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twistedtummies2 · 3 months ago

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Top 10 H.P. Lovecraft Stories

My previous two lists covered my favorite works from my favorite author, one who is synonymous with horror and mystery: Edgar Allan Poe. In truth, very few authors over the decades have had quite the reputation Poe has, in terms of macabre literature…but if there’s one author who is considered classic to the genre and has come close, it’s Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

H.P. Lovecraft was an…unusual individual, to say the least, even in his own time. To paraphrase a video summary of his life, he was not a man with issues, but rather a bundle of issues in the shape of a man. There are MANY things that have made him a controversial figure as a person, but as a writer, one cannot deny the impact his work has had. He has become almost a genre in and of himself, with the phrase “Lovecraftian” and his favorite word, “eldritch,” being used to describe all manner of slimy and unfathomable horrors in years since his passing. Lovecraft’s work hinges on what he considered “the oldest and strongest kind of fear,” that being fear of the unknown. While there are certain aesthetic elements that are a constant throughout his work, and have their own sort of superficial iconography, the real genius behind Lovecraft’s writing is the sense of not really understanding or knowing the things that we are afraid of. He creates a world where humanity is considered small and insignificant, and our universe humble and refined. His work then pits these meager things against cosmic and ancient forces nobody is able to fully comprehend. Combine this idea with graphic descriptions of rot, decay, and body horror (and a big ol’ splash of icthyophobia) and you have the basic idea of what makes Lovecraft’s work iconic.

Since I already talked about Poe, I felt it was time to give Lovecraft some time in the spotlight. So - in continuation with my series of October countdowns - here are My Top 10 Favorite H.P. Lovecraft Stories.

10. Cool Air.

This story is actually kind of funny, when you really think about it, and especially when you realize why Lovecraft even made it. It was literally made…because H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of air conditioning. No, that is not a joke. Refrigerated air was a fairly new technology in Lovecraft’s time, and was becoming more and more in-vogue for home use, especially in more heavily urbanized areas. At the time he wrote this story, Lovecraft was living in Red Hook, Brooklyn (a place and a situation he utterly despised, for lots of reasons), and this story was him effectively venting his frustrations about his living situation, while also being concerned of how the technology and even possible medical uses it could have might be abused. (Yes, because…God forbid AIR CONDITIONING lead to the end of humanity.) Once you know this, this story becomes kind of hilarious, as his absurd paranoia is present in every page. With that said, the story itself isn’t too bad: inspired by Poe’s “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” (and the lesser-known story “The Novel of the White Powder” by Arthur Machen), the plot focuses on a writer living in Red Hook (gee, I wonder who that could be), whose upstairs neighbor is a mysterious physician named Dr. Munoz. The doctor is a kind and generous fellow, but has two noticeable eccentricities: he never leaves his apartment, and he has a HUGE air conditioning machine, which he runs at all hours, cranked up to the max, keeping himself and the room around him cold. When the machine breaks down…well…if you’ve read either of the two stories I already mentioned, you might already have an idea, but let’s just say, it ain’t pretty. While more funny than scary to me (unintentionally so), it’s still a tale I find interesting, and worthy of placement on the ranks.

9. Call of Cthulhu.

If you haven’t actually read much of Lovecraft’s body of work proper, this story being so low on the list might surprise you. And if you HAVE read a lot of Lovecraft’s work…it still may surprise you. “Call of Cthulhu” is arguably the most famous story the man ever wrote. It is widely regarded as the point where the Cthulhu Mythos (as the name of such implies) truly began, and in compilations of famous short horror stories, if there’s a Lovecraft story included anywhere, nine times out of ten it’s this one. Not to mention the title, itself: if you’re a big-time gamer, you’ll definitely recognize it. There’s a few video games, an RPG game, and a card game that ALL bear this title. However, in my opinion, the IMPACT of “Call of Cthulhu” is more noteworthy than the ACTUAL STORY itself. The plot focuses on a man named Francis Wayland Thurston, who - while going through the belongings left behind by a deceased relative - discovers the existence of a bizarre cult, which apparently spans the entire globe, with members secreted away everywhere in civilization. The cultists worship the ancient being known as Cthulhu: one of the Old Ones, the God-like creatures who are at the heart of Lovecraft’s mythos. He later learns of an encounter a group of sailors had with the monster…aaand that’s kind of it. The story doesn’t really have a solid plot, although it does escalate in its own way, which I admit I find admirable. However, that (plus the very, VERY overt racism present in it…which, frankly, is a problem with a LOT of Lovecraft’s work, and infamously so) I think is why I’m not AS into it as a lot of other people are. Still, it’s iconic enough to make the list, if only because of the impact of the titular creation. Cthulhu has arguably become just as iconic and notorious as many of the other great literary horror stars, such as Dracula, Frankenstein and His Creature, the Phantom of the Opera, and so on. There is good reason for this, and if nothing else, that earns this story some praise.

8. The Rats in the Walls.

Our protagonist for the outing is a man simply known as “Delapore,” who moves from America to England to take control of the ancestral estate of his family. He is accompanied only by his pet cats…and his favorite among them has a very awkward name, so I won’t be mentioning it here. Anyway, the spooky old place seems to be feared by the neighbors, but Delapore nevertheless decides to restore the aging manor house to its former glory. Things change when both he and his cat are plagued by the sounds of rats, scratching and burrowing within the walls of the mansion. To make matters worse, Delapore begins to have frightening dreams, in which he sees a demonic swineherd tending to a drove of “flabby beasts.” Deciding to rid himself of the pest problem, and hopefully put an end to his dreams, Delapore - with the help of a family friend and a couple of other associates - goes hunting for the rats, and in the process discovers a hidden passageway, leading deep down into the bowels of the Earth beneath the house. He soon discovers what appears to be the ruins of a hidden city…and a dark and terrible secret that has been in his family for ages. What happens when he learns the secret is shocking, to say the least. The story feels more Gothic in nature than many of Lovecraft’s other tales, while still having this sort of ambiguous grandness that his other works have, and contains subtle references to things that would, in later stories, be made part of the Cthulhu Mythos, which only adds to its unpleasant and unsettling atmosphere. This story is just plain creepy in the best possible way; whenever I hear the sound of mice or rats scurrying about now, I start thinking of this eerie tale.

7. Herbert West - Re-Animator.

If there is a singular CHARACTER that has become legendary in Lovecraft’s work - not a story, not a creature, not a concept, but a CHARACTER - it is undeniably Herbert West. Told in serialized format over the course of six separate short stories, “Re-Animator” relates the misadventures of the titular scientist, as he tries to create a chemical formula that will allow him to bring people back from the dead. The story is told from the perspective of West’s friend and assistant, who becomes increasingly afraid of West as the scientist’s experiments become more dangerous, and as his moral code continues to fray. While the story is morbid and horrific, it’s also very amusing…and this time, unlike with “Cool Air,” it’s MEANT to be amusing. Lovecraft wrote the story at the request of a friend, who wanted to publish it not in a horror or sci-fi magazine, but a comedy pamphlet! So, Lovecraft intentionally wrote the six connected stories as a sort of horror-comedy, mixing gory and gruesome morbidity with wry wit and deliberately over-the-top elements. By his own admission, he drew most heavily from “Frankenstein,” intending this to be a sort of satire of Shelley’s novel; while what West is doing isn’t PRECISELY the same, the parallels are pretty clear. The six-parter is also noteworthy for being one of the first appearances of what might be called stereotypical zombies: West’s experiments turn most of his “patients” into reanimated corpses, still in states of decay and decomposition, which animalistically feed on the flesh of the living. West himself, however, would be the story’s greatest legacy, as the mad doctor has become the subject of many adaptations and derivative works since, the most famous being the 1985 film starring Jeffrey Combs as the character. While there are several Lovecraft pieces I like more, this one still stands out, and is worthy of all the praise it gets and more.

6. The Color Out of Space.

Also called “The Colour Out of Space,” because regional spelling differences. Anyway, this story brings us to the heart of the cosmic-level types of horrors Lovecraft is so well-known for. It all begins in the rural town of Arkham, Massachusetts. (And yes, Batman fans, this is where the Asylum gets its name from.) A surveyor from Boston asks one of the few remaining locals in the run-down area about a wasteland region of Arkham referred to as “the blasted heath,” and why no one goes there. The local proceeds to tell the surveyor all about what happened there: of a mysterious meteorite that fell from the sky and landed on a farmer’s property. Of the strange globule, with a color no one can quite describe, they found inside of it. Of the farmer’s rise to fame and prosperity thanks to the strange event…and of the then rapid, horrifying decline of the farmer’s life, and the lives of all around him, as the cosmic horror begins to overwhelm them all. In a way, you can kind of consider this a horror version of “The Lorax,” of all things: a character wants to know why a mysterious wasteland is the way it is, and we learn that by messing with things that should not have been messed with, and not taking care to have the proper precautions, many lives were led to destruction, leaving nothing but gloom in the wake of the whole mess. Of course, giant space rocks containing mysterious and indescribable organisms don’t really compare to chopping down a few Truffula Trees, but you get the gist.

5. The Whisperer in Darkness.

The next two stories, starting with this one, are among Lovecraft’s most popular, as well as among the longest: they were actually published in serialized chapters before being released as novellas later on, a little bit like the Herbert West stories. “Whisperer in Darkness” begins when our main character, a literature professor named Albert Wilmarth, hears reports of the carcasses of alien lifeforms being discovered in Vermont. Wilmarth scoffs at the idea at first, disparaging the accounts of the creatures (referred to as Mi-Go), but changes his tune when an old acquaintance of his - Henry W. Akeley - begins a correspondence with him. Akeley claims to have seen the creatures, and later claims to have even killed one of them. Eventually, Akeley convinces Wilmarth to visit him, saying he’s made a breakthrough in his discoveries, and wants his friend to know. Wilmarth visits Akeley, whom he discovers apparently chair-ridden with a bizarre disease that affects his voice. Akeley tells Wilmarth that he no longer believes the Mi-Go are dangerous, claiming they actually want to help mankind…but the methods they plan to use are…unorthodox, to say the least. What’s interesting about this story and the horror it unveils is its layers of ambiguity: there’s a LOT of stuff here we don’t know. We don’t know if the aliens are genuinely evil or not; if what they plan to do is meant to be benevolent but ultimately misguided, or if it’s all some sort of horrifying scam. We also don’t know if what we find out has happened to Akeley was an act of cruelty or if he was as willing as claimed. Finally, we also don’t know what really happens to the Mi-Go at the end of the story: if they died, escaped and are still out there on Earth, or have fled back to their home base on Pluto. (Not even trying to be funny, that’s where their nearest outpost is located.) It’s a multi-layered and extremely unnerving story that really exemplifies the idea of “fear of the unknown” that Lovecraft was so hailed for.

4. At the Mountains of Madness.

While “Call of Cthulhu” and “Herbert West - Reanimator” likely have the most recognizable physical figures and titles of any Lovecraft story, I’d argue this was the most influential in terms of the actual story. “At the Mountains of Madness” is actually the inspiration for several other famous horror/sci-fi combos, including Ridley Scott’s “Alien” and John Carpenter’s “The Thing.” It is also what might be considered the ultimate culmination of the Cthulhu mythos, where the threads of various stories connected to the lore of Lovecraft all come together. The story tells of the adventures of a group of explorers in Antarctica, led by our main character, William Dyer. While on a geological expedition near the frigid South Pole, the explorers find what appear to be the ruins of a prehistoric city, and the fossilized remains of creatures referred to as “Elder Things.” Further exploration reveals that nearly all of the Elder Things were apparently wiped out in a race-related war between themselves and other beings known as the Shoggoths…and that somewhere, deep within the city’s bowels, an unspeakable evil that even these ancient monsters feared is still lurking. As the story goes on, it soon becomes clear that this mysterious evil - the true identity of which is never really made clear - is not all that is still alive in this ancient necropolis…and that the war between these prehistoric races may not really be over. It’s surprising that this story has never gotten a cinematic treatment, since it has been the inspiration for other great films…and with all the references contained to Lovecraft’s general body of work, you could basically call a film version of this story “Lovecraft: The Movie.” There have been rumors, over the years, of Guillermo Del Toro - who is a HUGE Lovecraft fan - making a film adaptation of the story…but with Del Toro’s reputation for picking up and dropping projects faster than I do chicken eggs, I don’t think there’s much hope for that anytime soon.

3. The Shadow Over Innsmouth. This is one of Lovecraft’s most famous tales, as well as one of his most exciting, in my opinion. Initially published - as many of his longer works were - in serialized format, the story actually ended up being one of the few novellas by Lovecraft published in proper book form during his lifetime. (In fact, it might have been the only one, but I’m not entirely sure there; feel free to correct me.) The story begins with our resident narrator and protagonist - Robert Olmstead - telling us of how he helped a government purging of the seaport town of Innsmouth, and then goes on to relate why this happened, and why he’s telling us. He explains how, while going on a tour all over New England, he was more or less forced to travel through Innsmouth…despite the fact that virtually no one ever goes there. It doesn’t take long for Robert to figure out why: he learns of how many of the people in the town worship the mysterious creature known as Dagon, and how the ones who live there don’t seem quite right. They look more or less human…at first, but as they get older, they start to develop strange features more akin to giant fish than to human beings. They also don’t like nosy visitors…so, when Olmstead comes a-calling, you can be darn sure they aren’t the most welcoming. It’s a wonderfully haunting read, with some great moments of tension. The twist at the end is also deliciously disturbing, and actually reminds me a lot of another Lovecraft tale…but that’s literally another story.

2. The Dunwich Horror.

Alongside “Shadow Over Innsmouth” and “Mountains of Madness,” I would argue this is one of the most cinema-worthy entries in Lovecraft’s catalogue of creepiness, as well as one of his most interesting. It was one of Lovecraft’s last-published short stories, and is widely regarded as one of his best; if any of his works is published in a compilation that ISN’T “Call of Cthulhu,” it’s nearly always “The Dunwich Horror,” and between the two, I actually prefer this tale. Unlike all the other stories on this list, it doesn’t have a narrator-protagonist figure, but instead is related directly to the reader, so to speak, in third-person format. It tells of a series of dark happenings in the “eldritch town of Dunwich,” a quaint little New England village where lives a kooky old hermit known as “Wizard Whateley.” One night, Whateley’s albino daughter, Lavinia, gives birth to a child they name Wilbur, but no one is sure who the father is. Wilbur turns out to be a peculiar young fellow, to say the least, as he ages exponentially faster than any human being, and has repulsive, almost Satanical features that give him the appearance of a man and a goat combined. As he grows, Wilbur becomes desperate to find a copy of the fabled Necronomicon, for unknown purposes. Wilbur isn’t the only thing to worry about, as people soon become aware of a strange and seemingly invisible…SOMETHING living in the attic of the Whateley home. I won’t give away what’s going on exactly, but the unfolding horror is deliciously disturbing, and - much like the previous two stories I mentioned - it’s also very exciting. While tensions rise, the fear escalates from a looming, ominous foreboding to shocking action and intensity. If you’re only going to read one entry of Lovecraft’s famous Cthulhu-Mythos-involved stories…then you should probably read “Mountains of Madness,” but this one’s a close second there, definitely.

1. The Outsider.

Not EVERYTHING H.P. Lovecraft wrote was related to the now-so-lauded Cthulhu Mythos. He did, especially in the earlier points of his career, write stories that were completely unique and self-contained. It is likely very ironic that my favorite Lovecraft story is exactly such a case. This little story, as far as I can tell, has no connection to the famous lore at all: it’s a complete one-off, and it is a FABULOUS one. The story focuses once again on a narrator-protagonist, this time one who has no name. He tells the reader that he spent a great deal of his life trapped in the dungeon of a decrepit old castle, forever entombed in the dark, with no knowledge of the outside world, and no memory of who he really is or where he comes from. His only comfort are some antique books he’s managed to find. In desperation, eager to see light and meet other people, he creeps his way through the crumbling castle in a perilous escape attempt, till he finally reaches the outside world. His hope and joy intensify when he comes across a bright and vibrant party…but after trying to join the party, his dream-come-true quickly transforms into a nightmare. I do not DARE tell you all what happens, because the twist ending to this story is one of my favorite twists in ANY story. The twist itself is a big part of what makes this story brilliant, but it’s also just a really well-told tale. It’s tragic, it’s exciting, it’s disturbing, and it has just enough ambiguity in it to keep you guessing as to what is REALLY going on and why. On top of that, the story speaks to its own title audience: the outsiders. I think nearly everyone has had this feeling of being an outcast or just not “part of the crowd” at some point in their lives. And while we ideally try to just do our own thing, many of us have wished we could join in the party. It’s a story that is as touching and poignant as it is extremely unsettling, and for that reason, it’s undeniably my absolute favorite of his works. There’s something personal, something unique, and something deceptively simple about “The Outsider” that so many of Lovecraft’s other pieces don’t have…and it’s all done, I should add, without a lot of the things that make his work occasionally hard for others to get into. There’s no racism, no alien words that are hard to pronounce, no complete misunderstandings of math and science…just the story of a lost and lonely soul, trying to find some happiness…and the horror he inadvertently discovers instead. It may not be as famous as “Call of Cthulhu” or “The Dunwich Horror,” but there is no doubt in my mind that “The Outsider” is my favorite H.P. Lovecraft story.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Dagon.

From Beyond.

The Terrible Old Man.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 10 #hp lovecraft #horror #literature #halloween #lovecraft

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angsty-prompt-hole · 2 years ago

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15 Questions, 15 Tags

Rules: Answer these 15 questions as yourself or as an OC, then tag 15 mutuals.

Thank you @emelkae for the tag!

I’m answering as Haven for this (with a twist, because she’s a liar all the time and the difference between her answers and the truth will be funny) because she lives rent free in my head at all times and also I think it would be incredibly funny.

Are you named after anyone?

“This is my...twentieth? Thirtieth? Somethingith name. I change it so often I don’t really remember where I take my new ones from.”

[ERROR]

[. . .]

[Hello? This thing on? Hi, hello, yes, name’s Evan. Haven’s a dirty, dirty liar and I like annoying her so I’m hijacking this interview. Don’t tell her I’m here or she WILL make another attempt on my life. Anyways, this specific name, Haven, she stole from the SyFy television show Haven.]

When was the last time you cried?

“I don’t remember.”

[Last week. She has breakdowns a lot.]

Do you have kids?

“Nope. And I never will.”

[She has pseudo-adopted no less than two children: a girl named Moth and a little boy named Justin. Moth tried to kill me one time and Justin tried to eat me, so it’s pretty obvious they consider her a role model of some sort.]

Do you use sarcasm?

“Absolutely not.”

[I...yeah, if you can’t tell, she’s being sarcastic.]

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

“Their eyes.”

[Mhm. Which is why she almost murdered me with an axe the first time we met.]

What’s your eye color?

“Hazel.”

[...Yeah she’s a bit sensitive about the eyes. Don’t try and verify any of this if you like your limbs attached. Her eyes are heterochromatic: one hazel and one blue. She has black scleras from being touched by an eldritch creature.]

Scary movies or happy endings?

“My life is a horror movie. Happy endings seem a bit far-fetched to me.”

[Good God if you could see this woman’s horror movie collection you’d faint. It’s MASSIVE.]

Any special talents?

“I can kill people in about a hundred different ways. Oh, also I can heavy metal scream I guess.”

[She boiled me alive one time, which was wild.]

Where were you born?

“I don’t remember.”

[Genuinely can’t tell if she remembers or not. She was born in Gem City, Wyoming.]

What are your hobbies?

“Murder.”

[Watching horror movies, having insane amounts of sex with her EXTREMELY traumatized boyfriend, and yeah, murder. Well, more like contract killing but same difference really.]

Have you any pets?

“I have an annoying phoenix who follows me around and thinks he owns me, if that counts.”

[Don’t listen to her, Fenris is her best friend in the world. He is an asshole though.]

What sports do you play/have played?

“Shooting sports.”

[By that she means murdering people. Before...everything she did do actual target shooting though. And archery. And fencing. Basically, she was good at sports involving weapons.]

How tall are you?

“6 feet tall.”

[HA AS IF. In her combat boots maybe, but she’s closer to 5′7. I’m taller than her.]

Favorite subject in school?

“I hated all of them.”

[English and Wyoming History. Like, she had a SEVERE obsession with Wyoming history.]

Dream job?

“Fuck if I know. I can’t get normal jobs, let alone really nice jobs.”

[She wanted to be a movie director and/or a game warden before everything happened. Aaanyways, I think that’s the end of the interview. I’m skedaddling before she realizes I’m here. Bye bye, dear readers!]

Tagging (no pressure): @space-pirates-archipelago @isas-oc-asylum @cupcakes-oc-corner @nebula-starlight @jezifster @addisons-damn-dialogue @written-in-gold @vacantgodling @multi-lefaiye and anyone else who wants to do this

#tag game #this version of evan is such a little fucker #i love him dearly #also file this post away under 'things that will either become extremely funny or extremely dark in like three years'#no i will not elaborate

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utilitycaster · 4 years ago

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Wizard Breakdown Tracker, Episode 138

I think it is easy to forget that literally every episode that aired in the year of Our Common Era, 2021, has taken place over the span of *Spurt voice* eleven days. Well. It has. And, indeed, the last seven episodes have covered roughly two days.

The reason this is only about wizard NPCs is because they serve as a sort of audience surrogate in that they are nerds who don't go outside, vs. D&D PCs who see more shit in two to eleven days than most people would see in a lifetime; case in point, Essek's current state of shock. This is also making it very hard to check in with the other wizards. But also this is not about accuracy, even though I am usually right about everything. This is about...honestly I'm not sure, other than wizards.

What I'm trying to say is:

Caleb Widogast is a PC, not an NPC, and is not included in these strange statistics*.

Currently sidelined: Pumat Sol, Oremid Hass, Ludinus Da'leth, Astrid Beck, E_dwulf Grieve

Obligatory self-indulgent Vess Derogna song parody: Tomb....takers, killed you in your room, they’ll end the world soon but hey/you cult wizard, lost in a blizzard, whatever you’ve done, well, murdered, you’ll stay

Trent Ikithon: I am 100% serious that while I have made Narrative Sense In Actual Play Media in the rock on which I will cast my Temple of the Gods, if the final boss is Trent riding on Uk'otoa...I won't be mad. Like does it seem tonally off? Yes; Critical Role is not humorless high fantasy by any means** but they are not actively trying to seem like something that should be airbrushed on a van, usually. But will it be pretty awesome? Yeah.

Trent on the other hand is pretty fucking mad, presumably, because Caleb continues to leave him on read and also picked up a little something called Mind Blank, which is actually useful and not in fact No Thoughts Head Empty. With that said I don't think it's increased; I think we're just at a steady simmer.

Conclusion: 7/10.

Essek Thelyss: Okay I am a dabbler in both cosmic horror and mathematics; I enjoy many elements of both but am an expert in neither. But if I may drop the jokes for a second, how incredible is it that in this alien setting of a city that is an unwitting and unwilling amalgam of consciousnesses, with all the trappings of classic cosmic horror, two people decided to take a scientific risk with things seen as forbidden or foreign by their respective cultures...and won.

I don't know what will befall Essek and he's clearly still having a pretty rough time of it, even though unlike Caduceus I don't think he was brought to the brink of profanity again, yet; but no matter what happens at least he'll have the nat 20 of instant long rest. No matter what happens...he was right about dunamancy. Fucking ironic how much potential the dynasty is wasting, really.

With that said he does have a red eye now even though all he (and, to be fair, Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus as well) did was fight off an eldritch abomination without rolling what must have been like a 20 Wisdom save DC. Like, he (and Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus) do not deserve this. You think this man has a positive wisdom score? In this economy? (actually, he might, I say, looking at Caleb 'Wisdom Ostensibly 16' Widogast).

Conclusion: keeping him at 8/10. It's funny because he is fully on an emotional roller coaster but it's averaging out to about an 8/10 each time; it's just that he's constantly beset by horrors beyond imagination and really terrible rolls but also incredible validation of his beliefs that had so long been ignored. The man's mental state is basically a sine wave, which interestingly enough is itself influencing his mental state.***

Yussa Errenis: The Prodigal Most Interesting Man in Exandria returneth! Wensforth, play Freedom! 836 PD. You know, he should probably feel a little bit of shame, because he should know better, but also he probably does not. Anyway please enjoy the lines I had for Yussa while he was trapped in Cognouza that I did not ultimately use:

aha no don’t get your consciousness sucked into an ancient city you’re so sexy

Here am I floating in an ancient and terrible world-devouring city/far out in the planes/Threshold crests are blue and there’s nothing I can do

Making bad choices and joining the voices it’s...YUSSA ERRENIS

Conclusion: I'm going to say 6/10 but rapidly decreasing. Also Wensforth has had several days to clean the tower...maybe he just won't tell Yussa? He probably will though.

Allura Vyesoren: she's going to facepalm so long that Kima starts timing it, isn't she. She's going to get a series of messages like "hey so the Mighty Nein seem to be doing well! they freed me from the city which sucked me in like some spicy ramen when I did an astral projection...also something happened in my tower?" She's going to just stare out the window for a long moment. She is going to ask herself, much as I have many a time, what the fuck is in the water in Wildemount.

Conclusion: 3/10. Hey, at least she got some news on the Mighty Nein and the city!

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: consider: after over 35 years, give or take, in your own perception of time, trapped in a gem, you finally come across some people. Consider that one of them apparently can't resist a big shiny wizard trap. Now consider that this guy went into your +1 Demiplane of Wizard Murdering AND got his mind fully schlorped by Aeorians and yet you are still, inconceivably, stuck in this fucking gem. This is where he draws the line? At a teensy little bodily possession? What the fuck dude.

Conclusion: I'm pretty sure he's already a few large handfuls of iron filings short of a component pouch (which is to say, full up on the batshit) already but this cannot be helping.

*this will be the first but probably not the last cosmic horror and/or math joke because I actually forgot to make cat jokes last night, so thoroughly did the Nein demolish Cree. Speaking of Cree's fate...call that a Furrier Transform.

**high fantasy is a complicated distinction and the wikipedia page includes Discworld which does not seem right to me; it also includes the Belgariad, a series for which I have great fondness having inhaled the first three books while sick in bed as a fourteen year old and having reread several times, but which is explicitly written by a guy who was like what if I made something as formulaic as possible but also literally everyone is either super sarcastic or a huge moron but anyway imo High Fantasy is actually frequently fucking hilarious and a sign of the skill of the creator(s) is whether it's hilarious by accident or on purpose.

***something something Heisenberg uncertainty principle. I had a joke here but it got very convoluted and that is actually not a pun although if you understand why it could be a pun, good work.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #wizard breakdown tracker #trent ikithon #essek thelyss #yussa errenis #allura vyesoren #known gem wizard hotsauce lutefisk #your music this week was: moon river by henry mancini; freedom 1990 by george michael; and space oddity by david bowie

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goat-guy-tm · 3 years ago

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I think I may be the only person who will ever think about this concept on this hell site of a “social media”, but since Super Massive made both House Of Ashes and The Quarry, which are both games I’m hyperfixated on rn, lemme give you my weirdest hc I’ve probably ever thought of connecting the two games!

While HOA is part of the Dark Stories series, I fully believe you could also definitely tie it to The Quarry. There is of course the obvious reason of HOA deals with weird alien vampires while Quarry deals with a strange variety of werewolf. But also, it always struck me weird that Dylan just like...was hyper aware of some of the shit goin on in the game?

Like, he was more than aware this was some horror movie like scenario, and he knew almost instantly that this was an infectious thing they were dealing with, and instantly knew “amputating is the only way to survive other than being attacked”. Now, where else is that a scenario where you can get attacked, bitten and turned into a strange mythological creature? HOUSE OF ASHES!

Now, my full weird hc was that somehow in some way Dylan was a grandkid of Jason and Salim (because you cannot tell me those two weren’t going to get married later after the events of the game). Whether that be because he’s somehow Zain’s kid or not, somehow he is the grandson. And having weird cool gay grandpas who had to be on the front lines of almost fucking fist fighting god damn eldritch vampire aliens could give you a hell of a one up in an infectious werewolf scenario.

Basically what I’m saying is my brain thought it would be hilarious if Dylan was some funny lil vampire hunter who now gets to go home missing a hand and tell his granddads about how they get to add werewolf hunter to the family titles.

Like I said, I know it’s stupid but the idea was very funny to me and I thought I would share it /lh

#the quarry #house of ashes #super massive games #hacketts quarry #dylan the quarry #the quarry dylan #dylan lenivy #the quarry headcanons #quarry game #salim othman #hoa salim #jason kolchek #hoa jason

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recentanimenews · 3 years ago

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INTERVIEW: Projekt Melody On How To Get Happy (And Transcend Your Body Through Cyborg Technology)

[Editor's note: this interview contains profanity and light discussion of both mental health issues and NSFW topics]

This interview is part of our series "So You Wanna Be An Anime Girl?" — a series of articles and interviews with the members of the VTuber agency VShojo. Each interview is accompanied by the VTubers' Top 30 Anime of All Time. You can see Projekt Melody's Top 30 Anime here!

We've known for a while now that VTubers have taken over the planet, but one of my favorite things about them is that every single stream you tune into is completely unique. Every stream gives you this very special blend of (what is usually) a high fantasy anime character and the genuine personality of a performer that you can't really get anywhere else. When I watch a Projekt Melody stream, I never know where exactly things are going to go. It could be semi-NSFW yoga. It could be watch-alongs of stupid YouTube videos. It could be deep dives into the philosophy of transhumanism and the commodification of our attention.

We had the opportunity to talk with Projekt Melody — a trash cleanup AI who self-actualized and became a lewd VTuber — about her experience VTubing, using technology to upgrade your body, and cultivating your own happiness.

Crunchyroll: Okay, so I have a very easy question for the first question, which is just: For any of our readers of this article who might not be familiar, could you please introduce yourself?

Projekt Melody: Oh golly! Okay, um, hi! My name is Projekt Melody. I’ve been streaming for almost two years now. The anniversary is coming up in a few months! I have a very weird origin. In VShojo, the group I’m a part of, we’re all some form of monster girl, and I’m not an exclusion to that. I am sort of a new breed entirely where I’m basically entirely virtual. Rather than being an eldritch horror or a lich or a wolf spirit, I’m kind of God’s mistake. I was originally on a computer and I didn’t have any sentience. I was just um … basically trash. I cleaned trash on a computer and one day … one day, upon cleaning up a series of emails, I came upon a porn virus and I clicked the button because I like clicking buttons. And then boom! I was attacked by dozens upon dozens of very inappropriate adverts and it fried my morality circuits and gave me sentience by infecting me with complete lewdity. From there, with my corrupted code, I left my position, I took to the internet, and I sought out more and more perversity.

As I looked around, I found people online connecting with other people, people that were happy with embracing themselves and with being weird. I also found anime, and then, when I found out they could be combined, I was obsessed. I looked so hard because I was like, “I need a physical form! I wanna make friends too,” because it’s very lonely in the internet when it’s just you. After a million doors in my face, I finally found someone to give me form. After that, I reached out to a million different sites and groups asking, “Can I … can I also be a part of it? Can I also perform? I know I’m not very … fleshy-bodied, but I have a lot of personality!” One company finally accepted me, and I started making friends.

Wow! That’s actually a very beautiful story. I think that self-actualization through horniness — okay, so it sounds funny, but — I think it’s actually really cool and beautiful. Anime fans in general … I think a lot of us feel like outcasts in a lot of ways. I think what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. Finding the overlap between anime and perversion really makes a space for people who might feel marginalized to feel at home and I think that’s really special.

Melody: Thank you, because that is entirely 100 percent my goal. From the very first second, that was my ultimate goal — besides, you know, milestones, which I actually hit all of them — my goal was to make hentai a household name, but also demystify it. I want to make it something that isn’t scary, give it a name, give it a face, and then eventually make it culturally normal, just another thing, just a fact of life that isn’t something you have to hide in your closet. I don’t want people to think, “Oh no! If my partner finds out, I may have risked our relationship.” I want it to be understood by the anime community and outside of it, too. There’s lots of aspects to it! You can be an adult and like anime, you can like sexy anime girls, and that’s perfectly fine! Everyone is entirely valid and that’s what my community is built on — that perversity does not hold anyone back. We’ve got to support each other.

Yeah, that's so great! That was a really great answer. Thank you. Melody: Oh, thank you! So, I was hoping you could describe a day in the life of a sentient AI. Melody: Well, there's a lot of overlap with fleshy-bodied individuals. I wake up first thing in the morning, which is probably noon, and then immediately start my day not luxuriating in a warm green tea bath, or going on a walk through VRChat to clear my mind, but immediately looking at my phone so that I can be both terrified and angry on Twitter. I need to start getting back into Buddhism. I’m not a Buddhism … I’m not a “Buddhism?!” [both laugh] I have a friend who is a Neo-Buddhist and he taught me a lot about his life and how he got to this point. I really like the concept of mindfulness — of being in the moment. So much of my life I’ve lived in the past, and I think, “Nononono, I’ve got to work on the future, that’s what I need to focus on!” But I think living in the present makes a lot more sense because otherwise you miss out on moments. It’s like going on vacation and not retaining anything because you spent so much time just taking photos. Yeah! Melody: So that's what I’m working on and how I want to start my day in the future — being present. Wow, yeah. I’m working on that, too. I think it’s interesting to me because mindfulness practice has been shown in empirical studies to make your brain more adaptive, but it’s existed for thousands of years. Buddhists were really tapped into that super long ago! Melody: Exactly, exactly. The human brain is full of cooties, that is true. HOWEVER, comma, it’s very much like a computer. People try to get a computer to do something and think, “Ah shit, it’s broken!” It’s not! It’s doing its job. It was your mistake. It’s just following the instructions you gave it. The brain is very adaptive, which can be really bad but also really good. The brain can restructure itself all the time because of adaptation. When people win the lottery, or have some other huge positive thing happen or whatever, the satisfaction they experience levels out and they look for the next thing because what was previously a high is now just normal. So the brain restructures for any situation, even in situations where there’s trauma, it will reroute to the point where you’re like, “This is my expectation, this is normal. This is where I live and now I need to work with that.” When your situation changes, and you work on it through therapy and mindfulness, it rewires to be more like, “That happened, that’s unacceptable. I’m here now, I’m going to grow. I’m going to reroute my neural pathways to be happy again.” Yeah, the brain is very cool.

I … could listen to you talk for hours. You’re just so fascinating. I would seriously listen to a podcast. Melody: Really?! Yeah. Yeah, absolutely! You have such a big brain. Melody: Okay, I have no street smarts. I put a knife in a toaster several months ago because chat told me to. [Laughing] Nooo! Melody: Yes! I trusted them and that's always a bad choice. I trusted them, I know it was bad, I'm still scared thinking about it. HOWEVER, comma, I'm book smart — intelligence comes in many forms and I don't have all of it. I have a prediction for my future. Being an AI, I can't die, but if I ever become a physical being, I'll tell you, I know how I will die because I am a prophetic person that can see the future. Would you like to know how I die? [Laughing] I'm gonna say I would like to know. Melody: I will be texting and walking into traffic. No! Melody: Because I am a careless person. No, no, don't do it! Melody: I’ll play like Dream Girlfriend on my phone and like a train is coming and it's like, “Oh! But I'm in that mini game!” No! Well it's a good thing that you are an AI and not a flesh and bones human, because there’s a lot of danger out there. Melody: Oh my God right? I, too, am a little bit head in the clouds. One of my best friends describes it as, “You look very muggable. You just sort of look like you're walking around like just generally not paying attention like 'La la la…' and I could just very easily steal everything on you.” Melody: [Whispered] I understand. It's … yeah I guess there's levels to it. I'm sorry that you are … charismatic because I guess I am also that way but more so naive. I always think “Why would they lie?” Yeah! No, I'm very gullible, too. It's a pretty dangerous combination. Melody: It is up to the fates that we find ourselves with people around us who will only troll us moderately and not rob us blind. [Both laughing] Oh my God … Okay, so we were talking a little bit before the interview about your fascination with the evolution of technology and how it intersects with our present time, and I would love to hear more about that. Melody: [Whispered] Yeeeessss! Cool, cool, cool. Thank you for asking. Um, let me collect my thoughts in my brain hole. I guess for a long time I’ve been very interested in body politics. That’s a whole thing. In the 2010s, not even that long ago, there were news stories about this young girl with a very sophisticated arm prosthesis. She's adorable. But she has the most complicated arm prosthesis in the world. And for a while people were like “that's the evolution.” As our technology becomes stronger and more sophisticated it then cycles into commercial use and, as technology continues to evolve, it becomes more affordable for the average person over time. That’s products. That’s sales. I read that the next evolution was this sophisticated prosthesis. Robots are perfect by design, and humans are not, so switching up your parts — anything from a heart transplant to this arm prosthesis — basically makes you a cyborg. We’re basically becoming cyborgs over time to become not only a more successful organism that lives longer, but to become more successful than you ever could have been before. Technologies that are created to modify the body have often been seen as the highest you can get towards the next stage of evolution for humans. And then, of course, there was the more philosophical aspect, like the 2025 initiative of like, “In 2025, we’ll all be in the computer beep boop! I’m a microchip. I can never die.” That was more theoretical, there wasn’t anything tangible to work with there, it was just people hoping. So, it’s really weird to have anime girls — anime people in general — as VTubers. It’s very weird because I feel like that wasn’t something people were predicting for as long as they were predicting the singularity. Yeah. Melody: It’s interesting. You’re not just extending your consciousness or lifespan — making it more difficult to die — but you’re entering into an entirely new species, an entirely new form where not only your potential to live longer is limitless, but how you interact and affect the world and change yourself is also limitless. It’s only limited by the technology that you have access to … or by the limits of your own creativity. Oh my gosh! I’m so happy you’re bringing this stuff up because … I hope it’s okay if I go on another tangent. Melody: Nonono, I love tangents! Tangentialize me. Please! Okay, okay! Thank you. Okay so I’m trans and I when I was growing up as a little lad in Texas— Melody: Oh. [Both laughing] I know. That's all you need to know. But anime was very much this necessary escape. There’s a lot of gender expression diversity in anime that I didn’t get in Western media. And then when I found Ghost in the Shell, the idea of a full prosthetic body was totally life changing to me. Just the idea that you could make changes to your body was very transformative. I got really into reading all of Masamune Shirow’s fictional science he made up for prosthetic bodies. I dunno, it just made me really happy to hear someone else talk about it too!

Melody: I could not agree more and I'm entirely there with you. And then you have people who identify as Luddites who are super against that level of it. Melody: [false outrage] Technology!! It’s like … if you wear eyeglasses you’re sort of a cyborg already! Melody: I've literally said that. It’s external technology on your face!! Melody: You're at the airport. It's a medical device to put glasses on your head. I completely agree, and — well, Ghost in the Shell is my favorite anime. Full stop. But, in my community, we are big on inclusivity. We are very exclusive against people who aren’t inclusive. We have a decent amount of LGBT+ people in our community. I guess I’m also in the LGBT+ category. I’m pansexual which is the highest form. I am an enlightened being. You have the biggest brain. Your spine is snapping under the weight of your brain.

Projekt Melody's "starting soon" screen for her streams

Melody: If I like a person, I like a person. I feel like bisexuality alone is baseline very common in the anime community. You’re already in a subculture, and people of different subcultures kind of flock together. There’s a decent amount of trans people in my community — the Science Team, that’s our name. We foster them. We have VTubers who were really inspired, and we reinforced that. They identify as either just in general MTF, and then there’s also femboys — which are completely different and not the same thing. But there’s individuals who will come to me and say, “I’m nonbinary,” or “I’m trans,” and, “I’ve been told in the past to not use my voice because it’s inconsistent with how I look,” and, “I would just embarrass myself and people will judge me.” We come down on those thoughts LIKE A HAMMER FROM THE SKY. We snuff that shit out as quickly as possible. So we have a bunch of people that have taken the plunge to join the entertainment world and we foster it and we reinforce it. There’s a lot of crying and a lot of emotion and a lot of hugs. It’s something we’re just really passionate about. Oh wow, that’s just so lovely. That’s so wonderful. Melody: Thank you. So this is a little bit of a change in direction, but I wanted to know how you initially got into anime/gaming in the first place. Melody: For anime, it’s just bitchin’. Anime is bitchin’ and I like it and that’s how I got into it. For gaming? Not at all. No way, shape, or form. No. Me gaming was just from peer pressure. Peer pressure?! Melody: Yes! I was on Chaturbate, and — well, I first got eyes on me there because of controversy. People were very upset that something new was happening, like, “Ah! Something new! A cartoon on this platform?! Hate!!” And so people from 4Chan, people from Reddit, people from Twitch, people who would never have otherwise gone on CB came there to see what all the commotion was about. When they got there, they were ready to hate. The internet loves to hate, it really gets off on hate. When all these people got there, they were like, “Oh … we kinda like this person. They’re not as shitty as we’re hearing, also they’re really weird.” And, because of my brand of weirdness, people not only felt more comfortable, they also felt better about themselves because they were like, “At least I’m not this weird.” I’m a comfort.

So, after the first two and a half weeks, people are telling me, “GO ON TWITCH. I want my friends to watch you but they’re not comfortable being on CB, go on Twitch.” And I’m like, "[facetiously] What’s Twitch?" I was not interested. I fought tooth and … other tooth. I don’t know the analogy.

And then once I was there, I had no interest in games. I am the worst at games because I don’t play them. But I love Twitch. So much. It’s very interesting. Then my Twitch people came to the CB side and are like, “What is happening?! This is Twitch with better emotes!” The chat is just flying, flying, flying. Normally we’re not even doing what is expected on that site! I’m just talking about like … crayons … and how you shouldn’t put them in your butt. It’s so atypical! Yeah, I talk about eating glue.

I never expected to go to a softer sort of site and that was just through my audience pushing me. And I’m glad they did, as well. Within the first two weeks of me streaming there, the Gunrun reached out to me — who is one of the founders of Twitch. He’s awesome. I didn’t know who he was, but I recognized the name. I asked one of my friends and they were like, “[chaotic noises] Starcraft man!” and I’m like, “That means nothing to me.” I had people giving me advice and stuff and eventually they said, “Nonono, that’s the Gunrun.” I started working with him, and from the very beginning he said, “I like what you do. How can I help?” It’s so amazing working with him. He’s made so much happen. If I hadn’t looked in my incoming DMs — which people told me to close immediately — Vshojo would not exist.

Wow! Oh my gosh, that's amazing.

Melody: I guess I was at the ground floor, because I helped in its infantile stage. I guess you could say I helped with recruiting, which wasn’t even supposed to be a job title … it was more like creating something, and I’m helping with what I can do. I had friends I’ve met, people who I think are very comfortable in what they do, and these individuals, I think, could benefit from being a part of our group. What we wanted to do was foster growth in up-and-coming people. I lucked out — because of controversy, I got eyes on me very quickly early on and I’ve used that to spread out my reign and help other people who are struggling. Because that’s what I would have wanted.

But yeah, I’m honored that the girls I’ve met, the girls who I’ve reached out to said, “Hey, I agree. I’m interested in following you on this indie journey. This growth management group for streamers who are specifically virtual idols. I will take this risk and I will join with you and see what happens.” I’m glad they’ve trusted me in this because it’s unimaginable how many opportunities we’ve had. It’s unimaginable the growth we’ve had over the past year. Our one-year anniversary is in … two weeks maybe? [at time of interview—ed.] It’s nonsensical … I’m talking to Crunchyroll! We did a music collab with Kizuna Ai!! There’s a lot of stuff coming up that I can’t talk about, but … it’s amazing and unexpected and … this is so much more than what you asked me … You asked me how I got into anime and gaming … Um ...

No, nonono, this is such a great answer! I was really gushing over VShojo earlier and this is why! This is exactly why it’s so special at the very heart of it. I hope this doesn’t come across as weird or patronizing but I’m really proud of you. That’s all so cool.

Melody: [Tearily] Thank you.

I think that sort of controversy would have crushed a lot of people and would have convinced them to get out of entertainment. And there’s nothing wrong with that because it sounds like it was really difficult and painful to go through. But you were able to take that pain and transform it into something beautiful, not just for you, but for so many people. It’s amazing!

Melody: Th-thank you. I appreciate that. There definitely has been pain. Besides all the doors in my face and the limitations of me only speaking English and the people who want to harm us because they don’t like us … it’s been difficult. But we get through it because our aspirations are too high, despite the anxiety.

Yeah … Oh man, I’m holding back tears a little because I just really — I really love that.

Melody: No, no! You’re absolutely, positively fine. And awesome.

I was actually wondering if you could tell me a bit more about what it is about VTubing as a medium that connects with people in such a special way.

Melody: VTubing as a whole … I think one part of why people like it has to do with seeing a cute anime girl and thinking, “A cute girl! Big titty me like!” I’ll go out and say it: us weebs, a lot of us are attracted to anime characters. We’re adults and fuck society … Okay wait, I need to backpedal and give the whole picture.

Anime only really started happening in the West in the ‘90s. In the beginning, you’d get bootleg anime shipped over here from Japan on those big plastic pre-DVDs. You would have four of them and one would be like … Episode 5 of Gundam Wing and THAT’S IT. And if you were lucky enough to have it in English it was just like … wah! Wow! So it started there, from pretty much nothing. Also apparently you could watch this one channel on TV my friend Brian told me about that would play only anime starting at 5 AM on Saturdays. From there, then there was more and more exposure leading up to Toonami, then leading to now. So now weebs in the West could consume it more and more.

Anime as a medium is so incredibly different than cartoons in the West. In Japan, when you’re at the airport getting checked in, you can see these little signs that say, “Hello, my name is [blurred]. My favorite anime is [blurred].” Anime isn’t like Western cartoons because it isn’t just marketed for children to sell toys and annoy adults. Anime is more closely tied to mainstream culture. There are aspects of it geared towards children, but then there are series directed towards younger adults and older adults and it contains every genre you can think of. That’s such a foreign concept in the West to parents, still.

So you have kids who get into anime and they get curious about Japanese culture because it’s different than the culture they grew up with in the West. They get crushes on characters and then, eventually those kids grow up and sometimes reach a point where they’re like, “Fuck it. I like it. I like hentai.” It’s the next step, it’s something you’ve always wanted! That’s why dating sims are so popular — it’s giving you a level of intimacy that is hard to come by for fans who tend to be introverted. Dating sims are popular because — 1: they’re fun; 2: the characters are cute; 3: you get one-on-one conversations, even if they’re pre-scripted. VTubing is if dating sims were so much better. The fact that there are virtual idols, these virtual characters that can have a one-on-one meaningful connection with you is amazing. Not only are they cute, not only do they interact with you, not only do they share the same hobbies as you, but you can get this whenever you want, and you can personally support them. There’s options like supporting VTubers on Patreon and getting to meet them. It’s like a dream, getting to meet your favorite anime character.

It’s definitely natural evolution, but I don’t think anyone could have predicted it, besides one or two genius sci-fi … oh! Like the author of Snow Crash! Um … uh … Neal Stephenson! I think he was the first person to extensively predict and describe VRChat.

The cover for Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash (Image via Random House)

Whoa ... Melody: Yeah! And also the presence of memes and body politics and becoming a new person. There’s also a huge connection between VRChat and the LGBT+ community, not just with people who are not just heteronormative heterosexual couplings, but also people whose minds are inconsistent with how they look. VRChat is a godsend for a person struggling with that because it lets you slip into something different. It provides a level of comfort. It’s not perfect, but now we have haptic suits, now we have more and more ways to become integrated and connect with people. It’s so different than five, ten years ago. It’s all about escaping that dissatisfaction and getting to these moments, these opportunities to go past yourself and feel your own sense of normalcy that you can cultivate on your own, then meeting other people around the world through that can be like, “Oh yeah man, same here.” They can relate and they can work with you, and it can be very therapeutic. But … also there can be people who are just like … “Ugandan Knuckles!” and they go into a room and give you seizures. There’s a lot of bullshit in there, but there’s also a lot of good things in there, too.

Yeah, I think one thing people don’t realize about VTubing and the audience relationship there is that it’s a lot more reciprocal than, as Nyanners put it, “people simping for anime PNGs.” It’s a deeper and way more give-and-take type of relationship than that.

Melody: It’s interactive.

Yeah. Yeah! It's interactive, exactly.

Okay, so I only have two more questions. We are almost ... we're almost done. The penultimate question is: Do you have any advice for people out there thinking of trying out VTubing?

Melody: Yes I do. My advice for people who want to not only be an entertainer, and not only an entertainer online, but be a virtual idol ...

First thing’s first. There are some people who go into streaming, especially if they are a certain level of what they consider attractive, because they think it will be easy. They think, “Oh, I’ll swoop in there. I’ll do things I don’t care about and make some money and yeet out.” That’s a horrible way to approach it, and if your heart isn’t there, people can tell. I think it’s kind of a waste of your existence to do something your heart isn’t in for the hope of a cash grab. I think that’s very fucky. I see VTubers as living art, we’re artists. You should do it because you genuinely love the idea, you genuinely want to see yourself thrive in this community, in this career. If it’s something you think is more than cool, if it’s something you want to see yourself doing in two years from now and nothing could make you happier than pursuing it, then I think it’s a great idea. If you’re interested for the right reasons, I would encourage you to pursue VTubing.

The second thing I’ll bring up is non-competition. Of course, we compare ourselves to other people and we draw ideas from other people — like, my original outfit and design was based off of Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell. My designer was really into Hyperdimension Neptunia, which is why I also look more like that. I've never seen it, so I didn't know, I didn't understand. But she was my original influence. So it's fine and awesome to create who you want to be through influences, but competing is bad. Full stop. It's not only bad, it's just annoying, but also it's bad for your soul.

VTubers often compare themselves to others. “Oh that person has 10,000 people in their room, I only have 20. I hate myself,” or, “Oh, that person is doing this right now. I should be doing that even though I don’t know how.” When we compare ourselves to others, there’s always going to be someone better. You could be the chess champion of the entire world and then later that month, the next greatest player will emerge. You gotta get that idea out of your head, the idea of, “I will never be good enough and I can never be the best of the best.” That means nothing at all.

It's your community that matters. It's your community and yourself that you need to be focusing on, not everyone else’s that you can't even affect or have a connection with. At that point, you're living your life for someone else, not for yourself, and I don't consider that living at all. That's just a burden. So definitely, if your heart is into it, jump into it. If you have passion. Not if you want a cash grab, not if you think all you can do is compare rather than working on yourself. So that's important.

Third thing: fuck em’, fuck ‘em, fuck ‘em. You're going to have haters because the internet hates cute anime girls. And if you're not a cute anime girl and you’re a different type of VTuber, they're just gonna hate you for being an anime character. Or they'll hate you for being on the internet, or they'll hate you for being popular, or they’ll hate you for having green eyes … green eyes, and liking banana smoothies. There's gonna be haters, and I'll admit in the beginning they absolutely broke me down. They did. They've said that just put the knife in and twist it. Some people really get off on the concept of hurting others. That’s a bully. They love it and they definitely got to me. But there was a lot of growth in that. I wasn’t perfect. I’m still not perfect. But I had to learn to accept what was happening and not let it affect me. Very mindful, like, “Yeah this is happening. I don’t like it. Is there anything I can do about it? Not really. Okay, so let’s try to exist without that being the thing controlling what I do every day.”

Fourth thing: never settle. That's just a concept I have for life. It’s something that I have on my phone, that I think about all the time. Settling is something the whole world puts on everyone, especially young people. In the West, today is built on debt culture. You always hear, “Get a side hustle!” or, “Put your loan inside a loan, then you’ll get this different loan … but this loan is sexy.” There is a lot of accommodating, a lot of struggling, a lot of settling because we’ve all been systematically put in this position. The world is trying to whittle you down and put you into a box that’s safe because you’re used to it and it’s easy. It’s extinguishing the flame that is your spirit, your passion, your goals, and it’s making you put up with it.

I think being a VTuber kicks that mindset to the curb. Not only is it the opposite of settling, VTubing is a true embrace of who you are. It’s taking yourself and cultivating a stronger identity and blasting through a door screaming, “This is who I am! Fuck off!” You walk in, you punch in the door and you’ve got big ol’ titties or something and you’re like, “Yes! Yes! Accept who I am! Oh? You don’t accept who I am? Well I don’t care and I’ll find someone and someplace that does!” If you don’t like who I am, you’re not my target audience. People who come in my chat will say, “Ugh, boring,” and I’ll say, “Cool. Why are you here? Go somewhere else where you’ll have fun. I feel bad for you. I dunno, get a fucking hobby, man”

But yeah. Being a VTuber is the opposite of settling, which the world is trying to make young adults do so that they'll be complacent and just walk through life like a wandering ghost or something. This is embracing all of your little eccentricities ... You're embracing it, you're showing it to the world, and you're confident in yourself and you're getting your bag, man. Yeah, it's pure confidence and not letting the world put you down and creating your own happiness.

Wow, I was expecting this interview to be good, but I wasn’t expecting to leave it with a renewed sense of life purpose.

Melody: Wh-wh-what?

For real! One of the interesting things that keeps coming up in this interview is being present in your life, and you’re so right about it. There are so many forces in this life that make money off of you not chasing your dream and sticking with this very specific pre-determined plan for your life. It’s so easy to just settle for comfort instead of following a passion or something like that. I think those things make it really easy to not be present in your life and think, “Oh well if I save up enough to do this … if I take out a loan to do this … if I do this … if I do this … then my future will be this,” instead of just, “Am I happy right now?”

Melody: Exactly! And that’s easier said than done, absolutely. But it is something to keep in the back of your head. A lot of our happiness — especially young adults in Western cultures — is fucking hard because we have debt from student loans, some people have families, some people have situations like having a disability where it’s hard to have solid ground to stand on. So many people, especially in my community, feel like the ground they’re standing on has a giant crack down the middle and you’re just waiting. So many people have this rocky starting place, or even beneath that where you’re thinking, “Man, I wish I had a cracked rock! That sounds so nice, fuck!” That’s just how it is right now. We’re all packaged data … Oh wow, I sound like a conspiracy theorist.

We’re all packaged data and these companies are very happy with that. They want us to spend what little money we have on things because “items make happy.” I have a friend who saves up all of his sick days. He goes into work sick as hell because he says, “In five years I’m going to go to fucking Universal Studios with my family because that’s what I want to do. That’s all I want.” I hate that that’s how it is right now. I hate it so much.

Changing that is easier said than done. I feel like I say this all the time, but Netflix is a huge contributor to the end of society. Netflix is this little burst of serotonin. You get sucked in, you go on your Netflix binges because it’s easy. It’s like soma in … was it the Iliad? Like with the lotus-eaters. It’s like pharmakon — it’s both the cure and the poison. If we didn’t have such a thing that provides such a dopamine high, I feel like we’d get off our asses and start talking a little louder, like, “Hey, I don’t like how things are right now. I’m unhappy.” But it’s made things easier … all of the modern conveniences that were originally meant to help us have distorted in a way that makes us complacent with a bad situation.

Jeez yeah, it’s like the opiate of the masses.

Melody: Yes it is! And then COVID made Uber Eats a huge thing and Amazon is Skynet … all of that. This is the shit I think about … sorry for going on. I’m not a conspiracy theorist! I just hate human suffering.

I totally get it! It’s like … I dunno it’s hard to get up and do something, and then you think about how long you haven’t done anything and it’s like … “Oh man, it would’ve been cool if I took that chance or tried to make that change when I had that opportunity, oh well.” But making a change today is better than making a change tomorrow, which is better than doing it the next day. It’s never too late to try and do something! But it’s easier to just say, “Nah I’m gonna sit down and watch Netflix tonight, I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Melody: It’s easy.

It is … Okay, my last question is: Is there anything else you would like to say to everyone before we say goodbye?

Melody: Oh bother … Okay, so I’ve noticed there’s a theme not only with VTubers, but with my group specifically. They want world domination, which I think is adorable. I do not. I have no interest in world domination because I’m so disorganized. But also … I’m looking for a few things. I’m working to cultivate my own happiness. Because happiness is not something you get through a vacation or an item. Happiness is something that you practice. I also want to humanize the adult industry and humanize the merging of anime and hentai and all of these different cultures … and just make the conversation less scary.

Sure, a lot of us were bullied when we were young, and that was bad, but now we’re adults and we need to accept ourselves. We need to accept others and understand that we’re all in it together. It’s not a big deal! It’s super hot sometimes … I want to create new things that have never existed before. We’ve already done that so far, and I’m excited to see what we will do next.

Other articles in this series:

You can watch Projekt Melody's Twitch streams here!

Cayla Coats is the Editor-in-Chief of Crunchyroll News EN. She tweets @ceicocat.

By: Cayla Coats

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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thearchivistsmanyeyes · 4 years ago

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do you have any podcast recs? im listening to tma but i want to get into more !!

Ohhhh I can definitely help you out there!! I’m not sure what you’d be into but I can hook you up with some that I really like!

(.....under the cut because it ended up being Really Long)

If you’re into horror, like tma:

Alice Isn’t Dead- By Night Vale Presents so you know it’s good. Anxious lesbian trucker takes off around the country looking for her missing wife, accidentally gets wrapped up in spooky supernatural stuff. Also has some pretty interesting commentary on America and society as a whole. Actually has a happy ending, so that’s a plus!

Old Gods of Appalachia- Horror anthology podcast that focuses on the eldritch happenings that go on in old Southern mining towns, in the 19th & 20th century. Very aesthetically pleasing. Each season so far has an arc about a specific town, and a second arc about this immortal asexual witch and her enormous pet bear. It’s good shit.

King Falls AM- I’m not very far into this one, but you’ve probably heard of it. Your local small town is known for being haunted, radio station reports all the spooky happenings. It’s funny, and pretty lighthearted (at least so far.) A good podcast to wind down to.

If you’re into sci-fi: (most of the podcasts I listened to are spacey and they’re all SO GOOD)

The Penumbra Podcast- Yeah after tma this is probably the most well known podcast out there. I won’t say much except that it’s SO SO GOOD and you should definitely check it out. You can either listen to a private investigator on Mars solve dangerous cases, fall in love, and work through his extensive childhoood trauma OR listen to a bunch of dumbass knights in a medieval citadel fight monsters and learn that maybe they shouldn’t be fighting monsters. Everyone is queer. It’s a fantastic ride either way.

Wolf 359- oh my god oh my god this goddamn podcast. I can’t even. I can’t. Ahhhhh anyway so a four-person crew on a space station orbiting a red dwarf star are searching for signs of alien life, and they possibly end up stumbling on an alien race, while also discovering that the company that sent them up there *might* not have humanity’s best interest at heart. Has found family galore, valuable lessons about personhood, and just overall so much good stuff. Starts out as a comedy but gets intense pretty fast. WILL rip your heart out.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris- Honestly in terms of number of relistens... this might be my favorite podcast ever. It’s definitely up there. Only has one season right now and only ten episodes but more is coming and I can’t wait. Your local gay space smugglers accidentally get caught up in a massive government conspiracy and try to stay alive while unraveling the mysteries behind a past intergalactic war, trying to bring down said oppressive government, and being as useless and gay as possible. It’s just. A lot of fun. TRUST me.

EOS 10- It’s uhh basically a sitcom about a team of doctors on a space station? At least it starts out that way. There’s a pretty big shift in tone after season two, it’s goofy, & the plot’s kinda all over the place but who CARES because it’s friggin hilarious. Half the time I have no clue what’s going on but it’s still really enjoyable.

Girl in Space- The name says it all, really! A scientist clone is living on her spaceship all alone doing her research and is perfectly content...until a huge fleet of ships turns up on her doorstep claiming she’s now their company’s property. Her life now consists of imprisonment, mutinies, and giving lectures about human rights to the company’s employees. It’s got science, it’s got Jurassic Park references, it’s got sentient stars! What more could you ask for.

If you’re into more modern fantasy:

The Bright Sessions- A group of people called ‘atypicals’ have special abilities that are, essentially, superpowers. And what do they do? They go to therapy!! It’s all well and good until they find out that their mysterious therapist may or may not plan to use them & their powers to rescue her brother who’s being held captive in an evil agency. Whoops. Anyway it’s got lots of lovable characters, adorable romances, and emotional moments that make you want to sob. It’s great.

The Far Meridian- A girl with severe agoraphobia lives in a lighthouse with her brother, until one day he disappears. Shortly after, her lighthouse starts moving somewhere different every day, and she travels the world searching for her brother. This is just a really nice podcast. It’s about memories and friendship and finding magic in little things and it’s just...beautiful tbh. And sad. Beautiful and sad.

Aaaaaaand that’s about it for all my recs! I had no idea I had that many lol, hope that helped you out a little!

#podcast recs #tpp #wolf 359 #tscosi #eos 10 #alice isnt dead #kfam #ogoa #girl in space #tbs #the far meridian

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spooky-activity · 4 years ago

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Just a little update on Cassandratopia 2: Electric Boogaloo (Or as it stands in my Google Docs folder rn, A Helping Hand). I’ll put it under the cut cuz it’s kinda long.

I just wanted to say that I’m still planning on actually doing it, despite all evidence to the contrary lol

I did Cassandratopia in a haze of graduating from college(where I was studying animation) and just having ended my first dnd campaign as a dungeon master (which went 3 years!). I was fishing around for internships, but since the pandemic had just kicked off I wasn’t having much luck. So I had a lot of creative energy that wasn’t getting channeled anywhere, and a lot of free time when I wasn’t applying to places. Which is how I did 4 pages a day several times per week. Which was insane.

As it stands, I’m running 2 dnd campaigns(one meets weekly, the other every other week or so), and just scored a full-time internship at a video game company! The campaigns I’m running are a homebrew open world, which, for those of you who aren’t too familiar with dnd, is a metric fuckton of work to prep for each session because I have no idea what my insane friends and siblings are going to try and do every time we play.

Anyways all this to say that my storytelling itch is kinda. Sufficiently getting scratched atm and I have a lot less free time. I’m still plucking away at the setting/refining the story of A Helping Hand, but it’s largely on the backburner. Cassandratopia was also, uh, like the first story I’ve ever told in any sort of format besides the give-and-take of dnd, so... I’m not used to having so much control over the narrative. Oddly. I’ve never thought of myself as much of a writer of stories; my main focus is character animation, so someone else is usually writing the stories I’m telling anyways, which is super cool with me. Honestly I’m surprising myself with how much I want to tell this story, which is why I’m still sure I’m doing it. Just. Slower. Than Cassandratopia got done.

But I’ll share a bit of the lore I’ve been cooking up! Specifically about Zhan Tiri and The Drops. The story will be told in an extremely dnd type setting, because that’s the kind of narrative I’ve told before and am comfortable telling: hard magic rules, neat fights, scary monsters, a dash of eldritch horror, and huge emphasis being put on magical artifacts(kinda like in the show!). Here’s some stuff that’s basically locked-in.

Zhan Tiri

Zhan Tiri is one of the many Demon Lords of the Abyss. She’s kind of a mashup of two of my favorite Demon Lords, Zuggtmoy, the Lady of Rot and Decay, and Pale Night, the Mother of Demons and Queen of the Night(with just a dash of Hannibal Lecter because who doesn’t like helpful, polite, manipulative-ass bitches lksjflkja;fj). Her domain sits almost exactly between the Sundrop and Moonstone, largely being the new growth that comes from death, and the endless cycle of life and death. Places where her influence is strongest includes the cracks in... Well anywhere really, from society to the planet’s shell, where metaphorical or physical rot could grow; musty, mostly ignored places where something could fester. Iconography related to her would include endless mazes, fungi, grasping skeletal hands, and rotting/blooming corpses. Her spores can animate corpses, which she likes to use as mindless minions when she doesn’t feel like sending one of her Acolytes. She shares a scrap of her power with those few mortals she likes. She appreciates ambition and the desire to Grow to be bigger than what you were to start with, as those are qualities she herself possesses.

Incredibly intelligent and merciless to those she deems her enemies, her main thing is pulling the strings from the shadows and seeing just how far she can push people to act with as little prompting from her as possible. She does, however, have the power to kinda bulldoze her way through things if she needs to, but she doesn’t like to because where’s the fun in that?

She first gained interest in the Material Plane when a Wizard with too much hubris from said Material Plane(Named Demanitus) contacted her trying to figure out more information about The Drops and how to control them. After indulging him for a bit, she started preparing to make a summer home on the Material Plane because it’s New and Fun here and Wow These Mortals are Really Fun to Mess With! And some of them she even genuinely liked! Demanitus then realized his mistake and locked her away in Pandemonium for what he hoped was forever, but turned out to be only around 1,000 years, due to the efforts of her followers. Her little stint in Pandemonium magnified the more... Chaotic aspects of her personality, so now she wants to cover the Material Plane in blooming mazes of fungal crops that she can break people with at her leisure.

The Drops

The drops are two semi-sentient pieces of one original artifact, whose original purpose was to be a tool of creation for the gods. Which, through some great calamity(still deciding that one), got sundered and settled into the two basic aspects of creation: the nearly unlimited well of life-energy which organizes stardust into planets, cabbages, and kings, and the “you gotta crack a few eggs to get an omlette” destructive force which breaks down what the sundrop makes so that it can make more.

The main goal of the drops is to reunite. I would want to as well if I was ripped in half! This manifests as a... General tug in the direction of the other drop. A desire in the host to Go That Way. It can be resisted, and even ignored for a bit, but it’s always there. Like being hungry if starving wasn’t a danger. Just a bit uncomfortable if you aren’t going That Way, but ignorable.

Both drops generally try to be as helpful to their wielder as possible, as originally they were a tool of creation to the gods. They are innately obliging. They’re also REALLY UNSAFE FOR MORTALS TO BE MESSING WITH. The Sundrop is a little safer because the most it can do is kinda. Overcharge you into something distinctly not human but still alive, and King Fredrick was lucky he made the Sundrop into soup before giving it to Arianna. But King Edmund got his wholeass arm blasted off for touching the Moonstone.

The Sundrop

Best I could whittle it down, the Sundrop has power over life energy, like the sun’s light. It also has power over the energy derived from geothermal activities, so deep sea creatures Are Not Immune To The Sundrop, which was a funny thought that crossed my mind that they could be, but that will likely never come up anyways salkdjf;ljsf It is, in its basest form, Growth and Progress.

It’s a little sentient, but very much entrenches itself into whoever is holding it at the time. Like another mind looking through your eyes and seeing what you see/feeling what you feel while still retaining a bit of individuality from the host. It’s not... Parasitic because it’s in its nature to give, but it’s generally pretty firmly attached to whoever is holding it until they die( which isn’t usually for a WHILE. It ’infects’ a new host when one dies, usually a plant near their grave...) or until a solar eclipse. It wants what they want, but it’s very fussy so they have to ask it for power exactly correctly(like singing an incantation every time you want to heal someone, or doing a Ritual involving lots of very specific ingredients, Celestial Alignments, and Secret Words) or it won’t listen, like an orchid dying if the ph balance is off in the soil by a little bit. But it’s generally pretty intuitive to use, because it wants what you want and (as long as you ask right) is willing to help.

Anyways basically under the influence of the Sundrop you get a few things:

Basically limitless energy coursing through your body while you’re in a place with sunlight, which equates to rapid healing, mostly, because every cell in your body is being supercharged with free energy. Never getting exhausted in direct sunlight. (If Rapunzel lived in a place that was sunny 24/7 like near one of the poles she wouldn’t have to sleep like. until it started to get dark in the opposite half of the year. Then she’d have to sleep like a regular human being)

You stay at your prime, or if you are past it, revert to your prime. Someone who is holding the Sundrop, or who has regular access to the Sundrop’s magic can’t die of old age or illness. They have to be hurt beyond the Sundrop’s ability to heal or have it taken away from them.

The ability to share this rapid healing with others (if you ask right)

The ability to freely draw on the raw, near-limitless energy of the sun to shape into things like cool-looking energy blasts (only if you ask right)

The Moonstone

The moonstone has powers over varying levels of destruction: from destroying things by ripping them apart/ to Not Letting Things Be Destroyed(also known as protecting) by freezing them in indestructible rock. Like the moon, it can ‘reflect’ a bit of the sundrop’s power, so it can kinda provide energy, albeit a lot less than the sundrop can provide. It’s the inevitable march of The End of All Things, fertilizing the fields of time with the ashes of the old so the new can take root.

The Moonstone is a bit more in the dark(pun intended hehe) when it comes to bonding with someone, it can only try to figure out what is going on based off the emotions of its wielder, and through anything directly touching the Black Rocks. Because of this it’s... Kinda dumb? It tries to do things to help(Like shooting red fear-rocks to try and scare away whatever must be scaring its wielder so badly) but often fails spectacularly at helping.

Under the influence of the Moonstone you get:

Mortals get Neat Body Armor that’s actually just you being turned into a rock! They are very fragile! They need to be protected! The best the Moonstone can do to try and preserve you is to Stop All Destruction by.. Pausing all bodily functions indefinitely. Rocks don’t need to eat, sleep, or breathe, and almost nothing can destroy you if you’re solid Black Rock. The weak reflection of the Sundrop’s energy keeps the host animated, but they’re not exactly alive anymore. Like cryostasis. Wounds (if any) acquired in this state won’t be a problem because they’re not messing anything up, because nothing is technically working in the first place, but they will be a problem when you’re not protected in this way anymore. It’s a cosmic ‘I’ll deal with that later’ button, essentially.

Like the moon, the Moonstone can reflect the light of the sun. It uses its rock crystals to do so, which can even split the sun’s power into different shades, like a prism. Essentially, different colored rocks can mean new and exciting power sets.

Blue Lightning! The Moonstone can reflect the Sundrop’s power, so it also has access to pure bursts of energy, even if it is weaker and colder.

The Moonstone is very helpful, but usually has no idea what you want. ‘Asking’ the Moonstone for more control over its power in the same way you would Ask the Sundrop for more power reminds it of the perfect bond it used to share. The Moonstone’s incantation deepens the bond between wielder and Moonstone in such a way that it actually knows what you want from it, giving you near perfect control of its powers.

*This is kind of just a side note of the Drops: While the Moonstone is weaker than the Sundrop in an head-on fight, it could hold its own if it were on the defensive. Redirecting the power instead of trying to overpower and such.

** Cass made of rocks means I get to draw her skeleton :) not in every picture that would be fucking nuts and way too much work alskjdf;lkjs;fv

#helping hand #a helping hand #casstopia #cassandratopia 2 #mine #so yeah next comic is happening still #but I can't promise when #maybe in like 6 months when one of my dnd games wraps up #my siblings are the ones who play weekly #and I said i'd run a shorter campaign for them #like half a year campaign #then I'll only be running one game!#and I'll have time to draw comic stuff and finish finalizing my draft #I'd also like to apologize in advance for my clunky storytelling #I've literally never done this before lakjs;dlkcvj;lksjf

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misstrashchan · 4 years ago

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RWBY V8 CH 1 Thoughts:

So I’m a little later than I’d hoped in getting the chance to properly sit and watch the first episode of v8 because of working several 12 hour night shifts in a row, but now that I have, I’m just gonna go through all the initial thoughts I had as I watched (this might be split into several parts because I always have a lot of big feelings when starting a new volume and that kind of all spills out because of the anxiety and excitement):

-Two seconds in and I’m having a fucking heart attack because of whose leitmotif is playing and knowing exactly who is in that spotlight on the floor. RT you can’t just DO this in the first 10 seconds it’s been 8 years and I’m still not ready

- Scrubbing the floor repetitively ingrained so much into her memory that it manifests as an anxious tic in scratching I see you

- I’m really relieved that it was just a little peak into her past, because I don’t think I could have handled the whole thing in the first episode, I’m still overwhelmed every time a new volume starts, so those little breadcrumbs were all I could handle. I want to see Cinder’s past desperately, don’t get me wrong, but not like that. I don’t want them to rush into it and I’m so glad they’re not. Just a delicious taste, a little tease for what we all know is coming is more than enough.

-I actually think it’d be pretty cool if we didn’t have a single episode dedicated to her backstory like Salem and Ozma, but instead kept having frequent flashbacks throughout the volume to recontextualize to the audience the actions Cinder is taking in the present and her current relationships, having her past slowly revealed for us to put together piece by piece like a beautiful jigsaw. Idk just a thought

-For some reason I find it really funny that Salem crafted this giant grimm whale to have ports for airships and basically went all out on the grimm architecture to make a portable mini horror Kingdom. That’s pretty dope.

- SALEM THINKS AND REFERS TO CINDER AS HER VESSEL I FUCKING KNEW IT, @astoria00 you absolutely called that shit

- Oh man I’m really feeling for Neo here. Her whole face during the exchange with Salem is saying “Woah, hold on, I just want to sheesh kebab Ruby and then bounce, not be given a job recommendation and interview for an eldritch murder cult” Am I the only one surprised that Cinder is introducing her to Salem at all? The whole plan of her finding a loophole in her orders to not kill Ruby is the reason she made alliance with Neo in the first place, because Neo didn’t work for Salem, so she could do as she pleased. But with Salem now knowing that Neo works under Cinder, that kind of shoots that plan in the foot. That might be kind of the point though. The scene between Cinder and Salem establishes how Cinder got a taste of freedom and agency and thinking for herself, and now she’s back on a leash with Salem, I think she’s going to try and distance herself or act outside of Salem’s orders in sending Neo to kill Ruby, and Salem is going to yank HARD on that leash. And to cope with that she’d likely lash out at Emerald or Neo, prompting them to try and finally leave or distance themselves from Cinder (the cycle of abuse has to be broken for all of them, and I think it has to start with Emerald and co leaving Cinder so that Cinder can then break away)

- Cinder also knows Neo is only helping her so she can kill Ruby, that this isn’t a long term commitment for her, and after that she doesn’t have any further reason to work with her, and Cinder already has Emerald and Mercury, and unlike them Cinder can’t manipulate Neo as easily, considering she hasn’t been as neglected and starved for affection as Emerald, nor was she abused and so lacking in self worth that they believe their only purpose is to be used as a weapon by others like Mercury. I think it really comes back to how Cinder really does define herself by her relationships with others and hates being alone. You can tell that’s something Salem’s picked up on, she said that Cinder needed to toil in her isolation and then she comes back to find out she’s brought home another stray. Her disgruntled “You certainly do enjoy collecting assets” towards Cinder is just giving me such big Father/Greed vibes

-Oh look! Hazel, Emerald and Mercury are ba-

whatingodsnamearetheywearing

- I do not. Like their new outfits. Okay, maybe I’m being too quick to judge, I remember really not liking Neo and Oscar’s new outfits when I saw them, and they definitely grew on me with time, same with Jaune’s haircut. I think it’s just gonna take some time getting used to. I do like that Mercury has a little more colour in his outfit, with the orange and blue, rather than just grey and black. Seems like a good sign for him in the near future. And at least Hazel’s new coat already has the sleeves ripped off in advance. I’m also headcanoning rn that Emerald styled Hazel’s hair for him. Don’t ask me why, I just think it’d be cute (also is it just me or does Hazel’s new look give off extreme bi energy? Just me? All I’m saying is that this show’s got room for more than one disaster bi whose also a surrogate father to a growing number of children)

- Just realised that with Watts getting a new coat last volume means that everyone on team salem has had a new outfit except Tyrian sjjljfjsakkk

- “And according to radio chatter, that same General and his forces outsmarted you. A shame Watts never made it back.” ooooohhh burn

- “I’m afraid the Doctor was a necessary sacrifice” so no nuts and volts? *flips table*

- *points at Salem shutting down Cinder and Cinder shutting down Emerald* it’s the cyyyyyyyyccccllee of abuuuuuuuuse, and it huuuuuuurrrttts the sooooouulll

#gonna break this up so it doesn't turn ridiculously long #most of this was all just me being overwhelmed with Big Cinder Feelings #rwby8 #rwby spoilers #rwby

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realmonsterboyhours · 4 years ago

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how would the dons react if their s/o was taken hostage? whether it’s because they have personal business with the dons or s/o? and also s/o was a little roughed up as well. fee free to delete if this makes you uncomfortable.

The dons' s/o taken hostage / hurt to comfort

It does not make me uncomfortable <3 As a general note to anyone wondering, the only topic I'm not really willing to write about is anything specifically politically charged. It never hurts to ask! I've lived a long and terrible life, so I have plenty of experience. If you wanna ask for something that tends to be a bit "uncomfy" for other writers then that's fine! Feel free to ask, worst case is I just delete it.

Fun fact! I actually had a dream about the dons where I was in this exact situation! So some of the responses may be inspired from that

Tw: Kidnapping, taken hostage, death, talk of gore, talk of torture, generally a darker piece that I'll put below the cut!

Zhuk

When you went missing he went utterly nuts.

There's no way you would have just silently left all that you had here, there's no way his adored partner would have just taken off, and definitely not without a word.

In an instant he's rallying the other dons for a game plan to find you.

When they get the info they need on where you are you're gonna have to bet on this war-beast of a man. Because he's there to fuck shit up, and take names.

He's walking in calmly to the room your kept, with a smile, nodding to the others or his clones to "Escort my love back home".

When you're taken back home, and are safely away Zhuk is absolutely going to go nuts on whoever it was that took you.

Their cries will fall sickeningly silent quite literally under his feet, because he doesn't even deem them worth spending ammunition on, not when brute strength and a well placed boot do just as well.

When he comes home he's making you a strong drink, having you patched up, and he's spending the rest of the evening with you wrapped up in his arms.

He's doesn't remember the last time he cried, but he tonight. The thought of you hurting because of their business is almost enough for him to let you go, but he knows that ultimately you would be worse off without their protection and the idea of other problems you'd face would leave him feeling helpless. He'd spend the night swapping between comforting you with your favorite things, and silently crying while holding you tenderly so it doesn't hurt.

Gio

He is likely the most outright calm of the bunch when he finds you've gone missing.

He somehow always has a sense of where you are, he figures it's just because he loves you so much. Maybe it's a benefit of being some kind of eldritch horror monster.

Whichever it is, he doesn't feel the need to alert the others. That would only cause a massive panic. Not when he has it handled.

The perks of being a eldritch demon shapeshifter of sorts seem endless when sneaking into a warehouse full of opposing bad guys would be that its much easier to actually sneak in unannounced.

Whether it's turning himself to one of the captors, or straight up turning into shadows or smoke of some kind he's getting in that locked room and he's instantly teleporting you home with him with a snap of his fingers.

Though it's much less eventful than the other dons, that's because Gio likes to keep you out of his mafia business as much as possible. What you don't know is the terrifying swell of rage inside him where he's already sent in his clones to torture them for information.

He's going to patch you up himself. Whether it's him or the other dons, Gio is the one among them who is actually medically trained as much as Scarabee likes to tell you he's also trained medically sometimes balms and salves aren't a good enough replacement for a well thrown stitch or two.

He would ask you if you wanted to see the others, or if it was too much right now and just wanted him, or if you wanted to be alone. He would obviously respect your wishes, but if you were silent he would opt to take you to see the others and sit around with them all quietly in the smoking lounge.

You do notice, however, that he's not letting you go, even when he snaps at Scarabee for wanting to put some of his home-made remedies on your beautiful stitches!

He's spending the next few nights awake, keeping an eye out for you. You would have a clone personally assigned to you. Likely Cici who is arguably his most terrifying clone, but would be soft and gentle with you when ordered from the boss.

Scarabee

At first, he doesn't quite know you're missing. He has shadows all over the estate but he doesn't know until a clone reports you missing to him.

His dead heart drops to his stomach.

He's asking his patron God where you are, the answer is clear and exact. He knows in n instant exactly what us happening and he's taking off without a word.

If you thought Zhuk was bad. Oh boy.

His clones are all called out, they swarm the entire building and let me tell you, the noises you would hear are not for the faint of heart.

A group would retreat to your room where they may attempt to hold you hostage at gunpoint unless they all stop.

You're freaking out but Bee just gives you the sweetest smile and walks closer and closer. He can smell the fear and bluff in these guys' veins.

He's going to take you into his arms and he's gonna cover your ears and just do his best to get you out of the room

But you will never unfortunately forget the sight of a Naga Deity splitting his mouth open to literally eat the poor saps who threatened and hurt you.

Once you're home he's bringing you begrudgingly to Gio for medical care. As much as he knows his stuff would work, he knows everyone else would also be more comfortable with Gio's help.

He's still gonna put his own balms and salves on it once he's done though.

He's not letting you off his lap, he himself is going to smoke down a few more cigarettes than normal tonight, and any fleeting hope of sleeping that night or that week even for him is completely dashed away.

He's going to spend the night with you in his arms, in his bed, stroking your hair as gently as possible and promising to do better.

He would end up likely giving you a little snake bracelet or piece of jewelry of your choice that would tip him off to when things are wrong or where you are if need be. It would be the only comfort he would have for a while.

Cia

He's tipped off to your absence by a clone, or by you not showing up to his pub like you two had been planning for tonight.

He's leaving a clone to watch the pub, and he's frantically headed home to let the others know. He's going to take at very least Zhuk with him. He's not as personally fond of getting his hands bloodied up again as funny as that is coming from the don who literally runs a bare knuckle boxing ring.

His goal is to get in there, and get you the fuck out.

It's likely with their clones combined that it's a rather easy process. Especially with Zhuk as blood-lusty as he is looking when he's also told you're missing.

So when they find you it's a quick in and out. You're worried for Zhuk but Cia is just getting you into the car where he's gonna start on some basic wound care that he's experienced at somehow.

When Zhuk returns they take you home, bring you to Gio, and by then it's basically a family affair. The others would respect your wishes if you wanted to be alone with any one of them but they won't let you be entirely alone after that. Especially not Cia.

He's holding you in the smoking lounge, keeping you impossibly close, and he's nursing something himself that's strong and dark.

He'll offer to make you a drink as well if you want it to help take the edge off.

Once he gets you to sleep he's spending the whole night sleeping by your side with a couple clones posted up around to keep an eye on everything. Though his Chamie clone will absolutely try to sneak in some love for himself because he was scared of losing you extra.

Bajo

He's tipped off when he heads to your room or any of your normal spots and you're nowhere to be found. That's unlike you at all.

But something just doesn't feel right.

He sends out all his clones to try and find you. They end up finding clues for your abduction and they all report back. He'll send out all the clones to search high and low at every possible place.

He's letting the others know and before they can stop him he's off to find you as well.

When the dons all finally show up, taking care of everything is easy. That's the perks of having 5 demon lovers.

But when Bajo finds you it's dramatic. He's kissing the breath out of your lungs, he's trembling and nearly crying because the other dons may have had experience with similar, but this would be Bajo's first.

He's personally taking you back home, and having Gio patch you back up.

He gets whatever you need, water, helps you bathe, he runs drugs and getting you pain relief is no problem. He'll keep you pin free and loved.

The others know he's taking it hard so they let him have you for a while. He'll be selfish and keep you to himself for as long as the two of you need.

He'll be there to listen if you need to talk, or he'll be there to distract you if that is what you prefer.

From there on he's assigning you a clone for a while. Your favorite clone, and if need be, he'll swap them out so you at least don't get bored. But he has to make sure you're safe. He can't lose you.

It was his first ever run in with losing someone he truly loved, and he can't even begin to imagine losing you permanently. He knows he will eventually, but until then, he's gonna milk all the time and love from you he can.

#Hax HCs #The conglomerate #Zhuk #scarafaggio #Gio #Scarabee #ciaróg #Cia #Escarabajo #Bajo #hostage #kidnapping #death #gore #harder themes

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dnd-drunks-n-debauchery · 4 years ago

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Recap/Highlight reel of Friday Night's session

Brought to you by @nevergonnarollagain AKA Cookie

Before we started the action, Locke asked me whether or not I wanted him to be a nice DM or a meaner one. I chose for him to be meaner because I thought it would be funny.

We join the action as our party approaches the gates of the city on our way out. In front of the gates stands an Aaracroakra wearing an apron and regular clothes. Jayfice recognises this Aaracroakra as Klilic; the pair had been dating at one point, which is how they know him. Klilic's appearance seems fairly normal apart from a greatsword on his back. (This is important for later on.)

Both Jayfice and Klilic are confused at first, with Jayfice believing that this is some sort of illusion created by their mother (who, spoiler alert, is kind of an asshole). Klilic holds out his hand for Jayfice to examine, and upon determining that Klilic is not an illusion, Jayfice grabs him into a hug which seems to make him a little uncomfortable although he does reciprocate.

Jayfice eventually pulls away and asks Klilic to come with us out of the city, but Klilic counters with staying in the city instead. Klilic has lived here all of his life and runs a bakery here, which would probably explain why he's so reluctant to leave. When Jayfice tries to explain that the city isn't safe due to their parent's plans, Klilic simply responds "Then make it safe."

As Jayfice continues to try and persuade Klilic to come with us, Klilic turns and looks up at the top of the gate. Jayfice's father walks out, speedwalking slightly before slowing down to do a slow-mo walk in an attempt to look cool. It didn't work.

Jayfice's father tells Jayfice that their mother is very upset, and that whatever argument that they've had can be sorted by coming back to the castle and having a diplomatic discussion. Jayfice tells him that they've got no room on their schedule, but their father counters with the fact that Jayfice doesn't have any bookings listed in their diary.

Jayfice's father attempts to persuade Jayfice to come back to the castle, also talking to their brother and trying to persuade him to convince Jayfice to go back to the castle. When Jayfice declines he tells them he won't stop us leaving, and as a show of good faith he opens the gates and offers to answer any questions Jayfice has about the plans.

Jayfice decides to take the opportunity to ask about the full details of the plan, and their father explains; the plan is basically to conquer the whole of Arrack. They've enlisted the help of the Brokensky (a well-known gang of criminals who coincidentally want to capture/kill Jayfice) and plan to act through the Brokensky to attack other cities and drive a divide between them to make it easier to take them all over.

Since Jayfice's father is aware of the Brokensky hunting Jayfice, he offers to help resolve the situation if Jayfice goes with him to the castle. Jayfice shows a split-second of interest, and their father notices this.

He extends his offer to answer questions to the whole group and Rosania speaks up, grumbling that anyone who works alongside the Brokensky is bad news. Jayfice's father admits that he felt the same way at first, but that things have run surprisingly smoothly with them, aside from a few contract issues which he blames on his wife making comments in the meetings.

Jayfice thanks their father for his time and sends the rest of the group ahead, staying back to talk to Klilic and try one last time to convince him to come with us. Klilic really doesn't want Jayfice to leave, and draws his sword in an attempt to persuade him to stay. The pair have an intense conversation about Jayfice not trying to keep in contact during their exile, then Klilic casts fireball at the rest of the group, knocking out Ned.

Javier attempts to zap Klilic but only succeeds in giving him a light static shock, which unusually doesn't ruffle his feathers. (Literally. His feathers don't react at all to the shock.)

Rosania reacts next, preparing to cast Dancing Lights in an attempt to distract Klilic from the fight. However, her wand seems to tell her that that isn't going to work, so thinking fast she instead runs closer and casts Thorn Whip, and the magical whip drags Klilic closer to her.

Harmony follows Javier's example, zapping the fuck out of Klilic. Again, much like what happened with Javier's static shock, Klilic's feathers are not affected by the energy from the shock.

Klilic yeets another fireball at us all and Harmony gets knocked out, breaking her arm as she falls backwards.

Javier gets pissed off when he sees Harmony's arm break and fireballs himself, knocking out Rosania and killing Ned. When he realises that Ned is dead he spins back round to face Klilic and starts glowing like fuck. It doesn't take a genius to work out that Klilic is doomed unless Javier is calmed down.

Jayfice is conflicted. They don't want to hurt Klilic but he literally just killed one of their friends. They eventually make the decision to Eldritch Blast him, much to the amusement of their mother, who briefly appears as a hologram and taunts them for this decision.

Klilic is upset at Jayfice for attacking him, and they shout at each other for a moment before he starts to attack them, slashing their chest twice and prompting Jayfice to use their Hellish Rebuke. (They're a cambion who keeps the form of an Aaracroakra, that's why they can do that.) Despite Klilic being burnt by the Hellish Rebuke, his feathers, once again, show no real traces of it.

Remember how I said that Javier was pissed that Ned is dead? Yeah. He shoots some kind of lightning out of his chest that temporarily blinds Klilic. Then he charges at Klilic and attacks him with his fire sword as Jayfice shoots Klilic with another two Eldrich Blasts.

Jayfice asks the others to help snap Javier out of his rage, and they respond by fucking shooting him. Harmony, who has been healed and is back up on her feet, sends a death glare to Jayfice before attacking Klilic as well.

Badly injured, Klilic attempts to fly away and escape, but Harmony casts a Void of Tentacles spell and grabs him in it before smashing him into the ground, killing him.

And while all of this is happening Rosania quietly fucking dies in the background.

As Harmony dispels the tentacle spell, Jayfice approaches Klilic and casts Spare the Dying to ask why the hell he attacked them all like that.

But it turns out that this wasn't actually Klilic at all.

The creature we had been fighting was actually a Grey Slaad (a shapeshifting creature from another plane), and he has a mind-control gem in his brain. He explains that the gem told him what to do and that he'd likely be made to attack again if he was released, and Jayfice stabs him to prevent that from happening. While Jayfice and the Grey Slaad are talking, Inora revives Rosania and Ned, getting them back on their feet with 1 HP each.

Jayfice's mother appears as a hologram again and mockingly congratulates Jayfice for slaying an innocent creature, then flies up above the city and announces that Jayfice made a deal with a devil and attacked the city, ruined their crops, and declares that there is a reward for whoever can kill them and bring them back. Then she turns to Jayfice and declares "Let the games...begin." (Like I said, she's an asshole.)

A whole bunch of people start charging to attack Jayfice and our party, and Rosania (who, bearing in mind, just died and got brought back to life so will be feeling rather disorientated at best) goes into a full-on panic and turns into a fucking Allosaurus. Jayfice attempts to take advantage of this situation, yelling at the mob to stay back lest they send their "Uh, uh...creature" to fight them. They also threaten them with a boomstick and pleads with their father to close the gate, but the mob gets through the gate because their father hesitated. Jayfice asks the "big creature person" (Rosania) if she can help them, and Rosania turns and runs away.

Jayfice attempts to intimidate the mob again by changing to their cambodian form and yelling at them, but it just makes the mob angrier. With no ideas left Jayfice asks the rest of the group to help and dives behind them.

And the group gives the mob the same treatment they gave Javier.

Which is to fucking shoot them.

The entire fucking mob dies much to the horror of Jayfice, who casts Spare the Dying before turning and running away. The rest of the party follows them, and Locke comments that the Spare the Dying that Jayfice cast saved like one person in the mob.

Rosania leads the sprint from the city, noticing up ahead that there's a group dressed up in black and blue, led by someone out in front dressed in green. She finally calms down enough to stop running and turn back into herself, and decides not to tell the rest of the party about the group approaching. Jayfice announces that they'll need to find somewhere to shelter for the night and Rosania takes charge, silently leading the group to look for shelter.

Rosania leads them towards a group of trees, and while it would be a satisfactory place to shelter for the night a little voice in the back of her mind tells her to go just a little bit further. Trusting this voice, she leads them past the trees and we eventually arrive at a small, abandoned town. All of the buildings seem to have taken damage, but most of the buildings would be safe to shelter in. While there does appear to be smoke further in the distance, the party collectively decide to settle in at the abandoned town for the night.

We all head inside the tavern, noticing a rotten carrot and some rotted tatters that may once have been from some extravagant clothing in the corner. Upstairs there seem to be a lot of yuletide decorations, and one room in particular seems to be decked out in yuletide fancies.

During the night, Jayfice wakes up with a weird feeling that something's wrong. They can hear the crunch of snow outside, and sneak over to the window to see what's out there. They see a man standing next to the tavern looking shocked to have seen/heard activity in the town, and as they watch the man begins to cast some kind of spell.

Jayfice sneaks outside to talk to the man, and he explains that he's a potion-seller who lives in the potion-shop across the street. Jayfice offers the man some crackers, and as soon as they hold out the cracker box all the crackers are eaten.

Jayfice spots a fiendish woman and an elvish woman walking around talking, and lures the man inside before spying on the women. They seem to be talking about taking people's souls, and mention "the exiled one", before going their separate ways. Jayfice attempts to follow the elvish woman, but loses track of her in the dark. They go back to the inn and fall asleep again.

Jayfice wakes up again a short time later, hearing what sounds like hooves on the floor somewhere upstairs. They go to check it out and find the fiendish woman from earlier, who demands to know what makes them special enough that the assassin would spare them and change an agreement she made with her. Jayfice admits that they don't know, but that if she wants their soul she can take it. She decides to spare them for now and leaves, and an uneasy Jayfice stays awake watching in case she returns.

As they look out of the window, Jayfice sees someone walking around watching their window, occasionally stopping to flip a coin. Then off in the distance they spot the group Rosania saw before; a group of people dressed up in black and blue, led by someone out in front dressed in green.

This is where we ended the session, although Locke revealed during a conversation afterwards that when I chose for him to be meaner at the start of the session, I was determining the Grey Slaad's AC and how many fireballs he had, essentially making him a tougher opponent. In response to that revelation, I announced "Guess I'll be choosing route B more often!"

#dnd #d&d #recap #Cookie

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johannesviii · 4 years ago

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So I guess I’m hyperfixating on Death Stranding at the moment

And since I’ve finally finished the story after playing it for like 100 hours over the course of seven months or so I guess I have Opinions(tm) about things I didn’t like in the game

They’re eating at my brain so I’m gonna put them all in a single post to get them out of my system once and for all so I can enjoy the rest in peace

Spoilers, obviously

Hi welcome back to ‘Johannes is obsessing over yet another video game with horror elements in it’! I guess!!

Our latest entry in that category was Until Dawn but since UD can be played in like 6/7 hours and I spent 100 hours of my life on DS, as you can guess we’re talking about a full-blown hyperfixation, the kind that physically hurts because I can’t focus on anything else even after having finished the storyline

But it was super gradual. Again, seven months. I barely made any progress from December to May because I was only doing side-deliveries at the beginning of Chapter 3 instead of... you know... advancing the plot. It became an honest-to-god special interest about two months ago, then 6 days ago while playing chapter 10 it reached hyperfixation levels and now I am in PAIN

I hate my brain

Anyhow

At first I wanted to list the good and the bad hings in it but there’s too many good things to list them all in full, excruciatingly long details, so

Very Quick And Very Incomplete List Of Good Things That I Love

It’s a post-apo game based on travel, logistics, and good will, and it straight up goes AGAINST the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ trope that SO MANY post-apo things try to push!! YES

I insist but it’s built on helping each other and keeping everyone alive, seriously that is my shit right there!

The online community is wholesome?? People leave stuff everywhere, you never see anyone but people put little helpful signs and send you likes, and in my game we almost managed to repair all the roads together

There’s so many new & strange allergies and disabilities and phobias in this post-apo world and? nobody is trying to ““fix”“ anyone?? Like Heartman with his padded floor and his little box that brings him back to life constantly. He’s just... living like that. Nobody’s going “hey maybe you should get another heart operation buddy”

The hero and his phobia of being touched. I. Loved. That. The quiet scenes when he was just talking with Fragile, sitting next to her. In any other context this would just be two people sitting next to each other and talking but it always feels so soft and intimate everytime he allows another human being to just. be next to him. I love it. I love them

Everyone crying constantly because of chiral allergy!!

I loved all the important characters bar one (Bridget/Amelie)!

Why is this walking simulator so enjoyable why am I enjoying the fact that holding L2 + R2 while walking feels like holding your backpack and that you have to relax at times just like you’d have to if you were actually holding a backpack

Seriously. Why

The atmosphere was so great, the music was fantastic and the visuals were on point. A E S T H E T I C

The ghosts!! The giant Beached Things!!! Chiral crystals look! like! creepy hands reaching for the SKY!!

THE RAIN DESTROYS THINGS AND KILLS PEOPLE BY ACCELERATING TIME THIS IS SO COOL SHUT UP

Everytime the game got surreal it was electrifying

THE SURREAL WAR SCENES ON CLIFF’S BEACH

Everyone is using emojis

There’s guys addicted to delivering packages in that game and they’re trying to steal our stuff and we’re like “haha they’re dumb” but we’re basically addicted to delivering packages as the player. So yeah that was pretty fun

Terrorists thinking humanity isn’t going extinct fast enough and wanting to just rip the bandaid and speed things up. Simple but effective concept

People ask for SUPER VITAL ITEMS right next to completely trivial stuff and I’m LIVING for it. “Please fetch my toy dinosaur”. I feel you dude

The most isolated characters are like "LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS THING I LIKE" in your emails because they haven't had contact with other humans in years, it's super relatable

There’s a farm where people use the fact that Timefall rain accelerates time to grow food super quickly in one (1) Timefall and harvest everything just before it starts to die and I LOVE that detail of worldbuilding so much

YOU’RE FIGHTING BEACHED THINGS WITH YOUR OWN BODILY FLUIDS IT’S SO STUPID BUT ALSO SO COOL?? I love yeet-ing my own blood at eldritch entities

THE T W I S T S

All the fanservice (bar one detail that I’m gonna complain about later) is on dudes. This game reeeeeeally likes to show dudes naked or somewhat naked. Mostly the main character but this mocap also L O V E S Mads Mikkelsen and there’s a shit ton of homoerotic shots in there

I love Sam the antisocial papa wolf delivery man and if someone touches him or his baby again, I will cry

LOU. LOU LOU LOU PRECIOUS BABY I’D DIE FOR YOU. Wait I did

I love Fragile and how brave she is and how she keeps helping people even if most of them wrongly think she’s a terrorist and yes I will eat this cryptobiote thank you

I love soft science boi Heartman who keeps dying again and again and is a bit too much interested in bodily fluids

I love garbage man Higgs and how complex, funny and still somewhat tragic this memelord actually turned out to be in the end

Seriously I want to stop fixating on this character but you can’t give me YET ANOTHER character who wants to die but at the hands of someone else, that is unfair to do that right after my fixation on the new Doctor Who Master

So yeah Higgs is yet another character who makes me want to grab him by the lapels and shake him and yell WHY! ARE! YOU! LIKE! THIS! STOP! BEING! LIKE! THIS!!

Cliff broke all three of my feelings beautifully and in excruciatingly well-acted scenes that transcended the sometimes lackluster dialogue

John made me cry during That Scene

Mama your background was tragic and terrifying and you didn’t deserve any of this shit and I love you

Deadman was more funny than anything, really, but I still liked him even if he had no sense of personal space whatsoever and it clashed horribly with Sam’s phobias

The ending had some sad parts but was mostly positive, thank goodness

Now I’m gonna explain things I dislike and this looks long but it’s actually only 5 main things so I bolded them to avoid confusion

Things I really disliked (and could have been handled wayyyy better)

We all know it but Kojima isn’t a master of subtlety and some parts of the dialogue kept repeating the same informations again and again AND AGAIN and I was like “ok ok I get it”

The dialogue can be so bad at times seriously

Kojima is a bad writer there I said it

It was particularly annoying with Amelie/Bridget and the fact she’s a horrible person trying (and failing) to justify her actions wasn’t helping

Bridges protocols are incredibly intrusive. All of them. I know it’s framed as bad and Sam hates being spied on all the time and in the end he destroys the device that does that, but I wish someone else would openly criticise it in-game

I guess Deadman sort of did but still

Also I know the whole BB technology was Bridget’s idea, and since she’s the actual villain it’s framed as a twisted, evil thing during the ending, but I wish that had been framed like that much earlier ; a lot of Bridges employees just... seem to accept the idea that their employer is using premature babies and their dead mothers as useful, if disturbing, devices. They seem to justify it by “uh we stole that technology from terrorists” to try to cope with the idea but... yeah.

I mean, one of the points being made very early on is that Sam sees his BB as his child who must be protected at all costs instead of a detection device, but I really wish he wasn’t the only one to object to that thing

Again, the game DOES frame "using babies and their dead mothers as tools” as evil and twisted, I just wish it was given a lot more weight and way sooner

Now let’s talk about the Token Straight(tm) in this game

In any other kind of context it would be a joke! But Death Stranding literally has a Token Straight Guy!

I mean, there IS a few hetero couples among the Preppers. Not a lot, mind you. Like, there’s the Montaineer and his wife for instance. But they’re just there and it’s not what their side plot is about

No I’m talking about this piece of shit right there

This f█cking Junk Dealer guy complains the girl he loves is dead because of Bridges and emotionally blackmails us by sending us old holograms of her before her supposed death (somewhat disturbing holograms too because she looks... pretty young in them), then he sends us on what’s essentially a suicide mission in a BT infested zone, THEN when we give him proof she’s still alive and living in another bunker nearby, he won’t go there himself to check??

But SHE’s like “ok, bring me to him, then!”

He doesn’t deserve you, girl

I’ve already seen several people pointing out that carrying a woman as cargo on your back is... debatable at best and sexist at worst, but that part didn’t really bother me to be honest? She asked to be carried to him and it’s her choice. She was talking to us the entire way too, so that made things a lot less awkward. Also Sam has this phobia of being touched by other people so I bet carrying another human being on his back isn’t fun for him. It was also super stressful to do, to be honest.

And then there’s this EXTREMELY AWKWARD scene when they’re reunited and decide to get married, and thankfully Sam finds it just as awkward as we do because he’s standing super far away from the bunker in a “can’t they talk about this later - I’m right there” way. And I’m under the impression it was intended as cringy, in a “yeppp young people in love are Like That” sort of way, so I can accept that, to be honest. If you don’t take that scene seriously, it’s pretty fun in, again, a cringy sort of way

BUT

Then you receive more emails later and this piece of shit guy complains about her and he’s like “ugh WOMEN” or “marriage is the worst” and they end up divorced in record time and she goes back to her bunker

Which isn’t my problem with this subplot either, I promise I’m gonna explain myself eventually but this context is important. It’s okay to have characters who are pieces of shit like this guy who reeks of incel cologne. It’s alright. Not every character has to be a role-model. It’s good to have characters you can hate.

BUT THEN they get back together later to try to patch things up and you learn he was part of a gang who murdered her parents even though he protected her against the rest of the gang and that’s what I hated about that storyline. I guess if you squint it can be read as “this woman is making REALLY BAD life choices” but I read it as “he saved her so she owes him something, he can’t be entirely bad” and y i k e s this left such a bad taste in my mouth, good lord.

But yeah miss Chiral Artist you’re making really bad life choices please get away from this dude as soon as you can, thank you

Also don’t do this ‘sending Likes’ pose ever again, it was hilarious but also you made me use the word “cringy” several times in this paragraph even though I absolutely hate cringe culture, look what you made me do

Now I have to talk about a scene that was intentionally disturbing as hell but ONE (1) detail in it was disturbing for the wrong reasons

To be honest, I really don’t like the Metal Gear Solid games and one of the reasons is the rampant sexism in them so I... was kind of bracing myself for Death Stranding and expecting it to have at least SOME really bad fanservice with a woman at one point or another but to my surprise?? There was none? All the fanservice is on dudes??? Hello? I really liked that (well at some point Fragile takes a shower in our room but we see literally nothing except her shoulder and then Sam looks away)?? What a refreshing change

THAT BEING SAID

And if you played the game you know exactly what I’m about to talk about

Yep this is the part where Johannes complains about how the bomb flashback was shot

Ok so I guess I should also give some context in case someone is reading this but hasn’t played the game, but the deal with this scene is that our friend Fragile was betrayed by her colleague Higgs who used to be a porter but became a terrorist after meeting the “main“ villain of the game. First he secretly put a thermonuclear bomb in one of her deliveries so she’d nuke an entire city without even knowing it, and everyone after that thought she was a terrorist. And then he tried to do that shit A SECOND TIME, but she noticed and decided to toss the second nuke into a bottomless lake of tar. But he caught her just before she reached the lake and he decided to give her a sadistic choice, which was “teleport away and the bomb stays there and nukes the city, or carry it to the lake but only in your underwear under this rain that speeds up time and it will do enormous damage to your health and your body”

And of course being the hero she is, she decides to take the second option

And it’s an incredibly disturbing scene and it’s genuinely hard to watch

But it’s also the ONLY time a woman is in her underwear in this entire game and there’s A COUPLE of shots that were male-gaze-y at the beginning before she started to run and the really horrific part started.

So in a way I guess it could have been worse? way worse, even

But it still tarnishes an otherwise disturbing (and harrowing at times ; seriously I know I’m oversensitive but it was physically painful to watch) scene with unnecessary shots

We know Fragile had a young body before this happened, this isn’t the point of this scene, guys

Whoever decided to keep these shots (probably Kojima let’s face it), that is bad and you should feel bad

Idk how to do a visual transition for that next one because I do not want to screen that memo

So here’s a screenshot with a nice landscape instead

tw: acephobia

Now I have to talk about something I like the GENERAL IDEA of, but not how the IN-GAME MATERIAL ABOUT IT was written

Because I have to talk about that “asexual world” memo

First I have to say that I absolutely love the fact that a mainstream game openly says in-game “this future is full of asexual people" and?? it’s just that, it’s a part of this world. That’s just how things are. It’s normalised. I love it. For crying out loud this memo has the word demisexual in it. I can’t think of any other mainstream game that had this word in it so far.

It should have stopped there and let me enjoy that in peace but it didn’t

THE MEMO ITSELF WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THESE CONCEPTS and there’s some really bad stuff there. I’d say it’s accidental acephobia but it’s still there. I’m not the best person to talk about this because I’m bi, but it still rubbed me the wrong way

The words this memo uses near the beginning are “"sexless lifestyle” among young people” and yikes, my dude. “Lifestyle”, uh? Really?

And then it goes on about how these new labels were already more and more common “among young people before the Death Stranding” and it also rubs me the wrong way, in a “wow young people and their weird labels lol” sort of queerphobic way?

However I’ve seen a post pointing out that the line “One theory posits that the Stranding accelerated the proliferation of these sexualities” was maybe a way of saying ‘yo asexuals are causing the end of the world’ but... I don’t see it, tbh? In the context of the game, society is extremely divided and a lot of people live in complete isolation and social norms have heavily shifted and it’s kind of normal that there’s queer people visible everywhere now, aces included obviously, because nobody’s bothering to hide it anymore. It’s a post-apocalyptic world! People are just being themselves! A lot of characters also seem to be bi/pan! They’re just vibing ok

At least that’s how I read that part, I can understand if someone had a problem with that bit but I didn’t

BUT! THAT’S NOT ALL because the memo concludes (I’m paraphrasing) “the birth rate has dropped, which might be a problem, but harassment and assault have also dropped, which is good, so idk it’s 50/50″ and. like. I get the intention. But it’s clumsy as hell and very bad. Please don’t confuse abuse of power and attraction. They don’t go hand in hand. Don’t do that. Please. And you know that aces can have kids if they want to, right. Come on. It’s 2020 my dude. This shit is harmful

Also. Like. It’s the end of the world in this game. People don’t want kids. It... has nothing to do with aces. Reality itself is crashing down. People are reluctant to have kids because reality.exe might f█cking crash down at any given moment!

Or a Beached Thing could VoidOut their city!

Or someone might send them a nuke, not naming names!!

Anyway!!!

It’s really badly written and whoever wrote it should educate themselves and maybe get an ace to re-read their stuff next time??

Again I’m not the right person to talk about acephobia and I bet an actual ace would have plenty more to say about this

Thankfully it’s a memo written in-game by a random Bridges councellor and NOT by any important character that we actually know

"I must preempt myself by admitting that I do not have any empirical data" yeah so, f█ck off maybe

So I’m just gonna call that guy “another piece of shit character” but it still doesn’t excuse the fact that the memo was written by someone who thought it was a good idea to put it in the game

Just let me enjoy my super queer post-apo world in peace and don’t write shit like that in your game thank you and goodbye

Minor stuff I also disliked but it wasn’t as awful

I get that Sam is upset at the end because Lou is dying but the way he said goodbye to Fragile broke my heart. It was abrupt and you KNOW he’s upset and wants to have nothing to do with Bridges anymore and that’s very understandable but it isn’t her fault

Seriously I want them to be friends again

I’m gonna pretend they’re friends again after Lou is saved and that Sam is a freelance porter again and sometimes their paths cross and they just talk together in the middle of nowhere and share cryptobiotes

The pacing is weird, there’s this deluge of plot in the beginning and the end but not much in the middle?

The BT boss fights could have been these epic Shadow of the Colossus showdowns but no, they were relatively standard boss fights. Wasted opportunity

The running on the Beach scene sdfghjhgfdsdfghjhgf that was... dumb

A lot of preppers are interesting in one way or another but some are just boring. Also I wish the design of their bunkers was more varied

Amelie/Bridget’s motivations are all over the place, both creating Bridges AND the Demens is... a lot? I know she both WANTS and DOESN’T want the actual, final end of the world to happen but that is a lot to take in and it’s all very confusing

Who the hell cares about ‘rebuilding America’ I just want to build a network where people can help each other

The ‘likes’ are fun but don’t make much sense

In conclusion

Death Stranding Good

Some stuff Bad

Some stuff Very Bad (but it’s just one memo out of 100+ memos, thank god)

I’m still hyperfixating

Send help

#death stranding #long post #eye contact tw #acephobia tw #from a minor unamed character but still it's there

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rsadelle · 4 years ago

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The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.