#maybe she realizes what could happen but she takes a risk everytime she asks cause Jim gets mad and aggressive with her

[dykedvonte]

Why do you think did Anya ask Jimmy to give Curly the meds when she knew what kind of person Jimmy was?

I subscribe to the idea it was because she couldn’t bring herself to force the pills on Curly the same way Jimmy forced himself on to her. That and a mix of it inducing nausea due to the pregnancy. Since she took care of him outside of that one task, I think it was more the sound of him struggling and resisting than disgust with him.

On a personal level, it’s Curly. She still likes Curly and seeing the one person that was just starting to hear her be reduced to such a suffering, vulnerable state. It hurts and it’s frustrating and it’s unfair and despite the med bay being her area, she doesn’t like hearing the pain inside it. She asks Jimmy in my mind because Daisuke is a bit too young, to eager in her mind to help, he could easily and accidentally make it more painful for Curly. Swansea is just to gruff but Jimmy?

Jimmy was Curly’s friend, best friend, closest friend. He knew him and vice versa. Of all of them he should be the most willing and best option to get rid of his pain. I mean, I don’t think it was with malicious intent. She knew how cruel Jimmy could be but Curly said it himself.

“He won’t try any shit with me.”

She clings on to that a bit, despite knowing it’s meaningless now. I think it makes a nice parallel to how Curly’s attempts to help just fell flat or made things a bit worse. She wants him to stop hurting but this way just brings a whole new type of pain. It’s so much more obvious the way Jimmy treats people with Anya cause he has no false pretenses with her. He makes her feel guilty for asking to do one thing similarly to how he guilt trips and twists words with Curly.

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : From friend to boyfriend

Author note : I’ve got nothing to say I’m fucking loser just enjoy it ♡ For my page setting I got the inspire from two blogs @/tokrev-roses and @/Tokyo-fukushu (go to see them they’re incredible they make such a wonderful jobs ♡ and if you guys saw it well I didn’t mention you because I didn’t want to bother you 👉🏻👈🏻) I didn’t know if it would work but I tried. 

Warning : Swearing - mention of fight - child it might be dangerous to be a thug so don’t do it I guess ?

Masterlist

Manjiro Sano - 佐野 ( さの ) 万次郎

I can see him dating his childhood friend, I mean the man actually likes them protecting them ? He would even get extra attention if he is dating you so why don’t give it a shot ?

Obviously your relationship didn’t start like this (I mean not entirely)

You were living quite close to him I mean like on his neighborhood and one day you just saw him walking around probably getting back from school. A lollipop in his mouth, his hand behind his head the little boy was walking as if he was ruling the city (he might but you haven’t known yet), as a child you were kinda curious to know him since he seemed to be around your own age.

So you walked to start a conversation with him, as expected the little boy was pretty chill about everything so it was easy to talk with. You two talks about everything and anything at the same time until the little boy’s tummy was yelling for foods, laughing at his state you decided to buy him something since he was your very first friends.

After asking him what he wanted you moved into a Konbini

That you discover that his favourite was Taiyaki and Dorayki

You two started to hang on frequently (every day to be honest, each time he saw you leaving school he either ran into you or yelled to go home with him). People sorting to think that you two were in love with each other even though you both claimed that you were friends (even part of the same crew).

You even started to go into the same martial class as Baji, knowing it was his grandfather ruling everything, so you could spend more time with your new friends and get to know him more.

He never failed to amaze you, and took great pleasure of doing so many techniques just to see you getting all impressed.

He also enjoys seeing you working hard to do the same techniques he does previously

Two buddies.

That was your label for a long time until you started to notice your own reaction around him.

It was pretty silly at first. When he was too close to you, you felt your cheeks coloured in red. When he was smiling at you you couldn’t help but smile at him too, you discovered you were weak for his pouty face. Also whenever he was touching you (brushing his hand at yours or even touching like when he is taking your wrist to look at him so he would pout to have his precious Dorayaki he was craving for).

Honestly you just thought that you were starting to be a fan or something which was a little bit embarrassing.

But nothing to be worried about

Then, You’ve started to feel that it was maybe more than just a friendship or at least you were loving him more than you should.

You realized one day that you were in love with him, when he decided to kick your bullies’ ass without telling you. Like you once told him about those teenagers who were bullied you and that you’ll work even more harder so you could kick their ass. But it wasn’t on Mikey’s taste like all he heard was « Y/N is in danger I must protect them » and so did he. He walked into your school looking for those bastards.

Once he found them it was already over for them, he quickly kicked them off and as expected they weren’t as strong as they thought they were just in groups. What he didn’t expect, was you looking at him beating the shit out of your bullies.

The way he was beating each of them, how he was easily taking them down, the way he was fighting for you to protect you. It was the last thing you needed to fall deeply in love with him.

Even if he was still a little boy, his aura was quite something from behind (though he is quite small) he looked like an adult. A true leader.

You couldn’t think more about it because he turns in head into your direction raising his brow « what are you doing ? Let’s go I’m hungry y/n » he then smiled at you.

During your walk into the closest Konbini he was acting as if he didn’t previously fight against teenagers while still being well a little boy. You two were as usual talking about everything and anything until you found the shop, then he proceed to whine about not having money to buy Taiyaki or Dorayki.

Since you couldn’t refuse anything at him when he was all pouting you proceeded to buy his favourite foods

But being the young baby you were you didn’t understand that all the feelings you were feeling, how you cheeks tend to be red around him, how nervous you were when you walked together, how worried you were sometimes when you saw him his covering with some bloods (even though you knew it wasn’t his).

It took you one year to actually understand that you fell in love with him, and that you might screw your relationship because of that.

In fact when you finally aged up to go into junior high school, you started to have other friends than Mikey (it doesn’t mean you didn’t talk to him anymore quite the contrary). And those friends were particularly interested on one thing « crush ».

You’ve never heard about crush before, I mean you were aware of the attraction between two people but as a child you weren’t interested in him especially since your close friends (Mikey for exemple) didn’t give a damn about it, so you did the same.

Talking with those new friends made you realized that you had a crush on your best friends

Things started to get weird between you two

Cause whenever Mikey was around too and a little bit too close to you, you started to freak out afraid that he might discover your secret. So you tried your best to be a little bit distant with him

Which honestly broke his little heart, he kept wondering « why Y/N isn’t walking with me anymore ? » Why aren’t we sharing foods anymore »

It didn’t help that he started to really miss you, and was craving for well, attention from you

He never realized it but he was craving for your praise or approval. Like whenever you were sipping over him being so cool, he couldn’t help but to flex his chest with a smirk looking at Draken (as if he didn’t give a shit about your praise)

Also he was starting to feel a little bit nervous ? Everytime you were riding his bike and put your hand around his chest or waist for support he couldn’t help but feel nervous and relax at the same time.

One time when you were daydreaming as Mike was driving you home after school, you nuzzled your head on the crook on his neck. Smelling his smell, and his warmth you were starting to feel sleepy. You didn’t notice it, but when you put your head on his neck he started to shiver, his ears were a little bit red too, his heart was beating like hell.

He didn’t expect you to get so comfortable around him, but was he concerned ? Absolutely not, he even enjoyed it knowing you were so good with him

But then it happens, he started to dream about you. Every night he didn’t spend on thinking about his brother and what he could do to protect him, prevent his death, his night was decimated to you.

One time you two were driving together talking about everything, on other time you two were sharing some foods on the beach his hand around your waist as you were putting your head on his shoulder.

He even once dreamt about you two kissing, like you were on a picnic date together he did some funny face to make you laugh and just feel it. He wanted to kiss you, and being the blunt guy he is he just put his hand on your cheeks and then kiss you. To his surprise you hug him as one of your hand moved to his hair so you could kiss him more.

He woke up that night his face all read, his index on his lips (as if he could still taste your lips on his).

Those dreamt kept coming again and again

So he knew something was wrong so he talked to Draken who just looked at him as is he was dumbest man of the world « Mikey you’re just in love with Y/n »

What do you mean just in love ? He was the god damn leader of a gang, he was Mikey the invicible and yet he falls in love.

How he wishes his brother was still here to help him

Because he didn’t any idea how to handle this ?

The real issue according to Draken was to know if you were interest in such relationships especially since you two know each other since you were a child. They were a probability according to him that you weren’t interested on him but according to his sister Emma they were a high probability that you were in fact into him. She couldn’t prove it though.

It took him so many days until one day he had enough, he just wanted to talk about it so he could dream peacefully. No one knows about his « weird » dream and honestly he couldn’t take the risk of Draken knowing about it he wouldn’t see the end of it

So one day he just drives into your school and was waiting for you, to be sure that you won’t avoid him pretending of not seeing him. He parks right into of the gate and was making so noise with his bike. Everything so you would notice him.

Of course you saw him, and since he looked straight into your eyes, you knew you will go home with him (not that it bothers you quite contrary but it was starting to be more and more difficult to keep a straight face around him)

So you didn’t try to escape or anything afraid he might be sad or worst angry against you, and you moved behind him on his bike so he could drive you.

Much to your surprise, he wasn’t driving you home, in fact he was driving into that forest where he kissed you in his dream (something told him he must go here to succeed so). Which was starting to confuse you like where were you going ?

Knowing when he got something in mind you couldn’t fight you just decided to wait until he would park to confront him about it.

But again you couldn’t manage to say anything, as soon as he parked his bike he was already walking into that spot the one he saw in his dream to confess. So you had no choice but to follow him knowing you couldn’t get home until he decided so

When you two reached the spot Mikey was looking for, he finally turned into your direction looking right at you.

He looked very serious, he got that face you know ? The one he got when he was ruling a Toman’s meeting. You got Mikey the invisible in front of you, and even if you were used to see him leading you still were surprised (and a little bit scared) when you were confronting the leader and not your childhood friends.

Unconsciously you gulped which Mikey noticed and couldn’t help but chuckled a little bit

« You know it’s not funny to make fun of me Mikey »

« You’re just too tensed it’s funny »

« No it’s not *sigh* you’re just so serious right now what’s happening ? »

« Are you afraid of me y/n ? »

« Uh ? What are you talking about of course not »

« Then why are you avoiding me so much ? »

« I-I’m not I just »

« Don’t lie to me Y/N »

« I’m not I swear I’m not avoiding you Mikey I just got so many things in mind I-i’m sorry if I hurt you in anyway » (of course you couldn't just straightly tell him that you weren't seeing him as much as before because your heart decided to beat like a damn drummer each time you were closed to him)

« Well that’s good then »

« Good ? »

« Yeah I couldn’t scare the person I love it wouldn’t make sense »

« (…) Wait what ? »

Your heart was beating so hard against your chest, you’re face was all read you didn’t even notice you high-pitched voice.

All you notice was Mikey holding his stomach with both of his hands, laughing so loudly tears rolling on his chest, his smile was so big.

Damn, I wish I could see him more like this was all you could think at that moment

When he finally calmed himself he just looked at you smiling and proceed to repeat himself « You hear me y/n I’m in love with you »

Before you could even realized, you ran into his chest holding him for dear life. As Mikey didn’t expect you to literally jump into his arm he couldn’t managed to catch and to keep his balance at the same time, so you just ended up laying on the floor, you on the top of him. He didn’t mind though, having you close to him relax him more than he could realize.

As you were mumbling something against his chest, he didn’t have any choice but to stand up a little bit while holding you so you two could be face to face. He then asks you to repeat yourself so he could hear you two.

« I love you too Mikey »

« *chuckle* Guess we’re dating each other now »

He didn’t kiss you that but he promised himself to do things like his dream, he wasn’t worried anymore he got you by his side.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Still The One - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 1)

*Kinda a companion to my series Outside the Rain... basically I didn’t like where I took that series, so I’m “starting over” with this one. It’s a bit of a flash forward about a year or so after where that series left off. You don’t necessarily have to read that series first, but you certainly can. 

I chose the title Still the One based on both song by the band Orleans and Shania Twain because I love both of these songs and I think both fit with where I’m going with this... hopefully. And... One Direction had a song by the same name too... so why not. 

**

“Like a cigarette without a light...like a whippoorwill without the night… a broken buzz that’s lost it’s high, oh baby that’s what I feel like,” you sang softly as you strummed the strings of your guitar.

You wrote down the lyrics into your journal. You had been itching to put this song… your feelings down on paper and you finally got around to doing it. Even though it was something you wanted, needed to do, it was also something that made everything you were feeling real.

It had been well over six months since you and Harry had ended your relationship. Technically, it was worded as a break, but it ended up being an actual breakup. Things had been going fine for the most part, but then 2020 happened and it all became too much. So, naturally, you pushed him away to the point neither of you were happy anymore. You even pushed your friends, the girls in the band you just reunited with, away.

Pushing people away, especially those you are closest with has always been your downfall. Whenever you’re feeling down or sometime of way, you rather deal with it alone because you don’t want to risk bringing down someone else. So, you just… push them away until they don’t want to bother with you anymore. Or they give you an ultimatum and you don’t choose them.

Which is exactly what happened with both relationships. Everything had been going great for you at the time. Your band was back together after you all took some time for solo projects and the fans were looking forward to you going on tour. But then, you injured your knee, putting the upcoming tour in jeopardy, which caused a rift between you and the girls. And it only got bigger and worse from there.

When it came to your love life, you were the happiest you’ve been in a long time. You met your ex, Harry Styles, at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, when you both performed and introduced Stevie Nicks that night. You and Harry had quickly hit it off and with the help of some nudging from your good old Aunt Stevie, you two got together. And you fell fast and hard.

And that’s exactly when things took a turn. With your knee injury, Harry had agreed to stay with you to help you out, but it was also around the same time that he had his own things he needed to do. You felt as if you were holding him back. Then there was a little mishap over an old photo, which eventually got resolved, but it also brought up some feelings that scared you.

So, with the mix of those two that then carried over into the hot mess of 2020, your abort mission instincts kicked it and well… now you’re in the exact place you had wanted all those months ago.

Suffering alone with a broken heart. Just when one injury fully healed, you brought another one upon yourself and honestly you didn’t know which one was worse.

You wrote half of the song when you finally couldn’t take it anymore. You had to stop and walk away. You put down your guitar, closed your journal, and went out to your balcony. You took deep breaths as you soaked up the remainder of the sunlight as the sun started to set and let the wind caress you.

All it would take is for you to pick up the phone and call him… call the girls… reach out and talk to them. But you couldn’t. Too much has been said and there’s been too much time that has gone by for a simple phone to make it all better. Besides, you don’t even know what you would say to any of them at the moment.

Especially to Harry. The second you hear his voice, you know you’d break down and wouldn’t be able to speak. And plus, did you even have the right to call him and expect him to even give you the time of day? You hurt him. You broke his heart just as much if not more than you broke your own. There’s a big possibility that he was over you, that he moved on, or that he was so pissed off at you, he didn’t want to hear anything you had to say.

And if you were being honest with yourself, the latter might actually hurt worse. The past few months, once the overwhelming feeling started to dissolve, you knew you had fucked up and of course, now you knew you royally fucked up.

Which meant Harry deserved to move on. He deserves someone who would choose him and wouldn’t push him away like you did, so with that being said, maybe…maybe it was time for you to let him go.

**

Punch after punch after punch, Harry strikes the punching bag in front of him. Sweat dripped down his face and chest as his arms burned with each hit. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm before going back to his punching fest. No matter how long he did this, no matter how long he went for a run, there was still this pressure built up inside his chest.

An ache that has been there for a while and no matter what he did, it wouldn’t go away. He even tried writing out his pain, but it only made it worse.

“You can’t keep doing this,” Jeff said from the doorway.

“Doing what?” Harry asked, chugging down some water.

“Sulking, feeling sorry for yourself, trying to beat the shit out of that bag to make yourself feel better,” Jeff mumbled.

“I’m working out,” Harry defends.

“That’s what you’re telling yourself, but it’s obvious,” Jeff said.

“What are you talking about?” Harry said, throwing off his boxing gloves.

“I get it, you’re still in love with Y/N and dealing with all of that shit on top of everything else, but avoiding what’s going on is going to work. You need to either try and reach out to her and get closure to whatever the fuck, or you need to move on, because this- this isn’t it,” he told him.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Harry snapped. “Do you think I enjoy feeling like this? I’m fucking tired of it! I thought… I fucking thought she was it for me, but once again I was too fucking blinded about falling in love, about wanting someone to come home to and look where it fucking got me.”

“You’re angry,” Jeff stated. “Let it out.”

“I can’t!” Harry snapped.

“Why not?” Jeff asked.

“Because I can’t be angry with her,” Harry sighed. “That’s the fucking problem. This… all of this shit would be so much easier if her breaking up with me was because she didn’t love or hell even if she cheated on me, but knowing she broke it off because she’s dealing with shit...I wasn’t enough for her. I wasn’t enough to help her. That’s my job… I’m supposed to be there for her… to help her… to protect her, and I fucking failed.”

“Hey,” Jeff rushed over, taking his best friend into his arms. “You didn’t fail. Y/N had her own issues, and she… I don’t know why she pushed you away, but that isn’t your fault.

Harry put his head into his hands, wiping away the sweat and the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I think...I think enough time has passed that you should reach out to her. It might be the best for the both of you,” Jeff suggested.

“I don’t know,” he sighed.

“The Grammy’s are in a few weeks, both of you are going to be there,” Jeff said. “Don’t you think it would be better for the two of you to hash this out before seeing each other for the first time on national TV?”

Harry sighed, knowing he was right, but he still didn’t know if he could bring himself to reach out to you just yet. He didn’t know if he could hear your voice and not break down. However, he knew he would have to face this eventually, but now wasn’t the time.

**

You were currently in your home studio laying down the track of the song you had recently written. You weren’t the best at mixing or producing, but you knew and were comfortable enough to make it sound half decent. At least until you could get some others to come in and work on it.

It took a few goes until you found one you were satisfied with. You downloaded and sent the demo to your crew.

“Okay, that’s enough for the day,” you mumbled.

You turned everything off before heading into your kitchen where you made yourself some food. Just as you were sitting down to binge watch another show, your phone rang. Your heart instantly sank at the sound of the ringtone, still after all this time, you got a bit anxious wondering who was on the other line.

Seeing Stevie’s name across the top brought both a little ease, but also a bit of disappointment.

“Hey, Stevie,” you answered.

“How’s my favorite goddaughter?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” you sighed.

“You don’t sound okay,” she noted.

“I’m just… going through it,” you mumbled. “I’ll be fine.”

“Aren’t we all,” she said. “But I also know that just because you keep saying you’re fine doesn’t mean you are.”

You sighed.

“Look, I’m back in town, why don’t you come over, spend a few days if you’d like, and we can talk through this because if I know you, you’ve been alone this entire time and that’s not good for anyone,” she said.

“How do you always know everything?” You mumbled.

“I’ve been around a long time and lived an interesting life, I know things,” she smirked.

“Apparently,” you sighed. “Fine, I’ll stop by tomorrow afternoon.”

“I look forward to seeing you,” she smiled.

You sighed, ending the call, and wondered what Stevie had up her sleeve.

**

Harry finished up rehearsals before stopping by to get food. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he sat in the car driving to home, well the place he stayed at while he was in LA. Even though he lived there, he couldn’t bring himself to call it home. It felt too empty, too cold for it to ever be a home.

Just as he pulled into his driveway, got out of his car, and carried his bag of food inside, his phone started to ring. Everytime his phone rang, he silently hoped it was you calling on the other line, but if it was, he didn’t know if he could bring himself to answer.

But it wasn’t you, but it was someone close to you… and to him. Stevie. He thought about not answering it, letting it go to voicemail then maybe following up with a text that he’ll call her soon, but he knew it wasn’t fair to let his relationship with her be affected by what happened with you.

“Hey,” Harry answered.

“Hello there, how’s everything going?” She asked.

“It’s going,” Harry laughed. “I just finished up rehearsals.”

“For the Grammys right?” She asked.

“Yep that would be it,” he said.

“How are you feeling about that?” She asked.

“Nervous… and excited, ready to get back on stage,” he answered.

“It’ll be a great night, I’m sure,” she said. “But I know you’re probably busy, but I wanted to let you know I’m back in town and I would love for you to come over for dinner tomorrow night, as long as you’re not busy.”

“Um… I’ve got another rehearsal earlier in the day, but I could stop around for a quick dinner,” he nodded.

“Great, it’s settled, then. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

Harry hung up and sat down with his food. It wasn’t exactly unheard of for Stevie to call him up and invite him over for dinner. They’ve both done that plenty of times, but there was something going on with this particular invite Harry just couldn’t put his finger on.

But whatever it was, he would find out tomorrow.

**

And there’s the first part... not sure how often I’ll update since I am still writing the Sunflower AU series, but I’m going to try and post every other week at first. 

Let me know your thoughts! 

[g-lbertblythe]

Television Heaven // Rafe Cameron

Summary: As the each day passes, you fall for Rafe Cameron solemnly and irretrievably.

A/N: This song made me think of Rafe. Actually, I was thinking of Rafe then I started to listen to this one. Anyway, I was planning on something different but it got out of control. So it has really nothing to do with the song. Hope you enjoy anyway.

It might contain grammar and spelling mistakes cuz it's not my native language.

Every move you made, you made after long considerations, with caution. You questioned every little detail, calculating every probable outcome so strictly, sometimes you end up missing the chance to carry it into action. Just because you didn't want to find yourself in a situation that would make you embarrass and hurt yourself or just would make you feel something, you always choose the right and short way to do things. The logical one but the one no flowers grow. You held yourself back when you encountered with something so beautiful that may change your life, you just refused it, ignored it because you wouldn't know what to do with it. You ran away from anything in sight that may make you an idiot for doing it or make you weak, helpless; therefore you stayed away from anything unsolvable, complicated even. You didn't know everytime you ran away, you come closer the edge of falling apart. You've lived your life so guardedly, you've actually never lived. You come to understand that you never made any effect on your life, never pushed the buttons of the controlling panel of your life although you always tried to keep everything on your control. You didn't make things happened, things only happened to you. The day you became aware of this ugly truth, you also discovered a hole inside you. A hole which you use to suffocate any heavy, intense sensation you might feel. Now, it was the one taking control of you.

Lately, everyone around you was able to notice that something's wrong with you. Changed, you looked like you were fading away. You were disappearing more and more, the each day you realize the things you didn't do or things you wanted to say but never said. Because any time you don't say what you wanna say, you die a little. And you died very. Reminiscing the moments you stole from yourself pushed you an edge and you were standing the very edge, unsteady. One day you lose your balance, you start falling and you've been falling since.

The strong liquor on your lips never dried, you kept sipping one after another. You were never drunk on life before, you might actually get drunk at least. You were tired of filling your glass constantly, you left the glass on Camerons' table and head for the bottle.

"Are you okay?" Kiara asks hesitantly. She noticed something was off recently but she didn't think it will last this long. Normally nothing would affect you so long. But now, something in your eyes was missing and she didn't know what was it. She wanted to help you but didn't know how because you never needed any help before.

"Yeah, " you smiled to her slightly so she could see you can still do it and it was okay. The problem was your lips and your eyes didn't match. "You?"

She just nodded as an answer but the suspicions she had was still there. She didn't want you to be alone so when you refused to hang out at the beach with the rest of the gang, she came with you to the kitchen. But you knew, she wanted to be out there so you should gett her off the hook.

"Hey, " you said to draw her attention. "Let's head outside. I am bored here sitting."

"You sure?" She asked. "You wanted to come inside?"

You smiled, forcibly, lately every smile you gave was like that. "Yes. It turned out to be a bad idea. "

"Okay, " she said when she got up, you had to also. She was ready to walk away before you stopped her. "I'm going to hit the bathroom first. You go. "

She looked at you unsurely. "I'll wait."

You laughed, you were a little lightheaded from standing up swiftly but you didn't drink enough to get drunk yet. But she thought you were. You wished you were too. "I can pee just okay without you waiting, Kie. Tell them I'm coming and determined to drink whatever out there."

Eventually, she ended up leaving you and as soon as she was gone, you let yourself fall on the sofa again. You just needed few minutes before you head outside.

The Pogues have started becoming the huge part of your life not so long ago. You think the awareness hit you just after you met them because they were the most animated people you've met. They were full of spirit although some of their lives weren't always bed of roses, still they managed the find attraction and beauty in other things. You admired them before, now you envied.

The cold hit you as soon as you stepped outside but you liked feeling the breeze on your bare arms. The cold was all you feel anyway. You knew exactly where your friends at, before worrying Kiara any longer, you made your way to them before you saw of a guy that one beer bottle in his hand and the other hand in his pocket. Watching your friend from afar. You pushed the urge of considering if you should go near him or not. You were going because you didn't go so many times before.

"Hey, " you let him know of your arrival. His upper body moves to face you only to see you looking at him with your unfinished bottle on your hand. He turned back to keep watching his sister and the junk she brought along with her. He never ever liked them and he never will but he had to behave because his father told him to. Rafe could only behave himself to a certain extent. He tried to stop himself making their life like hell but failed so many times that you forgot how many times you had to stop himself from hurting your new friends. He was mad at Sarah bringing them into your lives and he was mad at you for joining in this quest and defying him about this matter. You knew Rafe felt like the Pogues were the ones blame for everything that goes wrong in his life and almost anything he does and and he has goes wrong. Yet he was almost sure they were guilty of everything that happened. He had a temper and an addiction that makes it worse. He was confused and lost in so many ways, he was all over the place. Regarding the fact he wants do right by his family, friends and by you, he always and always ends up doing the worst of there is. Rafe's choices was never right and until that moment, you couldn't picture yourself being jealous of him because still, he had a say in what he had done with his life. The kind of life you regret having maybe, however with the pills mostly, he thinks nobody has it right but him.

Rafe was angry at his father, at himself and at you. He was angry at everything. He no longer knew what has left for him anymore. He has never received anything from his father but the disappointment he caused him. The things used to be his now was taken over by others. His part of the island, his so called values, his friends even and you too. Rafe knew you for so long although you were almost distant with everybody, you shared a huge deal of time together. Mostly because you had close family relationships and Kooks hanged out together all the time until his little sister violates that rule.

"Your new friends turned you into an alcoholic, huh?"

He said coldly as possible, still bitter about you stood between him and JJ Maybank and chose him over him. Well, he didn't expect you to be on his side because you would never. You had principles or some kind of shit he lacks, however he didn't expect you to be on his side too.

"My oldest friends couldn't turn me into an crackhead, I thought I might as well try this one." You said, trying to sound as cold as him but you couldn't make it last so long. "You look like you hadn't drown yourself in snow."

He faced you. "Yet."

You smiled looking at the ground and it was a real one. Rafe was frustrated to so many and sometimes to you but you like to talk to him sometimes. All the time, probably. You didn't know exact amount because you started avoiding being around him for too long after sometime in your life. Because you felt your heart pounding in your chest in a way that so weird as he talks to you and looks at you a little too long. You couldn't take the risk of acknowledging that feeling and letting it grow.

"No lectures about how I shouldn't do it?" Rafe asked you surprisedly. Because he wouldn't hear the end of it generally.

"Would you take them seriously?" You said. Somehow, you felt like grinning like a idiot and you didn't stop yourself from doing it. You asked him, one brow lifted up, playfully. Not like the times you fake being playfull. For real.

As you talk to him, he was about to forget he was mad at you. He grinned at your way. "Nah."

And the way he smiled it was so deadly, but he felt so heavenly just like that.

"You see, I've learned my lessons." You say to him and he just shrugges.

Rafe wasn't the type to approach people with an passive aggressive attitude. He would go with full active. But tonight, what he felt the most was so sickening feeling like sorrow but not, destructive one like hatred which he usually feels most. Therefore he looked calmer outside but the war was going inside his mind and his chest. Yeah sometimes even he had one of those melancholic days.

You felt uneasy as he wasn't even looking at your way to answer. It was like you didn't get what you came here for. He just stood there, making you wondering what he was thinking of at the moment.

Your eyes caught JJ, looking worried as his eyes searched for you in the crowd then they found you. He paced towards to you, seeing Rafe, he thought you might need to be saved from him. "Hey, where've you been?" He asked you after he sent brief glares to Rafe and he recieved the same ones in return. "We were waiting for you."

Rafe felt so regarded before by everyone else, he knew you would have gone. Again.

"You coming?" JJ had to ask as you didn't say anything.

"I think I'll stay here for now. " You sounded so clear that although Rafe was surprised that you wanted to stay, he didn't think he heard you wrong.

"Are you sure?" He said and couldn't stop himself from looking at Rafe. Rafe hated that look and the way he was being protective of you like he would hurt you.

"She said she'll stay, didn't she? Beat it."

JJ turned to Rafe, his jaw clenching in anger. "I don't remember talking to you man. " He sounded hostile as possible.

As Rafe took a step towards to him, JJ was also ready to pick up another fight so he didn't hold himself back.

"Hey, hey!" You had to step in and pushed them away from each other but it was hard because they were always so willing to beat each other up.

"I'm tired of doing this again and again. " You left your hand on Rafe's chest but didn't move the one on JJ's, the one also holding the bottle. He didn't have much common sense either but still was better than Rafe. "I'm sorry to ditch you guys but I need to talk to Rafe."

JJ had seconds thoughts but he left you eventually. Rafe went back to being silent and didn't even ask you what was you wanted to talk him although he wondered.

"You had to be the alpha, didn't you?" You asked just to hear him answering.

"This is my house, I am the fucking alpha here." He spits nearly. He tried his everything to not make a scene but it was a hard battle he had fought inside. You couldn't keep your eyes off of him, the way he's so annoyingly silent and the way he looks so mad but hurt at the same time was confusing you. You couldn't know you either hate him or hug him so tightly that he should never feel broken again. You knew all he did, he did it to make everyone around you to love him.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Is this what you wanted talk about?" He stares at you, answering your question bothers him so he doesn't.

"No." You said. No use of him confirming his anger, it was obvious.

"Just cut the to chase then. Your boyfriend waits for you."

You reached for the cup in his hands and it took him by surprise. "He's not my boyfriend." You said as his eyes widened by the sudden move from you, trailed your hand until you threw the cup to the ground. Then they turned to see your expression to figure out what you up to. You were a little too close.

"What are you doing?" He asked slightly angrily, slightly astonishedly. His pink, soft lips moved so beautifully, you had hard times focusing on his eyes.

"I want you to be sober for this."

You smiled as you grabbed his hand that held the cup the seconds ago. He was baffled by your soft touch, something was different about you tonight.

You pulled him with you and he didn't move at first as he tried to make sense of what you are doing. This was as strange to him as it was to you because your remember how many times you avoided being close to him. When you were talking to him casually or you were fighting with him, you felt so uncomfortable when you get too close to him. He was like this stunning and mesmerizing thing you felt his energy all over you but if you touched him or stay too close, you would get burned. How many times you wanted to hug him, hold his hand, pat his shoulders but you just didn't...

"What are you doing?" He asked, you had a loose grip on his hand and as you two moved swiftly, he was scared that it might break off. "Where are we going Y/N?"

"Be patient just for once."

And he had to be, however he never liked not knowing what's coming for him.

"Are you drunk?" Rafe said as soon as you stopped in front of him, making it to your destination. His eyes wandered around the balcony to see If there's something he sould notice but he's missing. But there were only you and him.

You rolled at your eyes the fact everyone's assuming you're drunk when you never felt so sober and wide awake before until now.

"No, Rafe. I am not." You even left your bottle at the beach.

"Why did you bring me here?"

You had to let go of his hands but your eyes never left his face. There was something with him that you could never understand before. You look at him and never want to see anything else. You could watch him for hours and days and still wouldn't want to look away. How foolish you would sound if you said these out loud.

Rafe waited for an answer but all you did was stare at him blankly.

"Why are you being weird Y/N? You high?"

You walked towards to the edge and left him behind you but turned away to see him, leaning back on the parapets. You had this idiotic smile on your face that just can't go away when you see him. You kept it hidden all this time but no longer fight the feeling.

"No. I am not drunk. I am not high. How many times I have to repeat myself?" You didn't sound sarcastic or angry, on the contrary Rafe found your tone extremely cheerful and it left more confused with the the situation.

"But you don't seem that way. " He admitted. The girl he knows was earnest, restrained and would do what what expected from her. It was annoying to him time to time because you were perfect example people-his father- gives when how he should be like. You were decent and kind, type of person who knows what to say to the people older than you. You were more relaxed and fun when you were with close friends. He liked that you could do it many ways but he always found you hard to get to. You would only let people in -or only him to the some point and would just go ice after that point. You were sharp with your words too If you wanted to and would know where to hurt when you want to hurt somebody but you only did to him once or twice. Probably they were the only times you actually went so cruel with anybody and Rafe was the only person could enrage anyone despite of how calm this person is. Rafe thought you had a side that you kept in secret and he was aware and impressed by that.

Now, you stood there, your hands on the parapets and your head tilted to your side with a small smile on the corner of your lips. You didn't look that weird but the energy you radiate was most peculiar.

He looked up and down. "You seem different."

The way he sound was like a melody. "How come?"

He only shrugged his shoulders and watched you giggle, breaking the silent night with it. You didn't know why you did it, it just got out of you.

Rafe took a step towards you, his eyes squinted with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Oh my God, could you just stop it? I am fine Rafe. "

"Then speak. Why did you bring me here? You're acting insane as fuck." He was impatient now and you were a little upset he thinks you are insane. So being out of your character just for a night and even he thinks you're insane. Your mood was spoiled.

"You can leave If you want. I didn't bring you here to fight. "

You sounded hurt and he couldn't comprehend how did you get too sensitive. You would scream at each other and you wouldn't even fling.

"Okay," he said to ease the tension. "Just tell me why are we here."

His words didn't bring your cheerful attitude back but you still continued. "Do you remember the summer two years ago? You and Sarah stayed here when Rose and your dad went to Caribbean's along with Wheezie?"

Rafe nodded slowly, wondering about why the hell you were bringing this up. "Yeah, we threw the biggest party this island has ever seen." He said little proud with himself.

He hoped the way he chuckles would make you all giggly again but you kept a straight face.

"It had started as fancy party at first. Sarah and I really wanted it to be like Midsummers because we wanted to feel like grownups in our fancy clothes." You smiled softly with remembering all of this. "And Topper was down with the idea because he wanted attention from Sarah. We even convinced you to it."

"And I remember we end up trashing the house at the end of the night though. "

"It was a mess." you said with a small smile that was gone so quickly. You approached to him slowly, with a serious look on your face that finally resembles to your normal self. "Do you remember you put on your dad's tuxedo and it was short for you because you became a giant that year?"

Rafe nodded firmly he was nervous of your serious expression. Now, you were only a step ahead of him and you were searching for something in him that he had no idea what. "I do." He brows squinted. "I had to take it off."

" You put on your ball cap when everyone wore a bow-tie." You smiled sadly, when you remember it hurt how good he looked that night. You'd remember him like that way forever.

"You were too drunk that night. I don't think you remember and it probably didn't matter to you," you cleaned your lips with your tongue. "We were here, alone, and you told me I looked beautiful in my sundress that night."

You felt a warn sensation on your cheek and your vision got blurred before you realize you are crying. You didn't know why because you finally felt so relieved you got this out of your chest. "And I couldn't forget that moment how much I tried to. "

Tears kept falling from your eyes, not matter how hard you tried to keep them in. You were tired from deceiving yourself about Rafe and pretending like you don't feel the way you do. Keeping this hidden from him and yourself. And you hated that you're crying and being so emotional and vulnerable now.

You wiped the tears and able to stop yourself although when you finally managed to look at Rafe, your vision wasn't all clear.

He looked at you as If you are not real. When you didn't get any reaction from Rafe, you were ready to drown yourself in bottles. You couldn't believe how stupid and naive you became in a week. This was the reason you never told him. This was the situation you didn't want to put yourself in. Just like that, a tear warmed your cheek again.

Rafe reached for your cheek, cupped it in his hand hesitantly. His heart shattered when you cried. And it was because of him. His hands left you naked, staring at him and wishing you were dead.

"How can you like me?" He asked, the words didn't almost make it out of his mouth and you weren't able to see his blurry blue eyes because of your own.

You cried a little more to his words. It hurt you how he thought he was unlovable. Yes he was mean, confused and a total mess but he was so much more. Maybe he didn't knew what to say or what to do all the time, maybe everything he did was wrong but he had good intentions. He was damaged and wounded by so many places. He was chaotic, problematic and it was probably wrong to mant to like him. Yes it was hard to love him but you did love him with every inch of your body and soul. You put your hand on his cheek and his skin underneath your palm was the smoothest things you ever touched before.

"You're beautiful, Rafe." You said and you just didn't know how to explain the way you feel. It was too much, too powerful.

"No." He stepped back, shaking his head side to side. He just couldn't believe you. You... of all people, knew how bitter he is and liked him? You were amazing and breathtaking in so many ways, you could do so much more and deserve so much better. And he was wretched soul, not even his father loved him. How could you possibly do?

"Don't fuck with me, okay?" He was angry at you playing with his mind like this. You were being cruel again, hitting where it hurts. "You don't." He said it like it is impossible for someone to love him because somehow, it was for everybody around him.

"I do."

He looked at you like you committed an unspeakable crime. Like you were trying to deceive him into that he has what he always seeked for. "Don't fucking lie to me. You don't." He said and a tear fell from his eyes. "You.." he had to take a deep breath to continue. You... A creation that is above him. "You can't."

If he only knew how he made you feel. If he knew how many times you pushed back the thoughts of him when they suddenly came to you and made your days unbearable. How you convinced yourself that he doesn't mean anything to you and felt sick in your stomach when you saw him with another girl and wished it was you instead. He had a possession in your heart without his knowledge and today was the day that part declared its freedom.

"But I do, Rafe. I spent so much thinking that it's nothing, thinking it is wrong, but I just do. I don't care if it is anymore, Rafe. I always tried to do what's right, it got me nowhere. If this is wrong, then I don't wanna be right."

You brushed his hair back and he was breathing heavily in your face. "Don't push me away." You whispered. "Please."

"I might never be this brave again." You kissed him, slowly made your lips as one. His skin burned you when his lips felt like heaven. When he gently kissed you back, you felt like nothing in this world could make you feel better than this.

Although you needed him more than the air your lungs lacked, you had to pull away. Your breaths melded with each other and now you got a taste of it, you didn't want to stop. Your lips once more was intertwined with his and they danced softly on yours. As your movements became more passionate, he followed you replacing his hands on both of your cheeks and pushing himself closer to you as if that was even an option, If it were, you'd do it sooner.

You wanted more and more. The scary truth that's been invading thoughts had no chance of fighting with the desire you were burning with. Him not loving you back as you do love him would kill you tomorrow but tonight you were born again.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Nothin’ Holdin’ Me Back

Santiago “Pope” Garcia x Reader

The last of the Shawn Mendes song fics. Will be working on new set soon. Um. Let’s see. Warnings.... insecurities? I guess. 

Everything tag list: @mikeisthricedeceased​

Oscar Tag: @m-1234 

I wanna follow where she goes

I think about her and she knows it

Santi woke up to an incoming text. He smirked when he saw the name, ‘Daiquiri.’ He opened the text to see it was a message asking him to come over and that she was lonely.

He chuckled at her message. He had been seeing her for a few weeks. He had met her at a bar a while back. All she drank was frozen Daiquiris because that’s the only drink she liked. After several drinks, the both of them had stumbled back to his place. It might not have been the best experience for both of them, but the next several times certainly made up for it.

He got dressed, brushed his teeth, and after making sure he had his keys, wallet, and phone, he was gone. She lived only a couple blocks from him, so he simply walked over to her place. He had a skip in his step, as he went up the stairs to her townhouse. He knocked on the door, waiting with a smirk.

It took her a moment to answer, and she looked frazzled.

“Hi. I’m sorry. We’re… this… My home is throwing a hissy fit, and apparently wanted a pool,” She complained, glancing back toward her kitchen with a groan.

“I’m sorry. I wasted your time,” She apologized with a small sigh, looking down.

Santi sighed softly, lifting her chin back up. “Tell me what happened?”

I wanna let her take control

'Cause everytime that she gets close, yeah

Just like that, their usual get togethers became something more. Soon, he was over to help her fix random stuff. Or he saw these flowers and they reminded him of her.

She wasn’t going to complain. She enjoyed spending more time with him. He always knew how to brighten her day with small, simple gestures. She was beginning to love just seeing him randomly, and not just for sex.

Sometimes he would come over just to talk. He often has nightmares about the incident in Colombia and just wants someone who will listen without judgment. She liked that he would confide in her. It made her feel like he trusted her.

One night, it was about 3am when he called. She had gone to answer it, but he hung up before she could. She stared at her phone, after trying to call him back twice with no success. She laid gnawing on her lip in worry. She decided to just go to him.

She got up threw on some sweats and a cardigan, hopping into her car and driving over to his place. She stepped up to his house and knocked. Waiting. Soon enough he answered the door.

She looked him over, spying the sweat on his face, and how worn out he appeared.

She simply pushed past him, taking his hand into hers, once he closed the door again, and led him back to him his room. She laid down, pulling him with her, and making him lay down. He situated himself, lying on top of her, his head resting on her chest. He sighed once, before holding her to him tightly. She ran her fingers through his hair, lulling him back to sleep.

She says that she's never afraid

Just picture everybody naked

After that night, they hardly left each other’s side. Besides work, they would often have dinner with each other, or would just spend the day together on a weekend. There were some evenings where they would go and hang out with friends, but they always missed one another.

Santi was tempted to introduce her to the guys but wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. His team were his family, and he didn’t want to risk them hating each other for whatever reason. On a deeper level… was he ready for that? Was he ready for her to see him entirely? That level of commitment that he has never shown before?

It scared him a bit. He knew that he really liked her. Hell, he would even go as far say that he loved her. But did he really? He’s never known love before. He’s never been with a girl long enough to get to that point (or ever wanted to get that close).

One night, he came over and wanted to talk some things out. He forgot however, that she had her girlfriends over for a girl’s night in. So, when he knocked on the door, he wasn’t prepared for all the giggles and laughter he heard, as she opened the door.

“Santi? Hi. Why are you here baby?” She asked him with a smile, slight concern in her eyes.

“Oh. Sorry. I forgot tonight was girl’s night. I just wanted to talk about some stuff. It can… wait. I’ll let you get back to... everything,” He tried to backtrack, wincing slightly.

“Um. Before you go… would you… would you like to meet them? They seem to be under the impression that I made you up,” She mock whispered to him.

He chuckled at that, and said, “If it doesn’t bother you or them, sure. Why not?”

A few minutes later he met her three best friends who all made vague threats to castrate and murder him, if he ‘shattered their best friend’s heart.’

He figured if she was okay with him meeting her best friends, it was time for her to meet his.

She really doesn't like to wait

Not really into hesitation

A week later, she was strolling into a bar, looking for Santi and his friends. She spotted them, and quietly analyzed the group that was with him. There were 3 men, and a woman who had a small baby with her. All 3 men were tall, and well built. Two were blue eyed but one was blonde, the other brunette. The third was tan, with dark hair and eyes. He was currently making faces at the baby trying to get her to laugh.

She slowly made her way over to them, even though she felt like she was interrupting them.

Santi turned his head and spotted her, a smile breaking out on his face as he beckoned her over. She shyly walked up to him, kissing him on the cheek. He introduced to her everyone and pulled out her chair when she went to go sit next to him. He called her by her nickname Daiquiri which made her laugh a bit.

She was quiet for most of dinner, mainly because they made her nervous. She was afraid of saying something and them taking it poorly or something. She wanted them to like her; these were the most important people in his life.

Halfway through the guys got up to go play a round of pool, and she was left with Maria, Frankie’s girl, and their baby, Isobel.

“You can relax around them you know?” Maria softly tells her once they were away.

“I… I’m having a hard time doing so” She admitted, feeling slightly defeated.

“I understand. I was the same way when I first met them too. They have like a hive mind, and inside jokes that I still don’t understand. But they are all genuinely nice guys, so breathe. Loosen up,” Maria assured her, shaking her teasingly. “Here. Hold Isobel for a moment, I gotta go to the bathroom.”

Maria hands her the baby, as she stood up and the walked away. She stares at the baby concerned for a moment, gently adjusting her in her arms. She sighed softly, looking down at her. Isobel giggled at her, as she grabbed a lock of her hair.

“Oh? You like my hair? Please don’t tug on it, princess. I know. It’s very tempting, but ow,” She winced slightly as Isobel gave it a sharp tugged.

She gently untangled her hair from the teeny tiny fist with baby hulk strength. Once her hair was free, she simply just started talking to her. Isobel watched her with an odd look of awe as she spoke, and soon fell asleep in her arms. She didn’t know quite what to do, so she just stayed there, somewhat rocking her.

When Maria returned, she was pleasantly surprised to see that Isobel was asleep, and helped Daiquiri lay her gently into her baby carrier.

She looked up to see what the guys were doing and wished she hadn’t immediately. A pretty young girl, was standing next to Santi, heavily flirting with him, and he… from the looks of it… wasn’t ignoring her advances. In fact, he looked a lot like the night they first met: leaning to the side, a hand in his pocket, and a smirk on his face.

She bit her lip. She wasn’t quite sure what to do. They never really said they were exclusive. Never really spoke about what they were to one another. She looked down, not wanting to watch anymore. She just quietly pulled out some cash, to pay for her meal and tip, before quickly leaving. If she had been paying attention, she would have noticed that the girl who was over with Santi, had walked away from him, frowning.

Pulls me in enough to keep me guessing, whoa

And maybe I should stop and start confessing

Santi hadn’t realized what had happened. All he knew was after he and Frankie won their game, he looked over to where Daiquiri had been and sees she was no longer there.

Maria, however, was and she was frowning deeply at him. He made his way over to her, and asked, “Where did she go?”

“Probably home. Since you seemed to have a grand ol’ time with malibu barbie over there,” Maria informed him with slight disgust.

“Malib- what are you talking about? I told her she was too young for me, and that I had a girlfriend?” He defended.

“That’s not how it looked from here,” Maria tells him with a sigh.

“Shit. What do I do? I… I’m in love with this girl Maria,” He begged her, stressing, running a hand through his hair worriedly.

“Go. After. Her.” Maria explained slowly.

Santi nodded, quickly paying for his tab and rushing out. He was freaking out on the drive to her place. He didn’t know what to say or do to make this right. He just knew that what she saw wasn’t what it seemed.

He quickly parked in front of her house, and rushed up to the door, knocking.

He heard a slight shuffling, before the door opened slightly.

“What Santi?” She asked, her voice cracking, as she stood there, not even opening the door wide enough for him to see her.

“Can we… can we please talk? I swear. I wasn’t flirting with that girl. I was telling her I had a girl,” Santi desperately tried to plead.

She snorted lightly, not quite believing him.

“You don’t have to explain. It’s not like we…” Her voice faltered for a moment. “It’s not like we said we were exclusive. So. Technically you’re perfectly allowed to do whatever you want.”

“Baby… that’s not… that’s.. I..” He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Look. I’m tired. Um. I just want to go to bed right now. We can… talk later… or something,” She told him as she closed the door.

Confessing, yeah

'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far

I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright

A talk… that she kept avoiding. She wanted to talk to him, but then her mind would think up all the reasons why she shouldn’t bother.

‘You weren’t exclusive.’

‘This was just a friends with benefits thing.’

‘You didn’t mean anything to him.’

‘He’s known for not settling down with one chick.’

‘Why would he settle down with you?’

The last thought, in particular, was the main reason why she’s been avoiding him. She knew the moment she met him that he wasn’t the type for commitment. But for a while there, she let herself hope. She really thought that maybe he had changed.

So, she avoided his calls and texts. She avoided his knocks on her door at all hours. Some of her friends wanted to go and beat him up for hurting her. She told him to let it go, that she was the idiot who fell in love with him.

Her best friend, however, had a different thought. One night, she came over to talk.

“Okay. Imma say something. I want you to listen to me for a moment. If you truly meant nothing to him, why is he blowing up your phone left and right? Why is he trying to talk to you constantly to explain?” Amanda, her friend, questioned.

She didn’t know what to say to that.

“Go. Talk. To. Him. Let him explain fully what happened. If nothing did, then fucking move on. You are miserable, so go. To. Him,” Amanda stated firmly, pulling her to the door. “I’m locking you out of your own house, bye.”

Amanda shoved her out, and she heard the lock turn.

“I hate you!” She shouted at her through the door.

“Love you too. Go fix things with your man!” Amanda called back.

She made the awkward stroll over to Santi’s place, shivering because it was chilly out and she had no jacket.

When she stood in front of his door, she bit her lip, fidgeting with her hands.

She slowly reached up and knocked.

If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark

I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright

Santi… was not doing okay. He hadn’t realized it, but she had become his anchor. She grounded him when the days or nights got rough. It had only been a few days, but he was struggling. He was having a hard time sleeping.

His head jerked up when he heard the knocking. Thinking it was one of the guys, he sighed loudly, getting up from the couch and answering it.

He was surprised when he sees her there instead.

“Hi,” She whispered.

He looked her over, noticing her eyes were puffy from crying and she was slightly shivering.

“Did… did you walk over here? Honey. It’s 34 degrees out! Get inside,” He stated, pulling her in, rubbing her arms with his hands.

“Amanda. L-locked me out. T-told me to come t-talk to you finally,” She slightly stuttered out, as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to warm up.

“Did Amanda think to check the current temperature before doing this? C’mon. C’mere.” He beckoned leading her to the couch where he threw one of the several blankets she brought over on various dates, around her shoulders.

He went into his kitchen and quickly made her a cup of hot chocolate, bringing it over to her gently. She took it from him, the warmth of the mug, immediately taking the chill from her hands. He sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close.

It took some time, but soon enough her shivering had subsided.

“I wasn’t flirting with that chick. I swear. I almost lost that game of pool, because I kept watching you. Seeing you hold Isobel… drove me crazy. I never thought about that kind of stuff before…” He quietly explained to her.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, I should have… let you explain. I… I just… figured… you were bored of me or something…” She mumbled back, sniffling slightly.

“Nah. I… I’m crazy for you baby. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I… I love you,” He whispered pressing a kiss to her head.

I know we'd be alright, we would be alright

Oh, I've been shaking

She felt her breath catch as he confessed that. She could feel her lip tremble and tears well up in her eyes. She wasn’t expecting that.

“You don’t have to say it back just yet. I just want you to know… you’re it for me. I don’t want anyone else. No one else can compare to you,” He said sweetly.

She bit her lip and nodding her head slightly. She slowly finished her drink and Santi set the empty cup into the sink, rinsing it out. She got up and walked over to him. She stood behind him, and slowly wrapped her arms around him, resting her face against his back.

She raised herself to her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to the small scar at his neck. She felt him shiver slightly at the sensation. He slowly turned around to her, his arms going around her waist.

“Umm. Would… would you like to stay the night?” He asked her hesitantly.

She nodded her head. She bit her lip for a moment, before going back onto her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He kissed her back, his hands moving down to her thighs.

“Jump,” He muttered against her lips.

She does so, and he catches her, walking the two of them up to his bedroom.

I love it when you go crazy

You take all my inhibitions

It took some time, but the two of them got back to normal routine. They had a long conversation together, which ended in him officially stating that he was hers, and she was his.

Santi realized from that conversation that meeting all of the guys, was a little intimidating. So, he tried again, but one at a time. Frankie and her immediately hit it off, especially when Isobel recognized her and got very excited.

Will was a bit more cautious but soon they were having conversation about dominos and fidget spinners and weird traps. They are now planning a whole elaborate chain reaction of dominoes.

Benny was overactive and excitable, but she got used to it fairly quickly. He was a bit like a overgrown puppy in her words.

Soon enough, they were going out with the whole group. One night, they had gone out with the whole gang and were playing a game of darts. The guys for all their military know-how, were awful. She kept laughing at all of them when they would try to go for the bullseye and failed.

Santi dared her, “You try then.”

She took the darts from him and tossed all three into the bullseye with ease.

Santi stared at her in awe, “How?”

“A lady never reveals her secrets,” She teased moving away from him.

He chased after her, grabbing her and tickling her. Her laughter was high pitched and infectious.

When she finally got over her giggles, she said something that he wasn’t expecting.

“I love you,” She said breathless.

Santi couldn’t stop smiling all night. He wasn’t sure what the future held in store for him, but he knew one thing: he had the love of his life by his side.

Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

You take me places that tear up my reputation

Manipulate my decisions

Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back (oh whoa)

[athenasbloodyspear]

Say Something to Stop Me: Chapter 9

Writing Master List | Say Something to Stop Me Master List

(There’s a double asterisk ** at one point in the story, I recommend playing the song I mention “Every Step You Take” by The Police as you read if that’s your thing! It’s what I wrote the rest of the scene to and I think it just makes it feel like a movie.)

Dr. Cho did end up having to put a few stitches in Bucky’s eyebrow and it turns out he was hiding some nasty bruises under his shirt. He looked like he’d gone through a meat tenderizer. The bullet proof vest he wore kept most of the shots from being fatal, but the smattering of bullet shaped bruises on his chest nearly tore you in two.

You sat in a chair across the room and watched as Helen finished his stitches and felt around on his chest for any broken ribs or potential internal bleeding. You found yourself just staring at him while they ran various diagnostics. He was definitely worse for wear, but he was so unbelievably beautiful that you felt your heart squeeze in your chest.

It was funny, this dynamic between you two. A push and pull that you hadn’t experienced before. It was like when you worked together on missions. When one of you moved, the other adjusted to fill the space you had left. When he had needed your calming touch and level head, you’d been able to provide it for him.

It struck you then, how long you’d been living in a relationship that was only push, no pull. You’d let someone dictate your emotions, your reactions and responses to nearly everything. You had shoved yourself into a box for him, trying to fit exactly how he wanted you.

Bucky let you be exactly how you needed to be in each moment. He stepped in to fill holes and support you where you needed it, but stepped away and let you go when he knew you could stand on your own.

He trusted you.

You trusted him.

You loved him.

After they’d finished, Tony told him to get his ass cleaned up and to bed.

“And I mean sleep Barnes. If you rip those stitches because you can’t keep your hands off her, I won’t let anyone come close them and you’ll have to restitch them yourself.”  

You let Bucky rest most of his weight on you as you helped get him back to his room. At this point you knew that there was no risk of Bucky ripping those stitches. He needed sleep badly.

You assisted as he peeled his bloodied pants and boots from his body, then held under his arms as he slowly lowered himself into the bath, being careful to keep his right arm above water. Everytime he winced in pain you felt a sting in your own chest.

He’d be fine, you knew. He healed abnormally fast. That didn’t make the moments of his pain hurt any less to watch.

After he’d finally lowered himself into the steaming water, you’d told him to lay back and relax while you rinsed and lathered his hair and scrubbed at his neck and chest to remove the layers of sweat and dried blood. Then you’d gotten him dried off and dressed in pajamas before helping him curl up in his bed.

He was asleep before you could even pull the covers up to tuck him in.

~0~

The next few weeks passed quietly. Sam was mostly bed ridden, so you and Bucky spent a lot of time in his room generally bothering him and making him wish he could heal faster just so he could get away from you both and your endless supplies of one-liners.

One night, you both helped him make the long trip to the common area under the guise of a change in scenery. Really, Peter wanted to keep watching the Fast and Furious movies and making Sam watch his least favorite movies when he didn’t have the ability to leave on his own was hilarious.

Were you terrible people? Maybe.

Sam did admit he would have done the same thing if given the chance.

Pretty much everyone joined in. Steve had helped Nat up from her room. She was in much better shape than Sam and was pretty much 100%, but Steve stayed close to her most days claiming that just because she seemed better didn’t mean something couldn’t happen to her.

Wanda and Vision came to watch the movies as well, which ended up being the best part of the experience. Vision kept pointing out the flawed logic in many of the action scenes and Wanda kept trying to patiently explain to him that the movies weren’t intended to be logical. Vision's distress nearly made Peter pee his pants laughing.

When you were taking a snack break between Fast Five and the 6th installment, Tony wandered into the kitchen slowly. Looking at his hands.

“Hey kid. Can you come chat over here a second.”

“Uh. Sure Tony.”

You stood from the couch, having to untangled yourself from Bucky’s hold, and sauntered to the kitchen island.

“How you feeling, kid?” Tony asked.

“Fine…” You murmured. “What’s going on?”

“Uh. Nothing major. Just trying to gauge how you’re doing emotionally before I say what I have to say.” Tony was looking at pretty much anywhere but you, fiddling with spoons and forks that were on the counter.

“Out with it Tony.”

“Uh…” Tony hedged. “Well I just want you to know that Elijah…” He trails off.

Saying his name is enough for everyone in the room to suddenly quiet and look in your direction.

“Just say it Tony. I’m fine. What about him?”

Bucky gets up from the couch and takes a few steps toward you before stopping a few feet from the two of you. The rest of the group stays where they’re seated, staring.

“Elijah’s dead.” Tony finally finishes.

It takes a moment to fully process that thought. You really hadn’t been prepared to hear anything about him today, let alone that he was dead.

“He’s what?” You whisper.

“I’ve had an agent tailing him since that day in Brooklyn.” Tony says softly. “I just got word that he’s dead.”

You whip your head up to look at Bucky.

“I swear to god it wasn’t me.” Bucky says, holding his hands up in surrender. “But when I do find out who it was, I will probably give them a kiss on the mouth.”

You grab a wooden spoon off the counter and whip it at Bucky’s head. Bucky ducks easily and Steve reaches up and grabs it out of the air behind Bucky before it can smack into the glass wall behind him. You also let out a small chuckle. You can’t help it.

“I’m thinking you won’t want to, Barnes.” Tony remarks. “Considering the cause of death was the dumbass getting himself good and drunk and wrapping his fancy sports car around a tree. So unless you’d like to kiss the man's corpse, you’re shit out of luck.”

Bucky huffed and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes at Tony.

You sat down abruptly at a stool at the kitchen island. Bucky took a few quick steps toward you and laid a hand on your back.

“Sweetheart, are you…?”

“I’m fine.” You whisper. “I’m fine.”

And you were, you realized. You basically felt nothing. Of course, you felt some twinge of sadness at someone you had spent so many years of your life with dying in a horrific car accident.

But you felt fine really. No shortness of breath, no panic at the thought of him. You were clear headed and calm.

There was no threat of the sea of emotions lapping at your heels. You didn’t feel like you were about to drown.

“I’m fine.” You murmured again. Looking up at Bucky. “I’m fine, Bucky. Does that make me a monster?”

Bucky stepped in to you then and wrapped you in a warm hug, kissing the crown of your head. “No. It does not make you a monster sweetheart.”

“So. Not to bring up a touchy subject or anything…” Sam piped up from his spot where you and Bucky had propped him on the couch. “But, this man was your fiance, no?”

“Yes.” You murmur back. Bucky’s arms tensed a bit around you, you felt his head shift and you assumed he was leveling Sam with a death glare.

“And, we’re totally fine with him being dead? Like don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side no matter what I just feel like I’m missing something.”

“Sam, she doesn’t have to…” Bucky started.

“No, Buck. It’s okay.” You said, placing a palm on his chest and giving him a little push so you could turn to look at Sam and the rest of your family in the living room.

“Yes. He was my fiance. I knew him for most of my life. I kept him a secret from you all because he hated SHIELD and all of you. He hated that I worked here.” You started. Bucky was watching you carefully, with a hand placed on your back. He seemed poised for attack, like if there was any indication that your heart rate picked up or you lost your breath he would snag you in his arms and run out of there like a bomb was going off.

You loved him.

But it was time for your family to know.

“We ended things when I got back from Budapest. He was abusive, to say the least, and manipulative. I was angry at myself for letting it get that far which was why I isolated myself from you all for so long.” You sighed and offered your family a small smile. “But, I’m feeling more like myself again.” You looked at Sam then. “So, no. We don’t really care that he’s gone, beyond normal human discomfort with death. Even if that makes me a little evil, I kind of don’t care.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then Sam spoke. “Well good riddance then.”

Nat spoke up next. “I am a little disappointed you didn’t take a crack at him Barnes.”

“Trust me I wanted to.” Bucky chuckled. “But my priorities were elsewhere.” He snuck a look at you with a little smile.

“Thank you for telling us.” Wanda said softly. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But you’re my family.”

Steve stood up then from his spot across the room and crossed to you. He wrapped you up in a big hug. The next thing you knew, Bucky, Nat, Wanda, Peter and even Vision were joining in. You teared up a bit standing in the center of all of them.

“Get in here Tony.” Steve muttered.

“Sorry pal, I don’t do group hugs.” Tony quipped from where he leaned against the kitchen island.

You peeked through the holes between arms and saw Sam sitting on the couch smiling at all of you. You pouted a bit as you looked at him, offering your apologies that he was stuck on the couch.

“I’m there in spirit, gorgeous.” Sam smiled at you. “When I can stand on my own I’ll give you a better hug than any of these assholes could dream of.”

You giggled then. The whole group devolved into arguments on who gave the best hugs.

Right as Nat and Steve were going toe to toe (arguing vehemently that the other gave the best hug) Tony spoke up. “What do you all say we go to the bar down the road and celebrate?”

“Celebrate?” You chuckled.

“Yeah kid. I think it’s about time we let loose as a family. I’ll give Sam the bottom half of a suit or something so he can walk on his own in the bar.”

“You mean to tell me these past few weeks I could have just borrowed a suit? What kind of sick bastard are you?” Sam yells incredulously from across the room.

“Don’t push your luck birdboy.” Tony looks at you again. “What do you say? Fancy a night out with your family?”

You couldn’t think if anything you’d love more. “Hell yes.”

~0~

You all piled into various vehicles at the compound and made the short trek down the road to the bar. (Not before Sam finally gave you a big hug. He wasn’t kidding, he was a really incredible hugger.)

You all made quite a scene rolling up as a unit and pushing a bunch of tables together. Luckily, most of the patrons at the bar seemed to be wise enough not to cause a scene with the entire Avengers team in one spot.

You sat and marveled briefly at everyone laughing and drinking and enjoying themselves. It was still amazing to you that all of these people, who had seen so much and suffered so much could be together here now, laughing and joking with each other.

You were proud to be one of them.

Peter was slinging spitballs through straws in Sam’s direction which Sam was artfully trying to dodge, his iron legs supporting him now. Tony, Steve and Bucky were sniping back and forth at each other. Vision and Wanda had gotten up from the table to dance to the songs playing on the jukebox.

“Hey hot stuff.” Nat said, dropping down next to you at the table. “Whatcha thinking about all quiet over here?”

“Just amazed I’m here, is all. It’s everything I always wanted, but really didn’t think I could ever have.”

“I know what you mean.” Nat said softly. “I didn’t know if I’d ever really have a family like this. I didn’t think I could.”

“I tried so hard to make it work with Elijah, nearly destroying myself in the process, because I wanted to belong somewhere. For somewhere to be home.” You muttered.

“I know.” Nat said. “Seems silly now doesn’t it? I fought for years against belonging here. It scared the hell out of me. Still does most days, especially when one of you gets hauled through those doors all messed up. Emotionally or physically.” She looks at you pointedly then. “But I’ve learned I’d rather be terrified of losing you all than never having you, you know?”

“Totally.”

You both sit in silence for a bit, sipping on your beers and just taking in the scene. Just then, “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls came on and you bubbled up with laughter.

“What’s that giggle for?” Nat asked.

“Nothing. I just got an idea.” You drained your beer and stood up from the table you were sitting at. “Hey, can you turn it up?” You sent the bartender a smile. He nodded and spun to turn the volume up in the bar. “Wanna join?” You tossed over your shoulder at Nat as you placed your hands on the bar and hopped up. You started moving your hips to the music, the same way you did a year ago in Budapest.

Nat glanced over to where Bucky was still mostly oblivious to you standing on the bar, his back facing you as he talked to Steve and Tony. “Hell yeah I do.”

Nat hopped up on the bar with you and sidled close to you, moving her hips with yours.

Wanda saw you and quickly hopped up on the bar. A few other women in the bar looked up and watched, and you three waved them over to have them join. The bartenders quickly moved the glasses on the bar out of the way so you all had a clear space to dance.

There were a few whoops and hollers from some of the men sitting at the bar on the other end, and you spun, ignoring your real prey and sending flirtatious smiles and giggles toward the men down the bar.

The attention of the other men finally got the attention that you had been looking for in the first place.

Steve’s head popped up from their conversation and his eyes widened at the sight before him. You, Nat and Wanda dancing tightly together, hands in the air. Without tearing his eyes from you he quickly punched Bucky in the shoulder. You could tell Bucky had probably asked what the hell Steve’s problem was when Steve just pointed in your direction. Bucky turned slowly to look.

You weren’t looking directly at him, you were still making eyes at the guys down the bar, but from your peripheral vision you saw his jaw drop open before he quickly shut it, grinding down on his jaw. He leaned back against the table, resting his elbows on the surface and spreading his legs out to assume an arrogant laid back stance. Clearly intent on enjoying your show.

It took every ounce of will not to hop down off the bar and climb him like a tree.

As the bridge of the song sped up and the electric guitar started shredding Nat, Wanda and you really turned it on. You saw Steve put his face in his hands as he released a long groan. Bucky just leveled you with an arrogant smirk. As the final tones of the song played you finally looked fully at Bucky, giving him a haughty smile as if to say What? I’m not doing anything.

Bucky just rolled his eyes at you as the song ended and the first notes of “Every Breath You Take” by the Police started**.

It was just like that first night in Budapest. You, up on a bar dancing, and Bucky staring at you from his place at the table, a dark heated look in his eyes.

Except this time, it would end differently.

Bucky stood up abruptly from the table and stalked toward you. Nat and Wanda took that as their cue to step away and off the bar, leaving you standing there alone. When Bucky reached the bar he wrapped his hands around your waist.

“C’mon babygirl. Let’s go home.” He chuckled as he lifted you up off the bar. As he stepped back he started to lower you down from where you towered over him. You slid down the front of his body as he set you back to your feet. Once you were safely on the ground, he kept his hands on your waist as you looked up at him. You smirked at him and batted your eyelashes innocently. He groaned low in his throat and leaned down so his mouth was even with your ear. “You’re killin me sweetheart.” He rose back up to his full height and looked down at you. His eyes raked over your whole body and you flushed and bit down on the corner of your bottom lip. “Fucking hell.” He growled.

He picked you up, tossed you over his shoulder and made a beeline for the door. You squealed.

He snagged your coats off the back of his chair as you passed the table that everyone was sitting at.

“Got someplace to be, Barnes?” Natasha crooned as Bucky rushed past where she now sat next to Steve.

You blushed and giggled, waving to everyone from your place on Bucky’s shoulder as he continued out the door, not slowing down for anything.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind you he dropped you back on your feet and roughly grabbed both sides of your head, crashing his lips against yours. You pressed your body against his, your hands grabbing two fistfuls of his t-shirt and yanking. You wanted him closer.

He finally ripped his mouth from yours and stared down at you as his chest rose and fell rapidly, he was as out of breath as you were. “I love you.” He breathed.

You didn’t answer him. He knew.

You just launched yourself into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist and your hands tangling in the ends of his hair when it curled against the back of his neck. You dragged his lips back to yours. His hands caught you around the waist, his metal arm lowering down to hold you under your hips and keep you from slipping.He started to walk you backwards toward where his bike was parked across the parking lot.

You devoured him, nipping at his bottom lip and running your hands through his hair. You had one hand gripping the back of his neck to keep him from moving too far away from you.

Suddenly you heard a voice call out from near the door of the bar. Sam, standing on his own with a pair of iron legs assisting. “Fucking nasty. Get a room!”

You heard the chorus of chuckles from your friends, your family, as they all spilled out the door of the bar.

Bucky pulled his head back just enough so that there was enough space between you that he could yell back “Trying to!” before smashing your lips back to his.

Once he reached his bike, he set you down before quickly mounting the bike and hitting the kickstand. As soon as he was stable you giggled and jumped on the back, wrapping yourself around him and burying your face into his neck.

He revved the engine twice, yelled “hold on” over his shoulder and took off.

You lifted your head to look at everyone as Bucky ripped out of the parking lot. A huge grin on your face, you lifted a hand to wave at your family. You could just make out the sound of Nat yelling “See you at home!” At the same time that Sam yelled “I’m gonna need a different floor to sleep on tonight.”

You giggled again and faced forward in the seat, squeezing Bucky again as he turned onto the asphalt and hit the gas.

You hurtled down the road toward the compound.

As you were flying down the asphalt you decided that you were going to finally just start living without fear that someone was going to take it away from you. The fresh air was pelting your face and it was so strong it wiped away any doubt. It wiped away the thought that you didn’t deserve to have moments like this.

You wanted to feel it all. The pain of the whipping wind, the sting of the air on your eyes, the smell of gasoline in your nose.

You wanted to feel every moment you could with Bucky. The good, the bad and the boring. You wanted to spend time with your family and be there for every moment in their lives and never miss a month with them again.

You wanted to be totally free.

You started to peel your arms away from Bucky’s chest. One of his hands left the handlebars and he grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I wanna feel the wind!” You yelled back. “I wanna feel everything, Bucky.”

He paused only a second before patting your wrist twice, and dropping his hand to your thigh to hold on to you. You squeezed your legs together, gripping him tighter as you released your hands from his waist, slowly lifting them so that they were above your head.

Your hair was flying wildly around your head and the only things you could hear were the sound of the engine and the wind. It was the most amazing feeling in the whole world.

You let out a loud whoop as you just let yourself go, laughing at how absolutely wonderful it was to just feel.

Against your chest you could feel Bucky’s back rumble as he laughed with you. He squeezed your knee once, put his hand back on the handlebars and pushed the bike a little faster.

You wanted this forever.

Just you, your man and the wind.

@vicmc624

@austynparksandpizza

[sunnomnoms]

Hi!! I wanted to request an scenario where the reader is a teacher in UA and is also good friends since their school years with Aizawa and Hizashi. She finds her old notes with some doodles and brings it to work so she could revive some memories with her friends. What she didn't remember is that she used to write Aizawa's name in her notebook with hearts around it... Kind of thing.... Thank you in advance ❤️❤️💖💖

AYYYY AN AIZAWA REQUEST yesyesyesyes this is so cute I love this. I hope I wrote him to your liking!! Also I am super sorry for the long wait! I had an unannounced hiatus and everytime I went to write this scenario Tumblr deleted it!!! >:,( but here it is!!

“It’s been years since I’ve seen one of these things!!” You squealed happily as you flipped through the pages.

“We were probably, what, second years back when I used this? God, that felt like centuries ago!”

You had found an old note book of yours that you used to use all the time in high school. You were a teacher now at UA, alongside your high school best friends, Shota and Hizashi. The three of you were often around each other along with other friends you had had. Though it felt so long ago, it’s as if you could remember that chapter of your life clearly...

“When do you plan to tell him?” Hizashi whispered teasingly at you as he peaked over your shoulder. You squeaked, pulling your notebook to your chest as a deep blush crept onto your face.

“C-can you not?? jeez Hizashi!” you whisper-yelled at him, to which he only laughed. The racket you two had caused caught a certain someone’s attention.

“What are you two doing?” Shota asked, turning around in his seat to face the two of you. He placed an elbow on your desk, propping his head on it. The teacher wasn’t in class yet so some students chatted away, it wasn’t a crime for you three to do the same.

Shota shifted his gaze to you, your slightly pink cheeks catching his attention.

“H-he’s flirting again, you know how he is.” You lied through your teeth, holding your notebook to your face to try and cover your blush. Hizashi laughed at the remark, adding a “yeah, okay.” Shota sighed, humming a little as to say “ah, of course” before he let out a small yawn.

“I’m gonna nap. Wake me up when sensei gets here.” He said groggily as he rested his head in his arms on your desk. Before you could even respond, he was fast asleep on your desk. pulling down your notebook a tad, you revealed the heart filled smile you had towards his sleeping form. Hizashi has made some teasing comments here and there, but you hadn’t paid much mind.

It was true, you had a crush on Shota back then. To say your attraction towards him disappeared would be a lie, but the two of you were professionals now, and there was no room for fluffy feelings like that. While occasionally you wished for such a romance between the two of you, you always shook the thoughts away. Shota was your coworker, as well as just your friend.

With that said, you made sure to try and avoid bringing one of your notebooks that had love poems and confessions in them. You had a bad habit of day dreaming back then, and when you’re a teenager, you can imagine what kind of things you day dreamed about.

“You used to draw that little thing on all of my papers, I couldn’t escape it.” Shota said, pointing to a familiar, simple cat doodle you often did. You laughed, flipping a few pages to see the same doodle reappear several times. He chuckled softly as well.

“Oh! And here’s that freaking S!” Hizashi said, pointing to the infamous ‘S’ symbol probably all teenagers drew at one part of their life. “That thing haunts me!! I have no idea what it is or where it came from!!” Hizashi exclaimed over dramatically, earning another laugh from you. “I’m pretty sure everyone drew it.” You added.

The three of you sort of huddled around, reminiscing on old notes and doodles you all once did. Most of them were done by you, but some pages were filled with doodles done by all of you. Hizashi’s doodles usually contained random things, even memes at the time. Shota seemed to write small notes that usually were filled with sarcasm, and would occasionally draw little cats. Your doodles were always all over the place, from things like skulls to bunnies, or sharks and flowers. If hero work wouldn’t have worked so well in your favor, perhaps you would have been an artist. Who knows?

The time came when your off period was up, and the three of you had to go back to class and teach. You had left your notebook in the lobby, expecting to take it home with you when you left.

Unfortunately, you were a bit of a clutz that day, and had started to run late for your train.

“Ah, I’ll talk to you all tomorrow!!! My train is about to be here in ten minutes and it’s usually a fifteen minute walk, I gotta run!!” You called in a panic as you dashed out of the school.

“W-Wait, I could-” Shota called out to you, before stopping himself.

“... just give you a ride...” he sighed as he watched you scurry off without a second thought. He had to stay back for a half an hour anyway to file some paperwork, he would have had no issue bringing you home. But you were quick on your feet, and already too far and too determined to catch that train.

Aizawa laughed softly. You were always like this it seemed. You weren’t an idiot, no, but... an airhead? Sure. You often were oblivious to things going on it seemed. Not to mention how forgetful you could be.

On the topic of your forgetfulness, it seems you had yet again left something at work.

Shota looked over at you desk, noticing the notebook you seemed to have left behind while dashing off for your train. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, Shota was basically expecting it at this point. He let out another sigh, picking up the notebook. Upon noticing it was your old notebook from highschool, he opened it up to relive a few memories before getting back to filing papers. It was the same nostalgic things he had seen earlier, some things he didn’t remember, some things he remembered all too well. A small smile played on his lips as he flipped through the pages.

“What are you doing?” Shota inquired as he watched you scribble in your notebook.

“Nothing!! You can’t see yet!!” You giggled as you continued to intently sketch away.

Shota wouldn’t dare say it out loud, but he couldn’t help but find you cute like this. Maybe it was the way your hair fell in your face as you worked, maybe it was the little smile on your face, he couldn’t put his finger one what exactly caught his eye about the familiar sight. And yet, any time you did your little sketches, he’d sneak glances. Not at your notebook, but at you. You were just so cute when you were determined.

“Okay, I’m done. Lookie!” You said, placing your book on the desk for him to see. Shota blinked a few times before he realized what he was looking at. “It’s you!” You giggled.

It was a sketch of a cat, a black one, with the binding cloth around its neck. Shota felt a small smile pull on his lips as he looked at it.

“It’s so cute..” Shota muttered, before realizing what he had said. He looked up to you, expecting some sort of weirded out expression, but instead was met by your flustered expression.

“It’s just a doodle, it isn’t that cute! Haha!” You said sheepishly, waving him off.

As far back as Shota could remember knowing you, he had always recognized you as a strong girl. And yet, when you weren’t busy kicking ass, you found the time to be cute and endearing. Perhaps it was the duality you had that attracted him so much. But with how things have been recently with hero work and teaching, he doubted now was the right time to act on any sort of feelings. Shota couldn’t risk ruining the healthy work relationship the two of you had.

Shota flipped through a few more pages, and was ready to leave his reminiscing session there, until his eyes caught his name in one of the pages he passed. Blinking a few times, he flipped back a few pages, and scanned the page for his name. It didn’t take much scanning at all though. He felt his heart stop.

Not only did he find his name surrounded by hearts, but he found entire heartfelt notes. Little notes about the little details you noticed and loved, notes about how much you loved his long hair, notes about how you adored his love for cats, notes about how you admired his hard work on mastering the binding cloth...

Shota hadn’t felt his heart swell like that in years. It hurt almost, he even almost let out an audible swoon. Sitting down at his desk, he tried to process what he was reading. How many other Shota’s did they go to school with at the time? Was it really him she was talking about?

It had to be. Who else could it be?

Shota closed the notebook and sat back in his chair. His heart pounded against his chest, his head swarmed him with thoughts on what to do now that he had this information. He wanted to just kiss you, call you stupid for not saying anything for long, telling you he felt the same and still does. But that begs the question, do you still feel that way? The idea of your feelings fading away all these years later made his breath hitch. It was totally possible. You were teenagers, what if it was just a little phase? Something you were in and out of within a week?

Shota sighed for the umpteenth time that afternoon, settling for an idea he had. He’d come over to your apartment to drop it off, and he’d ask you about it then, right? Surely that was a fool-proof plan, right?

“What am I, 16?” Shota mocked himself out loud. He was acting like a nervous teenager again. Why?

Packing up and calling it a day (despite not filing a single paper...), Shota set off towards his car.

He held a hope in his heart that things haven’t changed too much from when you two were teenagers.

[sierraraeck]

Return to Normalcy (Pt.2)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Returning to normal has never been so hard. Just as Aundreya is starting to make amends and fit back in with the group, something gets in the way. Story twenty-two.

Category: Angsty-fluff

Warnings: Cussing. CM talk. Mentions of death and suicide as a COD. Break-ins.

Word Count: 3.9k

I stormed into my apartment and slammed the door shut. I ripped off my jacket and tossed it aside along with my bag. Then I just screamed. I screamed as loud as I could for as long as I could and then I just stood there.

There came a knock on my door and I assumed it was my neighbor Billy, some poor old lady that had the misfortune of living next to me. And not to call her a grump, but for real, she could be a pain in my ass. Especially after I’d just fought off three people during the night, and then had to deal with her glaring at me in the morning asking me to please (and I quote) ‘pull myself together or throw my childish temper tantrums somewhere else.’

I whipped open the door and yelled, “Billy, I’m sorry, but I’m really not in the mood right now for your-” I stopped mid sentence, mouth hanging open when I saw who it really was. “Aaron, I’m sorry, I just-”

His eyes went wide and he offered a small smirk, “Who’s Billy?”

“Someone you’re probably glad you aren’t,” I replied. “Come in.”

Once he did, I wanted to just up and shoot myself. Way to lie to your boss about what was going on, and then just invite him inside to the only place that could prove you were lying.

He turned to face me and I sighed, shaking my head. “Can I get you anything? Water maybe?”

He gave me a pointed look, “I’m okay, thank you.”

I tried to make light of the situation, “Well, make yourself at home, if you can find a place to do that.”

My apartment really was a disaster. The couch was the only semi-clean spot considering Spencer and I had slept on it the night before, but other than that, you had to step over and around broken wood and glass to get to where you wanted to go. I’d already learned to ignore it.

“Was that true?” Hotch asked, out of the blue.

“Was what true?”

“What you said back at the office, about the snipers?”

“Yep,” I said, popping the p. “Who did you think shot Penelope?”

“We weren’t sure,” he admitted, “We suspected one of your people, but Deen assured us that was not the case. We were then so busy getting her to the hospital and finding you that we didn’t revisit it. Dave and I talked about it, but neither could really remember everything that led up to that moment.”

“That’s understandable. I’m sure it was a lot. I mean, it was a lot for me to watch,” I confessed.

“So you were also watching us,” he stated more than asked.

“I was,” I confirmed, “I had three different angles showing different people and groups at different times.”

“How come you’ve never told us this?” he asked. His face somehow always seemed neutral, yet inviting.

It was a valid question. They couldn’t exactly do a write up of the case considering they weren’t even supposed to be on it, and on top of that worked with a group of known criminals without going through all that government red-tape bullshit, so I never talked about it. Not like anyone asked. “Wasn’t important at the time. You got me out, I got you out, end of story.”

“Clearly that’s not true,” Aaron stated, glancing around the room. I shrugged. “What is really going on?”

“If I tell you I think I fixed the problem once and for all, would you let it go?” I asked. He tensed his jaw and narrowed his eyes at me, so I relented. “People were breaking in.”

“Were?”

“That’s my hope, anyway. I think I solved the problem,” I said.

He skeptically looked at me. “The problem?”

“Yeah. The problem,” I repeated, trying not to open myself up too much for profiling. I didn’t want him finding out about Archer just so that I could lose any bit of credibility I had left with him.

“Did the problem have a name?” Aaron asked, “Maybe Howard Archer?”

Fuck. “Coincidence. Plus, I was with the girls all night at a concert.”

“And every minute can be accounted for?” he asked.

“Yes,” I confidently answered, “There was a short 20 minute period where I ran home to grab my jacket, but I’m sure you can see me on the security cameras.”

I kept waiting for him to respond, but he just kept looking at me. Scanning my facial features, body language that was changing, and things that weren’t changing. We just stood there in absolute silence, staring at each other. Is he gonna say something? Does he know? I’m sure he knows, but is he gonna turn me in? Should I say something?

Then Hotch saved me from my thoughts by moving to sit on the couch. He tilted his head which was my cue to go and sit next to him.

“You actually seemed to be doing pretty well,” he started. “You were readjusting.”

“‘Were’ being the key word,” I pointed out.

“They’ll come around.”

I scoffed in his face, “If I had a dollar for everytime someone has said that to me, I would be able to buy the BAU.”

“I’m sure, but every time it’s true,” he stated.

“How can it be?” I asked, getting slightly irritated, “If every time something goes wrong they turn on me, then I have to justify it, and then they have to ‘come around’ at what point is that not working anymore? At what point do they stop ‘coming around’ and start walking on eggshells, waiting for me to mess up?”

He expertly dodged my question, “Who says we’re waiting for you to mess us?”

“Your behavior!” I exclaimed. “If you aren’t waiting for me to screw up, then how come whenever anything goes wrong, I’m immediately the target?”

“But shouldn’t you be the target?” he calmly asked.

“Probably!” I was now shouting, “That’s the most irritating part! Is that most of the time, they’re right. I am causing problems and we have to trust each other with our lives which we clearly can’t do so I get their hesitation, but it’s not me all of the time. Like those videos, I had no choice, and while I get it, they don’t have any reason to hear me out, it still hurts knowing they actually believe I’d say those things and mean them.”

“So all of the stuff you said, every word, was a lie?”

“Correct.”

I saw the corners of his lips tilt up just slightly, “Even when you called me an emotionless robot who couldn’t care less about his team?”

“Oh no,” I teased, “that was definitely true. I’ve been looking for your charging port since I met you.”

He offered a small laugh and raised his eyebrows, “You will never find it.” It lightened the mood for a moment, but once it passed, I was back deep into my thoughts. Aaron could tell, though, always so perceptive. “If it makes you feel any better, Reid is apparently doing one hell of a job standing up for you.”

“Huh?” I gave him a confused look. “How do you know that?”

“Dave is with them right now,” Hotch held up his phone quickly, “You know, Reid has been a big proponent of yours throughout all of this, even when you were on the run after the hospital.”

“Has he?” I incredulously questioned, “He seems okay with me now, but back then? I thought he hated me, you know, shoving me up against a wall and all, asking me why I was helping.” Hotch opened his mouth but I stepped in, mocking, “Oh wait, let me guess. ‘He came around.’”

“You know what, he actually did,” Hotch answered me, more seriously than I had been. “Even when he acted like he was mad, and I’m sure he was, he seemed more hurt than anything. I know the two of you had something going on, but I didn’t realize how serious it was until you were gone.” I leaned forward, inviting him to continue. “I don’t know if you know this, I’m not actually sure Reid fully knows this, but he cares about you, a lot. More than either of you care to admit. I know you feel the same.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Maeve does as well,” I reminded him.

“That’s an excuse.”

“Excuse me?” I wasn’t prepared for how harshly he was calling me out.

“You know it is. I’ve never seen you back down from any challenge, yet, the moment there’s even the possibility of someone else being in Reid’s life, you just, give up?” I stared at him, jaw on the floor. “Why is that?”

I knew why. I’m sure he knew why. I’m not good enough. I’ll corrupt him. I’ll poison him. He already went to prison because of me, I don’t want to be the one to completely hurt and destroy him. But I didn’t want to confess that, so I went for, “I just don’t think he’s as interested in me as you think he is. Plus, Maeve is good for him.”

“So that’s the reason?” Hotch asked, addressing my added reason. “You don’t think you are good for him?”

“And you do?” I fired back, astonished. “Look at me! Look at what I’ve gotten him into! Prison, drugs, watching me murder people in front of him, nearly getting him shot by a sniper, the nightmares he’s having from all of the trauma I’ve put him through, not to mention everything I’m sure I’m continuing to put him through!”

Hotch grabbed me by the shoulders, and until that moment, I hadn’t realized I was shaking. “Aundreya!” I partially snapped out of it, and looked him in the eyes. “You did all of that for him.”

“Sure, but if I was normal-”

“You think Reid’s normal?” Hotch kept his voice raised, “Neither of you have been normal for your entire lives.”

“Exactly! So maybe he needs normal for one, maybe he needs something low stress, low pressure, and low risk like Maeve.”

“No,” he insisted, voice strong, “He needs someone who is willing to fight for him as hard as he's willing to fight for you. I’ve seen the way he fights for you, Aundreya, and while he was working hard to find Maeve, it wasn’t anywhere near the amount of effort he put into finding you. He was broken up when he thought something happened to Maeve, but he didn’t even allow himself the time to think about that when it came to you. He was so laser focused on putting the pieces together, that he wasn’t sleeping. He was barely eating. Maeve had to come to us because it got to the point where she was genuinely concerned for his health, and I made him take a forced vacation and ordered him not to think about you. In that moment, you know who he reminded me of? You.”

My mouth was dry, and my brain was still processing everything he was telling me. All I could manage was a small, “What?”

“When he got incarcerated, you had your own evidence board in your apartment, you spent every free moment thinking about him and trying to figure out who was really behind this. You didn’t sleep, and you didn’t eat. Finally, you just went into the prison to get him out yourself, and then you actually solved his case, putting yourself in the line of fire just so that he wouldn’t be. Sure, you didn’t come to us about what you’d figured out, but you were still trying to protect him, and all of us. You took matters into your own hands, and Reid was damn near close to doing the same thing.”

I struggled to find any words that could possibly respond to learning something like that. “I-I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. You were busy doing whatever it was you were doing, but you never asked. You never even looked into it. Because you run from your problems,” he stated, his voice back to one of calm neutrality. “Stop torturing yourself. Stop running.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

After Hotch left, I had a lot going through my mind. I just sat on my couch, staring out at nothing, thinking about everything he had told me.

Spencer was working that hard to find me? After everything I’ve put him through, he still cares about me? He’s been standing up for me? Okay, and what the fuck did he mean that Spencer was about to take things into his own hands? How could he have-

My thoughts were cut short by the vibrating of my phone on the small coffee table. I reached for it and saw Spencer’s name at the top. Speak of the devil. “Hello?”

“Hey, Aundreya, how are you doing?” his voice sounded a little horse and definitely groggy.

“About average. Just waiting to see if anyone decides that the night is ripe for apartment raiding. How about you?”

“You shouldn’t joke about that. You could get seriously hurt,” Spencer sounded concerned, and a bit frustrated.

“If I don’t joke about it, I’ll never survive it,” I replied. “But don’t worry about me, I know how to fend them off in my non existent sleep by now, and you never answered my question. How are you?”

“I am worried about you.” I could practically hear his small pout through the phone, “That’s why I was going to invite you over.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to do that,” I assured.

“I kind of feel like I do. I don’t want you constantly having to fight those people alone,” his voice was like velvet, spreading from the phone all the way through my body.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be alone.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, once they break in, I won’t be alone anymore,” I smirked.

“You’re terrible,” he feigned annoyance, but I could tell he was cracking a smile.

“But you already knew that,” I shot back.

“I did,” he sighed, “I’m serious, though. Please, come over. If not, I will drive to your apartment and wait with you.”

“No, definitely not,” I quickly responded.

“Great, so I’ll see you in about 15 minutes?” Genius bastard. Way to play off my fear of you being around when shit goes down.

I rolled my eyes, “Sure.”

When I got to his place, I didn’t even have to knock before the door swung open. He was standing in a pair of blue and black checkered pajama pants, but with his white dress shirt still on. It was unbuttoned slightly at the top, sleeves rolled up, and his tie was nowhere to be found. His hair was a bit of a mess and his feet were completely bare. I swallowed.

“Hi, come it,” he ushered me through the door.

“Hi,” I said, with a small smile on my face.

“What?” he asked, following my eyes as I scanned him up and down.

I shook my head, a cheeky smile on my face, “Just wondering what I’m interrupting.”

He gave me a sarcastic look. “Yeah, I was in the middle of changing.”

“Then by all means,” I gestured in the direction of his bedroom. He nodded, scurrying away from me while I scanned the room. It looked just like it had on that tv screen months ago, probably not a single book out of place. The curtains were open but it was dark outside, only the moonlight shining through. I quickly went over to shut them.

When I turned around, Spencer was now fully changed with an old MIT t-shirt on, watching me curiously. He looked confused and like he was about to ask me something, when I saw the lightbulb go off. “Oh, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think-” he started.

“Don’t be,” I cut him off, “You can’t remember everything.”

“I should,” he sounded irritated with himself, “I can’t imagine walking in here and having that be the exact same angle as the one you saw when-”

“Spencer,” I sternly got his attention, “It’s okay. The problem is solved. It’s not that big a deal.”

He sighed and looked down. “It is, though.”

I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, and it felt like the most natural thing I’d done all day. He raised his eyes to meet mine, and it was like I could see all the images flashing over his pretty eyes. “Don’t think about it. Please, when you look at me, don’t think about the things you saw, the things your mind can’t forget.”

“I’m trying,” he whispered, “I really am.”

“That’s all I ask,” I replied, forcing a smile.

“You know, if you ever want to talk about it-”

“I don’t,” I rejected, way too quickly. I could see the small amount of pain in his eyes, “But if I do, I’ll know I can come to you.”

That eased the tension a little, and he turned to walk to the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m okay, thank you,” I said. He returned with two bottles of water anyways and sat down in one of the small kitchen chairs, pushing one toward the opposite end. I sat across from him and took the bottle.

“You know that I was hooked on dilaudid for a while, but I never told you how I got started,” he murmured, fidgeting with the bottle cap.

“Spencer-”

“No, it’s okay. Within my first couple years at the BAU, there was a man named Tobias Hankle. He had multiple personalities, three to be exact, which is very rare. I got split up from JJ when we were searching for him, and he kidnapped me. He tied me to a chair and tortured me for what felt like months. Whenever Tobias’s personality was in control, he would give me dilaudid to help me deal with the pain. After the team came to rescue me, I stayed behind to grab the extra bottles.” At this point, he was tearing up, and his voice was quivering. I couldn’t imagine him having to go through that as a brand new agent barely into his 20s, and there was a pit in my stomach imagining him in almost the same situation I had just been in. “I became my own worst enemy. The drugs were making me angry to the point where I couldn’t even do my job properly, but I felt like I could no longer function without them. Once I ODed for the first time, I decided that it was time for me to get help. I’ve been sober for over six years now.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go through that. I’m impressed with your willpower,” I said, moving my hand to cover his.

“Impressed?”

“Yeah. When most people get hooked on drugs, to the point of ODing, they can’t stop. I’m amazing with your strength to stop and to stay clean all this time. I mean, you have a very stressful job,” I pointed out.

“That’s true, and thank you. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, and you can always come to me because I’m the last person who could ever judge you. I’m sure you’re tougher than I was and won’t make the same mistakes, but if you do, please talk to me. I’ll always help you,” he said, looking at me with big, watery eyes.

Without answering him, I stood up and gently pulled on the hand I was already holding toward me. He stood up and I wrapped my arms around him. We comfortably melted into the other’s embrace, entering our own safe bubble filled with warmth and compassion. When I pulled away, I assured, “I’ll always be here to help you, too.”

I tried so hard to keep my emotions at bay, but the way he looked at me pushed me over the edge. Right as the first tear slipped down my cheek, he brought his hand to my face and used his thumb to brush it away. With our arms still around each other, emotions flowing between us, he kissed me. Gently pressing his lips to mine, noses softly rubbing against each other’s, in our own infinite moment. He was so warm and so cozy that I didn’t want him to pull away when he did. I would have rather suffocated.

He scanned my eyes, and started, “I, um, I-I’m so-”

I brought my finger to his lips to stop him. “Shh. We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

He was silent for a moment before he nodded, “Okay. Do you want to maybe stay and watch something on the tv with me or…”

“I would, but I think I should get back home,” I said. Hotch’s voice came ringing back into my head. You run from your problems. Stop torturing yourself. Stop running.

But tonight was not that night. “O-oh. Are you sure it’s safe? I wouldn’t want you going home where you still have people breaking in.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I gave him a tight lipped smile. “Besides, I think I solved that problem.” I reluctantly moved myself out of Spencer’s arms and headed toward the door.

“Hey, Aundreya?” he asked, stopping me before I could leave.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to answer, but I wanted to ask. Why was I the only one without a video?”

I knew that question would come up at one point or another, either from him or another teammate. “Because you’re my weakness.”

His face scrunched up in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Which it didn’t, thinking from his perspective. If he was my weakness, wouldn’t DeLeon start there? I explained, “He was saving the best for last. He knew I wouldn’t be able to say those things when it came to you, and if I did, he was going to leave the live feed on to make sure that I ruined our relationship. If I couldn’t say those things, he was going to shoot you and make me watch. I luckily thought of a way out of that situation before it happened.”

“So all that about ‘I’m not capable of loving’..?”

“Probably true,” I confessed with a sad, bitter laugh. “But I don’t want it to be. I’m hoping it’s not.”

“It’s not,” Spencer said, with all the confidence in the world. “You’ve been to hell and back for most everyone you’ve ever worked with and cared about. That says something, and I believe that shows you are capable of love.”

“When I’m around you, I start to believe that’s true.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

I returned home, feeling more relaxed than I’d ever had, even confident in my ability to get a good night's sleep without intruders. But when I opened my apartment door, on the scratched up wall opposite me, there were big red letters spelling out three words:

This isn’t over.

I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed Mateo. Before he could even greet me, I rushed, “I was wrong, it wasn’t Archer. It’s been DeLeon this whole time.”

“And you killed Archer!” he screeched, “Do you know what you’ve done?”

“I was solving a problem,” I bit back, frustrated.

“The wrong one apparently. DeLeon is going to come for you now that you’ve broken your deal.” The panic in his voice sounded like it almost matched mine.

“I know. But this time, I’ll be ready.”

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

[superfanficnatural]

The Choice Part 3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Christian Grey x Reader 

Summary: Deciding to get over your crush on Dean, you find Christian, a mysterious billionaire that manages to split your heart into two. Finding out hidden truths, your decision becomes a hard one, who will you choose?

A/N: Here is part 3 guys, sorry it took me a while to write it! As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angry and Possessive Dean, Jealous Dean, Slight Fluff.

Word Count: 2,052

Italics are thoughts

Masterpost

Waking up, you felt strong, warm arms wrapped around your waist, a leg rested over yours. It was the most peaceful and comfortable you had ever felt in your life: you never wanted to leave. You felt Dean’s breath brush up against the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. Turning in his arms, you noticed the soft and relaxed look on his face. He looked so beautiful, a contrast to his usual demeanor, steeled with lines across his forehead and adorning his eyes. You wished you could take a picture, never forgetting this moment, but his iron grip made getting out of the bed a struggle. You couldn’t help the slight chuckle that fell from your lips, of course he’s a cuddler. His eyes twitched and you felt horrible for waking him up, wanting to stay in this moment at least a bit longer. His arms squeezed you a bit tighter as he was waking up, causing a smile to erupt on your face.

He cracked open his eyes, the green color almost blinding you, “Morning, sweetheart.”

He was too adorable for you to even think about being annoyed with him, “Morning sleepyhead, sorry I woke you.”

“Waking up with you in my arms? Nothing could get better than this,” he grumbled, his morning voice deepening it further.

You smiled and gazed into his eyes, losing yourself in them. Before you knew it, he began to lean in, you doing the same, mesmerized. Your lips connected with his, moving in sync as if they were used to the action. Your heart swelled before reality hit you and you pushed away, falling off of the bed with the exaggerated amount of force you put into it. Getting back up, you risked a look at Dean, confusion and hurt written across his handsome features. A small part of you felt horrible and you struggled to keep yourself from going back into his arms.

“That was- that was a mistake, I’m sorry,” you rushed, practically running out of the room.

Dean’s POV

Waking up with Y/N in my arms was probably the best feeling I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt so complete, so at peace. Seeing her beautiful face right next to mine as I woke up made me realize that I didn’t want to wake up without her in my bed anymore. Her beauty caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but lean in, silently reveling in the fact that she leaned in too. The first taste of her nearly made me pass out. Her perfect lips finally touching mine, it put all of my wet dreams to shame. I felt so contemptuous, not wanting to break it. As if she had fully woken up, she pushed me off of her, falling off of the bed in the process. It hurt, knowing that she only reciprocated the kiss because her mind wasn’t as awake as her body was. I couldn’t help the broken look on my face as she looked back at me with shock in hers, running out of the room, shattering my heart in the process. 

Y/N’s POV

How could I let that happen? Idiot.

You were reprimanding yourself, furious that you let your body dictate your actions. What pissed you off even more was the fact that it was incredible, you had never felt that way with anyone before, even Christian. You sat down in your bed back at your room, torn between two men. How the hell am I supposed to choose between a rich sexy stranger, and the man I have loved for years that played with my feelings? After a few moments, you felt your phone buzz on the table next to your bed, the screen lighting up with a text. Reaching over to grab it, you saw that it was a text from Christian, your heart skipping a beat. 

“Morning beautiful, how are you doing today?” the text read.

Your smile reached the corners of your eyes, such a gentleman.

“Morning handsome, I’m doing great! How are you?”

His text came back in a manner of seconds, “Tired and annoyed, I’ve had several meetings with people who had no idea how to help run a company, better now talking to you.”

“Seems like you’re very busy, sure you got time to talk to me?”

“I’ll make time, if it’s for you.”

Damn, he knows just the right words to make a girl feel special. 

“By the way, where do you live? I forgot to ask earlier.”

You took a second to think of what to say before deciding that it was harmless, “Lebanon, Kansas.”

“I’ve been there a few times to scope out possible locations for some buildings, beautiful place. What do you live near?”

“Yeah, it really is. I’m near the Webster County Historical Museum. Huge difference to Seattle though,” you responded with an emoji with its tongue sticking out.

Hearing a knock on your door, you put your phone down, “Come in!”

Sam peeked his head in, “Hey, breakfast is gonna be ready in a bit,” he said softly.

“Alright, I’ll be there soon, thanks Sammy,” you replied with a soft smile, the big brute such a softy. 

“It’s Sam,” he muttered as he closed the door, coaxing a small chuckle from you. 

Looking back at your phone, “Eh, Seattle has it’s perks but it also means thousands of people know who I am so I can barely go out in public and relax.”

Typing back your response, “Can’t relate but I can see the appeal. Hey, I’m gonna go eat breakfast, I’ll talk to you soon?”

“I’ll be waiting, have a nice meal,” he finished.

Getting out of bed, you made your way over to the kitchen, the smell of bacon wafting out into the hallway making your mouth water. Walking in, you saw Dean in front of the stove, cooking scrambled eggs and bacon, the table already set with Sam sitting in his seat, looking at his phone for a case most likely. He looked over to you with a slightly hurt expression but attempted to mask it with a smile; but you knew him too well to know that it was a facade. You felt terrible, if only I hadn’t kissed him this wouldn’t have happened. You sat down in your normal seat, Dean coming up and putting breakfast on the table. Although there was a slightly awkward tension in the air, it still went fairly well, everyone falling into a conversation.

“I still can’t find any cases, it seems like we are free for a few days,” Sam chirped, turning off his phone.

“I’m not complaining,” you added, Dean nodding beside you.

Finishing up breakfast and clearing the table, you walked back to your room, Dean and Sam going their own ways. 

Pulling out your phone you opened up your text conversation with Christian, “Hey there, breakfast is finished up, you manage to get anything to eat today?”

As if he was waiting for your text, he responded immediately, “I managed to get a bit in this morning. Do you want to go out tomorrow? I would say on a date but... you know.”

You took a second to compose yourself, his bluntness both refreshing and surprising, refreshing because you had always wanted a man who knew what he wanted.

“I would love to, but I’m over a day’s drive from you, I don’t see how we could.”

“You leave that to me, just say yes, please.”

Your heart leaped in your throat, he really wants to see me. Although you were confused as to how you would hang out, you really wanted to see him again as well, “Yes.”

“Perfect, tomorrow at 5pm, meet me at the front of the museum.”

“Sounds great, can’t wait to see you,” you responded cooly but were freaking out on the inside to know that he put everything aside and is making the trip to you just to see you again.

“Me too. Hey, I gotta get back to this meeting. I’ll be seeing you soon, beautiful.” You held the phone tightly in your hand and silently squealed, your excitement for tomorrow astounding. 

Leaving your room to go to the library, Sam and Dean were already sitting down, Dean on his phone while Sam was dived into yet another book. 

“You never get tired of reading do you?” you asked, catching their attention.

“Shut up,” Sam grumbled while Dean grinned.

You sat down in one of the chairs and got comfortable, putting your feet up against the table, prompting a bitch face from Sam at which you innocently smiled at.

“Hey, I was thinking, since there are no cases, maybe tomorrow night we could have a movie night?” Dean asked with a slightly hopeful look on his face.

Movie night sounded amazing, although it was somewhat rare, everytime that you guys had one it was always super fun. It was one of the only times that all of you were able to truly bond together, like a family. Though, you always hoped that Dean wouldn’t see you as a sister in his family, more his lover. Already having set a date with Christian, you were torn on whether you should reschedule for another time and watch the movie with the boys. The deciding factor was that Christian was willing to come all the way out to you just to see you again, which managed to move your heart in ways you could never have imagined. Besides, we can just have movie night some other time.

You felt like shit for saying what you were about to say, “I uh- I have a... date tomorrow.”

Sam looked absolutely shocked while Dean looked angry, “A date?? With who?” Sam questioned.

“Remember that hunt in Seattle? Well, I met someone and we are hanging out tomorrow,” you replied warily. Dean’s jaw clenched and jealousy was written across his face.

“Seattle is a day’s drive away, how?” Sam persisted.

You sighed, “His name is Christian Grey.”

Sam gasped, “That billionaire? You’re seeing him? Well shit, Y/N, attagirl.”

You couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips but when you saw Dean giving Sam a death stare, it quickly died out, Sam giving him a confused look in response. It was as if he remembered he wasn’t allowed to be jealous nor show Sam or you that he was, steeling his face and putting on yet another fake smile, “I hope you have fun,” he spat, getting out of his seat and making his way back to his room. Sam gave you a perplexed look at which you just shrugged and rolled your eyes, getting up and following Dean. I gotta see what the hell is going on with him.

You knocked on the door, “Dean? Can I come in?”

After a few seconds, you were about to knock again before you were stopped by a grumbled, “Come in.”

You opened the door and closed it behind you, seeing him standing next to his bed, his body facing you, a defeated yet slightly angry look on his face.

“What is going on with you?” you asked.

“Are you kidding me?!” he threw his arms up in the air, “You know exactly what’s going on,” he grounded out.

“No, actually I don’t. I’m not a mind reader Dean! Is this because I can’t make it to movie night?” you guessed.

“No of cours- fuck movie night!” he yelled out, making you take a step back.

“It’s because of that rich guy who’s stealing you from me!” he nearly screamed, his body inches away from yours, when the hell did he get so close?

You gasped, his admission rocking you to your core. Before you could respond, you found yourself pushed up against the door with his hands on either side of your head. His breathing was labored, face red with embarrassment with his mouth slightly open, the air ripping in and out of his mouth. You could feel the tension and possessiveness rolling off of him in waves, his scent along with it making your knees weak and your pupils to widen. 

“I’m not losing you to another man,” he growled before sealing his promise with a kiss.

Next Part

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee yet another cliffhanger, sorry y’all but this was too perfect to NOT cut it here.

The Choice Tag List: @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​ @spnfamily-j2​ @greenarrowhead​

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags: @akshi8278​

Female Reader Tags: @punof-agun​ @emoryhemsworth​

[luxurxously-pale]

Words Left Unsaid seven

word count-  4452

Adelyn let out a small breathy laugh nodding a bit, she let out a small sigh before she grabbed her previous clothes slipping them on and she carefully folded the shirt she was wearing before setting it on the bed. She started to pick at her lower lip realizing she was still in the slightly floaty headspace she was hoping to get out of but she was so stressed to the point it felt nearly impossible. She’s had a breakdown like this before..it was after the first time Jake found her except she didn’t have Spence to help her so she basically hid in a closet for a week and barely left it. She looked around his room before noticing he had a small closet with sliding mirror doors, she quickly went to it sliding it open glad to see the ground was bare besides a few pairs of shoes she sat down sliding the door closed again until it was only an inch open

Spencer spent around ten minutes on the phone before he walked into his room. Imagine the shock he felt when he realized she wasn’t there. He looked around until he found her in the closet. “Hey.” He smiled at her softly “I know you want to stay in this headspace and I wish I didn’t have to drag you out of it, though I need you out of it for only a little bit. You can be in it the whole rest of the night when it’s just me and you.” He explains softly “for now though I need you to get out of it. I promise tonight though you can be in it for as long as you want. I promise.” He holds his pinky out to her

Adelyn looked up at him her eyes full of stress and fear, her lower lip jutted out she wanted so desperately to just stay in the closet but she knew that she couldn’t she had to get Jake behind bars..she was about to link her pinky with his but she paused, “D..” she frowned a bit clearing her throat slightly, “Do you pwomise..?” She didn’t stop the slip up

He nods and smiles at her reassuringly. “I promise.” He tells her then links their pinkies. “Now we should get ready for the team to get here. They’ll have some questions and they’ll also most likely be hungry since it’s noon.” He tells her as he stands up “if you could tidy up the apartment that would be nice.” He smiles at her

Adelyn nodded a little and she gently tightened her pinky around his. She nodded a little, she carefully got out of the closet, “Yea..I can do that.” She smiled a little, she was hoping with that distraction she could not only slip out of little space but also to distract herself from her current situation

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze before going into the kitchen. Cooking proved to be hard when you had puppies following you around, begging you for food. They would occasionally bother Adelyn but they mostly stuck by Reid’s side. He chuckles “goodness they’re little trouble makers.” He tells her

Adelyn smiled and stopped cleaning when the dogs would come over she would gently pat their heads with a bright smile. She giggled a little, “They really are.” She smiled before she picked up books walking to the book shelf, “You- Spence this is a mess!” She looked over at him with wide eyes

He looks over at her and shakes his head with a chuckle “it’s not a mess! I just never really have any time to do more than what is currently done.” He shrugs, his messy bookshelf really wasn’t a big deal to him. “What’s a matter with it?” He asks her as he puts the food in the oven.

Adelyn made a gesture making a big circle in the direction of the entire bookshelf, “All of it!!” She exclaimed she had a bit of an ocd problem but nothing that couldn’t be managed, she started to organize it rather aggressively shaking her head a bit

He chuckles and shakes his head “it’s not bad at all.” He informs her and looks at her with an interested smile. “You know that’s going to take you literally forever to organize that right?” He asks her as he watches her. “It’ll be hours before you’re done.”

Adelyn glared slightly, “It really won’t.” She grumbled a bit she wasn’t going to admit defeat, this would be the perfect distraction for her. She carefully stacked the books she chewed on her lower lip debating if she wanted to alphabetize it by author or title

He let her do it as it seemed to help her a lot. She needed to calm down as much as she could because he knew the team wouldn’t be very easy on her. “Whatever you say.” He chuckles. He has a ton of books and knows it’ll take her a while. “I have some chocolate milk if you would like some while you organize my books.” He suggests to her as he gets a glass down already.

Adelyn nodded, “Yes please.” She mumbled a bit before she glanced at the shelf before starting to alphabetize them by title making little piles for each. She didn't really understand why it was so calming- maybe it was the ocd maybe it was the fact that her brain had to focus on something rather than her brain going a thousand miles a minute

He got her some milk and cookies, setting it down next to her. “Watch how many cookies you eat. Otherwise you’ll get a stomach ache.” He tells her sternly. He goes back in the kitchen to deep clean. During that time finally there was a knock on the door. “And the team is here sooner than expected. Usually they take an hour to get to someone’s house.” He shrugs as he walks towards the door. “How many cookies have you eaten?” He asks her

Adelyn nodded a little knowing damn well she wouldn’t watch how many she ate, she was always bad when it came to sweets which is why she tried to not have any in her house, she froze looking up at Spencer, “Uh..” she blushed a bit, “eight..?” She looked down a bit fiddling with the book in her hand

He chuckles and shakes his head, taking the cookies away. He welcomed the team into his house. “I have lunch in the oven.” Reid tells them as he allows them to sit down. “So how close has Jake gotten to you guys?” Hotch asks. “Too close for my liking. Adelyn knows Jake though.” Reid tells them, fearing she wouldn’t speak up herself

Adelyn chewed on her lip wishing the world would just eat her, she continued to organize the books trying to distract herself, “I uh.” She frowned adjusting the book that fell, “I was engaged to him about a year ago..And I’m pretty sure he’s here before of me…” she didn’t look at anyone of the members hoping they didn’t pry for information but she knew for a fact each of them would

They all let silence settle over them as they process that. “Okay so let’s up the efforts of catching this guy.” Hotch announces. “We can’t let one of our agents get hurt. We will inform homeland security that we have more than enough evidence that he’s a threat.” He announces. Reid walks over towards her. “I told you they would help.” He tells her quietly and smiles gently at her

Adelyn nodded a bit, “I don’t think it’s gonna be that easy..you guys don’t understand..'' She frowned, her eyes welding up with tears. She turned around to face the book shelf to try and keep herself in the right headspace to be in front of her team. Adelyn looked up at him with a frown allowing her tears to flow since it was Spence

“It’s okay.” Hotch tells her “we have a lot of people looking for him. Especially because we are using all of our sources.” He informs her. Reid didn’t want to show too much affection as he wasn’t sure how the team would react and didn’t want to cause more stress. “I’m sure we will catch him. Don’t worry about it.” Reid assured her

Adelyn looked over at hotch quickly wiping away her tears, “I hope so.” She mumbled a bit before she turned back to the bookcase, continuing to organize the book shelf, “If I need to, I'll write up a detailed letter about everything that happened when I was dating and engaged to him.” She spoke quietly looking over at Spence mostly

“Well that might be helpful.” Hotch comments after a second of silence. “Whenever you’re ready to do that we would all appreciate it for sure.” He nods. “Is there anywhere here in town you think Jake would go to a lot?” Derek speaks up. “Like a favorite restaurant or club?” He asks her

Adelyn nodded a little, “I go to this cafe by my house a lot..” she frowned a bit, “god I’m so fucking stupid.” She mumbled, shaking her head, “Come to think of it, there was always the same man there everytime..same seat and all.” She frowned a bit, “he always had a bag and a seemingly empty mug..had a laptop open but it was always open to google.” She frowned

Hotch and Reid made eye contact. “Well we will set up undercover agents around the shop.” Hotch tells them. “If that’s where he always goes then it’ll be easy to catch him.” Reid points out. “Yes but we need to catch him in the act. We can’t just arrest a man for ‘no good reason’ it won’t look good on the FBI” Morgan points out.

Adelyn snorted, “Can you arrest him for domestic abuse?” She meant it as a joke but she knew nobody would find it funny, she looked over at Spencer chewing her lip, “What if we use me as bait?” She questioned

Hotch shook his head no "We can't do that yet...unless you have photos or videos that prove it" He suggests to her. "We are absolutely not using you as bait!" Reid exclaims, upset she would even suggest that. "That might help Reid," Morgan points out. "No, it's not happening." Reid says sternly

“I might…My best friend at the time documented it promised to go to the cops but that never happened..I didn’t let her but that’s not important right now..I’ll check my stuff when I get home.” She looked over at Reid and frowned, “Why not?” She questioned crossing her arms

"Because you're going to get hurt" He argued with her. "you're being so stupid right now. We can't risk losing an agent'' Reid tells the team. Hotch sighs "We might be able to get a case started with the small amount of information we have now but it'll take a really long time to build up a good case. We should follow Adelyn's idea." Hotch sides with her. "Absolutely no way" Reid replies

Adelyn opened her mouth then closed it at his insult. She wrapped her arms around herself looking up at hotch, “If I go to him begging to be by his side and such he would give in..he was going to before I left.” She chewed on her lip

"Oh my god this is stupid" Reid groans, he hated this plan as it had such a high probability that she would get hurt. Hotch chose to ignore Reid. "When do you think is the fastest you could get in contact with him?" He asks her. "the faster we go, the better. We need you in and out so we can prove he did a crime." Reid was holding back the urge to strangle the hell out of hotch

Adelyn took her lip between her teeth thinking her eyes widened a bit, “At my apartment..I have my old phone..it’s shut off so he couldn’t have tracked me but it probably has everything still..numbers and such.” She nodded a bit she looked over at Spencer she knew she shouldn’t have been hurt that he called her stupid but she also knew it hurt since they had gotten so close and how vulnerable she is with him.

Hotch nods “alright. Reid, you drive her to her apartment and set up the phone. Get this all done ASAP. The faster we find this asshole the less people he will be able to hurt.” He informs them. Reid angrily grabbed his keys “alright let’s get this over with.” He says as he walks out. “Don’t take it personally. He doesn’t like it when people do what he says not to.” Morgan tells Adelyn.

Adelyn nodded to Hotch, she grabbed her phone she left out from yesterday. She looked over at Derek and nodded slightly letting out a small sigh she followed behind Spencer hoping he would calm down and not yell at her in the car

Spencer kept his anger level down as he didn’t wanna scare her off. He sat in the driver's seat and looked at her. “I’m worried about you and I think this is incredibly stupid.” He tells her with a sigh. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this.” He shakes his head

Adelyn got into the car shortly after him buckling up. She looked down at her lap before over at him, “I..I’m just tired.” She answered as if it would magically answer all of his questions, she brought her legs up to her torso to try and get comfortable

He sighs and shakes his head before starting to drive. He was trying hard to not show how angry he is. “I’m going to need directions to your apartment. You’ve only been over to my place, I’ve never been over to yours.” He reminds her quickly

Adelyn nodded, “Right right. Sorry.” She shook her head a bit, “It’s on Kirkland..uhh I think it’s three lefts, a right, then four houses down on the left side.” She ran a hand through her hair

He nods, immediately memorizing the directions. He gets them to her house “are you sure you want to do this or are you only doing it to make Hotch happy?” Reid asks her as he shuts off the car. “I don’t want you doing something you’ll regret later on. I’m worried about you.” He tells her honestly.

Adelyn looks over at him, “Spence…I’ve been trying to outrun him for a year and always end up with him one step behind me. Of course I want to do this. Am I scared? Absolutely, I’m terrified. But that just proves he’s winning.. Spence I’m tired of him winning..” her eyes geared up as she let the words slip past her lips.

He sighs as he knows she’s doing what she thinks is right. “Well if you get hurt I’m going to be very upset with you.” That was the most approval she was going to get out of him. He didn’t approve of this but he would just be a quiet bystander this time. He opened the car door and walked up to her apartment with her

Adelyn let out a snort hearing him, shaking her head she slid out of the car. Once they get up to her apartment she stands on her toes to grab her key from the top of her door frame. She was really hoping Spencer wouldn’t comment about it considering she knew how stupid it was

He thought it was stupid but didn’t tell her it. He walked into her apartment and looked around, studying what it looked like. It really did look like something she would own, matching her personality perfectly. “Your apartment is nice.”

Adelyn shut the door after he came in, she smiled a bit hearing the compliment, “Thank you! You can go to the kitchen if you want, there's probably coffee and snacks.” She smiled before pointing to the right where the kitchen was. She walked to the guest room- which was really just a storage room with a bed. She ran a hand through her hair looking at all the boxes she saw the one with the town she dated Jake in and opened it moving things around in it to find her old laptop and phone. Once she found them she walked to the living room

Reid sat down and tried to calm down his nerves. She would be fine, the team would keep a close eye on her. “I can’t go with you to meet up with him as who knows what his reaction will be if he finds you with another guy.” He tells her softly. “I can be on the outskirts but I can’t be right next to you like I wish I could be.”

Adelyn nodded a bit sitting down at the couch after grabbing chargers for the two hoping they were charged. “I know…and his reaction would definitely not be good.” She sighed a bit, turning on each electronic smile when she saw they were charged.

He nodded slowly, he was nervous. He was shaking as he didn’t know what this man would do to her. “Well if you need me I’ll be right outside wherever you guys meet up at.” He promises her “I promise I won’t let you leave my sight. I’ll watch carefully.” He wanted to protect her but felt like he was failing

Adelyn logged into each of them and scowled a bit seeing the home and lock screens, they were of Jake and Adelyn near the beginning of the relationship when she thought everything was okay, “I know Spence.” She smiled a little looking up at him, she chewed on her lower lip looking back at the phone opening her gallery, “You can look through here for photos…I’ll look through my laptop.” She frowned a bit not truly wanting Reid to see the extent of the abuse

He mentally prepared himself before opening up the photos. He looked through “well a lot of these photos do show some type of abuse but you can’t prove that it’s him.” He points out “you need something with him actually hitting you for it to be considered conclusive.” He informs her of the law even though he knows she knows it

Adelyn held up a finger, “I have security footage on my laptop just trying to find the right file..” she sighed a little before pulling up a clip she looked away from the screen as it played out. (What the video is) It was what looked to be a front door. Jake had his hand tightly wrapped around her arm, “God fucking damnit Adelyn! Why did you have to fuck that up?! You should’ve just stayed silent but no you decided you needed to be a stupid fucking bitch who needs to outsmart everyone!” He was full on shouting he raised his hand and strikes her..adelyn quickly paused the video blinking away tears her hands shaking

Reid’s attention was quickly brought to the video once he heard the sound. Immediately he felt his heart sink as he watched it. He slowly pulled her into a comforting hug. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He reassured her softly. “I’m here now and I’m not ever going to let him do anything like that again.”

Adelyn curled into him a little, “I know…” she whispered out. She wished she met Spencer before she met Jake, her life would’ve been so much easier and better, “Is that enough evidence?” She asked to shut the laptop, setting it aside so she could properly curl into him.

He nods and plays with her hair “you did such a good job and I’m so so proud of you.” He smiles down at her “now he gets to go back away and you’ll never see him again.” He promises her and hugs her a little tighter to make her feel safer

Adelyn nodded a little and she closed her eyes trying to relax, “When is this all happening..?” She asked to shift a bit to get comfortable, she really hoped it wouldn’t be today. She just wanted to relax with Spencer

“I’ll take your laptop as soon as you want to the BAU and then they’ll take it in for testing and all that.” He explains to her “then I’m not sure when we will be going to trial for it but you’ll have to get up on the stand and tell everyone about what he did.” He tells her softly

Adelyn stiffened at the fact she would have to testify. She looked up at him, “Do I truly have to?” She questioned being embarrassed about the entire situation she knew she shouldn’t be but she couldn’t help it.

He nods softly "I know that it's scary and shit but you don't want him hurting anyone else right?" He asks her softly. "I know that you're a caring person and don't want others to go through what you went through." He tells her "So don't let them go through that" he plays with her hair "Now what do you want to do?" He wanted to make her feel better

Adelyn nodded a little and frowned, “I don’t..” she sighed a little and moved her hair so it wasn’t in her face, “I..I’m not sure but you gave me a promise.” She giggled a little moving back a bit to look up at him

He chuckles softly and looks down at her. "Well I did want to talk to you about something quickly." He tells her. "So I've been thinking and I don't know if you know what this is but do you think you're a little?" He asks her softly. "If you don't know what that is I can explain it to you." He offers her. He was just curious and was wondering what she thought on the subject

Adelyn tilted her head to the side confused, “A what?” She questioned whether she wasn’t really sure what it was he was saying. The term had never been brought up to her, she hoped it was nothing bad

“A little. It means you like being taken care of and you like acting younger than you are.” He explains, playing with her hair. “You look for someone who can take care of you which is typically called a daddy but not always.” He tells her. “Do you think that sounds like you because I think it does.” He tells her “I think you’re a little and you just didn’t know.”

Adelyn nodded a little, “yes…at certain points it does apply..is it a bad thing?” She asked a little worried not only worried it was bad but something he didn’t like. She moved a bit closer out of that fear, her brain started to enter the headspace simply from the panic and stress of the Jake situation but the added stress of Spencer disliking whatever it was he spoke of

He chuckled softly “no it’s not a bad thing.” He lets her get as close as she wants to. “I don’t mind it. I was just wondering if you saw it too. I wanted to know if I was crazy or not.” He chuckles. He rubs her back “no need to worry so much. You’re going to make yourself twice as old if you spend all your time worrying.” He tells her softly. “Breathe in and out.”

Adelyn let out a whiny sound hearing him ‘reprimand’, “Spencie..” she mumbled nervously picking his hand up and started playing with his fingers, she wasn’t really sure what she wanted in the moment but she did know she wanted cuddles from the man holding her

He rubbed her back and laughed at her reply. “I’m just telling you! I doubt you want to look 80 when you’re forty.” He tells her as a joke. “I think you’re beautiful all the time but it’s statistically shown that women lose self confidence the more stressed they are.” He explains “which means your confidence levels are decreasing currently.”

Adelyn let out another whiny noise at it, she shook her head a bit uninterested in the fact disliking what it was explaining. She pouted and pulled away from him scooting to the side a bit crossing her arms still pouting.

He chuckled softly “you might be able to escape me but you can’t escape me tickling you.” Reid had figured out she was tickling when she would guard her stomach around people. Sure that’s a sign of abuse but it seemed to have two meanings. He immediately went to her sides to start tickling her. “Apologize for pouting.” He tells her with a smile “and I’ll stop.”

Adelyn loud out a loud squeal before erupting into laughter she squirmed around hoping to get out of his clutches, “Sp-spenciee!” She whined a bit as he spoke she shook her head trying to pout again but failed to do so due to laughter

He chuckles “you know what you have to do to make it stop.” He informs her. “I’ll stop tickling you when you apologize for being all pouty.” He liked seeing her smile. He had missed it for the past couple of days as she had mainly been stressed. “I’m listening. Don’t keep me waiting.” He warns with a laugh

Adelyn squirmed more, her ribs starting to laugh, “okay!! Okay!!” She nearly shouted, “I-I’m sorry!” She squirmed struggling to talk without laughing

He chuckles and stops “see? Wasn’t that easy?” He asks her as he scoops her up and puts her in his lap. “You’re adorable when you laugh. See now you’re not going to look eighty when you’re forty.” He jokes and taps her nose. “Keep the smile on your face.”

Adelyn smiled brightly at him when he scooped her into his lap, she moved a bit so she was straddling him since it would be more comfortable for her. She turned red at his compliment and quickly hid her face in his neck letting out a small whine.

He chuckles softly and plays with her hair. “You know you’re something else adelyn.” He tells her softly. A thought crossed his mind, he decided to go with it. “I was wondering if you’d like to go see a movie or something.. as like a.. date you know?” He asks. He was nervous and kind of stuttering over his words. He’s been thinking about asking about this for a while.

[therainbowstuffs]

Cheryl Blossom - The Unsaid (Part 2)

Part 1 

Warning; everything that is Riverdale.

A/N; I had a hard time writing about this. Kept deleting it. Tell me if this make sense to you after reading the first one? Because idek anymore, my head is a mess.

The sudden disappearance of the HBIC of the Riverdale High was suspicious to say the least but no one really cares except for you.

It was miserable for you to act like you were fine, or maybe nonchalant over the fact that you actually knew what was the reason of the disappearance of Cheryl Blossom like everyone else.

Many messages and voicemails you have sent but none of them were answered by your girlfriend. You were very worried, anxious and it shows to everyone else, especially to your friends. But you couldn't risk anyone to know that you had a slight interest in Cheryl Blossom's life.

You were desperate to know whether she was safe, you were desperate for help but couldn't risk anymore of Cheryl's life by making it obvious. That devious mother of your girlfriend's was painfully hard to read, hard to expect and it makes you even more worried about your girlfriend.

You still could remember the cunning, smug smile on her face when you confront her, days after Cheryl's disapperance. It makes you wanna rip the smile off her face but you knew you were risking Cheryl's safety more if you made any slight mistake.

You weren't doing any good. It wasn't you to be this quiet nor anxious and it was getting obvious that you were disturbed by something.

You did everything you could to scoop informations on your girlfriend's whereabouts, be it from Betty, Kevin and even your own best friend, Toni, should they had heard about your girlfriend.

You were desperate, at this point.

It wasn't until weeks later when the said person finally appeared, looking like her usual self, nose high as she walked confidently through the hall.

Keeping your calm, you followed Cheryl with your eyes but the latter didn't even spare a glance towards you when she passed by.

Whispers were everywhere but you heard nothing, mind filled with questions. But partly relieved to see that she was well.

Impatiently went through the classes for the day, you waited for the right time to finally confront the girl.

You sneaked in when you made sure it was only her in the locker room, watching her quietly.

You weren't sure how to start.

Cheryl's movement started to slow down when she felt the presence but she made no move to face you - struggling to control herself from whatever she was dealing inside her mind.

"Cheryl."

The sound of your voice caused her to flinch, making you frown at the sight. You were surprised at the cold tone she had used when you tried to approach her.

"Stop. Don't come near me."

You reached out and tried to take her hand but she recoiled, pushing yours roughly - away from her.

"Don't touch me, snake."

Your heart quickened at the look on her face and the venom she had in her voice. "Babe, what is going on?"

"I want you nowhere near me. We're done. Forget that we ever exist. Do you hear me?" She glared at you.

Cheryl was quick to leave but you were quicker to block her.

"Wait, Cheryl. What's going on? Can you at least explain to me? Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" You tried to grab her hand again.

Cheryl scoffed, slapping your hand off hers. "Get your dirty hand off me!" She gritted her teeth, glaring at you one last time before stomping out of the room - leaving you confused and heartbroken.

Days after days, you still couldn't get the answers. But you were extremely worried so you had to dig information out of Betty. She was hesitant to tell you so you acted nochalant, apologizing for asking and said that you were only curious - like everyone else.

So you had no choice but to investigate it yourself.

You were shocked to say the least, to learn the fact that Cheryl was sent to some place so she could heal or some shit but not really surprise when it comes to the devil Cheryl had as a mother.

But you didn't understand the treatment you got from your girlfriend.

Is she.. okay? What had happened? Is she.. seriously believing stuffs she was told back in that place her mother had sent her? A place to cure her?

Questions were filled inside your mind. And you wanted the answers.

"Are you seriously cured?" You casually rested your body next to her locker where she was standing, crossing your arms.

"As a matter of fact, yes." She closed her locker harshly. "I finally realized how wrong it was, with you." She stood straight - staring at you blankly.

You scoffed. "Lies. I believed nothing that came out of your mouth." You straightened up and started to approached her slowly, watching her expression started to flattered. "Out with it."

Cheryl clenched her teeth, "Don't come near me, freak. Mother was right about you. I was blind, foolish. What we had was not real."

You stepped right in front of her, titling your head while you listened to her calmly. "Is that why I have been getting this kind of treatment from you, huh? Because you have cured. Because it was a mistake?"

"Yes. I was delusional. What we had was not real. It was a mistake. You're a scum, a snake. I was foolish." Cheryl gritted her teeth, mumbling it out quickly and immediately averted her eyes away from you.

You hummed, nodding - watching how she trembled when you're in her space. "Alright." You stepped back, glancing at her tight grip around her bag. "See ya around, then." You smirked, masking your real expression before walking away.

Day after day, you went through it all like usual. Except, no more sneaky glances, no more making out in the closet, no more you and her. It was really the end.

It wasn't really believable what she said when she continued acting like she was still your girlfriend by how petty she was when it comes to Betty and the girls you befriend with.

She was starting to make it obvious by how furious she was, how worsened her behaviour have become when you was dared to kiss one of the girls in one game you played at Veronica's party that one night.

You watched her taking shots after shots and wilding on the dance floor by herself - drunk.

You chuckled humorlessly, shaking your head at the irony of the situation. She broke your heart but you are still here, pining over her and still watching her - trying to protect her.

Deep down you know she still loves you. Curse that cured shit. You didn't believe it. Cheryl was the one who wanted to come out, who doesn't want to hide. She was desperate when it comes to you. She was proud to have you. She was happy.

But you refused, you edged her on with the mysterious vibes, you lured her in for the secret affair, you excites her at the feeling of the adrenaline everytime you both did the sneaking.

You created games for her to play. You had to, for her sake. This game that had you both addicted to it. The game that had your heart broken. You both lose. Game over.

It was too dangerous. Be it for her mother's reputation and her hatred towards you or your position as a serpant. Too risky, too dangerous for Cheryl. You couldn't risk it.

Cheryl was right. It was a mistake.

It was a mistake to put your heart on the line. It makes you weak. The love you had for her was too addictive. She was like a drug. A dangerous one and it left you miserable. Broken.

Like a hawk watching its prey, your eyes followed every movement of the love of your life; your ex girlfriend while she moved on the dance floor.

You straightened up, sipping your drink before putting it away when you saw a guy leaning over her - offering her a drink with a kind smile on his face.

You were alarmed and it doesn't take long for you to move when you saw the scene in front of you.

She was getting drowsy, intoxicated to realise what was happening when he steered her away from the crowd.

You cursed, dodging the sweaty mess that was on the dance floor in rush. You were too stupid to let this happened at the first place.

The girls was the next to realize what was happening at the sight of Cheryl being ushered by a guy suspiciously like that.

They grabbed Toni to follow as well, not realizing you were there.

It was red. You saw red. You didn't realize anything else, your body was moving on its own, pulling his body before he could do anything and beat the crap out of him.

You can't see anything but him, hear anything but his cries, feel anything but his flesh, smell anything but his blood.

"Y/N!" The girls were terrified by this side of you but Toni was there to pull you away before you could kill him for real. "Hey, hey." Toni hold you close, trying to calm you down.

You were breathing hard. You were crying now.

"It's okay, breathe, babe. Follow me, alright?" Toni tried and tried until you started to calm down.

The other girls were watching you sadly while tending to Cheryl's need, calming the girl as well.

You closed your eyes, heart finally returned to its normal beat, breathing was finally easier to suck in the air. You cursed softly, "Sorry. I.. I saw him. I saw Cheryl. He.."

"Hey, you're alright now. Breathe again. Slowly." Toni rubbed your back.

You nodded, looking up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. Is she.." You gulped, not wanting Cheryl to see that side of you but mostly concern.

Veronica and Josie smiled to offer you comfort. "She's okay. Passed out, but okay."

Betty fixed Cheryl's position on the bed and pulled the comforter on her before slowly moved to you.

"I'll get the boys to drag this stupid ass out of this room, okay? Breathe, babe." Toni rubbed your shoulder softly before leaving.

"You okay?" Betty sat with you on the floor, reaching out a hand on your cheek.

You nodded wordlessly, trying to focus on making yourself calm down. You were exhausted. It was like all your frustration and anger was dumped on that jerk.

Fangs and SweetPea arrived, glancing at you worriedly and took the limp body out of the room without so much noise. Toni was thinking of staying for you but you gestured for her to follow them.

"I'll grab some water for you, and stuffs to tend to your hands, alright, babe?" Josie touched your shoulder softly before moving out of the room.

Veronica was next to move. "Party's over. Gonna chase them out, be right back, okay?" She smiled at you.

There was you, Betty and the unconscious Cheryl left in the room. It was silent but not suffocating, like you thought it would be everytime Betty and Cheryl was in the same room.

Betty said nothing else but pulled your head to rest on her shoulder. You exhaled and wrapped your arms around her, taking care of your bloody hands away from her dress, before letting your whole body relaxed in the arms of your bestfriend.

"It makes sense, now." She grasped you tighter against her, pulling you closer - almost afraid to let you go, to finally face the truth. "Cheryl is the lucky girl, isn't she."

You slumped even more when you heard what she was whispering in your ear, finally letting it all out - the relief, the burden, the sadness, the frustration, the pain.

The unsaid words by your tears.

---

You weren't lucky that same night.

You didn't remember anything rather than a bunch of men surrounding you after that night, half an hour after you have resisted an offer to another hangout by the gang. You remember dismissing Toni's concern to accompany you home, excusing yourself to sleep it off, wanting to be alone.

You were by yourself on your way home and there was a bunch of men appeared out of nowhere. You weren't drunk but you were defenseless against so many fist coming at you.

It was quick for you to have your knees on the ground, receiving another blow before you finally surrendered, face planted first onto the ground.

It was a blur, you remember nothing except for the fact that you weakly dragged your bloody arse to your trailer and woke up the next morning with pain all over your body and face.

The news of you appearing to the school looking badly wounded was spreading pretty fast. Whispers was all over the place but you gave no attention to any of them, still pondering over the fact that you got ambush out of nowhere.

The gang was furious when they learned the fact that you were alone when you got beaten up. They wanted answers but you dodged them perfectly, knowing this wasn't the usual fight between the gangs but was personally aimed at you.

"Easy there, Cooper." You dodged her hand, hissing at the touch when she tried to dab a cotton on one of your cuts on your face.

"Sorry." Betty mumbled, fingers softly grazed over your wound in worry while she tried to clean up the fresh cuts.

"Ow, Betts!" You flinched away, "That hurts." You protested, mumbling yet another curse when she dabbed another cotton on your cuts.

"Then stop getting hurt for real, Y/N/N." She slumped her shoulders sadly when you pushed her hands away, flinching in pain everytime she attempted to clean your wounds.

You shrugged carelessly, "Part of the job, sweets." You smirked, snatching the cotton from her hand.

Betty sighed, crumpling the tissues in her hand in frustration. "Just.. Please. Be careful. I'm worried. I'm always worried about you."

"I will, Betts. I was just unlucky last night. Won't happen again. Promise."

"You can't promise me that." She mumbled sadly as she picked the used tissues into a paper bag. "Are you gonna be okay? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Betts, I'm gonna be okay. This is nothing, alright? Go." You shooed her out. "I'm going to meet Toni after this. Don't you worry."

She nodded and paused, staring at you softly and was about to give you a hug when the door of the room opened, causing her to backed away quickly as if she was doing something wrong.

You frowned at her gestures and looked over at the cause of her panic.

"My bad. I thought no one's here." Cheryl shrugged nonchalantly, crossing her arms - not daring to meet your eyes but stood there, not making any move to leave.

"I'm gonna leave anyway." Betty mumbled knowingly. "Take care, babe."

She cared nothing but you at the moment, despite having Cheryl in the same room when she took the risk to gave you a hug, making sure to put her hand on the back of your head before pulling you into her shoulder - to purposely piss Cheryl off.

You smiled knowingly, glancing to see the annoyed expression on her face. "You too, please." You rubbed Betty's arm soothingly before letting Betty go, leaving you and Cheryl alone in the room.

"Does she know?" Cheryl mumbled after a moment of silence, still not meeting your eyes.

You exhaled softly. "Did you get into a trouble last night, after the party?"

"Did you?" She let down her guard and finally take a look at you, clenching her teeth at the sight of you badly wounded.

"Nothing I can't handle." You shrugged, wincing at the pain when you licked your cut on your upper lip. "I wanted to know, Cheryl."

She met your eyes as her arms loosened around herself. "Thank you.. for last night."

"For goodness sake, Blossom." You closed your eyes in frustration. "Stop avoiding the question."

"You avoided mine." She retorted, walls back up again. "Does she know?" she repeated - her voice was firm.

You sighed. "Yes. But I didn't tell her." You looked up to her, "Don't worry, alright. Your secret is safe. She won't tell anyone." You dissed.

Cheryl closed her eyes for a moment, cooling herself down before approaching you. You watched on quietly when she put her hands on your face softly, frowning over the cuts and bruises on your skin.

"Where else?" She whispered softly, eyes meeting yours in that same way that made your heart flutter while she caressed your skin gently with her thumbs.

"Why do you care?" You whispered back, watching her trying to control her emotion, waiting for her to crack.

"I cared. Always."

"That wasn't what you said the other day."

"It was still a mistake, Y/N."

You huffed, pushing her hands off your face. "What are you trying to play, Cheryl?" you looked at her, wanting her to just tell the truth. "Out with it, I'm tired of this shit."

Cheryl groaned, rubbing her face with her hands and decided to just be honest with you. "Y/N, I just wanted to protect you."

"Your mom did this." You stated knowingly. "And you tried to do these stupid stunts, to steer me away from you so you could protect me." You scoffed. "I'm a serpant, Cheryl. I could take care of myself."

Cheryl glared, eyes teary in angry tears. "You have no idea how scared I was when she threatened me to hurt you. I was always scared, you have no idea because you were always busy getting yourself hurt for getting into fights. I don't want you to get hurt anymore! My mother wanted to hurt you if I didn't do what she had asked me to! I wanted to protect you! You're selfish for saying that to me!"

You gritted your teeth. "You are not being completely honest with me."

"You knew where I was." Cheryl clenched her jaw tightly, glaring at you.

"And you expect me to believe all shits you've said to me the other day?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "I had to investigate it myself. Because I was worried!" you frowned. "You wouldn't want to be honest with me. You pushed me away even after I know where you were."

"I had to, Y/N."

"I wanted to protect you too, Cheryl. Which was why we couldn't be together, at least until we figure something out." You sighed. "But things happened and I was scared. You wouldn't let me in."

"Which was the exact reason why I had to push you away." Cheryl looked at you sadly. "I wanted to come out, remember? But I didn't realized what you were always scared of until we got caught. You were worried for me. But it's different now. My mother wanted to hurt you. Look at what happened, Y/N. She paid some gang to beat you up. God knows what else she would do to you if I didn't listen to her."

"Cheryl, please. I wanted to know what happened. I want you to be honest so we could solve this together. Not you dealing with it alone. We're in this together." You reached out softly, cupping her cheeks in your hands. "Come on, it's me. Stop acting so tough around me." You softened your tone, trying to coax her to let it all out. "Tell me everything."

She paused, looking into your eyes in silent.

"Let me in." You begged her.

She held your hands that was on her face gently as she took a deep breath.

"I thought of you every single day, Y/N." She whispered, looking up at you. "I was scared." She admitted. "I thought I was tough. I thought I could fight her like I used to. I thought we could finally be free. I wanted to be with you. But I couldn't do it anymore. She let me went through it all for weeks until she made a deal to let me out. For me to end things with you, to pretend that nothing had happened." She sobbed. "I thought I could do it, but I can't. She would hurt me. She would hurt you if I refuse, Y/N."

"Hey, hey, hey." You brought her face to look at you when she started to cough violently, sobbing till she can't really breath properly. "Breathe. Follow me, baby. Calm down, please. Take it easy." You tried to calm her down, kissing her forehead and rubbed her back softly. "There. Good job, baby." You whispered when she started to calm down.

"I don't want you to get hurt." She whispered after a moment of silence.

"I won't, baby."

She looked up, frowning. "But you did."

"Because we weren't honest from the start." You wiped her tears. "We're going to make this right. No more stupid stunts, baby. That wasn't really believable from the start but it still hurts."

"Sorry. But I was good though."

"Pffft no baby. Your jealousy made it very obvious. And to be honest? What do you think this is? Some kind of stupid cliches of a drama series?" You grinned. "I appreciate the thought, though."

Cheryl cupped your face softly, trying to find your eyes to meet hers. "I want to fight her, baby."

"Then you will have me by your side. Always." You spoke gently.

Cheryl smiled, rubbing your nose with hers softly. "This is so cheesy."

"You started it by getting all dramatic on me about us." You smirked. "What we had was not real. It was a mistake. I was foolish." You mocked her, chuckling a little when she glared at you. "We had to end it with a happy yet cheesiest ending you could ever ask for. But I didn't appreciate the name calling though."

"Didn't they say that love makes you stupid though?"

"So you admit you were being stupid then?"

"...yes. In order to keep you safe. Don't forget that."

You laughed but moaned in pain from your bruises on your rib. "I forgot about the pain for a moment."

Cheryl frowned. "She's going to pay for that. I have plans but let's focus on you right now, okay, baby?" She caressed your lips gently, being careful not to apply more pressure on the cut.

"On you too. I want you to tell me what's on your mind, what you feel and everything. No more secrets. Let's take care of each other, alright?"

Another smile blossomed on her lips, "I promise, baby." She paused, looking up into your eyes once again. "I love you." She breathed out softly, eyes teary - relieved that she got to say it this time.

You knew, but it felt good to hear it.

"I love you, too."

[chilvanakin]

If I had to remember how it started, I would have to replay the flashback of being told that when I became obese at 15, that I couldn’t “come crying”. I was 8 when my dad told me this. Afterwards, I had this increasing feeling of being in the wrong body, like I had been misplaced at birth and was suddenly realizing it. I looked around at everyone else, having fun and enjoying their childhood while I compared me to them. I compared me to my best friend who I often I asked, “why can’t I look like you?”

I felt misplaced in a body that was my own, always had been, because someone else told me I was. How do you teach an 8 year old to go on a diet? I loved food, I was a picky eater but aren’t we all at that age? So how do you tell them that they need to change and that they don’t look pretty enough without traumatizing them? My dad now reafirms that he only said that to me because he wanted me to have high self esteem. He wanted me to “take care of myself”.

I developed anorexia at 14. I became obsessed with diet culture, “clean” eating, and exercising until I colapsed. I used my notebooks for tracking my daily intake and writing hateful messages to myself. I would motivate myself through my own hatred. Slowly, I decreased my meals until they weren’t even meals anymore. I thought I was being “healthy” by going on 3 to 4 day fasts, thinking that the kiwi I had before I began was enough. Newsflash, it wasn’t. But I continued.

My family situation got complex during this time. My parents were separated and I felt alone. I distanced myself from my friends and I had also stopped going to school. Everytime I talked to my dad through Skype, he would comment on how I was too thin. Amazingly so, I thought he was complimenting me. I got more and more obsessed, the loss of my period and hair became my motivation. The internet was my best friend because I read all about the “tips & tricks” of starving. I was tired, lonely, cold and angry. I had no patience and I was insufferable. This is what being malnourished will do to you.

After months and months of these rituals that and rules that seemed like an endless of “how to die in 10 days”, I tried to recover. How? By getting into fitness. I did Insanity while I was recovering, which was bullshit because that is NOT recovery. I didn’t challenge myself, I didn’t give my body time to rest- I exercised every day, I underfed and I normalized exhaustion. I was terrified of chocolate, processed foods and fats. The thought of putting on weight became a source of nightmares, LITERALLY. I would have NIGHTMARES about looking down at my body and seeing fat start to accumulate over my bones. Somehow, I thought that since I was exercising and eating more than my standard oatmeal and toast, that I was recovered.

I went to live with my father at 15. I feel like this decision shaped me as a person because I was forced to grow up way too fast. I made choices that no one should make a 15 year old make. At this point in time, I had put on weight and I was no longer exercising. My dad had a baby with this girlfriend of the time and all I wanted to do was be with my new baby brother. I didn’t think about food or dieting because I felt like somehow, watching him eat made me be at peace with food. My baby brother was growing and being nourished by the food we gave him and I wanted to make sure he was never hungry. It made me feel so happy to watch him laugh and wobble his way over to his mom for lunch time. I loved seeing him nibbling with a toothless mouth on a soft cookie, and offering the slobbered leftovers to me. That all stopped very suddenly, because my dad would start to make comments. Not only him, but his girlfriend too. Comments about how I was “eating too much” and how I “would look better if I was smaller”. I was experiencing extreme hunger when I moved in with my dad, because I had stopped exercising and my body no longer was focusing the energy on repairing my muscles, it was focusing on repairing me as a whole. I HAD to eat a lot because I needed to be healthy again. This was thrown completely out of the window and I caved into my disordered brain again. I felt almost grateful to them for motivating me to start losing weight again because I thought that it meant that they cared. So the food rules started again. It’s just that this time I didn’t need to learn the tips and tricks, I already knew them. Losing weight was easier now, and faster. So 2013 was the year I dedicated to my disorder. I restricted long enough that my hunger cues began to fade away. I thought that my body had gotten used to what I was eating. A green apple in the morning, some lettuce leaves and half a red bell pepper for lunch, and a single serving of prepackaged soup at night. My brain stopped screaming at me and I stopped thinking. I was reduced to being a zombie of my disorder. I stopped singing, I stopped writing, I stopped making art. I never cried, I laughed only when I was around other people. My body felt numb. I felt numb.

I remember taking showers and watching as day by day the fur growing all over my bones got longer and longer. I later found out that this is called “lanuga” which happens when you have lost an extreme amount of fat and your body reacts as an attempt at survival by growing these hairs, desperately trying to protect you. I felt tired, I couldn’t carry my baby brother anymore. He would ask me to hold him and I would try, but be very afraid of dropping him so I would have to refuse. I remember how upset he looked, we were so close. He loved being with me but I was so scared of him watching me do these things to myself. What if he learned from me? What if my actions stayed in his subconscious? I tried putting distance between us because of my fears. I hate myself for that because I miss him so much now, I miss the days we would spend and the naps we would take. I can’t take back that time.

We went to the doctor because I now, was at the brink of death. Truly I wish that I could say I’m being dramatic about that, but I’m not. My heart was weak and I could barely move. I was no longer sleeping and even sitting down hurt. My bones felt like knives crushing into my skin. I learned that I was at risk of heart failure and if I didn’t start recovering now, the next step would be having a tube thrusted down my throat. Force feeding. I couldn’t ever let that happen so I decided to once again, embarc on a lonely recovery path. As soon as I left the doctors, I told my dad to buy me chocolate. In response, he was annoyed. He thought that I was going to use my “verge of death illness” as an excuse to get obese. I cannot make this up y’all. He didn’t buy me shit and barked at me about how “you can eat at home”. Please, if anyone you know is going through restrictive eating disorder and they say they want chocolate- BUY THEM THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE!

I began refeeding and it was the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life. I couldn’t stomach food. I would eat and instantly have diarrhea. I had to have baby sized portions of food to be able to hold it down. This caused my weight to drop more, so I was now at the point where I actually did need to be hospitalized. I was afraid that I was going to die at any given point of the day. My dad once told me that “just because you have to start eating again doesn’t mean you can get as fat as you used to be”. I cried. This was the first time I had cried in so long. My numbed down feelings reflourished. The hate, the anger, the sadness I bottled up began overflowing. I didn’t stop eating, I gave myself the time I had to so I could stabilize myself. I was sent to go spend a few months with my dad’s girlfriend’s family. I barely knew these people, but they couldn’t handle me being this sick anymore. They didn’t want me. I was a bad influence to my brother. I was hurting them. My dad would have hated me if I told him I needed to be in the hospital, because that’s too much money so this was the easy way out. I guess if I needed to be hospitalized while I was there, it wouldn’t have to come out of his pocket.

I hated being away from my baby brother. I hated acting happy all the time when I was so depressed and furious. I tried making friends during my time away and all of them idolized my sick body. They asked me how I got to that point. I remember telling them I was sick, that I had to eat. They made me feel like that wasn’t neccesary, that I looked like a model. I ate anyway. I couldn’t go back home and still be sick, that would mean that I would be hated by them and maybe even have to leave home.

After a few months I gained some weight. I went back home. I asked my dad’s girlfriend if I was “fine now”, as in “am I not scary anymore”. She said I still looked very thin, but that it was fine. She told me not to go overboard. This meant “DO. NOT. GET. FAT.”

My dad and his girlfriend separated after a year and a half of my recovery. This whole period was very stressful since I was left alone with my dad. I was weight restored and I found some kind of peace with having no peace. I lived with the comments as a daily thing. “Don’t eat that, why don’t you do some arm exercises, you don’t really want that, why don’t those pants fit you anymore.” I got used to feeling foreign in my body. So being extremely malnourished was bad, bein inbetween wasn’t good enough and being restored to my set weight was just awful. I had no idea who I was or what I was supposed to be. I hated myself and I got used to that.

I am now 23 years old and I relapsed a few months ago. I understand now that I was never recovered. I was begging for help for years, but I got irritation and annoyance as a response. I never stopped having food rules, I never stopped being afraid of food. I cannot recover until my brain is completely rewired. I have to eat. I have to lose my fear around food. I have to HATE my disorder and push it out of every one of my pores until I am completely cleansed of it. I remember reading about how “this disorder never leaves you and you will always struggle with it”. I believed that for so long. I believed that I was never going to stop being afraid. I’m tired of feeling comfortable with my anorexia when it has ruined me to the point of feeling completely astranged from my body. I want to know who I am and not hate myself for it. I can’t recover fully until I rewire myself. Keep this with you. You cannot believe you are recovered just because some doctor tells you that you are weight restored. Your food rules need to disappear competely, you need to challenge yourself even if it terrifies you. I am so afraid, but I don’t ever want to go down this disordered path again. I want to spend time with the people that love me and not let anything get in my way. I am young and I am smart. So are you. Eat your fears.

[ceedtriestoblog]

An open letter to somebody i thought was the one 🙂

Hey. This is awkward. But, how are you? It's been a week or two.. Or almost three. I never heard from you and how you've been doing. I hope you're doing good. I hope you're happy.

I just wanna thank you. For everything. For making me happy. For those moments we shared when we weren't thinking about anybody or anything else, not even about us. We're just enjoying each other's presence and company. Those random talks about work, family, goals, about the past, about LIFE in general. I enjoyed those times we were enjoying our food and satisfying our cravings while making plans about what or where to eat soon. Those plans of hitting the beach and going on long drives. I enjoyed the way you try hard speaking our dialect. Your weird accent sounds cute, and funny. Yeah, you're funny. You made me laugh without you even noticing. Thinking of that makes me miss your voice. I miss the way you make plans for us, cause you wanna see me on the weekends, when you're done with work. I just wish you knew how I badly want to spend my weekends with you too. I miss the way you hold my hand, even when it's cold and wet from holding a venti cup of iced coffee we used to enjoy while you're driving me home. I miss the way you compliment me everytime I worry about my acne. I miss the way you call me beautiful especially when i am not feeling myself. I miss the way you tell me you miss me, even when you just dropped me home, and telling me afterwards that you really like me and you had a great time. I miss your effortless banats, and the way i have to contain the kilig i feel with those. Yeah, i admit you got me with those. And who cares if they were sincere or not? They were just banats after all. I miss the way you check on me, if i’m already home and safe, and if i’m having a good day. I miss the way you tease me, those half meant jokes about me and the little things about me like how i make time posting my stories late at night. And i miss teasing you too. You, not wanting to eat rice but seem to enjoy having it in your meal. . I miss those fun times with you. I miss the feeling of missing you while looking forward to our next date. Now it’s just missing you and nothing to look forward to anymore. I miss your daily updates when you're off to work, when you grab lunch, to all those nights you stay late for netflix or work stuff.I miss your 'good morning' and 'good night' chats with our silly endearment on it. And now i can't help but remember the way you actually said it when you were getting my attention.

I know it was just 4 dates and, just 3 months. And I don’t know if they're significant to you like they are to me. I'm not even sure if all those you showed me were true and sincere. Or which parts weren’t true and just for the sake of 'plain landian'. Those were just short moments that honestly keep playing in my head a dozen times a day until now. How could I easily forget those, for they made me feel happy and special after 3 years of just being with myself, romantically. I’m sorry not for you, not for us, but for myself. I’m sorry for messing things up, for overthinking when there's no need to do so. For guarding my heart too much that it chose to disregard its feelings and prioritize my pride. I know I should not be blaming myself but there were just times i can’t help but do so. When I already convinced myself to take a risk and let my guard down, it was already too late. I tried initiating hoping we could give it a try, but it seemed you already made up your mind. I don't really know your reasons, if you have someone already or you're not ready for anything serious, or you just realized you couldn't work things out with me or maybe you weren't really serious from the start. But whatever your reason is, I hope it's the right thing for you. I hope you won't have any regrets. I guess i'll just accept things the way it is, now. Accept that you're just another lesson. That you aren't meant to stay. Accept that you're not meant for me. I should hate you for leading me on and though i tried not to, I indeniably expected for you to take things seriously and mean those things you said. But it's my fault i guarded my heart the wrong way that i fell hard, not because of reality but more on possibilties and potential. Maybe that's how I got my heart broken. Now, I always pray for my heart and healing and it is gradually making me realize that it's not my fault that some things are out of my control. Situations change. Feelings change. People change. Sincerity can't be forced. And it's becoming rare in the world of dating nowadays.

I admit I am sad that we drifted apart. It sucks to think someone out there is already getting the attention and affection you used to give me . Do you call her the way we adressed each other too? Do you remind her always that she's worth your efforts too? It sucks to think you found someone you think is better for you. It sucks that you didn't like me enough for you to be serious with what we had.It sucks that i'm just somebody you used to know now. Just one of your dating app matches that didn't work out. It really sucks. I guess i just have to be patient with pain. I dont have plans of running away from it. It has this demand to be felt everyday, everytime you come across my mind. And it really sucks.

I am not blaming you for this. I know I could have done better. I could have enjoyed the way things were supposed to be and not rush things specifically what I had to act and feel about you, about us. Maybe I liked you too much that i forgot that I could have guarded my heart more. I could have refrained from daydreaming and playing stupid scenarios in my head. I could have waited for magic to work on its own. If ever we had any. 😅 But it's too late. Maybe if I did those while you still liked me, I didn't end up hurting myself. I rushed everything. Rushed in the sense that I overthought things. I advanced the pain, the hurt, the anxiety. Now I'm realizing things. You’re really one of the lessons. Thank you for this. What happened to us taught me to wait, even for things that are expected to happen, still, we have to be patient. To trust, and to earn that trust too. To stay calm, for things meant for you will always find their way to you. 🙂 To entrust everything to God, including your feelings, your desires, your thoughts. To trust in His will and ask for it in your life.

I hope I didn't hurt you in any way somehow. I hope I made you happy even for just a little time. And I hope when that slightest chance of us crossing our paths comes, we'll be able to look at each other and smile. It's not that hard to admit we used to know each other anyway. 🙂

Stay happy. ❤️

[meimi-haneoka]

LOL....Chapter 42.

I mean, I might have become quite boring by now because ALL the chapters I use these shocked gifs, but.....I can’t help it, every time the chapters bring some shocking factor!! XD

Let me just start this reaction post with one happy announcement:

Remember my battles against illegal early spoilers on the internet? How it hurt the fandom (because people who wanted to wait for the official release were forced to avoid social media or block stuff) and the franchise as well?

Well, I’m glad to announce that chapter 42 has been the first chapter ever to not have any early spoilers leaked before the official releases, ever since Clear Card started in July 2016. It took almost 4 years and a revolution by the hands of CLAMP to obtain this result (with the early release of chapters FOR FREE on the official website in 6 languages).

Beware, I’m not celebrating just yet because next month we may get spoilers circulating again, but this chapter was really nice to be discovered all together, legally, without hurting anyone? It was a nice feeling and since it seems we might be approaching the finale, I think it’s important that we enjoy these chapters all together in a proper way.

Well, after this introduction, let’s delve into Chapter 42 of Clear Card!!

Kaito is a walking dead man

I loved the color splash page. It always makes me happy to see Akiho and Sakura together, but this time the theme is a lot more serious. This is getting intense and the color page reflects that. This is also the first black background in a while, I always loved illustrations with black background even in the old manga.

Sooo last chapter we were left with Sakura overthrowing Kaito’s time magic and still conscious and moving. And shocked to see Syaoran and Kaito fighting. Of course Kaito needs to put a patch on this, because he knows Sakura is that powerful, but he doesn’t want her to know any of this, so he starts to “attack” her with time magic, I believe? And prince charming cleverly thinks that he might better call forth the strongest Sakura Cards in the deck, just to be sure to protect Sakura adequately. Even Kaito recognizes that was a wise move. Sakura is more confused than ever, behind the spirit shield formed by Light & Dark.

Syaoran is so fucking fed up with this that he demands to know why Kaito is here in Tomoeda. He candidly admits that he wants Sakura to produce the new Cards. Syaoran is like “No shit, Sakura’s already been producing a shitton of cards” “But she hasn’t produced the one I want”. When Syaoran asks which card that would be, Mr. I-am-an-asshole-and-I-know-it replies “If I told you that, I fear you’d get terribly angry”

Guys, the glare Syaoran gives Kaito after this one is like.......death sentence. The amount of rage accumulated in this short kid is frightening. Syaoran might be cool and composed, but y’all remember his temper at the beginning of the old manga, right? That wasn’t “just because”, it’s still part of his personality XDD he was taming his rough sides of his personality for Sakura, but for Sakura he’s well ready to pull them out at any convenience.

Meanwhile, we aren’t sure if Sakura is listening to the heated conversation or not, but I think she isn’t because she keeps shouting “what’s going on?? What happened??” even after Kaito straight up said he’s after her Cards. Seeing her struggling and reaching from behind Light & Dark, who are restraining her, is kinda.....giving me TRC war flashbacks. Yes. You might have seen the tweet that is making me earn lots of “WHY CINZIA”, but I’m like this, I’m an ugly bitch who needs to suffer in company. I’ll make a separate TRC/CCS comparison post after ages, for this. XD

The highlight of the chapter

Kaito reveals that he knows that Syaoran came back to Japan after his mother had a divination of the future that he absolutely needs to stop. And, at that moment, ladies and gentlemen....

IT’S HER. THE STAR OF THE CHAPTER. THE ONE THE FANDOM DREAMED OF SEEING IN THE MANGA.

LI YELAN-SAMA.

This is a huge thing because a character that was exclusively in the anime canon-verse (even though that line has been more and more flimsy lately) appeared in the manga too. Syaoran’s mother, and the Li family in general, were often mentioned both in the old and new manga series, but CLAMP somehow were always careful to never show any graphical portray of it. Now, finally, after so long, we have Yelan appearing in the manga too, and she’s exactly like her anime counterpart. Regal, elegant, beautiful. I was literally trembling with excitement when I saw her!! It was.....gosh it was huge.

But one has to wonder: how the hell does Kaito knows about all this stuff? How much did he investigate on the Li family? It’s kinda easy to imagine when he could do that: for a period, Akiho and Kaito lived in Hong Kong. Right before coming to Japan.

We get, thanks to Kaito, the confirmation that nor he, nor Syaoran, were born with the gift of seeing the future. Kaito can, if he follows all the steps, see some glimpses till a certain degree, but nothing comparable to someone specialized in divination art, let alone a yumemi. Here it is, the cursed term so dear to CLAMP, indicating the ones who can see the future in dreams. Kaito says that Sakura can indeed see the future playing out in her dreams, but it’s a future far from being set in stone. She’s basically a beginner yumemi, with confusing and fragmented visions, I’d say. But when she will grow up, she will be a fully fledged yumemi. Kaito says that it’s for the strong people to decide how the future will go. And here we find again the thematic so dear to CLAMP, the future and the choices made to let it go in a direction, or another one. Kaito starts to call forth the Tina Rie Triax spell. Syaoran is like “the hell I’m letting you get away like this” and is preparing to counter-attack with Raitei Shorai, when The Queen™ decides she had enough and screams “NOOO!”, calling her staff on the spot and activating her power towards Syaoran, switching places with him! She literally forced him out of the picture and took his place!! 

The Queen takes agency

LOOK AT THAT FACE! LOOK AT IT WELL. It’s the same determination she had in this scene:

I knew we would see the results of that determination. When she saw the boy she loves risking his life with someone who was attacking him, she took agency and went to the front row.

You can’t keep Sakura in the sidelines like that.

Kaito is quite suprised by the move. Maybe because he doesn’t understand love or because he didn’t think she would take agency. Either way, Sakura is pointing her staff at him, the same way Syaoran was pointing his sword at him moments ago. You don’t mess with this child, Kaito.

And he must certainly know, because he mutters “That’s too bad” and rewinds time, basically chickening out of the picture. XD

Sakura is back with Tomoyo, Akiho, Sonomi and her father, but she knows something is wrong, and she walks away from them for a while to give birth to a new card!! TRANSFER is the name, and it’s the power she used to switch places with Syaoran. The fact is, she doesn’t remember nor she understands why the hell this card is here. 

While at home Kaito thinks to himself (smile always present but blatantly a mere mask) that he needs to hurry up or he’ll be in a fucking big mess because Sakura resisted his time-stopping magic and the Clear Card survived the time rewinding, Sakura at her own home is a nervous wreck. She calls Syaoran because she has the feeling she saw Light & Dark, they don’t remember, but Syaoran confirms that he feels something is off and has the feeling someone made them forget something. Sakura closes the call promising that she would inform him of anything that would come to her mind, but as she inadvertently knocks her Clear Cards off, they all fall facing backwards, save for one: BREAK.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how Chapter 42 ends. Leaving us wondering why Sakura is making this dismayed face. She’s either taking it as a bad omen, or she’s remembering what she saw when she captured BREAK, and what caused the birth of the card in the first place. Not only a soulless Akiho talking nonsense in a pretty dress, but also her boyfriend under the robe of the Mysterious Cloaked Figure. Seemingly about to hurt an unconscious Akiho. That is still an open wound in Sakura’s heart, and it’s pretty clear here.

Guys, what can I tell you, this chapter has been a mixture of wonderful surprises, painful TRC recalls, frustrating time rewindings that show us how Sakura and Syaoran are slowly realizing and fighting Kaito’s fuckery with time....I know a good chunk of the fandom doesn’t like this give-and-take-away, it always seems like the final battle is here, but we are tricked everytime. And yet, I do believe that once the story will be over, and after some time we’ll go back to read Clear Card, the time rewindings will show clearly how gradually Sakura was able to overcome and overthrow Kaito’s magic: first it was a finger, then it was an unexplicable sadness, now a new card and the impression to have seen things, and a general uneasiness because something feels off. The kids were even capable of realizing that they were made to forget something. I bet this graduality will feel more interesting and exciting when we’re not forced to wait 1 month between chapters.

Let me know what you think, too!

[starry200156]

A Father’s Love

After posting my last one-shot saying I will be making an one-shot with Sasuke being Papasauke. All of you guys who commented asked for some and here you go. 

A Father’s Love

Sasuke Uchiha cried when his daughter, Sarada Uchiha, was born. Through most of his life was filled with hatred and vengeance. He had hurt some many people in life, including his two best friends, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno who is Uchiha. He knew he could never take back what he has done. The one person he didn’t ever want to hurt his own daughter, with the one mobile arm he has he held his little girl. Sasuke lean over giving his wife a kiss on her head. 

“Thank you.” 

Sasuke miss most of his child’s life, do to missions. He wished he was there for the little things, when Sarada was toddler Sasuke had to leave on a long term missions. He knew this broke his wife’s heart and it would Sarada’s, for her papa not being there for her. It broke his own heart to not watch Sarada grow up. The next time they meet, would be when Sarada was eleven. He didn’t recognize her at first, with the Shin Uchiha appeared. 

“Papa.” He heard her voice shakely. His realization that he almost cause physical harm, hurt him deeply. “Sarada.” After the Shin Uchiha incident, Sasuke once again had to leave for a mission. 

“When will you be home next?” Sasuke bent down to her eye level. Sasuke knew he already miss so much of her childhood. He was pain will guilt with her question the sad face she made. Sasuke pull his daughter into a hug once he pulled away. He took his index finger and middle figure and tapped his daughter’s forehead. 

“Till next time.” Was all he said to his daughter. 

“Here’s your lunch.” Once he saw the look on his wife. He immediately turned around, “See you later.” Continue to walk with a smirk on his face. 

It wasn’t until around the time of the Chunin Exams he came home once again. He knew Sarada would be in the Chunin Exams, but do to certain events Sasuke couldn’t come and watch his daughter. He had full faith in her that she would do well. That night after Sarada’s fight we Araya Sakura told Sasuke what happened. Concern whipped through him for his daughter, even though she won doesn’t mean she wasn’t safe from her next match. Maybe if he would have trained her instead of Boruto her injuries would have been prevented. Even though he did teach Sarada his clan’s jutsu. The morning of her fight with Boruto and Shinki Sarada asked her father he could see her. 

“Papa do you think you’ll be able to come see me today in the Chunin Exams.” 

Sasuke was split it was hard for him to say no to his daughter. She had worked so hard to get to the finals. “Maybe.” That was all Sasuke could let his daughter. Before anymore words were exchanged Sarada was already out the door. 

“Don’t worry Anata. Sarada just wants you to be home and spend time with her more often.” Sasuke knew his daughter wanted his attention he wasn’t sure how to give it to her. It was easier when she was a baby. She was such a happy child. “She could of told me, instead asking me to teach her my family’s jutsu.” Those were the only words that Sasuke could from, he heard his wife sigh. 

“Sasuke you don’t realize, but Sarada isn’t the one to show off her emotions. Sarada will never admit it. It reminds me of someone I used to know.” His wife’s words impale him. Sasuke realize that him and Sarada were alike in that way. Deep down Sasuke hand the fear that Sarada would walk down the wrong path, like he once had. Sasuke look at his wife. Sakura very well knew what Sasuke felt and meant. His absence had hurt their daughter, and possibly damage their bond. 

The Uchiha lost track of time, he was planning on seeing his daughter in her final match. Something in him didn’t feel right, by not attending to his child’s match. Sasuke detected the Otsutsuki chakra. He automatically thought of Sarada was in danger, he picked up the pace to reach her time. He saw Kinshiki tried to kill his daughter he raced to her rescue. He grabbed her before a hand could be touched. 

“Papa.” 

“Don’t lay a hand on my daughter. Or would you like me to shorten that horn of yours.” Sasuke glanced at Kinshiki when he said his words. He was aware that Sarada heard his words. Sasuke was serious, he had already lost his clan he was about to one of the two people he treasured most. 

“That smart mouth of yours...let me silence it forever!” Sasuke made sure Sarada safe for the moment. He had most like his father instincts kick in. Sasuke wanted to fight Kinshiki at that very moment, Sarada was still in danger and he couldn’t risk her safety even more. 

After the battle with the Otsutsuki, Sasuke started to become more protective of his daughter. The idea of someone nearly killing Sarada, did something to Sasuke. He realize for the rest of her life Sarada would be target. He started to train Boruto more seriously and on the side train Sarada teach her a few things. Everytime Sarada would go on a mission he demanded to know the details from Naruto. Naruto understood Sasuke intentions but the hokage couldn’t help but feel as if Sasuke was being a bit much. “Sasuke don’t you think you’re being overprotective of Sarada-chan.” Sasuke glared at Naruto. Naruto sighed at his best friend actions. “What does Sakura-chan and Sarada-chan think of this?” 

“They don’t know.” 

“Good grief Sasuke. Sarada can handle herself.”

A year later and a mission goes wrong. Boruto coming close to death, which scared the living hell out of Sarada. “Sarada.” Sasuke called out for his daughter. He knew that Sarada mentally wasn’t in the best shape she nearly saw her childhood best friend get kill and she felt completely useless. “Go away Papa.” It was the first time that Sasuke heard those words from his daughter. He understood that she wanted to be alone, but he wasn’t going to let his daughter bottle up her emotions like he once had. “I’m not leave Sarada. Please open up the door.” Sarada at that very moment realized her father was always open to her to come to. Sarada didn’t really know how to approach him. She knew the only way to make herself feel better was to talk about what was hurting her. She opened the door and ran into her father, her shaking arms wrap around his waist. Sasuke stroke her hair and guided her back in her room. They sat on her bed, Sasuke let Sarada cried. 

“Papa I’m sorry I was so useless.” Her was shaky. Sasuke’s eyes widened, to him Sarada always had such confidence in herself and believe in herself and her ability. He hold on his little girl grew tighter. “Sara.” He finally spoke it had been so long since he called her that nickname. The last time was when she was a toddler, before he left. “You’re not useless. You’re very strong. What happened on the mission wasn’t your fault the enemy was much stronger than you. Boruto was probably trying to protect you.” Sarada lifted her head. The expression on Sasuke face was one that Sarada had never seen before. It had worry written on it, but relief at the same time. “He was that baka. He’s so reckless, I could have protect him. It’s my job as his friend and teammate.” 

“He was doing that same for you. Boruto values you highly, the respect he holds is something I haven’t seen before.” He saw his daughter face lighted and a light shade of pink was on her cheeks. A part of Sasuke was mentally slapping himself and wanting to knock some sense in Boruto. Sasuke was aware of his daughter and his student feeling for each other. Despite Sasuke not liking Sarada have extra feeling for the dobe’s son. “He does.” Sarada voice sounded shocked. Sarada knew Boruto respected her, but if Boruto put Sarada on a high level. It shocked the young ninja. “You should go see him. Sarada you will never be useless you’re not capable of it.” Sarada gave her papa a hug and left to see Boruto. Sasuke was going to have a serious talk with Boruto one he is better.

Not soon after that Sasuke and Boruto set on a journey. Sasuke was starting to train Boruto more seriously, so he become a shinobi that could surpass his level of skill. Also, strong enough to protect his daughter when he isn’t around to do so. Sasuke would never admit it, but he was an overprotective papa. After Sarada was born all of Sasuke’s actions were for his daughter. The day before him and Boruto were going to leave Sarada had barged in unannounced into the hokage’s office. 

“Lord Seventh please make me your apprentice!” Sasuke knew his daughter dream and ambitious and he knew that Sarada was done playing games, she was serious and wasn’t taking no for answer. 

“Sarada-chan.” Naruto was shocked. He never expecting to ever have a student of his own. Sasuke’s daughter being his apprentice was something so surreal to him. He knew that Sarada wanted to become hokage. Naruto deeply cared about Sarada, she was his goddaughter after all. He felt complete joy and excitement, he had the biggest smile on his face. Naruto looked at Sasuke his face was a sign of approval. “Mother like daughter. I will make you my apprentice Sarada-chan. I know you want to become hokage one day, I’ve seen you grow and I know you will make a fine apprentice.” He saw his goddaughter face light up. 

“Thank you so much Lord Seventh.” 

“That’s Naruto-sensei to you now.” Sasuke’s face dropped he really thought that Naruto had finally grown up, he was so wrong. “Dobe I gave you approval to train my daughter, I did not say you could brainwash her she an Uchiha.” 

“What makes you think I’m going to do that. She’s my student now and it only polite to call me sensei. I know Sakura-chan taught her better unlike you teme!” Both grown men heard Sarada laughing at them. Sarada was the most precious thing to Sasuke along with his wife. 

Two and half years past by Sarada would be almost sixteen. Boruto and Sasuke came back a month before Sarada’s birthday. “Sarada-chan, Boruto and Sasuke aren’t far from Konoha. I can deal with the rest of the paper, you go and greet them.” Sarada face light up, she was so excited to see her father and her best friend again. 

“Welcome back Papa and Boruto.” Sarada greeted the duo. Sasuke notice that see daughter wasn’t in her red tunic and light purple shorts anymore. Her outfit was similar to her mother’s when she was her age. “Sarada.” They both said. Sarada hugged her father, he accepted she also had grown probably reaching up to her mother’s height. She started to look some much like Sakura. After Sarada released her father Sarada hugged Boruto, he hugged her back their height was such a difference now. Something sparked in Sasuke he didn’t like how Boruto was hugging his daughter he was still only fifteen and still was blooming in a flower. Boruto was arms were around Sarada’s waist. Luckily Boruto and Sarada didn’t see his face at that very moment, he Sharingan was blazing he wasn’t happy. After Sarada let go, he was relieved. As time went on Sasuke still stuck with his old antics about protecting his daughter. It seem as his little peanut was aged he become Papasuke even more. Sakura often scolded Sasuke for his behavior. Sasuke also learned Sarada was even more reckless than she was when she was younger. He was worse than his wife and his best friend, even his own student. All of his worst fear came true one day. His little girl was in a relationship with Boruto Uzumaki. He caught them in action one night. Boruto was walking home Sarada, the young couple didn’t realize the Sasuke was inside. 

“Goodnight Sarada.” 

“Goodnight Boruto, thank you for walking me home.” Sarada hugged Boruto, before she could let go Boruto, he gave her a short sweet kiss. Sarada faced turn completely red, despite Sarada being in a relationship with Boruto she still was shy about these things. Sasuke was livid, his little flower was being kissed by the one child he never would want touching his daughter in that kind of way. Boruto ended up that night with multiple bruises. It took Sasuke some time to get over the fact that his little girl was growing and slowly not needing him to protect her. 

“You look beautiful Sarada, just like your mother.” Sarada smiled at her father’s compliment. 

“Thank you papa.” Sasuke hugged his daughter. Then it hit him his little girl wasn’t so much a little girl anymore. He had grow all up, and Sarada was marrying the man she loved, Boruto Uzumaki. “You’re all grown up Sarada.” Sarada looked at her papa, she could let what her papa was feeling. Over the year the two had formed such a strong bond.

“I’m always going to need my papa. I’m still your little girl. I love you papa.” Sarada tapped Sasuke’s forehead with her index and middle figure. For the second time in Sarada’s life he had cried. Sasuke held onto her wrist. “Papa loves you too, Sarada Uchiha. My little miracle.” Sarada finally understood her father’s love, he scarified so much for her. To Sasuke, Sarada was everything he had always wanted. Sarada Uchiha was Sasuke Uchiha precious miracle, that him and his wife created. “Because you exist.”

[ladyserendipitous]

So if you're accepting more reveal fic prompts, I have an idea for you: Future fic. Adrien and Marinette are engaged. Ladybug and Chat Noir have been fighting side-by-side for YEARS and have gotten to be very close platonic friends. Close enough that it wouldn't feel right to get married without the other attending the wedding as a guest. Confusion abounds when their weddings are on the same day. At the same time. At the same venue.

Well this is cliche, isn’t it?  I LOVE IT!  Have an aged up reveal fic! (AO3)

Please RSVP

“So I’ve been thinking,” Chat Noir said one night during their weekend patrol. It had been nearly a decade since they defeated HawkMoth and years since any other magical trouble had bothered Paris.

“No, I don’t think the Polka would make a comeback even with your endorsement,” Ladybug said without a hint of a smirk.

“I think you’re just afraid it will be a runaway smash and take me away from you,” he retorted with a grin, then took a deep breath. “I’m going to propose to her.”

“You’ve been thinking about this for a while, haven’t you? You even missed being able to pun about it,” she said as she turned from looking out at the city from the top of Notre Dame to look at him.

“Yeah, I guess I have,” he told her simply, the breeze playing with his long blond hair.

Ladybug smiled at him, not for the first time noticing the smitten look on his face. Chat Noir’s angel, for that’s how he often referred to his girlfriend to Ladybug, was supposedly a force to be reckoned with. Sadly the reason he started talking about her to Ladybug had been because of things that happened in his personal life. Things he could not, would not, tell Ladybug about. A guardian angel, who for a time he looked at as a friend, though dearly held. In time though this angel had stolen away his heart though and when Chat Noir realized it, he had been beside himself wondering what even to do.

“I know she’ll say yes,” Ladybug was completely confident.

“I have news to tell you when this is over,” Ladybug whispered to him when they reached the Tower. They smiled and waved to the public and media that had attended the event. Whatever news Ladybug had, it was making her practically vibrate and he was surprised she was holding it all together for the public.

An hour and forty five minutes later they were swinging away. They did not make many public appearances so when they did, it was a very large event, though they did not like to stay long. Chat Noir followed Ladybug until they were on the roof of the Palace Hotel. Another location with a lot of memories

“He proposed!” Ladybug nearly screamed as she wiggled. Ladybug was adorable when she was excited.

“I hope you said yes,” Chat Noir said with a slight smirk and raised eyebrow.

“Of course I said yes,” Ladybug told him, crossing her arms over her chest. He wasn’t having any of that though, crossing the distance and engulfing her in a hug. She quickly latched on to him and he could feel her start to wiggle in place again.  

Chat Noir didn’t know much about Ladybug’s beau. She’d known him for years though and had harbored a not so small crush on him for a long while, though he seemed committed on keeping their relationship as a friendship. Chat Noir wasn’t sure when that changed, and he half suspected Ladybug herself didn’t know either, but he did recall the day she mentioned her boyfriend, all shy and blushing. From then on out there was no hope for any other guy. Chat Noir was suspicious at first about the guy, but over time realized that even if love made people blind, nothing Ladybug said gave away the guy was anything but the type of guy he would hope for her.

“Congratulations,” he said even as he smushed her. He was very happy for his best friend.

“Have you…,” Ladybug started and then paused. It had been almost three weeks since they’d gone on patrol. Far too long, but both of them had been busy with their regular lives, and add wedding planning and suddenly neither seemed to have enough time in the week.

“Hm?” Chat Noir rolled on his side, looking away from the start to look at her. They’d been talking about wedding planning like real adults and when had that happened to them?

“You haven’t told her, have you?” Ladybug asked, rolling her head to look at him. She would have thought he’d mention to her when he was planning on telling his fiancée, but it could have come up recently and slipped his mind.

“No,” and he sounded disappointed in himself. “I thought about doing it once she said yes, but things have been happening so quickly since then. I know it will be fine once I tell her, but I’m afraid of adding any extra stress right now.”

“I know how you feel,” Ladybug said. Adrien was always so supportive of everything she did, and while she knew he never once blamed Ladybug and Chat Noir with what happened with his father, now was not the time to bring up that old wound. “I’m thinking of telling him during our honeymoon.”

“That’s a good id… oh man we haven’t even discussed the honeymoon,” Chat Noir groaned and rolled back on his back.

Ladybug laughed as she turned back to the sky. “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one!”

It was a rare afternoon they met up. It was the only free time they had that week unless they wanted to sacrifice their sleep, and with the last few weeks they’d had neither wanted to. It meant there would be wild speculation on why they were out patrolling at such a time, but as long as the photographers didn’t try ambushing them it didn’t matter.

“We picked out invitations today,” Ladybug told him as they took a break. Not that either of them were winded but these patrols were not about beating their own records or anything.

“That’s funny, so did we,” Chat Noir replied, leaning on his staff. Not that it had taken one morning. Oh no, Marinette and him had gone through pages and pages of invitations trying to find the right one. He didn’t think they were that picky about details. Sure she was a designer and he’d grown up in the industry but he had thought it would be a simple process. Neither of them were prepared for all the choices, even when they came to agreement about color schemes and in general what they wanted, or thought they wanted from an invitation.

Maybe going without a wedding planner hadn’t been one of their better decisions?

It was too late now, and honestly while they had a few disagreements they hadn’t run into the full on fights he kept getting warned about from other people. Of course those people didn’t know him and Marinette that well.

“In fact once I have the invitations you’re getting one, and you’d better attend.” Chat Noir was not use to giving ultimatums to his partner, but this was a special circumstance.

Ladybug looked at him, her mouth dropping slightly as she pointed to herself. “You want me at your wedding?”

“Of course I do!  You’re my best friend and this is going to be the biggest day of my life.” How could she even think otherwise?

She gave him a big watery smile. “I want you at mine too, but you realize this will mean we’ll know each other’s identity.”

Chat Noir shrugged. “I know, but at this point, even if some superpower nasty shows up do you think us knowing who each other is will matter?”

“It’s always a risk,” she reminded him. He couldn’t remembered the last time they even discussed identities. Years for sure.

“Life’s always about risks,” he reasoned and was happy to note she was still smiling.

“Maybe once we’re both married the four of us could have dinner together,” she suggested and Chat Noir found himself giddy with anticipation.

All the frustration was worth it when they got the box of invitations. Marinette found herself looking at the one she’d grabbed out of the box all day. The envelopes were even the same shade as the cards themselves. Everytime Adrien caught her looking at the invitation he’d smile one of those happy closed mouth smiles that caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle. Everytime she then giggled happily. It was stupid but it made her happy the way the invitations turned out.

Chat Noir had beat her to their rendezvous spot for the night. She was happy their patrol night corresponded with her invitations coming in. He’d be the first to get one.

“Ladybug, I’ve got something for you,” Chat Noir said once she landed beside him. He held out an envelope.

“Is that a wedding invitation?” She asked a bit skeptical, not taking the envelope out of his hand yet.

“It is,” he confirmed with a big grin. “We just got them today.”

“That’s funny,” Ladybug said, extending her hand, an envelope in it. “Ours came today too.”

“That’s too weird,” he said in a thoughtful tone, but then he shook his head of as to get rid of any serious thought. He took the envelope from her hands and pushed they one he had for her into hers.“Let’s see what they look like.”

Ladybug looked at the envelope, it was hard to tell in the evening lights, but the color looked similar to her and Adrien’s. It was all probably a lot of coincidence.  She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the card. She heard Chat Noir suddenly take in a breath beside her as she looked over the card.  She was sure she wasn’t seeing her own card in her hands! Yet there was her name and under it Adrien’s with their wedding date etched in silver with the time and location.

When she finally could drag her eyes away from the card, she saw Chat Noir staring at her. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound would come out.

“Marinette?” His voice was soft, scared, as though if he spoke too loudly the world around them would fall apart.  Her best friend. The love of her life.

She did the only reasonable thing to do in such a situation, she tackled him and kissed him until he too was speechless.

Master Fu went to his door and was both surprised and not surprised to see Adrien and Marinette at his door. If it were anyone else he would have commented on the late hour, but he owed these two far too much. “What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

Together they held out an envelope to him.