#This method ups my serotonin

[corneredcopia]

While I draw I like to have a little bill cipher staring at my work to motivate me

[valdotjpg]

escapism can be both a respite and a prison. btw

[dremieblur]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals, followers and all the wonderful people on here!

5 things that make me happy:

Shockingly enough (or unshockingly), my self insert 🍋 The DREMIEVERSE paracosm (really new, the posts scattered around are about this) Vanilla frosting D&D podcasts (I normally gravitate towards funny, haha ones with elements of seriousness) One Piece (I have finished the anime on Netflix, but there are still more episodes)

[forlornmelody]

Today’s List of Nice Things:

1) Had pizza from my favorite local pizza place. Yum.

2) Stop giving me feels, Evelyn Hugo. It’s not fair.

3) Found a vegan Italian place. 

4) Got home in time for a walk before dark! (Sunset is now 10 min later than it was on the solstice. At least here. Your mileage may vary.)

[toweroftickles]

Hi (:

What do you think about characters of "Inside out 2"? Do we have some lees here?

Ok I somehow didn't experience the original Inside Out until like 2 weeks ago, and then immediately rushed to theaters for the second one, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since! Of course the first thing I started daydreaming about was the chaos that would ensue in Brain HQ during tickles. So yes, I've definitely got headcanons. XD

EMOTIONAL * RESPONSES

When Riley Gets Tickled

Joy squees, claps, bounces up and down, the usual. "AAAH Tickle time! Awww, our girl is still so adorable..."

Disgust: "Mm-mm. I hate this. Hate it. Majorly messing with my zen."

Sadness: *confused and a little uncomfortable*

Fear: *open-mouthed and deeply uncomfortable*

Envy gasps and hops up to the screen. "Omigosh omigosh they're touching us. That means they like us and think we're cute, right? Right?!"

Anger: "Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?! You want a fight, kid?! I'll give ya a fight! Right up your -"

Anxiety: "Wait! There's a million possible variables in what'll happen if we decide to fight back! Accidentally punching them would be devastating to our network!"

Joy's not paying attention, she's too busy laughing and hammering the serotonin injector.

"I-I got it! Scream! Just holler, really loud!"

"GUHH, get out of the wayyyy; stop hogging this thing! We have to run! Come on!"

Ennui: *exists in French*

*Meanwhile Embarrassment is just spread out like a starfish and rolling his entire girth back and forth across the keyboard.*

When Riley's Tickling Someone Else

Joy takes the wheel here. The others know not to disturb a master plying her craft. She's an expert tickler, so she feeds Riley a whole bushel of fun ideas, and Envy is her eager troublemaker minion.

There is in fact a dedicated "Tickle" command button. The plastic is slightly stuck in the slot because it hasn't been used much.

Anger keeps trying to grab his levers and switches, but Joy usually shoves him to the side with her foot.

*tries to wrest control from Joy and rein her in*

*barfing in the corner somewhere*

When a Tickle Scene Pops Up in a Movie

Joy giggles happily and squirms in her seat, then boops the control panel so that Riley follows suit.

Disgust is a tiny bit antsy...she's not influencing Riley yet but she's on standby in case stuff gets weird.

Embarrassment gingerly taps the console at increasing intervals until Sadness pulls his arm away.

Ennui: Probably watching something else. Or doomscrolling.

When Someone Asks Riley if She's Ticklish

*screams like a little girl*

*hides, bangs head on the desk*

"That is NOT funny!"

"Oh no! What do we do; whaddawedo?! Riley's way too ticklish! What if they tickle us and don't stop for the rest of eternity?! What if they think Riley's laugh is weird and we're socially ostracized and forced to get a job in a fish cannery?!"

“Ew ew ew ew no. Lie. We have to lie right now!” *jumps for the controller*

*Joy grabs Disgust's arm* "Whoa whoa whoa, eeeaasy there. Let's just calm down...this is a fun question; we're having fun..."

Envy: "Ooo, what if they're ticklish and they want us to tickle them?" *already wiggling her fingers in the air*

"But if we misread that signal and make them mad at us, then..."

Ennui: *groans and taps her console app*

Riley, being super casual: “Meh…a little. Not really.”

Suddenly Riley's eyes dilate. Her throat hitches and there's the tiniest bit of pink in her cheeks. Everyone turns their heads to look at -

“EMBARRASSMENT!!! *dry heave* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

"Ohhhh boy. There it is. We're doomed now."

When They Get Tickled Themselves

Come on, we all know that Joy always draws first blood. (Er...first giggle?) She's such a switchy monster. Tickling is her default method of cheering others up. It's canon. Case closed.

As someone whose default setting repels positivity, Sadness is not ticklish at all, and this actually upsets her.

*silently grabs the tickler by the neck and tosses them out the window*

Nobody protests like Disgust. She gets mad. She slaps. She hurls insults. She runs away. Disgust is both extremely ticklish and extremely touch-averse, so this is Code Red for her.

Fear is the type who doesn’t so much “laugh” as “have a shrieking, spastic outburst and breakdance like Sonic the Hedgehog in a malfunctioning taser-testing facility."

At first, Anxiety is overcome by stressful jitters, miserable and whimpering, and her whole body contracts. After a few moments of tickling, though, she starts to let all that tension out and relaxes into nervous vibrato laughter. It becomes sort of a therapeutic stress release, like her special chair.

It's not exactly the physical sensation of tickle torture that Envy craves, it's the attention. The sound she makes when tickled oscillates between wild, snorty cackles and the dulcet hoots of a baby owl trapped in a pinball machine.

Ennui is dead. No reaction. Her body is a neurological cemetery. ...EXCEPT for her heels and the back of her knees. (And if you thought phone loss made her experience Vietnam flashbacks...)

What do you think Embarrassment does? He plops himself down on the floor and pulls his hoodie so tight around his face that no one can tell if he's laughing or sobbing.

Misc.

As Riley's primary protector, Fear is always scouting ahead for any potentially-tickly environmental hazards, and gently nudges her away from catastrophe ("you forgot your shoes! put them back on before you walk on grass;" "don't lift your arms up around Bree and Grace;" "those massage chairs in the mall are actually full of rusty knives and drug dealers sleep on them;" etc.)

When Riley gets tickled, the emotions don't "feel" it, exactly, but they perceive something of a contact buzz.

These are typically how the reactions go, but they're not universal. If Riley's been in a bad mood, Anger might be more proactive in grabbing the handles. Embarrassment may have more or less of his body mass pancaking the buttons, depending on who's tickling her. (Like...a boy?! Or Val?! Or -) Standard variations like that.

Riley

Riley has an extremely ticklish tummy! That's her spot. (Just the vibe I get; IDK.)

Bree and Grace are really ticklish too, but Riley is the weak link... the member of the trio that the other two team up against. Lots of tickle fights and sneak attacks.

She obviously loves to laugh and goof around with her friends, but probably isn't over-enthused by that last part.

Val

The most popular girl in school, the tough athletic one - her adulating devotees wouldn't think it, but beneath that too-cool exterior, Val is very weak to tickling.

All the other Firehawks know, and like to tease Val by poking her.

She's a good sport about it and takes it like a champ - just yelps and laughs and pushes back. They have fun.

Her big weakness is her feet.

Lance Slashblade

Crop top alert. The abs are asking for it. (Just sayin.')

The thought of being tickled is intolerable to him. Even in this...what should be a moment of joyous camaraderie...he is haunted. Forced to laugh like...like some sort of...clown swordsman?! How could he be so weak...so degraded...so unworthy to carry the holy blade of his ancestors, they whose destinies were written in the stars ere these centuries long past? Will he never be a true warrior, with the strength to stem the tide of encroaching night? It is too painful to think about...the icy whips of humiliation, always ravenous and bitter in their lashes, strike! and cast him into the shadows and okay the joke's over now we're getting long-winded and edgelordery big words drama sparkling vampires and junk

(Also, yes, he Morph-Balls himself.)

[httpvomitello]

Hey so how do you think the tmnt boys would deal with having a crush where they text each other frequently and also do hang out a lot. But what they do when for once their crush texts them “I hate everything right now. I’m so angry. >:(“. Behind the scenes Their crush just came on their time of the month and now they’re like angry with everything hormonally? If the boys come over cuz crush isn’t answering, hours later, crush seeming better, “sorry about that. I just came on my time of the month earlier, this ones bad this month and my emotions are crazy. I now just feel depressed :(”?

Hello again! I hope you like it! ♡♡♡♡

Leonardo

Leo gets a text from his crush that reads, “I’m so over everything right now. I’m mad and don’t even know why.”

He’s used to keeping joking his way out of awkward situations, so he responds

“Yikes, sounds rough! Want me to come over and cheer you up with some cool ninja moves or bad jokes?”

When there’s no reply for hours, Leo’s anxiety spikes (even if he won't admit it)

He grabs his katanas (just in case) and heads out to check on them

When he arrives, his crush finally explains, “Sorry about that. I just came on my time of the month earlier. This one’s bad, and my emotions are crazy.”

He might be a little awkward at first, but he quickly adapts, flashing his signature grin

“Ah, no worries. Your favorite turtle has arrived!So, what’s the plan? Do you want to grab us some snacks and watch some movies?”

They decide to watch Twilight

It's a good thing they ended up sleeping next to Leo, because that way they didn't have to witness him start crying at the end

He’s happy to be a distraction, whether it’s watching a movie or just hanging out

He’ll probably pull out a few tricks, magic or otherwise, to get a smile out of them before the day’s done.

Raphael

Raph gets a message from his crush that says, “I’m so frustrated. Everything’s making me mad for no reason, and I’m trying to keep it together.”

He doesn't take long to send a message asking if everything is okay

When he doesn’t get a reply after a while, Raph starts pacing

He debates texting again but doesn’t want to seem pushy, so instead, he heads out

When Raph gets there, his crush doesn't take long to explain

“Hey, sorry I didn’t respond earlier. My period just started, and it’s hitting hard this time. I feel like a mess right now,”

Raph softens immediately, his face full of understanding

He knows how overwhelming emotions can be, and he doesn’t want to make things worse by crowding them

He’ll stay close, maybe put on a show they both like or offer up his shoulder if they need a comforting presence.

Donatello

Donnie receives a text from hos crush at a random time while he was finishing one of his projects

“Today’s been a mess, and I’m so angry. I don’t know how to shake this mood.”

His immediate reaction is to problem-solve, so he texts back

“I’ve read that mood swings can sometimes be helped by balancing serotonin levels. Do you want me to come over and help you troubleshoot?”

He’s serious about wanting to help, though his methods may seem a bit... clinical

When he doesn’t get a response for hours, Donnie’s curiosity gets the best of him

It doesn't take long to get to their house

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you. My period started earlier, and it’s really messing with my emotions. I just feel so out of it,”

Donnie immediately understands and goes into helpful mode

“While I can’t stop that, I can help with the physical discomfort or even keep you company to distract you from the emotional side effects.”

He might offer up some tech-based solutions, like a supercharged heating pad or an app he coded to track moods and help regulate them

If they’re feeling down, he’ll switch from science talk to a more personal approach, asking what they need and offering to help with whatever would make them more comfortable

Even if his methods are a little unconventional, Donnie genuinely wants to make things better for them.

Michelangelo

Mikey got the text from his crush while he was watching his favorite cartoon

“I’m just in such a bad mood today. I feel off, and I hate it.”

His heart sinks because he’s all about making people feel happy and loved, especially his crush. He responds immediately

“Aw, that’s the worst! You want me to come over and bring snacks and some good vibes? I’ll cheer you up, promise!”

When there’s no reply for a while, Mikey’s concern turns into action. He grabs a bunch of their favorite snacks and his skateboard, determined to turn their day around

When they finally explain, “Sorry for not responding. My period started, and it’s been a rough one. My emotions are just all over the place,”

Mikey is quick to jump into comfort mode, his empathy showing immediately

“I’m here to make you feel better, no worries. Snacks? Cartoons? Blanket fort? You name it, and we’ll do it!”

Mikey’s goal is to lift their spirits, no matter what

His energy is contagious, and he’ll stick around for as long as they need

By the end of the day, Mikey will make sure they’re at least smiling, even if just a little

[viablemess]

Struggle with getting big projects done (especially if you dread them) while experiencing executive dysfunction? Here is my tip: my therapist told me to break everything down into VERY small pieces. So instead of "I have to write my XYZ" it turns into

1. Pick spot to work.

2. Get materials together needed to work.

3. Go to work spot.

4. Sit down, get materials out.

5. Open any programs necessary to work.

6. Work for 5 minutes. Then 10.

7. Slowly work my way up to pomodoro method.

I know this won't work for everyone but it has been a life saver for me, especially because I get so much serotonin from checking things off my to do list, and then I get to check off 5 things before the work even starts, which makes me feel good about myself. Happy productivity, folks.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Yk Back At The Random Ghost Rebel Stuff

A straight up ramble but does anyone feels this retching feeling in their hearts whenever they think about the High Cloud Quintet and its lore and go like "Dang, if only we COULD change what had happened bc this crap is dark and sad as hell" because that's what I feel like right now

And lemme tell you: It's not a good feeling bc I don't even want to think about how they're all just old and tired grannies and grandpas. The only person that has proper solace in the High Cloud Quintet is flipping Baiheng bro—poor Yingxing got turned into Blade bc yk—he's the beloved of that one relic set story.

Dan Flipping Feng becomes Dan Heng and even as Dan Heng he doesn't get a single drop of solace bc now the former-artisan-now-maniac dude is chasing him all across the universe bc of the sins of the past and it's just so heartbreaking bc Dan Heng isn't Dan Feng and Blade is only the shadow of Yingxing (this concept with Yingxing and Blade heavily reminds me of Makoto and Ei—Ei was the shadow of Makato and the shadow of the light is all that remains ykyk)

And then there's Jingliu who just straight up asks her student to kill her if she ever becomes mara-struck and in the end she still lives somehow and then she decides to go full-traumatizer with Blade back when he was the Unnamed that wandered the place—as if he needed MORE trauma and honestly her weak grasp over the mara which in turn makes her insane is so upsetting bc in the end she ends up having beef with a 14 year-old lieutenant who's trying to do his job and protect the Luofu (though, I have to admit it: as much as I want to protect my child Yanqing, his methods were kind of flawed—) even if he doesn't know who Jingliu is.

And ofc we got the last man standing Jing Yuan who just sees ghosts in everyone around him. Istg I feel like bc he sees ghosts, he can't move on from the past, and when he can't move on from the past, it's honestly a red flag bc it might mean that his present relationships with everyone are (sometimes) only just one-sided or something. Like, take the relationship between Yanqing and he: Yanqing trusts the General with his life bc he raised him as a baby. But the fact that he calls Jing Yuan "General" and not some sort of parental title says that Jing Yuan is being unnecessarily secretive due to his fear of vulnerability. I mean—literally in 1.2 Story Quest, Jing Yuan quite literally just left Yanqing on the island alone after he got beat up by two men that have beef with one another, practically leaving him in the dark with no explanation. And even before that, Yanqing was still left in the dark. Jing Yuan doesn't open up easily bc of the crap he's been through, which is understandable, but his lack of explanation backing up his highly meticulous moves—that's not really healthy. In the end, it just leaves a gap of mistrust, be it intentional or not, between Jing Yuan and Yanqing. In some cases, and this one (imo atleast) is one of them, if you don't explain your actions, it pretty much just leaves the person that's been left in the dark with their waves of emotions, which might cost said-relationship between the two people in the long run.

It also seems like (based off what we know of, at least) at least half of Jing Yuan's choices are also connected to sentimental reasons and seeing ghosts in people. I think he sees a ghost in Yanqing (idk who tho—ppl say it's Yingxing bc of his obsession over the sword), he sees one in Yukong (definitely Baiheng), he sees one in Dan Heng (obvious reasons, very evident throughout the game) and possible Bailu (because she's technically being hailed as the next Imbibitor Lunae after Dan Feng's sin), and it could possibly go on. This old grandpa really is comparing the present with his past and that's honestly a little heartbreaking, bc there is a chance that that might mean that Jing Yuan found more happiness (serotonin work hardcore fr) in his past than he does in his present. He should at least be happy enough of the present to not be this sentimental of the past, but he's really suffering of the incidents like bro—

The High Cloud Quintet is like The Five Yakshas from Genshin Impact but with more lore (that we know of) and more angst twists (that we know of) to it fr. It's so heartbreaking and angsty, I both love it, hate it, and cry about it.

Like bro, look at these two groups. It's always a group of five sobbing.

They're all fine as hell too like CMON

[strangermerrick]

backseat [billy h.] 18+

♥ A/N: Another fictional creation that has been hiding in my archives. Posting the Jonathan fic brought me serotonin. Now beware, this Billy piece was written quite some time ago and I tried to touch it up as best as I could. There may be some mistakes, but hopefully nothing too drastic!

♥ Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (pull-out method used however), Billy is sort of maybe a jerk but our sweet Reader adheres to the chaos... Um, a little bit of degradation? Backseat make outs, backseat sex... I believe that's it!

♥ Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

“you can’t be serious,” you look over at Billy who is grinning smugly, cigarette held between his index and middle finger. 

“of course i am, doll face.” Billy’s staggering look sends chills down your spine.

the parking lot was completely empty. it was way past your curfew, but when you were dating the Billy Hargrove, danger called and you answered. the radio hummed with a familiar rock band song. 

“well?” Billy passes you the cigarette. “is daddy’s little girl gonna come out of that tight shell?” 

gasping, you rolled your eyes. “i am not in a tight shell, Hargrove.” you flounce before reaching out and taking the cigarette from him. 

“atta girl…” Billy hums approvingly. sighing, you bring the cigarette to your lips and take a long drag, causing your boyfriend’s blue eyes to widen. “she can be bad?” he mocks you. 

rolling your eyes at him, you give him the middle finger before blowing the smoke from your ruby red lips. Billy’s teeth are exposed, a hand reaching up to push through his dirty blonde curls as he witnesses the sight before him. daddy’s little girl is all nice and bad for him. 

the space was cramped in the back of his camaro, but you paid no mind. you were just glad you snuck out of your home and hopped in before your parents realized you weren’t upstairs studying for tomorrow’s upcoming chemistry test. 

“well, you got me outta the house, Billy. whatcha gonna do now?” you tempt him with hooded eyes, a sultry look filling your face. Billy bites down on his lip as he soaks up the sight of you. he glances to the front seat and pulls himself forward. you can’t help but grab a handful of his tight ass. his jeans fit him so well. 

he swatted your hand as he turned up the radio, Billy Idol’s rebel yell playing through the car’s radio. 

Billy returns to the back seat of the camaro where he settles into the middle seat before pulling you over. he lifts that sweet little dress you opted to wear tonight over your hips before planting you snugly on top of his hips. the metal of his belt collided with your warm thighs, causing a shiver to roll down your spine. 

“thought the good girl could be bad?” Billy asked, pulling at the straps of the dress to reveal a dusty blue bra. he leans forward and captures your lips for a searing kiss, earning you to moan loudly against his mouth as you fight against yourself to not grind with neediness into his crotch. 

“she can be,” you hiss as he bites on your bottom lip, dragging it forward. he tasted just like the cigarette he had already put out. nicotine-infused breath mingled with yours as you tasted his tongue, groaning softly against him as you cup his cheeks. you kiss him with such fierceness, it has Billy purposefully grabbing onto your hips and forcing you to move. 

“i didn’t bring you out here to just look pretty in the passenger seat.” Billy hums, a throaty groan expelling as he hurriedly drives his ring-clad fingers right where you wanted him most. your sex was growing slick with want for him and you knew that if you kept it up, you’d be getting your world rocked in the backseat of this camaro while Billy Idol talked about rebel yelling. 

“you think i’m pretty?” You whimper, kissing his sharp jawline. your eyes which had begun to darken with lust gazed into the blue ones dancing through yours. he looked down at your breasts that were pushed together and almost spilling out before him. with one simple finger trick, he had your bra undone and falling into his lap. 

“think you’re pretty annoying,” Billy grunts.

you gasp, pulling at his hair which makes his eyes wide. he clutches his fingertips around your wrists and stares at you. “i wouldn’t do that, doll.” 

“really?” you tilt your head to the side. “really?” 

Billy and you continue to stare at one another as the song continues to hum from the radio. something shifted in the air between you two, and you suddenly found yourself grinding into his hips. Billy grunts against your throat as he kisses bruises into your collarbone.

“Billy!” you gasp his name as your digits intertwine through his curls. 

he’s digging his digits into your hips as he rakes the dress over your body. 

“undo my belt,” he commands you as he rips his t-shirt over his head, leaving his necklace on. your eyes widen with pure adoration for him as his toned exterior is revealed to you. of course you had seen your boyfriend naked countless times before, but it never failed to snatch the breath out of your lungs. 

you’re hurriedly undoing his belt and ripping it from the loops, a loud whistling sound emerging. Billy throws it to the side and you’re using the headrests of the front and passenger seats to push yourself up so Billy can push his jeans down his legs. thick thighs present themselves to you like a fine delicacy, and you could only imagine sucking against his thighs as you left pretty marks on his skin. 

but neither of you had time for that. Billy’s cock was hard and angry, needy to be sheathed inside of you. 

“hips in the air, c’mon. hurry it up.” he takes on a commanding nature. everyone told you Billy shouldn’t talk to you the way that he did sometimes, but they didn’t understand him like you did. you saw the sweet and passionate sides of him when he eventually let them loose around you. 

“okay, okay, gimmie a sec!” You grunt as you peel your underwear off. Billy’s mind runs rampant with the picture of you drunk off his cock, and he’s a needy mess to have you on it. he had to feel something. anything. 

Barely giving you enough time, he’s collecting your hips into his palms and slamming you down on top of his cock, sheathing himself inside of you. both of you groan loudly at the connection, your eyes blissfully wide as Billy wrecks your innocence. 

“c-condom-” you hiss. “you forgot.” 

Billy shakes his head, putting his fingers into his mouth and warming them up before he places them on your clit. he listens to the pitiful hitching of your breath and the drastic moan that slips free when his wet fingertips make contact with your pulsing clit. “haven’t got you pregnant yet. don’t intend to now.” he growls, feeling as you introduce the perfect tempo. as he guides your hips with both hands again, slamming you on top of him, you start to bounce wildly as your fingertips dig into his shoulders. 

“you’ll regret it one day, Hargrove.” you moan. “oh, Billy! Just like that, oh fuuuuuuuc-” you bury your face into the crook of his neck as he thrusts upwards into you. 

“such a tight little thing for me,” he grunts. “being a good little slut for me.” 

whimpering, your teeth gnaw into the tip of his shoulder as the windows fog up in his car. 

growling and mewling like some starved animal, you and Billy find yourselves soon chasing a high. With the neglect of the condom, Billy times it rather perfectly as he pulls out and spills his cum into the wadded up t-shirt he was wearing once before. 

you gasped for air as you fall limp against him, the song has since changed to another hit of today. 

the moon hung high and the stars were running wild in the sky as you peeked through the small back window of the camaro. Billy’s fingertips dug tiny circles into the small of your back as he worked to catch his breath, his eyes closing and head hitting the holstering of the back seat. 

“sometimes i think you sneak me out of my house just so we can screw like bunnies,” you sigh. 

Billy catches your gaze. “that’s not the only thing,” he shrugs his shoulders, reaching for the pack of cigarettes that were on his center console. 

“yeah? what’s the other reason?” you daringly ask him. 

Billy grows silent, instead you inhale the smoke he pushes from between his lips. 

“i don’t know. maybe i like you or somethin’.” he shrugs his shoulders, not stopping the smile that twitched on his face. 

you smile at him. 

“i think you do too,” you wink, caressing his face, feeling as grabbed your hand and shook his head.

[eaymtb]

It's been a while! I am not dead! I do have covid atm though! I'm finally not feeling like warmed over death today, which is nice. So, quick status update: Holy shit it's been a little over 6 weeks since I last actually posted an update about anything, and 7 weeks since the last chapter update. That's.... a lot longer than I realised. Whoops.

This depressive episode is kicking my ass a little, but I'm back on an SSRI now and in regular contact with my amazing doc while we fidget with the dose. Interestingly, I asked to test for either of the MTHFR gene variants since they can impact the body's ability to produce several neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine amongst them), and it turns out that I do have one of them! My levels of folate and B12 are all a-okay though, so it shouldn't be affecting anything, but it's still nice to know. And now I have a few more things to keep an eye on with my annual blood tests. We had a really interesting discussion about it, too, because she didn't actually know how only having one variant would affect things, and she was quite excited about the research she'd been reading up on before my appointment relating to the psychiatric effects of the gene and it's variants. Have I mentioned she's amazing?

Anyway, I caught covid at my last check up where we agreed to the first SSRI dose increase, which is mostly annoying because at the start of the month I was finally feeling well enough to actively try a new thing: Depression Tetris! And I came down with symptoms on the exact day (Friday 9th) that I had planned with a friend to go to a park and find somewhere to sit and do some writing, ha. They have a goal to go for a walk somewhere new that they haven't been at least once a month but they can't drive, while I can and I want to go out new places as both exposure therapy for the agoraphobia and change of environment for the depression, plus outside in fresh air and (hypothetical atm given the weather) sunshine. The universe really said sit your arse back down, though, lol.

I haven't really added any pieces for the past 5 days for obvious reasons, which I'm a little sad about, which is also actually a good sign, since I want to add more tetris pieces, which is also why I'm trying this method in the first place. I can't make myself want to do things in general, but I can make my brain crave shiny little coloured-in squares that I have to fit together in such a way that no two touching pieces are the same colour, which is hilarious. Brains, man.

Anyway, all that to say: I'm okay! Still in a depressive episode but working on it in a variety of ways and I'm incredibly lucky to have some really good supports. Hopefully I'll get back to writing soon. I have at least one little empty 1x1 square I have to fill in where nothing else will fit, after all.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

do you have any advice for writing long fics/series??? I have so many I've been wanting to write but the last times I've tried I always lost motivation, so now I'm scared to try 😭

Ohhh, been there. Okay, so I've done it two different ways, and odds are high that you've only tried one, so maybe whichever you haven't done before, do the other?

Method 1: Write it all, then post one chapter at a time only once complete. That's how I wrote my early multi-chapter series. I was so worried I'd get bored or stuck and bail before I did what I wanted to do, I made sure all of my chapters were written before I posted anything. If you're addicted to the serotonin of feedback, that's fine, find a writing buddy who will read your WIP so you're still getting some of that spark along the way, but don't put up anything public until you're all done and ready to rock and roll.

Side note: This is also a pretty good way to build a bit of a following on AO3. If you promise people up front that everything IS done and written and it WILL finish and you give them a regular posting schedule—a chapter every Tuesday or whatever—they'll subscribe and happily follow along because there's no risk. Short of you getting hit by a bus or something, I guess.

Method 2: If, however, you've tried the above and that's where you're getting stuck, do the opposite. Maybe sketch out some rough notes to yourself on where you want to end up with the fic, just so you know you're heading in the right direction, but then let go of the need for control a little and post as you go along. That's what I had to do for my two biggest fics because they took literal years. Actual literal years, plural. The fear of leaving things dangling might be more motivating than you realize.

Some things to remember:

It's okay to start small. Like, it's tempting to dive right into a mega-sprawling epic of a fic with 100 chapters or whatever, but it's also okay to... not... do that. Try a fic with a few chapters instead. Build that muscle. Get used to writing beyond oneshots. Pre-built structures like 5+1 might help you build that muscle as well.

Sometimes you just gotta... do it. Like, that sucks, I know, it would be nice if there were an easy trick, believe me. Like, the fic I am procrastinating on is not a long one, but it's kicking my butt and it's so frustrating. But I'm getting it done a literal line at a time—for every ask I answer, I make myself hop over into my doc and write another line. Some nights I'm literally messaging Audrey like "I just want to get one sentence done before bed." And I stack one sentence after another until it's done.

It's okay to procrastinate a little. Emphasis on little. It sounds like you get stuck, procrastinate some, then don't stop procrastinating, but it's okay to give yourself a little break. My two biggest fics spawned so many other fics because I would hop from the chapter I would be working on to my distraction fic... until I needed to be distracted from that fic and then my chapter was the distraction!

It's also okay to combine the above methods. For Nature and Nurture, my first big fic, I used Method 2 allllll the way up to, like, the last three chapters or so. I was so scared of fumbling it all at the end that I switched to Method 1 for the last chunk, made myself write it ALL, and didn't post anything else until it was all written.

You can do it!!

[lemedstudent2021]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💜💜

was not expecting this sweet of a surprise in my inbox lol

*conveniently forgets everything that gives me serotonin* ;-;

I. my identity. unusual choice i know, but the building blocks that make me me give me peace, warmth and joy. they provide comfort, promise me betterment, prove to me time and time again that there is so much beauty to life, if only we have the eyes to see it and the heart to embrace it. they also occasionally give me grief but such is life XD

things like being a muslim alhamdulillah first and foremost, a hijabi, proud jordanian, quasi-polymath, socially anxious (coffee) bean...

II. knowledge and its pursuit. for as far as i can remember ive always been drawn to the known and unknown of anything and everything. libraries are my safe spaces, books are my friends, and scholarliness is my goal. truly the fastest way to my heart is by infodumping while i sip my tea and watch your face light up with every word <3

III. the basic necessities of life like food, sleep, and existing. doing literally nothing (and occasionally dissociating in the process lol) is one of the best things one can do. simply be. that and eating my feelings and sleeping to unholy hours. #medstudent #godimsotired

IV. as much as people terrify me sometimes, there is something unmistakable about the innate desire and longing for human connection. meaningful and deep relationships with friends and family mean the world to me, and their happiness is equally, if not more so, mine :') (yall keep me sane thank you for your service xxx)

V. im leaving the last one slightly ambiguous ish, becasue i can never tell when and where my (temporary) new found infatuations with quite literally anything take me. as of this week, im sliding back to my hades & persephone rabbit hole of the beauty of life and death as seperate entities, and then intertwined as one. *sob*

a while back i was absolutely enamoured with botany and traditional chinese medicine (i blame maomao) and before that embroidery, psycholinguistics, medieval torture devices and execution methods and japanese mythology. fun times :)

[morshrill]

Oh, what kind of music do you like listening to? Or is your taste kinda all over the place? Your other method of calming down is interesting, more so the pleasure you get from it; is it like a rush of serotonin?

I'm glad to hear the love is reciprocated !! It's much appreciated! and ofc, anytime Mor!

I typically end up shutting down, as silly as that seems! I get overwhelmed easily and taking a step back and just shutting my brain down for a little feels like the best escape from big scary emotions haha, though I admit that's not the best method! I also just kinda cry sometimes, I find that even if I feel sillier then a clown in a supermarket it does help.

My music is all over the place, like you described, but I enjoy rock music. My darling occasionally sends me music to listen to, so I try to listen to those as frequently as possible. She mainly likes electronic music, which isn’t a genre I’m used to, but I listen to it for her. 

Shutting down isn’t silly, and it’s something I do frequently, too. If it helps you process overwhelming emotions, then I’d say it’s a net positive. Same with crying—I find crying to be a good outlet, even if I struggle to cry. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to how you cope. Your coping mechanisms are supposed to help you, so the opinions of others should be rendered obsolete. 

“Your other method of calming down is interesting, more so the pleasure you get from it; is it like a rush of serotonin?”

When it comes to the coping mechanism I mentioned in my previous response, I can’t describe it, but it feeds into this victim mentality I’m guilty of having. Indulging in suffering is much easier than triumphing over it. 

I hope you are doing well today. Thank your for the ask.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Get Back Up Again

It took me a while to watch this one for the first time (which I did like a month or two ago), can't exactly explain why, though it did probably have something to do with the fact that I've never seen Trolls. Sure, I've seen a couple of scenes from it, and I know the characters and the basic plot, but I've just never actually sat down to watch it! And the only original song I knew from the movie was Can't Stop The Feeling (because it'd be basically impossible to not have heard it by this point). This song is really good though (originally written by Pasek & Paul apparently, which explains a lot), and Voiceplay's video for it (released in May 2018) is very fun as well, so let's get into it!

Some person called "Leo" is credited for the intro animation, so shoutout to Leo! The little character designs are so cute, and I will get to each one individually.

The up-and-down hand movements that J is doing at the start of the video, they intrigue me and I swear he (or possibly another VP member) has done very similiar hand motions in a different video. Does stuff like that just come with being an acapella singer or something?

Earl is Poppy, the main character of the movie! He looks good in pink honestly

Eli is Branch, the secondary protagonist (I guess?) of the movie

J None is Guy Diamond (a troll covered in silver glitter) and he's styling!

Geoff is Biggie, one of the biggest troll characters in the movie, who has a pet worm/best friend called Mr Dinkles (yes, that is what Geoff is holding)

And Layne is Smidge, who apparently (I looked it up on the Trolls Wiki) is one of the shortest trolls in the movie (ironic considering Layne is the tallest of the group), and is female, but speaks with a deep, masculine-sounding voice (trust Layne to give himself a comedic casting choice 😂 (this was his arrangement, and he and Geoff collaborated on the video))

1, Earl seems Confused by Layne's percussion-making method. 2, those chairs look really soft and comfy. And 3, great face Geoff 😆

Obligatory acknowledgement of J 'farting' glitter. I'm guessing it's a thing that Guy Diamond does in the movie

Okay so Geoff's hair does seem basically the same as it does in the 80s Cartoon Themes video (I was wondering), it might just be styled ever-so-slightly differently or something (also I really love his smiles in this video <3 )

Did J already own that necklace or was it bought just for this video?

Eli is Confused and Tired 😂

I don't think this is just a lowering of the lighting in this shot here, I think it's also got lower saturation levels I believe? (Possibly a post-production effect).

(Also Geoff being pretty without even trying (again))

"cause I know that I'm really really really gonna be OKAY!"

And then Eli, J, and Geoff's reactions 😆

Shoutout to Kathy (Geoff's wife) for doing the puppeteering in this video!

Geoff seems to be having fun anyway!

Love the subtle camera shake on the "if you knock knock me over, knock knock me over" line, in time with the knocking!

"Hug time!" "Hug time! I love hug time! Hug time's my favourite.

Also shout to the end card with the guys playing with the dolls/puppets, and "thank you to the Patrons for supporting this...craft project" 😂

This video is definitely a serotonin booster, both visually and musically!

[foibles-fables]

hey i was hoping for some advice on how to stop planning fics and actually START?? like i feel like i have to plan out every chapter and then just feel paralysis at actually starting at the fear of the fic derailing into something else (which is part of the beauty ik) any advice helps :’(

HELLO NONNY! First of all, totally flattered you'd want to come here for advice. Second, gosh, yes, this is one of the most difficult parts of fic writing. Happy to try to help out, though this might get long!

So I see that you're primarily concerned with multi-chaptered/longfics here! It's been a minute since I've hunkered down to work on one of those myself--but this is a good warm-up question for me, as I've got a couple current ideas (including original work) that would necessitate more long-term planning.

When you're writing and publishing a longfic, you pretty much have three options, each with a varying degree of rigidity.

Plan your entire fic (however you like--outline, flow chart, etc.!) and finish writing it in its entirety before posting on a schedule per chapter. Benefits here include the ability to let your plot/characters grow organically without being bound to something you've already posted. No worries about a plot "derailing" if you're able to course-correct something earlier in the midst of it! Also, you're able to write in genuinely any order in this case. Downside, though, is that motivation can be a struggle here.

Plan your entire fic roughly and start writing at the beginning. Give yourself a few chapters of leeway (maybe 3-4 ahead of posting??) and post on a schedule while working on future chapters. You'll still be able to account for organic growth, here, but you are more bound by items that have already been posted. A good plus, though, is the motivation you might get from readers along the way.

Plan your entire fic, start writing at the beginning, and post chapters as they're finished without leeway. GREAT for feedback, but it's super easy to get yourself stuck as new ideas develop.

For an original work with the goal of publication, obviously, I'd use option one. For fic writing and posting on AO3, though, I'd make it my goal to pursue option 2. It's a really nice balance of keeping yourself and your plot on track but also picking up some sweet serotonin along the way.

Regardless of your posting method, it also seems like you'd benefit from hearing how I plan longfics in general. Using a typical indentation format, I start with the bare-bones structure of the plot to help determine chapter breaks (which can change as the actual writing occurs) and overall actions. Once I have the main ideas spelled out, I'll go back and fill out each section into as much detail I have in mind at the time. This will definitely vary chapter section by chapter section. Some ideas will already be specifically developed! Others might stay bareboned.

From there, I head to the opening chapter, as I personally write in order (you might not!). I'll fill in the chapter section with as much detail as possible (scenes, dialogue, in-depth prose notes, etc.) to make actually writing out the chapter as easy as possible for me. Using an excerpt from one of my longfic outlines, here's how a ready-to-be-written chapter section might look:

also note how messy they actually are lol

Once I have that level of detail done, I'll write the chapter. It really helps because while the planning was still "planning," it becomes a lot easier to translate the Plan into actual prose. After the chapter drafted and then finished, I'll move on to the next section and flesh it out exactly the same way before writing. Rinse and repeat!

That way, I have my overarching framework all good to go, but the little living details are the ones that can change as the work itself is completed! I think it's a happy medium between rigidity and natural flow, in which neither really impedes the other.

Bottom line, though? Best way to start writing is to just start. Easier said than done, and something that's really hard for my brain to accept as well. It's a universal struggle. But when you find the tools that work for You, it's fantastic!

God this got so much longer than I intended. Apologies and thanks if you sat through all of this without your eyes glazing over. As for me, I'm off to keep agonizing over planning and actually starting various one-shots, lmao.

[duckymcdoorknob]

You ask, I deliver

Lee kaveh headcanons (with some relevant but indulgent ler sumeru headcanons) to quench the thirst of you fucking dweebs on your loser app

-consistency is predictable, and consistency is boring. Consistency, more than anything, is EASY.

-kaveh is given no such thing.

-alhaitham doesn't switch spots very sporadically. He has reason, there's a method to his madness. He usually just goes for the universal "default" spot, that being sides. It's just the easiest to latch onto, and already basically at hand level. However, "I wonder what he'll do if I try THIS?" is not an uncommon thought for him to have. As a self-respecting scholar, it is his responsibility to test every spot and method that he can.

-alhaitham is very deadpan. Obviously entertained by this, but very deadpan. He will not often crack a smile, but you can see the amusement in his eyes. He teases by stating things in such a deadpan voice that one could only interpret them as casual observations, if they weren't so OBVIOUSLY meant to rile kaveh up (he also does this so goddamn much canonically, it's funny as fuck).

-it gets to kaveh way too much how clinical alhaitham is about the whole affair. He acts as if it's an academic case study. The absurdity of this dissonance is unbearable. Alhaitham is skilled at his craft. Alhaitham is uncannily skilled at getting to kaveh in any scenario- this one is not different.

-keeps a pretty consistent pressure unless he's trying something. In the medium of firm and light, a tiny bit on the lighter side. He is a scribe, after all. His hands are efficient and skilled by nature, and the almost slightly swoopy technique he uses to write is reflected in this

-kaveh is absolutely fucking done with this man

-this is dumb as fuck but I imagine alhaitham absolutely fucking kaveh's shit up and casually while kaveh is like hysterical giggling alhaitham just says "clearly you don't own an airfryer." in that serious smug tone

-anyways, kaveh doesn't get to get used to alhaitham's unbearable methods!

-because faruzan is the big sister of everyone in sumeru, and she is a mythic bitch about this particular thing that she does. To kaveh. (I'm starting to feel like the coherency of my writing is suffering greatly from my complete avoidance of even insinuating the t word, much less saying it. If you get confused too bad such a thing would never happen to me and therefore cope I suppose)

-faruzan is very much the type to just do sharp scribbles in one spot really fast before moving on the the next and doing the same over and over. She will act very indignant, and make comments about how rude he is for laughing at her. He needs to respect his elders.

-Layla is much shyer, and is like, unbearably light with it. Which ends up being kind of nice unbearable, especially because of those claw covers she has on her fingers. She's very sweet.

-her teasing is mostly unintentional. She'll giggle along with him and comment on how nice his laugh is shyly. She's just trying to be nice, bless her. She gets a bit flustered by it, but she understands needing emotional catharsis as much as anyone, and is willing to overcome that because it clearly gives kaveh a huge serotonin burst and lowkey her as well.

-Tighnari likes to pretend he's exasperated sometimes when he does it, but it's always a sort of joke they're both in on. He's very fond, and it's easy to see in his face. His claws are weapons of mass destruction and a good incentive for teyvat to implement a Geneva convention (so that the fatui can immediately violate every rule on there like it's a bucket list)

-Cyno is the opposite. He's goofy through and through. Not the hyuck guy. He has never been the hyuck guy. Do not sue me Disney. Steamboat Willie says acab.

-anyways Cyno gets a bit quirked up with the sauce. He'll tell his shitty jokes and then be like "see? I knew you found them funny!"

-Cyno and Tighnari are double trouble, but also double argument. They will banter with each other the whole time they're. Interacting. With kaveh. That sounded like an innuendo. I promise it is not. Genshin impact has not yet implemented gay sex. Hopefully they get around to that in natlan. It really breaks my immersion.

-wanderer is just mean about it, end of story. He's literally the worst. Ruthless, ruthless motherfucker

-nahida is very soft and gentle, and has lots of words of affirmation and compliments. Her sincerity is palpable and she's very sweet

-collei mostly just watches from the sidelines when Cyno and Tighnari fuck shit up. She's wary of touch, but when she's in control she's okay with it. If she ever cautiously decides to participate, kaveh will try not to squirm. Even Cyno and Tighnari will ease up a ton so that he doesn't squirm too much. The entirety of sumeru is constantly in kahoots to help collei grow and be more comfortable with shit, so kaveh (and byproxy Cyno and Tighnari) have half a mind to immediately become a million times more conscious and careful of their actions and reactions because collei is being brave enough to participate in a physical bonding activity and they want to make sure they reinforce that positively

-Dehya can and will laugh at him. She's also got claws, so I guess genshin's character design team just fucking hates kaveh or something

-dunyarzad might sit on the sidelines and giggle and commentate, casually conversing with Dehya about what's happening. The conversations are definitely meant to tease, so really they're just being tools and having fun with him by acting all casual

-Candace is more of a "hold his arms up" kind of person than actually commenting much or getting in on the action, but she's also very careful. Also there with a quick slip of a hand behind his head right before it smacks into something, or quickly righting him when she sees he's about to fall off of a chair- which she will always, and I mean always see before anyone else. She's just here to make sure nobody dies. Also to be the occasional "...I think maybe you should take a pause. You're going to kill him at this rate." If whoever is getting him isn't easing up- it's usually not really needed, but better safe than sorry

-Nilou won't do it for long (until she is oh so kindly informed that kaveh is a huge softie for it) out of politeness of peoples boundaries. She'll laugh along because she thinks it's sweet. In the nahida and Layla category of just being a sweetheart about it, but she can have a mischievous streak. Never doubt that. She's content to sit by dunyarzad and participate in the banter with dehya and her. They have fun

-Dori is a shit about it, as she is with everything

-"well, can't have my favorite client sad!"

-she's a little bitch but she's fond enough of kaveh. He has a way of tripping and falling directly into people's hearts just by being himself

-it wouldn't be super consistent or anything, but she thinks it's funny enough to occasionally do it. Definitely would sneak pokes just to snicker at the various noises kaveh would make.

-kaveh has the most trouble with genuinely sweet comments and compliments, mostly because he just like genuinely loves them. So much. He can't really hide it because the moment someone says something sweet or affectionate or even mildly complimentary he will just melt. Absolutely nerfed. Like a Zelda boss weak spot.

-alhaitham notices this and considers doing it to fuck with kaveh.

-the result is not what he expects. By that, one means that alhaitham feels feelings about it. Kaveh is just very cute and flustered and soft about it, and alhaitham is used to an argumentative kaveh.

-alhaitham's teasing is usually meant to inflame kaveh, so he's used to expecting kaveh to go red in the face and snap out some variation of "shut up"

-he is not, however, prepared for kaveh's cheeks to instead flush an extremely pleasant rosy pink

-and, instead of the usual flustered, argumentative snapping back, like he does in arguments, for him to just go pliant. His laughs get a little bit breathier and giddy

-alhaitham was not prepared for this

-one has to worry if he may become a man addicted

-kaveh has IMMENSE trouble accepting compliments. A great many of his friends have taken to 'persuading' him of his merits through 'other means'.

-anyways kaveh is insecure about everything because he's kaveh

-his gigantic fucking found family in sumeru are not having it and frankly find it preposterous

-back (between his shoulder blades), wrists, sides, hips. Ribs, but the higher and lower ones are worse, the ones in the middle aren't as bad. Behind his ears isn't too bad, but will incapacitate him HARD. Even more so is the spot where his neck meets the very bottom of his hairline

-really, really likes it

-confused on why alhaitham would participate in such a childish activity so contrary to his normal personality. Decides it's because alhaitham can (and does) use it to win arguments or get kaveh to agree with him, let him have it his way, or do something he refuses to.

-that's a much smaller part of the appeal to alhaitham than kaveh might think.

-his smile is kind of crooked and lopsided and dorky and the corner of his lip quirks up

-very wobbly smile, nose scrunches and eyes do too.

-ears get pink

-subconsciously hugs himself to stop himself from fighting back

-doesn't realize literally everyone who does it to him notices

-very much doesn't realize the correct deductions they draw from that.

Anyways eat up you fucking horses

-🪲

I’m gonna ascend to godhood I’m in SUCH a bad mood and these sent me to SPACE

HIPEFULLY THIS IMAGE LOADS

GEnsin fans come get y’all juice

THANK YOU 🛐🛐🛐