Accidentally grabbing it too hard made Leon hiss in pleasure. “God damn. Easy baby.” He groaned out, and you winced out a soft apology, letting him guide your hand to be the perfect pressure and pace for him to get off on.

“Wait..” You said suddenly which made Leon pause, staring down at you questioningly. “Can you get your uh.. the mask.” You asked coyly, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger slyly as it registered what you wanted in his head.

“Sure thing.” He chuckled and patted your cheek, disappearing for a second before returning with the mask on his head. You grinned wickedly as he stood near the edge of his bed.

“How do I look—“ He was cut off by you yanking him down onto the bed, straddling him as you smirked. “I’m gonna absolutely ravish you.” You sighed out softly, having already removed your clothes when he stepped out the room.

Leon was quite stunned at the 360 shift in attitude. You were just crying on his fingers a few seconds ago and now you’re practically pinning him down. He placed his hands on your thighs, gently rubbing his thumbs against your soft skin.

“Yeah? What if I want to ravish you?” He retorted and you leaned down to press your bare chest against his own, “You could try.” You slurred quietly, but as the hours went on the more you slightly sobered up.

“Guess I’ll have to try super hard then.” He whispered softly as he grabbed his cock, rubbing the tip of it through your folds with a soft hum. You bit your bottom lip as you eventually sank down on him, the two releasing a soft moan in sync with each other.

It didn’t take long for Leon to start bouncing you on his cock as you rode him with an eager pace, it seems the mask was doing things for you that you yourself weren’t even aware would do.

The wet sounds between the two resounding through the room as skin on skin slapping against each other blended into the mix. “Fuck, you’re so tight.. ‘n wet.. ‘n warm.” He whined, fingers digging into your plush thighs as he bucked his hips up into you.

You nodded in acknowledgment. Your eyes fluttered shut as you could feel that coil in your gut tightening with each thrust and bounce. You knew you were close and so did Leon. “I’m almost there.” He panted out, gulping beneath the mask which was starting to prove to be extremely hot. He was sure he had sweat all over his face and head, if he was to remove the mask he was 99% sure that his hair would be thoroughly damp.

Yet if he could get girls to ride him as crazy and as good as you do he would wear it for every hookup encounter he ever had.

You reached your hands up to start punching and twisting your nipples, fondling your tits to tease him. He grunted loudly as he watched you with bated breath. “Fuck, keep playing with yourself like that. Touch that pretty little clit of yours too.” He gritted out as you did so, causing your walls to clamp down tightly around his cock.

Your jaw dropped as his cock brushed against that spongy spot inside of you that never failed to give you chills. “I-I can’t hold it..” You cried out, hand still moving quickly against your clit. Leon could see your chest rising and falling quickly and he was just a few seconds away from spilling his own seed.

“I know. W-Where do you want it?” He uttered aloud, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against his bed. “Mm. Inside, please.” You whined, bucking your hips eagerly.

Leon's eyes shot open and his head shot up to stare at you. “Fuck.. that’s so hot. Are you sure?” He was a bit nervous and didn’t want to cum inside of you if you weren’t 100% sure.

With an eager nod you spoke once more. “Yes! God, please! Inside of me, Leon.” You insisted, throwing your head back in pleasure as he thrusted a couple more times before pulling your hips flush against his own, he came before you did and it only took a few quick rubs from you before your orgasm hit you once more.

You practically collapsed on top of him with a heavy breath, resting your head on his chest as he moved his hands up to pull the mask off, finally being free of the sweaty contraption. He wrapped both his arms around you as his cock started to soften within your warm wet walls.

Fuck. He had to admit that the people were right about you being a good fuck.

Especially when you looked up at him with that soft smile but your eyes told a different story as you wiggled your hips a bit, it’s as if he didn’t even start to soften to begin with as he was fully hard within seconds.

Guess he was in for a long night, just as long as you don’t hear the incessant buzzing coming from your phone that was discarded on his nightstand haphazardly from your friends.

[astonmartinii]

a wonderful thing [mamma mia part five] | formula one social media au

drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & jenson button

in this house babies are delivered in the rb8 not by a stork

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,203,551

tagged: sebastianvettel, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial

yourusername: welcome to the world florence mia alonso vettel button y/ln ✨ your name may be a mouthful but you’re our beautiful girl, i can’t wait to give you the world x

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user1: OH MY GOSH - wait so does she have all of their surnames as her last name?

mickschumacher: i’ve banned them from answering random questions so i will - the official last name is y/ln, with all the guys names as middle names! all three of them wanted flo to have y/n’s last name but a piece of them as well

user2: awww that’s so cute

user3: not her having a nickname already

kimiraikkonen: congratulations guys. i’m so happy for all of you, flo has the best parents she could ask for

yourusername: thank you kimi ☺️ xx

jensonbutton: thank you for everything kimi, mostly for being there to catch seb when he passed out 👍🏻

sebastianvettel: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE YES I DID PASS OUT BUT IT MADE ME RESPECT WOMEN EVEN MORE I WAS NOT ASKING FOR MORE ATTENTION THAN Y/N WHO WAS LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH

jensonbutton: yeah i’m not reading all of that

yourusername: don’t worry seb i know you were just overwhelmed

sebastianvettel: NOT MORE THAN YOU I AM PROUD OF YOU

fernandoalo_oficial: when will you let this go… you’re just squeamish, it’s cute

user4: wait is she called mia after the mamma mia summer?

user5: that’s kind of hilarious

danielricciardo: ahhhhhhh she’s here !!!!! i can’t wait to meet flo and i hope everyone is recovering well xx p.s. max i shall swing round to your garage to pick up my £50 next race xoxo

yourusername: thank you danny x p.s. what did you bet on?

danielricciardo: NOTHING

maxverstappen1: he bet that seb would pass out during the birth 👍🏻

sebastianvettel: DANIEL?

yourusername: max?

maxverstappen1: i had faith seb

sebastianvettel: at least someone did

fernandoalo_oficial: she’s so beautiful she takes after her mama

yourusername: thank you nando ☺️ (it’s a good thing we did not do a paternity test, cause lord knows you’d all argue who gave what to flo)

sebastianvettel: well we ALL know she’ll have my impeccable manners

jensonbutton: and my unbelievable charm

fernandoalo_oficial: and lord knows she’ll never lose an argument on the playground, flo will have the alonso sass

yourusername: sounds like a winning combination if you throw in the patience of dealing with all three of you

sebastianvettel

liked by jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,348,445 others

sebastianvettel: beyond proud to be flo's dad and beyond grateful to y/n for letting me be a part of flo's and her life x

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user6: I AM SO SOFT

user7: holy moly look how small her hands are crying 😭 🥹

yourusername: i have no doubt you'll be just the dad flo needs

sebastianvettel: i'll try my best

yourusername: don't stress yourself out you're a natural so far

jensonbutton: he didn't even bat an eyelid when flo threw up all over him

fernandoalo_oficial: he only cried for about five minutes when flo first held his hand

user8: okay they're ganging up on seb @yourusername @mickschumacher @kimirakkonen spill the beans on the others please

yourusername: jenson was shaking so much that flo's name is barely legible on her birth certificate

yourusername: fernando was so excited about feeding flo for the first time on his own that he spilt half of the milk and then slipped in it (thankfully he'd already put flo down)

mickschumacher: fernando watched her sleep for so long that he physically got cramp and had to be carried to bed

kimiraikkonen: jenson had a 27 step plan to introduce flo and beckett and he was so nervous waiting for labour to start that he walked me through it THREE times

sebastianvettel: okay now i feel better

charles_leclerc: i am so so happy for you guys, i can't wait to meet her !!

yourusername: thank you charlie, turns out AUS23 is the perfect lullaby for flo, she falls asleep as soon as we turn it on

charles_leclerc: hopefully i can play the one i've written for her as soon as possible

sebastianvettel: charlie, i am so touched. i am glad to be called your grid dad

charles_leclerc: and now we're all crying

jensonbutton: i didn't know you could get any cuter, but you reading flo a book about flower classification melted my old man heart

fernandoalo_oficial: i caught him reading her your book and i won't lie i did cry a bit

yourusername: don't forget when he crawled around bumping into everything possible to check if it was "properly babyproofed"

sebastianvettel: when did we all become such saps?

jensonbutton

liked by sebastianvettel, estebanocon and 703,445 others

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc & maxverstappen1

jensonbutton: i didn't know that dad duties included comforting our crying 26 year olds as well as flo

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user11: someone sedate me i am so not normal about this

yourusername: i'd actually say that flo is better behaved than them

sebastianvettel: i agree

fernandoalo_oficial: i must say watching mad max cry his eyes out holding flo is one of my favourite things ever

jensonbutton: it pains me to say but they're so sweet

yourusername: fatherhood has softened you all

user12: they are never defeating the grid kid allegations i fear

user13: applying to be godfather when they're just the overgrown kids LMAO

charles_leclerc: acting like you guys didn't all bawl your eyes out when i played flo's lullaby :(

yourusername: you're right i did cry it was very beautiful charles, thank you

jensonbutton: it was very touching, you're a menace but a thoughtful menace

sebastianvettel: you make me proud to be called your grid dad :)

fernandoalo_oficial: it was a very kind gesture (you will need to pay me back somehow for now having to get a piano delivered? how does one get a piano through the door?)

charles_leclerc: NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS

maxverstappen1: kids are my weakness !!! and mia is so so cute, thank you for having me :(

yourusername: you were great with her maxy, i know you doubted yourself but you're a natural !!

jensonbutton: you're always welcome at ours (though we don't have any more room for trophies, so take them home first)

fernandoalo_oficial: oh maxy, you're a big softy really. it's okay we can all cry on the flight to the next race

sebastianvettel: you're free to be as present as you wish with flo, and free to let us help heal your inner child :)

maxverstappen1: how are you guys all so good at being parents already?

user13: obsessed with max calling her mia when everyone else calls her flo

maxverstappen1: i love mia so much but i also love to remind her parents how they got into this situation

charles_leclerc: this is such a good point

jensonbutton: really? on a post about how much we love all three of you

user14: i'm crying over max being super nervous to hold flo and being assured by all of them (and maybe charles)

yourusername: oh they looked like an old married couple it was very cute

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by yourusername, lancestroll and 1,094,334 others

tagged: valterribottas, astonmartinf1

fernandoalo_oficial: my paternity leave came to an end wayyyy too fast, but thank you to y/n and seb and jenson for giving me the best present in the world. florence is the most precious girl in the world and there's nothing i won't do for her. for a long time i never thought i'd be a father or that i'd even find love, thank you for showing me that i can <3

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user15: user15 found dead, cause: fernando alonso being TOO FUCKING CUTE

valterribottas: fatherhood suits you

yourusername: did he show you all 200+ pics of flo

valterribottas: yes. multiple times

fernandoalo_oficial: I LOVE MY BABY OKAY

yourusername: we miss you already :( and we love you so much, you deserve this and more

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm so glad i went to greece this summer, i can't believe i nearly went to australia

aussiegrit: i'm so happy for you nando but you're literally bragging about ditching me :(

fernandoalo_oficial: sorry not sorry it was worth it

markwebber: you're such a mean girl . DON'T FORGET we ALL know i was your first love in f1

jensonbutton: you snooze you lose mark hold this L

aussiegrit: i'm literally married

sebastianvettel: tell that to all of your homoerotic tension with half of the grid

aussiegrit: the only thing i wanted to put near your ass is my FOOT

yourusername: okay clearly fatherhood has not completely softened all of you

user16: i see we took like a month to be responsible adults and now normal service is resumed

maxverstappen1: lestappen erasure once again and after you guys just proclaimed us as your children .... i see

charles_leclerc: youngest child being the favourite, some things never change

yourusername: yall finished projecting?

fernandoalo_oficial: you guys literally slept the entire flight? you would've bitten my head off if i had woken you up for anything other than getting off

charles_leclerc: nuh uh my instagram grind never stops

maxverstappen1: we want a feature on our only active grid dad's instagram SUE US

user17: fernando may be away from flo but he's never not on dad watch

sebastianvettel: don't miss us too much and bring home number 33

jensonbutton: i support you whole heartedly but we don't have the wall space for another trophy right now

fernandoalo_oficial: well get to chopping

yourusername: i have faith in you hence why i already got flo's baby hard hat out

user18: BABY HARD HAT???

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 1,415,099 others

tagged: sebastianvettel, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial

yourusername: i felt really lost in my life this summer and decided to take a little trip to a greek island. there i met three great men, but knew it was likely that i'd never see them again. yet here we are, in love and with the biggest bundle of joy i could ever ask for. i love you all and can't wait for the rest of our lives.

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user23: bro why is MY ass crying i don't know these people but this is adorable and i'm so happy for you

alexalbon: this has been my favourite thing this year and i couldn't think of four better people to have this happiness

yourusername: thank you albono, we'll be visiting the zoo soon, flo is super attached to her horsey plush

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm so glad i met you and i'm so glad you let us in on this insane journey

yourusername: there's no one else i'd rather live through this chaos with

user24: i don't think there's anything like the mamma mia summer to bring the entire grid together

jensonbutton: being with you guys makes retirement the sweet life, i couldn't have asked for a better hand in life

yourusername: there's no other way i'd like to start my day than bagel runs with you

sebastianvettel: after i announced my retirement i thought i'd float around aimlessly trying to find another purpose in life. i don't know how we got to this but i wouldn't change it for the world, i love all three of you and florence so so so much

yourusername: i'm sure we can balance beekeeping with being a full-time dad

user25: flo having four parents who would do anything for her i'm so jealous

maxverstappen1: you guys are so precious, counting down the days until i see mia again

yourusername: respecting the commitment to using mia

maxverstappen1: you chose mia, right? you knew what you were doing

yourusername: sue me.

sebastianvettel: you knowingly named our daughter after mamma mia?

yourusername: how is it with the shoe on the other foot ??? at least mia isn't as obvious as BECKETT

jensonbutton: beckett is NOT OBVIOUS

fernandoalo_oficial: wait how did we not catch on???

yourusername: mia is a cute name !!!

sebastianvettel: maybe max and charles get their scheming from you

charles_leclerc: i do NOT SCHEME

yourusername: ummmmm sebastian your number one boy name was enzo... i may not know f1 but even i know that ENZO IS ENZO FERRARI YOU ARE NOT SLICK

sebastianvettel: damn tough crowd

user26: god i wish they publicised their arguments about naming like they did with the godfathers

user27: i just know those lists were heinous those men should not be allowed to name anything ever

fernandoalo_oficial: ummm actually i suggested florence

yourusername: we BOTH suggested florence

jensonbutton: i highlighted it first in the book

yourusername: NO YOU DIDN'T

sebastianvettel: i'm staying out of this one

user26: thanks for this little highlight reel 👍

note: AAHHHHHHHH PART FIVE i hope we are happy with the name choice, thank you for all of your amazing suggestions. i cannot remember who exactly suggested florence but i loved it so much esp cause flo is such a cute nickname !!! but also big shoutout to @evilsailorsenshi for the mia suggestion i had to make it a middle name to do the series justice x

do not fear this is not the end, i plan on following this lil family for a good while, so i hope this is a good fill of mamma mia content for now.

hopefully i got everyone on the taglist! - also, everyone who replied to my post about life, i am still getting back to people but thank you so much, i love this lil community so much !! please never be afraid to reach out to me if need be i'm always up for a chat!

taglist: taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch@imagandom@mypage-myfandoms@mehrmonga@asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt@multilovebot@lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn@nothingfuninthislife@rileynicol3@kodzuvk@mochimommy2002@fluffyspaceprincess@roseseraj@black-swan-blog27@nyrasslut@justdreamersdream@asfaraslifegets@why4anne@ineffableperson@leilanixx@lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog@rafaaoli@champomiel@sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro @thecubanator2 @nzygftoji @rockyhayzkid @nmw-am @slytherheign @erikasurfer @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see @greigreyhiyyih @duck-duck-goose-18 @dark-night-sky-99 @ironcowboycopnickel @sizzlingghostoperatorbagel @2bormaybenot @42ndbrokencompass @whotfisvale @lichterfee @sticksdoesart @glitterf1 @turn-around-look-at-what-you-see

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part one.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 2,798 others

yourusername yeehaw (bahrain edition)

view all 934 comments

user the only person more american than logan is his sister

logansargeant imagine spending more time with a horse than your own twin brother

↳ yourusername don't need to bc i did

↳ logansargeant this is the cyber bullying mom warned me about

↳ yourusername do you wanna see bullying? cuz i'll show you bullying

user oh to be a girl at the beach during sunset

INSTAGRAM.

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tagged: logansargeant

yourusername baby's first f1 race! kick some ass logie! 🫶

view all 1,452 comments

logansargeant thank you but we're literally the same age??

↳ yourusername umm i think you're mistaken cuz last i checked i was still a minute older

user LOGIE I'M DECEASED

user y/n giving us the low qual logan content we've been craving

williamsracing Best of luck to Logan! We're happy to have him as part of the team!

user WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR RAHHHH 🦅🦅🦅

oscarpiastri i don't even wanna know how far back you had to scroll in your gallery to find that last picture

↳ yourusername careful piastri, i have some of you too and i'm not afraid to use them

↳ oscarpiastri noted.

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tagged: yourusername

logansargeant could've been better, could've been worse, but i couldn't have asked for a better cheerleader this weekend. everyone's jealous they ain't got a sister like mine

view all 2,117 comments

user RAAAAHH!! USA!! USA!! USA!! 🦅💥

alex_albon could really feel the williams love all weekend long 💙

yourusername i mean i GUESS i have to take my job as your sister seriously SOMETIMES

↳ oscarpiastri as opposed to the rest of the time when you're mortal enemies

↳ yourusername i'm glad SOMEONE understands

user am i the only one who didn't know logan had another sibling???

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f1paddockgossip_official Y/N Sargeant, sister to new Williams driver Logan Sargeant, makes her F1 paddock debut this weekend at the Bahrain Grand Prix! With such a bright demeanor, it was hard to miss her! It's only the first race of the 2023 season, and we hope to be seeing her around more often.

view all 7,538 comments

user THAT'S WHO THAT WAS???

user she's our all american girl and we love her

user nothing more american than twins

↳ user this literally makes no sense?? what??

user FORGET THE DRIVERS I WANNA MEET HER 😍

user becoming a logan fan just for his sister

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yourusername goodbye bahrain, you were a wonderful experience

view all 364 comments

user will you be at the saudi arabian gp???

williamsracing We hope to see you at more races Y/N! Thanks for coming out to support our team! 💙

↳ yourusername of course! i had the time of my life!

user who needs to be a wag when you can just be the sister of a driver and get the same benefits

user is this supposed to be a reference to oscar's post??

↳ user wait omg is it?

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oscarpiastri goodbye bahrain, you were everything.

comments have been disabled

━━ a/n: oh gosh, this is my first time posting anything like this on tumblr so i hope it's good! more to come eventually! still trying to figure out a style, so please excuse any mistakes or discrepancies!

[miryum]

"Tactical Village"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

“Do you recognise any of these men?” Y/n asked a woman who was wearing a ‘Visitor’ tag. 

The woman shook her head, saying, “I was hiding in the bathroom stall so I didn’t see his face. But, I heard him. He was singing along to the track.”

“Do you remember what he was singing?”

“Oh my gosh, no, Y/n,” Jason couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Don’t do it….” Y/n chuckled along with him. Captain Wayne had assigned a detective to Y/n whenever she interrogated a perp. There had been an… incident. 

Cass didn’t know who gave Y/n a guitar, but the woman was currently torturing a perp with her terrible playing of the instrument, accompanying the sound with loud, off-tune screaming. 

The woman shrugged. “I think it was that song ‘I Want it That Way.’ ” 

Y/n hummed. “Backstreet Boys, I’m familiar.”

“Maybe a little too familiar,” Jason muttered. He thought of all the times Y/n had agonised both the criminals and detectives on duty with their songs.

“Number one,” Y/n ignored Jason, pressing a button for the intercom. “Could you please sing the opening to ‘I Want it That Way?’”

“Really? Uh… okay,” Perp 1 said. “You are… my fire?”

Y/n glanced over to the witness who shook her head. “Number two, keep it going.”

“The one… desire.” Perp 2 squinted to Perp 1, looking for confirmation that this was actually happening. 

“Number three?” Y/n nodded along to the nonexistent beat. 

“Believe… when I say?”

“Number four!” Y/n called out, grinning widely, leaning on the desk.

“I want it that way.”

“TELL ME WHY!” Y/n sang loudly into the microphone. 

“Ain’t nothing but a heartache,” all the suspects chanted along. 

“TELL ME WHY!”

“Ain’t nothing but a mistake…”

“Now number five,” Y/n crooned to the melody.

Perp 5 raised his hand, losing himself in the music. “I never wanna hear you say,”

“WHOO!” Y/n shouted out.

“I want it that way,” everyone finished together.

“Chills! Literal chills!” Y/n shivered, giggling. 

“It was number five,” the woman said. “Number five killed my brother.” 

“Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about that,” Jason murmured. “And, Y/n, just so you know, you pressed the ‘speaker’ button. Everyone in the precinct could hear that.” 

“Ohhh… whoops?”

“Happy Tactical Village Day!” Y/n high-fived Tim on her way in the door. “Happy Tactical Village Day, Cass! Happy Tactical Village Day!”

“L/n, I'm surprised to see you so excited about departmentally mandated training exercises,” Wayne commented. 

“Why, ‘tis the most fun day of the year, my good sir! Something you wouldn't understand, because you're not programmed to feel joy.”

“Yes, but my software is due for an upgrade,” Wayne retorted.

”When you play along with the robot jokes it ruins my enjoyment of them,” Y/n pouted.

“Yes, I am aware.”

“Anyway, Tactical Village Day is awesome!” Y/n continued with her rant. “We get to field test a bunch of cool, new weapons and there's always a fun training situation. Last year's was prison break. It got uber violent. It was like being in an action movie.” Her eyes went wide with excitement.

Y/n was using a piece of her hair to slowly chisel away at a metal bar of a cell.

“Y/n?” Steph called from the other end of the cell. “Cass and I dug a tunnel. Wanna use it?”

“Go on without me,” Y/n said in a deep, gruff voice. “I’ll make due by myself.”

“It's also a good opportunity for us to bond as a unit,” Steph said, reminding them all the true reason of Tactical Village Day.

“Everybody gets into it,” Y/n exclaimed. 

Jason kicked down a door and he and Dick rushed through it, screaming as they stormed the room. 

It turned out to be a supply closet.

“Suffice to say, the sixty-sixth has never had a perfect run,” Dick chuckled and scratched his neck. 

“Yeah, but Y/n has been the finalist for coolest kill two years in a row,” Stephanie said. “Every precinct sends their footage and all the cops vote.”

“It's not that big of a deal,” Y/n waved her away. “All you win is a children's tennis trophy, so…”

“You desperately want that trophy, don't you?” Wayne asked.

“So badly.” Y/n growled. “I will stop at nothing to obtain my prize. I'll shoot all of you in the face if I have to!”

“Go team,” Damian said monotonously. 

“Okay, so,” Y/n slid into the seat next to Jason’s on the bus ride over. “I’ve figured out my fictional persona for this year’s shooty-shooty rootin-tootie.”

“How the hell do you come up with these names?” Jason muttered, mostly to himself. 

“I am… Gina Thunderhouse. Russian spy, weapons master, and total badass. I even have cool Russian accent.” she said in a bad accent. “Babushka. Moscow. Rasputin.” 

“You know ‘babushka’ means ‘grandma,’ right?”

“Whatever. At least I have a persona, Mr. I’m-not-even-trying-to-be-fun.”

“This training isn’t about fun,” Jason frowned. “It’s about honing our skills to be better officers.”

“We shoot paint at pretend bad guys!” Y/n cried. “How is that not fun?!”

“I’m gonna go talk to Dick,” Jason said, standing up. “You have fun thinking of more Russian words.”

Steph quickly filled Jason’s empty seat, grinning sharply. “Seems like you two are getting cosy!”

“Come on, Brown. Not this again!”

“You gotta admit there’s spark.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you?!” Y/n exclaimed. “He’s like a brother to me.”

“And Leia was like a sister to Luke,” Steph sang out.

“Okay, that’s not fair. Luke didn’t know! No one knew.”

Steph shrugged and let the conversation go, though a smile flitted through her lips. Soon, the sixty-sixth arrived at the building where Tactical Village Day would commence. Walking in the doors, duffel bags full of gear and weapons in hand, Y/n shouted out, “The six-six is in the house!” 

“Six-six!” The rest of the crew echoed.

“Hey! Biz!” Y/n greeted an old friend. “They upgraded you from bystander to perp! That’s great, man. Still gonna blow your brains out though.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything else,” Biz waved back.

“Jason Todd?” A voice spoke from a crowd of detectives and cops. “Is that you?”

“Rose?” Jason’s head whipped towards the voice. “It’s been so long! What’re you doing here?”

“I’m with the seventeenth now,” she explained. “We’re paired with you guys today.” Rose was a tall, slim, blonde girl whom it seemed Jason connected with very well. 

“Wha- what’s going on here?” Y/n shuffled up to them, Steph close behind. 

“Oh, Y/n, this is Rose Wilson.” Rose held out a hand and Y/n firmly shook it. “Rose, this is Y/n L/n. She’s the life of the six-six.” He placed a hand on Y/n’s lower back, pushing her slightly forward. 

“Nice to meet you,” Rose said. 

“Likewise,” Y/n pressed her lips together in a smile. 

“Well, I gotta go,” Rose hugged Jason. “I’ll see you later, though. Great seeing you.”

“You too,” Jason returned the hug. 

Once Rose had left with a wave, Y/n turned to Jason and questioned, “So… who was that?”

“That was Rose,” Jason said as if it was the most obvious thing. “We went on a couple of dates last year.” 

“You did?” Steph asked. Y/n had forgotten she was behind her. Cass joined them, silently backing up her friends.

“Yeah, I liked her, but she was stationed in Metropolis so I didn’t get to see much of her. I guess it just fizzled out.”

“Right,” Y/n gawaffed. “That's the girl you said the lame stuff about. Like ‘she's a good listener’ and shit.” Internally, she felt bad for deriding Rose- she seemed like a nice person- but she couldn’t help but take a rag at Jason.

“I'm sorry, what do you look for in a relationship?” Jason asked snarkily. 

“I don't know,” Y/n shrugged. “Real stuff. Shape of their ass. Sense of dark humour.”

“Of course.” Jason rolled his eyes and stalked away.

“Isn’t it weird that Jason dated that girl?” Y/n scoffed, hands on her hips.

Steph raised her brows, mirroring L/n’s stance. “Why do you care so much?” Her voice rose higher with each word.

“Okay, first of all, your insinuating voice is way too high,” Y/n accused. “It's weird. And second, I don't care. I'm just wondering why he would like her.”

“Whatever you say,” Steph said, voice still high-pitched and she shuddered. “Okay, yeah, I hear it now. I sound like Cat from Sam and Cat.”

“Yes, you do.” Cass agreed. “But, I agree. L/n needs to confront her feelings for Todd and woman up.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and excused herself from the conversation, claiming the need to talk to Tim.

“Oh, this is so cool!” Y/n squealed, holding a parallel gun. “You can shoot around corners. I love guns.” She sighed and said, “I'm gonna make such a good mom someday.”

Jason shook his head, lips pursing. “Not even gonna touch that.”

“Not even gonna touch that: Title of your sex tape,” Y/n muttered, then chuckled. “Come on, man. At least make me work for it.”

Soon, it was time for the sixty-sixth to run the simulation. The team was standing by the door, waiting to be let in when Y/n slid by on her knees, making a dramatic entrance. “Gina Thunderhouse had arrived.” Her voice was, once again, accented in a bad Russian tone.

“That was majestic,” Tim joked.

“Custom kneepads to help me win coolest kill,” Y/n patted her knees, showing off her kneepads. After an awkward silence, she asked, “What, don't tell me Thunderhouse is the only lady here with a signature move!”

Tim shrugged. “I was bouncing around the idea where when I'm out of ammo, I release my mag and dropkick or chuck it into someone's throat.”

“You know how people hold their guns sideways to look cool?” Dick asked. Y/n nodded and the sarge continued, “It got me thinking. What if you held your gun upside-down?” He demonstrated it, flipping his gun upside down, finger still on trigger.

Before Y/n could respond with how that was an incredibly stupid idea, a loud buzzer sounded and another precinct marched out the door, looking victorious.

“Seventeenth’s done.” Y/n muttered and Stephanie stepped closer to her. “Heads up.”

“Hey. How'd it go?” Jason greeted Rose. 

Rose smiled and replied, “it went well. We had a perfect run! And not to brag, but I think we just set a GCPD course record for time.”

“Definitely a brag,” Y/n huffed quietly. 

“A course record?” Jason’s brows shot up.  “That’s so cool.”

“Thanks.” Rose looked up at him. “I'm psyched. By the way, good luck in there.”

“Thanks,” Jason called after her as she walked away.

“All right, huddle up.” Y/n pulled Jason away by the strap of his vest and into a group huddle. “This is how it's going down.”

“What happened to your accent, Gina?” Steph asked teasingly, knowing full well what was going on.

“Forget that shit.” Y/n frowned. “We're taking this seriously. Okay, on three: Let's break that course record and be the best precinct here! One, two, three!”

The group repeated, “let’s break that course record and… uh…” They all trailed off, mumbling different things as they forgot the words. 

“Yeah, I agree, it was too many words.” Y/n grimaced. “Let’s just do it.”

“Okay, I've got the details for this simulation.” Dick sat in front of a console, radioing in to everyone’s headsets. “A group of armed men entered an embassy and took hostages.”

“Which embassy?” Y/n couldn't help but ask. She shook her head, reminding herself to stay focused. “Doesn't matter. We’ll just say, Canada. They’re too nice to say no if someone asks to take them hostage. So take out the perps, clear the civilians, rescue the hostages?”

“Affirmative,” Dick confirmed. “This is an active shooter situation. You're cleared for maximum engagement.”

“‘Maximum engagement?’” Y/n scoffed. “What is this, Jurassic Park: The Ride?” 

Dick didn’t answer, commanding, “Brown and Drake, perimeter security. Brown, make sure he doesn’t fall asleep, but also doesn’t die from caffeine overdose. He only got two and a half hours last night.”

“Got it,” Brown said, yanking Tim’s cup of coffee away from him.

“L/n and Todd, you're the assault team. I'll be in the command centre. Cain, I need you to do surveillance on the places I can’t see.”

“On it.” Cass disappeared into the vents and Dick stared after her, wondering how she didn’t end up as an assassin-for-hire.

“All right, focus up,” Y/n said into the comms. “We got eighteen minutes and forty-one seconds to break this record. No screwing around.”

“Wow, you're really not gonna do a character?” Jason asked, smirking.

“I am playing a character,” Y/n said. “A no-nonsense detective whose only goal is to set this course record. Her name is Y/n L/n. She’s a kid who grew up with an absent father and just wants to prove herself. I don't have time for her full back-story. Sarge, please, let’s start.”

“Okay, guys, and go!” Dick clicked a stopwatch and the team rushed in.

Y/n zipped around a corner, gun drawn. When she didn’t see anyone, she called, “clear!”

She and Jason repeated the actions, peeking around corners and yelling, “clear.”

Y/n turned around a corner and fired two shots at a cop labelled “PERP.”

“Nice,” Jason commented.

Y/n ignored him and said, “okay, only three perps left. We might actually do this.”

Dick’s voice came in through the comms. “L/n, Cain has intel that there’s a hostage in room 409.”

“Copy that.” Y/n inhaled and said, “I love how it always smells like fresh paint here. Reminds me of how often I moved as a child.”

“No talking,” Jason reminded her. “You'll give away our position.”

“Look out!” Y/n was staring over his shoulder. She quickly lifted her gun and fired a shot at someone. 

Jason shielded away from the noise. “That was close.” He inspected Y/n and said, “there's paint in your hair.” He reached up and smoothed the paint away. “Thanks for shooting that guy.”

“My pleasure.” Y/n followed him around the corner and stared at a door marked 409. “The hostages are in there. Intel says there's a couple of heavily-armed perps with them.”

Jason asked, “you want to wait for backup?”

Y/n shook her head. “No time. We only have a minute to win the record.” She sighed and declared, “I'm going in.” At Jason’s scandalised look, she reassured him, smiling. She gently took Jason’s gun from his hands. “Don't worry. I have a plan on how to beat them: Give up.”

“What?!”

“Trust me,” Y/n said. “Or don't.” She shrugged. “I'm doing it anyway.” Jason’s heart dropped, watching her walk cautiously into the room. She announced, hands holding her guns in the air, “GCPD! Don't shoot!” Inside the room were two perps, guarding three hostages. “I'm here to surrender,” Y/n told them. The hostages looked at her as if she was crazy. “Let the hostages go and take me instead,” she said. 

“Not happening.” One of the perps growled. “Drop your weapon!”

”Okay, okay, my fingers are off the triggers.” Y/n agreed, dangling her guns off her fingers. “I'm just gonna slowly put them down in front of me….” She started crouching down. Jason watched, aghast, from the doorway. “I’m slowly putting 'em…” Suddenly, she twisted her fingers around and pulled the triggers, shooting the two perps in the chest.

“Goddamn it!” One of the perps yelled.

“Dick, time!” Y/n shouted into her comm.

“18 minutes, 28 seconds. You broke the record!” Dick cried back.

“Yes! Nice!” Jason ran in and hugged Y/n tightly, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She squealed and hugged him back. 

Jason paraded her out of the room and they greeted their teammates to a chorus of cheers, applause, and claps on the back.

“Ah, there she is!” Dick called.

“The record is ours.” Y/n spread her arms.

“I still can't believe your final kill came from Dick’s move.” Tim shook his head, looking disgusted.

“You went upsy-downsies?” Dick gasped. “That's what I call it, because you hold the gun upside-down.”

Y/n sighed. “Yes, Richard, I went upsy-downsies. And none of you shall ever speak of it again.”

“But I want to speak of it,” Jason whined. “You looked really stupid.”

“Alright, let's go.” Dick grinned. “Drinks are on me.”

“Nice! Here we go, six-six!” Y/n held her hand up to Jason for a high-five, face flushed with excitement.

Jason grimaced. “Actually, Rose asked me to dinner, so maybe I can meet up with you guys afterwards?”

Y/n’s face dropped. “Oh. Sure. Yeah. Of course. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool.” Jason nodded and left, giving goodbyes as he walked away.

“What's going on, Gina Thunderhouse?” Cass smirked, sidling up with Steph. 

Y/n muttered, “what do you think Jason sees in Rose?”

“So you do like him!” Steph accused, smiling slyly. 

“I'm just curious!” Y/n tried to defend. “I mean, she's okay-looking and a good cop….” But aren’t I okay-looking and a good cop? “Also, she set the course record, but that's nothing. I broke it, like, 20 minutes later.”

“You want to know why he went out with her and not you?” Cass asked quietly. 

“Yeah.” Y/n swallowed harshly. 

“Because she actually asked him out,” Steph finished.

Captain Wayne raised a brow, looking down at Y/n’s desk. “You won coolest kill?” He gestured to the small tennis trophy Y/n was staring at. 

“No- not by a long shot.” She chuckled dryly. “But Dick bought it for me ‘cause he felt like I should’ve won. But he’s bias, of course.”

“Of course.” Captain Wayne smiled softly. “Detective, are you alright?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Captain,” Y/n mumbled. “Can- can I ask you a question?” 

“Sure, L/n.”

Y/n looked up at Wayne. “How’d you know Clark was the one?” she whispered.

Bruce sighed and offered, “come into my office. And bring your trophy.”

Doing as she was told, Y/n followed Bruce into his office. She sat down and Bruce took the trophy from her, placing it on his desk proudly. “When I first got here, Damian told me of your predicament.” When Y/n’s mouth fell open in betrayal, Bruce held up his hand. “I would’ve figured it out either way. I used to be a detective, after all. But what he didn’t know is if Todd liked you back. However, based on months of observation, I’ve noticed, for lack of a better simile, that Todd follows you like a lost puppy. I should know; I acted the same way towards Clark before we started dating.”

“Did you ask him out?” Y/n asked.

Bruce let out a laugh. “God, no. I was too scared. But that’s not an invitation to make the same mistakes I did. I lost a lot of time with Clark because of my anxiety.”

“Duly noted, Captain. Thank you.”

“Anytime, L/n. And good job in the Tactical Village.”

“Thank you, sir.”

[littlemissmentallyunstable]

title: the mysterious blonde (PART 1)

pairing: grayson hawthorne x (first person) reader

synopsis: you are gigi’s best friend and you go over to her house to work on a school project, only to meet her mysterious brother who popped up a couple of months ago and turns out he’s just your type

parts: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

warnings: it’s long

a/n: actually forgive me because this story is so long, don’t ask me why I got too carried away. there are two more parts as well if you make it through this and actually end up enjoying it. thank you for reading, requests are always open xx

tag list: there is no tag list but let me know if you want to be on it :)

Gigi and I trudge out of double history, so exhausted we look like we’re about to flop onto the floor. I actually think we might.

“That was the longest few hours of my life,” she says to me, her wide eyes almost look sad.

“Literally,” I groan, “why didn’t time seem to move?”

“I don’t know but my brain feels like mush,” she replied, rubbing her temples.

“I can second that,” I sigh.

“And all that homework she gave us! What was all that about?” my best friend exclaims, probably the closest to anger I’ll ever see her.

“I don’t even want to know,” I roll my eyes, “this subject is killing me, why did we even take history?”

“Because we have to,” she deadpans.

I groan aloud again, “this is so stupid.”

“You know saying it’s stupid is not going to change our position,” she tells me, putting an arm around my shoulder.

“I know, I know, but it feels good,” I explain.

“Yeah it does,” Gigi agrees, coming to a sudden halt before yelling , “this is stupid!”

The sound of her voice bounced off of the walls of the now lonely corridor that had been deserted at lunch hour. We continue walking.

“See?” I say, folding my arms across my chest, “feels good does it?”

“Better than peanut butter and jelly cookies,” she says, then pauses, “wait maybe not…”

I wrinkled my nose, “peanut butter and jelly cookies? That’s a low standard, literally anything is better.”

Gigi stops in her tracks, causing me to almost fall over. She stares at me, her face a mix of shock, horror and disbelief as she says, “You’re kidding me, right?”

I stare at her and cautiously answer, “…no?”

“Why are we even friends?” she asks.

The question takes me so off guard that I don’t get time to process it properly before I answer, “What?”

“You don’t like peanut butter and jelly cookies,” she states, “so why are we even friends?”

“Oh my gosh you’re going to disown me as a friend because I don’t like a cookie,” I ask flatly.

“It’s not just a cookie,” she says, a dangerously threatening glint in her eyes that I wasn’t familiar, “take that back. Right now.”

I hold my hands up in mock surrender, “I apologise to you and your love for peanut butter and jelly cookies.”

“Okay,” she smiles as we begin to walk again, “friendship sorted.”

I scoff and shake my head, not helping the smile on my face. We walk to the canteen together and grab our food. We don’t have the energy or effort to carry on conversation seen a history had sucked us dry of any joy or potential excitement to talk. We grab our food and sit where we always do in the summertime. Outside there’s a small wall tucked away. We climb up it as usual and each our lunch there, it’s much more peaceful than dealing with everyone else. Gigi looks as if she’s very fixated on the football game occurring on the field so I let my mind wander. I chew thoughtfully on some dry school bread, brainstorming ideas for the history project we’d just been set. It was only then I notice the absence Gigi’s sister.

“Where’s Savannah?” I suddenly ask.

“Oh I forgot, she’s playing at basketball tournament today,” Gigi replies, a cheerful undertone in her voice.

“That’s amazing,” I say, my eyes wide, “I hope she does well.”

“She will,” Gigi shrugs, “she always does.”

I smile, admiring Gigi’s purest and truest of faith for her sister. Savannah had always been super talented at basketball, on every team and the best one there. Me and Gigi would often go and watch her games, cheering annoyingly loudly from the side lines earning us both dirty looks from the pair of piercing grey eyes that belonged to Savannah. Though we all knew deep down she secretly loved the crazy support even if it did drive her up the wall.

“Hey wanna work on the project at mine later,” Gigi asks suddenly.

“Yeah sure,” I shrug, “I’ve got some of the stuff at my house, I’ll dash home get ready and bring them after school.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she nods, smiling from ear to ear.

“Great,” I smile back.

“Oh by the way, my brother will be there,” she adds quickly, testing the water to see if it might alter my decision.

“What the mystery one that popped out of nowhere that everyone calls the male version of Savannah?” I ask.

Gigi had told me about her mystery brother. When she went M.I.A for a whole week I had panicked like crazy. And that girl cannot lie to save her life. She explained all the happenings to me and I didn’t say a word to anyone. Though I’d never met the infamous Grayson Hawthorne. I didn’t even know he really existed before Gigi told me about him. Of course, I’d hear the name in passing due to the inheritance of a certain seventeen year old girl but other than that I never really knew who he was before Gigi.

“That would be the one,” she grins, swinging her legs up and down, “he always comes for dinner on Wednesdays.”

“Oh,” I say quickly, “don’t want to intrude on family stuff.”

Gigi and Savannah were close and they were close with their mother as well. I didn’t want to get in the way of spending time with their new found brother. Gigi had only ever told me good things about him but Savannah never talked of it much. She avoids the topic like the plague so I never asked. Secretly I think she really loves him.

“Oh no he won’t mind,” Gigi shrugs.

“Are you sure Gigi because-“

“Y/N I’m sure,” she says seriously putting her hands on my shoulders.

I nod and the bell goes off. I sigh, just have to get through the afternoon now.

***

As soon as school is over, I rush home and jump in the shower, flinging on the first clothes I find in my drawer. I fill a tote bag with bits and bobs we might need as well as some chocolate covered pretzels because Gigi goes feral for them. I leave my house, and just as I’m locking the door I get a text. My eyes flick to my phone, Gigi has sent a cat meme, of course. I open it to find a little tabby cat staring at me with its tongue stuck out with the text attached reading ‘where are you??’. I giggle and shake my head and drop a quick text back to tell her I’m on the way.

***

After a few buses and too much power walking for one girl, I arrive at the door breathless. I make a mental note that I need to workout more. I give the door a quick knock and wait awkwardly outside.

It swings open within a few minutes revealing a grinning Gigi, “Y/N!”

“Hey Gigi,” I say, giving her a quick hug as we step in.

“It’s like you guys haven’t been together all day,” comes another voice.

My head whips around to see familiar grey eyes and two blonde braids.

“Savannah!” I exclaim, rushing towards her and pulling her into an embrace

“Hey,” she laughs, hugging me back.

“How was your tournament?” I ask her.

“We won,” she shrugs as if it’s nothing, though it probably was to her.

“Of course,” I say, tilting my head, “sorry we couldn’t be there.”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” she replies, “besides it was nice not having two maniacs howling your name.”

I turn to Gigi, “I think she just admitted she missed us.”

“She did, didn’t she?”

“Whatever helps you guys sleep at night,” Savannah says coolly, “heard about your history project, good luck, I’m glad it’s you and not me,”

“Thanks Sav,” I say sarcastically.

“You are so welcome Y/N,” she grins, ruffling my hair.

“And this is Grayson, my mysterious brother who pretends to be moody all of the time,” Gigi explains, gesturing to a boy.

Well I should say a man because holy mother of all saints and lords… he had the most gorgeous face I’ve ever laid eyes on. He was the pinnacle of perfection and so radiantly beautiful. He practically glowed. His hair was golden like some sort of buried treasure that glistened in the right lighting. He was tall and muscular, that was obvious even through his suit. A pretty face and a fit physique, it was a win win. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been standing there cautiously watching my interactions with his sisters. When our eyes met my legs almost buckled. They were a stormy grey that left me senseless. My heart thumped in my chest and butterflies flew up my stomach every which way. I could see his resemblance with Savannah but there were so many differences that made him… him.

“Hi,” I smile, trying not to blush or sound stupid, dismally failing at both and mentally ticking this off as one of my top ten most embarrassing moments of my whole life entire life.

“Hello Y/N,” he replies, not exactly smiling but not straight faced, somewhere in between, “I can assure you I do not pretend to be moody all of the time no matter what my sister has told you.”

His voice is so mellow it could melt butter with one sound.

“He does,” Gigi whispers loudly enough for him to hear

“It’s okay,” I say to Grayson, “I’m sure you don’t.”

“Gigi’s told me so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you in person,” he says

I try to not act too surprised at the thought of Gigi telling her brother all about me. I make a mental note to talk to her about it later.

“You too,” I nod with another sweet smile

I was smiling so much my jaw started to ache. I notice Savannah slip away, most likely to go and relax her muscles after the tournament today. I look back to Grayson.

“Well I’ll let you guys get on,” he nods, like a man of business.

I nod and smile shyly. He returns the smile and Gigi takes my hand and pulls we towards the staircase. I get one last glimpse of him and then we’re gone. As we walk up the stairs I struggle to get Grayson out of my head, he’s like an annoying catchy song or advert repeating in a vicious circle… except it’s not annoying when I get to envisage his face. I shake my head and push him out of my mind, I cannot find him attractive, he’s Gigi’s brother for goodness’s sake.

“So now you’ve met my infamous secret brother,” Gigi smirks, nudging me.

“Now I have,” I nod, smiling.

“So now you officially know every inch of my life,” she tells me as we reach her bedroom door, “it’s kind of creepy when you think of it.”

“Then let’s not,” I shrug as we walk in.

We set up together on the floor and that’s when I pull out the bag of treats I’d bought for my addict of a friends. As soon as her eyes connect with the packaging they almost bulge out of her skull.

“You bought chocolate covered pretzels!” she screams, joy and awe written all over her face.

“Obviously,” I roll my eyes, handing her the bag.

“You are officially my favourite best friend ever,” she squeals, hugging them to her chest, like a mother would her child.

“Aren’t I your only best friend?” I say.

“Well yeah, but still…” Gigi trails off, as she opens the bag, “want one?”

“They’re all yours Gigi,” I tell her.

She hesitates for a moment, “Are you sure?”

“Very,” I reassure her, attempting to organise some of notes into piles.

“I’m paying you back,” she says confidently.

“Have fun trying,” I tease her, poking my tongue out,

“I will find a way,” she replied, determination thick in her voice.

Gigi and I only ever argued when it came to paying for things. We both were constantly trying to pay the other back for the 2 dollars they needed for a coffee or the movie tickets from the week before. But I’d gotten very inventive in preventing Gigi from paying me back.

“Sure you will sweetie,” I patronise her.

She ignores me, popping one of her chocolate covered pretzels into her mouth. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back and savours the taste.

“That is so amazingly yum,” she whispers.

“I’m glad,” I grin, “now come on. We have work to do.”

We work on the project for so long we lose track of time. Through giggles and shouts and possibly a few tears that neither of us will admit tomorrow, we’d gotten just short of halfway done. That is when Savannah calls us for dinner. Both in shock that we’d actually worked, made progress and managed to forget the time we go downstairs.

“You do realise that you both never shut up right?” Savannah says as we enter the room.

“Sorry,” I grin sheepishly, tucking the loose stands of hair behind my ears.

“I think it’s a good thing,” Gigi counters, “I like to talk.”

“Don’t we know it,” her sister rolls her eyes, sitting down at the table.

Four plates of streaming food sit on the table and we all take our places. Grayson joins us and sits down beside Savannah opposite me. I try not to hold my eyes on him for too long so it didn’t seem like I was staring but I couldn’t help but steal myself one glance. I’m driving myself crazy thinking about how my hand might fit perfectly into his and his pretty pretty mouth or that one tiny freckle just below his eyebrow, that I’d convinced myself I was the first to notice. I also really wanted this guys hair routine because his hair looked so silky and soft.

“How’s the project going?” Savannah asks over the clanging of silverware on plates.

“Good,” Gigi replies and then rethinks the decision, “I think.”

“We’re nearly halfway finished,” I explain, “but there’s a lot to do.”

“So much!” she groans, tipping her head back.

“What teacher do you have again?” Savannah asks us.

“Ms Harrison,” Gigi replies.

Savannah often wasn’t in our classes due to her extended sports timetable, so we didn’t have a lot of the same teachers. It was always kind of lonely without her.

She screws her face up, “I hate that woman.”

“She treats her subject like her child,” I roll my eyes, laughing.

“I mean when am I ever going to use history in my real life?” Gigi asks.

“You might need it in your job?” I shrug, taking a sip of water.

“As if,” she replies, giving me the look.

“What do you want to do Y/N?”

My head whips up and I stare directly at Grayson. His voice startles me. I’d almost forgotten he was there. It takes me far too long to process the question before I make some sort of awkward blubbering sound as I try and work out what to say.

“With what?” I blurt out, sounding really unsophisticated.

“Your life,” he clarifies.

My mind races at one hundred miles an hour, “big question…” I nervously giggle, “…erm I don’t really know,”

“Oh?” he replied, eyebrows slightly raised in… surprise, disapproval, shock?? I couldn’t tell he was almost impossible to read. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up from this embarrassment.

“I mean I don’t have a set plan,” I say quickly trying to patch things up, “I want to do something that makes me happy.”

“What makes you happy?”

“Stop questioning her Gray,” Gigi interrupts, “you’re creeping her out.”

I feel my cheeks heat up and I look down, suddenly taking an interest in the intricacy of the tablecloth.

“Sorry,” Grayson says. I couldn’t see his face but I would assume from his tone that he was also finding the tablecloth interesting right about now.

“No it’s fine,” I say, my eyes darting up for a millisecond and then straight back down.

There’s an uncomfortable silence and nothing can be heard. Not even breathing.

“Have you seen the new frappuccino on the menu at the coffee shop around the corner?” Gigi asks, breaking the deadly silence, “I think it’s honey and gingerbread.”

The conversation picks back up from there but Grayson doesn’t really make conversation after that. When dinner is over, we all clean up, mostly in silence. There were pockets of small talk here and there but not much. When we’re almost done, I make eye contact with Savannah and she gives me a look. A furrow my brows confused and tilt my head. She shakes her head, rolling her eyes slightly. She takes me by the arm and leads me into the bathroom.

“Savannah? What is this?” I ask her, absolutely baffled, “because it’s starting to feel like one of those murder mysteries except it’s not a mystery to me if I’m the one being murdered.”

“I’m not going to murder you,” she scoffs, “and if I was I would do it in a much classier way.”

“Oh thanks,” I say, sarcastically, “so why have you dragged me in here, please.”

“We need to talk,” she says, a serious look in her eyes.

I suddenly feel an odd sense of dread building up inside but laugh it off and attempt to make a joke, “look if you want to break up-“

She flashes a grin and then her face goes serious again. I suddenly get a wave of nervousness come over me and my brain flicks through every possible thing I could’ve messed up in the past few weeks.

“Why is it Sav? Did I do something?” I ask, concerned and scared.

“Can you stop eyeball flirting with my brother,” Savannah deadpans, “it’s making me uncomfortable.”

“What!?” I yell without thinking, before my hands fly to my mouth when I realise how loud I’ve been.

She sighs and starts to repeat her sentence, “can you stop eyeball-“

“I heard you the first time,” I tell her.

“Good, now can you?” Savannah asks, folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the wall.

“I’m not eyeball flirting with anyone?” I hiss at her, maybe a bit too defensively.

“Okay, if you say so,” she says, “so can you stop ‘not eyeball flirting’ with my brother.”

“I can’t stop something I’m not doing,” I argue.

She stares at me, “you don’t want to fall for him.”

Her face doesn’t match her tone, it isn’t angry or aggressive, it’s concerned and worried.

“I’m not falling for him,” I reply softly, putting my hand on her arm, “I’ve barely met the poor guy.”

“He’s not a ‘poor guy’ by any long shot,” she laughs bitterly, “and if you think you like him, don’t. It’s a horrible road to go down.”

“Savannah I don’t like-“

“I know you,” she says sharply, stopping me mid sentence.

She’s right. She did know me. And I did like her brother… but she didn’t have to know just yet.

“He’s attractive, sure,” I shrug, trying to act cool and collected about the whole affair, “but it’s not like that.”

“Good,” Savannah says.

“Can we leave the almost murder scene now?” I joke, a smirk playing on my lips.

She rolls her eyes and shoves my shoulder playfully, “oh leave off.”

a/n: well done you made it to the end 😭😭 I’m so sorry but it’s not even over… PART 2 is coming up :) and I promise it’s more interesting that this part…

(this was originally just going to be one long piece of writing but I’ve split it into two now)

… more fics on my TIG masterlist

[bluemantics]

do u have any fics u think are like REALLY funny

Oh my gosh absolutely I do have humor tagged fics. When I write fanfics I try to make them funny, so when I read, I definitely look for the same! I put stars next to my faves.

If you want to check out my romcom klance fics and support me, they're here (coffee shop au) & here (hsm-ish au) /nf.

1. skin hunger by hiuythn

Canonverse | T+ | 12.5K

Keith is touch-starved to the point of stupidity. Lance helps. Lance tries to help. Lance tries.

2. the meaning of donuts by Katranga

Canonverse | T+ | 14.7K

The next few days were filled with Lance informing everyone, multiple times, of their “new” friendship. “We’re friends now, did you hear? Keith and I are friends.” Over and over, big smile, loud voice. Looking between Keith and whoever he was telling like he expected a round of applause. Or confetti. Or a parade. What he usually got was somebody making a crack about bonding moments, which prompted a tight, put-upon sigh on Keith’s end. And Lance would look at him fondly, and Keith would have to bite his cheek to distract himself from how much he wanted Lance to lean over and kiss him.

3. The Open Space of Desire by Prevalent_Masters *

Modern AU (river giuide x climber) | E | 44.8K

Keith’s doing just fine, thanks. So maybe he dropped out of college and maybe he doesn’t have what one might call “direction” in his life, but so what? He’s got a job he doesn’t hate, he’s got enough friends for his liking, he’s got Shiro, he’s got climbing on the weekends, he’s got the hookups with closeted college boys every once in awhile, and he’s fine. Happy. He doesn’t need anything to change.

That is, until he almost accidentally gets into a bar fight with an infuriatingly attractive river guide and then starts seeing said river guide everywhere and it turns out he's less infuriating but still definitely attractive, and, well—maybe Keith hasn’t been doing that fine. Maybe one thing can change.

4. Eyes So Pretty by stormie2817

Canonverse | T+ | 2.8K

When the paladins and their friends gather for a night of drinking and relaxing, Lance indulges a little too much and says some rather interesting things about a certain paladin....

5. The Loverboy Trials by PM_Writes

Canonverse | M | 20.8K

He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing.

The representative leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling.

It looks exactly like Keith.

6. you’re lucky that’s what I like by zencetera

College AU | T+ | 4K

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

7. Billy Ray is my boyfriend by VertigoReader101

Youtuber AU | G | 6K

It was moments like these that made Lance forget about his fears of telling everyone about his boyfriend. It was moments like these that he wanted to whip out his camera and share the love of his life with the world.

8. A Keithmas Carol by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) *

Bluemantics commentary: I adore Nikanaiko's writing more than literally any other klance author's. While I didn't laugh out loud while reading many fics, I always lose my shit for their work, SO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

Christmas Carol AU | T+ | 28.5K

Keith has read A Christmas Carol. Keith knows how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

This is not how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

9. suite on you by adelfie

College AU | T+ | 12K

Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

10. It Never Rains on Saturday by TheLegendOfChel *

Video Game AU | T+ | 22.7K

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

11. Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit by eggyeggplant *

Bluemantics commentary: I'm in shock this one isn't more popular since it is one of the funniest fics I've EVER read for ANY fandom. If you read this one, please give the author extra love, comments, kudos, etc.

Youtube AU | G | 3.5K

Actor Keith Kogane appears in a YouTube video with an old friend Lance McClain in an episode of Back-to-Back Chef where they attempt to make simple carbonara but they keep getting distracted by flirting with each other.

Hope these make you laugh anon!

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 8

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I am back! I know it's been a few days, but this week has been the absolute pits at work. Semester start up, new students, ramp up in projects, and alarm testing; it has been A Lot.

I am back though! I'm not going to lie, I am kind of scared that this chapter is titled "death". I may not be emotionally prepared.

No cat pics this week, Charlie has decided to abandon me- but I did break out the pumpkin mug for some pumpkin tea :'3

Here we go!

I love how Shen Qingqiu seeing this fight and an out of place person is like "only one type of person is like this" and then just doesn't say anything about who/what they are. p143

Wait, why does he toss the cat in there LOL 144

I am actually so glad that Little Palace Mistress got slapped twice! no one knows who actually slapped her- I do wish it was Ning YinYing, but it doesn't say who? (Is this revealed later? or just like left to the imagination?) pp144-145

oh shit! Another sower?!?!? p146

I feel like anytime this guy (shen qingqiu) tries to save himself Without a Cure really just ends up doing him dirty. p147

omg not his right hand again (re: touched by the sower) p148

and now he's (SQQ) being blamed again for yes another death he did not do (Re: toxic demonic poison and the disciple in the water prison). p149

oh no. did Luo Binghe kill Gongyi Xiao too??? I actually liked him (him being Gongyi Xiao) :( p150

oof. again I am so mad that these sects are quick to persecute SQQ without literally any proof. I am once again having flashbacks to MDZS. p152

Oh bless Liu Qingge to the rescue (reluctantly lol) p152

and shit, we have Luo Binghe here to snatch his man once again p153

Does Luo Binghe not know Gonyi Xiao is dead? I totally thought Luo BInghe killed him? I am confused- maybe this is revealed later? p153

why do I feel like there is another plot happening Like I get this vibe that Luo BInghe did not actually kill all those people in the Water Prison or those 100 disciples. we'll see I guess? p154

and Luo BInghe is letting him go??? p154

oh gosh! Luo Binghe pulled his sword?!?!? everyone knows about the demon things now. p156

okay now they are going to attempt to "resolve" things. I'm so nervous - these two better talk. It feels like they're always having two different conversations p157

I mean I get it Luo Binghe, If that was my life I too would say "fuck fate" p157-158

wait

oh no

oh no oh no

self detonation??? My heart :'0

why am I crying right now omg

"for all that has passed, I repay you today" p159

what the fuck :'((((((((

omg the amount of pain that just happened

this boy is fully breaking down and then Ning YingYing stands in to speak up

she really has grown on me as a character. Her evolution in this is so good. Good for her for standing up to literally everyone and talking some sense. pp162-163

oh gosh, it gets worse. And then here is Luo Binghe hearing from his old sect siblings about how distraught and lost SQQ was when they all thought Luo BInghe was dead. p163

Sweet baby boy Luo BInghe, just having an entire breakdown pp164-165

Well fuck.

Fucking hell, is this fool really dead?? Where was the system in all of this- we didn't even hear from it. No rescue or usage of points :(((((

I need it to be tomorrow so I can see what happens next.

[drkineildwicks]

Okay having woke up this morning to the teraleak and chatting about it with others on Renegades I have Some Thoughts

Firstly the beta Pokemon are...something else

Especially the one batch that looks like they got lost on the way into Monster Hunter

I don't want to hear another word about how 'mons from other monster capture look because it's not friend-shaped! Go hug proto-Cacturne and proto-Metagross then

Moving on...I love how everyone's suddenly clutching pearls at some of the lore stories XD

Like shut up I've seen y'all doing the nasty with 'mons on DA and FFN

I have seen worse on DA and FFN because none of y'all tag your stuff

The Typhlosion story is TAME compared to what some fans have come up with

And y'all cry about that one and yet will turn around and read the exact same story but with a werewolf instead of a Typhlosion

Them lore stories are just "x mythos but with Pokemon," y'all'd never survive Greek mythology

One of them was even labeled as being Native American lore

It also means y'all can't take the mickey out of Palworld and Lovander anymore because Slaking did it first *bricked*

But my all-time favorite of the batch is a QA tester for Ruby/Sapphire and Fire Red/Leaf Green listing the same grievances we as a fandom are listing twenty years later

oh gosh it's been twenty years *sob*

I remember that head honcho at Game Freak going "We like to read fan suggestions aloud and laugh at them!"

SON

Son that is your own QA tester THAT YOU HIRED AND PAID MONEY FOR giving you the exact same grievances

The dude is literally saying the same stuff the fans are and you refused to listen and thus you deserve all the shade you get

And yes it's sad and awful that people got doxxed with this leak

But to me it's telling that Arcane season 2 leaked and everyone respected the hard work and didn't look at the leaks

And yet the same thing happens to Pokemon and everyone's on it like fruit flies on ripe fruit

Something something this is what happens when you respect the fans versus when you don't

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hi Fen!!! Popping in to ask what you think the moon boys’ hobbies would be (if they weren’t so busy moon knighting). (For Steven, I feel like studying ancient Egypt is more like a passion, so like what else do you think he’d be into?)

K. Love you! Byeeeee.

IDJIDHVDHFH Oh my gosh, I love this ask so much! Thank you so, so, SO much for sending it! ❤️(ILY!) Did I think about this at work for a good 1 and 30 mins instead of working on a spreadsheet? No, of course not, I would never do that… 👀

I have narrowed it down to one each to save everyone from seeing my absolute madness.

Moon Knight Boys Headcanons & Hobbies

Rating: PG  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: Swearing

Steven: Cooking

Okay, here me out. So, I’ve seen opposite ends of opinion on this one (both are valid) but I’m going with Steven is a very good cook, and he likes cooking. 

He’s been vegan for a while and it’s only in the last couple of years that food places have really been trying with vegan and vegetarian options that aren’t salad… bread… (chips if you’re lucky) So, I think he enjoys making lots of different recipes. 

It started out with him just making vegan ones and then, over time, became him changing other recipes to make them vegan and coming up with his own. 

Absolute master at vegan cakes, no one can ever tell the difference, and, in fact, a lot of people compliment him on ‘the best cake they’ve ever had’, ‘so light and fluffy? How do you do it?’ “Well, that’s the secret, innit?” (whisk the aquafaba like your life depends on it and sweet potato) 

Steven is absolutely horrified by the food Marc makes himself. (Plain chicken, rice, spinach) 

“Where are the flavours Marc? At least some herbs? Spices for fuck’s sake? I can’t believe you’re eating plain steamed chicken?” (He doesn’t even care that it’s meat, it's just the lack of flavour.)

“It’s boiled chicken actually.”

Steven loses his goddamn mind. 

“I don’t care what bloody macronutrient you are monitoring, you are not eating that.”

It’s not that Marc can’t cook, he just doesn’t see the reason to put the effort in when it’s just for himself (doesn’t feel like he deserves it.)

Steven grumbles to himself and refuses to let Marc cook his own dinner if he can help it. “If you’re going to eat meat, at least treat it with respect, yeah? Bring out the flavour?” He usually preps something for Marc, so he can cook it quickly when he’s hungry. 

Makes so many cakes and pastries for Jake. Leaves them in boxes with ‘Jake :)’ written on a post stick note on the top. Jake is always so touched and surprised when he does. They have taken to playing a little game where sometimes the food is vegan and sometimes it’s not and Jake has to guess. He’s more accurate than most people, but it still only averages around 70% right. (69% if we’re being exact, and Marc is sure Jake’s messing with the correct statistics on purpose.)

Marc: Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Football

Literally takes it so seriously. Has spreadsheets filled with information and pours over every single statistic like it holds the answers to the universe. It only got more intense when he found a forum for people with the same interest and he literally will spend hours talking online about it.

“It’s not about getting the best players, it’s about making the best team.”

Jake has joked that he puts Steven and his love for history to shame and if those spreadsheets weren’t saved on the computer Marc would have boxes and boxes and folders upon folders of printed out info and then there would be zero space in the flat. 

When Marc annoys Steven, Steven tells him to “go play with your pretend american cricket and american rugby” to piss him off. 

(Marc retaliates by incorrectly pronouncing UK places. 

“Steven, maybe we should take a trip to Ed-in-b-row” 

“It’s Ed-in-bruh.” 

“How about Sus-SEX or Es-SEX?” 

“It’s Sus-SIX and Es-SIX.” 

“I do love Green-WITCH at this time of year.” 

“IT’S GREN-ITCH! Jake, you're from New York, how is Greenwich pronounced?” 

“I’m not getting involved.” 

“Ha! That’s because he agrees with me!”

When things get really heated, Marc threatens to make a cup of tea in the microwave. Steven says he doesn’t care because he makes coffee in the microwave all the time and it’s fine. Jake puts an end to it by saying hot chocolate tastes best with water and then laughing when both Marc and Steven gang up on him. 

“I cannot believe you think that mate.”

“You know how many different types of milk there are?”

“Absolutely disgusting.”

“Cow, goat, soya, almond, coconut, literally any of them instead.”)

Jake: Knitting

Wanted something to keep his hands busy, that he could pick up and put down, and that he could take in his cab when he was stationary and waiting for fares. 

Took to it a lot quicker than he thought it would, and can just zone out and knit. It helps keep him grounded. 

He feels like he has spent a lot of his time destroying and there is something so satisfying about being able to create. 

Once he mastered the stitch he quickly moved onto making clothes. Before Marc and Steven knew about him he used to knit jumpers for Steven and hide them in the wardrobe. 

Jake makes Marc a cartoony style baseball jumper that he also loves, and a thick cardigan for Steven that is covered in hieroglyphics (he spends months researching the language to get it to make some sense, and works in a dig at Khonshu in there and has Steven crying with laughter.) 

When they know about him Steven excitedly requests the “most garish and over the top Hanukkah jumper anyone has ever seen!” Jake does his best, presenting it to Steven (and trying to hide how nervous he feels) Steven loves it and refuses to take it off all winter. 

Most people think Jake has a stern glare when he wants, but you can never be sure if he’s planning your destruction or trying to work out how many balls of wool it would take to make someone your size a jumper.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @welcometostayingawake @mbakubabe @solobagginses @melodygatesauthor @romanarose @pimosworld @jake-g-lockley

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Yona

She’s the fiancé of prince Sidon, (arranged marriage) and since Sidon is almost always shipped with link, people went feral the second they saw her. She’s genuinely very kind and cares about her people and wants Sidon to be happy! She is NOT jealous, she wants him to hang out with his Best Friend. I have seen firsthand in real-time, people being SO misogynistic and cruel, and saying she’s ugly. She’s good in a crisis, very friendly, has a great design, and she doesn’t deserve the hate in the slightest!

I'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND CUTE ART OF HER AND SIDON AND QUITE LITERALLY EVERYTHING REGARDING HER IS JUST STRAIGHT UP BLATANT HATE AND DENOUNCING HER AS SOME LAST MINUTE ADDITION TO THE STORY AS ORCHESTRATED BY JOHN NINTENDO TO STOP SIDLINK FROM BEING CANON LIKE THIS IS THE THE JOHNLOCK CONSPIRACY OR SOME MESS... i just want to see cute art of a green shark woman with a lovely smile :((((

so the breath of the wild fandom is pretty well known for REALLY liking prince sidon aka that one really tall fish guy. and they're also really well known for shipping him with link because every fandom needs a gay ship right. so then the sequel (totk) comes around and it's revealed that sidon has a fiance now and it's not link it's some zora girl from another domain. the game hasn't even been out for a month but i've seen people act so vile towards her like yona get behind me!!!!

Zelda

She spent 100 years in a metaphysical wrestling match with an ancient and primal evil after seeing it destroy almost everyone and everything she held dear in the hopes of saving the few that remained and Link's main goal after HIYAHing his way out of a amnesia-inducing coma was to come in and tag team said evil in order to save her and like 90% of the memories he can regain focus on their relationship with each other and its gradual improvement up to the point where Link fucking dies protecting her and it's the push she needs to awaken the power to push back the blight and PEOPLE ARE STILL OUT THERE IN THEIR POST-CANON FANWORKS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT LINK FUCKS OFF AND LEAVES HER ALONE TO GO SMOOCH THE HOT FISH PRINCE BECAUSE ZELDA WAS BEING TOO OVERBEARING OR WHATEVER AND HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE EXPECTATION??? LIKE ZELDA'S WHOLE FUCKING ARC WASNT ALSO ABOUT HER STRUGGLING WITH EXPECTATION AND FAILING TO LIVE UP TO IT AND YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THIS WUALITY THEY BOTH OSTENSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WOULD DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN THEM?? WHERE'S ZELDA YOU COWARDS?? I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT HER AND LINK TO BE TOGETHER, JUST STOP DIMINISHING THE GRAVITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND MAKING ZELDA SUCK FOR NO REASON. SHE'S A BIG NERD! SHE GETS TOO IN HER OWN HEAD! SHE'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP THE PEOPLE SHE CARES ABOUT! SHE UNASHAMEDLY AND EXCITEDLY TRIED TO FEED HER PERSONAL KNIGHT A LIVE FROG IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HER 

Im specifically saying botw Zelda here because oh my gOSH this poor girl can get made out to be like a horrible bitch when people. want link to get that shark dick. on average she doesnt get thattttt badly treated compared to some others but goddamn.

title character but people hate her because they want link to get w sidon. so she gets fridged or entirely forgotten even though shes literally his canonical soulmate and they have been reincarnated together hundreds of times (w ganon but whether u make em poly or make him the long suffering third wheel is up to you). people will be like oh but zelda was mean to him that one time (??). be serious w me rn. she just got removed from fandom entirely and if that isnt the epitome of victim of yaoi idk what is.

[dinosaursatemymom]

Yk what's kinda sad? Is that kenhina seems like it used to be fairly popular. Cause there's a bunch of older kenhina content and the tag has like a lot of members it's just dry now. I bet this came about when people started to hate on any ship with Hinata that wasn't with Kageyama. Like now I'll see posts being like, "the old hq fandom was so bad Hinata was getting shipped with everyone blah blah blah..." like yes??? It's a fandom ofc people are gonna ship Hinata with different people😭 especially when he interacts with them.

Got too long so I rant about fandoms under the cut

But I think this comes from the larger issue of fandoms and shipping culture just becoming more strict which probably is cause of the amount of non fandom people calling us weird and like making fun of us. And like now I see so many fandoms trying to separate from the past fandoms and be like, "oh no we're normal now" and it's just making fandoms not as fun anymore😭 like who cares if we get made fun of 😭 fandoms are spaces for weird people to be weird about something they enjoy and if someone who isn't like that wants to make fun of us then let them. It's not for them. Y'all remember when people would ship characters from different universes just for shits and giggles😭 bring that shit back, that was so fun. I remember when I was younger, before I had really joined any fandoms, and watching ColeyDoesThings and Strange Æons on YouTube and just thinking that fandoms and Tumblr sounded so fun and then I joined expecting that, and it was like that for a while but it seemed to shift to more rules and strict shipping and people CONSTANTLY making fun of each other even within fandom spaces. Like yeah I think some stuff is cringy but I just move on cause they're having fun. I'm so sick of the arguing and the making fun of each other and the shipping wars. AND MULTISHIPPERS🫶 oh my gosh as a multishipper, I literally have been attacked so many times for saying that I enjoy two ships in a ship war (ex. bk//dk & Izu//ocha) like ship wars are so stupid and another reason why fandoms become less fun, I and many other people are in fandoms to consume fun content about the ship I like, not argue with other people about which ship is better ESPECIALLY when I enjoy both ships. And even when there is a ship I can't stand I would NEVER go into their tags and hate on it. That's just a dick move even if they do the same. Oh and like I'm guilty of some of this too but I realized that it wasn't what I wanted to be doing 😭. But like the main point was that people hate on rarepairs so much and it gets so tiring 😭 just let the few of us enjoy our ship in peace. Anyway bring back weird fandom culture.

I'm done now 😭🥰🫶

[chickenkurage]

KJABKHKABKJHABKJAKJBAJKAAJAKJABKJABAKJB CHAPTER 2 OF ATG!ALAN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

OKAY FIRST OF ALL WHAT??? PURPLE HAS ACTUALLY MET HIM BEFORE AS A CHILD??? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- NOW I'M CURIOUS IF PURPLE WILL REMEMBER HIM IF HE EVER SEES NOOGAI AGAIN- OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- BUT POOR PURPLE HE JUST WANTED SOME FRIENDS, FYM THEY WERE SCARED OF HIM BEING A FULL HEAD THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE HE'S STILL A KID YOU KIDS- GEEZ OH MY GOSH- AND AT LEAST WE GOT TO SEE SOME WORRY NAVY I GUESS- SECOND IS JUST LIVING THE LIFE OF THE OUTERNET RN WITH EVERYTYAND THE CITY, IT'S LITERALLY A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE FOR EVERYONE!!! (minus purple and king I think-) AND VICTIM IS ON A MISSION TO FIND NOOGAI AND CONFRONT HIM LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ALSO NGL BUT IT REALLY FEELS MORE DIFFERENT TO SEE YOU WRITE VICTIM MORE DIFFERENTLY HONESTLY- LIKE THE THREE HOLLOWHEADS BEING MORE CHILL LIKE YOU SAID UR I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO BE CHILL LIKE THAT GOSH DANG- ALSO VICTIM AND CHOSEN BURNING DOWN A STORE IS SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED AT THE END AS A CLIFFHANGER BUT OH MY GOSH IS THAT REALLY GONNA GRAB HIS ATTENTION??? WONDER WHERE HE EVEN IS DURING ALL THIS TIMEEE!!!

Also the post with his wife and children getting killed to death is something I didn't even expected at all oh my gosh.... SCREW THOSE THREE PPL THAT DID IT TO HIM- NOT THE FAMILY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- NO WONDER THE TAG SAYS FAMILY LOSS :(( THAT MAKES ME IMAGINE HE'LL BURST OUT AND ACCIDENTALLY REVEALS HIS FAMILY DEATH UNTIL HE REALIZED HE SAID IT-

POOR PURPLE INDEED :(( Like the kids didn't have to do that but then again, their parents probably taught them that Purple's kind is no good so they took it to heart and yeah, that.

I really can't comment on Spongey's writing with Victim since this time, I have NO IDEA what direction the story is gonna go but I'm also real excited to find out how ATG will progress :00 But then again, their life is very chill with Alex so of course they be chillin like that UwU There's no reason for Victim to not be chill when that revenge mindset isn't his... mindset??? XDD

And like Vic and Cho burning a store was something so unexpected to me like you could've done something else but I guess committing arson is the best decision amiritee?? YEAH >:DD LET'S GET THE ATTENTION OF THE SELF PROCLAIMED GOD WHO HELPED BUILT THIS CITY BY DESTROYING SOMETHING! HOPEFULLY THIS INTERACTION WILL BE SOMETHING POSITIVE

That family death slip up would have explained everything to them, huh? Imma be here also waiting how the others would react with this revelation hehe

I know you're expecting Spongey to be the one to answer you since you guys are basically like public chatmates??? Like it's not a word but that just how I see it ToT But as of right now writing this response, girlie here is busy fixating on minecraft and her focus CANNOT BE BROKEN And we can't just leave you on standby so here we are :PP - JM

[galaxystt]

your scar is so handsome, he deserves 4 worlds at once 🤲

(also thank you for inspiring me with your art, it made me want to draw like crazy 💖)

RAAHH thank you so much!!!!!! trying to channel all of the love I have for the Good Times every time I draw him, so I'm so glad that you like him wwaaaaa [and that's also super incredibly sweet for you to say oh my gosh? I'm getting very emotional lol /pos ;u; your art is also so lovely, I can't wait to see what else you create! <33]

and related; everyone is being very nice on here ouhgg, thank you to all of y'all's sweet comments in ur tags and dms!!! I haven't been as active the past few days bc of my dad's wedding this saturday so coming back and seeing everyone's kind words is making me teary eyed... tysm for the bottom of my heart for y'all's kindness! ((and the funny tags and messages-- some of the tags I've seen have literally made me wheeze laugh so many times LKJHAFJHf twitter could never /silly))