#unsympathetic logan

[monkeythefander]

Click below the cut for a Roman angst drawing.

Content Warning(s): Roman angst, being chained/restrained, cuts, mentioned Unsympathetic Logan in caption of this post

Roman got chained and locked away after Logan got tired of C!Thomas’ creative lifestyle. The logical side was a lot of control for once. Roman’s bruises are ego bruises.

[thatgenderlessentity]

Logan- *to Virgil* You know what. The Dark sides were wrong. You're not defective because you have empathy. You're defective because you have too much.

Source: Fool's Gold

[rottedcreatures]

Brother, I've got you.

Summary: after an argument with Logan, Roman seeks out his older twin for comfort.

A03 link:

Roman didn't know what he did wrong. Logan didn't seem busy, so Roman had been trying to coordinate a day of line running with the logical facet. "So if tomorrow doesn't work maybe we can do s-"

"Do you ever shut up, Roman?"

The question stings as it registers in Roman's ears, and the light sided twin looks at Logan with a confused look, eyebrows furrowed in upset. "W-what?" Roman murmurs, flinching as Logan begins yelling at him.

"I said do you ever shut up!? You never fucking listen to anyone! God sometimes I wish I could just grab you by the neck and squeeze until you stop fucking talking all the time!"

Roman's eyes fill with golden tears. The princely side throws the script in Logan's face and runs off, not hearing Virgil scolding Logan. As Roman runs, he thinks to himself 'maybe he's right?'. He doesn't realize he's heading right for the darksides until Janus is calling out for Roman to slow down, to stop, to breathe—

Roman spots his brother and only manages to get out a sob before he's going over and waiting for Remus to set aside the crochet project.

Remus, instantly, sets his current task aside and carefully pulls the younger twin into his lap, letting Roman bury his face in the nape of his neck. Remus rests a hand on Roman's back, starting to rock himself and Roman. "Hey Ro-bro." Remus cooed gently, forgetting Janus is in the room. "It's alright. Bubba's got you."

Janus opens his mouth to speak, but upon the glare the snake-eqsue side receives from the duke, shuts his mouth. Janus muttered under his breath, bewildered at the display Remus is showing. Nonetheless, the deceitful facet quietly enters the kitchen and starts preparing some cold chocolate milk for Roman and Remus.

"L-log-" Roman sobs as he curls up, hands curling into fists as he grasps at the fabric of his brother's costume, unable to bring himself to speak.

"Sssh, sssh...it's alright. You don't need to talk." Remus whispers reassuringly, combing his hand through Roman's hair gently as he keeps rocking the two of them. "I can take a guess as to what happened." Remus grumbled, sounding a bit upset.

"B-but-"

"But nothing, bubby." Remus assured, as Roman sits up and wipes the gold tears off his own face. "You don't have to talk. Just nod or shake your head." Remus hummed, waiting for Roman's approval.

After Roman nods, Remus takes a moment to remind himself to remain calm. "You had an argument with Logan, and he made a comment about how you like to talk?"

When Roman nodded, Remus's eye twitched. "Well, that fucker is wrong. He just has an orange painted stick up his ass." Remus pulls Roman close again, snapping his fingers so him and his twin both are in comfortable matching pajamas. "There. Better?"

"Mhm..."

"Good. Double-Dee, get in here!"

"Be paitent you street rat!" Janus called back, resulting in both the twins snickering. After a moment Janus returns to the living room carrying one red cup with a lid and straw, and a matching green one. "Thesssse are both the sssame." Janus held the cups out

Roman takes the green one, and Remus takes the red. Roman settles in Remus's lap, leaned up against his muscular twin. Remus always had the stronger build, it was why Roman loved Remus's hugs so much. "...thanks, Jan.." Roman murmurs softly, sipping the chocolate milk.

"It isn't a problem, Roman." Janus hummed, settling next to the two. "Now...who upset you? And do you want reassurence?"

Remus hummed, putting a hand on Roman's head and messing with his hair. "Jay, he already talked about it once. I'll check in with you later, okay?"

"Ugh, fine. I'll leave the remote here, I'll be in my room if you need me." And with that, Janus left.

Remus turned his attention to Roman. "Ro...I'm sorry we haven't hung out in a while-" he begins, taking a sip of his chocolate milk. "I dont...really have an excuse. I'm sorry."

"...'s okay." Roman murmurs as he leans against Remus. "I wasn't...the best brother either." Roman sighed softly as he took another sip of the chocolate milk. "Logan and Virgil have been riding my ass so much I can barely get away from them."

"I'll cut their dicks off!"

"No, thats- not what the issue is."

"Oh. Wait then...can you tell me what the issue is?"

Roman bit his lip, and nodded. "Promise you won't get mad...?"

"You know I can't promise that, Ro..." Remus said softly, quietly.

Roman sighed softly. "I know. But uhm...Logan and Virgil want Patton to ban me from visiting you..."

Remus's eye twitched. "Do you know why?"

Roman nodded. "They uhm.. think we're out committing crimes and stealing things."

"Uh-huh?"

"And I tried to explain that it's not true but they just..."

"Wouldn't listen?" Remus combed a hand through Roman's hair gently.

Roman nodded and took a breath. "I really like hanging out with you a-and Patton knows and doesn't want to stop me from doing that, but Logan and Virgil keep pressuring him.."

Remus sighed, rolling his ruby red eyes. "Of course they do, fuckin' pricks." Remus murmurs, tentacles squirming on his back.

Roman finished his chocolate milk. "...can we draw together?"

"Huh? Oh, like...pa...para.."

"Paralell play."

"Yeah that fuckin shit. Sure thing rommy." Remus waved his arm and the art supplies appeared, Remus setting the drinks aside. "You wanna paint, sketch, color, or...?"

"Whatever works." Roman grabbed a multi-media sketchbook and a mechanical pencil.

"Okay bubby." Remus hummed happily, nose scrunching up. He popped his lips and grabbed a canvas to start sketching on.

Roman also popped his lips, quietly rocking himself back and forth. Remus did the same, both twins needing some sort of motion stimuli.

The two sat next to eachother, happily drawing

[aidensm8]

Just a short one for now to prepare for a long angst boi coming next

[< Prev] || [Masterpost] || Next...

[firewolf111]

Based off of a conversation I've had with myself (though slightly changed to fit the characters and because my memory is trash)

Logan: What happened to our dreams? To our goals of success? Why did you abandon them? Why did you give up on them? I thought you were passion. What happened to our drive? We wanted to be something. Now look at where we are.

Roman: You aren't the only goals we had.

Logan: What do you mean?

Roman: Did you forget his dreams? *Gestures to an image of a younger version of Thomas and himself*

Roman: Did you forget his dreams came first. Our want to be an actor, a singer, a dancer, a writer. Did you forget that to them, success was chasing our creative dreams? Our goals of science came later.

Logan: Well, that would make sense. Kids often have foolish dreams.

Roman: Foolish?!

Patton: Now, now. Let's calm down.

Roman: No! I'm tired of listening to him tell me my dreams mean nothing.

Logan: Well, they do. They have no merit to them. We all already know that they will get us nowhere, but our logical goals of pursuing science would have brought us the success we dreamt of.

Roman: We wouldn't have been happy. He wouldn't have been happy.

Logan: He would have been fine. We would have been better than we are now.

Patton: Okay, why don't we agree to disagree? I mean, you both are making great points.

Roman: I'm just trying to pursue something that will make us happy! To figure things out!

Logan: And look where that got us.

Roman: *small and dejected* Why can't we be content with where we are?

The silence is loud. Maybe it's the fact that you could hear a pin drop, or maybe it's the flinch Thomas gave or the disappointed look Patton sent him. Maybe it was the look of hurt on Roman's face. Or maybe it was his own painful self-awareness. But suddenly, he feels guilty. The anger simmers down, and he realizes that Roman was right. He wasn't the only one who had goals for Thomas. He wasn't the only one who had to sacrifice things for the greater good for him. But it's too late to back track, and he was never good at admitting he was wrong.

Logan: Are we content? I don't see why we should have to settle for such a pitiful outcome, just because you decided to quit pursuing better options. Perhaps if you were less lazy or had let me take control, things would have worked out better.

Roman: *defeated and not making eye contact* You didn't offer any compromise. The only option was to quit. We would have been miserable if we kept on the path you wanted.

Logan: *sinking out* Like we aren't now.

And like always, he regrets what he said. And as always, he still doubled down.

Later, he'll pretend like nothing happened. Guilt will eat him up on the inside, and he'll wonder if he is the robot people say he is. Yet no apologies will be said. Later, Roman will cry himself to sleep after staring in the mirror, questioning if he is actually Thomas's hero. He'll create something from the pain and hide it in his special drawer. Later, Patton will play mediator like always. He'll act more cheerful and kind to cover the obvious tension but will not acknowledge it.

And after that, Logan will offer coffee to Roman in the morning and ask if he wants to brainstorm ideas. Roman will accept the extended Olive branch. No apologies said or offered, but accepted all the same. Roman will create a story about a scientist and will ask Logan to help make it believable. Of course, Logan will agree and pretend he doesn't know the reason behind the story. Patton will watch and finally feel relieved at the end of the tension. And the mindscape will once again breathe.

Until it happens again.

Because they are not content with where they are.

But why can't we be content with where we are?

[halfhissandwich]

@analoginceweek Day Five: “Here is where we shall stay.”

Story below! (Part two to Day Four)

“Hey, Virge, I need to go, Thomas is getting tired and I’m on dream duty tonight.” Roman informs Virgil of his situation. “Can… can you stay here and make sure our Perfect Professor is okay?”

“Nice alliteration… and yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll stay.” Virgil mumbles that last sentence more to himself than to Roman, but the prince gets the message regardless, and appears grateful as he pecks Virgil’s lips, causing the latter’s eyeshadow to quickly turn a sparkly purple color before he pulls away, lightheartedly slapping Roman’s arm. “You dork!”

“Haha! You know you love me, Virgil!” Roman playfully winks at him and Virgil’s face flushes when he finds that he can’t refute that claim. So he responds with a simple roll of his eyes. “I- oh, crap, I gotta go. You’ll be okay here?” Roman asks quickly, and when he gets a nod in response, he kisses Virgil’s cheek. “Bye V, tell Logan I said bye, I love both of you!” Roman takes a bow and sinks out.

Drama prince.

Virgil sits outside of Logan’s room for about 2 minutes before Logan finally opens the door, just a crack. Virgil jumps in surprise, looking at the door to find that Logan had in fact opened it… but Logan isn’t in the position that he had hoped. He still looked sad but on top of that, his eyes were a bright orange color, a sign that Virgil knew the significance of. “Logan…?” Virgil slowly speaks, trying not to provoke him.

Upon hearing Virgil say his name, Logan bursts into tears and falls down to his knees, babbling incoherent apologies to Virgil’s surprise. “I’m so- sorry- sor-” Logan practically chokes on his own sobs, prompting Virgil to kneel beside him and place his hands on Logan’s shoulders, observing the dark eyeshadow under Logan’s eyes. “L-Logan, hey, hey. Shhhh… look at me.” Virgil is unable to keep his own voice from shaking as he tries to get Logan’s attention, but Logan miraculously looks up at Virgil, breaking his heart with his terrified expression. “Do something for me. I want you to name five things you can see.” Virgil instructs, surprising Logan with the exercise that Logan had guided Virgil through before.

Shaking somewhat violently, Logan’s eyes shoot around the room, trying to decide what to say. “I-I can see… my- my bookshelf, I see… I s-see your s-sweatshirt… and your shirt… and I also see the lights in my room… and my blanket… was that five…?” Logan asks, gently fidgeting with the strings of Virgil’s hoodie, causing a warm smile to appear on Virgil’s face.

“Well done, Logan, that was five, very good.” Virgil praises Logan, keeping his hands steady on Logan’s shoulders, his own anxiety dying down with Logan’s success, which seems to also help Logan feel better. “Four things you can touch?”

As Logan continues through the exercise with Virgil’s guidance, Logan slowly finds himself being more and more grounded, and at the exercise’s conclusion, his newly orange eyes gaze into Virgil’s purple ones with hesitance, yet still with admiration. “You… you remembered.” Logan observes.

“Of course I did.” Virgil assures. “I still use that exercise a lot when I start feeling overwhelmed by my anxiety. It’s nice to have different options, know what I mean?” Logan nods wordlessly. Virgil looks at Logan’s eyes, then down at his hands as he takes them in his own, finally observing the elephant in the room. “So… he’s been bothering you.”

Logan averts his gaze, tears threatening to fall again as he nods. “He has… but not just him.” Logan starts, trying to find the courage to tell Virgil what had happened. Virgil, seeming to understand Logan’s feelings, squeezes his hands in order to give Logan the reassurance he needs. It proves successful as Logan continues talking. “When… when Thomas was cleaning, Remus showed up and started doing… doing his thing. I gave Thomas different methods to make himself feel better about how Remus was bothering him, but then he… he…” Logan clears his throat in an attempt to continue speaking. Nothing happens when he tries again. He clears his throat and tries to speak again. Nothing happens.

“What did Remus do, Logan?” Virgil asks, being as gentle with his question as possible, and struggling to hide his surprise when Logan yells. “HE MADE ME MAD! I- … I felt… so angry. He was ignoring me when I was trying to talk some sense and it felt like my blood was burning. And then he was right! The second that Nico called Thomas, Thomas started completely ignoring my efforts to tell him that implementing this damn schedule!” Logan rises, pulls out the schedule he had worked so hard to create with Thomas, a relic of how valuable he is, and rips it apart.

Upon seeing Virgil tense up at Logan’s outburst, Logan sighs and sits back down. “I’m sorry, Virgil… I just… I feel…” Logan begins, but trails off. Virgil holds his hand, wanting him to finish speaking. “I f-feel… sad. And mad.” Logan admits, lacking the appropriate emotional vocabulary to put a precise name to his feelings. “And I… something about Roman… he kept making me think about Remus. Like, I would see Roman but also see Remus. And I know that’s terrible! He’s nothing like Remus, I know that! Roman is bright, and intelligent, and funny, and… clean.” Logan looks down, avoiding meeting Virgil’s tense gaze.

“… I get it. When I first came to the light side, Roman did usually, well… remind me of Remus.” Virgil admits. “Granted, I barely knew Roman and I grew up with Remus, but still… We both know how amazing Roman is now, and we know that while he is similar to his brother, he’s different in all the ways that matter. He’s kind, he respects the space of others, he is able to reflect on his actions and take accountability and feel guilt when he makes mistakes, and well… when he makes us angry, there are good intentions behind it, right?” Virgil asks, prompting Logan to nod.

“I had a feeling that my brother was behind this somehow.”

Virgil and Logan both jump in terror realizing that Roman had returned, apparently done with his duties in creating a dream for Thomas. Virgil waves hello, but Logan is frozen as he desperately tries to explain himself to the prince, who was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a neutral expression on his face. “Oh my god…” Logan tears up. “Oh god, Roman, I’m so sorry… I swear, I didn’t mean to compare you to Remus, I promise, I… you… you aren’t mad, are you?”

“Mad? Oh I am absolutely furious, but not at you, mi amor.” Roman takes one of Logan’s hands in both of his own. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I… I haven’t? But… I thought I hated when-” Logan starts.

“I hate when people imply that the only thing keeping me from being the evil twin is a mustache.” Roman clarifies with a small jab at Janus. “My brother and I are very similar, Logan, I know that. And I understand that if there are two Creativities, then they will naturally be connected. But you weren’t even comparing us, Logan, you looked at me and you were reminded of an event that really hurt you less than an hour prior.”

Listening to Roman’s voice was enough to completely soothe Logan’s tense body, his shoulders relaxing and his breathing slowing to a relaxed pattern. “May I hold you, Logan?” Virgil smiles, to which Logan snuggles up to him, letting himself be vulnerable in his partner’s arms as Roman maintains his hold on Logan’s hand. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” Roman asks. Logan looks at him, then down at the ripped piece of paper he had left at his feet. He pauses.

“Can you give me some tape?”

[izaacs-notdeadyet]

Okay guys, hear me out.

Villain Logan

[yourchemicallyimbalancedromance]

Comfort At It’s Finest

Prompt: Virgil has a special blanket that sits carefully folded in the closet and only comes out after really bad days, when he needs it the most. It’s the blanket for huddling up and hiding under the bed, it’s the blanket for taking an almost-involuntary nap after the third panic attack of the day, it’s the blanket for pretending the world is less than sixty-four cubic feet in its entirety and has borders of fabric. It’s the blanket for retreating from a dumpster fire to cry himself to sleep.

It’s a blanket he got from Thomas, before he was accepted.

(Credit to @sleepyvirgilprompts for this idea which you can find here<3)

Ship: none? Unless you count this as platonic Thomxiety but I’m not sure, I don’t really see it that way.

CW/TW: panic attacks, swearing, unsympathetic Roman, unsympathetic Janus, sympathetic Logan.

Summary: Virgil locks himself in his room after the sides start fighting again, something about how almost all of them were holding Thomas back? He didn’t know, he didn’t care, he just wanted to feel okay again.

(Halloween has brought up some…odd and negative feelings, to put it lightly, so this is my way of dealing with that<3)

———————————————————————

Virgil couldn’t take it anymore; The shouting, the insults. He slumped against his door and covered his ears, breathing as if he had just run a marathon, trying desperately to remember the breathing techniques Logan had taught him. What was it? In for four out for…five? Fuck. He couldn’t remember, nothing he was thinking made sense, nothing in general, made sense. Everything was so loud and he couldn’t stop trembling no matter how hard he tried. He held his legs down with his palms and they seemed to stop shaking until he let go, all the built up energy making his attack worse than before. It was no use.

This was the third time they’d fought this week.

It was Thursday.

His hands didn’t muffle all the sound, however; he heard every single thing the others were saying in the commons; it was as if a megaphone had been held up to his door.

“well maybe if you weren’t such an asshole I would have t-“ Roman was cut off by..Janus?

“I’m the asshole?! I’m not the one who’s so deeply insecure that they have to project their shit onto others” he screamed.

The house fell deadly silent apart from Virgil’s heavy breathing. He could hear his heart in his ears. He wanted to go home, he was home, but this didn’t feel like what you would call a home.

“Fuck you, Janus. There’s a reason Thomas didn’t accept you for years.” Roman finally said, from the sound of it, through gritted teeth.

He heard someone stomp a few feet near his room, open a door, and slam it. Virgil froze, the sudden noise sending shock waves through his body.

he wanted everything to stop; the loudness, the insults, the fights, the slamming of doors, the stomping, the yelling, the anxiety, he wanted to be held and told he was safe, he wanted to go home, he wanted-

His tearful eyes drifted over to his closet to see a weighted blanket neatly folded and shoved into the back where no one but him could find it.

His blanket.

He pushed himself up off of the ground, a hand against the wall so he wouldn’t fall due to tremors in his legs. He reached up and grabbed it, letting it fall onto him, nearly causing him to fall to the floor.

The blanket was soft; light, but heavy enough to weigh on you a little. It was checkered black and white with little ghosts on every other patch. He eased up just the smallest bit at the sight of it. Thomas had given him this after the ‘My NEGATIVE Thinking’ video.

He quickly fell on to his bed, holding the blanket to his chest. it smelled of cinnamon and honey. Virgil had forgotten how in the worst of moments, if he pulled out his blanket, it would immediately default to any scent of his choice; subconsciously, he had chosen cinnamon. It reminded him of better times, happier times. How he and Patton had baked cinnamon rolls a few months after he was accepted, the smell of sugary sweetness wafting through the air.

The slight hint of honey reminded him of his first panic attack in front of the light sides, how he had curled into himself on the couch, silent tears escaping his eyes, face hot and red, unable to breathe, to speak, to move. Logan had helped him through it.

“Breathe in for four seconds,” he had said, inhaling, crouched down in front of him. “Hold it for seven seconds” he paused and waited for Virgil to follow his lead, and once he did he continued, “out for eight seconds.” He exhaled.

Virgil was so embarrassed that Logan had seen him like that that he proceeded to apologize profusely. “God, that was— I’m so, so sorry, I don’t know what that was, well I do, I think? It’s never been that bad I just—“

“That was what is known as a severe panic attack, Virgil. I take it you’ve never had one to that extent before?” His eyes were kind, caring, behind his glasses.

Virgil just shook his head, he didn’t know what to say, he felt that if he tried to talk the only words he would be able to say would be “I’m sorry” over and over again.

“I see. Say, do you like honey? Maybe lemon?” He had asked

Virgil nodded, and before he could stop him, Logan had begun making Honey and Lemon tea. Something about how “it’s very calming and quite good as well” he had said.

Virgil hadn’t noticed his eyes drift closed but he didn’t feel the need to force them back open. The sharpness of the house felt dimmer, quieter; as if they were sizzling into a low hum, something waiting to pounce again. He was too fatigued to worry about it, even though something in his gut told him to stay alert, something was bound to happen again, he didn’t listen, just readjusted positions under the warmth of the blanket.

He needed to say thank you to Thomas later.

[orbmanson7]

@intrulogical sent me a Logan Angst prompt!

logan crying in a video whilst offering a solution to something and thomas going "stop crying"

I'm still taking Logan Angst prompts from any word or phrase sent to my ask box!

--

Asking for clarification had become almost habit for him by now.

"Ah, so you didn't mean that literally then?" Logan steadied his expression after the realization struck him. "I suppose this is why clarification is so useful in these discussions."

"There's nothing to clarify, Specs!" Roman threw his hands up dramatically. "It's not like we were trying to trick you!"

Logan blinked at that response. He hadn't thought they were trying to deceive him with their words, no, but it's not as though they had meant what they said, either. Hence the need for clarification.

He nodded towards Roman, replying,

"I understand that, but--"

"Do you?" Roman instantly cut him off. "Because it seems like it takes a million times for us to explain something to you before you actually get it!"

Oh. So he was bothered by Logan's repeated desire for clarification. The quantity was the issue.

"I believe I understand your concern. While some subjects may take extra consideration, I can assure you, I am trying my best."

"Are you?"

Thomas stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Was it unreadable to everyone else, too, or just him?

"Wh..." He was so shocked to hear Thomas outright doubt him like that, he couldn't even formulate the question he wanted to ask. He tried not to let it show, straightening his stance.

Thomas needed his trust, his confidence.

"Of course I am," he told him.

He just needed to be confident. He didn't need to bring more doubt to the topic at hand, after all.

"Princey kind of has a point, though," Thomas only frowned at him. "We've talked about this before, but you never seem to get it. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

"Well, yes, of course," Logan replied as quickly as possible, trying not to sputter over how badly his attempt had just failed. "But it's not as though I have limitless knowledge--"

"Aren't you his language center or whatever it's called?" Virgil piped up. "Isn't this supposed to be your thing?"

"I operate his recognition and use of language, yes," he answered truthfully, "but understanding more than the contextual meaning behind a phrase via facial expression or body language or tone of voice doesn't typically fall to my expertise--"

"Then why are you even doing it?"

"Wh... It... Because it's my job."

He'd never had anyone ask him such a question before, and he wasn't sure there was a better way to answer it.

"And yet," Roman butted in, "you need us to explain what we mean forty times every episode for you to understand? If it's your job, shouldn't you already know how to do that?" He grumbled, crossing his arms. "It's not like I have to relearn how to write every time I have an idea, you know. I already know how to do it. So what's your problem?"

Logan stared. He...wasn't sure there was an adequate answer to that, either. Surely, there was a legitimate reason why pragmatic errors frequented his discussions with others, but if it really was his role to handle that on Thomas' behalf, why was he continuously struggling with it? Why had he not learned about it, held onto that knowledge, and then applied it when the situation arose, just as he had with near everything else?

Why was this different, especially when it so heavily affected his purpose to Thomas?

What was his problem?

Roman laughed.

"What? Cat got your tongue now?"

"...no?" Logan raised an eyebrow, confused. "I still have my tongue and there is no cat to--"

"Logan, seriously, just stop." Thomas held up a hand to stop him. He wasn't even looking at Logan as he spoke. "You're the one always lecturing us about learning stuff but then you don't even understand half of what we're saying unless we spell it out for you!"

Logan bit his lip, willing himself to understand.

"I don't think you'd need to spell anything out, Thomas. I simply ask that you clarify the meaning of--"

"For the love of God, Logan, this is exactly what we're talking about!" Thomas shouted, finally turning to look directly at him.

Logan paused. So this was more of the same, then.

"Ah."

It wasn't just that he was asking too often, it was the matter of his asking at all.

Roman rolled his eyes.

"Boy, and you call me stupid."

"I don't believe I've called you that," Logan responded calmly, then adding, "Today."

Even if it was harsh, at least when he had said that, he meant what he said.

After all, why would someone say something they didn't mean? Wouldn't they want to be understood? To be able to communicate effectively?

When he spoke, he wanted to not only be heard but for others to know what he was trying to convey. Using hidden context served little purpose, and only proved to create massive communication issues like this one.

Logan absently fiddled with the end of his tie.

The others were all looking at him disapprovingly.

He swallowed, but something in his throat felt tight, obstructed. His eyes seemed less focused, slightly blurring around the edges.

He tried to take a proper breath, but it came in shuddering and came back out shaky.

None of these were good signs, at least as far as seeming professional goes.

"Perhaps I have asked for clarification far too often for your liking." Logan paused, expecting to be cut off yet again. When the others didn't respond, he continued, "I merely wish to make sure we're communicating properly, that I'm not misunderstanding your--"

"We shouldn't have to explain it every time!"

And there it was.

Roman and Thomas both began yelling a number of things, but Logan just waited.

Everything they were saying... They were right. Something was definitely wrong here. Logan shouldn't be continuing to struggle if they've all done their part to explain their intention so many times. Why was he still in need of clarification, of assistance? Why hadn't he resolved this on his own already?

He would have to keep trying.

As it quieted down, he turned to Thomas, attempting to hold his gaze without trepidation.

"I... I'll keep trying, then."

"What, so you weren't trying before?" Thomas was so immediately outraged. "How long are we going to have to put up with this?"

"Logan, maybe you just need to try a different way of figuring it out." Patton offered, hands up, placating. "We all know you get stuck in your ways, so maybe just try it our way this time, yeah?"

But doing just that hadn't ended well at all last time. He couldn't have been the only one who remembered that, right? Last time, he was only left confused and ultimately misunderstood by the others when he tried it 'their way'. That couldn't possibly be the solution. No, there had to be something else.

"Well," Logan tried, "I don't know if that would--"

"He's right!" Roman cut in, sounding angry. "You don't even want to get it, do you? Is this an attention thing again??"

Roman moved his arms around in ways that failed to make sense to Logan at all.

"Oh no, Logan needs even more attention now so he has to pretend to be stupid to get even more camera time!"

Logan was completely confused at such a comment. That didn't seem like a fair judge of his conduct at all.

He grimaced,

"I... I would never pretend to--"

"L, it's fine if you're just doing it so you get to talk more," Virgil told him, leaning back casually on the staircase. "I get it, man, but this isn't the way, you know?"

Logan did not 'get it' like Virgil apparently did. Why would someone pretend to not understand something? Why not just be sincere, clarify their confusion so they can get the help they need? What purpose would it serve to lie about it?

"I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain to them that he wasn't pretending without knowing why they thought he was. "That's not... I wouldn't do that--"

"Oh, please." Roman scoffed.

Thomas sighed, putting his face in his hands.

"Logan, the excuses aren't helping, either."

He hadn't meant to bother Thomas with all of this. He was at a loss on what he could do to fix this mess, one he had apparently started all on his own.

He swallowed again, feeling heat begin to rise behind his eyes.

"A-apologies."

Thomas shoved his hands down at his sides. Logan may not have been the best with body language but he could certainly tell his choice to apologize had been the wrong one to make.

Thomas glared at him, something Logan realized he had started to see more often lately. Logan flinched without meaning to, and he couldn't even begin to understand the shiver that had gone through him or what it could possibly mean. His vision blurred.

He could just make out Thomas' expression as it twisted at Logan's knee-jerk reaction, and he suddenly shouted at Logan,

"Ugh, stop crying! Just do better!"

He really hadn't meant to have any overt reaction, but he'd been quite unprepared for this turn of events.

Where had they come up with the idea that he would lie about this? Was this his fault to begin with, for not putting in enough effort to understand, to learn, to improve?

Clearly they had a better understanding than he did, so perhaps they were right. Maybe he was capable of understanding and was simply choosing not to properly learn how to discern the difference in someone's words with how they speak them.

He reached up, removed his glasses, and wiped a palm across his eye, trying to stop the tears that kept flowing. He wasn't entirely sure when he had started crying, either, but now it didn't seem to want to stop.

Thomas was right. Logan had to do better. It was past time he did his job the right way by now, and in the way Thomas wanted above all else.

He put his glasses back on and turned to Thomas, ignoring the last tear escaping down his cheek as he spoke.

"I'll try."

[fandoms-bandoms-andmentalissues]

Alone? Not Anymore

Logan is belittled, ignored, and discarded by the light sides, but until Janus and Remus help him find a new side of himself he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it. They help him make a very difficult choice suddenly very easy.

[mysisypheannightmare]

Pause

Word Count: 1812

Warnings: Patton acting very unsympathetic (gaslighting mostly), some negative thinking

--

Logan had accomplished something great today.

He showed Thomas a new video-editing software that he determined should significantly improve his content output speeds and would also run adequately on his current computer equipment. Thomas learning about the new features gave Logan a much-desired confidence boost and he wanted to smile as Thomas quietly let out "ooh"s and "aww"s at the short preview video from the software's website.

He sat across from him at the table as Thomas closed his laptop, and he explained very simply that if Thomas held back on takeout for the week and refrained from buying anything from Redbubble (as tempting as it may be) until next month, he should have more than enough saved up to purchase and download the new software. He would have to learn the new system in order to use it properly, but Logan had assured him that he would read the instructions thoroughly and stick with Thomas throughout the process so he could have it learned in no time.

Thomas had enthusiastically agreed.

Logan marked a calendar, noting to skip fast food for the week and online purchases for the month, and then circled Thomas' pay date. That was when he could buy the software, right alongside with paying his bills.

Oh! And he reminded him, don't forget, he needed to do his taxes sooner rather than later, because the refund could come in handy!

Satisfied, Logan began to sink out, only to hear someone else pop in as he did so.

He thought nothing of it as he entered his room.

He recalibrated his calendar, having successfully convinced Thomas of a way to increase productivity.

He was glad all the research and reviewing for a new video software had actually paid off, considering he'd been desperate to find some kind of new task that would benefit Thomas. And with the new predicted increase in productivity, Thomas would soon have better availability for filming, spending time with his friends, and pursuing his hobbies on the side.

Sure, Virgil won't like the adjustment period for the new changes but Logan intended to promise him he'd make that transition as smooth as possible.

And yes, being frugal for the month will be rough, especially with Roman around, but he'd already prepared room in the budget for some slip-ups just in case.

And Patton will hopefully realize that Thomas can create his own comfort foods right at home, within his budget, and it wouldn't affect anything negatively at all.

Logan had covered all his bases, made sure everyone would be accommodated within reason, and Thomas could still benefit the most out of this decision.

Logan felt accomplished. Well, perhaps he could have set up a better worksheet that allocated and compared the reviews he'd read about new and available software… but he was still satisfied with the results he received!

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and he turned and walked over to it automatically.

The moment he opened the door, he was greeted by Patton's strained smile.

"Hey, Lo," he said, teeth gritted in a way that made Logan instantly uncomfortable. "Can I come in?"

In lieu of a response, Logan merely stepped aside, allowing Patton to stride on into the room and then turn around to face the other side as he shut the door gently.

He wasn't the most adept at reading others' emotions, but he could sense Patton wasn't happy at the very least. Something must have upset him.

"Is something the matter?" Logan asked, confused by Patton's behavior.

"What? No!" Patton's expression changed nearly four times, far too rapidly for Logan to interpret what any of them could be. "No, no, see, I was just...worried, about you! From the way it sounds lately, you seem to be working really hard, Logan!"

Logan wasn't sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not. The words sounded correct for one, but Patton's tone seemed bizarre. Logan frowned.

Emotions were quite difficult to understand.

Perhaps Patton was worried about his uptick in productivity?

"I assure you," Logan tried, "I have made no strain on myself. I only take on what I can handle, as we all should."

Patton's eyes had narrowed at him for a moment as they both stood in silence.

Perhaps he had misread Patton's intentions with his statement, after all.

"I'm no lie-detector, Logan, but I get the feeling that's not entirely true," Patton told him, a frown upon his face that seemed to mock him. He wasn't sure how it could do that, though.

"It is," Logan answered simply.

"Oh, really?" Patton tilted his head to the side. "Because I heard you decided to start up a new assignment of sorts."

Logan blinked. Patton seemed upset, but he wasn't sure why.

Sure, Logan had taken on researching new software and presenting the comparison results to Thomas, but it was of no concern to his allocated schedule and didn't take away from his other responsibilities.

He didn't understand why that would be upsetting. In what way could this be viewed negatively?

"I don't understand," Logan told him numbly. Was he… in trouble for something? Had he done something incorrectly and not realized it?

"Don't you?" Patton raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

So he had done something wrong.

Logan tried to think back, but he couldn't recall anything he had done recently that seemed to upset anyone. Was this really somehow about introducing Thomas to the new editing software? Why would anyone be upset about such a fruitful decision?

"I believe I may be failing to see the overall issue here, Patton," he remarked. If this was about the software, there was certainly no reason to behave like this. He could just tell Logan outright about his concerns.

Patton shook his head, still smiling in that uncomfortable way.

"That's the problem, Logan."

The room seemed colder then.

Logan tried again,

"If you would enlighten me as to what has upset you, we should be able to come to a solution. I'm sure once I understand your predicament, it'll be simple."

Reassurance often worked to cheer Patton up, after all. Perhaps this would help?

Patton laughed, but Logan hadn't made a joke. The sound reverberated a tiny bit through the room, and Patton looked him in the eye.

He wasn't smiling anymore.

"I don't need to do that for you, Logan. You're smart. Just think back and you'll figure it out."

"Then, what's the resolution here?" Logan asked, trying not to sound desperate. "What are you asking of me?"

The answer was not something he ever thought he'd hear.

"I think Thomas needs a little break from his logic for a while."

Logan had never experienced such hollowness as the kind that abruptly formed in his chest at those words.

"Wh--" he swallowed, his mouth absolutely dry. "What do you mean?"

Patton's smile returned then.

"I mean, you've been working so hard, and Thomas has, too!" He grasped his hands together in front of him. "It's about time you both had a break. I'm thinking maybe just a week or two, you know?"

Logan didn't know. He didn't understand. Thomas couldn't survive without logic, so what was Patton even suggesting?

And it wasn't like the work Logan was doing was in any way taxing or deserving of a break, especially considering how few tasks he even had left to do these days. He had been satisfied with just the chance to research something for once, and without anyone else's input.

So what was Patton even saying here? Did he not like Logan's decision?

It wasn't like he could control what Logan did or didn't do!

"I can make my own decisions, Patton," he chose to say. He tried to stay as calm as possible so Patton could tell he was serious.

Patton smiled at him again, sickeningly sweet.

"Yes, but you're not the only one making decisions, right?"

Ah. So Patton was upset because Logan hadn't consulted him and the others.

Logan tried not to sigh in disappointment. He'd been doing all the preparation for this suggestion so it would be easier on everyone and not turn into a pointless debate. It was meant to benefit everyone.

But, of course, Patton has to find some way to make it negative instead.

"I suppose I could have done some more consulting, yes," he conceded, folding his arms across his chest.

"We all make mistakes," Patton nodded, like they had only just gotten on the same page.

"That's why I want to ask you to take a break voluntarily. For your sake and for Thomas'!"

Logan blinked.

So it was Thomas who needed the break? But why hadn't Patton just said that, and why hadn't Thomas said anything?

Before he could even ask, Patton added,

"Look, I know Thomas doesn't trust you enough to tell you this kind of stuff, that's why he had me ask you instead. He needs a little vacation from his logic for a bit, okay?"

Logan grimaced. None of this made sense. Thomas had been so enthusiastic when he agreed to his plan for the new software. Patton had been the only one to say anything negative about it at all.

Had he completely misread everything? Had Thomas been placating him and he hadn't noticed?

Patton was always more in-tune with that sort of thing, so perhaps he was right about this.

"Are... you sure he doesn't want me around right now?" Logan had to ask, he had to know.

Patton's expression didn't change.

"You can still do your usual stuff from your room, right? Just do that for this week, and then we'll see where we're at, okay?"

Logan noted that he hadn't answered his question, but his suggestion implied what must have been the truth. Patton was known for trying to gloss over the negative side of things, after all. Maybe he was just trying to help…

Logan sighed.

He didn't want to agree but he didn't want to argue, either. If Thomas really didn't want his help, he should give him some space and find a more subtle way to offer his assistance.

"Okay."

Patton smiled.

"Perfect! Thank you so much," he told him, heading towards the door. "I'll take care of the rest and don't worry, I already switched the schedule back to normal."

Oh. Logan frowned. So all that effort has been for nothing, then.

Patton gave a little wave and exited, leaving Logan standing uncomfortably in the middle of his room.

He had put so much thought into that decision. Where had he gone so wrong?

And why hadn't Thomas just said what he felt? And why hadn't Patton, either?

He really needed to get better at this whole socializing thing.

He glanced around at the empty room. Well, at least he'd have the time for it.

[monkeythefander]

Click below the cut for a Fem-Logan angst drawing based on the song “The Ballad of Sara Berry” from 35mm: A Musical Exhibition.

Content Warning(s): Fem-Logan angst, Unsympathetic Fem-Logan, implied murder, blood.

The drawing on the left is a redraw of a Fem-Logan drawing I made based on the song “The Ballad of Sara Berry” from 35mm: A Musical exhibition. The drawing on the right is the older version.

Fun fact: The older drawing was made for the first dtiys I ever hosted. Now I’m just redrawing it for fun.

[ask-nico-and-the-sides]

Oh! Oh dang!

[thatgenderlessentity]

Patton- You've always been a disappointment. You've learn nothing from me.

Logan- Oh, no. I've learned everything from you. How to predict when you'll strike, how to dodge, how to resist. You thought you were punishing me all these years? Wrong. You were training me for this day.

Source: She-ra

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Cold Comforts: Cracking Ice

I imagine that you get a lot of asks so apologies if this one adds to an endless list of them. I have this sanders sides concept in mind where Patton was not the one who caused the original creativity to split nor was Patton morality during this time and it was Logan; but because Janus had left before it occured and Virgil, Remus, and Roman didnt really exist yet, no one knows about this. But because Janus can pick up on lies (including lies of omission), he quickly pieces together the truth. No idea how you'd work that into a story of any kind (if that was something you would want to do), just thought it would be neat to at least share. ax3-e0n

hey !! i don't have a super specific request, but i'd love some qpr content from you if you don't mind !! any ship is fine, but i love qpr dukeceit, analogical, and moxiety ^^ - anon

I really loved Cold Comforts (that fight did break me but in the best way possible) and I would love to know what happens in the aftermath. Like how do they actually reconcile and make up for what was said? - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: self-esteem issues, implied/referenced rsd

Pairings: none

Word Count: 3293

    At first, there is elation.

Roman blinks awake in the ruined corpse of a dying tower, covered in cobwebs and layers of dust. He blinks, bits of it falling into his eyes. A phantom warmth rests on his cheeks and in his befuddled state, he thinks it might be the sun.

"Shh, little one," he hears from eons away, "it's alright. I'm here now."

He blinks again and the phantom warmth grows stronger, coalescing itself into hands on his face, thumbs gently stroking his tears away. He's still crying, lips still trying to form comforts from nothing. He blinks again and the blob in front of him focuses.

"L-Logan?"

"Hello, little one," Logan whispers, "it's okay. I'm here now."

Here.

Hands. Warm hands. Warm hands on his face, cupping it like it's something precious, like he's something precious. Warm hands that brush away his tears and a warmer voice that says it's okay. I'm here now.

"You're here?" His voice, cracked and dusty from overuse. "Y-you're really here?"

"Yes," says Logan, smiling and reaching up to run his fingers through Roman's hair, "I'm here. I'm really here. And so are you."

"Don't do that, Princey," comes another voice, one that appears over the edge of the shell too, "you scared the shit out of us."

"Language, mister," comes yet another, "but he's right, kiddo. You really scared us, there."

"Being scary is my schtick, Ro-Bro," says yet another, "don't do it without me."

And, just when Roman's heart feels fit to burst, the last voice sighs and reaches into the shell too. "Not that this isn't very touching, but I think we'd all be better off outside this very scary tower with no stairs."

He blinks dumbly as yellow-gloved hands reach for him, fitting carefully around his shoulders and gently pulling him to sit upright. Logan's hands shift down to his elbows, helping to get him out of the dust-caked blankets. His head pounds. He feels dizzy.

"Slow, you jerks," Virgil's voice mutters, "he's just been like that for who knows how long and he's been crying."

"Here," Logan says softly, only for Roman's ears, "lean on me. I've got you."

And oh, isn't that surreal, to have Logan's arms wrap around him and be leaned against a broad chest, to have another set of hands at his back and to be helped down from his dusty perch. His limbs feel discombobulated, disconnected, and he flails a few times before he figures out how to hold on too. Logan is patient with him, though, and helps him over to a chair that Remus conjures and sits him to face the sun.

"Here," says Patton, handing him a glass of water, "try and drink that, okay, sweetheart?"

Oh, he realizes belatedly, I'm being taken care of.

At first, there is elation.

They came. They actually came. They wanted to find him and so they searched for him, they found their way up a tower that he did not design to be found. They sought after him because they noticed he was gone and so they chose to come and find him. They are here because he was not there.

At first, there is elation.

Then, there is only dread.

They're going to want to know what happened. He's going to have to explain what happened. They're going to want to know what happened and why he ran so far away and why he started to fade and all of this is going to go away. He's going to have to tell them about the argument and all of the horrible things he said and he's going to watch all of this care fade away into disappointment.

Because they will be. Disappointed.

Roman, you never learn.

Roman, we've been over this.

Roman, you know better.

Roman, how could you be so cruel? Roman, you should think about the things you say before you say them. Roman, I expected better from you. Roman, you're supposed to be better than this. Roman, Roman, Roman, will you ever stop being a disappointment?

This, right now, this is the last he will be able to have this comfort with no strings attached. It will be the last time he's able to ask for something and have it be given, the last time he can feel as though they're doing it because they want to.

And even now, he can hear their voices.

That's such a mean way to think about it, Roman. I wish you wouldn't think we don't know what we're doing when we comfort you. What, did you think it was just something we did?

And, how selfish of you, Roman, that you wouldn't tell us what happened because you thought we wouldn't want to comfort you after we knew what you'd done. Maybe you should have told us right away, then we wouldn't have this problem in the first place. Logan was right.

And, this is emotionally abusive, Roman, you know that, right? Being so dramatic and playing the victim and guilt-tripping like this even though you did something wrong too. Manipulating us like this is wrong. You know it's wrong. We'd be more inclined to forgive you if you weren't being so awful about admitting that you're hurt by something.

They're here and they came and Roman wants nothing more than to run away again.

"Whatever you're thinking," Remus's voice cuts in, "stop it. Stop being mean to my brother."

Roman startles and a moment later, he has a lapful of Remus. Remus buries his nose in the crook of his neck and squeezes tightly, their hearts pressed against each other's ribcages. It's uncomfortable, it's awkward, and Roman loves it.

"I was so scared," comes the whispered confession, "when you started Fading. I thought I was gonna lose you again."

"I'm sorry, Re, I didn't mean to, I swear—"

"I know, Roro, I know."

"I just—I had to go—"

"Easy," Virgil's low voice rumbles, a hand settling on his shoulder, "breathe, bud. It's okay. You're okay. Remus isn't mad at you."

"Y-you're not?"

"No, Roro, I'm not mad at you."

The part of Roman's brain that isn't screaming softwarmsafebrothercomfort shies away at the way Remus says you.

Right.

In the way a soldier dons his armor before a fatal fight, Roman takes a deep breath and carefully pats Remus's thigh. Remus lets him go, confusion written on his features as Roman stands up and begins to lower the tower's room to the ground. It settles on the earth with a low rumble and one of the walls finally caves, leading out into a familiar field of rolling grass. He walks out into the sunshine, the warmth settling over him like boulders. He allows himself one more moment to clutch his hand to his side before he turns and faces his executioners.

"I'm sorry," he begins, "for being so dramatic. I didn't mean to Fade and while I know that doesn't change anything, and I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, I hope that the knowledge that it wasn't done purposefully makes it a little better. It might be wrong of me to hope that, but…I do. I didn't mean to affect the videos or Thomas or anything of that nature, and you have my deepest and sincerest apologies that I let my—my tantrum get this bad."

He looks at Logan. His hands twinge in pain.

"Logan, I apologize for wasting your time. I apologize for being unreasonable and bull-headed and ignorant. I didn't mean it when I said you weren't useful and I didn't mean to imply that you don't know what you're doing. I know I can come off as arrogant and overconfident and I'm sorry. I've been trying to work on it but clearly, I haven't been trying hard enough. I'll do better. I promise."

With a heavy heart, he glances over at Remus.

"And I know…I know you weren't there, but I'm sorry to you too. I—at one point during the argument, I called you a menace and nothing but a problem to be vanquished. I'm sorry."

Remus stares at him. "Ro, you don't have to apologize to me for shit. I know I'm a menace, that's my whole fucking point. And you definitely don't have to apologize for being hurt. You just said you didn't do any of this shit on purpose and I know you. I know you'd—well, you'd rather kill yourself than destroy Thomas's videos and the Imagination. Don't apologize for being hurt, okay?"

"But I—"

"But nothing," Janus says smoothly, "you were hurt, sweetie. And we didn't make you feel like you could come to us. That's not your fault."

"None of us were there for the argument," Patton adds, "so we can't judge that part of it, but you don't have to apologize to us for the rest. You're—you're okay, sweetheart."

"You're dramatic," Virgil says, hands in his pockets, "but at least you're honest about it."

Janus scoffs something that sounds suspiciously like honesty's overrated but Roman's focused on Logan.

Logan, who's watching him carefully, so carefully, slowly reaches up and adjusts his glasses. "Roman, I…"

He trails off before he can finish his sentence. A lump appears in Roman's throat and he swallows, bowing his head and waiting for the blows to strike. He'll take them, he will, whatever comes with what Logan will say. He'll do it right this time, just accept them and nod and try to move on with it. He'll lick his wounds on his own in his room like a reasonable person and everything will be fine.

"Wow," he hears Remus scoff, "you really made him fucking perfect, didn't you? Bowing his head waiting for absolution and everything."

"What? What the heck are you on about, Remus?"

"This. This, his whole 'Good Creativity' thing."

"Yeah, I got that much, why're you saying we did it?"

"The Split. The whole get-the-bad-out, leave-the-good deal. The reason Thomas has two Creativities. I'm all the stuff you didn't want and so there he is with all the stuff you do."

There's a pause. Part of Roman wants to raise his head and see what's going on but he forces himself to wait.

"Remus," Janus rebukes with a gentleness reserved for only his partners, "the Split wasn't done so neatly. It wasn't like parts were selected for each of you."

"Yeah," Patton says, "and also, I didn't happen until after the Split. I think Thomas's whole Morality thing started in the aftermath of it. I wasn't around when it happened."

"I remember it," Virgil says, "but that's only 'cause J brought you and me in when we were all really little and he'd, like, just left. It was me, you, and J trying to figure stuff out and then Logan had Patton and Roman."

"Oh. Shit. Sorry, I, uh…"

"No, it's okay. We don't really know a lot about the Split anyways."

"You're all good, bud. Hey, whoa, c'mere."

There's the telltale rustling of someone being pulled into a hug and Roman knows Janus and Virgil have wrapped their arms around Remus. His heart screams for a moment in envious rage before he stamps it out with equal fervor. He's thankful Remus has two attentive and supportive partners, and he'd sooner fall on his sword than take it away from him.

He knows what that's like.

"Roman," Logan's voice comes from in front of him, much closer in front of him, "Roman, I'm sorry."

He raises his head, heart in his throat, as Logan reaches out and cups his face again.

"I'm sorry too," he says again, "I didn't—I shouldn't have said that you were unwanted. Or that you weren't capable of seeing reason. Or any of it, none of it's true. I just—I was so angry. I wanted to hurt you."

He swallows. "You did."

"I know. I know I did, Roman, I know I hurt you, little one. I—I'm sorry I hurt you. You're not unwanted, I promise. I want you. I want you quite badly."

The earnest way Logan says it threatens tears at the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry too."

Logan smiles, his own eyes slightly wet. "I forgive you, little one, I forgive you."

Relief sags through him and his legs almost buckle, smile breathless as he stares at Logan. It's okay, it's okay, it's all okay. Logan chuckles, letting him go, a familiar teasing grin taking shape as he ruffles Roman's hair.

The sudden release of the dread is almost strong enough to make him miss the way Janus is squinting at Logan's back.

"J-Janus? What's wrong?"

Janus's mouth presses into a thin line and he carefully extricates himself from Remus and Virgil, not taking his eyes off of Logan. "There are three types of lies."

Logan stiffens.

"Lies of commission, which are outright fabrications," he continues, walking closer, "lies of character, and lies of omission."

"Uh, okay?"

"Logan," and Roman wants to flinch at how cold Janus sounds right now, "you're lying."

Virgil scoffs. "What, he's lying about being sorry?"

"No, he's lying about the Split."

"He didn't say anything about the—oh, I see. I get where you're going now."

"Roman," Logan says, looking back up at him, "Roman, it's okay. We're okay, now, I'm sorry."

He reaches for him but Roman edges back. "What is Janus talking about?"

"Roman, I'm sorry—"

"What is he talking about?"

"Yeah, Logan," Remus says, making Logan whirl around, "what is he talking about?"

"Our dear darling Logan," Janus says, taking a step closer, "is withholding what he knows about the Split. Which is interesting, because as you'll recall, the Split happened after I'd left, before Virgil was formed enough to have sentience, and before Patton manifested. And, of course, before either of the twins existed."

Virgil frowns. "Wait, but that means that Logan, you…"

He trails off and his eyes widen as the implications of what Janus is saying sink in.

"…Logan?" Patton sounds small. "What do you know about the Split?"

"I—" Logan turns around and faces Roman again— "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, it wasn't—I didn't—please, just listen to me—"

"Oh, we're all listening," Remus growls, "and why're you only talking to Roman? Did you forget I got Split too? Or are you all too happy that happened?"

"That's not what I meant, I didn't—no, that's not why I—" Logan glances frantically at Remus then back to Roman— "just hear me out—"

"You've said that a few times," Virgil says, voice hardening, "and you've yet to actually say anything."

"Roman—"

"Don't fucking talk to him!"

Logan flinches at the force of Remus's shout. Remus forces Logan to turn around, getting right into his face.

"Talk to me," he roars, "tell me what you thought you were doing, tell me why you won't look at me!"

"Because it worked with you!"

Silence.

Remus staggers back from Logan like he's been stabbed, Virgil already standing between them.

"I…I didn't know it would Split," Logan says shakily, "I—I just talked to Creativity and I—I said—"

He swallows.

"I said that there were parts of him that were liked and parts that weren't. And that it…it made sense for them to be…be…"

"Be what," Virgil asks when Logan doesn't finish.

"…be separated," he says weakly, "but I just meant that he should know the difference! Not that he should Split!"

"Oh, Logan," Patton mumbles, "what did you do?"

"What did you mean," Janus asks sharply, "when you said it 'worked' with Remus?"

"Creativity asked what—what the bad parts of him were and so I said that people didn't like when he was loud and messy and scary and then when I—when I came back the next day, there was a—"

Logan's breath catches and he swallows.

"I was only a child, I didn't know that this would mean—"

"There was a what?"

"…a baby. A baby Side on a rock that had been wrapped in a black and green blanket."

Janus's breath catches next. His hand finds its way to Remus. "That's how I found you. You still have that blanket."

"He—Creativity was still there when I got there but he was—he was Fading. He was almost completely transparent, and he asked me if—what I would do with the parts of him I didn't want."

"So you just fucking left me?"

"I was a child! I was panicking, I didn't know what to do, I told him I didn't know what to do, but then he kept on getting more and more frantic, asking me what I was going to do with you and he—he fell apart!" Logan's hands fly up to tangle in his hair. "He fell apart and shimmered and—and when it was over…"

His hands slowly leave his hair as he turns to look over his shoulder.

"Roman," Patton finishes, "when it was over, there was Roman. You Split Creativity into Bad and Not Bad and what was left of Creativity when he removed all that he could label Bad was…Roman."

"No fucking wonder Princey's got so many issues."

"Roman," Logan says, turning fully to face him again, "Roman, please, I didn't know, I was—I was a child, I didn't mean it, I didn't know this was going to happen."

He reaches out, almost stumbling towards him.

"You're wanted, you're wanted, I promise, you're wanted," he rambles, "I want you, I want you, do you hear me? I want you Roman, it's okay, I want you—"

A low rumble and a thunderous crash as the remains of the tower collapse to the ground. The earth shudders.

Over Roman's shoulder, a doorway appears. The door swings open to reveal the Mindscape. Janus muffles a quiet curse as Virgil stands taller.

"C'mon," he says, urging Patton and Janus toward the door, "we gotta go."

"Just let me—"

"The Imagination is ours," comes Remus's voice, low and dangerous, "and it is somewhere you do not want to be right now."

"Logan, come on," Patton says—they've already made it through the door, "just—give them space for now."

But Logan stubbornly reaches for Roman one more time. "Roman, please. Please, little one."

Roman silently opens his arm and gestures toward the door with a blank expression.

The earth rumbles again and a deep cracking sound echoes off of distant cliffs.

Logan swallows and goes to the door. Roman doesn't turn to watch him. His gaze doesn't move from the middle distance until the door shuts and vanishes.

Then he opens his mouth and screams.

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[golden-songbird]

since i love sanders sides and whump, here are the sides as whumpees, caretakers, or whumpers depending on which role i think they suit best!!

tw for mentions of catatonia, emotional abuse, physical torture, and extreme people pleasing.

roman: whumpee. roman is a golden child at heart, so he would do whatever it takes to please the whumper right away. he wouldn’t act weak or be a pushover, but he would try to be who he thinks the whumper wants him to be by going above and beyond on tasks and always doing things with a smile. but it wears on him, and as the torture gets worse, and roman realizes that his desire to please isn’t changing anything, he grows extremely distressed and his mind breaks into catatonia. he’s barely able to break out of it when he’s rescued, and he regularly falls into his appeasing habits, stuck in that desperate need to please people in order to avoid injury or pain.

patton: whumper. yep. i said it. it’s controversial but it’s just how i think it would work. patton would be the most terrifying whumper because he acts like the worlds sweetest little thing. nobody would even suspect that he tortures people and traumatizes them to the point of no return. his abuse would mostly be emotional, taking advantage of peoples phobias, convincing them that they’re worthless, or that they only deserve love and human decency when they’re perfect, obedient little pets. but i could also see him getting physical, and then hugging his whumpee and saying stuff like “i wish i didn’t have to do it, but you just make me”.

logan: whumpee. logan is a rules guy. as a whumpee, he would observe what gets him in trouble and what doesn’t, and mentally create rules for himself in order to stay safe. he doesn’t care about his wants or needs. just following the rules and staying alive. he’s not much of a reacter unless he’s getting extremely tortured, and whumpers make a game out of trying to get a reaction out of him. so logan learns the rule to react early to avoid further torture. when he’s rescued, he keeps his rules, just in case he needs them again.

janus: caretaker. ferociously protective over whumpees, more on the side of caring for whumpees than getting back at whumpers, but he has a very strong sense of justice. he’s the kind of caretaker who’s stern with most people, but is super gentle with whumpee, trying to play a sort of good cop role as he coaxes whumpee to eat more or get some sleep. he’s typically a secretive guy, but whumpees bring out the honesty in him as he tries to make himself seem more approachable and less scary to whumpees. he’s just a great guy.

virgil: caretaker. his approach is different from janus’ in the sense that he is absolutely a revenge person. if someone hurts his friends, then they’re in for it. virgil is also a bit more tough love than janus, and he’s not afraid of being the bad guy if something has to get done and nothing anybody else is doing for whumpee is working. his harshness can lead to bad things, but oftentimes, it’s necessary to really break whumpee out of bad habits. virgil also tends to lose sleep trying to care for whumpee and forget about taking care of himself, which is very bad. but he works on it.

remus: whumpee. he is the classic defiant whumpee, but it’s in a different way. he doesn’t act angry or “tough guy”, but he does pretend to be unbothered by torture. he puts on a front that he doesn’t care about anything, including his own well-being, and he’s really good at keeping it up, but inside, he’s terrified of his weaknesses being discovered and exploited. he doesn’t trust anybody after he’s rescued, ever really. the trauma sticks with him, and even after he’s rescued, he feels like he’s still there forever, always needing to pretend that he doesn’t care about anything at all.