#Three Rancheros

[earnestlyeccentric]

Raymie Nightingale (Three Rancheros #1)

Author: Kate DiCamillo Rating: 3/5 All Raymie Clarke wants is to win the Little Miss Central Florida Tire pageant so that she can get her father’s attention back. She realises there are more important things in life. Spoilers ahead. Continue reading Raymie Nightingale (Three Rancheros #1)

[lokischocolatefountain]

Seven

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: Gen (kind of a crack fic if you ask me)

Summary: You and Javi discuss children

“How many?”

“Hmm?”

“You keep saying children plural. How many do you want?” You asked, flipping through the pages of the magazine idly. You weren’t even reading, just looking at pictures and reading a gossipy headline about some of the other actress.

“Hmmm seven?”

“Fuck no!”

“Why not?”

“Why not? WHY NOT?” You asked, horrified. “Javier, I’m a human being, not a baby making machine. You have a government job and I’m just a lab tech. We will never have 7 kids money unless you pocket some of the cocaine you seize. God, can you imagine if they all wanted to go to law school? Or medical school?”

“I wasn’t thinking that far ahead,” he said, taking the magazine from you and setting it aside. He pulled you into his lap, kissing you neck from behind and making you squirm. “I was focused on how hot you’ll look pregnant.”

“Of course you were. Horndog,” you scolded, pinching the arm that held you close. He hissed, but didn’t loosen his hold, only pulling you in closer.

“Can you blame me? With such a hot girlfriend, a man is bound to let his imagination run wild.”

“Shut up.”

“Five?” He asked, making you angrier.

“Are you trying to have a family or form a basketball team?”

He laughed before kissing her lips. “Four?” He bargained.

“Three is the absolute maximum for me.”

“Then three is good.”

“Yeah?” You asked, softer when you heard the sincerity in the reply that came with no hesitation.

“Mhmm.”

“But everything is up for debate after the first one,” you added, just in case. Pregnancy did not look fun and you didn’t want him holding you to this if you were too fucked up from the first pregnancy to try again. “I might hate being pregnant and never want to have another one again. We might have to be satisfied with one baby.”

“That’s good too, baby. I only want as many children as you’ll give me. Whether that’s one or three or seven.”

“Definitely not seven.” You smiled, adjusting yourself to sit back on the sofa with just your legs in his lap. “And no bargaining on gender either. If we have three daughters, you can’t ask for another one just to try for a son.”

“I would love three daughters. Why do you think I’ll ask you for a fourth one after that?”

“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging. “Men usually want sons. To teach them soccer or go fishing or whatever.”

“I’ll teach our three daughters soccer. Girls have legs. And I don’t care for fishing anyway. If they want to be with animals, they can take care of the ranch.”

“God, I planning my life out with a ranchero who wants a million kids!” You said, laughing.

“You’re just realizing that?”

“Oh god, I don’t know what’s worse— ranchero or DEA agent. Do you like chop wood shirtless or something? Cause I can’t handle that. I will end up having 7 kids if I saw that.”

“You’re mixing up rancheros with lumberjacks, baby. But I’ll learn to chop wood if you want. And I’ll teach our daughters to chop wood too. And how to shoot. And how to fix a car. Teach them plumbing and everything. So that they don’t have to call their boyfriends at midnight to ask them to fix their sink,” he said, making you giggle at the recollection of that night.

“Oh please, you weren’t complaining,” you scoffed, reminding him of the night he came over to fix your sink and ended up staying all night and all day in your bed.

“Exactly. No boy is slithering into my daughter’s bed like that. I won’t allow it.”

You scoffed. Oh you poor little fool… “You think my father didn’t teach me how to fix my sink, Javier? That I didn’t break it just to invite you over?”

“Fuck!”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. Let’s have three sons.”

.

.

.

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : DÍA DE LAS MADRES

A/N : This was supposed to go out Wednesday night for Hispanic mommy’s day.

Jack had woken up earlier than usual, luckily you and the kids were still sleeping upstairs. He was running around the house trying to get things set up for you.

You both always go above and beyond for one another and this year was no different. He had picked up your favorite flowers, your gift and of course made a quick stop at your favorite Mexican restaurant for some breakfast.

He was done setting up the posters the kids had made, when he heard little feet stomping around on the floor.

“Is that for mama?”

“Yeah, do you like it?”

Ezequiel nods, “Pretty.” He looks around and says, “I want give momma some.”

Jack smiles at that, he knew his little man would say that so he came prepared. “I have some for you in the kitchen so you can give them to mama.”

He smiles and runs towards the kitchen. “Breaky too?”

Jack follows behind him.“Yeah bud, I got everything.”

Next thing a grumpy Mia walks in the kitchen rubbing her eyes. “Mommy is awake, where are her gifts?”

Ez rolls his eyes “Chill.”

“You don’t even know what that means so you hush.” Mia glares at her brother.

“No tell me to hush, Mia mean.” Ez exclaims.

“Okay, no fighting. Today is your moms day and we need to be on our best behavior.” Jack tries to get them to calm down.

“What is going on?.” You come to a stop at the entrance of the kitchen, tying your robe tight around your waist.

Three heads turn to quickly look at you.

“NOTHING.” The three of them yell out.

“Hmm.” You smile. “I don’t believe you, but I’ll let it slide.”

Jack goes up to you, wraps his arms around you. “Feliz día de las madres baby.”

To your surprise, Jack pronounced it right and said it the right way without any problems. “Aww you’ve been practicing?”

He nods, “The kids are tough teachers.”

You both smile and share a kiss. “Thank you bubs.”

“Okay no more kissing.” Ez says. “Momma these for you.” He hands you a small bouquet of sunflowers.

“Aww thank you mi amorcito.” You bend down to kiss his cheek.

“Feliz madres día momma.”

“Ezequiel, how are you going to teach me how to say it but you mixed up the words?” Jack laughs.

“I’m her baby, so is okay.” Ezequiel smirks and hugs you, and gives you a kiss on the cheek as well.

“Babe, they were literally terrorizing me because I kept messing up the words, and he gets a pass?.” Jack shakes his head, acting hurt.

“Mommy.” Mia says entering the kitchen again. somehow she made a quick run for it without you noticing. “This for you.”

She hands you a Pandora bag, “Bubs?”

Jack shakes his head and has a confused look on him. “I didn’t buy that.”

“Oh?” You face Mia.

“Tío Clay took me, lo compré con mi dinero.” She shrugs.

You open up the box and find a beautiful gold bracelet. “Mia, this is beautiful”

“You like it?”

You nod and go to hug her. “I love it, thank you.”

“Alright kids, go wash your hands so we can have breakfast.” Jack tells them, and they both run to do just that.

“Babe, we have to return it. How did Clay let her spend money on this?”

“He just texted.” He looks at his phone and laughs. “I guess he didn’t really let her waste her money. Little shit charged it on my card.”

You both laugh at that.

“WE ARE STARVING GUYS.”

“Let’s go before we get put on timeout by our children.”

You and your family enjoy breakfast together, Jack had picked up all your favorites. From chilaquiles, to huevos rancheros and pan de Dulce with some coffee.

On the kitchen counter the kids had posters scattered around that they had hand painted themselves. They drew the entire family, even including Druski in it. They even made some arts and crafts made out of pasta and glued some pictures on it.

“I have one more surprise, well two but one of them is for tonight.” Jack shuts off the faucet after finishing washing the dishes.

“Babe, I told you no gifts this year.”

“It’s mommy’s day momma, you need gifts” Ez tells you excitedly. Your little boy really is the sweetest kid ever, both of your kids actually.

“Do you two know what the surprise is?”

They both nod and smile “YESS.”

“It’s so cool mom.” Mia tells you.

“Let’s go see your surprise?”

“What do you mean, go where?”

“Outside.” Jack takes your hand and starts leading you outside.

“Momma close eyes.” Ezequiel tells you.

“Eyes are closed mijo.”

“Five steps and then open your eyes baby.”

“Alright, you guys tell me when to open my eyes.”

“Open now mama.” Both Mia and Ez yell out.

Once you open your eyes, you’re in shock. “What?”

You quickly turn to question Jack, “Baby? What is this?”

“You said you wanted one, so I got it for you.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“Baby, I was totally joking.”

He shakes his head, “You were probably joking just a tiny bit, but I know for a fact you really meant it.”

You jump on him, wrapping your legs around his waist, arms around his neck. “Thank you baby, for this morning and for always including our kids.”

“Anything for you mamas.” He squeezes your waist and gives you a kiss.

“Momma come sit in it.”

You and Jack pull away, and he sets you down. “Go momma, the kids are calling.”

You smile and follow after the kids who are sitting inside the car admiring it.

“You know we’re returning it right?” You ask your husband.

“What? No we’re not.”

“Babe, this is too much.”

“Nothing is too much for you. Plus look at the kids.” He gestured his head to where Mia and Ez are seated at. “They love it and I know they’d want turns riding in the passenger side.”

“Then this just means my gift for Father’s Day is more than valid.” You smirk.

“Babe, you can’t one up me! That’s not fair.”

You sit down in the driver seat “I’ve been planning your Father’s Day gift since last year so deal with it.”

“Momma?”

“Yeah baby?” You face Ezequiel.

“We go zoom zoom pass the hoes?”

“ANGEL EZEQUIEL HARLOW.!” Jack yells.

“What?”

“That’s not a nice word baby, where did you hear that?” You ask him, trying not to laugh.

“Uncle Druski.”

“You’re not allowed to spend alone time with uncle Dru any more.” Jack tells him, shaking his head.

“This is Mother’s Day guys, can we not talk about how naughty Cheesy and Druski are?” Mia asks, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go cuddle and watch movies.”

“Mia you’re bossy.” Ezequiel rolls his eyes.

“Alright, let’s go back inside. We all need to shower and then we can lay in bed and watch movies all day.”

“Not all day, we still have dinner.” Jack tells you.

“Dinner? Baby you already did enough.”

“It’s something small, I promise.”

“There’s nothing small concerning you Jackman.”

“You got that right.” He turns to see if the kids are out of earshot. “This is your main gift tonight.” He places your hand on his cock.

“That’s my gift every night, don’t get it twisted now.” You smack his ass and run ahead to catch up with the kids and make it to the steps before Jack catches you and carries you inside.

The kids are laughing and admiring the entire thing.

Jack and the kids definitely outdid themselves, and you weren’t talking about the gifts. The thoughtfulness and the love you received from them made your Mother’s Day so special just like every year.

• • • • • • • • • •

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[tarjapearce]

A little debrief ~

I returned to my country yesterday. Trip ended up being so damn tiring and awful.

One would think that rest would ensue after waking up at 3 am for three days in a row to work and shit but no, my boss immediately headed up to work after we arrived to Honduras. Left at 7 pm (Holiday season, ugh) . I just came home and crashed. (Forgot my beer 😭)

Can't wait to be December 29th to leave that hellhole :')

But seeing you guys here, and a talk with a really good friend of mines ❤️, made all the anger gone. Thanks 😊✨.

Also Next week Updates:

-Crimson Crown

-Iridiscent

-Of Flowers and Hummingbirds

And maybe Bad Teachings ✨

I'm polishing some bits of the Ranchero Miguel fic, but I'll give a lil something 🤭 Along some other Miguel one shots I've got in mind c:

Hope you guys are having a good day. ❤️

[twsthc]

deuces entire life ♠️🦖

this is the first of three full life posts, voted on by the twsthc premium server in celebration of 90+ members!!! yay!!!

Mama spade and Deuce's dad meet

Mama spade is Mexican and Korean 🇲🇽🇰🇷

Deuce's dad is Korean 🇰🇷

╰ They were both ~16-17 around the time they met, Mama spade was a teen mom; part time parent, part time student, part time BADASS BITCH!!! (had help from Grandma Spade)

Deuce was conceived + born in Cincinnati 🇺🇸

(cinci is where the game spades was made...)

Baby Deuce (0-11 months) ♠️

His favorite food as a baby was rolled omelettes and leftover runny yolk from breakfast (usually huevos rancheros or whatnot)

DISCLAIMER: don't give your baby runny eggs

Because they wanted to save money 99.99% of Deuce's clothes throughout his life have been thrifted

╰He looked like this as a baby:

Toddler Deuce (3-5 years) 🦖

Daycare time yaaay :3

This is around the time they found out about his

Diagnosed with dyslexia as well

His pediatrician began to suspect dyscalculia and ADHD

(Spoiler alert: he also had dyscalculia and ADHD)

Kid Deuce (6-12 years) ♠️

Random story

╰His abuelita bought like 2 chickens that he was obsessed with, he named them 옥수수 (ogsusu, corn) and the other one was named Mayo. "Together," he would explain "they make an elote."

Long story short, Deuce was very devastated to find pollo con mole on the dinner table one day (RIP)

Anyway. Middle school is when he began to get frustrated with his learning disorders.

Throws general anxiety disorder at him and runs

Deuce Teen (13-Current) 🦖

You know the rest. Delinquency phase, regret, reform

And now his outfits are bigger and cooler

[burritowitch]

People at school be saying that they really hope they can get enough money to buy their dream cars when we're sixteen in a few years meanwhile if im autistic enough about cars for the next three years my dad will be happy enough that one of his kids likes car that he'll get me my dream car. 1957 ford ranchero in light blue that currently belongs to my dads friend keith you will be mine

[muutos]

𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙰𝙽'𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃 𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃 ━━━━━━━━━━━━

Comfort food(s): chuletas con arroz amarillo y gandules, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, ribs, poor man's huevos rancheros. Comfort drink(s): monster (lol, zero ultra), dr. pepper, coke zero. Comfort movie(s): house of 1000 corpses, quentin tarantino's catalogue, the matrix reloaded, the jungle book, lord of the rings, john wick, speed, bill & ted, tank girl, the resident evil movies, fight club, shark tale, the dark knight, zombieland, cinderella Comfort show(s): how i met your mother, star trek the original series, trailer park boys, the punisher, big brother us, hoarders, rocko's modern life, criminal minds, futurama Comfort clothing:my wu tang clan, or wu tang forever hoodie.. my 3x terzo (ghost) shirt, my snake skin pants, my canvas vest with a billion pockets, my grandpa's old denim jacket, my 13 year old red doc martens. Comfort song(s): mutter, spring, and rosenrot by rammstein (or all of rammstein). hypnotize by system of a down... probably all of disturbed's the sickness... uuuuuhhh, the x&y album by coldplay, probably... eminem in general, gwen stefani's let me reintroduce myself - i love myself today by bif naked Comfort book(s): fight club, the silver eyes, speak, ren & stimpy marvel comic run... Comfort game(s): until dawn, new super mario bros, new super mario bros wii, new super mario bros deluxe, smash brothers melee/brawl/ultimate, luigis mansion / dark moon/3, animal crossing (all of it), cuphead is getting up there, mario party superstars / 7 / and super mario party switch... the entire pokemon rpg catalogue, sims 2 double deluxe, fortnite, annnnnnnd five nights at freddy's THREE !!

Tagged by: no one i stole it. Tagging: you

[alrightbuckaroo]

tag ten people you want to get to know better!

thanks for tagging me @lightningboltreader, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @rosedavid, and @irispurpurea!

relationship status: single and after hearing one too many men speak on Podcasts™; thinking it might stay that way for a minute tbh!

song stuck in my head: playing dangerous by lana del rey! i've been subjecting myself to a "lana lockdown" as a way to get the next chapter of "come and take a walk on the wild side" written. (most of TK's pov is written so let's celebrate THAT lmao)

last song i listened to: fun by elli ingram! a song that became an accidental muse of my summer romance au. if you want an inkling of the vibe of the story, it's meant to sound like that.

last thing i googled: huevos rancheros

three favorite foods: pasta, pasta again, and huevos rancheros

dream trip: you know my pasta loving ass is going to find any way to get to italy.

anything i want right now: to have all of my stories magically written without actually having to write them please and thank you 🫶

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? brown bear; just love 'em.

would you rather have the power to read minds or fly?: read minds! i want to know why everyone is always staring at me when i go to the grocery store? do they all collectively know my ao3 history???

no pressure tagging: @heartstringsduet, @carlos-in-glasses, @catanisspicy, @sanjuwrites, @chaotictarlos, @reyesstrand, @strandnreyes, @bonheur-cafe, @basilsunrise, @wandering-night19 and here's an open tag!

[circusgoth-dotcom]

Bar Bully

Ship: Salem Nickle Newman x Anton Chigurh

Word Count: 1691

Summary: This might be a disjointed mess honestly, I just wanted to write a fic utilizing a mechanical bull. CWs for food mentions, violence, suggestive ending.

Tag List: @futurewife @canongf

I don’t care if it rains or freezes, ‘long as I got my plastic Jesus, sittin’ on the dashboard of my car...

The radio played at a respectable volume as a breeze whistled through the latest car Anton Chigurh and his partner, Salem Newman, had stolen; a black 1972 Ford Ranchero. While Chigurh usually preferred taking cars with no particularly distinguishing features, this Ford, unfortunately, had a busted front plate.

 Salem insisted it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, especially as they were currently driving in the middle of nowhere under the cover of the dark prairie sky, deep in the heart of Texas. In fact, they were on their way to their next hit, having been trailing the bounty for two days, now. They knew where their target was heading, the trouble was catching him in advance, for there was no telling where he’d disappear to after his proposed final destination.

“Anton, can I see your watch?” Salem suddenly prompted, sitting up straight in his seat. Anton silently removed his hand from the wheel and offered his large wrist to his partner, keeping his eyes on the road as they examined the time. “Baby, you don’t think there’s somethin’ open at this hour, do you?”

Anton arched an eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“I’m starving. We skipped dinner, remember?”

Anton returned his hand to the wheel. “We didn’t skip anything, we don’t have much of a routine, Salem.”

“Well, you know what I meant.” He folded his arms, “honestly, I don’t know how you’ve trained yourself like this. You’re like a camel.”

The smallest of smirks teased Anton’s features. “I suppose we could find something, but don’t get your hopes up. You can buy something from the vending machine if we reach a motel before then.”

“Oh, thank you for giving me permission to do that much,” Salem spoke sarcastically before chuckling and settling back into the passenger seat, looking up at the pitch-black sky, dotted with gleaming stars. Anton responded with the quietest of grunts, now actively keeping his gaze peeled for signs indicating places where the two of them could find sustenance.

Two miles passed before a sign appeared at the side of the road, advertising an “open late” honky-tonk bar. Taking it as an indication, Anton made his way to the appropriate exit.

“There is a God,” Salem quipped as they pulled into the parking lot of Tennessee Rose’s BBQ.

“They should be open for about four more hours,” Anton noted as they exited the Ford and entered the restaurant, pushing his new stetson lower on his head in an attempt to conceal his identity. “Let’s make it fast, Salem.”

“As if it’s going to take me four hours to eat some bar food. Anton, you’re buggin’ out, I really think you ought to sleep in tomorrow.” Salem squeezed his partner’s arm in concern before leading the way to the bar. He took a seat and happily ordered while Anton remained standing, glancing around the restaurant. It was like any other dive bar in Texas, with sticky floors and tacky decoration; its one unique offering was a mechanical bull ride, situated at the opposite end of the room. Party lights danced on its faux hide, the absence of a rider giving the device an unintentionally eerie atmosphere. There were three other customers, two at the bar and one situated in a booth, chuffing away on a cigar.

“It’s going to be a minute,” Salem announced to Anton, turning around on his stool and observing the scene for himself. As he grazed over the mechanical bull, his eyes lit up slightly. “Anton, can I have your wallet?”

Anton fixed his partner with a hard stare but ultimately gave it up. Hopping off the stool, Salem made a beeline for the hazardous entertainment, only to knock shoulders with a fourth customer coming out of the restroom.

“Hey, watch it!”

“Sorry, I didn’t see you in my peripheral,” Salem shrugged, rubbing his arm slightly. The man rolled his eyes in annoyance, then paused, seemingly captured by Salem’s appearance.

“Do I know you…?”

They pursed their lips and folded their arms. “I get around. Maybe we’ve crossed paths.”

“You got a name, partner?”

Salem glanced toward Anton. While most would assume he was simply leaning against the bar and waiting, Salem knew he was intently watching this interaction go down. “Strictly for those I do business with, I do. Now, if you’d excuse me, I’d like to get a little fun in before my meal’s served up.”

They resumed their path, opening Anton’s thick wallet and handing the manager of the machine five dollars before eagerly entering the pen. The customer watched him climb onto the bull, then joined the man with the cigar in the booth. Saddling up, Salem looked across the bar at Anton and grinned before waving playfully and blowing him a kiss.

“Hold on tight,” the operator instructed before flicking a switch. The bull began to rock slowly and Salem tensed his thighs against its sides, keeping low to the bull’s back as the speed increased. He was determined to get his money’s worth and expertly timed his movements with the flow of the machine, concentrating so hard on keeping on the metal animal that he became practically completely unaware of his surroundings.

BANG-BANG-BANG!

“Holy shit!” Salem pressed his whole body against the bull as it was accidentally set to max speed. The operator had been shot twice, body slumping against the control panel, and the third bullet had just whizzed over Salem’s head. The bartender and other patrons had collapsed in an effort to not be the next victim, but Anton and the two men in the booth remained standing; the one that had bumped into Salem was the one who had fired the shots. The was momentarily bar filled with the sounds of a shoot-out before silence fell once more.

“You’re going to have to jump off!” Anton shouted over the whirring of the bull.

“You mean to tell me there’s no emergency shut off on this damn thing?!” Salem yelled back.

“The key’s jammed, damn it!”

With a groan, Salem threw himself off of the machine and rolled toward the edge of the pen, pulling himself over it and examining what had happened. The adversaries lay slumped against the booth seating, bleeding from deep holes in their arms and torsos, while Anton remained unscathed, his pistol smoking in his hand.

“You brought that in??” Salem asked, eying the weapon and suddenly feeling very naked without his own. “Who are these creeps?”

“Rival hitmen.” Anton stalked forward, nudging the initial shooter with his boot. The man was barely clinging to life. “Who do you work for?”

“I. Ain’t. Tellin’. You. Shit,” the man gargled, “Chigurh.”

Anton sighed in annoyance. He wanted to ask why he shot at Salem first, but what was the point? He handed the gun to his partner. “You want to do the honours?”

“Gladly.” Salem pressed the barrel between the man’s eyebrows. “Fuckin’ prick.” As he pulled the trigger, Anton had already begun to make his way out of the bar to retrieve his bolt stunner. When he returned, the other two patrons and the bartender had risen to their feet, shaking and disturbed.

“I want you all to line up,” Anton instructed. “The three of you are going to each have a chance to flip a coin. This will be the most meaningful act in your entire life.”

When they didn’t move, Salem clapped his hands loudly. “You heard my partner, line up.”

Hesitantly, the three men did as they were told. Salem produced a quarter from his pocket and stood in front of the first man, flipping it, catching it, and covering it on the back of his hand.

“Call it.”

The unlucky patron licked his lips anxiously. “H-heads.”

Salem removed his hand. Heads. “Lucky man. You’re free to go.”

“And we trust you’ll have the sense not to tell anyone about this, at least not more than is needed. Comprende?”

The patron nodded and swiftly exited. Salem stepped in front of the second man, repeating the process.

“Call it,” Anton echoed.

“Heads,” the patron spat out, unable to look either of them in the eye.

Salem uncovered the coin. Tails. Salem turned away as Anton brought the nozzle of the stunner up to the man’s head. He heard a whimper of fear, a hiss, and the thud of the body on the dirty floor.

“That leaves you, bartender,” Salem spoke coolly. “Which sucks, because I haven’t gotten my food yet.”

“Would you just hang on until we get to the hotel?” Anton chided. “Darlin’, you know absolutely nothing’s going to be open now.”

“Yeah, alright.” He flipped the coin.

“Call it, sir, and we’ll be out of your hair.”

The bartender’s eyes flashed between them. “I-I won’t…”

“You have to. Life’s full of choices. Call it.”

“Kill me now, then, that’s my choice, if I can’t get you to leave.”

“That’s not how this works,” Salem piped up. “We don’t take prisoners, mister.” A pause. “Call it or I’m gonna kick you in the balls, old man!”

The bartender flinched and Anton gave his partner a warning glance.

“Alright, alright--! Tails, then!”

And tails it was. A great exhale of relief left the bartender as he sunk to his knees.

“Goodnight, sir.” Anton twitched the brim of his hat, picked up the air pressure tank, and led Salem back into the parking lot.

“This sucked. Why did we pull over??” Salem asked rhetorically as he slid back into the Ford, opening the glove compartment and grabbing a pack of baby wipes in an attempt to wipe off the few flecks of blood that had gotten on him in the thrall. “Jesus Christ I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.”

“And not even for a good reason.” Anton retorted, starting up the vehicle. Salem’s face burned.

“You jealous, Foghorn?~”

“Are you offering to ‘drive?’” Anton cupped his partner’s chin with his fingers, widening his seated stance slightly, his other hand resting on his belt.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Oh, I’m not trying to.”

“... Fuck.”

[wheelsgoroundincircles]

Packard Patricia pickup

Chris Coleman

Former Test Driver & Mechanic at Automotive Industry (2007–2008

What were the original reasons for Chevrolet coming out with the El Camino?

The El Camino, and other similar vehicles, like the Ford Ranchero, Subaru BRAT, Dodge Rampage and others, were designed to offer car-like comfort, performance and convenience, with the cargo capability of a light truck. Three of the forerunners to this were the Packard Patrician pickup, the Chevrolet Cameo and the Dodge Sweptline pickups.

1957 Dodge Sweptline with tailfins

Chevrolet Cameo Fleetside

The El Camino was based on the full-sized Impala originally, and was enormous. The low ground clearance and hefty weight made it a poor choice as a pickup. Most owners purchased them for styling reasons, especially with the cat eye taillights and horizontal tail fins.

1959 Chevrolet El Camino

Later, Chevrolet downsized the El Camino and based it on the Chevelle/Malibu, where it remained until it was discontinued.

1968 El Camino SS

With nothing in the rear, other than an empty bed, it was difficult to make it competitive as a muscle car, since the weight distribution was heavily biased towards the front.

Also, the bed used curved sheet metal in many places, to accommodate the rounded body panels, and this wasn’t a good fit with common pickup cargo, like plywood, hay bales and crates.

With the passenger compartment realistically holding two people, it was worthless as a family car, while a station wagon version of the Chevelle would be perfect. These things made it an odd fit with a very limited customer base.

Holden Ute, from Australia

Paradoxically, in Australia, cars like these, called Utes (short for utility) were and are extremely popular. Australia has a more rural environment and remote ranches and homes, which make this type of vehicle perfect for them. However in a more suburban setting, like the U.S., the El Camino was always an odd choice.

1972 Ford Ranchero - Based on the Torino

Dodge Rampage

Dodge Rampage, built on the K-car platform

Subaru Baja

Today, no one makes a ute for the American market, but that doesn’t mean these may not resurface from time to time. As kids grow up and nests are emptied, we may once again see a demand for the ubiquitous El Camino, Ford Ranchero and others.

[just-about-nothing]

tagged by @shark-myths! thank you <3

relationship status: single & psyched about it!

favorite colors: purple and blue! altho i've really been jamming with forest green recently.

song stuck in my head: i somehow don't have a song stuck in my head right now, very cash money of me lol

last song i listened to: some jazz song the dj was playing (listening to public radio). he realized he screwed up the back announcing on air & so i have no clue what the name is.

three favorite foods: chile rellenos, saag paneer, and huevos rancheros!

last thing googled: good econ podcasts -- i think! i don't use google very much. but the answer seems to be the new book economics one; it looks like there's a broad variety of economic thinking + it's recent economic thought, both of which are nice. there was also a marxist podcast i utterly forgot the name of lol.

dream trip: i really want to go to berlin so badly! i'd also love to go back to oxford & london but at this point, i'd be happier living there over visiting. ah! and i very much want to go to los angeles -- which is a much more doable trip than european jaunts

anything i want right now: i want my laptop fixed & to get into law school! please let me into law school ;-;

tagging: @an-odd-idea, @empiria-caterima, @hummerous, @purplethespian, & @esoomris!

[blackcat2016]

tag 9 people to get to know better

thank you @they-call-me-georgia!

Last song: Trollabundin by Eivor

Currently watching: I'm really not a TV watcher, but if something were to be on it'd likely be the Golden Girls or like the Great British Bakeoff

Three ships: uuugghhh... uhm... (legit never seen the show BUT) Regina/Emma (OUAT), Gaby/Pierrette (8 Femmes), Miranda/Andrea (DWP)

Favorite color: purple

Currently consuming: nothing atm, but earlier huevos rancheros (argentinian style)

First ship: oh dear... uhm... probably Janeway/Chakotay

Relationship status: thruple. if that's the fucking term, idk. poly-monogamous relationship I guess

tagging (only if you wanna!): @lustrouswhite @smile-at-the-stars @escapades-to-rivendell @foxdimitrescu @vampiric-touch @atrophytohell

[moltara]

VACATION FOOD MASTERPOST!

i realized i never posted ANY of the food pics i took so here they are with bonus director's commentary

fried chicken sangwich (not pictured: tasty ranchero sauce i got with it)

rita's gelati! (mango italian ice w/ vanilla custard)

beef and vegetable soup in a tomato broth <3 super yummy

sweet chili wings at a fancy golf club my cousin's bf is a member of

also they included these expensive luxardo cherries in my shirley temples. i ate Three of them.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

⭐

((Send in an ask with a star emoji and/or a fic/ficlet title and I'll give you some commentary on it :O!!))

A fun lil fact about Sunny Side Up: I was trying vv hard to give lil Lup Hints throughout the fic without being super duper obvious. Some of them are vv,,, grasping at straws, but it was fun nonetheless sldkfsd Most ppl have figured out this line-

“For you?” Tía asked. “You mean I have to share these three helpings of huevos rancheros instead of eating them all by myself?”

-bc obviously, Taako and his Tía are only two ppl. But here are some more!!

When they weren’t cooking or practicing magic, Tía would sit with him and teach him how to wind up her hair in intricate styles

As someone who hc's Taako with (pretty) short hair, this line was also a reference to Lup. Namely, because I imagine Lup would have liked to grow her hair out, but neither of them had anywhere to learn how to put it up beside a regular ponytail.

The worst part was just that he was alone.

Obviously, all mentions of Taako being alone is a somewhat indirect references to Lup, but this is one of the first major ones that pop up. And this one, too, ofc-

Taako needed someone on his side. Fame might be all he ever wanted, but it was isolating all the same. Now, more than ever before.

I think a Lot about if Lup had actually been able to be with Taako during the redaction and how that would change him/how he acts. I always try to make it very obvious that Taako is yearning for something, but he cannot physically know what. Having a bodyguard is a smart move, but I don't think Taako would have ever considered it if he hadn't felt so alone.

The "now, more than ever before" is a very direct reference to the redaction, because before, even in his fake memories, there was/always will be a sense of... not complete loneliness. Because Lucretia can erase Lup, and take her out of the memories, but she can't change how Taako feels in those memories. It only changes how he looks back on them.

Before Sazed, it was the first time Taako had truly ever been alone.

He had almost forgotten how awful it was out on the road.

This one, also, is a very indirect reference to Lup, for the same reasons as above. It wasn't that bad before because it wasn't like that before.

I think that's all :O there's more in the subtext, I'm sure, but all of these are at least intentional sdlfsfd

[deputyash]

💤🥞🪤 for Dove and 💐🎁☁️ for Evie? :)

Thanks for sending some in! These were great questions! :D

- Dove Ash - 

💤 SLEEPING - Do they fall asleep easily? What helps them sleep?

Pre-Reaping Dove can usually sleep fairly easily as long as she isn’t too stressed/worried about something, but Reaping Dove (and really stressed Dove) has a much harder time sleeping. Having her partner in the same bed with her will calm her and help her sleep. She loves being close to them and having their arms wrapped around her. She loves feeling safe in their embrace (and also keeping them safe too). 

When she’s alone and can’t sleep, I can imagine her going and sitting outside for a bit to get some fresh air and maybe drinking something warm like tea. She may also listen to some music before hopefully getting tired and trying to sleep again. 

🥞 PANCAKE - What is their comfort breakfast?

Ooh good one! I think her number one favorite is Texas-Style breakfast tacos. There’s nothing better than some egg, bacon, cheese breakfast tacos with salsa or hot sauce. She can eat those everyday. Some very close runners up include Texas-Style kolaches, pancakes, huevos rancheros, and biscuits & gravy.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - What will always lure them into certain danger? A loved one in danger? A promise of something they are always searching for?

Oh definitely a loved one in danger. She is far more inclined to be reckless when it comes to saving someone important to her. She will still try to be careful but when it reaches a breaking point, she’ll risk it all.

- Evie Rivera - 

💐 BOUQUET - Create a bouquet for them! What do those flowers mean? Are any of the flowers their particular favorite?

I will choose red roses, dahlias, gladiolus, purple carnations, and petunias!

Red roses represent both love and anger which is very fitting for Evie. They’re also her favorite flowers. She’ll sometimes wear them in her hair. And while it’s not exactly the same type of rose, there’s the association of roses with Our Lady of Guadelupe, who is a significant saint in Mexican culture. 

Dahlias are also a symbol of Mexico and they represent strength, which is also very relevant to Evie. As a bonus, apparently black/burgundy dahlias mean betrayal and sadness which is also a big part of Evie’s story. 

Gladiolus also means strength, so again it is representing the strength it took for Evie to make it through her hardships and become the leader she is. 

Speaking of leadership, purple carnations represent leadership. Evie took on the values that her father figure taught her and became a leader for those who also have faced unjust hardship.

Lastly, petunias represent dual emotions like roses and dahlias. They mean spite, resentment, and anger, but also hope, calmness, and healing. Evie hates the man who killed her father and who continues to exploit those less fortunate. Her ultimate goal is to get her revenge. Through this journey she seeks hope and healing by finally ending the reign of terror. 

*Images from Google

🎁 PRESENT - What types of presents would they be most happy to receive? Are they good at gift giving?

There’s three types of things that I think she would be happy to receive as a gift: anything handmade or handcrafted, a nice hot meal, and a nice revolver (especially if it has intricate detailing).

I think Evie would be good at gift giving. She already provides and looks over her gang, so I imagine she’d want to treat them when she can, especially after a successful job. She also really gets to know her gang since they’re practically family, so she is attentive when someone needs or wants something. She’ll remember and give it as a gift if she can. 

☁️ CLOUD - A soft headcanon

When Evie was young and her father figure, Mateo, was still alive, they used to have a daily morning routine that was also bonding time for them. They’d wake up and go work in the garden and check on the animals (and collect any eggs from the chickens). Then they’d go inside and cook their breakfast using all of the fresh ingredients they collected before sitting outside and enjoying the rest of the morning. It was always so peaceful and was one of Evie’s favorite things to do.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 2: I BATTLE THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD

Just because I'm taking the whole entire month of September and the majority of October off, here's the first chapter in honor of Will's birthday! I do still promise regular updates will resume on Halloween day and then proceed every Monday!

PJOPJOPJO

Alex came in the next day with a bright pink jacket tied around his shoulders in a very classic posh way, wearing a matching polo and green slacks with accompanying colors on his loafers, while sporting rose tinted sunglasses upon his head, at the bottom of the ocean. All of his green hair was swept to one side, and Magnus's heart skipped a beat, his toast falling into his lap jelly first to splat on his pants. Alex would be the most sophisticated guy on the golf course and still somehow make it look like the most useless sport in that getup.

"It's he/ him pronouns," Alex announced as he casually walked to his seat like he was ordering his plate of huevos rancheros for breakfast.

The book had been in the seat beside Magnus, like anybody was insane enough to think of taking that seat from Alex. The plain black somehow accentuated the look when he picked it up. He brushed his hand over the blue four on the spine with hunger to see what was so dark about this one.

"Um, it's my turn to read," Magnus said in a daze, and it was a good thing he'd managed that before Alex looked at him because then he lost the ability to speak. Hopefully it was temporary.

"Well hurry up and eat then," he dropped the book at his feat and dug into his own food, "or I'll happily read twice."

Magnus couldn't figure out why that was a bad thing for a moment, and yet his breakfast vanished faster than Percy's. He pretended the others were laughing at the chapter title and not his idiotic ass as things picked right back up as usual with these strange book descriptions.

Thalia sighed one last time and looked at Jason and the array of books that might contain his past. She really wanted to skip this one, ie delay it permanently by hearing of some of her little brother's times. She was obviously the only one though as everybody turned attention to Magnus for the next part. "I really hope that's not a euphemism for something Percy, or Annabeth's going to be very upset with you," Thalia rolled her eyes.

"I'm just hoping this isn't some elaborate pyramid scheme," Jason grinned, "Percy has enough trouble already."

"Boooo!" Percy called at him, even giving a thumbs down. "Man, that was the worst one yet!"

"Deadly pompoms! I knew those things were no good!" Alex nearly lost half his eggs he was laughing so hard.

Will made a deep noise of contentment, almost a purr to be hearing so much laughter first thing in the morning.

The last thing I wanted to do on my summer break was blow up another school.

"And here I thought that was number three on your list, at minimum," Jason snorted.

"Percy, there's not a world record for that, nobody's competing with you for this," Magnus agreed with a chuckle, but it was sort of depressing too. The school system was hard enough without this guy blowing literal budget holes in the teacher's planning.

"It has to happen though, remember?" Percy gave them a very sardonic brow. "If it doesn't happen, the world will end early! I still have another year of life!"

"And it won't be a pretty one," Thalia muttered. The Labyrinth was one of the quests Annabeth talked about least. Whatever had happened this summer, she was almost as ill prepared as Percy.

But there I was Monday morning, the first week of June, sitting in my mom's car in front of Goode High School on East 81st.

Goode was this big brownstone building overlooking the East River. A bunch of BMWs and Lincoln Town Cars were parked out front.

"I still don't speak car," Nico finally spoke up, hesitantly. A part of him still expected everyone to turn and yell at the sight of him.

Percy gave him the strangest, most awkward smile yet, like he had no idea how to even look at him after yesterday.

Then Percy gave himself a sharp mental smack. Nico and his maybe, hopefully not crush that he'd said was gone was ten times less strange to deal with than Alex being...Alex. So he answered almost as casually as ever, "they're 'middle class' cars," he used air quotes and everything. "Not some swanky private school with Maserati's and Porsche's, and not broken windows and running on faith rather than fume cars."

"Ah," Nico nodded his thanks, and sat back in his seat. His arms were crossed low over his stomach, hands in each sleeve like a monk today like he was trying to be as invisible as possible.

But he wasn't hiding behind the couch today to listen in like he'd originally intended. He'd actually spoken at all, which was more than Will had thought he'd do. The only backfiring going on was he'd either missed breakfast or eaten alone, and Will filed that away for when lunch came up.

Thalia and Will exchanged a pitiful look and kind of hoped Percy pulling mad gymnastic abilities or something would kick in soon, for once. Adrenaline distracting Percy from killing them all would be better than this awkward stiltedness.

Staring up at the fancy stone archway, I wondered how long it would take me to get kicked out of this place.

"What's your record?" Magnus asked into the slightly awkward silence that he'd tried to keep reading through.

"Two weeks," Percy sighed. "In my defense, I really thought that teacher's cat was a demon, and the milk didn't hurt it!"

"Well now you get a chance to do one better, be expelled before you even attend," Alex said plenty cheerfully for all of them.

"Just relax." My mom didn't sound relaxed.

"Do as I say, not as I do," Thalia nodded sagely.

"Okay mom," Percy rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt, "thanks I really needed that translation."

"Don't mock your mother Percy, she's a good woman," Jason laughed, but Magnus kept reading before that could escalate, these were not the kind of jokes he'd ever find funny.

"It's only an orientation tour. And remember, dear, this is Paul's school.

"Ah, nepotism used for good, that's a new one," Alex said in surprise.

"It was a public school, it's not like he bribed anyone to let me in," but Percy didn't sound that confident. If a Blowfish library wing popped up, he didn't think he could blame the Mist.

So try not to...you know."

"Destroy it?"

"Yes."

"All relationships go through their own trials," Thalia said with barely suppressed mirth. "This is just a very great, early indicator if Paul's going to last in this family." She knew he did, but that didn't mean she couldn't laugh about it.

"Better than the usual cheating and lying bullshit adults deal with I guess," Percy grudgingly agreed.

Paul Blofis, my mom's boyfriend, was standing out front, greeting future ninth graders as they came up the steps. With his salt-and-pepper hair, denim clothes, and leather jacket, he reminded me of a TV actor, but he was just an English teacher. He'd managed to convince Goode High School to accept me for ninth grade, despite the fact that I'd gotten kicked out of every school I'd ever attended. I'd tried to warn him it wasn't a good idea, but he wouldn't listen.

"Not a great teacher then," Will looked very disappointed. "He should take his students observations into account, especially these budding adults."

"He actually loves to tell this story about his favorite essay that helped one guy into a great college he never would have applied for," Percy defended, and the ready response surprised him. He paused with a smile at all the memories over the winter and summer of how often Paul had been over, how easily his mom continued to laugh, how Paul never talked down to him like a delinquent from day one. "I think he was just trying to show off he could, though it wasn't nearly as impressive than if he'd gotten me a C in class," he finished with a chuckle Chiron still had the guy beat out on one point.

I looked at my mom. "You haven't told him the truth about me, have you?"

"How would that conversation even go?" The bitterness in Alex's voice could be missed by no one, clearly that wasn't a happy story.

"Historically, not well," Percy agreed in a quiet, gentle voice. He knew the others all envied him for his awesome mom, but that had come hand in hand with Gabe through the majority of his life. Gabe might not have known the truth, but he'd been a part of it.

She tapped her fingers nervously on the wheel. She was dressed up for a job interview—her best blue dress and high-heeled shoes.

"For what?" Will asked. The general question still held a hint of intrigue coming from him, the way he always talked to everybody. Like it was a vitally important question he couldn't wait to know the answer of, Nico smiled.

Percy didn't seem to hear that part, he just glanced at Will with his own proud smile and said, "publishing company. She was done with the first draft of her book, but wanted to check out some of the footsteps before she, um, buffered it? Or maybe buffed it? I'll be honest, I'm not sure what she meant," he finished sheepishly, addressing everybody in general.

It didn't seem to bother Will, and Nico marked that for future reference, trying to scratch off a list in his head of defining what he might have a crush on Percy about, and what he just admired about him. In a group, it was probably weird to expect someone's soul attention.

"I thought we should wait," she admitted.

"So we don't scare him away."

"You should definitely build up to something like that," Magnus agreed as if totally off hand. "Try jumping out of the closet at him a few times, maybe a few toned down side quests like trying to get past a murderous dog with a rubber ball, just to see how he takes to it."

"I should start with the one about how Grover got his mango chutney recipe," Percy mock agreed. "Crashing a wedding and piranha sheep are surely the best way to explain, this," he finished with a vague wave around being trapped at the bottom of the ocean.

"I'm sure orientation will be fine, Percy, It's only one morning."

"Great," I mumbled. "I can get expelled before I start the school year."

Alex laughed raucously Percy said the same thing he did, and he grinned along with him and even offered a high five which he happily air slapped.

"Think positive.

"The country ran out of schools and the universe can stop mocking me for this?" Percy sighed.

"There's the bright side," Thalia snorted.

Jason wasn't so convinced that every school would ban him for his record though. He started rubbing thoughtfully at his tattoo, but as always no real memory would connect to that random thought.

Tomorrow you're off to camp! After orientation, you've got your date—"

"It's not a date!" I protested. "It's just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!"

Percy blushed the color of Rachel's hair, but Magnus readjusted the book to hide his slight hesitation over his continuing wasn't snickers like the others. He, stupidly, wanted to offer, something. Some dumb warning of a 'you better treat her like a lady,' when it was obvious Percy was head over heels in love with her from the beginning.

Uncle Fredrick was obviously kind of useless in that department though, and Chiron seemed the next closest thing and obviously had higher concerns. He just thought his cousin should have some family show support, but then, she probably forgot he'd existed already and this was just as dumb as it could be of him.

"She's coming all the way from camp to meet you."

"It didn't work out with Fredrick again?" The harshness in Magnus's voice was doubled from his own thoughts, and obvious by dropping the familial title.

"She stayed the rest of the school semester with him out there," Percy said cautiously. "She sent me an Iris message every few weeks about the goings on, they were being a lot more understanding when there was a monster attack, and it weirdly didn't happen as much as she thought it would. You know, she just missed Camp and came back earlier, she still called it her home." He finished with a carefree smile.

Will kept the comment to himself she'd showed up at Camp twice. One time had only been through word of mouth, Clarisse had made a passing comment about her being back while getting her ankle wrapped. Judging by her tone, she'd been expecting to find Annabeth in the medical cabin, though Will hadn't seen her. The second he'd only passed her leaving her cabin with a book bag and going up the hill to leave again. Her passing in and out of her home was not exactly his business to share.

Magnus gave a hesitant nod, but Jason wasn't so ready to let it go as he pondered over that. He'd originally balked at the idea of San Francisco being a dangerous place. Nico had said he found another camp in California he hadn't shared with anyone else. The obvious dots being connected only gave him the usual headache, but he still hoped that somehow, someway, he might have made Annabeth's time with her mortal family just the slightest bit easier no matter how foolish it probably was.

"Well, yeah."

"You're going to the movies."

"Yeah."

"Just the two of you."

"Mom!"

She held up her hands in surrender, but I could tell she was trying hard not to smile.

"She must be really nervous about that job interview," Thalia really was trying her hardest not to snicker. "You're lucky she didn't somehow slip into another baby story about you next." She was doing a terrible job by the end.

"Stories you still owe us by the way," Alex only teased, he knew Percy didn't owe them any of this and could leave to read these alone whenever he wanted.

He showed he wasn't going to be doing anything like that when he only groaned loudly and covered his ears to mock ignore them instead until Magnus kept going.

"You'd better get inside, dear. I'll see you tonight."

I was about to get out of the car when I looked over the steps of the school.

Paul Blofis was greeting a girl with frizzy red hair. She wore a maroon Tshirt and ratty jeans decorated with marker drawings. When she turned, I caught a glimpse of her face, and the hairs on my arms stood straight up.

"No," Alex began in awe.

"Way," Magnus barely finished since his mouth was hanging open quite a bit.

"I mean, we knew you'd have to run into her again eventually," Jason agreed. "Nearly killing her on the Hoover Dam couldn't have been the only time," she'd been perfectly comfortable in here beside Percy and still gave him the creeps with the way she'd watched him and pegged him an outsider. "I just expected her to pop up at Camp."

"Yeah, um, small world," Percy agreed with all the blurry confidence he could.

"Percy?" my mom asked. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," I stammered.

"Very believable," Alex snorted. "I think you need to start taking some acting lessons from Rachel."

"I'll get right on that when I'm done freaking out about her existing," Percy sighed.

"Does the school have a side entrance?"

"Down the block on the right. Why?"

"I'll see you later."

My mom started to say something, but I got out of the car and ran, hoping the redheaded girl wouldn't see me.

"And yet you're going into the exact same place she is," Jason pointed out in exasperation. "I don't get it, are you avoiding her or trying to get her alone to talk?"

"Avoidance, definitely," Percy was squirming in his seat like a burrito was about to be launched at his head. Annabeth and Grover were the only two who had ever overlapped with his normal life. Rachel just popping up like that set all of his instincts on edge like a monster was going to appear any second...wait. Gods, did he help defend Rachel from the cheerleading squad?! Agh, and there was the headache!

What was she doing here? Not even my luck could be this bad.

"Percy," Will said to him as if in fear he had a concussion for not remembering this. "Your luck is historically the worst."

"Exhibit A," Nico muttered, trapped at the bottom of the ocean with no memory.

Yeah, right. I was about to find out my luck could get a lot worse.

"I swear that should have just been the summary plastered on the back of these books," Percy groaned.

Sneaking into orientation didn't work out too well. Two cheerleaders in purple-and-white uniforms were standing at the side entrance, waiting to ambush freshmen.

"Were they smoking?" Jason asked with weirdly serious concern.

"Didn't smell anything," Percy shrugged. "The blonde one was kind of cute, but way to intense, she had that fake smile that gave me the creeps," Percy shrugged.

Thalia smacked him upside the head, hard, and called him an idiot, while looking at Jason in concern. Beryl had been a chain smoker, but she hoped he wasn't trying to connect plastic girls with the smell of cigarettes in general and he was just being an idiot too.

"Hi!" They smiled, which I figured was the first and last time any cheerleaders would be that friendly to me. One was blond with icy blue eyes.

The other was African American with dark curly hair like Medusa's (and believe me, I know what I'm talking about).

"Hmm, yes I suppose, but does this girl also make a mean burger?" Alex asked.

"And is she going to have a weird obsession with turning you into a statue," Magnus added uneasily. They hadn't gotten any repeat monsters yet aside from the gorgon coming back, so maybe this was how Medusa looked now and found a way to hide her gaze?

Both girls had their names stitched in cursive on their uniforms, but with my dyslexia, the words looked like meaningless spaghetti.

"Welcome to Goode," the blond girl said. "You are so going to love it."

But as she looked me up and down, her expression said something more like, Eww, who is this loser?

The other girl stepped uncomfortably close to me. I studied the stitching on her uniform and made out Kelli. She smelled like roses and something else I recognized from riding lessons at camp—the scent of freshly washed horses. It was a weird smell for a cheerleader. Maybe she owned a horse or something.

"In New York?" Will couldn't imagine the miles of acres from camp and where he'd grown up cramped around all those buildings.

"We have suburbs you know, it's not all Times Square," Percy shrugged.

"Or maybe her dad owns one of those cop horses, or maybe she can turn into a horse," Alex nodded along. "There's really just no guessing here."

Anyway, she stood so close I got the feeling she was going to try to push me down the steps. "What's your name, fish?"

"Fish?"

"That's actually a very fair question with a really interesting answer," Magnus grinned like Percy's was a mistake anyone could make. "Classification of what a fish is is so broad most scientists don't-"

Percy used just a tiny bit of his power, but enough he splashed Magnus in the face with just a few twitches of his finger. "Smart ass," Percy's laugh had them all grinning along.

Magnus brushed his damp hair aside and kept going while Will admired how easily Percy could fit in anywhere he wanted. He was positive Percy's internal thoughts of how he never fit in couldn't be too accurate of his time in mortal schools, he just never wanted to fit in there, considering it was the opposite at camp.

"Freshman."

"Uh, Percy."

The girls exchanged looks.

"Oh, Percy Jackson," the blond one said. "We've been waiting for you."

That sent a major Uh-oh chill down my back. They were blocking the entrance, smiling in a not-very-friendly way. My hand crept instinctively toward my pocket, where I kept my lethal ballpoint pen, Riptide.

"That is one of my favorite sentences," Alex snorted grandly.

"And I use it without mercy!" Percy pulled it out now and waved Riptide around like a writer on a mission.

Then another voice came from inside the building. "Percy?" It was Paul Blofis, somewhere down the hallway. I'd never been so glad to hear his voice.

The cheerleaders backed off.

Nobody had much more than halfhearted confidence these were just regular mean girls slinking off because a teacher was around. Maybe, if it wasn't for that blasted chapter title they could have fooled themselves for a while longer. Now they all just sat there waiting anxiously for Magnus to get to a half-time show that would probably end with confetti and death to a lot of innocent people.

I was so anxious to get past them I accidentally kneed Kelli in the thigh.

Clang.

Her leg made a hollow, metallic sound, like I'd just hit a flagpole.

"First the French guy, now prosthetic leg girl?" Thalia couldn't help but tease, "are you just out here fighting everybody with a disability Percy?"

"I have no problems throwing hands with you," Percy wagged the pen cap dangerously close to her nose.

"Besides, he's never tried to fight Chiron," Will easily slid in to disengage. "I'm just chalking it up to more of his bad luck."

Magnus quickly kept reading before that could escalate anyways.

"Ow," she muttered. "Watch it, fish."

I glanced down, but her leg looked like a regular old leg. I was too freaked out to ask questions. I dashed into the hall, the cheerleaders laughing behind me.

"There you are!" Paul told me. "Welcome to Goode!"

"Hey, Paul—uh, Mr. Blofis." I glanced back, but the weird cheerleaders had disappeared.

"Percy, you look like you've seen a ghost."

"I've done that too, and I'll take Bianca and Nico over those girls," Percy shivered.

"Um, thanks," Nico muttered in surprise, but then Percy winced and groaned, looking around in confusion, and Nico realized Percy wasn't literally talking about the time he'd talked to Bianca's ghost, but was making a morbid joke in general about them being children of Hades. His usual way of laughing off everything that Nico had always equally admired and been so conflicted about, because sometimes it made him come across as an idiot. He didn't know where to place that on his list.

"Yeah, uh—"

Paul clapped me on the back. "Listen, I know you're nervous, but don't worry. We get a lot of kids here with ADHD and dyslexia. The teachers know how to help."

I almost wanted to laugh. If only ADHD and dyslexia were my biggest worries. I mean, I knew Paul was trying to help, but if I told him the truth about me, he'd either think I was crazy or he'd run away screaming. Those cheerleaders, for instance. I had a bad feeling about them...

"Lots of people have bad feelings about cheerleaders," Alex agreed wisely. "Usually because they accuse you of stealing their phone and throw a bucket of piss at you after you got them expelled."

The book fell out of Magnus's hands while everyone felt the awkward silence, but Will got out first, "um, that was a little too specific Alex. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" He asked casually.

There was only a hint of blood lust in there, but just enough Magnus swiftly decided he heard nothing and nobody was going to get the chance to say otherwise.

Then I looked down the hall, and I remembered I had another problem.

The redheaded girl I'd seen on the front steps was just coming in the main entrance.

Don't notice me, I prayed.

She noticed me.

"Rachel is a very observant girl," Thalia rolled her eyes at him. "She'd pick you out if you were in the mascot costume."

Percy believed her, and it still kind of freaked him out. The mascot was a roadrunner too, and he still didn't think he'd escape this.

Her eyes widened.

"Where's the orientation?" I asked Paul.

"The gym. That way. But—"

"Bye."

"Percy?" he called, but I was already running.

"And you're worried Paul's going to run away from you guys," Nico said mildly, just a little more confidant than the first time.

"Wouldn't be fair of me to have him do all the work, here I am putting in effort too," Percy grinned back with an even shorter hesitation than last time.

I thought I'd lost her.

A bunch of kids were heading for the gym, and soon I was just one of three hundred fourteen-year-olds all crammed into the bleachers. A marching band played an out-of-tune fight song that sounded like somebody hitting a bag of cats with a metal baseball bat.

"I seriously worry about the neighborhood you grew up in," Jason said, with no joke.

Percy had no nice response for that. By the time he came downstairs all he usually found was blood.

Older kids, probably student council members, stood up front modeling the Goode school uniform

"Ugh, I'd get expelled just for getting out of wearing a uniform," Alex gagged.

"Rachel didn't make it look to bad," Magnus said to be fair. He'd trade the stupidest bowtie every day just for a chance at something that kind of routine, normal, mundane.

Alex must have heard the wistfulness in his voice, because his voice went just a hint gentler than usual. "Mm, I've seen worse."

and looking all, Hey, we're cool. Teachers milled around, smiling and shaking hands with students. The walls of the gym were plastered with big purple-and-white banners that said WELCOME FUTURE FRESHMEN, GOODE IS GOOD, WE'RE ALL FAMILY, and a bunch of other happy slogans that pretty much made me want to throw up.

"Glad it's not just me," Thalia raised a hand, the other pressed theatrically to her stomach.

None of the other freshmen looked thrilled to be here, either. I mean, coming to orientation in June, when school doesn't even start until September, is not cool. But at Goode, "We prepare to excel early!" At least that's what the brochure said.

"And we always do what the brochure says," Will nodded saintly.

"Gods, please never give Camp a brochure," Percy muttered, he was terrified what Mr. D would put in there.

The marching band stopped playing. A guy in a pinstripe suit came to the microphone and started talking, but the sound echoed around the gym so I had no idea what he was saying. He might've been gargling.

"His warm up I guess," Alex said, "most people just do the classic picturing underwear thing, but I never could figure out why that would make you less nervous. Naked people usually cause more stress."

"I can't even begin to imagine what would make you nervous to begin with," Jason admitted, "let alone what you would do. Probably rip someone's head off."

Alex considered for a moment laughing that off, but then in a rare moment of vulnerability, he glanced at the book, and said honestly, "being trapped."

At least Oceanus wasn't trying to take away his identity, but the mystery of why only his abilities seemed gone while among the Big Three's kids bothered him greatly.

The reality still hit them plenty they were trapped. Even if it wasn't unpleasant, that didn't make it great. They all just made it better for each other with laughter instead.

So Alex finished with a snarky remark true to form, "and look at you all, not a single headless person! Let alone nearly headless!"

Magnus snorted fantastically beside him just like always before he kept reading, so the others just let it pass with a light chuckle too.

Someone grabbed my shoulder, "What are you doing here?"

It was her: my redheaded nightmare.

"How often do you dream of her?" Thalia had tried for sisterly concern, but ended with to much laughter for it to hold.

"Oh gods," Percy buried his face in dread and decided he would have to personally put these books through a shredder and then burn the scraps if he wanted to live when all his memories were back.

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," I said.

Her jaw dropped like she couldn't believe I had the nerve to remember her name. "And you're Percy somebody.

"You told her your name was Percy Gotta-go," Jason easily recalled, "I can't believe she'd forget that, it's quite memorable."

"Not everybody always has a toilet on the brain Jason," Percy rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't have to if your life wasn't trash Percy," Jason smirked.

"Boys!" Will groaned. Magnus very quickly kept reading, and Thalia sighed in relief. They were all getting a little to comfortable with each other down here.

I didn't get your full name last December when you tried to kill me."

"Look, I wasn't—I didn't—What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, I guess. Orientation."

"You live in New York?"

"What, you thought I lived at the Hoover Dam?"

It had never occurred to me. Whenever I thought about her (and I'm not saying I thought about her; she just like crossed my mind from time to time, okay?),

"Yeah, okay Perce," Thalia was obviously about to engrave this passage in stone so that Annabeth and Rachel could laugh at him forever with it and he sighed as he knew there was nothing he could do to stop her.

I always figured she lived in the Hoover Dam area, since that's where I'd met her.

"A reasonable assumption," the eye roll Jason added to that didn't help Percy believe him even before he said, "considering you traveled there from New York!"

"Not everybody travels the country in a week on a magic train provided by a homeless God named Fred," Percy said back in exasperation. "Unless she's some weird, rich version of Annabeth who just sporadically wanted a tour there, it makes sense!"

The others were to busy snickering he'd still managed to bring up Annabeth during this to stop them for a second, but before Jason's chuckle could subside and he did manage Magnus loudly kept going without prompting this time or they'd never finish this one dam chapter.

We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting.

"That is definitely going to be the next poster for a romcom. Call it Hauling Ass," Alex paused to give a very suggestive look at Percy that made him squirm. "You're a construction worker building the historic monument, she's a southern bell dragged there by her father-"

"Dude!" Percy finally protested. "Write whatever the hell that's manifesting into on your own time! And leave me out of it!"

"I hope this guy's never introduced to fanfiction, his brain would rot," Magnus muttered, making Alex laugh harder than ever, which wasn't very encouraging to Percy. It took every ounce of self control for Alex to suppress the question if Sally ever mentioned that stuff, but when Magnus kept reading, he persevered. He could ask Sally on his own time anyways.

Some guy behind us whispered, "Hey, shut up. The cheerleaders are talking!"

"I bet that guy's one of their girlfriends," Thalia rolled her eyes. "Hope she gives him a thumbs up for sucking up."

"Hi, guys!" a girl bubbled into the microphone. It was the blonde I'd seen at the entrance. "My name is Tammi, and this is like, Kelli." Kelli did a cartwheel.

Will gave a little applause just for the girl/ maybe monster being able to do that, it looked hard when he watched others try.

Next to me, Rachel yelped like someone had stuck her with a pin. A few kids looked over and snickered,

"I swear it's a staple kids will laugh at anything in an auditorium," Nico muttered, the noise always carried and sounded mean no matter who was doing it.

"I don't laugh at everything," Will gave him a very exaggerated pouty frown that Nico fought hard not to grin back at. He lost that battle, and he couldn't say that about many fights.

but Rachel just stared at the cheerleaders in horror. Tammi didn't seem to notice the outburst. She started talking about all the great ways we could get involved during our freshman year.

"All the normal things a half-blood could want," Percy gave a mock yawn to show how much he'd listened to that. "Like volunteer work that looked good on college applications and where the study hall was. I didn't hear anything about where the fire extinguisher was."

"I'm surprised they don't have your name engraved on it just for being there," Thalia agreed.

"You'd have to pull an active miracle to get a college education at your rate," Jason muttered for himself, because he felt bad Percy probably was going to be denied that with his record.

"Run," Rachel told me. "Now."

"Why?"

Rachel didn't explain. She pushed her way to the edge of the bleachers, ignoring the frowning teachers and grumbling kids she was stepping on.

I hesitated.

"Why?"

 Percy winced as all six of them yelped that at once. Jason was already winding up for a rant as he began, "do you have any clue how useful that is? She can see through the Mist which you're repeatedly fooled by-"

"Paul," Percy's answer was sharp enough to stop him cold. He really hadn't gone into this trying to make the guy already disappointed in him and his mother look bad and everything that was about to happen because he couldn't have one normal day!

There was a beat of silence. "Sorry," Jason said.

"Yeah, it's fine," Percy sighed, letting it go as fast as it had happened.

Tammi was explaining how we were about to break into small groups and tour the school. Kelli caught my eye and gave me an amused smile, like she was waiting to see what I'd do. It would look bad if I left right now. Paul Blofis was down there with the rest of the teachers. He'd wonder what was wrong.

Then I thought about Rachel Elizabeth Dare, and the special ability she'd shown last winter at Hoover Dam. She'd been able to see a group of security guards who weren't guards at all, who weren't even human. My heart pounding, I got up and followed her out of the gym.

"I'm getting, follow her to the ends of the earth vibes already," Alex chuckled.

"Stop writing fanfiction about them," Magnus muttered to him, "Annabeth would not approve."

"I bet she'd get a laugh out of it," Alex insisted.

Percy was wincing and muttering uncomfortably though, and since they had no idea how she factored into Percy's life it was probably safer not to push his buttons about what they did get up to until all was said and done.

I found Rachel in the band room. She was hiding behind a bass drum in the percussion section.

"Are these monsters sensitive to noise?" Jason asked eagerly.

"Either that or it's a really good spot to grab lunch," Percy shrugged.

"Or the first place she found, you triangles," Thalia said in exasperation. "She's an untrained mortal!"

"Right," they both agreed sheepishly.

"Get over here!" she said. "Keep your head down!"

I felt pretty silly hiding behind a bunch of bongos, but I crouched down beside her.

"Obviously," Alex rolled his eyes. "Everybody knows you should hide in the brass section, that's why they're the ballsy ones." He concluded with a wink at Thalia, "and I mean that totally gender neutral."

"I'm sure they've never heard that joke before," Jason scoffed.

"Did they follow you?" Rachel asked.

"You mean the cheerleaders?"

She nodded nervously.

"I don't think so," I said. "What are they? What did you see?"

Her green eyes were bright with fear. She had a sprinkle of freckles on her face that reminded me of constellations. Her maroon T-shirt read HARVARD ART DEPT. "You...you wouldn't believe me."

Magnus had seen in person how much that could mess a person up. It still really bothered him he didn't know what to go back and do with this kind of information. Telling the homeless mortals who went on about metal angels they weren't crazy would only put a band aid on the grander problem.

"Oh, yeah, I would," I promised. "I know you can see through the Mist."

"The what?"

"The Mist. It's...well, it's like this veil that hides the way things really are. Some mortals are born with the ability to see through it. Like you."

She studied me carefully. "You did that at Hoover Dam. You called me a mortal. Like you're not."

"So she's always been that perceptive," Jason murmured in appreciation. Her gift truly was special, he wished he could pin down why he felt like he had a name or something attached to this odd power of perception and sight she had.

I felt like punching a bongo. What was I thinking? I could never explain. I shouldn't even try.

"Don't be so down on yourself Percy," Thalia frowned at him in surprise. "You're really not as stupid as we all like to say you are."

"Thanks Thals," Percy rolled his eyes and waved at Magnus.

"Hey," she grabbed his wrist, "I mean it."

He looked at her and saw she really was being serious. "Um, thank you," he was probably blushing just a bit. "I really didn't have a clue what I was doing though."

"Never stopped you from trying to do anything," she released his wrist with an eye roll of her own, resisting the urge to try and smack him in the face with his own hand. No way would she be fast enough to do that in the water.

Percy grinned at her. Coming from anyone else, even Annabeth, he'd have thought they were lying just to make him feel better. Thalia knew exactly how he felt, because she tended to have the same self-doubts.

"Tell me," she begged. "You know what it means. All these horrible things I see?"

"Look, this is going to sound weird. Do you know anything about Greek myths?"

"Like...the Minotaur and the Hydra?"

"Yeah, just try not to say those names when I'm around, okay?"

"And the Furies," she said, warming up. "And the Sirens, and—"

"Okay!" I looked around the band hall, sure that Rachel was going to make a bunch of bloodthirsty nasties pop out of the walls;

"We have yet to see that actually," Alex had the audacity to eye the walls in betrayal. "I'm starting to think Chiron and Grover lied to you about that, it's only ever caused Zeus to make thunder at ominous moments."

"Why push my luck?" Percy asked in exhaustion.

but we were still alone. Down the hallway, I heard a mob of kids coming out of the gymnasium. They were starting the group tours. We didn't have long to talk.

"All those monsters," I said, "all the Greek gods—they're real."

"I knew it!"

I would've been more comfortable if she'd called me a liar, but Rachel looked like I'd just confirmed her worst suspicion.

"First Tyson, now her," Will sounded like he was pretty impressed with Percy's ability to help take first steps into this world. "You're blunt and get to the point, but don't try to scare them, let alone impress them. All you're really missing is the orientation video to explain the rest."

Nico snorted in delight beside him and Will smiled with pleasure.

"Yeah, yeah," Percy was shaking his head in exasperation at all the praise. "Been and done the whole TV show routine, not looking for round two."

"One slow news day and I'll bet that reporter will be back around," Will said confidently, mock framing Percy with his hands. Percy flipped him off and said, "show that on TV!"

Magnus loudly kept reading before they got too sidetracked among the chuckling.

"You don't know how hard it's been," she said. "For years I thought I was going crazy. I couldn't tell anybody. I couldn't—"

Thalia tugged at the links in her bracelet with the same feeling of uselessness Magnus felt. What were they supposed to do, post a billboard with a number to Olympus Hotline?

She imagined for a moment borrowing these books when they were done with them, maybe giving some mortal a sense of salvation if they read it like this was some fairy tell, Sally apparently might be some help with that. A world they could never be a part of, but at least wouldn't think they were crazy for.

She glanced at Percy with guilt though and decided she might have to tweak a few details.

Her eyes narrowed. "Wait. Who are you? I mean really?"

"I'm not a monster."

"Well, I know that. I could see if you were. You look like...you. But you're not human, are you?"

I swallowed. Even though I'd had three years to get used to who I was, I'd never talked about it with a regular mortal before—I mean, except for my mom, but she already knew. I don't know why, but I took the plunge.

"I'm a half-blood," I said. "I'm half human."

"And half what?"

Just then Tammi and Kelli stepped into the band room.

"Half-fish," Alex supplied as if poor Rachel had really been left in the lurch.

"Paul is only his step dad Alex, keep up," Magnus smirked.

The doors slammed shut behind them.

"There you are, Percy Jackson," Tammi said. "It's time for your orientation."

"They're horrible!" Rachel gasped.

"A blonde, a burnet, and a red head walk into a band room-" Alex began.

"If you make one more joke about this I'll put you in the perconcussion section," Percy mispronounced with a hard look at Magnus not to correct him.

"Who says I don't already know how to play the bongos?" He challenged back.

Percy sighed in defeat, he really should have known better by this time.

Tammi and Kelli were still wearing their purple-and-white cheerleader costumes, holding pom-poms from the rally.

"Well those are going to be covered in blood and monster dust here soon," Nico said confidently.

"Don't forget the fire," Will nodded, "he can't leave school without it."

Percy groaned, as much because they were right as his head ached in pain, and because he believed they were right.

"What do they really look like?" I asked, but Rachel seemed too stunned to answer.

"Oh, forget her." Tammi gave me a brilliant smile and started walking toward us. Kelli stayed by the doors, blocking our exit.

They'd trapped us. I knew we'd have to fight our way out, but Tammi's smile was so dazzling it distracted me. Her blue eyes were beautiful, and the way her hair swept over her shoulders...

"Percy," Rachel warned.

I said something really intelligent like, "Uhhh?"

"And we can officially ear mark the moment Percy hit puberty," Jason mock clicked a pen to jot that down.

"When he sees Annabeth again it's officially going to be a, treat," Magnus sighed, gods he did not want to hear his cousin described by a male teenager.

"I can and will make your lives hell without drowning you," Percy pleasantly reminded.

Jason pretended he couldn't hear him and was still scribbling, making sure Percy could hear words like, "needs the talk," and, "date do's and don'ts," so Magnus very loudly kept reading over that before Percy acted on the urge of breaking his fingers like he was obviously considering.

Tammi was getting closer. She held out her pom-poms.

"Percy!" Rachel's voice seemed to be coming from a long way away. "Snap out of it!"

It took all my willpower, but I got my pen out of my pocket and uncapped it. Riptide grew into a three-foot-long bronze sword, its blade glowing with a faint golden light.

"I hope Rachel didn't have to many nightmares about that," Percy sighed, still fidgeting with the cap uneasily. It took a lot of concentration to constantly remind himself the adrenaline dump was all in his head and there was nothing to kill in here.

Tammi's smile turned to a sneer.

"Oh, come on," she protested. "You don't need that. How about a kiss instead?"

She smelled like roses and clean animal fur—a weird but somehow intoxicating smell.

"Note to self, nobody spray Grover with roses, then he'll be unstoppable," Thalia nodded for herself.

Rachel pinched my arm, hard. "Percy, she wants to bite you! Look at her!"

"Well that would get anyone's attention," Jason rubbed his arm and studied the book in concern.

"Are they vampires?!" Alex's eyes went comically wide. "Are we really about to get vampires up in here?" He looked ready to lunge for Magnus's throat to see for himself.

"Note to self, keep the fangs away from this one," Thalia said in concern.

She's just jealous," Tammi looked back at Kelli. "May I, mistress?"

Kelli was still blocking the door, licking her lips hungrily. "Go ahead, Tammi. You're doing fine."

Tammi took another step forward, but I leveled the tip of my sword at her chest. "Get back."

She snarled. "Freshmen," she said with disgust. "This is our school, halfblood. We feed on whom we choose!"

Then she began to change. The color drained out of her face and arms. Her skin turned as white as chalk, her eyes completely red. Her teeth grew into fangs.

"That is so cool!" Alex really did reach over to steal the book, but Magnus hugged it close and shuffled as far away as he could on his end of the couch. Alex turned pleading eyes to Percy, "did you at least get an autograph?"

"I'll start a book of monsters just for you," Percy said, rather nonplussed at Alex geeking out over something else wanting to kill him. It really was par for the course at this rate.

"A vampire!" I stammered. Then I noticed her legs. Below the cheerleader skirt, her left leg was brown and shaggy with a donkey's hoof. Her right leg was shaped like a human leg, but it was made of bronze.

"And that somehow made them cooler," Magnus agreed with Alex's yelp. "I'll give them this, it's original."

"They don't need compliments Magnus, they need decapitation," Nico reminded in exasperation.

"They can have both," Will said fairly. "I'm sure Kellie and Tammi appreciate compliments once in a while, it must get exhausting with how popular vampires are now adays to hear themselves described wrong."

"I just hope Percy doesn't ask if they sparkle," Thalia sighed.

"Uhh, a vampire with—"

"Don't mention the legs!" Tammi snapped. "It's rude to make fun!"

She advanced on her weird, mismatched legs. She looked totally bizarre, especially with the pom-poms, but I couldn't laugh—not facing those red eyes and sharp fangs.

"Then you need more fun in your life," Alex told him, he was still laughing plenty at this development.

"Cheerleader vampires, I'm surprised that's not a book of its own," Magnus agreed.

"A vampire, you say?" Kelli laughed. "That silly legend was based on us, you fool. We are empousai, servants of Hecate."

"Mmmm." Tammi edged closer to me. "Dark magic formed us from animal, bronze, and ghost! We exist to feed on the blood of young men. Now come, give me that kiss!"

"Maybe they shouldn't lead with the gross details of their existence if they want a smooch," Jason frowned, clearly unimpressed as he flipped his coin around.

"Dating is weirdly hard, kudos for trying their own approach," Percy shrugged, "it just didn't work on me."

"Liar," Thalia waved to the book where he'd yet swung his sword.

"I was caught off guard, not considering it!" He insisted.

"Uhhu, that's exactly what I'm hearing, not that Rachel had to save you," Thalia reminded.

Percy tried to splutter some denial together, but Magnus saved him the effort.

She bared her fangs. I was so paralyzed I couldn't move, but Rachel threw a snare drum at the empousa's head.

"Exhibit A your honor!" Thalia crowed.

"I want this case dismissed! Objection!" That was the only lawyer speak Percy knew though and sat back in his seat with a sigh at the accompanying laughter.

The demon hissed and batted the drum away. It went rolling along the aisles between music stands, its springs rattling against the drumhead.

Rachel threw a xylophone, but the demon just swatted that away, too.

"I would pay all of the money for her to throw a tuba next," Alex said with a disturbing kind of gleam that usually meant he'd be trying this himself eventually.

"You would make a great one man band act," Magnus agreed. Alex would be the only person who could make a guitar riff and then bash a monsters head in and still get a tip.

"I don't usually kill girls," Tammi growled. "But for you, mortal, I'll make an exception. Your eyesight is a little too good!"

She lunged at Rachel.

"No!" I slashed with Riptide. Tammi tried to dodge my blade, but I sliced straight through her cheerleader uniform, and with a horrible wail she exploded into dust all over Rachel.

Rachel coughed. She looked like she'd just had a sack of flour dumped on her head. "Gross!"

"First Annabeth, now her," Jason chuckled. "Does the value of a thank you just not mean anything anymore?"

Thalia stepped on his shoe, and he yelped in pain. She raised a brow at him and asked, "now where's my thank you for shutting you up?"

He tucked his aching toes behind his other heel and decided against answering like the smart kid he was.

"Monsters do that," I said. "Sorry."

"You killed my trainee!" Kelli yelled. "You need a lesson in school spirit, half-blood!"

"Anything but math club, anything but math club," Percy crossed his fingers and leaned forward in his seat.

"Technically attempted murder is not math club, so wish granted," Thalia sighed.

"He could start a junior detectives club, help the local police solve crimes," Will grinned.

"They'd arrest me on sight," Percy reminded with a huff.

Then she too began to change. Her wiry hair turned into flickering flames. Her eyes turned red. She grew fangs. She loped toward us, her brass foot and hoof clopping unevenly on the band-room floor.

"I am senior empousa," she growled. "No hero has bested me in a thousand years."

"Yeah?" I said. "Then you're overdue!"

"As leader of the squad, you'd really hope she'd be more prepared for the time restraints of multiple responsibilities," Alex said in mock disappointment.

"High school life is hard and stressful enough, Percy will help her balance some of it," Magnus reminded, and by that he meant cut her into evenly squared pieces of monster dust.

Kelli was a lot faster than Tammi. She dodged my first strike and rolled into the brass section, knocking over a row of trombones with a mighty crash. Rachel scrambled out of the way. I put myself between her and the empousa.

Will's adams-apple bobbed as he nervously swallowed. There were a few training scenarios where you had to defend someone on the ground pretending to be unconscious while a 'monster' attacked. Percy got in repeated trouble for those from him and Chiron for always taking more hits than he should.

Kelli circled us, her eyes going from me to the sword.

"Such a pretty little blade," she said. "What a shame it stands between us."

Her form shimmered—sometimes a demon, sometimes a pretty cheerleader. I tried to keep my mind focused, but it was really distracting.

"The first monster I've heard that seems to have adapted to your ADHD perk," Magnus said nervously. He wondered if it would work on those who wouldn't be naturally attracted to a pretty girl, or was the scent a universal lull no matter the case?

"Gods, please don't start trying to classify us with ecosystems and Latin names," Percy sighed, "I avoided biology as much as calculus."

"Poor dear." Kelli chuckled. "You don't even know what's happening, do you? Soon, your pretty little camp in flames, your friends made slaves to the Lord of Time, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. It would be merciful to end your life now, before you have to see that."

Percy's blood boiled at just the hint of that threat, making the water heat up around them all. Thalia tugging at the collar of her shirt caught his attention fast enough and he took a deep breath to settle himself, but that headache was back in full force. Chiron had warned an attack coming this summer on his camp. Whether Kellie knew something about it or was just taunting him, he needed to find out.

From down the hall, I heard voices. A tour group was approaching. A man was saying something about locker combinations.

The empousa's eyes lit up. "Excellent! We're about to have company!"

"Why is that a good thing?" Nico asked with growing dread. Monsters weren't usually psyched to have a mortal audience.

Percy didn't seem to hear anything at the moment but the words of the book, his attention laser focused and Riptide now fully in hand. They all sat uneasily in place and hoped this fight wrapped up quickly before he lost track of the fact there were no empousa in here to kill.

She picked up a tuba and threw it at me. Rachel and I ducked. The tuba sailed over our heads and crashed through the window.

"You got your tuba Alex," Jason half-heartedly reminded now.

"I wanted Rachel to throw it," he sighed with disappointment. "That's okay, I can imagine it landing on Kellie just fine without the book."

The voices in the hall died down.

"Percy!" Kelli shouted, pretending to be scared, "why did you throw that?"

"Oh shit," Magnus groaned, guessing exactly what she was doing. It really didn't seem fair Percy kept getting blamed when it was the monsters destroying the school and he just happened to be there. And he'd thought little of the justice system before this mess.

I was too surprised to answer. Kelli picked up a music stand and swiped a row of clarinets and flutes. Chairs and musical instruments crashed to the floor.

"Stop it!" I said.

People were tromping down the hall now, coming in our direction.

"Time to greet our visitors!" Kelli bared her fangs and ran for the doors. I charged after her with Riptide. I had to stop her from hurting the mortals.

"Percy, don't!" Rachel shouted. But I hadn't realized what Kelli was up to until it was too late.

Thalia tightly pinched the space between her eyes with defeat. Once again, she couldn't imagine chastising Percy for doing exactly what she would have done. He really would have made a great Hunter.

Percy still didn't seem to hear what the problem was now. He was tapping his feet rapid fire on the ground, tightening and loosening his grip on his sword with his urge not to swing it on anyone in here.

Kelli flung open the doors. Paul Blofis and a bunch of freshmen stepped back in shock. I raised my sword.

At the last second, the empousa turned toward me like a cowering victim.

"Oh no, please!" she cried. I couldn't stop my blade. It was already in motion.

Just before the celestial bronze hit her, Kelli exploded into flames like a Molotov cocktail. Waves of fire splashed over everything. I'd never seen a monster do that before, but I didn't have time to wonder about it. I backed into the band room as the flames engulfed the doorway.

"Paul," Percy muttered in a daze, shaking his head and finally coming back to himself in here with concern. He remembered Paul talking about some kid who accidentally started a trash fire when he'd tried to stub out a cigarette and Paul had gotten him off with a warning. He'd used that story as a way to assure Sally accidents happened and her accident prone son wouldn't be blamed for something like that.

That fire alarm had been really loud going off and still had nothing on the dread filling him at the shock, the horror on Paul's face. He'd almost rather it be Gabe sneering at him and calling him a freak.

"Percy?" Paul Blofis looked completely stunned, staring at me from across the fire. "What have you done?"

Kids screamed and ran down the hall. The fire alarm wailed. Ceiling sprinklers hissed to life.

In the chaos, Rachel tugged on my sleeve. "You have to get out of here!"

She was right. The school was in flames and I'd be held responsible.

Mortals couldn't see through the Mist properly. To them it would look like I'd just attacked a helpless cheerleader in front of a group of witnesses.

There was no way I could explain it. I turned from Paul and sprinted for the broken band room window.

Percy swallowed the bitter smell of smoke, the screaming and his own self-loathing for all the problems he caused. Paul would probably dump his mom after this, another screw up.

I burst out of the alley onto East 81st and ran straight into Annabeth.

"That's almost a step down from her usual grand entrances," Alex noted with mild disappointment. "I half expected her to show up and stab them for flirting with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, her timing is still amazing," Percy grinned in delight just like he always did when the slightest exchange between them was revitalized in his mind, but there was something off about it than usual. He didn't glow and straighten up in his seat. He was starting to ask himself what the heck had possessed Annabeth to kiss someone so wholly not at her level.

"Hey, you're out early!" she laughed, grabbing my shoulders to keep me from tumbling into the street. "Watch where you're going, Seaweed Brain."

For a split second she was in a good mood and everything was fine. She was wearing jeans and an orange camp T-shirt and her clay bead necklace. Her blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her gray eyes sparkled. She looked like she was ready to catch a movie, have a cool afternoon hanging out together.

Then Rachel Elizabeth Dare, still covered in monster dust, came charging out of the alley, yelling, "Percy, wait up!"

Annabeth's smile melted. She stared at Rachel, then at the school. For the first time, she seemed to notice the black smoke and ringing fire alarms.

The black singes on his shirt and wild look in his eyes probably caught on right about then too, Thalia winced. It was kind of sweet though, that Annabeth always smiled first at the sight of him and then everything else kicked in.

She frowned at me. "What did you do this time? And who is this?"

"Oh, Rachel—Annabeth. Annabeth—Rachel. Um, she's a friend, I guess."

I wasn't sure what else to call Rachel. I mean, I barely knew her, but after being in two life-or-death situations together, I couldn't just call her nobody.

"Why would you call her Annabeth?" Alex asked glibly.

"I have a cyclops who will chase you for a hug and I'm not afraid to use him," Percy answered.

"Hi," Rachel said. Then she turned to me. "You are in so much trouble. And you still owe me an explanation!"

Police sirens wailed on FDR Drive.

"Percy," Annabeth said coldly. "We should go."

"I want to know more about half-bloods," Rachel insisted. "And monsters. And this stuff about the gods." She grabbed my arm, whipped out a permanent marker, and wrote a phone number on my hand. "You're going to call me and explain, okay? You owe me that. Now get going."

"But—"

"I'll make up some story," Rachel said. "I'll tell them it wasn't your fault. Just go!"

She ran back toward the school, leaving Annabeth and me in the street.

Percy remembered her maroon shirt flapping around her and the slight burntness of one strand of red hair like she'd been too close to the fire too. A part of him wanted to go back in there with her. Maybe for once give Rachel and Paul that explanation they both deserved.

Annabeth was already walking off though. He could see her in his mind, her ponytail whacking him as she stalked away like he'd brought one of those empousa out to introduce instead of a mortal girl who had helped him out because he'd ruined her day too by attracting monsters.

He sighed, and knew he'd followed her. He'd follow her anywhere.

"Hey!" I jogged after her. "There were these two empousai," I tried to explain. "They were cheerleaders, see, and they said camp was going to burn, and—"

"You told a mortal girl about half-bloods?"

"She can see through the Mist. She saw the monsters before I did."

"So you told her the truth?"

"She recognized me from Hoover Dam, so—"

"You've met her before?"

"You didn't tell her about that?" Magnus asked in surprise. "No wonder she's so short with you."

"It was the highlight of the last book," Alex agreed in shock.

"Why would I tell Annabeth about nearly dying on a dam, or on a mountain, or in a museum?" Percy asked in exasperation. "There were evil skeletons chasing us across the country, Nico made them vanish!"

"I'm suddenly grateful somebody recorded your thoughts instead of you trying to explain all this," Jason frowned. "You are horrible at telling stories, including the one you just tried to tell Annabeth."

"I didn't ask for any of your opinions on this!" He snapped and slammed back into his seat.

"This chapter's almost done," Magnus promised, "hopefully, we um, get a change of subject."

"Um, last winter. But seriously, I barely know her."

"She's kind of cute."

"I—I never thought about it."

"That was probably the correct response," Alex still gave him a tragic look like he should be wearing a dunce cap. It was sort of funny to Alex, Annabeth was so instantly jealous of the first girl she ever saw Percy around. Weren't the Aphrodite kids at camp all over him? It would be interesting to to see if that was her real problem and it wasn't something else this had just brought up.

Annabeth kept walking toward York Avenue.

"I'll deal with the school," I promised, anxious to change the subject. "Honest, it'll be fine."

Annabeth wouldn't even look at me. "I guess our afternoon is off. We should get you out of here, now that the police will be searching for you."

Percy crossed his arms and glared at the cracks in the floor he'd caused. He felt like a shmuck, now ruining everybody's day around him too. There was no more laughter or jokes to be had because of him too.

"It's alright Percy," Will promised, "you remembering this can't be any more fun than the monster attacks."

"Thanks," Percy muttered, trying to unclench his jaw from how instantly stressed he felt from Annabeth being mad at him.

While Thalia shifted protectively beside him, wishing she could tell Annabeth to take a chill pill. The boy didn't know how to flirt, let alone find anyone other than her attractive.

Behind us, smoke billowed up from Goode High School. In the dark column of ashes, I thought I could almost see a face—a she-demon with red eyes, laughing at me.

Your pretty little camp in flames, Kelli had said. Your friends made slaves to the Lord of Time.

"You're right," I told Annabeth, my heart sinking. "We have to get to Camp Half-Blood. Now."

Magnus handed the book over to Alex with a wince. So much for his concern Annabeth would be the one to need someone in her corner, now he felt like he should be fleeing the scene.

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Here at last! Oh the things to look forward to in this book! My personal favorite is the three parter of the Demon Dude Ranch. Let me know what you're looking forward to?