#This play goes like fuck I love evil liars and mean and selfish people and real estate agents

[2189114reads]

—glengarry glen ross, act 2 sc. 1, david mamet

[touchstoneaf]

I'm reading summaries and transcripts, and once in a while forcing myself to watch episodes of anything after season 3 of Smallville (solely so that I can rewrite them in a way that's much more coherent (and CLexy, but that goes w/o saying))... and my GOD, they are so dumb sometimes. Poor Michael. having to convincingly say shit like "your girlfriend was possessed by the ghost of a witch" with a straight face! (Side note what the actual fuck is the plot in this season? Season 4 is insane and I don't even want to talk about it.) Yes the show has always been a little goofy and has some storylines that are questionable... but they are really pushing it now.

Also one of the main strengths of the show is the chemistry between Michael and Tom, and yet they have full episodes where they don't even interact, and it's just like, *what* are you doing?! And then to top it off, each summary just gets more and more ridiculous and complicated as the seasons goes on, and I'm just like oh thank god I have simplified it in fanfiction! They are no damn witches (because let me not even get started on how witches are portrayed in most TV shows!), there are no spirits floating around trying to possess people (just because you have Kryptonite around does not mean you get to hand-wave literally anything at all. Why in the hell would a Kryptonite nodule or some dust cause ghosts to exist? It affects *living cells* with *radiation*. I don't even understand why they would make a decision like that. They really must have been desperate for stories already, and we're not even halfway through the show yet).

I'm not going to even get started on my main gripes with the show that have existed from the beginning, like turning Superman into a self-serving, abusive, selfish liar who lies, or the fact that their main "villain" was created out of victim-blaming and abuse and then everybody's just gleefully happy for Lex be treated like shit for no fucking reason whatsoever, while his Literally Evil father is turned into some kind of pseudo "good" guy. Cuz yeah, abusers should be redeemable. but their victims should end up alone and tortured and treated like shit by everybody around them. That totally makes sense. I won't get started, I really won't, because I will be here all day. Or the fact that nobody seems to have figured out that Clark is a meta at the very least, when he does all kinds of weird shit all the time. These people are smart. Chloe and Lex especially are not fucking stupid by any stretch. It just simply would not have taken them four or more years to realize that he could easily one of the mutants in town. Nobody would be shocked in the slightest; but they play it like they're just too stupid to figure it out, and it's terrible because Clark is the worst liar in the universe.

Also, somebody who's not yet Superman is not going to be fighting beings like Doomsday when they're still like 20. It's just not going to happen. I'm not even getting started on creepy stuff like how they're totally sexualizing someone who's playing a minor because she is their eye candy on the show. Lana and Kristin deserved better! The female lead who basically existed to further the two guys' storylines for like three seasons finally gets her own story... but it's about being possessed by an ancient witch or some shit? They are actually sexualizing her near death experience, like some kind of creepy PG snuff film (who actually made the decision of trying to make Lana being slowly suffocated a weird sexy vibe?! So fucking problematic I don't even know where to start). And then the male lead's other love interest is summarily killed by their cardboard cutout villain of the week with his lack of character development, simply so that she can't get in the way of Supes' future storyline, because she was literally created only to be a roadblock to his future goals, masquerading as something to keep him from actually being lonely to death. All she did wrong was to wish she could free of stigma about Mental Health... then shortly afterward, when she was essentially killed about it, he turns around and is fine again because he gets a football scholarship. What the fuck?! (Yes, I'm looking at you, Pariah).

I can't even with this show sometimes. I'm so glad I quit when I did. I tend to forget how insane and Incredibly questionable a lot of it is until I have to watch something of it in order to rewrite it. But I guess that's why there's fanfic in the first place!

[onthecrosslook]

Three Acts

Note: @call-me-moo Here goes nothing…

Epilogue

(From this point onward, the chapters will not be illustrated. I attempted to illustrate them, but it diverges from canon so much that I couldn’t find a single scene that worked. I’m really sorry about it. But still, I hope you enjoy the epilogue…and whatever that entails.)

I’m in a wheelchair at Mary’s funeral. The doctors told John I was too weak to leave the hospital, but I insisted on going. Their concerns were warranted, after all- the last time I left, I nearly bled out in an abandoned building. But having my best friend…

Perhaps maybe more…?

I shake the thought away.

I can’t ruin this.

Being with John is the least I can do, and the most I could ever ask for.

I don’t deserve him.

Everyone that was there to pay their respects have already left- not that many people came to begin with. Most washed their hands of the whole situation when they found out who Mary truly was, and what she had done to us. Only John and I stayed afterwards.

Together. Once again, together.

We remain at the grave, respectively sitting and standing in companionable silence. Neither of us are sure what to say- to each other, or to Mary, I’m not sure. It’s fairly overcast, and I can see the beginnings of storm clouds rolling in above us.

How appropriate.

I exhale and tentatively steal a glance at John. He looks calm, but I can see a range of emotions flashing in his blue eyes as he stares at Mary’s gravestone. One of his hands is balled into a shaking fist, and the other loosely holds a bouquet of white lilies.

“Sherlock,” he murmurs, his voice cracking with emotion and painful, unsaid words. “Sherlock, what…what am I supposed to say…?”

He killed his wife.

I swallow hard. I’m not sure what to say, either, but anything I could do…“Do…would you like me to speak first?”

He killed his wife for me.

John nods stiffly and stands back, before hesitating and pushing my chair a bit closer. He looks as though he wants to say something to me, but he bites back the words and keeps them to himself.

I take a deep, shaky breath. “…Mary. I…I…want you to know that…Even if- if you shot me. Even if you…with Rosie…Even after all that, I- I think…I forgive you. You were selfish. And you- you lied, and you hurt everyone. But…you were also kind. And you were selfless, sometimes. And I saw some of the love you had f-for everyone, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

Where is this coming from? I hated Mary, I hated her, I really did, I hated her smile and her words and her subtle manipulation throughout the entirety of our fabricated friendship-

“Sherlock…” John says softly, urging me to stop getting lost in my mind. It’s funny how he can do that with a single look…

I can’t stop. Not now.

“-And…and I know I should be…the last person who tells you about love, because…because I’ve only truly…truly known what it meant after meeting John.” I don’t look at John. I’m too afraid of how he’ll react. “And…and you. I don’t…believe in the afterlife, you’re aware. But…I- I hope…” I feel hot tears burning my eyes. “I hope you’re at peace, Mary.”

John rests a hand on my shoulder as I choke back tears. I flinch at the sudden contact. He doesn’t say anything further as I take deep breaths to regain my composure.

I shouldn’t be this emotional. I shouldn’t care.

“Sherlock,” he repeats again, the barest trace of a smile on his face. “How- how do I compete with that?”

I laugh and lean into his touch. It feels warm, comforting, loving.

It feels right.

I smile weakly back at him. “Just say what's on your mind. You’ll be all right.” And I mean it. He will be all right.

He sighs and walks forward. A moment passes before he finally builds up the courage to begin speaking- and once he starts, it all rushes out of him like an unblockaded river. “Mary. You were my wife. Once. And…and yes, I shot you. But you shot Sherlock, so I think we’re even. You were a liar. And a killer. But I suppose that’s my type, yeah? I can’t help going for the crazy ones. It’s…it’s my addiction.” He glances towards me, pain in his eyes, before looking back. “I just…I don’t think I could forgive you, normally. But…if…if Sherlock could- if my favourite bloody sociopath could find it in his heart to…I…I think I can, too. Goodbye, Mary. I think I’ll be happier now.”

He deserves it. John Watson has been through far too much heartache, he deserves to have a bit of happiness.

“John, are you all right?”

His expression lightens a bit, as though he’s gotten a lot off of his chest.

I suppose, in a way, he has. Catharsis can be a wonderful thing.

“Yeah, Sherlock. I’m all right. For the first time…in…in a while. Come on. I’ve got to finish moving my stuff back to Baker Street, and I’ll be damned if you use being shot as an excuse not to help.”

I smile softly. “No excuses?”

“None,” he agrees, before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss against my lips. “I think we’ve been making excuses for far too long.”

I know we have. Things will be different, at first. It’ll take a bit of getting used to. But I think we can do it.

Sherlock Holmes…and John Watson.

¿?MThIeSS?MEnd¿???

“R, sweetheart, do you have eyes on Sherlock Holmes?” A smooth voice- just like honey- creeps into R’s ear like a particularly cunning virus.

R swallows bitterly as her lips curl into a snarl. “Yes, sir. He’s at the grave,” she growls, her American accent feeling much more natural than the British one she had been faking for so many years.

“Excellent,” the voice says, which isn’t the most original comment, considering how many criminal masterminds have said ‘excellent’ in regards to evil plans before. “Ugh, isn’t he boring?”

“Who?” R asks reluctantly.

“John. So plain, so obviously in love- oh, I think he finally kissed his little boytoy! Bravo, John, it only took you five years!” The voice is taunting, emanating energy as though it would never again have a chance to play. “I’m sorry, that’s a bit of a sore spot, isn’t it?”

“Of course not, sir,” R says curtly, ignoring the previous musings. “Would you like me to eliminate them?”

“No, no, no!” the voice shouts viciously, making R flinch. “Don’t you dare touch a single curl on that pretty thing’s head! I want Sherlock to recover and be healthy for our next round.” He says ‘round’ as though it’s such an intimate thing- it’s altogether rather surreal.

As much as R would like to put a bullet in each of their heads, she controls her impulses. God knows what he would do to her if she did. “Yes, sir.”

The voice groans. “Stop with the formalities, Mary. It’s so dull, and you of all people should know how much I despise dull people.” He lowers his tone to something dark and deathly soft. “Refer to me as ‘sir’ one more time, and I will string your bloody corpse up in Regent’s Park for the birds to have at you.”

Mary swallows, her gun shaking violently from her sniper’s post. “With all due respect, Mr. Moriarty, Mary is no longer my name,” she whispers.

“Ah, well, it suits you!” Moriarty exclaims over the comms, his voice back to its regular gusto. “Head back to the car, Mary. We need to discuss your punishment.”

Mary pales. “Punishment, Mr. Moriarty? But- I haven’t-“

He laughs. It sends shivers up her spine. “Mary, Mary, quite the contrary,” he quips. “You nearly killed my favourite pet. Shooting him near the heart- tsk, tsk, I expected better of you. The little joke about saying ‘hi’ to me was clever, too, but I can’t have this go unnoticed. We’re both professionals, I’m sure you understand!”

“But-“

Moriarty interrupts her with a shout. “BUT I suppose I’ll be lenient, just this once.” He seems to be barely holding back deranged giggles. “Instead of taking your hand, I’ll settle for a finger. Off you pop!”

The line cuts off abruptly as Mary feels a needle plunge into her neck, and she suddenly wishes she hadn’t worn a bulletproof vest when confronting Sherlock…

~

(To Be Continued!)

Act One linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656892650818011136/three-acts

Act Two linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656968775195934720/three-acts

Act Three linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656990419321864192/three-acts

Act Four linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/657145687996301312/three-acts

[full-of-roman-angst-trash]

A Prince’s Room

Part 2

Concept by @yeet-ceit

TW: Unsympathetic Sides (Except for Roman), Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, Cursing, Arguing, Injury? (Roman gets slapped). If I missed any, pleased tell me and I will add it.

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1807

Roman wants to be perfect. No, he needs to be perfect. And part of being perfect is being a good friend. Roman loves the other sides. He loves them more than anything in the world. Even more than Disney and musical theater. His friends are the main reason why his still holding on. He doesn’t want to lose them. He can’t lose them. He won’t survive if he does.

So, to make sure he doesn’t he takes notes. He writes down ways to make sure he’s constantly improving. Any bad habits that the others point out or flaws he writes down and tries to fix. 

The lists went on and on. Hung up on the walls of his room to make sure he always remembers. And as time goes on, more and more is added to the list. Every small addition getting him one step closer to perfection.

Remember to keep your voice level normal. Don’t talk too loudly.

Stop being so dramatic, you're taking too much attention away from the others.

Don’t be too confident, it comes off as cocky and no one like someone that’s too cocky.

Don’t rant about your interest for too long it gets annoying and boring.

Don’t be selfish, no one likes a selfish person.

....................

The chart came along a few months later. 

Roman had already been taking notes on how to please his friends however he decided to reorganize his notes into a chart. Each side had their own section containing list of what they liked, disliked, what cheered them up, and what upsets them.

Logan

Likes: Crofters, astrology, coffee, books, teaching, silence, human anatomy, schedules, deadlines, Thomas being productive, debating, constellations, being listened to, law, learning, classical music, poetry, Sherlock.

Dislikes: Being ignored, unnecessary emotions, sweets, dumb people, someone being too loud, childish movies, games, being behind schedule, illogical decisions, jokes, unrealistic dreams.

What makes him happy?: Stargazing, writing, meeting deadlines, winning debates, telling random facts, rapping, his onesie, reading, being left alone, being called cool, teaching.

What upsets him?: Being treated as a joke, being teased, being reminded of his mistakes, making mistakes, being ignored or overlooked, losing a debate, feeling dumb.

Patton

Likes: Cookies, drawing, cure animals, compliments, happy songs, seeing his friends happy, t.v shows, helping others, singing, dancing, playing dress up, stuffed animals, gifts, holidays, baking, sweets.

Dislikes: Screaming, loud noises, getting stuff thrown at him, blood, weapons, violence, seeing his friends injured, sad movies and stories.

What makes him happy?: Cuddles, movie nights, being showered with affection, cookies, drawing, karaoke nights, talking about his emotions, playing games with his friends, helping others, his onesie. 

What upsets him?: Seeing an animal die, seeing people in pain, being forced to grow up, seeing his friends in hurt, not being able to help someone, disappointing someone, letting Thomas down, letting his emotions control him.

Virgil

Likes: Candles, alternative music, spiders, his hoodie, Tim Burton films, My Chemical Romance, headphones, fidget cubes, staying up late, drama shows, bats, knives, collecting pins.  

Dislikes: The ocean, sudden loud noises, cheesy pop music, people that are too optimistic (except for Patton), someone being mean to his friends,

What makes him happy?: Doing makeup, painting his nails, listening to music, Patton’s baking, playing with his pet spider, meditating, watching murder myterious, watching Disney and Tim Burton movies.

What upsets him?: Being put on the spot, being called evil, being treated like an innocent kid, being called a darkside, being called a disorder rejection, talk about serious topics such as suicide and self harm. 

Remus

Likes: Gore, blood, mud, fighting, collecting weapons, deodorant, musicals, inappropriate jokes, Fleischer Studios, pranks, dancing, mythical creatures, things that glow in the dark, random t.v shows, horror movie, slime, candy, octopus, skirts, crop tops.

Dislikes: Cheesy love songs, rules, normal food aside from fast food, birds, learning, shaving, reading, romance movies/shows, backstabbers, lying, shaving cream, showers, losing fights.

What makes him happy?: Dissecting stuff, fighting, pranking others, dancing, singing, coming up with outfit ideas, punching stuff, playing with slime, reenacting horror movies, inappropriate jokes, hanging out in his trash can, being pet, Shrek, eating deodorant, someone doing his makeup.

What upsets him?: Being abandoned or left behind, being told he isn’t good enough, being compared to me, seeing Janus upset, seeing Virgil upset, being told to shave.

Janus

Like: Snakes, philosophy, Greek mythology, sewing, horror movies, mystery books, murder documentaries, self care, sleeping, warm baths, weighted blankets, debating, law.

Dislikes: The cold, when someone takes his hat, dumb comedy movies, eagles, action movies, unnecessary violence or gore, close minded people, liars, sharing secrets, being vulnerable. 

What makes hims happy?: Massages, weighted blankets, cuddling, hanging out with Remus, acting, having debates, seeing Remus and Virgil playfully argue, watching murder mysteries, singing.

What upsets him?: Being called evil, being ignored, seeing Remus or Virgil upset, Thomas not taking care of himself, being replaced, being left behind, people not understanding him, someone making fun of his scales, taking off his gloves.

....................

“Come on pussy! Let’s just march into his room, what’s the worse that could happen?”

“Language!” Patton quickly scolds Remus.

“What if he’s in there and he screams at us for barging in?! What if he gets really mad and chooses to get physical!? What if we see something we don’t want to!? What if he’s asleep and he get mad that we woke him up!? What if-”

“Virgil,” Logan interrupts the panicking side, “Your anxiety is causing you to catastrophize. Please, take a deep breath and try to filter out your cognitive distortion.”

The anxious side nods and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.

“Now, I would like to add that I personally believe that Remus’ plan isn’t the worst idea ever and is currently the best one we have.” The logical side states.

“Well, while I love to agree with Remus, he is wrong in this instance,” 

Remus smirks widely, “Awe! Thanks Jany~ You’re too generous~”

The deceitful side rolls his eyes, “Let’s just go.”

“Fine,” Virgil stands up, looking rather done with everything.

The rest of the sides stand up as well and begin to make their way to the prince’s room.

Once they make it to his door, Remus immediately just breaks the door down and lets himself in.

“Surprise!”

 They walk in, greeted only by silence.

“He isn’t here?” Patton mumbles to himself.

“Doesn’t look like it. Let’s not go then.”

The other sides nod and start making their way out. Well, everyone except for Logan. 

The logical side instead gets distracted by a paper stabled to the wall. He walks over to it and reads it to himself. Once he’s done reading his looks around the room and notices all the papers on the wall. As well, as the lack of theater and Disney merchandise.

“Wait, doesn't Roman’s room look,” He pauses to search for the right words, “Wrong?”

The other sides stop walking and looks around.

“Now that you mention it,” Remus mumbles, “His room has changed a lot since I last saw it...”

The other start reading through the endless papers of tips to improve himself and advice. 

Suddenly Patton stops in front of a chart titled “Duties”

He slowly goes over it and buy the time he is done he is fuming with rage.

“What the hell!? Guys come look at this!”

The others go over, slightly amused and concerned.

Each of them take turns analyzing the chart. 

Roman had spend his day at the Imagination. After the whole wedding accident, he’s been stuck in a very toxic place and well he thought a small guest might help. So, he left early in the morning and began his guest. He hadn’t meant to stay there for as long as he did but he lost track of time. 

“Kiddo, we have a lot to talk about,” Patton mumbles in a passive aggressive tone.

....................

As the tired side starts approaching his room, he notices that all the either sides are gathered outside his room. Once he’s a bit closer, Virgil is the first to notice him. To his shock though, Virgil rushes to him and slaps him

“Roman, what the fuck!?”

Roman stands there shocked for a few minutes before looking at Patton, expecting to hear him scold Virgil. Instead however, Patton just look away from him.

“ANSWER ME!”

“I-...” Roman bites his lip to hold back the tears in his eyes, “I-I don’t understand... W-what did I do....?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!?”

The prince-like-side flinches and looks down.

Remus puts a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, "Let me handle this.”

For some reason, Roman thought that Remus would be on his side. He thought that if anyone understood what he was trying to do, it would be his brother. Or that his brother would at least explain what happened and let him tell his part of the story.

So, he looked up with a hopeful expression. 

“Don’t look at me like that. What the fuck is wrong with you!? If you think we were such a hassle then why did you stay friends with us!?”

Any hope that Roman had immediately leaves his body, “I-I... I never said that! Where is this coming?!”

“DON’T BULLSHIT ME, ROMAN!” Remus summons his morning star, “WE SAW THE FUCKING CHART! SO, WHAT!? WE’RE NOTHING MORE THAN “DUTIES” TO YOU!?” 

The usual confident side is now frozen in shock. They weren’t supposed to see that chart. They weren’t supposed to see his room at all. If Roman was being honest, he could understand why they took the chart the wrong way. The name of it wasn’t exactly the best but it was all he could think of while actually making it. Now though, he wished he would have pushed himself to think of a better name.

“N-No! You got it all wrong!” He is now crying, flinching away from his brother, “I was just trying to make you guys happy!”

Remus scoffs and puts his weapon away. He walks away from Roman and returns to Janus’ side.

“Whatever, Roman.”

His knees give out and he falls to the floor in defeat.

“I would greatly appreciate if you keep your distance from Patton and I from now on. If you fail to do so, I can’t exactly guarantee that I will be nice. Goodbye Roman.”

“Fucking pussy.” Remus throws out.

And just like that Logan sinks down with a crying Patton.

“And I thought I was the snake,” Janus adds, looking at him in pure disgust.

Then, they’re gone.

For a few seconds Virgil stares at the broken prince in front of him.

“You really are an idiot.”

He looks away from him and sinks down with a scoff leaving the weeping prince on the floor. 

Alone.

....................

[staggeringsmite]

HELLO! just finished properly listening to your (amazing!) corruption arc playlist! I have many thoughts, and so I wanted to ask you about specific moments and/or characters that you associate with songs (as mentioned in your tags), as I am simply SO intrigued. (did you have certain songs that were added for certain character(s)? were any songs for specific what if's? etc.) also, please consider this a free pass to ramble about anything related to the playlist that you wish. it is SO excellent!!

AHHHH!! thank you jade (both for the compliment and the free space to yell about my thoughts here because when i get playlist brainrot i get it Bad <3) // the playlist in question

i think i'm genuinely going to do a song-by-song thoughts below the cut, but here are some overview thoughts/associations if you don't wanna read all of that or don't have the time!

overall this started with athena by nova twins! i thought the sp*der imagery and overall vibe was great for a more sinister look at the wacky (mostly) chaotic neutral party as they are, just going full lolth. i wanted the pacing to be semi-slow and then drop into the more rock-heavy reckless villain-y section before moving into a (?) bittersweet? i guess? end that feels a bit more like a question mark of if it was worth it.

i think this party is full of extremely interesting motivations to side with an evil power for their own gain/the benefit of the people they care about, and each one of them has a very complex relationship with that so things spun wildly out of control as a thought about this.

for songs i associate with specific characters here's an overview, but you'll notice there aren't a lot for fy'ra rai or orym which i get into a bit more in the song-by-song:

all: i come with knives, into the spin, steady/steady, control, bad dreams / lolth: million years, athena, diggers / dariax: diggers, plenty, hollow / dorian: athena, grenadine, dangerous / fearne: plenty, you should see me in a crown, black wave / fy'ra rai: home / opal: home, grenadine, black wave, you should see me in a crown / orym: i'm not calling you a liar, dangerous

song-by-song >:)

1. i come with knives (acoustic) - this song, zoowee, so i went with the acoustic version because i think it's a nice slow but sinister start and it very much gave me the feeling of whenever you begin as a character to question taking this kind of power, that is a Source yes that you can do whatever with but is rooted in temptation and associated with evil, is there any real justification for that which is not in some part selfish. "i come with knives and agony to love you" if that isn't the chosen ones to a T in their overall reasoning for even considering a deal with lolth. and as much as that may be rooted in care, and wanting to be strong and powerful enough to protect the people they care about, it is a painful way to love when you really choose that path once and for all.

2. into the spin - this one is based on "slow climb but quick to descend" and i love the instrumentation as a part of the overall vibe, but it's about sowing the seed here. planting even a hint of consideration in accepting the power of the circlet and lolth's words is going to need time for the person to mull it over, but once it's on it is On baby.

3. million years - this is what i mean by All In Baby, and while it isn't the playlists narrative point of anyone actually accepting the power for good, it is a glimpse intended to shake things up after an 8 minute slow start with the first two songs, and this is all about lolth who is a Chaotic Evil entity, who is a reckless and hauntingly destructive force <3

4. home - "everything you made will end up broken" i think this song to fy'ra rai is more of an omen, of everything that she cannot fix but wants to, knowing that she cannot make choices for the group and seeing the potential path they could wind up on and knowing that fundamentally if they go that way it is their decision no matter how much it will hurt her - for opal there is SOMETHING about the tone of this song that feels very much like her, and the complete lack of care it seems to have to rattle off mundane things to the intimate drama of the place, to omens, to demands/declarations i think it shows her personality well and how that pairs with a chaotic neutral entity being offered something like the power of the circlet

5. steady, steady - idk if this is necessarily everyone but the mix of you know when you're ready and i am ready to be the one, this is the song about taking the leap and grabbing for power and/or fy'ra rai and orym's feelings of diving in with them or resisting/leaving them

6. diggers - for lolth this is just the consistent "i've been waiting for you" in the bg which i found fun and disconcering but also i think this is the perfect party and perfect storm for her to convince someone to use the circlets power >:) - for dariax! it seems with what we know he doesn't really know that he is a divine soul sorcerer? unless that is a show he is putting up. still, i feel like him carrying the circlet is Very interesting as someone with a divine bloodline who is in a way being given/chosen for that type of power holding onto this artifact born from evil and perhaps being tempted by it & i think this song works as an interesting back and forth for him with the strange double-entity grab for him in a way

7. athena - truly just a banger that fit the vibes wayyyy too well and started this whole thing, it's loud and reckless and out for blood babey <3 - i think i associate it with dorian mostly because i also associate it with lolth and he is the closest to really taking that leap in canon (and also probably the first one the go if we're following this playlist like a story with everyone/most everyone going corrupt, though it can be read truly infinite ways these are just compiled songs) i think it has a certain flair and appeal that just makes me Feel like it's the song that would play the second dorian puts the circlet on (which! fun fact! decreases your charisma by 2! have fun beloved bard!) - i think it's a very intense conversation

8. i’m not calling you a liar - okayokayokay it's orym thought time bc there are sooo many worlds and routes for orym here and i truly have no idea where he would even end up in this hypothetical. do i think that orym loves these guys and wants to protect them? yes. do i think that he may genuinely take the pain of loving them and keep his morals by walking away and/or turning on them if they all go evil? maybe. do i think he also might love them enough to throw that away? maybe. in a party of all chaotic neutrals besides him without fy'ra rai he is surprisingly the wild card here. while they have each other and no one else, he has the teachings and wisdom of the voice of the tempest and a moral compass that does not align with theirs at all. so, something has to give! dorian's slide into chaotic neutral was natural, but i think orym would be giving up Much More of himself to let himself slide from neutral good to chaotic neutral. i have no answers only sad, sad hypotehtical questions and scenarios so i will just, leave you with "and i love you so much, i'm gonna let you kill me." - this song also comes here before the storm of the 3-5 because whatever way he goes i think orym sees it all happen before anyone else does.

9. grenadine - Do Not Tell Me You Couldn't Hear villainous opal and dorian say the lines "what a big heart i have, i'll be your savior now. what a real catch i am, all the more to pull you down." - i see this song as playful but more genuine for dorian in terms of Truly Really believing any action he does to protect his friends is justified and good to him in his eyes whereas this is a very playful song for a villainous opal - they both give off this vibe strongly though (could see this one for fearne as well but don't have a good a justification)

10. black wave - helloooooo my favorite druid and warlock?? going apeshit with power? more so than they already are on a day-to-day basis (esp given episode 6 combat)? that's what this song is about. "stumbling down the street i swear to god you don't wanna test me" - i also think they both have an interesting question with "what do i believe?" with fearne being of the feywild which is a place of considerably different moral standing to exandria and opal being so young that she doesn't have the world figured out at all <3 terrifying and upsetting when you get into those questions on a corruption arc <3

11. you should see me in a crown - okay i knooooow this one is on the dorian playlist BUT vibes for my brutal babes <333 something about opal’s whole personality and fearne confronting the mirror self But eventually choosing/heading down the path anyway?? impeccable i love it there’s very few other thoughts here

12. control - OKAY not only does this song Fuck but i put it as party wide because i think it transitions nicely into the end of the mix which is more of the “questioning this decision after going all in but not being able to turn back/was it all worth it in the end?” part - i mostly love the “though i like the idea of providence... i’m in love with control” repeated because! i think the circlet is very interesting in that it has been iterated many times over that though it has connections to lolth and she has some claim/twisted abilities with it, it IS just a power source. so, the idea of going all in and accepting this power is an incredibly interesting dilemma of “who’s in charge here? did you really put it on/would you have without these dreams and lolth’s influence? are you really in control?” i think this song really represents that admission/delusion of control in this situation.

13. plenty - okay this song in any context is just my Feywild/Faerie Vibe song so i think this trails back to my feelings about fearne leaning into that different set of fey morals along a corruption arc, and as for dariax i think this is about abundance! following through that mixture of divine power source and chaotic evil god origin over dariax and his chaotic history of vast and varied experiences in emon, i think this very much befits a corrupt version of him.

14. dangerous - this song makes me insane, and the first reason i put it on the mix was the “the dead are true believers. rest assured. we are all believers” really just made me think of a terrible and cinematic moment of them discovering the circlet with the dead aboard the ship ESP in the context of this playlist’s narrative where that was the point they were destined to claim its power and go through their corruption arc - “how does it feel to be your own deceiver?” is the main reason and feeling as for why i made this a dorian song as well in line with “don’t worry i would do anything for my friends.” bc i personally find dorian’s corruption arc to be disillusioned with his own intentions and takes a lot of convincing himself that taking this power for his friends is noble in the scope of this group’s collective morals and self-interest in keeping each other safe and prosperous so <3

15. hollow - woowee dariax corruption, at least in this scope, i think is very frightening to me in that i think he’s going full maximalist, abundant, greedy, impulsive chaotic evil if we’re realllly leaning into a villain arc but still many of those things if we’re just going “this group is the only thing that matters and i’ll do anything for them no matter the cost” - i also think this song has a tone of resentment towards this? apprehension a bit? recognizing that this is how the person singing is but not entirely enjoying or feeling justified in it? as impulsive as dariax is, i think he cares A Lot, and is even a character i could see pulling a reverse dorian and going chaotic good in a different story than we’re in? “so simple when i was younger” and “i’d be a dancer of a different tune” really give me angsty dariax vibes in the height of his corruption arc

16. bad dreams - “don't you worry about your bad dreams cause I'm not in them. don't you worry about what change brings cause you can't stop it.” WOOF i don’t know that this one really needs to be explained but it’s the climax and the descent all in one of the party/corrupted individual being too far gone in their decision to step back or be saved. i think the tone of the song lends itself well to a mixture of uncaring but also giving some question to if they regret it or not based on the narration of the crowd against them.

[boopypastaissalty]

Here sre some of my Sanders Sides theories. Long post btw so yee

Roman and Remus were originally one all-encompassing creativity, then they split and become the two different sides of creativity, or the "Creativitwins". Their names seem to follow a theme: Ancient Rome, specifically the legend surrounding the creation/beginning of Rome. I think that the original creativity's name was Romulus. Here's why: Remus killed Romulus over a land dispute and then started the city of Rome in his brother's name. Citizens of Rome are called Romans. Though it could be argued that Thomas's moral sense as a concept, not necessarily Patton, separated the two, thus "killing" the original creativity.

Patton may have suffered from anxiety and could have created Virgil as a way to relieve some of his stress, therefore making him Virgil's "dad" in a sense, in Patton's mind warranting him calling Virgil "kiddo" all the time.

We all know that Patton is allergic to cats, but what about the others? What are their weaknesses? My speculations are that Virgil is iron deficient, as he doesn't like to rise up because it makes him dizzy, he is also described by Roman to be the "fairest of them all" and then admitting it was a pale joke in Virgil's expense. Roman is lactose intolerant, as when Patton is feeding him cream of broccoli soup, Logan says that it will "upset Princey's stomach". Logan is OCD: Always planning and organizing things. He gets upset when things don't go exactly as he plans it. He also feels the need to always be right and to make sure everyone else is kept in line. Also: Patton seems to suffer from depression. Oftentimes depressed people crack jokes and give people the general idea that they are happy. They also try to make other people happy. Patton also sometimes gets into these sad funks and even says "I had this problem where I'd hide my less than awesome feelings, so when I would feel like sobbing I'd just smile and crack jokes. I thought that was coping, only joking, never showing sadness, hoping it would just go away".

The thumbnail for "Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux" has a character selection screen telling the viewer to "select a side", but one thing I noticed is that there is a blank box, indicating a locked character or a character who hasn't been revealed yet. Another thing I noticed is that the sides have a rainbow theme going on. Thomas even says that he is "full rainbow all the time" as an allusion to his sexuality, and possibly even the sides in general. Roman is red, there is no known orange side, Janus is yellow, Remus is green, Patton is light blue, Logan is indigo, and Virgil is violet/purple. Red is the color of physical strength, power, confidence, and passion, which suits Roman's personality. Yellow can be happiness and joy, but also directly means cowardice and deceit, which is self explanatory. Green is a color of healing, life, and vitality, but the flip side being greed, jealousy, pessimism, and superficially. Blue is the color of trust, loyalty, faith, wisdom, truth, patience, and understanding, which sums Patton up pretty well. Indigo resembles wisdom, integrity, fairness, impartiality, and justice, which is all right up Logan's alley. Violet is the color of ambition, dignity, devotion, pride, mystery, independence, magic, being cynical, and mourning, which all makes sense in Virgil's case. Now to orange, which resembles joy, sunshine, risk taking, adventure, enthusiasm, creativity, attraction, success, rudeness, frivolity, and untrustworthiness, which is a balance of traits that both Roman and Remus have and directly resembles creativity, so orange could be a fusion of Roman and Remus, the original creativity before they split. Another possibility for the next side is someone who resembles ethos, as we have pathos and logos (Patton and Logan).

All the sides have an ancient Rome theme going on. Roman and Remus, after the legend surrounding the beginning of Rome. Virgil, after the Roman poet Publius Vergilius Maro, who is often called Virgil. Janus (formerly known as Deceit) after the Roman god of the same name (Janus is the god of new beginnings and transitions, often depicted with two faces facing in opposite directions, one for the past and one for the future). All of the sides except for Patton and Logan, whose names are derived from pathos and logos, an ancient Greek concept proposed by Aristotle. And have you noticed that they mirror each other in almost every way, suggesting that, much like Roman and Remus, they are brothers, possibly even twins?

Dukes tend to not be a part of the royal family, but if so they are princes who have gotten married. Does this mean that Remus is married?!?!? If so to whoooo?

Welcome to me overthinking things again! What if Roman has control over the other sides? Like he's creativity and the sides are figments of Thomas' imagination, so like what if one day he was just done with Logan's nonstop fact train he just (this is extreme) went: "Fuck you, Logan, you're dead now" and Logan straight up dies? Like where would his power end if he could do that? Overthinking things can be scary kids, let me do it for you.

If you overthink it: Patton basically just was like "Nah" in POF SvSR. So he said in SvS that going to the wedding would make Thomas feel good, something that he basically controls because he is Thomas' moral sense and at the center of most of his feelings. Basically Thomas went to the wedding and Patton was like: "This is nice and all and you did the right thing, but uhmmm about those happy feelings. No." And then got all sorts of frustrated about being wrong. So yee. I am just doing the overthinking things thing again.

What if creativity split solely as a big "Fuck you, Logan"? Like I just imagine: C: "Hey Logan, I'm performing mitosis"

L: "Yes, your cells- *he looks up* Whaaaaa?"

R&R: "Cha cha real smooth, Logan"

And thus the twins were "born"

Logan thinks feelings are bad and claims to not have feelings, even though he clearly does (cough, cough, Crofters the Musical? Getting angry in some episodes? Logan, you're a bad liar, bud). So he bottles up most of his feelings, for all practical purposes making him a ticking time bomb. Something's probably going to happen and he won't be able to hold it all in and he'll have an emotional breakdown of sorts. Another thing is he will not duck out. He knows he's too important to Thomas' mental wellbeing for that. He is also getting progressively more angry as the others listen to him less, so he's probably going to overwork himself trying to get everyone to listen to the point where he physically can't be there for Thomas. Cuz like I suspect Logan leaving would have the same effect as Thomas having a massive stroke: The right side of his body wouldn't work, he wouldn't be able to talk/communicate, and his reasoning skills would be gone.

Janus just loves philosophy. Every episode in the main timeline, he makes references to famous philosophers to get his point across.

Patton is always the first of the light sides to accept the dark sides. First with Virgil and then with Janus. He may be taking them in as his troubled but lovable children who he will defend under almost any circumstance.

Virgil's name is not Virgil. People think his full name is Virgilius, though Thomas and Joan have previously stated that it isn’t. Bc of that, some people have theorized that Virgil was lying about his name, or that when he moved to the “light sides” he changed/used a different name, and maybe they’re going to reveal that sometime. Like the scene with Remus and Vee where Re goes, “I would never hide anything from you” looks pointedly at Virgil, and you assume it’s bc he took forever to tell Thomas, but what if it’s bc he was lying about his name from the moment he told Thomas??? And also the moment when Janus says "It takes a liar to know a liar" and Virgil says "Don't" and the response was "What? I'm only talking about your name" I think his name could be Acanthus

Ya know, Patton probably has an indirect role in how the other sides look. Not like "But you're anxiety, you wear the hoodie" but closer to Thomas beliefs of stuff like lying is bad and the fact that Janus often plays devils advocate, so he has a snake face

Random thoughts:

Virgil has the most ace/demi aesthetic and I love that

SvS: Multi part episode, "bad/evil/dark" side gets accepted, the FEELS, angst. Hmmm…

The twins getting along and just like sitting at a table causing minor chaos.

Patton randomly hugs everyone. He just does.

Janus and Patton: animal bros

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “friction”. In mirror world. Doug’s getting a little frantic, desperately trying to communicate with anyone who’s willing to look at him. But once they see it’s him they scoff and walk away. Mostly defeated he goes to where his locker usually is. As he’s searching for his spare cell phone somebody kicks him in the side of his leg)

Mirror!Ben: hey dwarfy

(Doug looks up in gratitude. But it’s not the Ben he knows. This one looks crueller, meaner, more snide. Definitely not the kind soul who’s been his best friend since he’s been born)

Mirror!Ben (mockingly): urgh urgh urgh, c’mon chucklefuck say something. Oh wait, I forgot, you can’t. Here’s Princess Audrey’s homework. You know the rules. She expects an A+ essay. If she doesn’t get the grade she wants and deserves. Your head gets a one way ticket to swirlie town. A’ight?

Mirror!Audrey: is the scrud bothering you?

Mirror!Ben: no your highness. I’m just reminding it of its place. Sixteen rungs below us.

Mirror!Audrey: good, that’s good. Now come with me. The king wants us.

(Doug, having found his phone, send Ben a text message)

Mirror!Ben: “where’s Mal?” Hm. What the fuck is a Mal?

Doug: Mal. Elsa’s adoptive daughter. You’re engaged. You love her. She’s the only one who can help us. Please you have got to believe me!

(From Ben and Audrey’s point of view Doug is just flapping his mouth open. All that’s coming out is vague squeaking noises)

Mirror!Audrey: what’s it doing?

Mirror!Ben: the idiocy’s probably spreading to his tiny little brain. Let’s bounce before we’re infected

(The leave. Doug runs back to the bathroom he arrived in. He takes a few shuddering breaths. And pulls the sink off the wall in rage)

Doug: I need to find. I need to find them. Argh I’d want Evie here but I don’t want to scar her for life. Oh my god. The isle. I just go to the isle and...how am I going to get there? Think Doug think. You were valedictorian for fucks sake! Ooooh. That could work.

(He scrunches up his face. The bathroom melts away and is replaced with a near barren courtyard full of stone statues of children of varying ages)

Doug: oh no. Oh nonononono. This can’t be happening. No please no

(He goes to the Evie statue and caresses it’s shorn head)

Doug (near tears): please don’t let this be happening.

(This is when “so close happens. After the song the dark fairy approaches him)

Maleficent: very well done you clever clever little boy

(Doug pulls off a piece of wrought iron fence and aims it at her neck)

Doug: what do you want

Maleficent: that performance was uh, incredibly moving

Doug: I’m touched. Now what do you want. Because I know this isn’t Chad. He doesn’t give a shit about the island. So this is all your doing.

Maleficent: this is your nightmare dear. So this is, as you say, all you

Doug: I wouldn’t dream of this.

Maleficent: not a pleasant one, no, but one of your greatest fears is being alone and the queens daughter still being on the island is it not?

Doug: yes but

Maleficent: so logically, you dreamed of it happening at least once in your life

Doug: I guess so but

Maleficent: walk with me

(She grasps his shoulder and steers him through the square)

Maleficent: you may be wandering why I am here

Doug: no, I’ve always wanted the birth mother of my girlfriends sister to haunt my mind so this is a giant win for me

Maleficent: ahhh sarcasm, I like that in a boy

Doug: I’m eighteen

Maleficent: yes, but compared to me, you are still a child, insignificant, unimportant, of no use whatsoever to anyone, that is, after all, your worst fear. But I can help you. I can help you become so much more

Doug: I don’t want anything from you. You’re a monster. That’s all you’ll ever be

Maleficent (chuckling good naturedly): oh my sweet little boy. I think I should explain something to. Now pay attention

(This is when “open up your eyes” happens)

Maleficent: so you see my sweet dear little boy. It is best to join me. Or you shall always be alone

Doug (chuckling darkly): you fucking liar.

Maleficent: beg pardon

Doug: this is my dream. As you keep saying. So it stands to reason I have a great measure of control. Which means I can do this!

(He telekinetically shoves her into outside wall)

Maleficent: how, how?!

Doug (multiplying by the hundreds): my dream my rules. You are not hurting my family

(All the Doug’s send the wrought iron pipes straight to the dark fairy’s heart. But she shifts into Mal. The iron pipes disappear)

Doug: not fair

Mal!Maleficent: whoever said I had to play fair?

(She distenergrates the Doug duplicates until the original is left and wraps him up in the iron)

Mal!Maleficent: one thing gives me a query though. You do not falter to maim me. But do so when I take my daughters form. When you still know that under this guise it is I in reality. Why is that?

Doug: not telling. You’ll just use it against us

Mal!Maleficent: hm smart boy. I admire that. Now. I shall once again offer you a choice. Forsake the “heroes” and join me and win. Or. Stay stagnant and lose. Your decision little one

Doug: fuck. Off

Maleficent: your choice. You shall stay here until I win. And then. You’ll be king Chad’s vizier

(At the mention of this Doug roars in anger and the iron bindings fly at the dark fairy. She dodged. What follows in a far more serious version of the introductory fight between Peter and Gamora from guardians of the galaxy with Maleficent shifting from Mal to Ben to Gil to Jay to Carlos to Lonnie to Jane to even Doug himself)

Doug!Maleficent (telekinetically lifting real Doug up by the neck): what makes you think you can best me? I am the mistress of all evil. And you! You are naught but a child! You cannot succeed.

Real!Doug (asphyxiating): my dream my RULES

(He breaks her hold on him and falls to the floor. He summons the rebar to his hand and stabs her in the stomach. Except she’s taken Evie’s form)

Evie!Maleficent: why. I love you. Why

Doug (crying): you’re not her

(He pushes the rebar straight through her stomach into it comes out through the other side. She falls backwards and lies on the ground choking and spitting up blood. She screams blue murder. The surrounding area swirls into dust knocking Doug our. He wakes up in the bathroom. And still in the mirror world. Maleficent teleports back through the mirror but is so weak with blood loss she gets stuck half way through. To the mild amusement of Adam and Chad)

Maleficent: do not just stand there dumbly PULL ME OUT.

(The two men heave her out of the mirror and she lays on the floor for a minute trying to catch her breath before grabbing Chad’s ankle and reabsorbing into him)

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): you said he would not put up a fight. He put up a fight! (Chad’s voice) well don’t look at me. He was weak before that blue bitch got to him

Adam: ENOUGH! If we can’t get to the dwarf on a direct level. We attack his daughter. Your mother’s step niece. She was at the fairy’s party wasn’t she?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): yeah but she got way (chuckiling) I think she drowned. (Seriously) and she’s nothing to my family. (Maleficent’s voice) we can find her. Chad. You go to the deposed prince. Adam. You go to the council. I shall take care of the child

(She separates herself from Chad again and the three of them head off in separate ways. Maleficent goes to the Evie’s palace. Chad goes to the woods. Adam goes to the council room. In Evie’s workshop Maleficent approaches the slumbering twins, rips out their hearts and speaks into them)

Maleficent (slightly sing-songy): oh boys, wakey wakey, auntie Maleficent has a job for you

(In the forest Ben is unconscious. Well, he is until Chad drops a water balloon on his face)

Chad: get up you lazy sack of shit

Ben: I am not the one who told you to launch a coup alright? That chad, is on you and you alone!

Chad: waaa, waaa, waaa. You know. I’ve always hated magic. Too many sparkles not enough of rich people throwing their weight around like they should. It’s always “altruistic” and “benevolent” and “for the greater good”

Ben: I honestly didn’t know you knew those words

Chad: but now. Skinny ugly she hulk taught me that magic CAN be selfish. It CAN be used by people like me who want everything for themselves. I CAN bend people to my will. I’m gonna be king. So enemies beware

Ben: I swear to you that if you start singing I’ll be forced to cut out your tongue.

Chad: I have the wand

Ben: abd I have the dna of the dark fae in me

Chad: and Mal has human dna in urk

(Ben’s flown to him and pinned him by the neck against a tree)

Ben: you don’t speak of her. EVER!

Chad (choked cackling): I knew that’d get you pissed. You see. I, know, everything

Ben (letting Chad go): violence never solved anything. Different approach. Chad. Buddy. You know that I was kidnapped last year right? I went to the island to try and convince Mal to come back so she could get the proper help she needed

Chad: after she murdered sixteen people cause she couldn’t keep a lid on it. Yes I know. I watched it happen. You both should’ve died. Your point?

Ben: one of the kids keeping me hostage, he looked at me like I was a piece of meat, he tried to sell me gil for the night and he ruined the entirety of queens backlog for me. All within fourteen hours.

Chad (bored): again. Your point?

Ben: even after all that. I still believe the kids that kidnapped me didn’t mean it. They were sacred and hurt and angry. And deep down I believe you are too. Please. Let us help you. I know we can help

Chad: well that’s just the thing ain’t it? I don’t want your help

(He force chokes Ben and forcibly puts him on his knees. The wind picks up and the sky darkens. Lightning strikes the ground)

Chad: je vais te transformer en une bête/sauvage sauvage mal aimé/un monstre/tout comme ceux que tu laisses entrer chez moi/bibbidi bobbidi boo!

Ben (in a tremendous amount of pain): That doesn’t even rhyme. They’re meant to rhyme

Chad: I DON’T CARE!!!!

(The screen goes black as Ben is heard screaming, then roaring in pain. In the council room Adam has gathered Leah and Royston to talk)

Royston: what is happening Adam?

Leah: Audrey won’t answer my cellular phone calls

Adam: that’s because she hates you ma’am. And she hates you because those things have poisoned her against you. Against all of us with any reason. And it’s all my idiot sons fault for letting them have free reign of the kingdom. But not anymore. I’m taking back my kingdom. With a little help.

Leah: from whom?

Adam: your grandson for one Royston. And...

Leah: and?

Adam: now here’s where it gets a tad awkward

Royston: how so?

Adam: Leah, to take back the kingdom I have had to ally myself with a creature of whom you are not fond.

Leah: what do you mean?

Adam: your grandson has been possessed by Maleficent. I am working with them to take the kingdom back and send the evil spawn back from whence they came.

Leah: no, she can’t be back, no. I shan’t allow it

Adam: eh too bad, she’s here. And she’s not leaving

Leah: I will not let that creature harm me a second time

Adam: it’s already done! And then Audrey shall marry chad and all will be as it should be

Leah: Phillip and Aurora

Adam: lost the election. So did Cinderella. They lost. I won. And I shall do so again

Leah: my arm, it hurts

Adam: I don’t care. I say let nature take its course

Leah: oh!

(She takes a few final stuttering breaths and slides out of her chair, life gone)

Royston: what was that?

Adam: a heart attack I believe. Pity really. Now I only get to use this once

Royston: use what onc-

(Adam’s pulled out a handgun and shot Royston in the head. He too falls down dead beside Leah)

Adam: this, my dear old friend. I’m am truly sorry for the both of you. But I cannot risk either of you interfering in my plans. So you see why I did what I did and soon (a cabinet door behind him creaks) well. I might just get to use that second bullet as well. Let’s see what we have here then shall we? (he walks over to the cabinet and opens it up to find Matty Sykes chowing down on a plate of liver) and just who in the hell are you?

Matty: Matthew Jerome Sykes, at your service. Liver?

Adam: no. Thank you. What were you doing in here

Matty: watching you kill the old people

Adam (flatly): adorable. Come on then (he heaves the boy out of the cabinet and sets him on the table) what’ll it take for you not to divulge anything you may or may not have seen in the past twenty minutes?

Matty (immediately): money. The royal treasury to be precise

Adam: really?

Matty: yes. I don’t wanna be here. I miss my dad. I only can’t here to get the dough that de Vil owes my family. After that I’m leaving

Adam: and how old are you?

Matty: eight

Adam: well you are very articulate for an eight year old. Especially for one from

Matty: the place you put my father after you brought him back from the dead. I know.

Adam: who is your father?

Matty: Bill Sykes

Adam (realising): oh. The loan shark

Matty (happily): That’s him. Oh um I’m gonna need that

(He takes the gun from the table)

Adam: whatever for?

Matty: this (he shoots Leah’s corpse in the head) now both bullets are gone and (he throws the gun out of the open window into the lake) now there’s no murder weapon. You’re exempt. My liege

Adam: you are a very clever boy. How much from the treasury are you seeking?

Matty: all of it. I aim to leave this squalid little kingdom dirt poor. And miss De vil ran up a pretty inordinate tab.

Adam: I see. Well then perhaps you can help me?

Matty: as long as I get the money my father wants I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll gladly blow this place up to kingdom come if it comes to it

Adam: nothing quite so drastic, no. Tell me. Have you met Chip Potts yet?

Matty: the blonde hat stand with the gimpy head?

Adam: we no longer use that word. Disabled is the operative phrase

Matty: oh sure you can call me spawn but I can’t call a guy a gimp?

Adam: yes. He’s different. One of mine. You don’t belong here. Remember?

Matty: tell me sir, has a child with a belly full of liver ever jumped full force onto your foot from a reasonable height?

Adam: no

Matty: do you want that to happen. Remember now you don’t have a gun. And I grew up on the island. So choose your words carefully huh?

Adam (sighing deeply): oh alright. I’ll no longer call you spawn if you don’t use that word when talking about chip. Deal?

Matty: deal. Now what have you got planned

Adam: I need you to be my planner. You look trustworthy. I’m assuming the others like you. So I want you to track down track Ben’s friends and lead them to me. Ok?

Matty: eh, sure, whatever gets me the money

(He hops off the table and walks to the door, he stops, turns around and faces Adam again)

Matty: does this make you a villain?

Adam (far too quickly): no. No it does not. I’m not the villain. I’m a man who lives his home and wants to reclaim the natural order of what he created. If people get hurt. Then it’s no fault of mine. How bad can I be if I’m trying to fix things

Matty: ooookay

(This is when “how bad can I be” happens. At the cathedral Harry’s woken up. He picks up the ember from the floor and heads towards Mal. His entire arm turns to iron and he grabs Mal by the thrust burning her skin. She struggles for a bit but Evie body slams him to the floor saving her. The ember goes skittering across the floor)

Mal: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!

Harry: oh like you wouldn’t do that to me if you had the chance

Evie: this is true. Very very true. And I’m about to prove you correct

Mal: actually I am.

Evie: soit mon invité

(Mal walks up to Harry, summoning the ember as she does so, and steps on his hand until the bone crunches)

Mal: has anyone ever told you that you look astoundingly like Noseferatu.

Harry: who?

Mal: a vampire. The first film vampire. I hate them. Overly emaciated literal blood suckers that they are. I’ll never understand how they became a sex symbol in concept when they’re all disgusting night walkers

Evie: blame Twitlight. And the CW.

Mal: true, true. Now where was I. Oh yes

(He eyes glowing glow briefly and Harry gets thrown out of the entrance window)

Evie: where’d you send it?

Mal: we need jay

(At the quad Uma is conspiring with the Hook sisters and jay is scowling at them when Harry falls out of the sky followed swiftly by Mal who slams down with her wings and Evie who’s holding Hadie’s arm behind his back. Harry tried to get up but Mal kicks him in the head the goes to hug jay and Carlos)

Mal: hey guys

Carlos: you alright mom?

Mal: I am now kiddo. And soon I’ll be even better once I do this

(She disengages from them and slams her fist into Harry’s stomach. Uma watches on coldly)

Mal: besides Maleficent chad and Adam you are the worst person I have ever known. And nobody will mourn you once I’m done. Because no one’ll care. Because you don’t deserve ANYONE!

(Harry spits up some blood. She force chokes him and throws him into the air)

Jay: can I do something?

Mal: yeah?

Jay: I was thinking of making him small, much better looking, easily pluckkable. Thought? Yay or nay?

Mal: do what you gotta do my friend

Jay (as Harry falls down from the sky): tayir

(Harry’s enveloped in gold smoke and lands on the ground head first, transformed into a parrot)

Carlos: that’s one helluvan improvement

Jay: I thought so.

Parrot!Harry (in his irritating squawky voice): what the fuck did you to me

Jay: made you better

Evie: why a parrot?

Jay: eh why the fuck not

Mal, Carlos and Evie: excellent reasoning

Carlos: EVERYONE TAKE COVER

(Harry’s flown up and getting ready to attack. This is when “looking out for me” happens. After the song jay turns him back into a human and he crashes to the ground)

Jay: it’s not fun if you enjoy ya dunce

Harry: well no ones gonna enjoy what happens next.

(He summons Harriet to him by the throat and starts choking her)

Harriet: ...why...?

Harry: you lied to me. FOR NINETEEN YEARS

(Cj rushes over intent on freeing their sister)

Harry: and you

(He bends CJ’s wrist back until it cracks)

Harry: you helped her

Cj: you’re hurting me

Harry: good. Now ya know how I feel.

(Hadie teleports from Evie to Harry)

Hadie: the both of them more then deserve it. But this isn’t the way and

(A gunshot rings out from the castle. Swiftly followed by another two minutes later)

Mal: what the fuck was that?

Jay: your guess is as good as mine

(Evie takes the ember and siphons off Harry’s magic)

Evie: there. Now everything’s relatively back to normal. “Your majesty”, lead the way

Uma: she is not leading me anywhere

Jay: Mal knows Auradon. You don’t. So yeah. She’s leading us

Carlos: you four can stay here and wait for a coma. Or you can follow my mother

(Reluctantly Uma and the hooks agree to follow Mal)

Hadie: how did it feel using magic?

Harry: not as good as vodka. But close enough

Hadie: they’ll come around. I know they will.

Harry: I hate them. They hate me. And it ain’t bout to change

Hadie: sadly I think you’re right. But I’m a hopeless optimist. So I’m believing the best.

Harry: now who’s an idiot

Hadie: oh I’m that too. Just an optimistic idiot

Carlos: Jay, could you poof us back to our room? I have an idea. Is that alright mom?

Mal: you know you’re ideas are always welcome.

(Jaylos teleport away. The others walk back to the school. In the council room a certain dark fairy is furious)

Maleficent: what the fuck was that?

Matty: gunshots ma’am

Maleficent: oh, Matthew, you are here. How?

Matty: Cruella owes my father money. And I’m intent on acquiring it

Chad: you’re that one who tried to steal my room

Matty: dwarf said it’s my room now. You graduated. Having met you I’m very surprised that you did

Chad: is this little shithead dissing me?

Maleficent: he is insulting you

(She conjures up glass shards to act as a mirror and spies the vks walking up to the castle)

Maleficent: they’re here. Of course they fucking are. Dammit. DAMNIT. Not only do I not have the ember, my daughter and my ex husbands many bastards have it instead, I am about to be beset by teenagers and their morals. This is not my week.

Chad: you were married

Maleficent: yes. You met him. Hades

Chad: hobo man?

Maleficent: the very same. Though sometimes he is hobo woman.

Adam: explain.

Maleficent: Hades is the mother of the one woth the face of the animal that goes through trash. Chad. Come woth me. Adam stay here. We’ll be back presently

(The two teleport to the hall of armour)

Maleficent: tell me. Do you know of Substitutiary Locomotion?

Chad: no

Maleficent: then follow my lead. And no improving

Chad: eh. Ok

(This is when “Substitutiary Locomotion” happens)

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 30

Oh god this one got long but like so much happens man. And before you get mad I’m not sorry for what I did. Also I’m a sucker for Robert getting super proud of his trashpire and being unintentionally supportive. Like he goes out of his way to be a mean evil bastard but at the end of the day he’s secretly gonna be like “Don’t tell anyone but.. I’m proud of you and if anyone says otherwise I’ll rip out their organs. <3” he luv his trashpire. So yeah shit goes down have fun.

music for this chapter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0TzUNti3rY

play at the beginning for maximum comedic effect.

CH 30

Lets Get Ready to Die

“Mmmm Leech you’re so tense” Robert mumbled into her skin. “Do I frighten you love?” he smiled into her continuing his assault on her neck. He pulled slightly away when she didn't respond to his nips “Love?” he removed himself completely and stared at her blank face with a puzzled look. “Leechie?” he waved his injured hand in front of her face. He turned his head to see what had his nosferatu so stunned and before he could react she exploded out of his arms screaming like a banshee.

“ADAM!!!” She howled limbs flailing frantically through the crowd to get to the fleeing ghost from her past. “AAAAADDDAAAM!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU SON OF A BITCH” she roared and shoved an unsuspecting Chucky into the wall of enraged muscle that was Michael Myers. Who threw the former doll into the Babadook spilling the grief monster’s drink all over himself and his large new boyfriend Pyramid Head. The two former monsters stared at eachother from across the room and charged. Soon a domino effect of punches began.

“CLUB FIGHT!” Freddy yelled right before Jason broke a chair over him. Robert took off after his mate who could be heard shrieking obscenities over all the chaos around her. As a creature of destruction Robert was a bit impressed that his mate could cause so much discord and pandemonium within a matter of minutes. Maybe there was such a thing as destiny after all.

“I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND WEAR THEM LIKE A FUCKING SCARF YOU POMPUS PIECE OF SHIT” She screeched tearing through people to get to the man trying to shake her off. She finally caught up to him and smashed a bottle on a table pointing it at her ex-lover “I WILL BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD AND MAKE MY MATE LICK IT OFF! GET READY TO DIE AGAIN FUCKER!” Leech let out a roar and charged but was smacked in the ribs by a flying bar stool, her small frame never standing a chance. Adam took his chance to slink into the surrounding chaos and Leech directed her rage at the person who threw the stool. Poor Ghostface didn't realize the mistake he had made till he felt the fist collide with his mask. Leech was fuming mad, how the hell was that manipulative asshole still alive? Ash must have fucked up the words again. This is what she gets for trusting a human. Someone pulled her off the poor serial killer and Leech spun around punching whoever it was in the nose, Freddy stumbled back holding his face “Jesus Fangs its me calm down!” he shouted

“He’s fucking back Fred! HE’S FUCKING BACK!”

“Yeah yeah everyone heard you screaming. You know, you didn't have to break my damn nose!”

“I need to kill him right now. I’m mortal at the moment and theres no doubt he’ll be after me!”

“Look you wanna have your little soap opera that’s fine, but lets focus on getting everyone back to normal first then you can go stabbing anyone you want yeah? I’m fuckin tired of being able to die.”

Leech stared at her friend her chest heaving and fresh blood poured from a cut on her forehead and onto her lip. She shut her eyes flicking out her tongue to taste it. “All right, fine. Let’s find the damn kid so I can get my revenge and get back to my god damn life.” she snarled.

The doors of the club opened and Uncle Bob entered the club with a still very confused Dracula in tow holding a dirty burlap sack.

“Man oh man Drac this sure sounds like……some…..party…what the hell is this?” the scene was pure chaos former monsters revealing their true natures and attacking eachother left and right, there were even a few small fires in the corner. The two stared in shock  “We’re gone for three hours. THREE HOURS and you guys start a damn riot. HOW??”

“Leech did it.” Freddy pointed at the former vampire.

“I…..yeah I guess I did well shit….” she said looking around at the scene. “You know this is actually pretty impressive I’d be proud if the stakes werent high.” she gave the duo a cocky grin to which both elder monsters shook their heads to.

“Jesus Dracula you chose this walking disaster as your apprentience?”

“De ce este totul pe foc?” (why is everything on fire?) the older vampire responded wide eyed.

“I need to have a talk with junoir about his taste in women….speaking of where is the brat?”

“No idea actually…” Leech glanced around the room. “This could be a problem I may have accidently got him shit-faced.”

“You did what now?!” Uncle Bob stomped forward and bore down on her.

“Look I didnt know he was going to be a lightweight in human form!”

“I ASKED YOU TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM AND YOU PULL THIS SHIT?”

“I’m his mate not his keeper.”

“HES MORTAL RIGHT NOW AND A COCKY IDIOT AND YOU GOT HIM DRUNK!”

“Are you guys talking about Jingles?” Chucky said crawling out with Tiffany from under a table

“We saw him leave out the back.” Tiff said pointing to the back exit.

“Oh god he left the building?” Leech was starting to get worried now. She let her rage blind her once again and it put someone she loved in danger.

“Guys I know we all care about jingles’ well being but we only have a few hours left of halloween and if we dont find that little orange brat were stuck like this” Freddy complained dodging a thrown bottle.

“All right then grab the giant lets get the kid and fix this mess.” Uncle Bob grabbed the sack from Dracula and opened it seeing if there was anything useful to bring him out.

“I thought I saw him before Vorhees hit me with a chair he’s here somewhere.” Freddy grumbled and began to push back into the fighitng crowd the rest of the gang folling him. Leech turned the other direction of her friends heading for the back exit.

“Fangs come on.” Uncle Bob shouted.

“I’m going to find him.”

“Yeah and we’ll have better luck working together come on.” Freddy growled at her.

“No I’m going to find Adam. I’m going to find him before he kills me or Robert.”

“Leech this is not the time for fuckin heroics. Besides thats not really our forte.” the dream demon said stepping forward.

“Who said anything about being heroic.” the vampire said darkly pulling a large knife from her coat.

“Huh i thought this was an edge free event.” Tiffany chimed in slightly puzzled.

“Plucked it off Ghostface before he could use it on me.” she said cooly fiddling with the blade.

“Fine if you want to go save your stupid damsel in distress then by all means go get yourself killed once again because thats probably going to be the result.” Freddy rolled his eyes.

“Are you implying you actually give a shit about me Fred?” Leech smirked.

“Nah, you still owe me for that last half ounce. Can’t have you kickin the bucket till you pay me back.”

Leech smiled at the dream demon. “You know for a bunch of selfish murderers you guys sure are big softies.” the gang grinned back at her “Dont fuck up I expect to be bald next time I see all of you.”  

“Go save your idiot Fangs.”

The former vampire tipped the knife to her head in a mock salute and slipped out the door.

——————-

Leech briskly walked through the cool october air behind the night club. It was eerily quiet compared to the chaos inside and the ex-vampire tightened her grip on the stolen blade in her hand. With the 7pm curfew still in effect most people were off the streets at this hour leaving her alone and exposed. She had grown quite friendly with the night becoming nearly nocturnal since the sun rapidly drained her energy. This atmosphere was normally comforting to her but something felt off and she felt vulnerable. Leech approaced an alleyway and proceeded down the poorly lit path eyes darting around in the night. She was desprately missing her heightened hearing and nightvision right now. Something stumbled and shuffled behind her she wasnt alone. The vampire gripped her knife and spun around with a snarl only to have her wrist caught by a large hand missing a finger. Robert Gray held the side of his head and stared into his mates wild murderous eyes. Leech immediately released the tension in her muscles dropping the knife in her hand and falling into him.

“Holy shit youre not dead!” she gasped squeezing her mate tight as if letting him go would cause him to vanish.

“I feel dead” he grumbled his eyes were red and bloodshot he had clearly sobered up thanks to the cold. They broke apart and leech picked up her knife.

“Adam’s back.”

“I’m aware.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Same thing we always do, kill the problem.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” she grinned at him. “I uh I was worried about you.”

Roberts lip twitched up slightly “Were you now?”

“Don’t make fun of me for it.”

“I’d never.” he smirked shoving her lightly.

“Liar.”

he chuckled and placed his hands on his mate’s cheeks his thumbs tracing over a fresh bruise. “Would you like to destroy our enemy with me my love?”

“Mmmmm I love it when you talk dirty to me.” she grinned up at him a slight blush grew on her cheeks.

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Its a date then.” robert whispered and pressed their lips together.

Leech followed behind he mate through dark alleyways till they got to the park in the center of town. She lightly touched Robert’s arm as they approached a large tree “Hey. there’s only an hour left of Halloween left and were still not back to normal.” she said with concern.

“If we are trapped like this then we’ll find another way. There’s always another way.”

“I just miss us….and killing things” she glanced off to the side “…but mostly us.”

“I know kitten.”

Robert held Leech close to him and stroked her hair. He rarely ever hugged her like this but figured now was an acceptable time to do it. The former clown sighed and looked up locking eyes with the small boy sitting in the tree eating a pumpkin lollipop. Robert froze in realization.

“You………YOU!” he shouted casting his mate to the side.

“Bob what the he- oh!”

“Grab him!” he hissed

The boy stood up on the branch.

“WAIT DONT LEAVE!” Leech shouted wishing she could still climb walls. The spirit leapt from the branch and Leech sprinted towards him. Robert closed the gap faster with his longer legs racing ahead of her and just barely grazing the burlap mask on his head. The kid was fast, unaturally fast. The former clown dove and grabbed the halloween god’s feet causing him to fall forward and drop his precious lollipop. Robert clawed at him yanking him back into his grasp the spirit began to make strange shrieking sounds reaching out with his small hands. Leech caught up to them panting and Robert pinned the child spirit to the ground in fury.

“CHANGE ME BACK!” he roared. The spirit squirmed and flailed in his grasp. “CHANGE ME BACK BEFORE I SPILL YOUR INSIDES!” the former clown slamed the spirit on the ground.

“Hey not really sure if shake and yell is actually going to work here Bob”

“STAY OUT OF IT LEECHIE!” he snarled at her clearly in a feral mood. The creature under him was reaching for something straining with his short little arms. Leech put too and two together and picked up the pumpkin lollipop. “Robert wait let me try something!” she shouted.

The former monster turned to his mate in fury. “Please! Shake and yell is clearly not going to convince him!” he was fuming mad and panting hard but stopped his assualt his grip still tight on the boy.

“Sam right? This is what you want yeah?” she held out the sucker and pulled it away before the boy could grab it “If I give it to you will you help us?” the spirit said nothing but its hand shot out reaching for its treat. Leech tenitavely held it back out to him and sam swiped it out of her hand. They stared at eachother for a brief second then the spirit stabbed Robert in the arm with the candy. The former clown roared in pain releasing the spirit.

“HEY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?” she screamed after it as she tried to tend to her mate’s wound. “Don’t let him get away! go!” he shouted at her pushing her off. Leech got up to chase after the creature but before she could catch up to him something smacked it hard in the head with a metal pole. The spirit fell back and pumpkin seeds oozed out of his mask.

“One monster down two to go.” Adam growled and tightened his grip on the rod.

“You bastard!” Leech hissed.

“You’re the one who eats people. You know, the first thing I thought when I woke up was that I was going to rid this town of you horrible creatures. They’ll probably call me a hero.”

“You’re equally horrible Adam!”

“At least I dont kill people.”

“Pff People. What have people ever done for me other than rejected me for who I am? Now they are the sheep and I am the wolf. Its my turn to be on top.”

If there was one thing Leech never had when she was with Adam it was confidence. She had almost none when she first arrived at Neibolt. It wasn’t until she rejected her humanity and began growing close to the clown that she finally felt power. He may not have meant to, but Pennywise made her strong. Now standing in front of her arch enemy she radiated that strength. Leech took a few bold steps forward oozing confidence.

“I am the mate of the eater of worlds. I am the right hand of destruction. Go on,” she said with a wicked grin “Try to stop me, I’ll just kill you again and again until it sticks.”

“You also don’t have a weapon.” Adam smirked and spun the metal rod.

She opened her mouth to speak then shut it. “I-huh” she reached in her jacket for her knife. Leech went still remembering that she dropped it to help Robert. “Well shit.”

Adam grinned and charged her swinging the pole like a bat at her head. Leech braced for impact when a knife blocked the blow. “The right hand of destruction. I like it.” her mate grinned at her shoving her assailant back.

“Its a working title I havent committed to anything yet.”

Out of the corner of her eye Leech saw the little pumpkin spirit stumble to its hands and knees. She glanced over to robert who took a blow to his injured arm. “Go.” he hissed as blood spattered his face.

“Aw but I want to be the one to kill him again” she whined and Robert glared.

“Leechie go.” he snarled kicking Adam in the chest with a spider web patterned boot.

“Hey before I do, dont die all right?”

“Oh that I can promise dear, but you aren’t allowed to die either understand?”

“Been there done that.” she laughed. Robert smiled at her before being smacked in the side with the metal rod. Leech yelled but the look on her mate’s face told her to go and she knew he was right. Robert Gray was tough but he wasnt Pennywise and he wasn’t immortal. Leech began to run following the trail of pumpkin guts and seeds down an alley street.

The trail turned a corner but before she could round it she caught a glimpse of several figures making their way towards her. She spun around only to see several more behind her. The figures came to veiw. They were her fellow monsters from the party, all beat up and bruised being led by the hell priest Pinhead.

“VAMPIRE!” he roared as Michael Myers and Pyramid Head pinned her to the wall, the angry mob of former monsters gathered around them. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“Ok first, you can lead off with a simple hello its not that hard.” Myers slammed her into the wall hard and she nearly passed out from the impact. “Two-fuck-” she wheezed “I didn’t do anything, you all didn’t have to start punching each other.”

“You nearly destroyed my establishment!”

“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad!”

“Chatterer lost an eye!”

“How is that a problem?! He didn’t have eyes before!”

“That’s not the point!” the Cenobite leader growled “You will pay for this vampire. You may be the clown’s mate but you must suffer the consequences for your actions.”

“Now, now friends let’s not get carried away here-“ Leech laughed nervously as the mob closed in.

“Burn her!” someone shouted.

“Cut out her tongue!” came another. Clearly she wasn’t the most popular monster.

The mob drew closer and Leech began to panic. Robert was busy and her friends were no where to be seen. She was done for.

“AHEM!” a gruff voice shouted. Six familiar figures emerged from the darkness.

“If you all want to continue living in our little slice of murder heaven here I suggest you put Fangs down and help us out!” Freddy called out followed by the rest of her adopted family.

“Oh thank fuck” Leech sighed in relief.

“Everyone listen up, we got the pumpkin boy’s magic bag here and I got a feeling he wants it back. We find him, give it back and then we all go back to being our regular old spooky selves yeah? I don’t know about all of you but that sounds like a way better alternative than taking out our anger on a vampire.”

“Also Pennywise is currently fighting to the death out in the park so we kinda have to hurry. If he dies were all fucked.” Leech chimed in and glared at Pinhead. “So whats it gonna be? Cut out my tongue or help fix this mess?”

The hell priest sighed and shut his eyes “Perhaps we will discuss your punishment later vampire. Release her.” the two silent giants obeyed and Leech uncerimoniously dropped to the ground. She dusted herself off and walked to the head of the mob.

“All right everyone follow me.”

————————-

Robert coughed and sputtered as he once again fell to the ground. He was injured, hungover and had an extreme disadvantage. The eldritch began to curse this human body’s weakness and hopped for his mate to succeed so he could return to full power. Once back to normal Adam wouldn't have the power of the necronomicon on his side and would be easily dispatched. Robert would just have to survive long enough to regain his powers then victory would be his. A kick to the head drew him back out of his thoughts. The former clown roared and slashed at his opponent with the stolen knife. Adam dodged and swung his metal rod down at Robert’s head who caught the weapon and kicked his enemy back. What was taking Leech so long the spirit was injured he couldnt have gone that far. He glanced over to where his mate had ran off to and saw her pinned to the wall by an angry mob. Fantastic. Of course hed have to do everything himself. Now he had to kill this intruder AND fight his way through an angry mob to save his mate. This day couldnt go any more wrong for him.

“You know clown I must thank you I dont think I’d ever be able to get control of my body back after the two of you killed it and let it become possessed.” Adam began. “The kandarians told me she died shorty after they stabbed her and I must ask you, did you enjoy tearing out her throat just as much as you did making her into a disgusting monster?”

Robert snarled and lunged at him. Adam caught him with the pole. “Disgusting?” Robert scoffed “You were a fool to throw away such a powerful creature, I simply did what you could not and unlocked her full potential. Your failure gave me my queen.” The former clown smiled wickedly.

“Yeah from what I saw over there with the mob, it wasnt much potential.” Adam smirked.

“You’re wrong. I think someone is jealous that their own creation has surpassed them.” Robert growled. Adam threw him off and slammed him into the back of a large tree. The former clown sneered and smashed his forehead into his opponent’s skull. They both stumbled then Adam roared and sprinted forward. Robert snarled back and met his assault with a charge of his own both headed straight for each other in a final burst of energy. With only one coming out on top.

Leech jogged out of the alleyway with the burlap sack slung over her shoulder the little pumpkin spirit nowhere to be found. Her small army of monsters followed behind her if she couldn’t find Samhain at least she could lead her troops into battle. And they would fight, no Pennywise meant no illusions and no illusions meant Derry was no longer safe for killers. She froze when she got to the tree the mob in back of her slowing to a stop as well. A man in a Spiderman costume stood pinned against it. A metal rod pierced through his gut and into the bark behind him. His body hung limp and blood dripped down from his plump soft lips. The vampire’s entire world crumbled in mere seconds. She was too late, Robert Gray was dead.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Whoops I killed the clown.

[wingardium-leviohfuck]

STOP ROMANTICIZING TATE LANGDON

First of all, SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE OF AMERICAN HORROR STORY. Secondly, Evan Peters is an amazing actor and his role as Tate Langdon in American Horror Story Murder House was phenomenal. However, that does not mean Tate Langdon, the character he plays, is a good person. In fact, he is far from it. Sure, every season Evan plays a character that is more than slightly flawed, but none are quite as idolized by the community as Tate. Tate is a school shooter with frequent violent outbursts, he raped Violet's mother, and he actively drives Violet away from her loved ones and isolates her. After Violet finds out that Tate is a mass murderer and a ghost, she commits suicide. TATE THEN HIDES HER BODY TO PREVENT HER OR HER FAMILY FROM FINDING OUT. Tate also tries to convince Violet to kill herself (she is still unaware that she is dead) so that she will be with him forever. She refuses, tries to leave the house, and then when she can't, Tate brings her into the crawl space where he hid her body and shows her it, which is his "subtle" way of explaining that she's dead. By showing her her own rotting corpse. After realizing all the horrible things Tate did, Violet breaks up with him. She escapes his abuse and goes on to live with her (deceased family) in the house. Tate used gas-lighting techniques, such as blatant lying, using positive reinforcement to confuse her, and telling her everyone around her are liars, to gain power over Violet. He tells her that he loves her, but he tries to get her to kill herself on multiple occasions.He hides her body in order to keep her from remembering why she killed herself in the first place (Tate's a ghost/murderer). If Tate truly loved Violet, he would do everything in his power to keep her safe and happy, but he instead leads her further down the dark rabbit hole of depression. He's not romantic, he's sadistic, and yet the fandom continues to praise him for the way he treats Violet, saying they 'wish they could have a relationship like Tate and Violet's'. Essentially, these people are wishing that they can find a man who will emotionally abuse them to the point of suicide. This needs to end, and it needs to end soon. The fact that some of you view this type of relationship as acceptable is the scariest thing about AHS. Tate is a character that pretends to be sweet and sad in order to lure the emotionally fragile Violet to him. He does this out of selfishness and with evil intent and he does not deserve the popularity he is given for anything other than being a well portrayed character, and a fucking awful human being. Also, stop romanticizing psychopathy. A psychopath is a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior, or an unstable and aggressive person. THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC TRAIT FOR SOMEONE TO POSSESS. I am well aware that there are many characters within the series who are equally, if not more, horrific than Tate. But they are not given nearly as much attention as Tate, and they are definitely not considered a basis for relationships. I hope that someday I can search American Horror Story on Pinterest and not have to look through post after post of Tate Langdon's psychotic quotes glorifying the murder of a school full of children, or talking about how 'sweet' and 'perfect' he is. It's twisted and wrong, and their are plenty of relationships throughout AHS that are far better than Tate and Violets, i.e. Liz Taylor and Tristan Duffy, Paul and Penny, Kit Walker and Alma, Pepper and Salty, Luke Ramsey and Nan, Zoe Benson and Kyle Spencer, Desiree Dupree and Angus T. Jefferson, and even Dr. Alex and Detective John Lowe. Fuck Tate Langdon. You all deserve someone much better than him. Change your expectations for you own sake.

[the-desolated-quill]

So What The Fuck Is Going On With This Venom Movie? - Quill’s Scribbles

After many false starts and changing productions, it appears that the long awaited Venom movie is finally getting off the ground with Tom Hardy in the leading role as Eddie Brock and Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer attached to direct the film. And you’d think people would be excited for this, but surfing the Internet, the reaction to Sony’s Venom movie seems to be lukewarm at best. There are many reasons for this and I thought I’d take the opportunity to explore those reasons whilst trying to understand just what the hell Sony is planning (because I have a sneaking suspicion that not even they know).

There was once a time when Venom ruled the fucking world. Every comic book geek was obsessed with the character, including myself when I was younger. And I’m sure you can see why. I mean look at him:

Come on! You’ve got to admit he looks cool!

Not only did the character have an incredibly distinct look, but also the idea behind him was both creative and unique. An alternate Spider-Man costume later revealed to be an alien life form was a totally unexpected twist.

Venom is a black alien goo called a Symbiote. The symbiotes were a race of parasites that bonded to host bodies and forced them to do death defying acts in order to feed off of their adrenaline. However Venom was an outcast because it was the only one of its kind who wanted to form a symbiotic bond with the host rather than drain and discard them (so technically only Venom is a true symbiote because it’s the only one that desires symbiosis with its host… Yeah. Shut up. It’s still cool). Banished to Battleworld, Spider-Man accidentally releases it from its prison and ends up taking it back to Earth, becoming the Black Suit Spider-Man.

Black Suit Spidey was significantly more powerful than regular Spidey. He was faster, stronger and could produce his own organic webbing. However he was also more aggressive in costume (not to the extent that it changed his entire personality like in the film Spider-Man 3, but still he was noticeably more violent than we were used to seeing) and was often extremely tired when not wearing the costume. Later Spidey realised that not only was his new costume a living, thinking being, it would also take control of his body while he was sleeping, hence why he was so tired all of the time.

With the help of the Fantastic Four, Spidey manages to remove and contain the symbiote only for it to escape and attack him, wanting to bond with him permanently. This leads to the famous bell tower scene where Spidey uses the sound waves of the church bell to remove the symbiote. Left weakened by the struggle, Spidey was close to death only to be unexpectedly rescued by the symbiote before it slithered away. Left heartbroken and rejected, it would later bond with Eddie Brock, whose irrational hatred for Spider-Man corrupted the symbiote into the feral predator we know today.

The Black Suit Spidey arc was and still is one of the great Spider-Man stories, serving as an excellent origin story for Venom. Comic book readers loved the character and as his popularity grew, Marvel were quick to milk it for all its worth. Eventually Venom got his own spin-off series called Venom: Lethal Predator, where Venom becomes an anti-hero protecting a community of homeless people in San Francisco. We were also introduced to other prominent symbiotes over the years, the most notable being Carnage and Toxin.

Venom-Mania officially reached its peak in the late 90s/early 00s, with plans for a Venom movie produced by New Line Cinema and written by David S Goyer featuring Venom as an anti-hero and Carnage as an antagonist. Ultimately this didn’t pan out and the rights reverted to Sony along with Spider-Man himself. Eager to cash in on Venom’s popularity, Sony execs forced director Sam Raimi to include the character in his third Spider-Man movie. This generated a lot of excitement as many, including myself, were eager to see Venom finally appear on the big screen. The results were… 

…less than satisfactory.

Yeah. You’d think Venom and the director of the Evil Dead movies would go hand in hand, but no. Turns out Sam Raimi doesn’t like Venom at all and kind of resented Sony forcing the issue. You can tell watching the movie that Raimi was only doing this under protest and clearly was not taking the character seriously, which angered a lot of people. But despite this, Sony were still planning to do a Venom spinoff movie, however this was scrapped when they decided to reboot the Spider-Man franchise. The project was briefly reignited when there were plans to create a Spider-Man shared universe featuring the Sinister Six and Black Cat, but this ultimately fell through when The Amazing Spider-Man movies failed to deliver at the box office (a billion dollars Sony? Fucking really?!)

So this upcoming Venom movie marks the fourth attempt at giving the character his own solo film, and you’d think there’d be a lot more anticipation over this. But as I say the reaction has been lukewarm. The thing is, while Spider-Man 3′s Venom was a disaster, I think people would still have been excited about a Venom movie regardless if it were being made ten years ago. The fact is that while Venom still has a dedicated fanbase, he’s not quite as popular as he once was. This is just my personal opinion of course, but I think the reason why his popularity dwindled is because, outside of his origin story… well… there isn’t really a lot of things you can do with Venom. I mean sure, they tried to mix it up a little. The Venom symbiote would eventually leave Eddie Brock and move on to other hosts, including Mac Gargan (aka Scorpion) and Flash Thompson, and while they provide interesting spins on the character, it did become very repetitive. Plus without Eddie Brock, Venom kind of loses his motivation a little bit.

That’s not to say a Venom movie can’t still be good. As I said, his origin story is really good and the concept is still very unique and creative. It’s going to be R rated and is apparently going to be more akin to a science fiction horror movie rather than a superhero film, which could be interesting. And I think we can all agree Tom Hardy is an excellent choice to play Eddie Brock. It’s just a question of whether or not Sony have learned from their previous mistakes.

While I didn’t mind in Spider-Man 3 that they kept the symbiote’s origins secret, one of the biggest problems was that the symbiote didn’t have a character. It was treated as little more than a plot device with no depth or explanation given to it, which I found really irritating because the symbiote is an interesting character in its own right. It’s lonely. It wants to permanently bond with a host and share abilities and experiences. While overzealous and often overstepping the mark, it does actually care for its host, as demonstrated when it saved Spidey’s life in the bell tower. And when it realised that Spidey didn’t want to be a part of this symbiotic relationship, it reluctantly left him. Its relationship with Spidey can easily be construed as a tragic and twisted love affair. It only truly turned evil when it came into contact with Eddie Brock, whose irrationality warped and corrupted the symbiote into a rage fuelled monster.

Something else Spider-Man 3 got wrong was its depiction of Eddie Brock, portraying him as this selfish, self centred jerk (plus Topher Grace was the wrong choice entirely for the part). In the comics he’s a bit more complex than that.

Working as a journalist for the Daily Globe, Eddie Brock is able to get a confession from a man claiming to be a serial killer called the Sin Eater. This backfires when the man is revealed to be a compulsive liar and that Spider-Man had caught the real killer. With his reputation in tatters, Eddie Brock sinks into a deep depression. Forced to work for tacky tabloid magazines, his wife divorces him in disgust and his father, who he’s been desperately trying to win the approval of, stops talking to him. He starts bodybuilding in an effort to take his mind off of his predicament, but his anger and depression still remains, blaming Spider-Man for what happened to him. And just to add insult to injury, he finds out he has cancer.

That’s the key difference between the two. In Spider-Man 3, Eddie is an entitled little shit who deserves everything he gets. In the comics, Eddie is a broken man that the reader can actually identify with. In the movie Eddie faked photos of Spidey stealing from a bank and then blames Peter Parker for ratting him out. In the comics Eddie makes an honest mistake and his life spirals downwards as a result, projecting his anger onto Spidey, And then there’s the church scene. In the movie, Eddie asks God to kill Peter Parker, which just comes across as laughable and reveals what a rubbish one dimensional villain he is. In the comics, Eddie goes to the church because he’s contemplating suicide and asks God for forgiveness, which makes him more sympathetic and his ultimate fate that much more tragic. While both versions share an irrational hatred of Spider-Man, only one of them comes from an understandable place.

This is why I’m happy Tom Hardy is playing the character. As well as having the right build, he’s also played this kind of character before and done an extremely good job. If the filmmakers focus on making Eddie Brock a relatable and sympathetic character, give the symbiote its own identity and personality, and go to great lengths to explore the relationship between the two, this could make for a pretty decent movie.

However there are a few other concerns I have about this movie, and this largely stems from the business side of things.

Sony have mentioned that Venom is going to be the first instalment of a Sony Marvel Universe. Now their track record when it comes to franchise building is shaky at best. While I liked The Amazing Spider-Man 2 better than most, I will admit that the movie does feel extremely cluttered. It suffers from the same problem as movies like Iron Man 2 in that it had a lot of good ideas, but there were just too many. Sony were clearly putting more emphasis on franchise building rather than telling a good story, and while The Amazing Spider-Man 2 wasn’t a bad movie by any means, it did suffer as a result.

They also have a tendency to have unrealistic expectations for their movies. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 for instance was expected to make a billion dollars at the box office. A billion?! Look, the Avengers can make a billion dollars, Justice League could make a billion dollars and Batman V Superman should have made a billion dollars, but Spider-Man? I know he’s popular, but… that popular?! Another example is the Ghostbusters reboot, which Sony were hoping to turn into its own shared universe. It ultimately failed to deliver at the box office, and the main reason for this (apart from the sexist butthurt fanboys) is because Ghostbusters just isn’t a tentpole franchise. The most a Ghostbusters movie has ever made at the box office was 295 million dollars. It’s profitable, but not that profitable. As much as I LOVE the Ghostbusters reboot and wanted it to succeed, the fact is Sony were incredibly foolish with how they handled it. Throwing massive wads of money at a movie that simply would never have been the mega success they wanted, regardless of whether the sexist butthurt fanboys boycotted the movie or not.

So what the fuck IS going on with this Venom movie? Well as best as I can understand it, Venom is going to be a part of his own shared universe called the Sony Marvel Universe, which will have no connection to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Now to some extent, I can see why Sony have made that decision. Spider-Man may be part of the MCU now and they do still have creative control over the character, but it’s not theirs. As it stands, Sony make money off of any Spider-Man movies they produce, but any MCU movies where Spider-Man makes a guest appearance, Marvel Studios get the money. Naturally they want something to call their own, and there are rumours that after the Spider-Man Homecoming sequel, Sony plan to ditch the MCU entirely and continue the Spider-Man franchise themselves, presumably keeping the same actor but having none of the future movies connecting with the MCU at all (might as well. I mean its not as if the MCU movies connect with each other anymore). But then it gets even stranger when you learn that Spider-Man might not actually be in this Venom movie. That’s very odd considering how pivotal a role Spider-Man plays in Venom’s backstory and how famous the Black Suit Spider-Man arc is. Why wouldn’t you want to adapt that? 

The problem is if Spider-Man appears or is even mentioned in the Venom movie, then people are going to assume that its part of the MCU, which it isn’t. I suppose you could do something similar to Supergirl and cast another actor to play a different version of Spider-Man, but that might be tricky to pull off. For one thing, Superman doesn’t wear a mask so we can look at Tyler Hoechlin and say ‘oh he doesn’t look like Henry Cavill. Clearly this is not the same Superman from Man Of Steel.’ The different mediums also help the audience make that distinction, that the movie and TV universes are separate. With this, I think it’ll be harder for casual movie going audiences to make that distinction and would actually confuse them.

One possible option Sony could take is to make a few discreet references to Spider-Man and the larger MCU to imply a larger connection, but I don’t think Marvel Studios would really appreciate that. No, the telling detail here is that this is called the Sony Marvel Universe as opposed to something like the Spideyverse or something. In other words, Sony could be making a Spider-Man shared universe… without Spider-Man. Now yes, this could work, but just look at the movies slated to come out. Venom, Black Cat and Silver Sable. Aside from the fact that they all appear in Spider-Man comics, what do they have in common?

… 

Nothing. 

They have pretty much nothing to do with each other outside of Spider-Man. So how are you supposed to create a shared universe around them? And why would anybody want to see this? Black Cat and Silver Sable are hardly household names and while Venom does still have a dedicated following, he’s just not as popular as he was ten years ago. The ship has pretty much sailed on that front. Either there’s something Sony aren’t telling us or, more likely, they haven’t thought this through. Using whatever assets they’ve got lying around to create their own shared universe that they can control, not because of its artistic merit or creative possibilities, but because it’s a trend they want to cash in on while they still can.

On the whole, I’m adopting a kind of wait and see attitude to all of this. Like I said, the film does have potential and I’m confident Tom Hardy will do a great job in the role. I just can’t shake the feeling that Sony might have, once again, shot themselves in the foot before they’ve even started.