#This is the mess the media created!
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#Sounds like u & ur media hack colleagues at#@CNN#shouldn’t have been so f*cking worried about Biden’s age.#This is the mess the media created!#This is what happens when you elevate#trump & employ his surrogates like#@ScottJenningsKY#Get ready for the chaos that YOU ALL WANTED!#Catch all the hell you asked for#Karma finna beat you into submission#And imma be watching like yass queen
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Every time I write Jax being a massive asshole in my fics I start to think “Am I going too far? Should I reel him back a little bit? I don’t think he’ll be this bad in the show” and then I see this from Goose herself
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And I started going “Ok, now I’m thinking I gotta make him worse”
#Side note: the more news I get about the show the more I’m afraid of it#It’s Tumblr so tones and themes get jumbled around a lot when fans create content inspired by their favorite media#I’ve made peace not only with the fact that my ship will certainly not be made canon#But also with the fact that the show’s representation of my favorite characters will most likely not fit my personal interpretation#But my one big fear is that I will be exposed to my comfort characters going through something that’s gonna REALLY mess me up#I have my suspicions I just really hope I’m wrong#I feel like this show is going to really dive in on the existentialism#the amazing digital circus#tadc#gooseworx
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This is a piano improvisation with no lyrics that Ves created. It does have a name, but there's a reason I removed the title. See the screenshot under "Keep Reading" for why.
He's adorable istg 🖤🥹🖤 But yeah. Can't share that phrase publicly, I'm sorry.
#lost media#circa 2011#song untitled piano improvisation#i know literally nothing about piano#but this sounds rehearsed and like he's playing off sheet music#so the fact that it's *improv*#is mind blowing to me#also i'm not doubting him#i know for a fact he can figure out songs by ear#so of course he'd be able to mess around for 6 minutes#and create something beautiful like this
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vivi s recent substack made me want to write about bcg and ive been wondering since morning why haven't i already written about him. when i first had a crush on a friend, i was 6 and i needed to get it out of my chest so i told mom im gonna marry vaibhav and she laughed and said sure. i laugh when i remember that. when i had another crush in 2nd standard or in 5th or 6th or 7th or 8th or 9th (do you think i was a whore lol?), i wrote about each and everyone of them in my dairy, the way they were, the reason i liked them, the reason i got over them. when i got attached to this 22 year old guy i met on omegle at 16, even though i wasn't naive and was aware it wasnt right but i felt inclined towards him in the loneliness of lock down, i wrote my first ever poem for someone and even though it sounds cringe reading it now, i wrote it in 10 minutes based on the conversation i had with him at night. it made me feel so invincible. but with bcg it's different. i casually just called him the basic crush guy and made a hell lot of deal on tumblr posting about him because i thought he's just going to be another crush right? and now when things progressed and i have way more to talk about him than i ever had for someone, i want to keep quiet. not to mention i haven't written anything past 18 months. i realized writing about him is going to create a romanticized version of him in my head. isn't it funny i don't want to romanticize the one person i romance with? i romanticized my friends, i romanticized my agony, my sadness, my loneliness, my mutuals, i romanticize my hostel, my life, my curtains, my favorite fruits and my bed but not him. just for once in my life i want to live without romanticizing this one thing and see it for how it is. it's exactly like wanting to add filters to every other picture but just not this one since it's naturally so pretty. i blocked my scared, overthinking pessimistic self to be able to live him without having regrets caused by my melancholic personality. and often than not, it surfaces and i cause a quarrel but i love living this in reality. i can daydream anytime i want, but when is reality so beautiful?
#i don't know if it makes sense moreover i hate how pathetic ive gotten expressing myself poetically#in the chase of becoming an emotionally stable person. more logical. more live in the moment. more carefree#i think i can't create any form of art anymore hence my alienation from any media and it sounds sad and hurts the little kid in me#but im proud of myself#unless of course exams come around again and i become a tragic mess#ill delete it in a few. just needed to write this
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speaking of bsol through speaking of xmas xtrav that like i'm so augh god hand over heart falling over (just like the bloodsong b/c it's the like conclusion of being Overwhelmed By Artistic Effect that then in the ideal version you may as well die) at the thought of the finale where you have the main plot conclude as that Story w/those Themes like ah but even then, the influence, the other the musicians now, that this whole time like yeah you have to do it even if you just keep building or die or were thwarted even prior to that b/c you didn't know you wouldn't be....but that then just like in the opening song Outlaw or sort of distillation of the theme abt being someone making art Last On Land or that at other points other characters have emerged as not really their characters not really a greek chorus but elements of the story helping to Tell It, here's Everyone again for the friendship song altogether & each with an instrument & like not even able to see it but pics & imagining & the enthusiasm & the Thematic Resonance like this is when you are pursuing these pursuits together like _o__ (splayed out facedown emoji) aaauuughhh ;;mm;; bsol finale with everyone showing up playing & singing & dancing the song celebratory finale it's all the Theme when the full cast of Characters had only ever all been together for the one standoff scene at the end & yet obviously We've known them all & everyone is outlaws which is a song like i'm already going sicko mode & this is just the intro, so yknow, The Conclusion, good lord find an iconis musical finale without that place for the celebratory outpouring of enthusiasm right amidst other feelings & situations but Good Lord Here's This in a story that'll always have been all about people's depths & heights & widths & breadths & variations & tumult & all the dimensions, people will have Brought It all over the place & it's like yes leap around together playing & singing this song together which isn't The Story but is such an extension of it b/c bsol has its show within the show quality still infused all in it & if this flurry of Actors Celebrating Outpouring We Put On This Show but still within the show you are seeing as an audience in this venue wouldn't have been part of the original plan with a whole [outside the show within the show] plotline like. embraces bsol holding it so hard my becherished
#bsol#& in true xmas nature yknow like yeah i think of the whole show like wwaaughh think of the baby please come home like Aauuuughhh#think of specific moments within & none of those make me weep but they do make me go omg & woww yayy & clap & cheer & caper & gambol#but what everything has been: all about its central theme & bsol/xmas playing w/& sending up Genre Conventions we all know & thus can be#enough on the same page about so as to then be on the same page abt what's Unexpectedly done w/them but it's not just about#like oh we do this to be Above it b/c it's also done abt genre convention stuff that's enjoyed & interesting to its creator here so#that also as ever the Heart of w/e the genre stuff being messed with is Earnestly Kept & that's what all this is used to express things#with in addition to being able to have fun & explore things that plausibly a completely straightforward recreation type homage couldn't#or couldn't do as well without sacrificing one or the other vs if you're already doing an open like remix playing with exploration; then...#the conclusion of the xmas show isn't yeah i love xmas isn't that cringefail of me. yeah these xmas special media we're working off of#isn't that all so silly & no matter how much i love it it's important to end up Above It. like nobody's here to be above shit good god#soooo much more you can do if you don't have to prioritize That central theme. [you & me; We're superior] undermines Anything Else#while never holding yourself as Apart & Better lets anything else grow & flourish & have the Capacity & Flexibility to be & do whatever#the villain as an emotional reflection of part of the hero / representing a Possible Version of them; not Who They Could Never Be#as Only a force to be overcome with your greater force; though naturally yes the villain creates conflicts & stakes & obstacles#& in these so very genrey xmas bsol situations i'm clapping cheering go also very fun & funny little villain who kills you Gooo#100% this bitch Oh No Not Miserthorpe Krampington Thornwassail Cocodrilo that's right you fucks ahahahaaa >:) die btw#thinking about specific parts of bsol like oh wow oh yay oh this fun turn into this bit oh what a scene what a song wahooo#then overall like lying back reaching up Bloodsong....#thinking of the finale friendship song actors as actors ish characters ish ft. instruments 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (one each)#this mf (gesturing to myself who'll inevitably fire up Outlaw.mp3 at any moment & go Augh the harmonica the harmonies the chorus The This)#also that obviously i get to have a delightful time going well so of course lo cocodrilo is gay; perhaps & trans; &....
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i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months
#dear everyone saying that tumblr doesn't have an algorithm: yes it does oh my GOD.#i see people say this so often irt twitter and reddit migration#just because tumblr has a different feed system to facebook/inta/twitter doesn't mean the only things you see are exactly what you want#free of influence or coercion#simplest example is tumblr suggesting users and tags for u to follow. what do you think is informing its suggestions?#how does it know which blogs are similar? it's not by fucking chance#please i know we all clown on what a mess this website is and how poorly it delivers ads but let's not forget that that's a choice they mak#if tumblr wanted to deliver ads in the way other social media sites do they could. but it's part of the image they've created for themselve#hence why they feel they can offer a paid subscription to remove ads that has an off switch so u can still see their weird crazy zany ads#because they know how much we love to clown on their shit ads. they know users will screenshot and share ads if they're weird enough#and they want you to. they're not so incompetent that they can't get us classy ads lol. this is their brand. let's not forget that!#anyway this is all triggered by me sending someone (hi bunni <3) a post of misha collin's sfx make up in gotham knights that popped up as a#recommended post despite me never having watched it or searched for it etc. what triggered that post appearing was me searching/tagging spn#a couple times recently. and of course misha collins and spn are frequently cross tagged. anyway since then i have been bombarded with that#godforsaken show constantly on my dash#sorry to gotham knights enjoyers i get the appeal and i am a dc simp but it's just not for me ig#if u read all this i love u im kissing you sloppystyle and or giving u a firm and warm handshake and or a friendly nod like we're walking#past each other on a beautiful day <3#my post
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finally putting my stats into tardis.guide!! My user is TheDiaryOfRiverSong1
#Cause I messed up and accidentally put the wrong email when I created TheDiaryOfRiverSong account and I couldn’t log in 😾#Anyways its sooo cool!!!!#I hope they add comics soon#I love keeping track of how much doctor who media I’ve consumed !!! (It’s a lot)
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i just finished mag 200...
#the magnus archives#tma#mag 200#i am fucking mess.#i hate this fucking podcast.#i am crying#i love this podcast so fucking much. more than i have ever loved a piece of media.#they would and will find each other in any universe.#tell me why i cried knowing the admiral was better. bc it meant it fucking worked.#jonathan sims and alexander newall i wanna k!ll u and kiss ur cheeks for this brillant masterpiece of audio fiction you have created#this podcast has broken me#i am a shell of a person
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If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.
Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:
'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.
'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.
'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of votes was not valid.
'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.
'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.
But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.
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#it's wild that this site champions hobbyists but is so disrespectful to professional artists#I guess it's the whole thing of when people have a little knowledge they tend to overestimate what they know#anyway that's my vfx artist rant for the month#ya'll don't even know what a macbeth chart or a LUT is
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I’m convinced if ppl on this site knew how crappy gifs look before you color them properly, they would appreciate editors more
#gif#specifically reblogging this version of the chain#because someone just put the response above it on my dash#and my blood pressure spiked#5 second gifs displayed on tumblr are a different medium from whatever longform media they're adapting#like i appreciate the effort gif hobbyists put into things#and to translate things from their original medium to a new one#and to optimize it for that new format#but stop insulting people who created something for a medium you're not even viewing it on#this is the equivalent of saying that the people who created the show you're creating an amv from should quit#because they put the scenes in the wrong order for the song you set it to#(also THE COLORISTS and DPs created the grading look)#(not the editors)#(editors assemble footage -- sometimes have to grade on smaller productions because they wear multiple hats)#(but usually it's a much simpler grade unless they have a lot of time)#color grading is a goddamn art form#and a VERY difficult one at that#you should also see how flat and lifeless the footage looks straight out of the camera#all of that dynamic range you're messing with in photoshop came from somewhere -- it's not magic a gif editor created out of thin air
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If I think any harder about anything I will explode but also if I don’t sit down and have a full day of reading and absorbing media and creating connections in my mind I will also explode. Do you see my problem.
#need to create themes see patterns in media add to my tags brainstorm art pieces I need to create#and also clean my room tidy space start an art project to immediately make a mess again#I need to do that I think
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So, my Big Boss™ wants me to be responsible for the company's Insta. The new production manager has been talking about hashtags, engagement, fun videos and maybe expanding to other platforms.
I really need to tell them that the only social media I'm capable of maintaining is Tumblr. I deactivated my FB circa 2018, only use my Twitter (I refuse to call it "X", it's a stupid name) to follow stupid online dramas from my country, and I just checked my personal insta, and the last time I posted a story was before Christmas last year (and my last TL publication was December 31st, 2022).
#personal#workplace shenanigans#i'm not a social media expert#i'm actually whatever the opposite of a social media expert is#please just let me create my little arts and learn about how to better install a billboard#i don't want to deal with social media nonsense#I just want to mess with Corel
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AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED
Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.
It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:
As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.
If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.
No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).
Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.
There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.
For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.
The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.
Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.
If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.
Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.
Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.
People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.
Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.
Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.
It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.
The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.
I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.
I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.
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I love how much you put in these tags, @miraculouslbcnreactions!
Reblogs appreciated for reach—I’m just genuinely curious! Would love elaboration in the tags but obviously you can just keep your answer anonymous if you want as well
#Despised it#I watch family/children's media very aware of who the intended audience is#And expect all such media to cater to its intended audience and not the adults along for the ride#The season five final was not written for a five-year-old viewer#You don't show a little kid a father willfully poisoning his child (nightmare dust) and locking that child away#And then give that father a happy/peaceful ending#What message is that supposed to send to kids???#I was extra disturbed by that interview where the writers said that this was Gabriel accepting Emilie's death#but also deciding that he can't live without her#Once again: what freaking message is that supposed to send to kids? Shouldn't Adrien's existence be enough to make Gabriel want to live?#Way to drive home how little Gabriel cared about his son.#Plus that is NOT what accepting another person's death looks like! Way to completely fail on that message.#And this was originally the series finale!!! Yikes#Also depending on your read of Emilie's status (dead vs coma/magical stasis)#The final is literally treating either a su*cide or full out murder-su*cide as a happy ending for Gabriel#I don't think kids need to be wrapped in a bubble but by the gods that is freaking dark#Even if later seasons somehow fix this (and I truly do not think that they will) the intended audience is five-to-twelve-year-olds#That's not an age group known for following complex and nuanced plots#The younger end of that group is not waiting with baited breath to see how this messed up ending will resolve itself#They see the happy smiles and Gabriel going into the light and think this is what a happy ending looks like#Oh and way to have Chat Noir leave Ladybug to literally fight the world alone after making his catchphrase “me and you against the world”#Guess that was just lip service?#Why even bother making him a hero if this was the plan all along like they claim?#The final well and truly killed every side of the love square in one fell swoop. And they were already on shaky ground going into the final#Ladynoir isn't the power couple we always wanted and Adrienette is poisoned to a level I don't think that they can come back from#It's all just way too serious for the intended audience. We've gone from rom-com to tragedy.#There is a reason this blog was created mid season five
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MUSE [L.H.]
Logan Howlett x reader
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summary: Logan would never admit it to anyone, but over the course of his long life he has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. He hasn’t done it in years, maybe even decades, but he’s struck by inspiration when he meets you. Of course, no one can know that Wolverine draws, so he does it in the dead of night, sliding anonymous envelopes with the finished drawings of you under your door. When he sees how much you love them, he wonders if you could also love the person behind them.
warnings: smut 18+ but with an actual plot for once (brief m masturbation, oral f and m rec, unprotected piv sex, kind of accidental (but consensual obv) facial; pet names: bub, baby, good girl, princess), soft!Logan but he won’t admit it, also soft!reader, fluff (although the summary makes it sounds a bit more dramatic than it is tbh), implication that reader has curly hair, implied mutant/X-men!reader, (obviously the pic doesn’t represent the envelopes Logan uses lol he’s not doing all that)
word count: 7.3k
also i feel the need to say something about the fact that it’s Hugh Jackman’s birthday today lol so uh thanks for being huge jacked man and for giving us our Logan yay <3 | gorgeous divider by @plutism
It’s everything Logan is the opposite of – he would never tell a soul – but over the course of his long life, Logan has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. It’s not really him, but he did have a phase or two.
When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.
He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him.
Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring.
He gives in to the urge to get out pencil and paper again, waiting until everyone else has gone to sleep. The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises.
Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing.
He picks out a few other things to draw then, to ease the pressure that comes with drawing the woman he… is friends with. Yeah, you’re a friend. And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more.
But after a few nights he feels more confident in his drawing skills again, but still, as much as he can picture you in his mind – he can do that absolutely perfectly – he’s not too sure he could really draw you accurately.
So he gets Rogue to show him how goddamn fucking Instagram works so that he can look at some of your pictures and use them as a model.
He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.
He can’t believe it, but the first time he seriously attempts to draw you, it’s perfect. It’s a small drawing, not even as big as his palm, capturing your gorgeous face. He thinks of adding another few lines to your eyebrows, or to your hair or another small one to the outline of your lips, but he doesn’t want to mess with it.
Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite.
He hides the drawing in between the pages of a book, and hides the book under a pile of random clutter on his desk that not even he would normally spare a glance at. But when he lies down to go to sleep, he gets all the stuff out again and gets out the drawing. He wants to see it again. And he can’t leave it there anyway, what if the pressure from all the items on top of it smudges it?
But he doesn’t know what else to do with it. He can’t really have a drawing of you sitting in his room. What if someone sees? Then what is he gonna do with it instead?
He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again.
He could give it to you.
Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing?
The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him. To see the side that has him staying up until 3AM to finely trace the lines of someone’s eyelashes and cheekbones and lips, the side that makes him feel calm inside.
He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it.
Sappy motherfucker.
He puts the small drawing back into the book and carefully pushes it between his mattress and the bedframe to protect it during the night. God, who even is he – protecting a tiny piece of paper? He groans at himself as he turns around to go to sleep.
He dreams of making a thousand drawings of you, with you as his live model. His muse.
You’re his girlfriend in his dream, he thinks.
He’s sitting in a chair in your room, drawing you as you tell him about your day. You’re lying on your bed on your tummy, elbows propped up to support your head. You’re gently kicking your feet in the air behind you, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of Logan’s, some silly graphic socks, panties with little cherries on them, and a bright, bashful smile as Logan attempts to capture your glowing features in a sketch block he’s dedicated to drawings of you.
He wakes up with morning wood.
Logan is no stranger to jerking off with you on his mind, so he spits in his hand and slips it beneath his boxers, stroking himself as he thinks of you. He imagines you on top of him as he jerks his cock, imagines you under him, or with your legs around his head, or you between his knees on the floor. He cums quickly and hard, leaving his boxers wet and sticky.
He goes for a run after he’s dealt with it and picks up an envelope on his way. He’s doubting himself but he knows he has to just do it. He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door.
So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart.
It’s soo stupid.
He makes sure no one is anywhere near your bedroom, walks up to your door, and slides the envelope underneath. Except he didn’t check if you were in your room. As soon as the envelope disappears beneath your door, he hears a short creak from your bed and your soft footsteps.
He hears the small and adorable noise of curiosity you let out – a confused hm? – and then he quickly and quietly makes his way down the hallway. He hears your voice about ten seconds later, an intrigued hello? as you open the door, but you don’t investigate further, closing the door behind you.
Logan’s heart is beating so fast. He’s never doing this shit again.
He’s antsy all day, waiting for some type of reaction from you. Except you don’t know that the drawing is from him so he’s probably not even getting one, and he can’t conspicuously come to your room the same day you receive an anonymous drawing of yourself.
It’s also when the insecurity settles in. Maybe he should have added a few more lines or started the entire drawing anew. Who does he think he is pretending to be an artist?
He shakes those thoughts off as he starts training with the punching bag in the gym. It’s not something that he necessarily needs to train, but it gets rid of some of that pointless energy. This isn’t him, worried about some lines he drew on a piece of paper – a scrap of a paper, really. Who cares about something like that? Certainly not him.
He sleeps dreamlessly and wakes up the next day disappointed that he didn’t get to dream about being your boyfriend again. God, what are you doing to him? Making him think about being boyfriend and girlfriend. He’s pathetic. You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.
-
He’s not even thinking of the drawing anymore, truly, when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. It only comes to mind when he sees you, alone in the kitchen, leaning over the counter to scroll on your phone, your weird green coffee (“it’s Matcha, Logan”) next to you as you stir it mindlessly with a metal straw.
“Hi,” you look up with one of those sweet smiles of yours, but redirect your attention to your phone.
At least you don’t immediately say something like hey, you know that drawing you slid under my door? It was so ugly I threw it away. Since when do you even draw?
Not that he was worried you would or anything. He hasn’t been thinking about it. Obviously. Why would he? And he knows you would never expect that it’s him; that’s the only reason he did it. He never would have given you the drawing if he thought you could have even the slightest inkling that Logan would be someone who draws. But he still wants to know what you think of it.
“You want some toast too?” You ask, putting your phone down and turning to get some bread. He sits down at the other side of the kitchen counter and as his eyes flicker to your green drink (he still doesn’t get it), he sees it.
“Is that–” my drawing, he almost said, “What is that?” He pretends to be confused, drawing his eyebrows together, trying his best to look inquisitive, “No toast by the way, thanks.”
You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing.
“Did you draw it?” He asks.
You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.”
“Secret admirer?”
Smiling, you say, “I don’t know. I won’t get my hopes up. But the person must definitely be fond of me to draw me like that.”
“Like what?” He asks, unsure if he’s about to be offended.
“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that.
But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?”
You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”
Logan stays silent. He can’t seem too pushy and draw attention to himself, but his silence makes you confess.
“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.”
Logan makes a noise of satisfaction and smiles, asking you to pass your phone so he can look at it more – pretending it’s his first time seeing it. If you think that way about it, maybe the three more lines he was going to add aren’t that important after all.
The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created.
-
After a week, he figures he has to give in. Drawing another picture of you is on his mind twenty-four seven.
It doesn’t help that he still catches you staring at the copy of it in your phone case lovingly more than once a day and you’ve put the original drawing in a special little frame on your nightstand. He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing.
This is for you. It’s not about him. He’s not an artist or anything like that, he’s just doing something kind for someone he cares about (which is honestly sappy enough but he tries to ignore that). He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy.
He’ll just make this second drawing and silently put it in your room, and he’s the last person you’ll suspect.
But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end.
It takes him an entire month for the next drawing, and it feels more like him that it’s been making him so angry that he couldn’t get it right at first. Maybe he had the wrong picture of artists. They’re always talking about pain, aren’t they, and that’s what he experiences too (over a drawing. Who is he?).
He takes another few days to keep track of your routine, to monitor when you’ll be in your room. He can’t have it be as close as last time.
He ends up doing it in the evening. There’s a time after dinner when most of the team stays together to watch tv, just talk, or play some games. It’s normal for some of you to wander off, come back or stick around a bit longer. It won’t be suspicious if he leaves for a few minutes and comes back.
Logan wants nothing more than to follow you when you say that you’re going to your room for the night; he wants to see your reaction. But he can’t. All he can do is go up to his own bedroom fifteen minutes later, lingering in the hallway longer than he needs to.
Just as he’s about to give up and go to sleep, you walk down the hallway, coming back from the bathroom.
“Logan!” you call all excitedly when you see him, and his heart skips a beat. Do you know the drawing is from him?
“Look,” you take his arm and pull him to your room, “I got another drawing!”
He breathes out in relief; you don’t know it’s from him. He smiles when you hold up the drawing, already framed.
“Were you expecting to get another drawing?” he teases.
“Noo, but the frames came in a pack of two. Isn’t it gorgeous?”
Logan looks at how your eyes sparkle, how proudly you’re showing him this drawing. All the work he put into it was definitely worth it. It’s another picture of your face, this time from a new angle, and with your hair styled differently, curls coiled another way from last time.
Logan clears his throat, remembering to keep up his act. “It looks good.”
“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.”
He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.
“It is. And you don’t have to know much about art or drawing to see how pretty this is. I still can’t believe someone would take the time to make these for me.”
Logan remains silent instead of saying what he wants to tell you. Of course he would take that time for you – and you don’t even know how much time it really took him. If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you.
Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.
-
He’s on a roll for some time. He’s better at drawing again now that he’s getting in practice, and he makes five drawings of you within the next weeks. Logan watches the collection of them on your nightstand grow fuller, along with your smile that somehow gets bigger every time you tell him about a new drawing.
It’s a wonder you haven’t caught on yet, but you don’t seem particularly interested in snooping around to find out who it is. You respect the person’s privacy, but you’ve confessed to him that you’d still love to know.
“I won’t try to find out who it is. I won’t push it if they don’t want me to know… but, I mean, anyone would want to know, wouldn’t they?”
You’ve adopted the nickname of ‘secret admirer’ for this mysterious ‘they’, after Logan used the term about ten times. You were reluctant at first, because the person isn’t calling themself a secret admirer – you’d just be putting words in their mouth. But after seeing how much more beautiful the drawings get each time, you’ve accepted and admitted that, okay, yes, the person must be an admirer.
Your secret admirer Logan is particularly proud of his latest drawing, excited to bring it up to your room tonight.
But this time he’s sloppy. He’s stayed for a few post-dinner card games with the team, and it’s risky, because you’ve been saying that it’s your last game for the last two rounds. But he also knows that you always say that, and never mean it.
Logan gets up to leave, and he hears Scott convincing you to play just one more round.
It’s stupid, really, risking it like that. Even if he’s gone from your room in time before you come upstairs, you could easily guess that it’s Logan. He’s the first one leaving the round tonight, so your first assumption could be that it was him.
Maybe subconsciously he wants to get caught. He’s seen how you light up at every drawing, and no matter how much you respect your admirer’s anonymity, of course you want to know who’s dedicating so much time and work to drawings of you. Of course it’s crossed your mind that the person isn’t just doing this because they’re a good friend. They’re drawing your face because they think it’s beyond beautiful.
Logan doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told you yet that he likes you. He’s good at flirting, and he’s attractive – he’s not blind. But with you it’s different, there’s a bigger risk, for the both of you. The older he gets, the harder it is to open up to yet another person. You’re friends, and you talk about personal things, but confessing that he’s in love with you is different.
Not to mention this stupid recurring dream he keeps having, in which you find out it’s Logan who’s been drawing you, and suddenly your opinion of the drawings changes. You don’t like him back like that, and suddenly the drawings feel creepy if you think about him staying up late drawing your face.
He rolls his eyes at himself and gets the thought out of his head, taking the small envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans, smoothing his hand over it. He looks around, making sure no one sees him.
Logan bends down to slide the envelope under your door as usual, but one of the corners of the paper catches against the wall, and he quickly opens it to check the drawing isn’t damaged. His heart is beating so fast, he feels stupid.
He can hear footsteps, still far away, but he can hear them. Logan messily licks the edges of the envelope to close it back up, but it’s not sticking. He can’t decide between shoving it under the door like this or leaving now and bringing it back the next day. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage now.
Then he hears it. He miscalculated how far the footsteps were.
“Logan?”
He turns around slowly, and it feels like the world has frozen.
You come closer, looking at him and then at the letter that he must’ve dropped. It hasn’t made it under your door yet.
He says something before you can, “I’m delivering for someone else.”
“Who?” you ask, bending down to pick up the envelope. If he wasn’t petrified, he’d enjoy the view of you bent over in front of him.
He breathes. He can’t have anyone taking credit for his work, for his art (you called it that recently, he would never). But his heart is beating so fast he doesn’t know what the fuck to do or say.
This is exactly why he never wanted to do any of this. He’s making a fool out of himself and that doesn’t usually happen, especially not over a piece of paper. Logan is confident, cocky even, he can admit that, and has no idea how to deal with things like being nervous; he never has to. This really isn’t him.
You don’t wait for an answer and look at the envelope. You open it so carefully, gently taking the drawing out with your fingertips. You’re treating it with so much care he immediately feels better. Again, this isn’t for him, it’s for you. (Well, it’s for him too but it’ll take him a while to admit that).
He’s drawn your smile this time. You were happy in most of the drawings before, but he focussed more on the eyes, and your lips only ever tugged up in a slight smile.
This one is a full-toothed grin, mid-laugh.
You two were drinking last weekend. He barely felt it but your tipsy, giggly mood was contagious. He couldn’t imagine himself feeling any other way but blissful when you’re happy around him.
It started when Logan made a casual comment about something silly Scott was wearing that night, and he had you giggling. He wanted to immediately hear that angelic sound again, of course, and so he gave you every joke about your shared friends he could think of – all light-hearted, but he was still glad you two were alone.
It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.
You look up at him now, eyes filled with tears.
“You drew this?” you ask.
He nods softly. He can’t say it but he hopes the drawings convey how in love with you he is.
Suddenly, Logan feels like his heart has stopped beating.
You’re kissing him.
You’ve leaped up, wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and now your lips are on his.
He feels your mouth falter, probably because he’s being a fucking idiot and not kissing you back. Logan places his hands on your waist to pull you further towards him. Then his brain finally catches up and he can do what he’s wanted to for so long.
He takes your chin with two fingers and angles you so you can kiss him easier. He closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your soft, warm lips against him. You’re soft and warm all over. Your top has slipped up over his fingertips at your sides, and he slides his hands further around your back to support you against him even better.
Logan’s tongue pushes at your lower lip, and you let out the sexiest, tiny moan of surprise as you part your lips for him, granting him access.
His tongue touches the tip of yours and from then on your cravings intensify. You feel your way over his muscular shoulders, his big biceps and over the hard planes of his chest. When you’ve had a good feel there, your hands grip his shirt in desperation and Logan gets even hungrier for you. He gently bites at your lower lip, but then you shriek into his mouth and squirm out of his grasp. He opens his eyes wide.
You grip Logan’s forearm for support when you bend down in a panic, picking up the drawing you just dropped. You let out a big breath of relief when you see it hasn’t been damaged.
“You made me drop it!” You slap a hand to his chest; it doesn’t actually hurt and it’s not meant to, but it leaves a pleasant tingle behind instead.
“I didn’t do anything”, Logan laughs, and you shake your head at him with a smile.
You take him into your room where you make him sit on the bed while you stare at the new drawing in awe. “I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it.
“No one else knows.”
You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.
“I’ll only draw for you anyway, so there’s no point in telling anyone else.”
“You’re really good. I love the drawings.”
Logan gives a satisfied hum at your words, “You inspired me. Can’t have you walking around all pretty and not expect me to try and recreate it.”
You straddle Logan and hover over his lap to hug him, “They’re the best thing anyone's ever given to me. Do I really look like that?” You say the last question more quietly, and Logan wraps his arms around your sides, careful not to bump your hand that’s still holding the drawing.
“You’re more gorgeous than anything I could ever capture, but I think it comes close. I didn’t change anything about you to make you more beautiful. I couldn’t if I tried. I just tried to draw you as accurately as possible, that’s why it’s so beautiful.”
“I really love it,” you say again, happily staring at the details of the drawing. Hearing you say the word love so much tempts Logan, but he doesn’t want to move too fast. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He does, however, want to kiss you again.
Logan carefully takes the framed drawing and puts it on your nightstand. You push your mouth against his before he can initiate the kiss, and he grins against your lips.
You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.
Your chest is pressed against Logan’s, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. You may or may not be pressing your boobs against his body on purpose.
“God, baby, I’ve waited so long for this,” he says, already breathless, as his hands trail down your back, leaving goosebumps behind.
“You’ve waited long?” you raise your eyebrows, grinning, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I met you.”
You see the look in Logan’s eyes changing as he bites his lip, “Who says I didn’t want the same?”
You giggle, “Why did it take us so long?”
Logan chuckles, readjusting you so that you’re even closer to him, “I was too busy to actually talk to you, just been starin’ at you so I could draw you.” His cheeks have the faintest red tint, and you kiss them, hugging him.
You whisper into his ear, “Then it was worth the wait. And anyway, it’s not talking that I’m interested in right now.”
He pulls you back to look into your eyes, then at your lips. “Where do you want me?” he asks. You giggle slightly helplessly; you weren’t entirely prepared to have a man like Logan at your mercy like this tonight.
“You can do whatever you want,” you say softly, kissing him.
Logan’s lips are hungry against yours, strings of spit falling between you two, but he pauses the kiss to lie you on your back. “Wanna eat you out,” he husks, “Been dying to know what you taste like forever, bub. Can I?” He reaches for the hem of your top, and you nod so that he can pull it off you, admiring what’s underneath.
“Sometimes I make myself cum imagining that I’m going down on you,” you confess somewhat shyly, but you figure he’s been so vulnerable for you that you can share a secret too.
Logan smirks, and pulls off his shirt, “Maybe we can make your dream come true then.”
You move to sit up, but he insists on eating you out first. You both take off all your clothes, staring at each other with huge smiles on your faces for a few moments. You’ve never seen Logan this happy.
“Look at you, baby. So pretty,” he leans down to kiss your lips, then down your neck, all the way to your legs. He spreads them, lying down between them as he all but drools at the sight of your wet pussy.
You get nervous all of a sudden. “It’s been a while,” you tell him. He looks up, taking your hand, enveloping it completely in his much bigger one.
“You sure about this? We can wait,” he gently kisses your knuckles, and a warmth spreads in your chest, slowing your heartbeat down a little.
“I’m sure,” you nod, and Logan comes up again to kiss you. The head of his hard cock catches against the space above your clit, and you both look down between your bodies. When Logan looks back up at you, his eyes are desperately begging you. You place your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his hair as he moves down your body.
“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he mumbles into your thigh, kissing you there. You giggle, getting comfortable, your hand never leaving his hair.
Logan starts eating you out, his tongue gentle but determined against your clit.
“Taste so good, baby. Even better than I imagined.” You hum at Logan’s words, already feeling yourself come undone with his mouth on your wet pussy.
You sink further into the mattress when he starts sucking on your clit, licking into your pussy like a man starved every few moments, and your thighs squeeze around Logan’s head, and it’s even better than in his fantasies.
“Feels really good,” you tell him, pulling on his hair to stop yourself from moving too much, and Logan moans against your skin. Hearing your words motivates him even more, and he pushes two fingers into your wet pussy. He curls his fingers, rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.
Your back arches as you cum, Logan’s lips wrapped around your clit as your legs push harder against his head, and all he does is moan, revelling in the feeling.
Logan doesn’t stop licking your pussy until you’re tugging his head away by his hair, and he comes up for air with a grin on his face. You smile back, pulling him up to kiss him. You give yourself only a few seconds of recovery time before you make him sit down. You know you’d never have enough strength to actually make him get into a different position, but he lets you.
You push him onto his back, getting between his legs. You’re blinking up at him all prettily when you ask, “Can I suck your dick? Please?”
Logan huffs to himself because he can’t believe how hot you are, can’t believe that this is really finally happening. He tells you yes – he has no more words to describe how badly he wants this – and he watches you wrap your pretty lips around his cock.
It’s hard to grasp that it’s really you doing this right now – the woman he’s been into for so long. His cock is in your mouth and you look so gorgeous with spit running down from your lips, and all he can think of is all the dirty drawings he can now make of you, if you’ll let him.
He closes his eyes when you take him deeper, enveloping him with your warm, wet mouth. “Good girl,” he whispers absent-mindedly, too gone to say much more.
You’re not using your hands as you suck his cock, your spit trailing down on him, and you’re so eager. But it’s also late, and he sees you getting tired, eyes blinking slower as you pause to catch your breath every few moments. He also sees the determination in your eyes, and the absolute want, but he doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself.
You look so sexy all fucked out, strings of spit connecting your mouth to his cock as you pull away another time, giggling up at him shyly when you realise that he’s noticing you getting tired.
“Just need a second,” you wipe your mouth, out of breath, and it’s not that you’re not incredibly hot like this, but he still wants to fuck you tonight and he’s not sure that will happen if you keep going.
“C’mere, baby,” he says, reaching out his hand.
“Huh?” you ask, taking his hand nevertheless.
“Get back here, baby. I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? Don’t want you tiring yourself out.”
You let him lift you and put you on your back, but you pout, “Wanna taste you.”
Logan grins, “I’ll cum in your mouth, princess. Promise.”
You smile at his answer, satisfied, so you lie back down, pulling your legs up to your chest. His cock looks huge as he jerks himself off between your legs, rubbing the tip against your clit, making you squirm.
“Don’t know if I can take you,” you bite your lip. You’re not entirely sure if you mean it or not. You definitely want to try.
“We’ll make it fit, baby, we’ll make it fit,” Logan assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth, a mix of your wetness and his precum between your mouths. You feel his cock at your pussy, “You ready?”
“I’m ready,” you nod desperately, letting him push his cock into your pussy. He pauses after a few inches, but you wrap your legs around his waist more tightly, and he goes deeper.
“Y’okay, baby? You can take it, right?”
You nod, unable to form words with your pussy stretched like this, a combination of pleasure and pain between your legs – but it’s infinitely more pleasure.
“That’s right. You’re my good girl, hm?” He kisses along your neck as he bottoms out, and you both moan when he’s got his cock fully stuffed inside you for the first time. He pulls out slightly when you whine at the stretch, but you scratch down his back to get his attention.
“I can take it,” you tell him, and you watch the look in his eyes darken.
He begins to fuck you, the pain subsiding more with every thrust into your wet pussy. You can barely take him, but it feels good. With your slight tiredness, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine.
You can’t believe that Logan – your super hot friend Logan who you’ve been fantasising about for so long – is fucking you. He not only feels the same way about you, but he’s been your secret admirer this entire time, taking hours and hours out of his day to make you smile. You’re the only one he wants.
And now he’s fucking you, fucking you well, and you feel so warm inside, not just from the sex but you feel warm in your heart, because of Logan’s care.
“You okay?” he asks, stroking a hand down your face when he notices you’re not entirely present. You nod happily, smiling up at him, and you can’t talk because you feel so good.
“Good, that’s good, bub, but let me know if it gets too much,” he says as he starts rubbing your clit, watches you nod while he’s fucking you so well, and he’s so big and so deep inside of you, “Squeezing me so tight, baby, feel so fucking good.”
You cum suddenly, letting the warm pleasure flow through your body as Logan keeps fucking you through it, rubbing your clit in just the right rhythm.
“That’s my girl, taking it so well,” he moans, breaths stuttering. You slump against the pillow after a few moments, with a soft smile on your face, and Logan pulls out.
“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he jerks his cock, and you sit up on your elbows immediately, looking him in the eyes with a smile as you stick out your tongue for him. He promised.
Logan moans when he cums, painting your face in his release, jerking himself off. He holds your head in place with his other hand, aiming for your mouth but you’re making no effort to catch his cum there.
“Such a pretty fucking face, princess, ’m cumming all over it,” he rasps, shooting more ropes of his cum all over your cheeks, jacking off onto your face.
You open your eyes when he’s done and breathing heavily, and you smile up at him. You open your mouth, taking the head of his cock between your lips to suck off the last drops of cum.
“Look at you, baby. Look so fucking pretty with my cum all over your gorgeous face.”
You hum, pulling your mouth off him and licking your lips, tasting his salty release. You brush a finger over your cheek, sucking it into your mouth to taste him more. Logan kisses you then, the flavour of himself mixing between your mouths.
He cleans you up gently, carefully wiping your face with a baby wipe and kissing every inch of your cheeks afterwards. You take his face to kiss him properly, and if you didn’t seem so tired Logan would be ready for round two immediately.
“Next time you could try to actually cum in my mouth,” you tease, making Logan grin.
“Sorry, baby. Got too excited. Couldn’t focus on asking you again if it was okay.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I liked it.”
Logan grins, “Oh I could tell you liked it, baby.” You lightly slap his chest as you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss.
You cuddle for a while, not saying much because you don’t have to. You’ve both waited for this for so long that you’re just enjoying the moment, enjoying that it finally happened.
You slip out of his arms to sit on top of him. You’re in nothing but panties, the blanket bunching around your hips. You lean your hands against his chest as you tell him more about how much the drawings delighted you. And Logan cares, of course he cares to hear that, but he’s also just a man seeing the woman he’s into naked for the first time still.
You become quiet when you realise that he’s not listening, and you giggle, “Distracted?”
Logan grins, “Just a little fucking bit, baby.” His eyes don’t leave your body, and you laugh as you bend down to kiss him. He grabs your ass, kneading the flesh. When you slightly sit up again, your tits are near his face, and he can’t help himself. He cups your breasts, playing with your nipples, making you hum.
“I should draw these,” he looks up at you, “Should draw every perfect fucking inch of you.”
“You wanna?” You adjust how you’re seated in his lap, and you feel that he’s already half hard under you again.
“Maybe after I’ve fucked you again.”
You smile, feeling yourself growing wetter on top of him.
“Tomorrow,” he continues, and your smile drops.
“But you’ve got to get more familiar with the inspiration, right? If you’re going to draw me.”
“That’s true, baby. But I think you’re too tired.”
You smile bashfully, ignoring how your eyelids were drooping shut just a few seconds ago, “Okay, but then I’ll have more energy for tomorrow.”
“That’s my girl,” he smiles, pulling you off him to cuddle you again. He tucks you in and kisses your head.
You turn to your side, taking one of the framed drawings and looking at it for a while.
Logan watches you looking at it, and the sparkle in your eyes never fails to make him feel all warm inside. “Now that you actually know about it, I don’t have to draw you from memory anymore. I can study my muse in peace.”
“Aww, I’m your muse?” you beam.
“Of course you are, princess. You’re the only reason I’m drawing again.”
“I love your drawings so much.”
Logan clears his throat, and looks at you. “Well, I love you. So, I think that went into them.”
You look at him, pouting and then kissing him. “I love you too,” you say into his mouth. He grins against your lips, pulling you closer to kiss you some more. He can barely grasp that you just said that, but he’ll have enough time soon to comprehend how lucky he is.
For now, he takes your hand, and asks, “The question might be redundant now, but do you wanna be mine? Be my girlfriend?”
“I’m already yours.”
Logan grins, takes you in his arms, and you’re still cuddling when you’re both drifting off to a peaceful sleep.
P.S. reblog with a comment and let me know your favourite moment/what you liked to get a drawing from Logan under your door tonight and a facial <33
gorgeous divider by @pommecita
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine#fem!reader#selfcarecap
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OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (03)
social media & irl AU !
pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content sexual jokes, rafe being a sweetheart( & an idiot) !
NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 02 ¡ 03 ¡ 04
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The past week was beyond perfect, you knew something bad was occuring, whether you liked it or not. Unlike what you had in mind, the trip was fun, with you and Sarah attached at the hip, doing everything you missed out on for the past two years.
You partied a decent amount, had a lot of dates and dinners, with Rafe and Ryan third wheeling, of course. And that's besides the beach errands you ran at least twice a day. However, that all came crashing down when you got your period, falling into a state of apathy the moment you discovered you were on it.
It was bearable at first, you still hung out with the rest, sunbathing while they surfed, sat to the side when they cooked, but your cramps had other plans, ruining your day when you no longer could tolerate the pain, leading to no good. You locked yourself in your room, isolating yourself from everyone else, immediately brushing off their attempts to allure you out.
It was that bad, even Sarah chose to keep her distance, giving you space, fully aware of your mood swings when it came to dealing with your period cramps. The blonde did everything in her power to keep you comfortable, only reaching out to you when it was necessary, and to that, you were grateful, because Ryan on the other hand, was behaving like a total bitch.
And well, Rafe was sweet. He was clueless, yet, he knew you were feeling under the weather, offering to take over your tasks when Rysn forced you to do chores. You had to keep reminiscing over the fact that this was a mere joke, and that he’s off limits, hence he’s your brother’s best friend.
But how could you? Rafe was an angel, everything you looked for in a guy, and while it’s only been a bit over a week since you’ve met him, the subtle gazes you exchanged did nothing but create a giddy mess out of you.
You forced yourself out of bed, body drenched with sweat due to the thick hoodie hugging your figure. You approached the bathroom, with the intent of freshening up, eternally grateful it was connected to your room.
With a groan, you reached for the wood cabinets, unlatching them with a swift movement. You reached for the container of spare pads you had brought, heart sinking to your stomach when nothing came within your reach, indicating you were out. That only added to your pent up frustration, letting out a cry as you tossed the box in the trash.
Those were supposed to last you a week, yet, here you were, out on the second day of your period. Usually, your cycle wasn’t on the heavy side, that it completely went past your mind to bring more, just in case it was one of those days.
Your parents were nowhere in sight when you called out for them, implying that they weren’t home. You had no choice but to reach out to Ryan, contemplating whether it was a good idea with how whiny he was, a good chance he’ll probably refuse.
Therefore, it was no surprise when you knocked and called out his name, receiving no response in return. You rolled your eyes, erupting through the door, instantly regretting the gesture as you came to a halt, spotting none other than Rafe on Ryan’s bed, with your brother nowhere in sight.
Rafe was accompanied with his phone, laying flat on his chest, his bare back glowing under the sunlight peeking through the window blinds. You grew flustered to the sight, forcing your eyes away from the latter when he perked up, conscious of your presence mere inches away.
A low hum bubbled out of Rafe’s throat, stretching his arms over his head as he tossed his phone to the side, now facing in your direction. He flashed you a tight-lipped smile, seeking his shirt with his gaze, not wanting to put you in an awkward situation with the state he was in.
Right, he was shirtless, it was rude of you to come in without knocking, especially now, as your gaze burned holes through his skin, too hazed to pull your eyes away from his broad torso. How could you, when his chest was out on display, the view inviting, so there, it left you no choice but to stare?
“Sorry,” you muttered through a breath, clenching the hem of your hoodie in between your fingers. “I didn’t know you’d be in here, I thought Ryan was ignorin’ me.”
“It’s okay,” Rafe reassured, throwing his shirt over his head. “Ryan’s not here, he’s been gone since this morning.”
“Right,” you nodded, his absence skipping over your head. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
“Do you need anything?” Rafe interrupted your plan of exiting, causing your hand to halt around the doorknob.
“It’s nothing,” you brushed off his concerns with a polite smile, “Jus’ wanted to grab a few things, since the fridge is empty.”
“Okay,” Rafe shot back, springing out of his seat. “Let’s go.”
“Wait, what?” Your eyes slightly widened, taken aback by his suggestion.
“Do you not want to go?” He playfully poked back, strolling past you, your eyes following his figure, landing where he stood against the railing. “I’ll take you.”
“You don’t have to!” You instantly refused, hands waving in front of your chest. “I’ll just wait until he’s back, it’s no big deal–”
“Don’t be stubborn,” Rafe chimed back, his footsteps echoing through your ears, observing as he walked down the stairs. He looked over his shoulder, merely to glimpse in your direction. “I’ll wait for you downstairs, come down when you’re ready.”
Rafe left you no choice but to do as he said, throwing on a decent outfit before heading downstaits, and making your way outside. The latter already had the engine started, his door slightly open, with the hum of the radio playing in the background. He perked up when you approached the car, tossing his phone in the cup holder. Rafe watched as you got in, quickly clicking your seatbelt on, so you don’t delay your leave any longer.
The drive to the grocery store stretched with comfortable silence, atmosphere heavy with tension you both chose not to address, letting it seep through the whole ride. You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, exiting the car as soon as Rafe was parked.
Rafe followed in your steps, attempting to catch up with you through the somewhat cramped space. It was a good grocery run, quick yet filled with chaos, as Rafe stacked the cart with unnecessary things that you knew would go unnoticed, only getting acknowledged once they’re past the due date.
Despite your desperate need for pads; the whole purpose of this errand, your embarrassment took over everytime you circled around the aisle, eyeing it while you tried to come up with a good excuse for you to grab them, feighing the boy’s presence, who was growing suspicious because of how anxious you were.
Rafe could only handle so much, halting when you hit your third round in the ‘hygiene care aisle’, the gesture earning a puzzled expression out of you. You turned in the boy’s direction, breath knocking out of your chest when you caught him observing the various type of pads displayed on the shelves.
“Which one do you want?” He questioned, hand landing on a random brand, one you’ve never heard of before. “This one?” ‘
He knew. The realization made your cheeks flush with heat, feeling it crawl past your neck, and settle across your face, your bewildered expression failing to hide your embarrassment. Usually, you were very vocal about your needs, you don’t get why it was hard to voice out what you wanted, especially in Rafe’s presence.
Whether it’s you being nervous, or embarrassed, either way frustrated you, making you even more confused than you already were.
“What?” You choked out, tensning from where you stood.
“Do you not use that one?” He questioned, eyebrows furrowing with confusion. He clicked his teeth, observing each one, until he pointed at another brand. “How about this one? I heard it’s a good brand.”
“You heard?” You repeated, your voice filled with disbelief. “I– listen, Rafe, I don’t need them, let’s jus’ leave.”
“Who are you fooling here?” He scoffed, slightly teasing with his tone. “You clearly need them, this is the third time we’ve come through this section, it can’t be for no reason.”
You hated that he was right, his statement making you even more flustered, creating a mess out of you in front of him. You cleared your throat, striving to come up with an excuse that will get you out of this situation, merely to result with nothing in return.
“It’s not for me,” shit, “Sarah said she needed pads, it’s not something I could bring up, since you insisted on tagging along.”
“Mhm,” Rafe hummed, a knowing smile tugging at his lips, not convinced by your explanation. “Now tell me, which one do you use?”
“I’m serious!” You exclaimed, abashed by his teasing.
“Sorry, I mean, which one does Sarah use?” He corrected, chest swelling with pride with his words were getting to you, affecting you whole as you stumbled to mutter a coherent sentence out. “Now hurry, we don’t have all day.”
“Oh, shush.” You rolled your eyes, suppressing the smile forming on your lips. “Don’t rush me.”
You paused for a second, snorting when you noticed him reaching for his phone, for the mere purpose of searching the brand he has in hand, his curiosity getting the best of him. You snatched it from his hold, placing it back on the shelf, the action earning a puzzled look out of the boy.
“What was that for?” He started, voice so soft, that you almost felt guilty for interfering.
“It’s not a good brand,” you reasoned, reaching for the one you always used. “This one is, though.”
“Yeah?” Rafe questioned, his lips smudging with a cocky grin. “Does Sarah use it?”
“She does,” you choked out, tossing the box of pads in the cart, completely avoiding Rafe’s gaze. “Let’s leave before it gets dark outside.”
Rafe made sure to grab a few more boxes from the brand you had chosen, throwing them in the cart along with the other stuff you brought. You both stood in line, having gotten everything you wanted, merely needing to check out, and then you’d be ready to go.
There wasn’t plenty of people in front of you, relieved once you eventually reached your turn. Rafe was kind enough to do all the heavy work, handing the stuff for the cashier to check them out, insisting you let him do it when you offered a helping hand.
The lady assisting you grinned, catching sight of all the chocolate bars and essentials displayed in front of her, mind travelling elsewhere at the sight of you two. Rafe stood next to you once he was done, flashing the lady a polite smile, one she swiftly returned.
“You’re quite the gentleman, aren’t you?” She started, her voice earning your attention, as well as Rafe’s, whose knuckles hovered over yours, the fraction sending shivers down your spine. “Taking care of your girlfriend while she’s ill; not a lot of men do that.”
Her words made you stop in your tracks, the assumptions causing your eyes to widen with shock. Your lips parted to speak, striving to correct the lady, action falling short when Rafe beat you to it, the words he mumbled next causing your breath to hitch.
“Aren’t I the sweetest?” He cooed, slinging his arm around your shoulder, then applying enough pressure to bring you close to his chest, now fully tangled in his hold. “Isn’t that right, girlfriend?”
“What the hell are you doing?” You whispered through gritted teeth, just loud enough for Rafe to hear you.
He cocked his head to the side, flashing you a look that almost melted you in the spot, his attempt to get you to go along with the bit totally working, even if it was a low blow. You stiffened under his touch, turning back to the lady, who was admiring you two with so much endearment, you felt guilty confronting her about the situation.
This is not something your brother’s best friend should do; pretend you’re his girlfriend out in public, well aware Ryan would be against it. Hell, if Ryan was there, Rafe would be knocked out on the floor, as you were painfully aware of how protective your brother truly was, especially when it came to his friends.
You’ve had a few of his friends hit on you, and that, it didn’t end quite well, with him cutting them off the moment they crossed the line. You didn’t want that to happen with Rafe, knowing how much Ryan cherished their friendship. Therefore, you didn’t wanna come in between them, ruin the last ounce of hope Ryan was holding onto, even if your emotions got in the way.
The sensation of Rafe’s arm sliding down your waist pulled you out of your head, tensing under the boy when his hand landed just above your hip, his breath fanning over the sliver of skin around your neck not being of much help. And when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did, with the latter leaning forward, and placing a chaste peck to your temple.
His lips burned against your flesh, skin hot on yours, that the moment he withdrew from the touch, you felt the world stop around you, mind too hazy to comprehend the gesture. You stole a glance over your shoulder, instantly fixing your gaze back on the lady when you caught him already staring at you, not failing to hide the smug smile spread across his face.
A sigh of relief escaped your throat when Rafe reached for his wallet, the action creating somewhat of a distance between you two, one you desperately seeked. He handed the lady his card, humming to himself as he punched in his code number, clicking his teeth when it went through, verifying he was done.
“Have a great day.” The lady mumbled, handing Rafe the receipt, with the boy contently accepting it.
“You too,” He forced a smile across his face, pausing before he continued his sentence. “She’s actually my sister, by the way.”
The lady was taken aback by his response, pausing in her spot. She watched Rafe strolling away, turning back to you, as you were just as shocked as she was, frozen where you stood.
“Let’s go, girlfriend.” He tugs your wrist, instantly interwhing your fingers with his.
The walk to the car was silence, the warmness of Rafe’s hand radiating heat through your flesh, the sensation accompanying your head, along with what just happened, the situation shocking you to your core. You felt guilty for the butterflies seeping through your stomach, aware that Rafe was messing around, and that this was nothing you should contemplate about, as he was nothing more than your brother’s best friend.
Rafe let go of your hand, walking around the car, and opening the trunk to throw the stuff inside. He handled them with ease, putting the cart back in the parking area, making sure to be quick with his action. By the time he was back, you were already inside the car, holding back until he took your side to speak.
“What the fuck was that?” You muttered, watching as Rafe started the car, attention fixing on the rearview mirror while he drove out of the parking lot, the hand stretching out to the passenger seat doing things to you.
“What?” He chuckled, manspreading as he adjusted himself into a more comfortable position.
“First, you pretend I’m your girlfriend,” you frowned, a look of disbelief displayed on your face. “Then you proceed to tell her I’m your sister?!”
“C’mon,” he stifled out a laugh, grinning from ear to ear. “You have to admit, it was funny.”
“It wasn’t!” You snorted, rolling your eyes as you relaxed back in your seat, focusing your attention on the road.
“It replaced the frown on your face,” he reasoned, “You can’t tell me it didn’t work.”
That was alone to have you melting, shutting you up right in the spot. The next few minutes filled with silence, background music echoing through your ears as you leaned your head against the window, enjoying the ride back with the dim darkness seeping through.
And you were so close to falling asleep, your plan going interrupted when Rafe approached the Airnbnb, parking the car in the drive through once you were there. You sat up, an exhausted sigh bubbling out of your throat as you stretched your arms over your head.
Rafe grabbed the bags from the trunk, catching up with you once he retrieved everything. You swiftly unlocked the door for him, the gesture earning a grateful smile out of the boy.
“Did you have fun, girlfriend?” Rafe teased, head turning in your direction.
“Oh my god, shut up!” Your pupils dilated with disbelief, taken aback by his question. “Can you not? What if someone hears you?”
“Hear what?”
A familiar voice erupted through your ears, causing you to freeze in your spot. You leisurely turned in the noise’s direction, immediately catching sight of Ryan, who was seated around the table, with food splattered in front of him.
Your throat instantly ran dry, caught off guard by your brother’s presence, mere inches away from where you stood. Your gaze shifted to Rafe as he came in view, walking past you to approach Ryan.
He put the bags on the counter, dabbing Ryan up before he made himself comfortable next to the latter. Ryan whined with complaints, grumbling when Rafe stole a fry from his plate, protesting to the latter eating his food.
“Guess what,” Rafe muffled, swallowing down the food in his mouth. He pointed in your direction, Ryan’s gaze following his finger, until it landed on you. “I took my girlfriend grocery shopping.”
Ryan almost choked on the food he stuffed in his mouth, swiftly turning his head in Rafe’s direction, nearly breaking his neck with the gesture. His eyebrows furrowed with annoyance, growing irritated by the smug expression spread across his best friend’s face.
As for you, you were just as shocked as Ryan was, not expecting Rafe to mention the situation so casually, not in front of Ryan, that’s for sure.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Ryan barely managed to speak.
“What?” Rafe tilted his head to the side, gaze shifting back to you. “She’s my girl.”
“Fuck off, Rafe.” Ryan defensively shot back, “Are you fucking messing with me?”
“He is,” you beat Rafe to responding, afraid something might break out if the latter continued teasing your brother any further. “The lady assumed he was my boyfriend, and he will not shut up about it.”
That earns a giggle out of Rafe, far too amused to acknowledge the fuming boy from beside him, slightly less mad at the explanation you offered him.
They spent the next few minutes bickering, with you technically third wheeling on the side. Rolling your eyes, you took your leave, making sure to grab the bag of pads before you strolled up the stairs, with the intentions of approaching Sarah’s room.
Fortunately, her door was slightly ajjared, the sight of Sarah sprawled across the bed filling the majority of your view. You knocked on the door, peaking your head through to earn the girl’s attention, successfully doing so as she glanced over, gasping when she spotted you.
“Bug!” She chimed, her excitement a silent invitation for you to enter.
“Hi,” you flashed her a smile, instantly embracing the girl in a hug once she was within your reach. “I missed you.”
“Me too,” she muttered, face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. “Where were you?! ‘Haven’t seen you all day.”
“I went grocery shopping with Rafe.” You casually responded, your answer earning a scuff out of Sarah.
“I knew it!” She pulled back, rolling her eyes with a hint of annoyance. “Is that why you both randomly disappeared?”
“I guess,” you pursed your lips into a thin line, suppressing the smile forming on your lips. “It was an emergency, he insisted on taking me, though I was planning on going with Ryan.”
Sarah nodded with understandment, eyes trailing to the bag in your hand, instantly catching on to what you meant.
“I did lie, though.” You confessed, nose scrunching with shame.
“About what?” Sarah chuckled, perking with interest.
“I said they were for you,” your eyes forced shut, “I’m sorry, okay? He put me in the spot, that was the only thing I could come up with!”
“No, that’s–” Sarah’s sentence was interrupted by the burst of giggles erupting out of her throat, unable to contain her laughter for any longer. “That’s totally valid.”
“Why are you laughing, then?!” You chimed in on her laughter, lightly slapping her shoulder.
“I’m telling you Bug,” Sarah started, suppressing her chuckles. “He’s not buying that.”
“You’re making it worse!” You groaned into your hands, falling back on her bed, now faced with the ceiling. “I can’t even face him, you should see the stunt he pulled on me in the store.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound good…” she trailed off, waiting for you to continue.
“Well, we were checking out, then this cashier said he was a gentleman, blah blah blah, she assumed I was his girlfriend, and he sort of went along with it?” You explained, face flushing with heat as you reminisced back on the memory, recalling the feeling of his lips brushing over your temple. “He was acting like an idiot, going all ‘aren’t I the sweetest, girlfriend?’ The lady totally believed it! And guess what, Sarah?!”
“What?!” Sarah almost gasped, curiosity getting the best of her.
“He fucking kissed me!”
At that, an audible gasp escaped Sarah’s throat, shock displaying across her face as her hand came up to cover her parted mouth.
“No fucking way!” She whisper-yelled, repeatedly slapping your arm with excitement. “Was it on like– you know–”
“No!” You clarified, growing flustered due to her assumption. “He kissed my temple, barely even a kiss, but it still happened.”
“You know, I was so invested, I forgot he was my brother.” Sarah mumbled, her statement easing the awkward tension seeping through. “That’s crazy– I mean, not to be weird or anything, but Rafe’s never this touchy with anyone, he sucks at showing affection, especially in public.”
“Don’t say that,” you started, feeling your pulse quicken over her words. “I’m barely holding back as is.”
“Shut up!” Sarah scoffed, “But I’m serious, I’ve received a lot of complaints from his past girlfriends about that, I’m surprised he’d pull something like this, with you, of all people.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be against this?!” You rolled your eyes, covering how flustered you were with fake annoyance. “Why are you encouraging it?”
“I mean, it’s not like I can stop you two from liking each other,” she cocked her head to the side, voice tinted with hope. “Besides, I’ll be happy with any decision that you make, as long as you don’t get hurt, of course!”
“Sarah,” your lips formed into a pout, not expecting her supportive words, though they drove you over the edge, with the forming crush sparkling through your heart. “Stop, why are you so sweet?”
“Oh, come on, I've always been sweet to you.” She cooed, cupping your face with her hands. “Now stop acting sappy, and go freshen up so we can watch a movie.”
“Fine!” You mumbled, chuckling when Sarah pecked your forehead, the sensation like feathers on your skin. “That tickles!”
“It’s a goodbye’s kiss!” She exclaimed, joining in on your giggles. “I know you’ll take long to shower.”
“I’ll be fast.” You replied, getting up from Sarah’s bed, the gesture earning groans of protest from the girl.
You barely managed to escape Sarah’s grip, walking back to your room. A hint of confusion washed over your voice, noticing the way your door cracked half way through, when you could’ve sworn you shut it before you left.
The frown on your face was instantly replaced with a smile as you caught sight of the snacks spread across your bed, along with a heating pad on the side, the familiar chocolate bars unveiling the identity of the person who sprawled these out for you.
Your eyebrows curled at the sight of the cyan pink sticky note just above the heating pad, growing intrigued as you reached out to grab it, the smile on your face spreading into a foolish grin once you read what was written on it.
I know it’s not much, but I hope you feel better, girlfriend ;) - r
Your heart skipped a beat at the note, feeling heat crawl past your neck, until it settled on your face. It wouldn't hurt to thank him for this, right? It’s not like you were making a move on him, your action a mere return for his act of kindness, nothing more.
So you did, slightly hesitating as you exited your room, with the purpose of searching for Rafe. You followed the distant voice echoing through your ears, the sound growing louder the closer you approached the narrowed hallway.
He must’ve been downstairs, along with Ryan, in the same position you left them in, probably still arguing over something absurd. The thought brought a smile to your lips, instantly fading once their words filled the echo of your ears. While you didn't mean to eavesdrop, you were somewhat glad that you did, Rafe’s next statement making your heart sink to your stomach, panic settling through your chest.
“–Not! Relax Ryan,” Rafe argued, his voice slightly muffled. “I’m not gonna date your sister.”
Oh.
Oh.
“Don’t fuck with me, Rafe.” Ryan shot back, pent up frustration visible through his tone. “I told you already, my sister is off limits, don’t make me do something I’ll regret.”
Rafe nodded, face twisting into something serious, replacing the teasing grin he had on his face.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he replied, “She’s like Sarah to me, and you know that.”
Humilation couldn’t describe how you felt in the moment, his statement like a punch to your stomach. A wave of emotions rushed through your insides, ones you couldn’t even concentrate into words.
That should’ve been expected, however, it hurt hearing it out loud, from Rafe of all people.
a/n hi!! i hope you enjoyed it heheeh i promise i have soething planned out theyre not going too fast
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