#This is what happens when I get sick
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What the hell happened today lmao
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I'm so fucking tired I've basically been sleeping for the past three days straight. I'm not even kidding. I've been averaging four or five naps a day
#this is what happens when i get sick#just. completely out of spoons. no energy at all#and i get sick way easier than most people and stay sick way longer#its exhausting
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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breaking the sign in two by how hard im tapping it
#im putting the word queerbait in a very tall box on a very tall shelf and none of you get it back until you actually learn the definition#sjonnies edits#queerbait#queer media#queer#queer issues#there are real queerbaits! a lot of them! but i am SO sick and tired of everything that's not explicitly stated be called queerbait#or when the focus in an action movie is not the full romance#would the hero and the girl have kissed in a straight action movie? sure. but even now more often than not that doesn't happen or the focus#is different entirely#the world doesn't change overnight. but you know what helps changing it? watching the media that's implying it! NORMALISING THAT MEDIA!#showing the studios that it isn't popularity suicide. encouraging actors to diversify and give them the respect they need without turning#every conversation an actor playing a queer character into what their sexuality is!#venom#deadpool and wolverine#loki#911#<- which. btw. fucking INSANE thing to say#also queer characters CANNOT be used for queerbait#QUEER CHARACTERS CANNOT BE USED FOR QUEERBAIT#they can be buried! but they CANNOT be used for queerbait because they. are. queer.
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Headcanon time! Since I finally remembered to draw something for one
Whenever Dust isn't well and is just staying in bed, Horror brings him tomato soup. It's close enough to ketchup that it's kinda comforting for him but also just different enough that it doesn't make him spiral into thinking about his past.
In return, whenever Horror is holed up sick in bed, Dust makes him toast. It's the only thing he really knows how to make without burning it but toast is Horror's comfort food so he's always happy for it.
#UTDR#UTMV#Horror Sans#Dust Sans#Horrordust enjoyers this one's a lil bit for you lol#I think of this as platonic but I don't mind how you interpret this#I just think these two would figure out how to take care of each other in small and strange ways#Also projecting my love of toast onto Horror lol#Ever since he got to the castle he's been a bread man#He still loves other foods but that first loaf of bread after the starvation did something to him#When Cross is sick he refuses to rest so they have to get Killer to distract him while they play keepaway with the chores he's trying to do#THEN they can get him to sit down and watch a movie or something#I dunno what happens when Killer's sick I'm still trying to figure that one out#But these two are each other's sick food buddies c:
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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best ending: they talk it out after lewis wins his 8th wdc and we end up with brocedes in each other's lives again. lewis shows up on nico's yt channel. nico is on lewis' insta. vivian dogwalks both of them for letting the divorce last that long. i join the convent because this is clearly a miracle from god and reblog gifsets of brocedes interacting from the chapel. rinse, repeat.
ending we're most likely gonna get: whatever the hell we have now. nico talks about lewis. lewis will say karting is the best time of his career. for two seconds out of the year, lewis will say nico's name. i will sob, rinse, repeat.
worst ending: they shut the fuck up about each other forever. they process the divorce and move on with their lives without each other. i will go on tumblr and reblog angsty web weaves about their relationship and what could've been. i take psychic damage. rinse. repeat.
#inshallah we get the best ending#but we will most likely get the middle one#obviously them processing the divorce is best for each other and like it's none of our business but as a bystander to their fallout#i think i deserve emotional compensation in teh form of knowing exactly what they are to each other#my family is sick of me wailing about them#if you'd've told me last year (casual f1 watcher/knew bits of the lore but didn't really care that much) that i would one day be sobbing#over a rivalry that happened when i was in elementary/middle school i woulda laughed soo fuckin hard#anyway vivian ik you're richer than god and you probably don't need it but i hope you're getting paid 8 figures for putting up w brocedes#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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Why do you think did Anya ask Jimmy to give Curly the meds when she knew what kind of person Jimmy was?
I subscribe to the idea it was because she couldn’t bring herself to force the pills on Curly the same way Jimmy forced himself on to her. That and a mix of it inducing nausea due to the pregnancy. Since she took care of him outside of that one task, I think it was more the sound of him struggling and resisting than disgust with him.
On a personal level, it’s Curly. She still likes Curly and seeing the one person that was just starting to hear her be reduced to such a suffering, vulnerable state. It hurts and it’s frustrating and it’s unfair and despite the med bay being her area, she doesn’t like hearing the pain inside it. She asks Jimmy in my mind because Daisuke is a bit too young, to eager in her mind to help, he could easily and accidentally make it more painful for Curly. Swansea is just to gruff but Jimmy?
Jimmy was Curly’s friend, best friend, closest friend. He knew him and vice versa. Of all of them he should be the most willing and best option to get rid of his pain. I mean, I don’t think it was with malicious intent. She knew how cruel Jimmy could be but Curly said it himself.
“He won’t try any shit with me.”
She clings on to that a bit, despite knowing it’s meaningless now. I think it makes a nice parallel to how Curly’s attempts to help just fell flat or made things a bit worse. She wants him to stop hurting but this way just brings a whole new type of pain. It’s so much more obvious the way Jimmy treats people with Anya cause he has no false pretenses with her. He makes her feel guilty for asking to do one thing similarly to how he guilt trips and twists words with Curly.
#like I don’t think Anya is purposely asking Jimmy so Curly can understand what she was going through#but she’s a nurse she sees the bruises and the way Curly has to look after Jimmy takes care of him#she was also his victim she can see in Curly’s eye the way he stares at Jimmy when he enters the room the way he squirms and whimpers when#she leaves it but she can’t see what happens she doesn’t know what he’s doing and its a sort of ignorance they share#Curly doesn’t blame her but it still hurts and the feeling is mutual and it’s tragic#like people make the characters a bit too purposely mean or malicious when a lot of the things they do are bad responses#to what they are trapped in like do people really think Anya is intentionally sicking her abuser on someone else let alone so vulnerable?#maybe she realizes what could happen but she takes a risk everytime she asks cause Jim gets mad and aggressive with her#maybe in the back of her mind it’s a distraction from her on to him and maybe a part of her she hates likes that it’s no longer her#but it’s never intentional not something she wants or feels a need to happen#mouthwashing#ask#anon#nurse anya#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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I present to you: hypochondriac jack
#living on the streets means you don’t get the luxury of being afraid of germs#so like what if??#when jack is able to be vulnerable and cared for and attended to when he’s sick#it’s the biggest deal in the world to him#his immune system must be great but it’s 1899 anything can happen#i just#i really love the idea of jack having access to better hygiene#and being absolutely high maintenance#davey has had experience taking care of an overdramatic sick person before (les)#ofc he’d pamper jack without question#i reject jack being a 3-1 soap guy#i embrace him needing to be pampered#anyways!#newsies#livesies#davey jacobs#jack kelly#javey newsies#sick comfort#art#newsies art#boyfriends#character art
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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What if i was a monster and you were a human and for all reason we should be opposed to the other yet fall in love anyways? What if it actually happens exactly Because you are mortal and i undead? What if we had an eye for finding the cracks in everyone but only recognized it in ourselves with eachother? What if i couldnt stand dragging you down to the hell of my nature so i free you to live without the burden of remembering what its like loving me?
What if you loved me for my power, how unfathomably supernatural i was, but then met me for the first time again 50 years later as an obedient servant and you still couldnt take your eyes off me? What if i was above you then below you and intrigued you just the same?
What if we loved and hated eachother and continue to do both because its all just different ways to say “you have a hold on me i cant shake?”
Because what if you became the first person to understand me as a being beyond the roles ive lived? What if I am not just the devil, master, slave, servant or hurting child i once was, but all of it and more, wholly incapsulated under the title of being your lover?
#HOLD MY HAND. DO U SEE THE LONG TERM SLOW BURN VISION HERE.#I GET SOOOOOO GIDDY THINKING ABOUT IT#armand being obsessed with breaking people down#honing in on weak points to get the conclusion he wants#and daniel doing the exact same thing as a journalist. And theyre both very successful#what happens when the curious beautiful boy becomes a snappy sick old man unphased by your power#and prods relentlessly. The surface level parameters of the original dynamic are gone and still#You love him#iwtv#interview with the vampire#devils minion#daniel molloy#armandaniel#armand
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can i ask why ur getting the surgery? /gen curious /no hate
i am getting a bi(lateral)salp(ingectomy) bc i never want to be pregnant or be a parent!
Even if i do change my mind later about the parent thing (not super likely but things can change, sure) theres noooo shortage of single parents lmao
And even if I never End Up In The Circumstance(s) Where I COULD Become Pregnant in my life, I'd want the peace of mind anyway...
I've always felt disgusted that this is something my body is capable of. I want it to be MY body and not a site and vessel for potential tragedy in any direction. And I want it to be something permanent and not dependent on access to services/medicines or even laws!!! Dis is a gender affirming surgery for me honestly...
#anonymous#skunk mail#in the past ive always thot about how id obvs immediately get an abortion if anything happened#but along with living in texas idk#like. id obvs get it but just the thought of ever being pregnant in my life for even a little bit makes me feel sick.#idk what id do. what a betrayal by the shell im in that would be.#my mind wld be frayed forever. ive had nightmares abt it. i dont think i cld ever Enjoy Anything if i was always worried about BC failure.#pregnancy is so unnerving to me i dont even like seeing or being around pregnant animals especially when ppl start calling them Mommy or#Mama it just makes me extremely uncomfortable.#my life was destined to be tragedy as soon as I was born in this body‚ i might as well do one of the only things I can do to ease the horro#of it#ive literally had my day ruined by just remembering its something my body can do. it makes me so miserable#it feels so disgusting etc#without the surgery my life would continue to feel like its counting down to inevitable tragedy#whether it be by Scare or Assault#and why wld i continue to live my life like that if its always going to be unwanted!!!!! need permanent solution and not just a bandaid#its not like the opportunities come up often but honestly ive even been avoiding sex bc of this. id rather just not ever do it at all#than risk anything
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I finished The Untamed in a week...
Do I win an award?
Or Do I need therapy?
(Is it better or worse if you know I watched 33 of those eps in the last 3 days)
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Nothing is stronger than the bond between a girl and a piece of media they brushed off 10 years ago that they now realized is the greatest thing ever made
#In this context 'girl' refers to everyone this has happened to#I've already told the story about how I watched half of the first ep of khr and turned it off cuz I thought tsuna annoying#I did it with mairuma too I saw it coming out and just ignored it cuz I thought the concept was generic#And only picked it up when the manga was updating#Fukimono I read like up to when they go to the yokai world and never got to it till I got super sick actual YEARS afterwards#Sad to say but blue exorcist technically counts cuz I read 5 chapters ans stopped but it's cuz I got busy its not cuz I STOPPED liking aoex#I never stop liking blue exorcist this is for life#Jeweler richard anime I got to ep 6 and was convinced for a while it was mid and yeah the anime is but the manga/LN is amazing#I did this with a ton of vocaloid artists too#Let's not bury the lead (I say as bury the lead)#This post is actually cuz I've been binge reading yohaji#I have vague memories of looking at it so fucking long ago and thinking the first chapter was vulgar but once u get passed that hump wow#It's so good#I'm gonna make a separate post about hmmgm#Tell me what yall did this to thanks#Khr#Hitman reborn#Mairuma#mairimashita! iruma kun#fukigen na mononokean#fukimono#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#Jeweler richard#yohaji#Fuck what's the full yohaji title#Oh well
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