#This whole thing sits weird personally.
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This whole thing sucks. We know Jon Renish and Mary Kirby were both impacted by this layoff. [Source] [Source]
BioWare Blog post: An Update on the State of BioWare
by BioWare - August 23, 2023
"Hello again, Today, rather than discuss one of our upcoming projects, Iâd like to share an update about the studio itself and outline our vision for BioWareâs future. In order to meet the needs of our upcoming projects, continue to hold ourselves to the highest standard of quality, and ensure BioWare can continue to thrive in an industry thatâs rapidly evolving, we must shift towards a more agile and more focused studio. It will allow our developers to iterate quickly, unlock more creativity, and form a clear vision of what weâre building before development ramps up. To achieve this, we find ourselves in a position where change is not only necessary, but unavoidable. As difficult as this is to say, rethinking our approach to development inevitably means reorganizing our team to match the studioâs changing needs. As part of this transition, we are eliminating approximately 50 roles at BioWare. That is deeply painful and humbling to write. We are doing everything we can to ensure the process is handled with empathy, respect, and clear communication. With that last point in mind, I want to take a moment to explain how we got here, what weâre doing to support our colleagues, and what this means for BioWareâs current and future games. WHATâS HAPPENING NOW After much consideration and careful planning, we have built a long-term vision that will preserve the health of the studio and better enable us to do what we do best: create exceptional story-driven single-player experiences filled with vast worlds and rich characters. This vision balances the current needs of the studioânamely, ensuring Dragon Ageâ˘: Dreadwolf is an outstanding gameâwith its future, including the success of the next Mass Effectâ˘. Weâve chosen to act now in part to provide our impacted colleagues with as many internal opportunities as possible. These changes coincide with a significant number of roles that are currently open across EAâs other studios. Impacted employees will be provided with professional resources and assistance as they apply for these positions. While itâs unlikely that everyone will find a new role within the company, we are committed to supporting our staff as they navigate this change. Our sincere hope is that they can continue their exemplary work at studios who stand to benefit immensely from their talents. IMMEDIATE IMPACT If youâre wondering how all of this will impact development of Dragon Age: Dreadwolf, let me be clear that our dedication to the game has never wavered. Our commitment remains steadfast, and we all are working to make this game worthy of the Dragon Age name. We are confident that weâll have the time needed to ensure Dreadwolf reaches its full potential. I can also tell you that every member of our team, even those departing BioWare, deserves credit for crafting a spectacular experience. These are our colleagues and friends, and we would not be here without them. I am so proud of all the work our team has done. WHAT COMES NEXT While this is an extremely difficult day for everyone at BioWare, we are making changes now to build a brighter future. Weâre excited for all of you to see what weâve been building with Dreadwolf. A core veteran team led by Mike Gamble continues their pre-production work on the next Mass Effect. Our commitment to quality continues to be our North Star. As cliche as this sounds, there truly is never a good time to enact changes like this, but we trust that we have the right leaders and team in place with vision, passion, and proven track records to deliver world-class Dragon Age and Mass Effect experiences that our fans will love. For now, I want to thank everyone at BioWareâpast and presentâfor making the studio what it is. I also want to thank our community for your continued support. Weâre eager to reveal more about Dreadwolf, and we look forward to discovering what else the future holds. Gary McKay General Manager, BioWare"
[source]
#bioware#bioware layoffs#long post#mary kirby#jon renish#I hope everyone effected lands on their feet#This whole thing sits weird personally.#I hope everyone finds new projects soon
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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spoilers for chapter 429
idk if you guys remember but ochako does have parallels with All Might, specifically as the side who saves. Itâs not that he feels the same for them both or something like that, they serve to represent the type of heroism he naturally goes to; his friend is not his love interest, from his perspective sheâs out there having a crisis over not being able to save her, and Izuku reminds her that she is a hero bc she is his hero -she saved him multiple times, and she should be able to feel like a proper hero.
This conversation is not about the nature of their relationship, is about heroism; Izuku relates to a conflict between being a hero who saves and failing to save someone, and doesnât want to see Ochako ending spiraling because she couldnât also fulfill that role as expected. Sheâs his hero not because he loves her romantically -heâs a nerd Iâm sure he would be way more nervous and blushing if he was confessing anything he thought was romantic- but because sheâs able to go and do what All Might does to Izuku, save him physically and emotionally.
He knows she hides her feelings in order to not be a burden, yet he doesnât talk about his own feelings outside of his guilt in heroics -what does he feel about losing OFA? About his own failures? About the people he personally lost? He canât talk for others and claim Ochako is everyoneâs hero, but he can speak for himself, and thatâs his personal perspective -she is a hero to him, sheâs his hero. And then the class appears to make sure sheâs able to get support and understand sheâs not alone, and sheâs important to them too.
but Izuku doesnât get support. Izuku cries a little and talks a little about himself, but he doesnât get supported. If this was meant to be romantic, I donât understand why he would hold back whatâs inside of him.
the end of the chapter reveals that boy is going to be helped by that woman who regretfully ignored Tenko, and they both witness it and are happy about it while hearing izuku inspired that change, and iida wonders whatâs up with them -this is the conclusion to their relationship. In their hearts these two are saviors who struggle to be heroes who save others, and they are happy there are appearing more people who want to be heroes like them. Heroes who save. Save like All Might.
That grandma for example, interpreting the narrative as what I think is intended, would be that boyâs All Might; sheâs his hero.
Izuku and Ochako are heroes who save, and Deku is here to remind her at least she did save him many times, that she is still a hero because she is his hero. I donât believe is meant to be interpreted as romantic, not that Izuku sees that phrase as it neither -after all, he said he does want to be like All Might and feels good to imitate him, but he doesnât love him.
Ochakoâs All Might hair moment, the parallels with Toshinori telling him he can be a hero, the trying to save from black suffocating quirks, the we can do it and do your best��
Do I need to remind you heroes arent a romantic thing for Izuku Midoriya?
#grrr talking#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#Iâm not saying Iâm happy with the chapter#I have my criticisms#But I donât want to keep seeing ppl say this is romantic and âizu///ocha canon we won bkdk deadâ#First of all no itâs not even if it was canon we would still ship them and make content about them#Second of all this chapter was about ochako getting comfort not a boyfriend#Are we really sitting there believing they are together when ochako doesnât struggle nor think about her crush at all#And her character goes way beyond liking him or not#And izuku hero nerd midoriya calls her his hero bc he sees all might savior qualities in her???#Bitch whereâs the romance#And you know what? I donât get it now#Bc ppl were all like âyeah itâs platonicâ when izuku said he admired all might but katsuki was just right there closer to him#But now they see the whole âyou are my heroâ as a romantic confession? Fuck off#Personally I always felt kinda strange about that scene in bk vs dk 2#It focuses on the closeness and and itâs strange bc izuku doesnât strive to be like him at all#He doesnât want to be the victorious hero side nor want to be a angry and disrespectful when he gets angry#He just is#So. Yeah#ochako is part of the saving chain and she saved him multiple times since the beginning#This is his experience with her and she deserves to be acknowledged as the hero she is#Even if nobody else sees her as that including herself he sees it#She deserves to hear it#When she saved him during black whip with shinsoâs help everyone else saw a romantic moment#Mina teased her about it and made things weird for them always trying to look into it as a romantic gesture#And it wasnât. That was ochako being the hero she is and Izuku confirms that to her#She is a hero not a love interest
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like âhey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.â Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going âI recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.â And âgod he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.â
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I wonât tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworthâs cases cause âhey I know that guyâ#but of course they donât like go up and talk to him cause they werenât really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superheroâs during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like âmaybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldnât get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.â#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like âI am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.â#and like they wouldnât be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#âhey I know you donât remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?â
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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just learned that people are like legitimately pissed that mackenyu buffed up for season 2 ???
#opla#mackenyu#mackenyu maeda#one piece live action#arata mackenyu#one piece#opla zoro#like there are ppl making jokes whatever whatever and then there are ppl that are quite literally clutching their pearls#add this to the list of times that the anime/manga fans said rude/unnecessary things about the opla actors and their bodies#for anyone confused: some other examples include asking whether or not emily would get a breast enhancement to be âmanga/anime accurateâ#and asking whether ilia would lose weight because alvida gets skinnier later in the manga/anime#<- she did but because idk whether she made the decision herself (either a personal choice or for the show) or not i'll just leave it there#(that sentence lowkey made no sense but hopefully y'all get the gist)#but anyway#they're basically talking about how it's a continuity error and he's only supposed to get bigger after the time skip#BRO THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE'S BODIES !!!#like yes they're playing fictional characters but without the help of prosthetics they're just going in with their actual faces and bodies#the fact that you thought someone who filmed the first season in 2022 would look the exact same in 2024 (especially muscle-wise) is insane#there is next to no way he could've made his muscles look the exact same way#even if he did the exact same workouts and ate the exact same foods and just did everything the same#IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS !!!#and bodies (and the way muscle builds on them) already fluctuates over the course of days weeks and months#IMAGINE HOW MUCH IT CAN CHANGE IN TWO YEARS !!!!#like this is actually ridiculous#i have nothing against one piece fans as a whole#but the fact that there are so many creeps and overall weird people who have no grasp of reality in this fandom is so...I DON'T EVEN KNOW#like who is gonna be watching season 2 going âwow that was so good but i wish that zoro was smaller it really took me out of the showâ ?!#LITERALLY WHO?????#i will just be sitting in my little bubble dreaming about zoro crushing my skull with his arms while y'all lose your minds
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Maybe I did this to myself but it does irk me when people see me knitting and they ask who itâs for and I say itâs for me and the immediate reaction is âyou should sell itâ yeah⌠let me spend at least a weekâs worth of my free time making an item I like, want, and would wear just to sell it on etsy, making at most a ÂŁ2 profit on materials and not being compensated for my time whatsoever đđť
#i say maybe i did this to myself because historically i have gifted most of the items i have knitted#because the venn diagram of things i like to knit vs things i like to wear is actually 2 circles that donât touch#i looove making hats. i HATE wearing hats#also i love making baby clothes but i donât have a baby and iâm not going to have a baby#however lately iâve gotten really into knitting socks and i really like to wear knit socks. itâs like the most affordable way for me to get#quality wool socks. and iâm going to be watching my shows anyway. the time will pass anyways#but it feels like people are deliberately making me feel weird for wanting to make stuff for myself and not profit off my hobby#and like iâve made 3 pairs of socks to gift already because âtis the season or whatever. and iâve started another pair for a friend whose#birthday is in january#genuinely itâs very weird to hear âyou should sell itâ or âoh i want one!!â about an item iâm making for myself. after 18 years of gifting#or donating basically everything iâve ever knitted. like iâve gifted 2 double bed size crochet blankets#everyone iâve known whoâs had a baby has gotten a cardigan or a blanket or hats or all of the above#i spent october making poppies for the church. iâve never even stepped foot in my village church mind you. my neighbour asked me to help#do you know what i own? that iâve knitted? a pair of mittens and a pair of socks.#you want some socks from me? alright. thatâs anywhere between ÂŁ6 and ÂŁ10 for the yarn and thatâs optimistic#iâm currently making myself a pair with hand-dyed yarn that cost me ÂŁ18 including delivery#the needles i use cost me more than ÂŁ10. time⌠letâs call it 24 hours per sock#i donât know anyone with 18 years experience who makes minimum wage so letâs call it an even 600 for my time. tbh#DO YOU SEE how this isnât a viable side hussle??? i physically cannot charge what my socks are worth#if i like you and youâre willing to wait; socks are free or cost whatever the yarn costs#if i donât like or know you venmo me ÂŁ620. and youâre still going to have to wait.#just pisses me OFF when people suggest i make an etsy page and they say it like theyâre doing me a favour or giving me great financial#advice. like youâve seen me sitting here all evening and iâm barely done with the cuff.. do you actually think selling these for ÂŁ20 maximum#is going to help me out. iâm not selling them. theyâre FOR me. iâm making them because i want them#also when my friendâs family was saying this to me and i was like âwell the yarn cost a fiverâ and they got quiet and i was thinking yeahâŚ#a fiver is the maximum you cheapskates would pay isnât it. a fiver is cheap sock yarn bought on sale. or yarn that probably isnât actually#good for socks. like donât presume to give me financial advice when youâre this out of touch with the market please#next person who asks when iâm going to start selling socks is getting this whole rant in entirety tbh i donât care anymore#personal#edited to add that i didnât even get into etsy fees or whether i would even be noticed among the mountain of dropshippers LOL
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I genuinely feel like I dont have a right at all to complain or talk negative about Japanese fans but likeâŚâŚ..the evident cliqueish-ness of honestly what looks like a very unfortunate larger chunk of them âŚâŚđŽâđ¨
like i gotta be honest the concert was a lot more isolating than it actually already was in itself because of the vibes at least a couple of clusters of fans gave me
#ramblin but not a gamblin man#like thereâs a point where the pretty fixed staring or being likeâŚ.physically distanced by everyone just getsâŚ..unnerving#like the train back was completely fucking packed#except for in the space in front of where i was sittingâŚ..lol#there was room for at least two people to stand if only people had actually consolidated and scrunched#like they had been doing the entire motherfucking way through transit and back#but i guess fuck them they can wait for the next train??? sure that makes sense#like i have never felt MORE uncomfortable and self-conscious being a smap/takuya fan#heâs the only piece that actually matters at the con tho đŤ°#i probably should have brought merch but i actually was not crazy about the conâs theming (itâsâŚgiving a bit too parasocial for my taste)#and I didnât even consider bringing gwtf or next destination merch but i probably should have#but itâs not actually /mine/ so then i would think about how everyone that has theirs maybe probably ACTUALLY went to the concerts#that was another thing tho which is absolutely stupid because the whole point of a con is to SHOW OFF the stuff#but it was actually likeâŚâŚ..off putting to meâŚâŚ.#idk maybe itâs cuz i innately have a weird ârelationshipâ with smap/individual members in that they arenât normal-level interests#it just wasnât sitting right with me seeing hoards of fans with bags..shirts..hats..all kinds of stuff lol#and itâs so hard NOT to have a defense mechanism like âI wonder if that person likes smap or /just/ takuyaâŚ.â#and âdid you actually want to come to the concert or mostly/just because you think heâs hot/cool/etc etc?â#esp validating seeing TWO people yawn during the con which was genuinely pretty disgusting/distasteful lmao#like thatâs worse than leaving early why are you EVEN HERE#sorry okay i could probably vent more but i actually shouldnt and also i might end up talking in circles but#he was genuinelyâŚâŚâŚâŚso amazing im eternally grateful that i had the opportunity to see him live#and if there is a smap reunionâŚâŚâŚ..#âŚ.i genuinely think smapchat should storm it#be our own â¨cliqueâ¨#(but likeâŚactually nice and kind and probably how takuya would want his fans to be ie not thickly-layered judgment [heehee :3])#(im also actually kind of so serious ???)
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Google how to make friends as an adult when you are weird and everyone can smell it on you that you are weird and you do not know how to be not weird lol
#personal#im not Weird weird but im weird. i unsettle people i think#fun fact: i dont ever talk first to coworkers because i assume if someone wanted to speak to me they would speak to me and so itd be rude-#-for me to speak to them first because who am i to assume they want to talk to me. turns out! that just makes you look rude and standoffish#who knew. not me#this probably contributes to my weirdness. but Ive found myself observing social interactions between people at my second job#and there are things I just simply do not understand. there are times when it is socially acceptable to invite yourself into an ongoing--#--conversation. and there are times when it is wholly inappropriate. i do not understand the difference and so i dont do it#there are times when it is appropriate to respond with an anecdote of a similar situation. there are times when it is inappropriate.#again. i do not understand the difference. so i just sit there like đ my whole shift#which again. makes me look weird#this turned into a rant haha i genuinely dont know how to fix it though#I used to be very good at making friends. this has changed as an adult. I don't know how to do it anymore and i am lonely#if anyone reads this far though i would genuinely accept advice or feedback i feel quite hopeless at this
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its so fucked up that ppl can like. see where you are looking and will judge you based on that. like not for weird reasons im not like Why cant i stare at womens boobs -_- or whatever. but like if i look out a window while talking to someone then im not paying attention and Whats so interesting out there. or like im looking around the room a lot ppl think im nervous but i judt want to look at my surroundings Ugh. sucks.
#many such cases. well not rly i dont talk to ppl much anymore#but i do get nervous to like. like sometimes i cant tell if my dad is sitting in a chair in the living room but i dont want to directly loo#at him bc i dont want it to be like a whole thing#it never rly is hes never like Why the fuck r you looking at me but its like weird to just like. Look at him. so i have to find some other#reason to be looking in that direction so i can figure out if hes there or not and its so insanely stressful.#luckily usually i can glance at the tv and see whats on and figure out who it is from that#idk. its rly very stressful i hate that eye movement is considered part of a conversation that should be like. private... like im judt#looking at things it shouldnt matter what i am or am not looking at Obviously exceptions like im not gonna be staring at someones crotch#while theyre talking to me You know. but like its stressful and yes i dont like making eye contact#so insanely personal like i cant just be making eye contact with fuckinf evrrybody are you crazy. making eye contact literally feels like in#like tinkerbell or whatever it was when rhey had all those pinned butterflies and they were gonna do that to tink like thats me. its#literally like i am being pinned down its the scariest thing ever it makes me feel like im dissolving into particles
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Finding out youre agorophobic is wack bc its like, if you dont know then for me at least you just go out anyway and dissociate the whole time feel like absolute garbage and take days to recover from a small trip to groceries and finding every excuse possible to drop plans with people until they eventually stopped asking and stopped talking altogether. And now its like, oh. Is this why going outside feels like dying. Huh. And i wanna go out and do things but the thought makes me vomit for a week leading up to it and i was told oh its just being dramatic so yeah cool whatever.
Now im like, okay i actually have to get to used to going out and being around people adn put things in place for the paranoia and anxiety and plan things in advance and i gotta tell myself about it and walk myself through it everyday leading up. And im an adult so fuck everyone i will in fact be taking my headphones and a fidget and wearing my rat jacket as a security blanket in 90 degree weather thank you. I am in fact, allowed to accommodate myself and set boundaries fuck you actually.
#winter speaks#figuring out i was gaslit my whole life on more than just yhe two things i was aware if is fucking insane#i have a lot of the same problems my mom has that she fuckin caused or ignored and all my life#i couldnt have this and this and this bc youre just copying me and usinh my excuses#bitch you gave me this shit and then described what you deal eithnusing vocab i hadnt learned yet#and i connected yhe dots and eent oh and instead of you being self awate enough to also go oh you just berated me until i shut up#its really weird living in the same house as someome that gave youost of your issues. and the relationships better and you cant leave yet#but working through things and tryung yo accomodate and take care of yourself and be justifiably angry#while hiding it from the person youre living with bc all you wantbyo do is scream at them and ask them why and istead#youre asking if they want coffee bc youre making some and letting them know therell be packages next week n sorry about that#is a fucking whiplash experience and im just sitting here like °-° i wanna smash things and scream#anyway. get therapy if you can its fun
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Oh cool, a server for queer people in my area, seems inclusive based on the tags so thatâs great! I donât join servers but Iâll check it out! Whoâs the person running this thing anyway?
*checks their profile, âmen dniâ*
Oh.
#talking to myself#vent#vagueposting#like I think i know what they meant by that but. youâre excluding lots of queers with that. if youâre trying to offer a safe placeâŚ#âŚfor queers maybe donât exclude a whole portion of them?#coming from a genderfluid/multigender person that stuff turns me off fast#âoh but youâre different uwuâ no Iâm not. Iâm a man sometimes and sometimes Iâm a man and something else.#< fully admitting that this is a hypothetical statement bc I donât talk to people pffft#Iâm just tired of the whole girl/woman lite bs#âthen why complain about it donât like donât re- I mean joinâ I mean duh Iâm not joining I wouldnât be welcome!!#Iâm just saying itâs weird for someone to preemptively tell a whole demographic to fuck off#and then make someplace supposedly safe for them *shrug*#idk man Iâm posting this on the reading comprehension webbed sight so I really hope this doesnât blow up#Iâm literally just bitching and sitting in a corner#but also like. has anyone else seen this sorta thing and felt weird about it?
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with the full disclaimer that i might be missing some context or significant piece of information & am fully welcoming anyone to inform me, i feel like. it really just doesn't seem like a huge deal that one of the "poison" storyboard artists is into "dark" kink. like this really feels like a non-issue to me
#tw sa mention#<- this is the only tag im putting on here cause i dont wanna get jumped#but like. idk. i feel like this is really just coming from people who don't..... understand how kink works?#and to preface im ace im not into kink im DEFINITELY not into hard/dark kink#but like ...... noncon is a whole genre of fanfic. cnc isn't an unpopular fetish. people who are into either of those things aren't#saying they find real life instances of assault to be hot. its fiction. its a fictional fantasy that in plenty of contexts is being#projected onto exclusively fictional characters#it sits super badly with me that people say 'you shouldnt let people with these kinks work on this show/hire these people' because#the sex lives of your employees being a deciding factor in what you allow them to work on seems. hm. really fucking weird ??#and ALSO also this person was JUST a storyboarder. they literally cannot be 'glorifying' or 'romanticizing' or whatever because#they are only STORYBOARDING they do not control the actual writing direction of the issue or#how it is framed by the narrative or handled within the writing#and the writing of hazbin hotel very clearly and repeatedly says 'hey this is a really bad thing that impacts angel super negatively and#he is all but verbatim saying he hates it and it is destroying him from the inside out'#and again i AM open to being corrected on this if there's some crucial info i'm missing or whatever and i DO think#there ARE glaring issues with the treatment of the subject of sa/harassment within the show#im not even going to get into the viv drama on twitter about this because. jesus christ#but. idk. i feel like this detail gets dragged on SOOOO fucking much when there are MUCH more productive discussions we could be having#mine
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I'm fatigued, my back hurts, I accidentally spent like 3 hours sat downstairs in a chair that made our back feel worse because our executive dysfunction prevented me getting up and going back upstairs even though I only went down there to get one thing, and now I really need to lay down but if I accidentally fall asleep again I feel like I'll wake up, realise I fell asleep and also that I feel like I wasted a big chunk of the day, and I'll end up feeling even worse again
#personal#thoughts#đŹ post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#I went downstairs to get food but ended up having to wait longer than anticipated which is whatever#but then that meant I ended up sitting down and once we sit down it's like our brain stops being able to process that we can leave#I'll sit there the whole time going ''I need to get up and go back upstairs. I don't want to be sat here'' and just can't get up#I hate that this happens because while I know our executive dysfunction isn't our fault#and it's the exact same issue that stops us eating or drinking or going to the toilet or whatever when we need to#I still feel like I should be able to just get up and do the thing and just leave if I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in#and it's so hard to get other people to understand that I can't ''just leave'' because my brain just won't let that happen#like I want to but my brain won't register it as an actual thing I can do and it feels more like a weird abstract concept#than a thing I could actually do. it's like my brain can't connect the concept of the action to the act of doing it#and then I get frustrated because why can't I just do the thing that I know I should be able to do#and then I've spent hours not doing anything I meant to and mostly just feel like shit because of it and it keeps happening#and now I need to lay down and I know what's likely to happen if I do that#but I do need to listen to my body especially after getting stuck in a situation that makes our pain and fatigue worse#also we had to take pain meds earlier and that's definitely not helping with us feeling shit emotionally about all this#I hate having to navigate our brain and body just not functioning properly#I feel like we've had so little energy lately and it's reminding me too much of this time last year when we had that blood infection#I'm terrified of that happening again because we almost didn't get treatment because we started to assume it was just our new baseline#hmm apparently within like 5 minutes we've gone from ''ugh I wasted 3 hours'' to almost crying over medical trauma#I probably need to try and do something to calm us down but also I'm too tired to really do anything#which brings me right back to the issue that triggered this whole rant and me getting upset in the first place
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AAAAAARGHH!!!!!!!!! OK FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i do like dirk now. whatever
#had another dream we were buddies it was cool actually#so. whatever. i cave#i think its just cause he reminds me so fucking much of my friend like it is fucking uncanny how alike they are#so whenever i read his dialogue im just like. hehe thats my friend#also. his first interaction with dave (thing i was crying about last night) is so. funny and messed up and well written and weird#its just. so sad. he was really really looiking forward to meeting him#like......... for his whole LIFE he was looking forward to it#and he finally gets to meet his hero and hes so nervous and trying to stay cool and all#hes just. starstruck. and he was really really REALLY looking forward to that conversation#and his personal hero just. makes it a point to let him know how much he fucking hates being there#hes like god i cant wait to go fight that bad guy and dirk has 2 sit there like#ah........ so hed rather risk his life to a maniac with lord english poweres covered in blood than talk to me............. ahhh...........#its just. YOU KNOWWWWW#its endearing. they managed to make it so painfully awkward#they made it SO AWKWARD!!!!!!!!! even worse than roxy and dave straight up called her hot multiple times#and she in return kept prying for information about his love life#and also even when dave said normal things he was awkward as fuck. he asked a question then just Didnt work with it#like........ isnt the point of getting to know people that you ask a question they answer it and then you talk about that topic awhile?#isnt it like.......... more of a pointer on what you can talk about to keep the other persons interest rather than. a genuine question#urgh anyway i fucking give up. i like dirk So what fucking sue me#hey btw i totally forgot about this when you said it but jade when you told me you wanted to fuck dirk what was that about#hes also gay. thats like a whole Thing even though it isnt#care to elaborate on that by any chance. cause id like some clarification on what you meant by that#mainly...................... what part of that man is fuckable....................................#AHH!!!!!!!! EVIL SPIDER!!!!!!!!
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like, I still think itâs sort of weird that Shonda Rhimes bought the rights to the Bridgerton novels, did a mediocre job at adapting the material and also kinda ruined one of the most popular pairings from the books in the process, and then proceeded to hyperfixate on her own OC to the point of creating a spin-off in which the central romance is about two members of a very white, slave-owning, racist and imperialist institution that could only maintain power through the exploitation of people of color all over the world, but now the protagonist is a black woman whoâs about to end racism in 1700s Great Britain through the power of Love
#i just⌠genuinely think itâs weird is all#like she totally didnât have to do any of that#she couldâve easily pulled a still star crossed and say âthis is the world; it is diverse; deal with itâ#and it totally wouldâve worked#but now shonda is explicitly asking me to think of the implications so i AM thinking of the implications#and the implications are HORRIBLE#you mean to tell me one of the richest and most influential women of the time is sitting on her ass obsessing over gossip#while thousands of black people are being kidnapped and sold as slaves in america#what is going on in the whole continent of africa??? or in countries like india or china???#is charlotte like âoh well those poor people of africa sure have it rough and my kingdom is directly reaping the benefits of that oppression#but also my hubby just gave a bunch of non-white people from london noble titles#so thatâs it <3 systemic racism is over <33#now back to lady whistledownâ#bc that would make her⌠yâknow⌠a shitty personâŚ.#and before anyone goes âitâs fiction itâs not that seriousâ#i know but shonda IS directly asking me to think about it with this show so! i! will!#anyways iâll still watch the whole thing because i have no backbone whatsoever butâŚ. i will have thoughts about it#also for anyone wondering the pairing that was ruined is obviously polin#and kanthony to an extent which is criminal if you ask me#i mean rmb is still my favorite jq book so iâm still somewhat looking forward seeing season 3#but like. penelope. look how they massacred my girl#âŚ..oh wow i went overboard with the tags. but iâm right#queen charlotte#bridgerton#queen charlotte a bridgerton story#bridgerton books#julia quinn#stfu pam
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