#tell me why i cried knowing the admiral was better. bc it meant it fucking worked.

[sodivmlight]

i just finished mag 200...

[piecksz]

three’s a crowd | (m)

pairing: reiner x fem!reader x eren

warnings: nsfw, oral sex (female recieving), cuckolding, male masturbation, penetrative sex, voyeurism, slight degredation, slight angst, light mention of drugs, explicit language

summary: reiner’s attempt at hiding his attraction towards you fails, but lucky for him, eren’s feeling generous.

words: 4.6k

a/n: this was so much longer than i planned for.....well.....shit LMAOOO

a/n x2: I FORGOT TO ADD if you guys wanna listen to the song i looped like 47 fucking times while writing this, bc i feel like it fits reiner in this one shot kinda well, u can listen to recognize by partynextdoor (feat. drake) :p enjoy

Reiner hated Eren.

He hadn’t gone into living with someone he’d never met in person before with innumerable expectations, but he wasn’t banking on his roommate to be his polar opposite. He hated the sound of Eren’s riotous music into the early hours of dawn. He hated the unbearable malodor of his marijuana dependence, and he hated the way he carried himself with an intolerable air of arrogance, but as much as Eren’s living habits irritated him, it was the fact that Eren had you that presided over all of his grievances.

Being a witness to it made Reiner sick, knowing that you were leagues above Eren, and surely you deserved someone respectable, but somehow he’d charmed you into a long-term relationship, and Reiner wondered how he’d managed it. If by some miracle it had been up to him, Reiner speculated that he would be a viable match for you--that was if he had those sentiments for you--and he reassured himself he didn’t hold any promiscuous feelings towards his roommate’s girlfriend.

Yet it was hard for Reiner to rationalize the obscene thoughts that pervaded his mind at 2 AM. His clock displayed the time in bold red numbers, an indication that he should have been fast asleep, but you had decided to spend the night, and he already understood what that entailed.

The walls in their apartment were thin and did an insubstantial job of muting the noise that traveled between rooms. Reiner boasted the privilege of having his room right next to Eren’s, which meant he could hear everything that happened on the other side of the barrier. He heard every whimper, every groan, every time Eren praised you for taking him so well, and every time he admired how irresistible you looked while he fucked you from the back. The sound was so lucid he could count exactly how many rounds you guys had gone, and it was usually two, three if Eren hadn’t seen you in a while which was rare.

You two were hard to ignore, no matter how hard Reiner had tried, meaning he was also up late, listening while you two coupled. Your cries of stimulation, however, he didn’t mind as much. In truth, Reiner was always tempted to slip his hands into his pants and get himself off to the sound of your enticing whimpers, but he would discourage himself, deciding it was against his better judgement. Instead he would opt to cover his ears with his pillow, flipping over onto his side and dedicating his total effort to falling asleep.  

Of course, Reiner had long established that he didn’t like you, but he swore he could make you feel better than Eren could.

It was around midday when Reiner returned to their apartment after committing his morning to helping his long-time friend, Pieck, pack up the furniture at her studio in preparation to move. They were halfway finished with stowing away Pieck’s belongings before she realized they didn’t have enough boxes and apologized, asking Reiner if he’d be willing to return the following day to help her load up her remaining things. He obliged, guiltily happy that he was being dismissed early.

Reiner kicked off his shoes and ambled into the kitchen to set down the food he secured on his way home, but he paused momentarily to scrutinize the condition of the living room, discerning Eren’s obvious trace.

The TV was on, but it sat idly, blinking images of some prime time movie Reiner couldn’t recognize, and Eren’s drug paraphernalia was left scattered on the coffee table, his bong alongside his stray lighter and grinder.

“Eren!” Reiner had prompted him on several occasions, reminding Eren that just because he thought electricity was a necessary utility and should be free, didn’t mean it was, they still had to pay for it. He also requested that he put his bong away after he was done smoking since it wasn’t permitted in their building, but Eren seemed heedless to that demand too. “Eren!”

Reiner anticipated a response, but huffed when he received only silence. Leave it to his roommate to blight his good mood in record time. He mumbled inaudibly, swiping the remote off the table to turn the TV off, and then reluctantly bending down to tidy the space of Eren’s things.

“Hi, Sunshine. You’re up and about early.”

Reiner straightened himself out and turned around, unaware that you’d been over. He missed your approaching footsteps. Had you stayed the night? He didn’t hear anything from Eren’s room the previous evening which was unusual to say the least. Maybe you’d stopped by earlier that morning while he’d been out.

“Hey,” he replied meekly. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

Reiner’s eyes looked you over swiftly, slightly startled at the lack of clothing covering your bottom half. You were only wearing a loose shirt that stopped dangerously at your hips and a pair of lace undergarments, but naturally, you didn’t seem the least bit phased. You’d practically lived with them. When you weren’t in class or at your part-time job, you were at their apartment, leading Reiner to wonder if you forgot you had a place of your own. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “Sorry Eren left all of his shit out. I don’t know how I know the house rules and he doesn’t.”

Reiner snorted. “He knows them, he just doesn’t care.” His voice was casual although he walked hastily into the kitchen to avoid looking at you. He stored Eren’s bong in the vacant cupboard above the microwave before throwing his other tools into a miscellaneous drawer.

As if on cue, Eren wandered out of his room languidly, carelessly shrugging a jacket onto his unclad upper body. Reiner took that as a sign that his lunch would be best enjoyed in his room. He was already irked, and wasn’t in the headspace to deal with the current atmosphere.

“What’d you get?” you questioned, leaning over the counter with mirth. You paid little attention to the way Eren came up behind you, circling his arms around your waist and resting his chin in the curve of your shoulder. You looked more interested in the alluring smells wafting from the paper bag in Reiner’s hand.

Another thing he hated about Eren was his shameless PDA. It appeared he adored showing you off, letting everyone know that you were his, but God--how could anyone forget when it seemed he was incapable of keeping his hands off of you. Reiner himself recognized that you were a prize, from your lively eyes that were a marriage of subtle hues to the way your lips curled upwards when you grinned. He even noticed the curve of your breasts’ shape through your shirt. If Reiner had you, he’d want you all to himself.

He shook the thought out of his head.

“I just got something small on the way home.” He forced a smile. “If I’d known you were over I would have gotten you something too.”

“Why do you treat Y/N better than you treat me?” Eren asked, sounding only a little bit offended.

Reiner pretended to think before he responded. “Ah, maybe it’s because I don’t like you.”

You laughed at Reiner’s reply, and Eren only smiled, but Reiner detected something else behind his expression. Mischief.

“Do you like Y/N?”

Reiner creased his eyebrows together. “Of course.” He hadn’t read too much into the question. He did like you. You weren’t just easy on the eyes, but you were great company too. That was the only reason he didn’t mind lending their apartment to you as a second home, he enjoyed being around you.

You let out an exaggerated aww after he answered. “I like you too, Reiner.”

Reiner chuckled, shaking his head, but inside he was telling his heart to calm down. You didn’t mean it like that.

Eren hummed absentmindedly, swaying side to side slowly while you rocked along to his movement.

“Do you wanna fuck her?”

Reiner gripped the bag in his hand tightly, and his smile faltered in shock, reeling from the bombshell of Eren’s question. “What?” Did he hear him correctly?

You looked just as surprised, exclaiming your boyfriend’s name and craning your neck to look at him.

“I’m kidding,” he dismissed, but Reiner could tell he wasn’t from the way Eren’s eyes didn’t waver from him.

What Reiner didn’t know was that Eren had caught onto him. He’d known for a while, which was why he was particularly touchy with you around Reiner, showing you off, not caring whether you walked around their apartment scarcely dressed, it was because Eren enjoyed having something that someone else wanted. He saw the way his roommate acted around his girlfriend, reserved and quiet, more than he usually was, and he even noticed the way Reiner’s eyes dipped down to your chest in the moment because Eren was exceptional at paying attention to detail.

You must have detected how uncomfortable Reiner felt because you delivered a brief jab to Eren’s ribs with your elbow.

“Eren, that’s not fucking funny,” you chided. “Do I need to put you in time out?”

“It’s fine,” Reiner interrupted quickly. He didn’t want you defending him because you were oblivious. It only made the situation more embarrassing than it already was since, truthfully, the thought had crossed his mind more than once.

Eren reiterated his question, eyes narrowed at Reiner. “So do you?”

You sighed heavily and looked at Reiner apologetically. He could feel his face growing hot, and he prayed it wasn’t obvious he was as flushed as he felt. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Reiner released a humourless chuckle. “Grow up, Eren.” He slipped past the two of you, but he didn’t get far.

“I’m only asking because I’m feeling charitable. You wouldn’t mind, would you baby?”

Reiner could hear Eren pressing a series of ticklish kisses against your skin, causing you to laugh through your answer.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind if Reiner doesn’t mind.”

Reiner brought his teeth down hard on the tip of his tongue. He was surprised that Eren was so secure in his relationship that he would willingly allow another man to have his way with his girlfriend. He wasn’t sure if his suggestion was insane or ingenious, because Eren had taken control of the one thing that threatened any relationship: infidelity, something so unvirtuous wouldn’t stop him from loving you. You and Eren were so committed to each other that a simple fuck meant nothing.

Reiner hesitated, but figured an opportunity like this was rare. He had both Eren’s permission and yours, yet he still didn’t believe his sincerity until you were in Eren’s room, starting to strip out of your clothes.

His chestnut eyes drifted over to Eren, slouched lazily in the chair he casually pulled out from his desk. “You’re gonna watch?”

Eren lifted a thick eyebrow, resting his thumb under his chin with an index finger against his cheek, looking unimpressed by Reiner’s obvious reservations. “You think I’d let you fuck my girlfriend without me here?”

Reiner slid a tense hand over the back of his neck, rubbing away the uncomfortable heat that creeped up his back and diffused to the tips of his ears. He figured that was reasonable considering the circumstances, after all, he was only fucking you because Eren had allowed it.

There was nothing more intoxicating to Reiner than your bare form, scanty pink lace clinging to your hips the only thing preventing you from being completely naked in front of him. His gaze dipped from your simpering smile down to your collarbones and then down to your breasts, perfectly sculpted to your figure.

Reiner made no efforts to move despite his insatiable urge to grab you in his arms and make certain that you were left satisfied. He feared he’d look too eager to Eren who was observing from the sidelines, but you paid little attention to your audience of one as you sauntered towards Reiner, closer and closer, until your arms slid around his neck and you pressed your chest to his torso.

Reiner’s body was strung so tightly, he was afraid he might snap. It seemed you took notice of the way his muscles tensed once your delicate fingers ghosted over the nape of his neck because your suggestive expression waned, and instead, your eyebrows creased with sincere concern.

“You okay?”

He couldn’t respond, but to be fair, it was because his heart was hammering against his chest and he wasn’t sure how to make it stop. He looked over at Eren again, who, fortunately, didn’t seem to pay much attention to him. Instead, your boyfriend’s stare was fixed on your backside, likely admiring how luscious you looked from his perspective.

“I’m over here.” You laughed and pressed a gentle finger to Reiner’s chin, redirecting his focus back to you. “Just relax.”

He swallowed, chuckling to soothe his unease. “I’m trying.”

Reiner wasn’t sure why he felt so unassertive in your presence. He didn’t hold a record like Eren did, but he also wasn't abstinent by any means. This, though, felt different. He was dealing with several months of pent-up sexual frustration that could only be satisfied by you and no one else. He knew because he’d tried.

Reiner drew in a ragged breath as you leaned into him, breathing heavily through his mouth until you closed the space in between you two, then he continued breathing heavily through his nose. At first, he made no efforts to close his eyes, afraid that the imagery in front of him was a mirage inspired by his own imagination and would disappear if he so much as blinked. His lips were timid, body taut under your touch, but you seduced his mouth, reining him in until he melted into the kiss.

He pushed back against you with fervor and desperation, outlining the shape of your bottom lip with his tongue before nipping at the soft flesh. You released a quiet whimper, intensifying the lust swelling in the pit of his stomach, and Reiner forced his tongue past your teeth, claiming your mouth while his wandering hands settled audaciously against your ass.

Your hands slid over his shoulders and crafted biceps until they tugged hastily against the hem of his shirt, and Reiner immediately understood your cue, withdrawing his mouth from yours to give himself just enough time to slip out of it. He dipped down again to deliver another kiss, but he was deterred by the feeling of your palm against his chest.

“What? Is something wrong?” he questioned quickly, eyes darting back and forth between your hand and your face, worried that he’d done something to overstep your boundaries.

Instead of the troubled expression he expected, you looked rather intrigued. Perhaps impressed was the better word. Your curiosity was held by Reiner’s physique, a living work of art. Eager fingers traveled down the built ripples of his abdomen, chuckling once you felt his muscles flex under your touch.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathed. “Nice, Braun.”

A snicker emitted from the corner. This, miraculously, Eren allowed.

Reiner's mouth quirked upward in a subtle smile before he surrounded you with his arm, pulling you in for another kiss. He walked you backwards until you collapsed onto the mattress, and he fell on top of you, strong forearms holding up his weight. It was then that Reiner realized he allowed his lust to win in the war against himself.

He pulled away to recover his breath, winded pants fanning over your face. His surveying eyes searched yours before they lowered to your swollen lips. God, you were even more mesmerizing up close, heavy-lidded and studying him through a curtain of eyelashes. Maybe for once Reiner would admit he was jealous of Eren. He was fucking envious, bitter, and spiteful that you were his. He’d been a goddamn idiot to let things go this far, agreeing to Eren’s offer, because he knew one fuck wouldn’t be enough to fufill his need for you. He’d barely gotten a taste, and he could already promise that nothing would ever compare to this.

He found your throat and pressed a fleeting kiss to your pulse, moving further down until his lips met your collarbone. He nipped at the delicate skin, taking notice of the way your grip in his hair tightened. His eyebrows arched while he peered up at you, delighting in the way your head rolled back and forth against the duvet. He really wanted to suck at your skin, leaving dark bruises that decorated the path from your earlobe down to your breastbone, but he knew Eren would kill him.

Reiner dipped lower until his lips brushed lightly against your beaded nipple. You made a small sound of protest, but held his head closer, letting him know what you really wanted. His heart beat erratically against his ribcage as he curved a large hand around your right breast and suppressed a groan, but you released a breathy whimper.

He could feel the sound wreaking havoc in his brain. His balls were so damn tight, it would take barely any effort for him to cum, but he wanted to prolong your coupling as long as possible. He didn’t know if he’d ever get another chance like this.  

His thumb ran over the erect peaks of your breasts, captivated by the magic of watching your back arch and your body become aroused under his touch. He dipped a finger into his mouth, glazing it with his saliva before using it to flick back and forth at your nipple.

“Fuck, Reiner,” you mewled.

Reiner replaced his hand with his lips, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth. The tip of his tongue swirled around it, coating it generously with his spit, while you made no attempts to conceal your intense cries of pleasure.  

Eren released an entertained sigh, swiveling back and forth in his chair. “She whines like a bitch, doesn’t she?”

Shit. Reiner had almost forgotten he was there, but he still released a hungry grunt in agreement, sending vibrations over your chest. He tugged at your nipple with his teeth, releasing it, and then soothing the sting with the flat side of his tongue.

He trailed down your abdomen, pressing hard wet kisses and stopping to leave a quick lick to your navel. He grinned against your skin when you gripped the sheets and breathed his name again, this time quieter, as if you meant it only for his ears. He liked to think so.

Once he reached the waistband of your panties, he licked along the fabric, immobilizing your rolling hips with strong hands.

“Enough with the theatrics, Reiner. Just do it already,” Eren groaned, sounding irate.

Reiner assumed Eren’s groan was only to stress his impatience, but once he looked over to him, he realized he wasn’t just giving directives from the sidelines. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, and his hand was moving steadily against the noticeable tent in his sweatpants.

He was enjoying this just as much as Reiner was, getting off to the sight of his girlfriend under another man, his roommate nonetheless.

Reiner suddenly felt strange. What the hell was he doing providing entertainment for Eren?

“Reiner,” your needy voice pulled him out of his reflection. His attention drifted back to you, watching while you propped yourself up on your elbows and slid your unsteady hands over your chest to tweak your own nipples, as if you were trying to hold yourself over.

He wished you hadn’t looked so tempting, even with your disheveled hair and sweaty skin, your vulnerable eyes fixated on him, and he was powerless.

Reiner hooked his fingers around your underwear, kissing a trail down the inside of your thighs as he pulled your panties down to your ankles before slipping them off and letting them pool on the floor.

“Spread wide baby, let him see that pretty pussy,” Eren stirred, cock now thrust out the top of his grey sweats and his swollen tip glistening with precum. His hand was wrapped firmly around his stiff length, moving slow while his breathing quickened.

For once, Reiner agreed with him, and he pressed his fingers into your thighs to aid you in parting your legs. Your pussy was slick with your own arousal, squelching as you tightened around nothing. You were even prettier than he’d imagined.

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed, extending two fingers to part your folds. Was he still sure he wasn’t dreaming?

He wrapped his built arms around your legs, pulled you closer, and lowered his head. He fixed his lips to your swollen clit, allowing his tongue to lap and circle around the tender bud every few seconds.

“Oh my god,” you cried, writhing against the sheets.

If he hadn’t secured your legs in his grip, he was certain you would have smothered him between your thighs out of reflex. He could detect the way you fought against his hold, but he far overpowered you in strength.

When he plunged his tongue inside you without notice, that was nearly enough to send you over the edge. You pulled on the sheets with a frenzied grip, producing a shrill cry your neighbors had certainly heard. There was no doubt about it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you murmured, chest expanding and falling with labored breaths.

Reiner wanted to spend a few more generous minutes tasting you, he couldn’t get enough, but he also wasn’t sure how much longer he would last. His cock was hot and hard in his pants, and he needed to feel you around him. Even if Eren wouldn’t let him cum inside of you, he needed to experience at least that much.

He rose to his feet, working quickly against his pants’ zipper while trying not to tease himself by looking at you. He was worried the mere sight of you on the bed, spread and ready for him would be enough to bring him to a climax, but he’d made the mistake of looking at you anyways, hand between your legs, delicate fingers rubbing at your clit while you stared up at him.

Fucking hell. Kill me. Reiner thought. Fuck. He felt the throbbing heat of his cock, and he wished you wouldn’t look at him like that. He really wished you wouldn’t look at him like that.

“Look at her, so desperate to be filled. It’s almost pathetic,” Eren laughed, but it was clear he was feeling your effect too. He lolled his head forward, long brown hair spilling over his shoulders and obscuring his face while his palm worked fast against his cock.

Shut up, Reiner thought. His head was growing hazy, and he couldn’t think. He needed to be inside you, and he couldn’t wait a second longer.

Reiner let himself free while his pants and underwear hung low around his knees. He couldn’t even find time to delight in the way your face melted into bliss once you laid eyes on his thick cock, leaking precum in sinful amounts because all he could think about was his ache. He leaned over you, positioning himself at your entrance.

He’d been waiting for this for so goddamn long.

Reiner exhaled when you said his name again, hips undulating against his cock and wet folds stroking his tip. He watched as he pushed himself into you, filling you to the hilt, and once he was inside he hung his head forward, eyes shut tightly in a painful sort of ecstasy.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Reiner grunted breathlessly.

He groaned, pinning your hips down with his once you attempted to fuck yourself onto his cock.

“Stop moving,” he pleaded. “Jesus christ--please don’t move.” He stayed still for a moment, waiting until his sensitivity subsided before he started rocking his hips against you slowly.

Reiner couldn’t dedicate his focus to anything other than the feeling of your slick walls clenching around his cock every time he pulled out, and the way he stretched you out every time he thrusted back in. He wondered if you could feel the depth of his desire.

“Harder,” you whispered once, and then begged louder. “Reiner please, fuck me harder.”

At first, Reiner was worried. He wanted to be gentle, he wanted to savor you, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt you, but your request had him picking up the pace, ramming into you until the familiar slapping sound of sweaty skin filled the room.  

You unraveled and became completely undone, letting out loud moans every time he drove his cock into you. Reiner thought the sound was incredibly euphonic as it fell upon his ears. You were like this because of him.

“How’s this?” His voice was husky and deep beside your ear.

Reiner was pleased by your lack of response. You could only nod, overwhelmed by the dual sensation brought on by him and the feeling of your quick fingers against your clit. You secured an arm around his neck again and wrapped your legs around his torso, clinging to him like he was all you needed. He wished that was how you really felt.

“Close…,” you murmured, and Reiner deduced you were warning him that you were near your orgasm. He could tell by the way your walls began to spasm.

Reiner felt the small of his back tighten, and he knew he was close too. He was torn between his release and holding himself back, not ready for this to end just yet, but his body betrayed him and he felt his cock twitch inside you.

Luckily, you reached your climax first, and Reiner watched in awe as your body seized underneath him, breasts bobbing with every jolt while you worked your clit into overstimulation. It wasn’t long after your orgasm that he made his last rueful thrusts. He quickly pulled out and clasped himself in the curve of his hand. He pumped his length until he released in quick spurts onto your stomach, covering you in his hot seed, and he kept pumping until he made sure he emptied himself of every drop.

His eyes quickly darted over to Eren, not to be odd or anything, but again, he had forgotten he was there. It seemed Eren had already satisfied himself. The creamy, white liquid decorating the bare skin of his abdomen and dribbling down his loose fist was evidence of that. Now that he had appeased his urges, he seemed disinterested as he reached over his desk and plucked a few tissues to clean himself up.

Reiner collapsed beside you, listening to the loud thudding of his heart as it delivered a few ecstatic beats while he caught his breath and began to calm down. He stared at the pivoting fan blades, and then his eyes dropped down to you lying next to him, sweaty and fucked out.

You were laying there with him, and goddammit he wanted to reach his arms out and wrap them around you, pulling you close so he could hold you and feel your heartbeat against his chest. He’d press kisses to your salty forehead, and then tell you how much he loved you. He wanted to stay like this.

Reiner's ideal vision dissolved once Eren stopped at the edge of the bed and extended his hand for you to grab.

“You wanna join me for a shower, baby?” Eren asked.

Of course, you took it, allowing him to support you until you were sitting up.

You released an exhausted laugh. “Yes, please.” You then turned to Reiner and arched your eyebrow in surprise. “By the way, not bad, Braun.”

Reiner gave you a small smile in return, but said nothing as he watched you cover your breasts with your arm and let Eren hoist you off the bed. You two slid past him and headed out of the room, but not without Eren looking back over his shoulder, shooting Reiner a shit-eating grin, as though reminding him who you’d always belong to.

[book-of-charlie]

Zukka Goes to a Ball

Hi, this was supposed to be a fluffy oneshot, but then i wrote out the bullet points, and if I write it later I will add a link to it here but for now it’s gonna be a bullet point fic lads, enjoy

(also I wrote this at like 2 am so I’m sorry for the inevitable spelling mistakes and slight rambling)

~~

AU where Iroh took the throne after Lu Ten died, Ozai was cast out for disrespecting Azulon, Zuko and Azula and Ursa had the option to stay and so they did and Zuko and Azula (especially) are better for it, and so Iroh did all the good shit, opening up trade routes and rebuilding the nations and removing the laws that outlawed homosexuality

Aang is still found when Katara and Sokka are out fishing, but the village is being rebuilt, the men are home, and with the Northern Water Tribe’s help, the two tribes have pooled their resources and customs together to preserve the customs they have/had, but also listened to people like Yue, Sokka, and Katara to see what should be done/changed to help make the future better

The customs mean that Sokka and Katara now have the labels of Prince and Princess of the Southern Water Tribe, just like Yue 

But the customs of arranged marriage and waterbending teachings are looser, so Katara is taught by Pakku, who marries their grandmother and they grow up with him as a grandfather

Kya is still dead, the last raid happened right before Iroh took the throne

Aang and Katara spent some time together, fell in love, have been together ever since

Yue and Sokka were engaged (and in love), until the moon thing happened; it happened bc Zhao was a follower of Ozai, and Ozai has gained a group of supporters who prefer Sozin’s, Azulon’s, and Ozai’s ways to that of Iroh’s - and Zhao snuck into the Northern Water Tribe and killed the fish, and Yue gave her life to save it

Sokka is devastated, and the Water Tribes are ready for war, but still hope for peace after so much devastation

Iroh, Hakoda, and Arnook meet to try and solve these things without war, and Iroh explains what happened in the past with Azulon and Ozai, and why the Northern Water Tribe was attacked

The three leaders decide that an all nations ball should be held, and that a union between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes would be the best way to smooth things over, and to show solidarity

So its decided that either Katara or Sokka must marry Zuko or Azula

Katara is in love with Aang, and so Sokka knows he must be the one to marry into the Fire Nation Royal Family

He talks about this to katara, who thanks him like hell for not separating her and Aang (not that she expected him to, but it’s a relief)

Aang finds out and thanks him too, and tells him that as the Avatar and as the only representative for the Air Nation, hes been invited and that bc sokka is his family too he will smite Azula or Zuko if they hurt him

He knows Aang wouldn't hurt a fly (seriously, how is he a vegetarian in the freaking South Pole), but he appreciates that Aang and Katara will be there to watch his back

he’s not too upset about being the one to marry bc he knows his sister will be happy, but honestly hates that this is happening at all bc Yue is dead

katara and aang distract him from these thoughts by asking him wether he think’s he’ll be drawn to the prince or the princess (bc sokka is bi and both have known that for ages)

he’s not sure, say’s he’ll see

In the fire nation, Iroh talks to Ursa, and they both talk to Zuko and Azula

They dont know about Aang and Katara, so Zuko and Azula talk about both Katara and Sokka

Azula is still a bit manipulative, but is working on it, and Zuko trusts her enough to tell her that he hopes that he doesn’t have to marry the Southern Princess

Azula asks why, and Zuko admits he likes boys

Azula is silent for a bit, and then says that she hopes she wont have to marry either one of them because she, Ty Lee, and Mai are dating

Zuko swears that she won’t have to stop dating them, that he will be the one to marry

azula and ty lee and mai are v grateful and vow to back him up and kick water tribe ass if whichever one he marries hurts him

in other news, Suki is at the ball as Earth King Kuei’s plus one/bodyguard, and she and azula hit it off so Suki ends up eventually dating Mai and ty Lee and azula as well

back to our regularly scheduled program

Before the ball, Sokka is getting ready with Chief Arnook (Hakoda is getting ready with Bato bc they dating bc I said so)

Sokka says “i loved her, you know. And I will do this for our tribes, and even if I do learn to love whichever of them I’m to marry, I’m not sure I can ever stop loving her, and I want you to know that I did.”

And hes awkward about it, but Arnook hugs him, and says “She loved you so much, Sokka. And she would want you to be happy, as I’m sure you know.” Then he pulls back.

“I know we are technically two separate tribes, but I want you to know, I still consider you a son.” Sokka cries a little, and nods, happy that he has the blessing of the man who was supposed to be his father in law. Sokkas just happy that he can still have that, and smiles at Yue as she rises to look over the ball

Shes smiling cause she knows whats about to happen, and does indeed wish sokka to be happy as he can and will be

Hakoda and Bato come to wish Sokka good luck, bc Sokka and Katara and Aang already talked to them about how Katara and Aang intend to stay together, 

Hakoda mentions how proud he is and sokka has to wipe a few tears from his eyes

Iroh and Ursa know the same thing about Zuko and Azula and Mai and Ty Lee, and both wish Zuko luck as well

Iroh makes sure to say how proud he is, and that Zuko is an honorable man

zuko def isnt crying, nope, but he wipes his tears away and carries on 

So Azula and Katara are both planning on pushing Zuko and Sokka towards each other, but honestly there doesnt need to be any pushing

The ball attendees, excluding the royals of each Nation (and the Avatar), get to the ballroom, and the doors open for the royals (who are all announced by name), and of course everyone knows what the ball is for (security is quadrupled, from all the nations)

First comes Fire Lord Iroh, followed by Lady Ursa

Next comes in King Kuei

Next is Chief Arnook

Then Hakoda and Bato

Then Zuko and Azula

Then Aang

And lastly, Sokka and Katara

Zuko and Azula are standing by Iroh’s throne, and as the water tribe royals walk in, Sokka and Zuko make eye contact

And both are so smitten with each other

And at some point, it is asked that at least one of the young fire nation and water tribe royals dance together

And Zuko and Sokka look at each other and grasp each others hands and dance

its a slow waltz

And they just look so right together, the two princes

And they go out on the balcony and talk

Zuko says he wants to get to know sokka better, and sokka agrees

But is hesitant still, and asks zuko if he knows why the ball was happening

Zuko kinda shrugs, and says “there was an attack on the NWT, by firebenders loyal to my father, whos a huge asshole and im glad hes not on the throne. Uncle wanted to prove that hes not his brother, which leads to me having to marry, well, you.” 

Sokka nods. “So they didn't tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Zuko asked, confused

“The attack on the NWT. The mission was to kill the moon spirit.” Zuko gasped, quickly checking that the full moon was in the sky, which it was. He knew what it meant, what would have happened to the waterbenders.

“They didn’t succeed, though, clearly.” He says, trying for comforting. Sokka laughed, harshly, without humor.

“They did, actually. Zhao - former Commander, now Admiral of Ozai’s followers - he killed it. My fiance, Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe, had a little bit of life from the moon spirit in her. To save us all, she decided to, according to her father, give it back.”

Sokka looks over to Zuko, who’s horrified

“So they’re expecting you to marry me? That’s kinda fucked up, especially if you loved her as much as it sounds like you do.”

Sokka nods. “Look, Zuko, I like you. I can tell already, I do. But,” and here he looks up at the moon, at Yue, “I will never stop loving her.” Looks back to Zuko “She will always have a part of me, and I need you to understand that if we’re supposed to marry each other.”

Zuko nods, understanding entirely. “It wasnt fair, and I would never ask you to stop loving her. I also can tell that I like you too, Sokka, and I’m willing to follow your lead on this. You clearly did love her, and I completely understand that you will continue to. I’m not…” Zuko takes a deep breath.

“I’m not going to ask you to betray your customs, your family, or any past love. I don’t want you to stop loving her, especially not when you clearly love her so much. And I’m willing to wait as long as you need and/or want to.”

Zuko’s nearly out of breath and hes being so honest it hurts, and Sokka’s crying a little so Zuko freaks out and thinks he said the wrong thing but Sokka is quick to reassure him that he said and did everything right

And they go back inside, together, and everyone looks at them, clearly expecting some kind of announcement here

And Sokka steps up, no longer teary eyed (mostly) and says: “I, Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, with blessings from both Water Tribes, ask for permission from the Fire Lord to court Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.”

Hakoda, Bato, Arnook, Ursa, and Iroh are all by Iroh’s throne, and all of them step up. The guests had already parted the way. Katara and Azula are standing slightly to the side, but still nearby.  

“I, Fire Lord Iroh, give permission to Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe to court Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, but only if Prince Zuko agrees to it.”

Both sokka and Zuko sigh in relief, smile, and nod at each other in agreement. Its Zuko’s turn to step up.

“I, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, agree to be courted by Prince Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, with blessings from Fire Lord Iroh. I ask for permission from the Chiefs of both the Northern and Southern Water Tribes to court Prince Sokka.”

Hakoda and Arnook step up. Arnook speaks first. “I give my permission for Prince Sokka to be courted by Prince Zuko.” Hakoda is next. “I also give my permission for Prince Sokka to be courted by Prince Zuko, as long as Prince Sokka agrees to it.” 

Sokka smiles at Zuko, and they hold hands to show solidarity between nations. And maybe bc they wanted to

Their sisters and (partners of said sisters) come up to them, smiling

Katara and Aang hug sokka, saying theyre proud of him, but also still thanking him

Azula punches sokka and says to be good to her big brother or else

Sokka says yes ma’am

Katara threatens Zuko, who also responds with a yes ma’am

Azula and Katara shake hands, which scares the ever living fuck out of everyone except Toph who laughs

Shes here bc shes a fuckin beifong 

Aang trained with Pakku already (and katara of course) but has been looking for an earthbending teacher, and so convinces Toph to teach him bc bumi gave him the same advice here as in the show

Her parents aren’t entirely convinced, but Iroh offers to have the Beifongs stay (for business reasons, of course, winking at Aang and Toph), and that Toph will be safe here and can make new friends and future alliances between nations, which convinces them enough to agree to stay for a while

Sokka and Katara had to stay anyway of course, and Aang stays with Katara (and hey, wouldnt it be good if he could learn earth and firebending while at the palace), but everyone else went home

Shenanigans ensue

Zuko and sokka get closer as friends

And still really, really, really like each other

And of course theyre courting each other but soon they start like, dating dating

And fall in love

And live happily

Maybe Ozai tries to ruin their happiness but Toph punches him in his stupid face so its all good

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

[futurewriter2000]

My Dear Audience

I know you are usually the victims of my emotional outbursts I post on my blog, probably didn't read the fine print when you pressed the follow button. You can always skip these posts/rants I make that's why I always put the "keep reading" function so that yall don't have to scroll for 10 minutes straight. But sometimes I write things down to get clearer in certain situations I'm in. It helps me figure it out. It's like my subconscious speaking to my conscious dumbass. Idk, maybe it will help you too or not. You can always write me your opinions because I love to see other opinions and perspective on certain themes I put in here. So let's get into it!

The reason I'm writing this is because it's faster to write in my journal and I don't trust my journal at all. Like I don't know why I'm hiding certain things from my journal. Maybe because my sister and mother used to read them when I was a kid. But yeah, sometimes I can be a little pathetic. But bear with me. We are all different and how we process emotions is different to all of us.

My sister told me something about me missing somebody, who I had dealt with in the recent past. And I told her that I don't and that I moved on from him already.

I firmly do believe I had moved on from him but something made me wonder if I really did when I was trying so hard to explain to her how I did move on.

You see, I did have a lot of friend break ups last year and from seven of them, I think that two hurt me the most. One was a guy (shocker) that I used to be so close with for 3 years but had known him for about 5 years. And the other was my best friend of 3 years or something as well. She was literally amazing to the point when she started to... get a bit wild, which I don't mind but she started to become more wild and more rude, arrogant and ignorant as well.

I was literally so attached to both but there came a moment, a click all of a sudden where I just knew that I don't want to be their friend anymore because they constantly hurt me. The worst part was that I didn't understand the why, I just knew that they were both toxic for me and that I didn't like what said or did to me. It took me long, sobbing and self-blaming nights to move on from both of them. It took me about 8 months to get over the guy and almost a year (around 11 months) to get over her. It's not that I was in love with them- I just love people way too much. I would give the world for my friends.

When I moved on from the guy (1), I met another guy (2) which reminded so much of guy 1. Literally, they were both tall, light eyes, dirty blonde/brown hair, both Aries (like a day apart)... but their character was different. Nevertheless, the similarities were wow but it was their character that made them so different. I admired guy 2 character more than anybody's character (lies... there are a few people) in my life. There is just something so interesting in people who think so differently or are different in general. He just had this magnetic pull. When we met, there was something so similar in him that I couldn't put my finger on and we just clicked in one day. The first day we met, we clicked. First 10 minutes we met, click. There was not even the introduction of our names, we just vibed so much that we let go of the unimportant details.

You can expect I fell in love with the guy. He bought me choclates and energies and opened the doors for me, and he always came to get me for lunch... the guy was literally treating me so good and my hopeless romantic self fell in love. He was the first ever guy that I considered to date. There were previous crushes, yes but he was just "the one". Don't judge. I am way too romantic.

He was the one until he started to give me hot and cold game. But we still vibed. Then he turned out to be gay, which to my surprise I was so relieved. I don't know why I was so relieved but I just was. It made me realise that I really didn't want to be with him in a romantic way, because that was so much pressure and work and I can finally relax. Bc when I can flirt with everything and everybody until I start to catch feelings. Then I turn into a tree. Makes no sense but you know what I mean. I just didn't know how to act.

He left. No goodbye, no nothing. I cried like a baby but it was easy for me to move on because we knew each other for a month and he seemed to be that person, who enters your life for a certain reason. I thought it was to show me that guy 1 was literally an ass and that I can be treated better by friends than I believed.

Okay, I moved on.

Until that bitch returned one day and made me forget to walk. I don't know what he did to me. I knew he was gay, I knew that there will nothing become of us ever. I was okay with that but he still made me feel butterflies. But so did the guy 1 but the guy 1 made me feel more of a sad anxiety butterflies and the guy 2 was happy anxiety butterflies.

We vibed like nothing ever happened. We went out on drinks, walks, I even went to his house, he met one of my friends, we made plans... until a day came where all of a sudden he started to act distant.

I was like, okay... maybe he just needs a time alone. If anything guy 1 has thought me was that I should never drill into people or pressure them to open up to me.

God, I knew something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes and on his face and I just knew it. But you know when people say hurt people hurt people.... oh did he just say the right words to prove that.

We had a conversation and I said something among the lines: "Yeah but at least we're such good friends now."

"Are we?" he said and when I tell you I felt my heart sink into the depth of whatever pit there is. It got cut into pieces and stomped over and shit like that but my defense mechanism is laughter and smiling.

"You're telling me we're not friends?" I asked him, my dumbass laughing.

"Then I must be a really bad friend."

AND MY DUMBASS WENT. "Noooo! You have your good qualities."

And so on and so on.

I'm not playing the victim in this situation. I was not the victim here. He was just... hurting.... he just.... really didn't have to hurt me too and sometimes I wished I went away and didn't start any conversation.

But he was so new and so interesting and I had never clicked so well with anybody.

Don't roll your eyes when I tell you that I believe in soulmates. I do. I believe I had 4 soulmates in my life and it's odd to describe it but there is this... feeling you have when you're with them that just make sense.

My soulmate definitely was not guy 1. But there was this crush I had in middle school that I had never exchanged words with but like I said... there's a feeling and fleeting moments where you just know.

So him... and my best friend of 2 years before the other best friend of 3 years.

And him. The guy 2.

There's a certain click you have with your soulmate. And I had many friends, many people and crushes and loves but none of them are those four soulmates.

I believe guy 2 is... but I also believe that he is that exact karma of what I did with guy 1. I was just not in love with guy 1. I think he was in love with me but I just wasn't in love with him. Yes, we are friends and good but I am not in love with you. (he wrote me a song that I was so oblivious that it was meant for me. I realised that a year later and yes I am face-palming myself right now). I just left him like that.

Just like guy 2 left me like that. I was in love with him but he couldn't be in love with me. And he left me... just like that.... just like I left guy 1. The fucking irony in that.

Months past, guy 2 disappoints me constantly until the point where he disappointed me so hard that I just couldn't go back to him. I never hated him... I never hate anybody but I do learn and I let go.

It was hard for me to let go because the pain felt just as horrible as it did with guy 1... just worse... so much worse. The memories me and guy 2 have are the memories that can be labeled as unforgettable ones. When I tell you that it was like a movie when we were hanging out together. Like a bloody movie... the way we met, the way we clicked, the love/rejection scene, him leaving, him coming back, us not having normal conversations (I had never had conversations as I did with him with anybody in this entire world. The conversations with him were... the ones that you don't forget easily.), the roadtrips we took, the awkward moments, the sharing deepest darkest secrets moments, the fun moments, the way we were so comfortable with each other that it felt like I had known him for years, not months.

Like a movie. A real, indie like movie. Him in bright/white clothes, me in dark/black clothes. Him the logical, me the dreamy. Me the romantic and innocent, him the not so romantic and definitely not so innocent.... like ying and yang... up until the ying didn't want the yang anymore.

I don't know what happened, really... he just didn't want to hang out with me anymore. His whole behaviour towards me changed.

Hurt people hurt people.

I cried... for months... shocker... but then there came a day when I just woke up and I was just ok.

You know there were times I would cry because of the memories. Because I never felt like this with anybody. Oh no... you know when you meet someone who is special in your life. You know you're in it deep from the moment you meet them. Tik Tok tarot readings really did not help. He just randomly popped in my mind. I couldn't look at pistachios... I couldn't drive by the gas station anymore, I even quit my job (but that was mostly for me), I couldn't go to the store without thinking of the time we went to the store. Still, every bus I see I wish I could see him in it.

But then I asked myself. What would I do if I did see him? I mean, the last time he disappointed me so hard that I don't think I could even look at him. I wouldn't want to give him his birthday gift because this shit is long passed. Once exciting to give it, now dreading it. Once I wanted to tell him everything... now I don't want a single thing to share with him because that creates another memory I would only cry over. The fact was.... so much time had passed that all the nostalgia, the energy, the excitement... it all just disappeared because I stopped giving it. I promised myself no more. And yes I wanted to just text him and call him to give him a peace of my mind but no. I held myself back and I rather cried and felt sorry for myself that ever giving my time and energy to someone who just... isn't worth it....

He disappointed me so much to the point I had to realise that when I think of him as someone who has broadened my perspective on the world, taught me certain things and gave me such great memories to look back on... for me he was a soulmate but for him I was just that one person, he worked with. Like he said... I wasn't a friend... though I don't know why he made plans with me... maybe to fill me with empty promises like most people do but I accept that.

I was done wasting time on mourning.

One thing I didn't realise about moving on from people was that you can still wish for them to come back or wish for things to be different and miss the hell out of them. Don't you think that just because I moved on from guy 1 and that best friend that I didn't think of reaching out to them. I did... to every last one of them but that will bring me nowhere. I just don't know where they would lead me... because I changed, yes but that doesn't mean they did.

I still wish them the best... I do look back on them with fond memories. Of course, I don't think the two can even come close to the guy 2. He is one of a kind but there are such wonderful people out in the world and guy 2 has thought me that I can be treated better than some people treated me.

Plus he was a good muse for the emotional works I had written and drew.

So I really did move on... by finally accepting the fact that it won't be like a movie and that not all people are here to change your life and stay in it. Maybe they just change it and leave you to grow further on.

All of them thought me so much but I do swear that the last one had really put an impact in my life. Made it better, no matter the hurt he caused. Most of it was because I let it happen. I let him take the wheel for a while but now I'm driving again and he's left the bus.

[shidoukanae]

YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise​

Favorite series:

My favorite series based on what I watched and enjoyed would have to be Arc-V!!! It's honestly the series that got me to adore YGO when previously I'd seen YGO as, and I chilidishly quote, "uncool". Everything about Arc-V is pretty much wonderful: Yuya's presence as a "everyone MUST be happy" kind of character in a plot that discusses themes of war, revenge, and despair is absolutely refreshing (especially when Yuya's ideals of happiness are stripped from him and made a mockery of by, *coughs* one of my favorite characters in the franchise *coughs*). 

I love how the four Yuu boys are a wonderful combination of "protagonists" (/anatagonists) and how they each play off of each other's weaknesses and strengths, often acting as mirrors to each other in their individual dimensions while having amazing interactions (Yugo and Yuri, anyone? Yuri and Yuya?).

I admire how the endgame plot is a perversion of Yuya's ideals: he gets what he wants, showering happiness upon all, but that "happiness" is corrupted into the notion of entertainment. While Yuya seeks to provide people with smiles and laughter, to give them hope to work together through tough times and to stay strong in the face of adversity, his "counterparts" in the endgame are really good at acting as Yuya's mirror: showing that his style of performing can also be used to appease the bloodthirst of one's own self and that happiness can be corrupted into self-deserving power.

...Hard to put that into exact words without spoiling a lot of things but, gosh, let's just say that Yuri and ____ are the perfect mirrors to Yuya in terms of what his entertainment dueling style is meant to be.

The plot over all is pretty good! I won't lie and say it stands strong all the way throughout the story but the first half is amazing and there are some pretty strong episodes in the second half (Yugo and Rin, the parasite episodes in general, Yuri Yuri YURI). I can definitely say that the humor is there, the characters are amazing (if nothing else, watch for the Yuu Boys, the Bracelet Gals, and Shun versus Sora!!) and having come into the show around episode 104, I was pleasantly surprised by the trip Arc-V brought me and how it played with its protagonist, giving him hope, kicking him down, and toying with his mind - just like the way a warzone might to any idealistic individual.

In terms of other series, I like VRAINS but only up to like episode 19 (or the end of the Data Bank arc). It had potential and I kept hoping it would get better but the plot was constantly floundering, there are plot holes abundant (sewer monsters, ugh), character development is inconsistent not to mention very shallow, VRAINS has some of the best side characters but they're kicked to the curb by a bland protagonist and a villain that could've been so much cooler but they made him a sympathetic mess.

...I have a lot of gripes with VRAINS but, if it were to ever be rewritten with clear goalposts and plot twists in mind (not to mention development on ideas like Charisma Duelists because at the end of the show I still have not a fucking clue what a Charisma Duelists is or was) I would say it has potential to become my favorite series but Arc-V clearly beats it for me in every category lmao.

Zexal’s also really good too!!! I don’t get all the hate behind it because it’s actually really interesting and engaging (also IV’s definition of fanservice is literally the only type of fanservice I will ever accept) and I think I’ve even cried a couple of times during the course of the plot which is like,,, shocking considering it’s not a show I thought I’d cry over (I cried in Arc-V too but goddamn does tiny Yuya just want to make you tear up lmao). This show is really good emotionally and it’s literally so stupid how Kaito carries a lot of the early and middle game of the show yet most of the meat of the plot doesn’t begin to unravel until the second season.

Also, if you ever want to watch a show of 100+ episodes that is so masterfully written that there is foreshadowing for stuff in like episode 130+ on EPISODE ONE, please watch this. Literally there are so many hints of what is going to happen in the future in the early episodes and you won’t really be able to tell what those hints are until you’ve finished the show but goddamn when you go back and rewatch things it does indeed feel amazing how much foreshadowing they threaded into the show without you ever knowing...(please don’t search for spoilers if you intend to watch this. I went into the show knowing some spoilers tho not all and, while I was still pleased by what I watched, I honestly can agree the show is A Lot Better without knowing ANYTHING)

Favorite Protagonist: Yuya. For sure, out of all the series, Yuya. 

He’s a refreshing protagonist, especially considering he shines in a world of war and despair. He’s also someone who you empathize with right at the start and want to hope in, especially since he is the “happiness” in a word of “madness” and “sorrow”. He’s not someone out to save the world (not really, anyways), but his actions touch on the lives of others anyways, giving people in a hope in a world that is otherwise cruel and heartless. Also, it really helps that he’s able to pull you into his world of “egaos”, making you believe in him and root for him despite how cheesy his ideals may or may not sound.

Also love how, despite being the centerpiece of “happiness”, Yuya isn’t allowed to always be happy :> Not spoiling plot related things but if you like protagonists going off the rails insane at times, Yuya’s definitely a fun protagonist for that!!!

Favorite Rival:

Kaito Tenjou!!! Literally the best rival in the series that I’ve seen. Everything about him is literally perfect ngl. From the way he’s chillingly introduced, with the spine-tingling whistles and cruel, almost merciless nature, to the way he slowly becomes sympathetic while also remaining a terrifying presence whenever he appears...I love him????

Favorite BFF:

Does Shoichi count? Because like...he’s Yusaku’s closest friend and ally in the series and I generally don’t pay attention to the other BFF’s in the other series (or at least, the ones I can recall bc I know in Zexal that Yuma has a whole group of friends lmao).

But I like Shoichi!! He cares about Yusaku a lot, is pretty damn cool as a sidekick hacker, his sideplot with his brother was actually honestly endearing and I loved the mystery about him. His early-game jokes w/ Ai to tease Yusaku were also a good laugh.

Favorite GFF: 

Not a girl friend forever for the main protagonist (although she like...lowkey confessed to him...though that plot really never went anywhere so I still don’t know what the fuck THAT was about) but,,, Ema Bessho,,

If y’all knew me back in my peak YGO days when VRAINS was airing,,, this gal was and STILL is my favorite girl of the YGO series. Even though she was pretty much done dirty imo I still love her (even despite considering she’s been made a damsel-in-distress at least three times, she’s only ever won one duel on-screen despite being supposedly good at dueling, ngl they could’ve done so much more with her but tbh she’s mostly just an asset to solve problems at whim and barely gets character development/does nothing but watch and spectate stuff late-game).

Even though she’s like...the unfortunate side character who’s probably meant to be more fanservice than interesting, in the first 19 episodes (and even the Revolver vs. her fight as well as the one time she meets Aoi IRL early-game) made her out to be a lot cooler and complex than she ended up being. I mean,,, a hacker gal who’s self-serving, cynical, and cold-hearted taking on the tasks of her (potentially ex) boyfriend while being really nice to his sister to the point she baffles even herself,,, we could’ve had a really unique and cool character to play around with here but instead we got...cool-ass character with potential to be something more reduced to a spectator with nothing better to do than idolize the main protagonist and have a plot with her brother that honestly detracted from her character more than it added to it imo.

Also Ema could’ve been a female Yuri but,,, nope,,, they decided she was better as a background piece instead TwT

Favorite Villain: Yuri.

Literally Yuri.

I could choose the leather jacket w/ fluff boi in a certain series because hot damn was that guy convincing AF that he wasn’t an evil psychopath (and even while knowing that he was, I still got fooled into thinking he was a good guy somehow omg) however,,, I’ve always held a love for Yuri and the way he’s been portrayed.

Despite ALWAYS being the bad guy, the show has always made this purple fucker into the most entertaining character on-screen. He even beats Yuya sometimes in terms of how entertaining he is - that’s literally how good he is,,

Also his facial expressions are amazing, he’s a VERY VALID threat to the main cast (and his creeper levels are not only off the charts but literally called out by the main female protagonist herself lmao), and he acts as the perfect foil to Yuya, battling not to entertain others but to entertain himself.

Also, he likes killing people.

No this is not a joke.

He literally likes killing people. And is pretty sadistic about it, too.

(^^^^ for those who don’t get the joke, “Fusion” is pronounced “Yuugo” which sounds similar to “Yugo” which is what,,, Yuri is making fun of,,, more context is needed of course but this is a Great Running Gag)

Favorite card:

I don’t know if it actually exists as an actual card but...that crystal dragon from the YGO movie with the glass pyramid. Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon...it’s really pretty...I love it...

Favorite Episode:

I’m...too lazy to search for names of these episodes but I can give brief summaries of them,,, because I can’t choose,,,

Arc-V: Shun vs. Sora (ALL episodes). Hot damn if you have never watched YGO but want to try and see for yourself why people like it: WATCH THESE EPISODES. I can’t explain how amazing these episodes are and, while I admit jumping straight into them might have you missing out on some important context (such as who Shun is or why Sora’s battle tactics lead to revelation) it’s honestly an amazing fight regardless. The battle starts off plain enough - there’s obvious tension, it seems like a typical fight of a battle royale, etc. - my god does the battle ramp up in emotional tension and promptly kick you in the gut with not only how blindsided you’ve been, but it also showcases just how cruel these “entertainment duels” can really get.

Any episode with Yuri. Literally any episode he’s in. 

I think this is like...episode 8 of VRAINS...but whenever it is that Akira hires Ema to find the reason why Aoi just...straight up got knocked into a coma. Literally this is my favorite episode when it comes to Ema. The way she makes fun of Akira even while aware of his situation,,, her cruel selfishness and desire for money bubbling to the surface, the way she confesses how she can’t be trusted willingly and still asks Akira why he’s hiring her,,, god I love this episode in terms of what Ema could’ve always been.

Episode 13 (/14?) of Zexal!!! This is the episode Kaito appears and when the show REALLY picks up. Kaito is a fun bastard of a rival and tbh I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting chills of him walking in, debris frozen in time all around him, as he approaches his victim, whistling an eerie children’s tune as he gets ready to close in for the kill,,,,

Favorite Deck to Use:

I don’t...really play the game itself but...I have used a couple of decks and I guess you can say I really love Raid Raptors??? First of all, those warbirds make really fun sounds I love ‘em in the anime but they’re also just fun to use in general (even tho I used a,,, very basic deck for them,,, I love them still).

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum or Link:

XYZ bc it’s really the only summoning method I’m used to lol :P. Also XYZ loyalist I guess???? 

Years in fandom: roughly five to six years iirc? I mean, I was a fan of the early day YGO and watched it as a kid but not active enough to be in the fandom for it lmao. Also not in the fandom atm because Sevens lost my attention (it’s a good show!!! I’m just unfortunately more a fan of things with serious plots and darker themes and it’s hard for me to stomach slice-of-life shows that don’t focus on a mature and engaging plot). However, Arc-V and Zexal holds a special place in my heart (as does VRAINS, begrudgingly) and so I occasionally find myself wandering back to these shows like right now,,, 

[ivyuns]

it’s you ❆

lee felix

genre: angst

word count: 2.2k

warnings: bad language + not proofread bc i was real tired from staying up

A/N: mentions of itzy but i know my baddies would never do this ok it’s just a replacement for names and this is really bad i apologize !!

masterlist

you invited all 7 of your bestest friends for a sleepover; yuna, julia, yeji, ryujin, chaeryeong, jooyoung, and felix. you and your 7 friends has been together since middle school and now you guys are in your first year of college. but felix, you two have been childhood best friends. it started as you playing at the neighborhood playground.

your mom and aunt were talking while watching you play on the bench. you went on the slide and fell down. you cried out for your mom’s name but she didn’t hear clear enough. you cried and cried til a boy bent down and asked what was wrong. you look up and saw a boy around your age. you told him your situation and he got a first aid kit from his mom and bandaged you. “thank you” you softly said. “don’t worry! i hope your knee gets better! i’m felix by the way.” ah, so that was his name. “i’m y/n!” you exclaimed. you two started playing with each other since then, even to college days.

you were cut off by your thoughts when you heard your doorbell ring. you looked on your phone to see who was here by the camera on your doorbell and saw your 5 bad bitches. “hey gurlie!” “hi” “omg i missed you so much!” was all what the girls mouth came out from. you hugged everyone and welcomed them into your home. “so tonight, i also brought jooyoung and felix and were all sleeping in the living room!” chaeryeong gasped as she heard the name “jooyoung”. she had a big fat crush on him as the other girls ooed you two, knowing both of your crushes will be coming.

you guys keep talking and gossiping til you heard a doorbell, again. opening the RING app, you saw felix. you threw your phone and ran to your front door. the girls laughed and continued talking. you opened the door and saw felix with his messy hair and stuff. “hey pretty lady” he winked. you blushed and hugged him. “thank you for coming lix” you smiled and brought him to the living room where the rest of the people would be. the 5 girls talked and talked while you and felix were at your kitchen island. you two kept teasing each other and recreating funny tiktok memes you both saw on felix’s phone. the girls behind you two started eyeing you guys.

“are you sure they’re not dating?”

julia whispered. everyone else shook they’re head as a no. everyone were pretty sure you two belonged with each other, no matter what, you two were always together.

a doorbell caught everyone’s attention, even chaeryeong. chaeryeong ran to the front door, ready to greet jooyoung. everyone laughed, even felix since he knows about the whole chaeryeong liking jooyoung thing. she opened the door and stood in admiration. she stood there, looking at him for a whole minute til ryujin yelled at her. “yah chaeryeong! stop!” chaeryeong was back in reality and immediately apologized. “it’s no big deal silly” jooyoung reassured her, ruffling her hair and walking to felix. chaeryeong felt like she was in heaven, walking behind him as everyone laughed.

“ay wassup man!” jooyoung fists bumped with felix. “hey y/n! hey yeji, julia, ryujin and yuna!” he hugged everyone. chaeryeong bumped into a pillar while being focus on jooyoung. yeji turned around and saw chaeryeong on the floor.

“chaeryeong! wake up!”

yeji yelled and everyone’s attention was on yeji and chaeryeong. jooyoung ran to chaeryeong, making sure nothing badly injured her since he was in nursing school. “okay so nothing bad happened, just a small bruise will be on her forehead for a week but other than that, she’s all good!” yeji exhaled heavily, thankful for what jooyoung said. jooyoung picked up chaeryeong from the floor bridal style and laid her on the couch as everyone started chatting again,

30 minutes later.

chaeryeong was still passed out on the couch with her favorite blanket of hers on her. ryujin, yeji, jooyoung and felix started yawning and went to bed. meanwhile you, julia, and yuna remained in the dinning room, not too close from the living room. yuna started confessing how she was in love with this boy and pointed out his futures. i listened carefully and made me feel like she was in love with felix. i mean yuna is pretty. prettier than me. her long blonde hair, skinny waist, and natural glowing skin. wait no i shouldn’t be like this. yuna checked the time and read [2:09AM] on her phone. “oh guys, i should head to bed. goodnight see you later!” and went to the living room with the tv only lighting up the room.

“yeah, i should go too. night y/n!” julia yawned a goodnight to you. “goodnight julia! sweet dreams” you smiled. now it was just you awake. you scrolled through instagram and snapchat, looking at your other friends; prettier than you. of course they’re better looking at you. you had acne scars on your face and you seem darker than others, though you were only korean/chinese. a tear left you eye as you quickly wiped it. you turned off your phone and left the dinning chair to head to bed couch. you looked up from staring at your foot to see yuna and cuddling. tch. no wonder she’s been quiet since he came.

you gasp and ran away, making your phone fall from your grip which resulted felix waking up. felix saw you running under the tv’s light and quickly got up, accidentally kicking yuna in the process. you ran to your garden and suprisingly it was raining. you found a spot and sobbed in a corner. felix managed to find you, due to your sobs and went to go hug you.

“i’m sorry y/n. it’s not what you think.”

“then what was it!?”

felix only sighed after you yelled at him. he kept hugging you while you lightly punched him, waiting for you to calm down to explain everything.

“i didn’t do anything. i thought it was you because you have almost the same futures as yuna. but i’m sorry, i should’ve made sure it was you instead of her. i love you y/n.” felix explained.

oh how could you not forgive your crush. you smiled and a stray tear left your eye again. felix wiped your tear and kissed your forehead. he ended up leading you to your mattress in the living room, not caring one bit of being wet from the rain.

everyone but you and felix woke up. yuna was confused as to why felix was sleeping with you, but everyone took pictures for memory since they knew you had a big crush on felix. yuna only smirked, trying to find her way to have felix her own.

next night.

you swear you saw the same thing. but this time, they were kissing. you couldn’t believe your eyes so you quickly ran out. ran outside to the neighborhood and hid behind a tree. you’re neighbors who were practically your other best friends, yi-seo and minho saw you and quickly approached you. they saw tears streaming down your face and asked what was wrong. you explained everything, even the part of how you fell in love with your best friend. they hugged you and told you it was ok and everything will stop. stop?

few weeks later.

you were laying in bed, trying hard to get rid of that image out. stupid y/n why did you have to fall for a guy like him. you got distracted from a notification from your phone and went to open it.

lix <3: hey wanna go to the mall? we haven’t hanged out in awhile (:

y/n!: yea let’s go!

you smacked your head after replying too fast. god we’re you such a clown for him.

-

you two arrived at the mall and decided to go for a escape room. you guys were so close on escaping til you told felix, “lix can i tell you something?” he looked at the timer to see you guys have 20 minutes left and nodded. you held your breathe for a minute, finally telling him how you feel.

“i-i like you. wait no i actually love you. you might not feel the same but these feelings had to be out of my chest somehow. i love how you would pick me up after class, how your sweet words would turn my bad day to a better day. how you would protect me as if i was a little girl who was about to get hurt. how you would care and support me. how you would forgive me for the dumbest shit i ever did. how you would suddenly turn into a bad boy for me. how you would make me smile and laugh like nobody had made me do. because of you, it’s you. it’s always you. how shown me my actual self. and because of you, i don’t think nobody would ever compare to you.”

you closed your eyes as you felt relieved. but also felt tears. felix only scoffs and and chuckles. “you really think i like you back? no way in hell would i love you. yeah you maybe my childhood best friend but not all endings are like those fanfics. i see you as a little sister, not something more than a best friend. i’m sorry but you can get this through your own way.”

with that, felix left you alone in the cold room. you cried and cried til you passed out in the cold. the mall closed and the owner of the store was making sure everything was ready for the next group to come by tomorrow til he saw a lifeless body on the floor. they tried to wake you up by shaking you til they felt your pulse, it was nothing. they called 911 and took you to the emergency room.

-

felix’s pov.

“hello? are you somehow miss y/n’s friend?” a voice rang through the call. “yes. did anything happen?” i asked, tears streaming down my cheeks. “something did happen. can you please come to levanter hospital?” with that, i hung up and called the group and hesitated to call changbin. i ran to the hospital they told me. oh my god what have i done.

-

as i entered the hospital, only to see julia, yeji and changbin sitting with tears down their face. i slowly approached them and changbin noticed. “you fucking jerk! do you not know how much you meant to y/n and you fucking left her to die!? you kid. why did i let you close to my sister anyways.” he yelled at me and threw punches. i deserve this.

yeji and julia stood up to stop changbin punching me. i look in the mirror in front of me and damn, i fucked up bad. the doctor came out and asked for a family member of y/n. changbin stood up and gave me a stare. “if she’s dead you’re fucked up kid.” and left to go to the room.

changbin’s pov.

i entered the room and sat in front of the doctor. “how are you related to miss y/n sir?” he asked. “i am seo changbin, her brother.” i introduced myself. “ah ok changbin. i hate to say but your little sister had blood poisoned where her body wasn’t functioning well. the test came positive where she was slacking nutrients in her body and stayed dehydrated. since she was in the room for so long, she has a very low chance on surviving.” wait what? did he just- i widen my eyes and yelled at him. “please do your best to save her! she’s the only thing i have please!” i held his shoulders and cried. no, i can’t let y/n go just how mom and dad left. stay strong y/n. please.

3rd pov.

“you know, she gave big hints for you felix.” yeji spoke after changbin was asked to go to the room. “yea, she was head over heels for you. til you had to ruin her fun with yuna” julia joined in. felix didn’t know what to do. he just ruined his best friends life and he doesn’t know if she’ll be alive or not.

the doctor came out with a changbin, crying behind him and told the three the news. julia and yeji held each other and cried in each other’s arms. felix, he only clenched his fist, making his nuckles white and crying even more harder.

-

the surgery was unsuccessful. chaeryeong, ryujin and jooyoung got a call which resulted chaeryeong in a big mess of tears. she couldn’t believe it. her best friend just died with a snap. she went up to felix and grabbed his shoulders. “you fucking dick how could you!? how can you not realized what you done!?” she screamed into felix’s face til jooyoung had to hold her back and hugged her, telling her it’s okay. (yes they end up getting together)

felix didn’t know what to do anymore. he finally has those feelings for you. the feelings of what you told felix. he feels a pang in his heart after looking and reminiscing the memories of you two. he knows there won’t be another you. he knows that it was only you who was his sunshine. it was you all the time. it’s you who made him happier than he was.

—

(he ended up cutting ties with yuna omg this is so bad)

[ificanthaveu]

Love, Change and The DropBack || The DropBack || Shawn Mendes

Description: After Shawn finally confronts you about what’s going on between the two of you, you find yourself going to the one person you know will know what to do. David.

A/N: here it is my babes. grab ur tissues. I got choked up while writing this. honestly I'm too connected to this story and I want it to go on forever and ever but unfortunately, there are only two parts left after this :( but I hope you love this so so much bc I really loved writing this chapter...also we love Alex. college boys am I right?

Word Count: 2.6k

This is part 8 of a series! Catch up before you read this part!

Shawn was never someone to get mad. He brushed everything off so easily. But as he slammed the door behind him after you left, it hit him how mad he was.

But how could he be mad? It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t your fault. It was just how life was right now. And it sucked.

He stormed up to his room and tugged at his hair as he paced back and forth. Not knowing if he should’ve chased after you, tried harder, made you stay.

He finally sat on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his hands, trying to rub the headache away. 

He was clicking on Matthew’s contact before letting himself think too much.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Matthew said happily through the phone, like always.

“I don’t know,” Shawn mumbled. He sighed and laid back on his bead. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

“What’s going on? Isn’t [Y/N] with you?” Matthew questioned.

“She just left,” he said quietly.

“Why? What happened?”

“I think I fucked up,” he paused and took a deep breath. “We were talking about college and the future and..” he trailed off, “us. We were talking about us. And then we were fighting. And then she cried and she left.”

“She cried?” Matthew said with a concerned voice.

“Yeah, she cried,” Shawn said feeling the guilt hit him.

“Do you know if she went home?” Matthew asked.

“I don’t know. She just left,” Shawn said.

“Listen, Shawn, this isn’t your fault,” Matthew started.

“It sure does feel like that,” he mumbled.

“Cut that out. You know all that [Y/N] has been through. She doesn’t take stuff like this very easily. She just needs time. She’s not just never going to talk to you again. She’ll take a minute. Take a step back. Figure everything out. And then she’ll come back. She doesn’t leave people very easily,” Matthew explained.

“Should I call her?” Shawn said quickly.

“No. Don’t,” Matthew said just as fast. “Let her think this through and figure things out. She’ll be calling you before you know it.”

“I hope,” Shawn mumbled, turning to lay on his side, glancing at his open laptop with a picture that Elsie took of him lifting you up in the air with you laughing and a big smile on his face at a playoff game a few weeks ago. “Can I tell you something? You can’t tell anyone. Not Elsie. Not [Y/N]. Definitely not [Y/N]. No one.”

--- 

You felt your eyes start to close about an hour into the drive when you remembered that you definitely didn’t sleep last night and hadn’t had an ounce of caffeine yet. You found the nearest cafe and ordered a coffee-to-go. You found a seat at a table near the pick-up counter and looked at your phone for the first time all day. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to see Shawn’s name on the screen or not. It wasn’t.

You pushed the feelings back again and typed out a quick message to Elsie, but you couldn’t figure out what even to tell her. So, instead, you just called her.

She picked up on the second ring, “Hey, are you ok?”

“No,” you mumbled.

“What’s wrong? Where are you? Aren’t you with Shawn?” she asked. 

You looked around at the cafe, “To be honest, El, I have no idea where I am. Some cafe on the freeway heading southbound.”

“Are you going to see David?”

“You know me too well.”

“So, I’m assuming things with Shawn didn’t go so well,” she said softly, in that concerned voice you rarely heard come from her.

“No, they didn’t,” you said simply, not wanting to relive it quite yet. 

“David will know what to say,” Elsie said.

“He always does,” you said. The woman called out your name and set your iced coffee down on the counter. 

“I’ve gotta go, El. I’ll call you when I’m home,” you said as you stood up from your table.

“And when will that be?” she asked. 

“Um, either before dinner or in two to three days,” you said, grabbing your coffee and making your way back to your car. 

“You do what you have to do. I’ll be waiting here when you’re done,” she said. 

“You’re the best. I’ll talk to you soon, bye,” you hung up the phone and hopped back into your car. 

You pulled up your text messages with your mom and sent out a quick text letting her know you last minute decided to go visit David. 

You were on the road again in less than fifteen minutes, taking the all too familiar route to your brother’s apartment a few blocks away from the main campus. 

Your mind stayed empty for most of the ride. Your hands would shake every once in a while, mostly whenever you let yourself feel guilty and regretful. Before you were able to let yourself think too far into it, you were pulling up in front of David’s.

You hadn’t told him you were coming because you knew if you did, he’d be sending you home to go fix things. And you weren’t ready to fix things.

You knocked harshly on his apartment door and crossed your arms while you waited for him. The door swung open, and you were met with his roommate Alex. He gave you a confused look.

“[Y/N]? I didn’t know you were visiting this weekend,” he said with a smile as he let you in. You tried to return the smile and followed him inside. “How are things going?” he asked.

You shrugged your shoulders and looked at him, “They’ve been better.”

He nodded in agreement before shuffling into the kitchen.

“Hey, who was at the-“ David cut himself off as he looked at you.

He could tell you hadn’t slept from a mile away. He could also tell that you had been crying. 

“Oh no,” he mumbled. Without saying another word, he had an arm wrapped around you, leading you to the balcony on the far end of his apartment. He shut the door behind him and pulled you in for a tight hug as you cried into his chest. You were really feeling the regret now.

“You’re fine. You’re going to be ok,” he whispered as he patiently waited for you to stop crying. In the meantime, Alex had cracked the door open and handed David a few waters and a beer (“whatever one she’s feeling”).

After a few minutes, you pulled away and sat across from David on the half-broken lawn chairs. He handed you the water, and you took a few drinks before trying to control your breathing.

“What happened?” David asked softly. 

You sighed and wiped your face before saying, “Shawn. Shawn Mendes happened.”

David sighed and crossed his arms. “I swear to God if he broke your heart-“

You cut him off. “No, Dave. I broke his,” you said a little too harshly. 

“I’m going to need a little more detail.”

You let out a huff and pulled your leg to your chest, resting your chin on your knee. 

“He really likes me,” you said as you looked over at David and your tears started to well up again. “And I think I really like him, but I can’t even tell what these feelings are. And he wants to go to Penn State which is so far from here, and I got this feeling in my gut that I’ve never felt before. Like I was going to lose him. But I barely even have him? Like it’s only been two months, and he’s all ready to move back to the east coast. Just like that.”

David shrugged his shoulders and nodded along to what you were saying.

“And then we were fighting,” you stopped talking and looked out past the balcony, trying to admire the campus that was going to be yours in less than a year. 

“Fighting about what?” David questioned.

You looked at him and your mind went blank, “I don’t know,” you whispered before shaking your head. “Everything? College and what we are and the future and my life plans and home and everything, David. It was everything,” you said as you buried your head in your hands again and tried to breathe. 

David reached our and rubbed your back as you composed yourself and started talking again.

“I can’t do this,” you said a little angrily. “This wasn’t the plan. I was going to get through my senior year with Elsie and Matthew, and I was going to graduate and come here and start my future. On my own. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Plans change,” David said simply.

“This one wasn’t supposed to. Everything is always changing, and this was supposed to be the one thing that didn’t,” you choked out as your throat went dry.

“What do you mean?” He pried.

“I mean that we’ve been between two houses for as long as I can remember. That Mom and Dad can’t even be in the same room when at some point they used to be in love. Those shitty friends I had freshman year that used to mean everything to me until they ruined me. Every style I have ever had. Any number on your football jersey. Transferring schools in the middle of third grade. Splitting up clothes between two houses or having to pack to go to what was supposed to be a home to us. One minute, Mom’s there, the next she’s not. Same with Dad. You’re here. And you’re not back home. It all is always changing, and I thought my senior year would finally be different, but it wasn’t,” you said, trying not to shout as you got angry. 

“And I don’t think I even know what love is,” you said, annoyed. “Because apparently Mom and Dad had none of that.”

“They did at some point,” David reminded you.

“But it wasn’t forever,” you reminded him. “What if love isn’t actually forever? What if I risk it all for him and then it’s two years later and I don’t feel the same way anymore?” you said softly, and paused before you said what you were actually scared of. “What if I’m just not capable of love?”

“[Y/N], is that really what you think?” David said with that concerned big brother look on his face.

“What if I’m just not meant to fall in love?”

“You’re eighteen. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”

“You’ve only had one girlfriend, and you dumped her after five months because she told you that she loved you and you didn’t feel the same way,” you said as you pointed at him.

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Is it? Because it sounds to me like you weren’t in love.”

“I wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean I never will be,” he said calmly.

“But what if?”

“The world is full of what-ifs. You can’t base every decision off of that,” he said as he motioned with his arms.

“What if we never learned to really love because of Mom and Dad? Have you ever thought about that?” You asked him.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “For a long time. But I realized I’m young. And I know what’s meant for me will come when the time is right.”

You scoffed and leaned your head back on the chair, closing your eyes for a moment. 

“Are you scared?” He said as he watched you carefully.

“Terrified,” you whispered.

It went quiet for a few minutes. The only things you could hear were the cars driving below you, an occasional shout from the apartment next door and Alex watching some show in the living room. 

“I remember when Dad stormed out that one night, a few weeks before they told us they were getting a divorce. And Mom wouldn’t leave her room, no matter how many times we knocked. You eventually found your way into my room and we laid on my bed and just stared at those dumb plastic glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I asked you if you were scared. And you said no,” he recalled. 

“I don’t remember that,” you said.

“I’ll never forget it,” he said as he stopped looking at you for a minute. “You’ve never been scared of anything. You’ve always taken change head-on and pushed through it. And even if you were scared, you always hid it. No one ever knew. When Mom and Dad got divorced, I’d have to be the one to ask your teachers how you were doing since Mom and Dad clearly weren’t doing anything. But they always said the same thing. You were doing just fine. Yeah, sometimes you were dramatic,” he paused as you rolled your eyes and he laughed at you, “but you always carried on. To see you visibly scared because of your feelings for Shawn, now that’s what scares me.”

“What do I do?” You said under your breath.

“You have to make a decision. You’re the quarterback. You were just handed the ball. What are you going to do with it?” David asked.

“Well, I was going to run, but now everything - everyone - is right in front of me, and I’m probably about to fumble it,” you mumbled.

“There are always other options,” he said.

“Like what, Dave?” You asked, entertaining his analogy.

“Sometimes when you don’t see the opening you want or initially planned on, you’ve just gotta drop back and go for it,” he paused, “and not think about those other players coming at you. It’s you, the ball, and the wide receiver sprinting down the field.”

You just looked at him with your eyebrows knit together. 

“[Y/N], if you have these feelings for Shawn, it doesn’t matter about the other factors that are clouding in front of you. The schools, our parents, graduation, the future. None of it matters except for you, Shawn and the feelings you two clearly have for each other,” he said as he leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees. “Elsie, Matthew and I are on your team, and we can try to fend off these factors as long as we can, but we’re losing momentum. Time is ticking. Those factors are coming closer and becoming more real. But Shawn is down that field, waiting for you to realize he’s open and to throw that ball to him, so he can make another one of his multiple, amazing touchdowns,” he paused, and you laughed at him. “You have to throw him the ball because if you fumble it, you’re definitely losing this game. But if you throw it, and Shawn catches it, then you have that much greater of a chance of winning it.”

You didn’t say anything for a minute as you let this all sink in. 

“You’re right,” you mumbled as you kept staring forward.

You heard him laugh before he said, “Like always.”

You let yourself smile a little as you looked back at him.

“Mom and Dad really fucked us up, huh?” He said with a smile.

You rolled your eyes at him and pressed your cheek to your knee. 

“We sure had some great love role models,” you mumbled with an eye roll.

“But you’ve got Elsie and Matthew,” he reminded you.

You nodded your head, “Yeah, they like to remind me of that a lot.”

The two of you sat in silence for a while, just staring at the fall colors around you.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asked after a few moments of silence. 

“I’m going to drop back. I’m going to go for it. I have to.”

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[kachinnate]

we’ve finally come time for the one (1) annual Kayla’s Having a Bad Time post 

i don’t know anymore what exactly is wrong with me but wow!! is it bad!!! and wow do i hate it !!!!! i have not gone a day w/o crying in like a week and a half and i’m so tired, i’m literally so tired of hating myself just for existing and i’m tired of all the little things that should not upset me upsetting me only because they’re in masse, only because all together it’s so much and i only have two fucking hands 

and like in the back of my mind even fucking still i’m like “.... okay but placebo effect. okay but you aren’t really sad tho. okay but you literally just don’t want to get better you are doing this for attention you are doing this bc being content would be easy and you just want to stir the pot clearly, just stop” to the point where i’m like I Guess I Have To Prove to even myself that i am fucking justified in feeling the way that i do before my brain gaslights itself into thinking that there was never anything wrong with me to begin with and that i’ve fucking put myself in this hole myself for no reason other than ... i don’t even know! i don’t know 

makes a list in my notes :) to remember all the heinous bullshit going on :) and maybe for catharsis reasons i don’t fucking care anymore 

- it’s the anniversary of the thing. you know. ;) the kind of traumatic experience of having the people i called best friends fucking uhhh pick on me every day for the entirety of like eight months - on my eating habits on my behavior on my anxiety on the things they knew i fucking hated about myself - only for them to just. drop me all of a sudden, on THEIR own terms, as if I was the one who fucking did anything to THEM, thus rendering me from never getting my own fucking closure from the situation ! i have both of them still added as friends on snapchat and i follow them on instagram because for some reason i know that if i just blocked them it would cause problems (what problems?? what arbitrary fucking problems???) seeing their faces makes me feel literal actual dread, i can’t go to one of the restaurants in my town alone because they work there and i hate it ! i hated every second of april 2019 - september 2019 where i felt fucking psychotic for being upset over this situation, where i couldn’t convince myself that i wasn’t insane for being strung up and i couldn’t even call it trauma until like march when someone coined it that for me themselves lol ,,,, i hate myself for still giving them my thoughts, i hate myself for wondering that in a different universe where i wasn’t as fucking stupid or ditzy if they’d still talk to me. i hate myself for wondering if ***** looks at the message i left on her poster last april where i told her how much i admired her and loved her and thinks about me, because that was probably the last time i ever said anything real to her, which... haha. what a JOKE right? 

- my rsd has somehow fucking spiked and gotten so much worse in like.. the last eight days. literally when i first posted ‘sweet hibiscus tea’ i went and checked it a few days after and it had like. two dislikes? and i like. cried? :) which is so dramatic and i hate it djksgndsg i can’t go a day reading messages or texts from anyone who talks to me without finding one that’s not inherently positive and picking it apart until i’ve hurt myself over something that wasn’t even related, im too sensitive about EVERYTHING but i don’t know how to address it or deal with it so i just don’t which i think is... why it’s getting worse oop. it gets triggered by literally fucking everything i hate it here 

- one of the only things bringing me any sort of serotonin rn is making content. hense the hyperfixating on my r and on this oneshot and on the writing meme things, like. it makes me feel productive, but hyperfixating for me oftentimes leads to a bad headspace which makes me fucking disoriented when i come out of it, and like. ofc there’s the typical things w it too like me forgetting to do other shit like eat or whatever but it’s literally been the only way i can cope with myself. making things. getting validation for things. if i can entertain someone for like, ten minutes, maybe anything i do matters. maybe. fuck. 

- i can’t not self isolate myself when things are bad, i just. can’t sdjgnsd like i hate talking about myself i hate talking about the way i feel because nothing makes sense?? i encourage people to talk to me when they feel bad but i can’t ever do the same for myself because i’m a hypocrite! and like the feelings of worthlessness overpower everything i do! convince me people don’t care and shit when i know that’s not the case, but if i acknowledge that then i have to think about how i’m being selfish by fucking moping but not talking to anyone, and i just! i cannot win !!! ever! 

- ^^^^ on that note, literally the few times i’ve felt okay recently i’ve had that ripped right from me by little things people close to me have done, like !! can you not vague me?? regardless of if you see that i’m doing bad mentally or not ???? i’m begging you , i’m so sorry that i’m not acting normal but can you for one second maybe consider that i’m a person ? i may be SAD but i’m not fucking STUPID so if i bother you just tell me ??? it’s the least you can do ??????

- scared i can’t love. scared i’m not morally a good person. scared that i’m selfish but don’t realize it. i wasn’t meant to have a confidant i don’t think and who am i to ever try and subject anyone to my fucked up head 

- i’m constantly fucking terrified on my dad’s behalf because this dude is 41 years old yet i’m the fucking adult out of the two of us most of the time? he comes home drunk so often and i’ve thought that he’s had alcohol poisoning more than once and i hate being fucking scared of having to like. contact fafsa or my college like “hey can u adjust my financial aid, because i’m kind of an orphan now? :’)” we don’t have any other family, i can’t ask anyone to help me it’s literally me and him against the world and he’s put me on this pedestal of being an amazing daughter so i feel guilty at the thought of anything happening to him as if i’m his fucking guardian. he drinks so much and he’s so infidelious and ridiculous so what’s going to happen when i leave ? 

it’s just. so much. but i don’t want to be a beacon of negative shit because even after all of this i’m self conscious of making other people sad so i pretend that everything’s fine on my sc and in person , which i know gives off the vibe of “but she’s not even acting sad? :///” when i offhandedly mention anywhere that i’ve been depressed and i just. i’m sorry that i don’t post about how when i’m not staring at my huion screen i’m fucking staring at the wall wondering if anyone would fucking notice other than my dad and my coworkers if i just disappeared without a word

it feels selfish to complain about my life feeling bad with all the shit going on, too, on top of that. so it’s better if i just don’t say anything at all, there’s other shit to deal with other than my life falling apart because really this just happens every year around this time doesn’t it. i’ll get over it. i’m being dramatic and stupid and in like two months none of this will even fucking matter 

tldr; i need to get my meds upped or something 

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author’s note: i get inspired by the most insignificant little things and i have no idea where im gonna go w this fic but...... juvia is so BEAUTIFUL omfg n i literally just wanna write a fic ab gray appreciating that. that’s it lmao. enjoy my loves!!!<333

**another note: haha oh ok it turned into something kinda rly different! its fine ig! psa im ab to kinda rant so u can skip this if u want!! if u wanna read this part it might be better to do it after u read the fic???? these arent spoilers its just kinda behind the scenes of ig.. ok so i try to think of gruvia in the most realistic sense possible. i incorporated gray having crushes bc simply, i think its true. i think gray had a crush on erza and lucy. i also think gray didnt fall in love w juvia at first sight lmao. i think it took a lot of time for gray to understand what juvia meant to him. also i find it INFURIATING that gray has never commented on juvias looks lmaooo (to my knowledge). like he said lucy and erza were pretty (at least in the anime) and literally all i want is for gray to acknowledge how fuckin BEAUTIFUL juvia is ongogmgogm. ok ok yes he commented "you're mine" and said "ur body is something i care about" and a whole lot of other romantic things but he has never made a comment solely on juvias looks and ik looks dont matter and im sure its hard for gray to even think ab juvias looks considering all the personality she has but literally all i want is a "ur cute". like thats all i need lmao. my girl needs recognition for being the most beautiful person EVER!! so yeah this fic is me trying to process how gray sees juvia, and even tho he doesnt say it, i can at least tell myself this is his thought process lmaooo. ((he also prolly doesn't say shes cute cus it would be way too embarrassing for him considering he has like actual real feelings for her)) ok ignore me literally typing word vomit lol pls enjoy ilysm. (((this rant is longer than the fucking fic. i cri.))))

*

Gray always had crushes.

It was normal, but Gray never really reflected on it until now.

First, there was Erza. They were just kids. When she first joined the guild, Gray thought she was weird, but he soon found out she was much more than that. She challenged him. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too. He wanted to figure her out. She had a complexity that he never experienced before, and he was intrigued by it. Soon, the curiosity of the pretty girl with the scarlet hair molded into an admiration. He admired her beauty, her ability, and her heart, and the attraction just fizzled away over time.

Then, there was Lucy. This one was far simpler, and didn't hurt Gray's brain as much to try to comprehend. She was cute. She was quirky. She was a fresh face he saw around the guild. He couldn't deny the instant attraction he felt towards her, and he didn't necessarily try to fight it either. The bond was harmless, and Gray never expected anything to come from it, nor did he try to advance it in any way. She was just Lucy. A friend, a guildmate, and a teammate. While a part of him was inclined to make some sort of move, an even larger part of him didn't feel right about it. That small part that inquired for something more seemed to die out as well, and while he wasn't sure why at first, he was finally starting to realize what it was.

Finally, there's Juvia, who he would hardly ever consider a crush. Honestly, at first, nothing really struck him. She was pretty he supposed, but had an odd look. She had a dull personality. She was nothing special. Just another enemy to take out. That was all until their first fight came to an end. A piece of her did stand out to Gray, and it stuck to him. He wasn't sure why, but it did.

Then, time went on. Juvia's personality completely flourished, and it was like she became a whole new person. While Gray at first saw her mostly as an annoyance, it transformed into something completely foreign to him. He never knew how to place this feeling, and even now he still has trouble comprehending Juvia from time to time. While he wasn't sure how to feel about her, he did always know that she was something special. She was there for him like no one else was. She supported, helped, and loved him more than anyone. He was completely overcome by all of her. He was so overwhelmed by her love, it took him a long time to realize just how much he needed and cherished it. He needed that warmth in his cold, seemingly tragic life. While the people in his past died for him, she lived for him. He only recently realized that in some ways, that was much harder, and it was certainly much more meaningful.

She did have her faults though, as all people do. She was completely neurotic, clingy, emotional, short-tempered, dramatic, and just--well-- a weirdo, but...

he loved her.

He loved her strength, her devotion, her kindness, her optimism towards life, her enthusiasm, her humor (even when she didn't mean to be funny), and well- he just loved everything about her. Even the bits mentioned earlier that seemed not so great. He loved it all.

He had a hard time even calling Juvia a crush, truthfully. The way he felt towards her was far stronger than anything he'd felt for anyone else. Erza and Lucy held a place in his heart at one point, but now, Juvia was the whole thing. She owned every last part of it. It was a feat neither of the former girls possessed, and he didn't think anyone other than Juvia ever could.

And as he sat at a table across from the three women he ever had romantic feelings for in his life: Erza, Lucy, and Juvia, and pondered on these thoughts, he decided not only did Juvia have an amazing soul, she was damn beautiful too.

The strange thing was, Juvia was always pretty. But unlike his former crushes, he never really seemed to take the time to admire Juvia's looks. It was her personality that always stuck out to Gray.

But when he did take the time to sit and just look at her... wow. Erza and Lucy couldn't even hold a candle to her.

It was remarkable, honestly. She was nothing like any girl he had ever seen before. She was totally unique. Her hair was the perfect shade of blue that accompanied her perfect waves, making her mane resemble that of a beautiful ocean that he would absolutely love to get lost in. Her bangs fell perfectly over her hooded eyes that were coated in long lashes, and in them held a deep blue escape that were her eyes. Oh god, her eyes. They could tell you a whole story those damned things. Gray never had to ask her what she was feeling, because her eyes always said it all. Natsu was sitting beside him at the time, and said something that caused Juvia to laugh. Her plump, naturally pouted lips turned into a big beautiful grin in an instant. Gray wasn't sure what Natsu said, but it must've been pretty funny, because she then covered her mouth as she began to laugh even louder, and Gray was wishing she didn't hide behind her petite hands. After the laugh fest was over, she regained her composure and tucked an unruly blue lock behind her ear, and closed her mouth as her lips parted into a content grin, and just that small gesture shamefully drove Gray crazy. She was a masterpiece.

He decided he didn't stop to think about how breathtaking she was so much, because then it would turn into this. It became Gray relishing in every little detail Juvia possessed, and every mannerism she did. He never felt the need to look at a girl like that before, with such interest in detail. The feeling that took over when he really looked at Juvia was far too strong for him to comprehend too often. It was a feeling completely unfamiliar to him until he saw her. While his emotions about her were a lot for him to handle sometimes, he was thankful for it.

He was grateful for every last part of her.

"Gray-sama, are you alright?" She tilted her head ever so slightly, causing the tides of her hair to fall in a new, but beautiful way, and her eyes were filling with harmless concern. She must've finally caught him staring.

"U-uh yeah." He stammered. "I'm good."

"You're sure?" Her eyes began to flood with more worry, and she reached her hand across the table, holding onto his. Her soft, milky skin clashed with his rough feel, but they somehow fit perfectly together. He flinched at first, but instead of throwing a fit for his hatred of PDA, he decided he'd let their hands be. He wanted to take every part of her in right now.

"Yeah." He smirked, and slightly squeezed onto her hand, not caring about Natsu, Lucy, Erza, or anyone seeing them at that moment in time. She was all his. Not only was she his, but she was it. She was really the one.

"I'm just fine."

[franeridart]

Wow Hi I can't spell for shit but I was wondering if you could draw some more KamiSero? Your art style is really beautiful and there are not much KamiSero art >•

Awww thank you!!! And in the future I might, yeah! Right now I’m a bit swamped by the zine things and using the time I take away from it to draw low effort stuff or my main ships so I can’t promise it’ll happen soon, but I still like the ship lots so !!! might happen!!

Anon said:Hey thanks for that last art I know you're probably just staying on model and it doesn't really mean anything but it felt really good to see a character with my body type for once so thank you

Anon the pleasure was all mine! Miruko’s body type is beautiful to look at and a pleasure to draw, and if my indulging myself could make you happy then that makes it even better spent time!!

Anon said:I love you. That is all. Carry on.

Thank you!! I love you too!!!!!

Anon said:that drawing of hawks blessed me and my children and the children of my children, i feel the salvation in my bones, i've been purified

I dunno which one specifically you’re talking about, but thank you!!!! ;^;

Anon said:I just wanna say I love Baku I’m goods! Peace

Hell yeah anon love that boy!! Smother him in love!!!! Give him all the affection his heart can take and then more!!!!!

Anon said:This is from the anon asking about todoraka and iideku fusions, I just got far enough to find them, sorry for bothering you earlier!

Not a bother at all, don’t worry about it!!! And thank you for liking my designs enough to ask about them!!!!

Anon said:Hey!! I love your art so so so much and i was wondering if you could get in some mina and bakugo friendship content bc they're just,,, so underrated as friends and I love them

Ahhhhhhh the Baku // Mina friendship debate, nice, hadn’t been around on this blog for a while - you know, the reason why there isn’t much content and their friendship is somewhat underrated (unless we’re talking about full squad content, there’s a lot of baku and mina there) is that, going only by canon, they... aren’t friends. Of course Mina’s part of the squad, but she is more in virtue of the fact that she’s besties with Kaminari and Sero and has her backstory relationship with Kirishima, than because she has had any significant interactions with Bakugou (a bit like Jirou’s a member of the squad through Sero and Kaminari and Bakugou even if she’s got no relationship with Kirishima at all, all in all) - I, personally, like to think they could be great friends, you know? But if we’re talking canon I can count the times they interacted on the fingers of one hand (the only serious one being during the sports fest, which Mina herself commented as Bakugou picking her only cause of her acid being a good strategy against Todoroki’s ice)

I know this is sort of a digression from your question, but, as you obviously noticed since you sent me this question, lately whenever I have focused on Bakugou’s friendships in my drawings Mina hasn’t been there, and people have been more or less aggressively pointing it out to me, like I was doing a disservice to a canon friendship by not portraying it - when in truth the relationship in question has nearly no canon basis at all. So I just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart and honestly, I’m sorry if my liking to delve into and focus on Bakugou’s canon friendships makes you sad, but if the focus of a drawing or a set of drawings is supposed to be Bakugou and the relationships Horikoshi gifted him, then Mina’s most probably not gonna be there (for now, I’m still hoping Hori will add her to his growing list of canon friends soon *crosses fingers*)

Either way this has nearly nothing to do with your question and it wasn’t even really directed at you specifically, I just used the chance to address something that was bothering me a bit - THAT SAID! I do have something I mean to draw that’s gonna be focused on Bakugou and include Mina! It might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but I hope you’ll like it anyway, at least a tiny little bit! ;^;

Anon said:I loved your Have a Nice day comic. It really gave me a nice day. It’s totally cute I can imagine them living together and sing this every morning Love your art xoxoxo

Ahhhh thank you so much!!!! I’m super glad you liked it!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Bro I just wanted to thank you! Becuase of your amazing art on boku no hero academia. It got me intrested in checking it out. And let me tell you, I love this show sooo much,even if its getting really intense right now. So its all thanks to you that I even started watching it.Its even more amazing becuase I get to admire your stunning work base on it.Thank You!!!!! 💕💕💕💕

HECK I’m so glad you checked it out and ended up liking it!!!! I hope you’ll keep on enjoying it from now on too, anon!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hey fran! I love your art style so much!! Will we ever see more of the Bakushima neighbor’s cat au?

I KEEP ON PROCRASTINATING ON THAT ONE!!! I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!! It’s in the projects but I never!!! sit down!!!! to draw it!!!!! So I wanna say yes, because that’s the plan! But when I’m being honest I’m not so sure anon orz

Anon said:Okay but like.... hawks is hot right?? Its not just me??

Given the reaction the whole fandom has had to him, I’m pretty sure it’s not just you anon hahaha

Anon said:AAAAAA I BOUGHT A STICKER FROM YOUR REDBUBBLE ACCOUNT AND IT ARRIVED TODAY AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!

I’M SUPER GLAD TO HEAR THAT!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BUYING!!!!!!!

Anon said:Could you possibly draw more of the Deku + Kirishima fusion?

I... dunno? If I ever feel in the mood to play around with that AU again? But to be honest if I were to draw something that isn’t just a design for it it’s probably... not gonna be about kiri and deku of all people............ so I can’t promise anything, sorry!

Anon said:Hi! I know you haven’t really touched the fusions au in a while but please consider: miritama fusion

I have considered it! It’s the first one I’m gonna draw if I’ll ever feel like going back on the fusions!

Anon said:Let kirishima touch the butty

I’m 100% sure Bakugou lets him touch anything he wants, but if you want depictions of that this blog is not the right place to ask, anon hahaha

Anon said:First off, you draw the greatest art/headcanons for KiriBaku I've ever seen! Secondly, I found it funny since Bakugou is almost exactly like his mom, and since she got with Bakugou's dad by aggressively hitting on him, what if there was a scenario where Bakugou did that to Kirishima? Idk, I just thought it would be funny.

I actually have a couple of comics based on that concept!! Somewhere... in my bakushima tag............ I’ll def draw more on the same line in the future, tho!

Anon said:I know you posted your batteryacid (kamimina) picture a while ago but I just saw it and I'm sobbing I love it!

YO that makes me super happy, thank you!!!! I love that ship so much, it’s nice to know you liked the little thing I drew for it!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:hi, i just binge watched bnha for the first time and now that i understand all your comics i fucking love them, i'm in love, i love bakugou, i love them all, i love your art

And I love YOU to be hecking honest!!!! Thank you for loving my boy, anon!!!!

Anon said:i just want kirishima to meet bakugou’s family one time in the show and his mother is probably gonna wanna make him her second son and bakugous LOSING IT

I DO hope that’s gonna happen in the manga canon sooner or later, but meanwhile Kirishima met Mitsuki in one of the novels! She’d been taken hostage by a villain, and Bakugou yelled at her for it, and she yelled right back at him like she wasn’t in the hands of a villain right then, and Kirishima said “as expected from Bakugou’s mom” and Bakugou said “don’t admire her!” or something on that line - I’d give you a link if I knew how I tagged it when I reblogged it, but I’m sure if you dig a bit around you can find it! Maybe on @aitaikimochi‘s blog, they translated a lot of kiribaku novel moments!

Anon said:im supposing that you do, but why do you think you like bakugou so much? personally i just like the angry scowl-y but fluffy characters haha and really hes so!! cute!!! and cool!!! really!!!!! hes so good at so many things but he sucks so badly ay feelings its so!! endearing!!!! apart from this i meant to praise you and your work but i ended up screaming about bakugou hahaha. i love him too muchasgshdjl

Oh heck anon, you really don’t wanna get into this, if I started talking about why I love Bakugou as much as I do I’d probably end up saying a 10k worth of words hah I love everything about him, everything he is and everything he has the potential to be, everything he’s changed about himself and every step he’s taken along the way to be who he is right now. I love his personality and I love how strong he is, I love how hard he works, I love how angry he is and how honest and direct and genuine in everything he does he is. I love the way he interacts with people, I love his expressions SO MUCH, I love his habit of speaking in hyperboles and I love how he’s a fast thinker and how he has to go back and walk through every step he skipped when he explains things to people. I love that he presents himself as a genius when actually he just pours everything he has in being the best at everything he tries doing, I love that he’s autocritical and that he cares and that he admits when he’s wrong and that he cries, I love the fact that he cries a lot. I love that he’s set on his path and that he takes everything life throws at him and keeps walking head up and square shoulders, and also I love his eyes and his hero costume and the fact that he wants to be intimidating and yells DIE at inanimate objects and enjoys hiking in his spare time and that he calls people nerd like he isn’t one himself I just. Love him. So damn much.

Anon said:Franeriiiiii~ I see that you're trying new techniques on your arts! Very nice, I enjoy watching you come up with new clothing and whatnot. I also see that the painting is a bit different, more detailed. Just dropping by to let you know I see your efforts ❤ keep on exploring! Maybe you'll discover that you can do what you couldn't in the past. As always, have a good day and much love \0/

SOB thank you SO MUCH, anon!!!!!

Anon said:Hey Fran, how are you? I was wondering if you have any tips on how to know where to place the shadows in a drawing? I'm still a beginner and this is the hardest part for me... And I love your art very much!! You're amazing, thank you for sharing your talent with us!

God, I would love to give you a hand there but to be fair I have zero clue what I’m doing when shading, anon ;-; I go a lot about it following more gut feeling and what looks right, than any actual tecnique (which probably shows to people who have a deeper understanding of it than I do orz) the best I can tell you to do is to try to draw from real life, but really this is such a hard question for me to answer when I myself need to work more on it ;^; I’m so sorry!

Anon said:Bakushima alternative ship name: POPROCKS

A GREAT NAME I’m nearly sure I read a fic called that once!

Anon said:I just wanted to thank you for sharing your amazing work for us. You literaly made my day

AHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Anon said:I just finished going through your kiribaku tag and I honestly don't know if I'm feeling fulfilled for all of it or empty because I just saw all of it daNG YOUR STYLE JUST FUCKING FITs KIRIBAKU SO MUCH I REALLY LOVE YOUR KRBK CONTENT AND THE KIDS FUUUUUUUKCKCKCKK. I'm really, really looking forward for more of your art but for now I gotta go through all your other content as well. Ps. Have I mentioned that I fucking love how you draw feet?????

OH MAN that’s such a nice thing to hear, that my style fits them!!! My style changed so much since I started drawing them that they probably influenced it to begin with, but I’m happy you like how it looks on them nonetheless!!! thank you so so much for the kind words and for taking the time to go through the whole tag!!!

Anon said:Hi! I’m an artist and i’ve been trying to draw boy teens for a while now but i cant seem to make them have muscles without making them look like sorta adults. Any tips? I like how you draw them

I dunno how qualified I am to answer this question since I’m still playing around with my style trying to work that out, but most of what I keep an eye out for are proportions and also how round I make the traits, I guess? The rounder the younger, as far as my art style goes - I also make the eyes bigger the younger my character is supposed to be, but that probably only works if you don’t mind your style not being all that realistic hahaha

Anon said:I want to go through and the like every single one of your posts but I feel like that's a little bit excessive. Since I can't do that, I would like to tell you how amazing you are and how even when I'm having a bad day your art always makes me smile. I hope you're having a lovely day!

Thank you so so much for this ask, anon!!!!!! I hope you’re having a wonderful day/week/month too!!!

Anon said:New hawk boy lookin like a snack.

I would lie if I said the first thing I thought when I read this ask was “I guess we’re talking chicken wings”, tbh

Anon said:Fran, I love your sketch of Yuuto!! :3 Do you ship anyone from yowapeda?

Thank you!!! And I guess I ship more or less anything with a vague canon basis? Which is, like, a whole damn lot of things thank you Watanabe for your gay biking children - I’m not particularly invested into anything at the moment, tho!

Anon said:Whenever I'm having a shitty day, I come back to your blog and scroll through it, the way you draw krbk is really sweet and gives me the warmth I need when I feel down. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art, you're amazing.

Sob thank you so much, oh my god! This is such a nice ask to get, I’m glad I can help you feel a lil bit better, anon ;^;

Anon said:Fran your iida is real real cute and I'm love

THANK YOU! I think he’s way less square than he’s supposed to be... I’m working on that lol

Anon said:KIRI'S PINEAPPLE HAIR??? SAVED ME. MY HEART IS SAVED. SOUL?? SAVED. LIFE??? SAVED.

I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED THAT!!!!!

Anon said:that drawing of hawks ended my life oh my goddddd he's bEAUTIFUL

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Tbh I thought of Hawk teaching Tokoyami how to fly with his quirk like a bird would, but birds just fricken shove their kids out of the nest.

At this point I wouldn’t even put that past Hawks, t b h

Anon said:I love all your art and I only recently discovered all of your old kirikamibaku stuff and was wondering if you'd consider drawing it again?

YEP! Not in the near future tho, as explained in the answer to the first ask up here!

Anon said:For your fusion au do you have any of the dances figured out yet?

Only the KiriBaku one, which is just hand holding - the AU was never meant to be more than just the designs tho, so I can’t say I spent too long on this sorta things!

Anon said:Your art is so nice and beautiful that you could probably draw any two characters together and say it's a ship and I would just accept it without question like "You right omg how have I not noticed this befORE IT'S GENIUS" and it could literally even be two rocks. Not even characters. Just rocks. Bless you

THANK YOU this is!!!!!!!! such a cool feeling omg so much power to have.......... I’m gonna need to use it wisely (I say, but the first thing I thought when I read the two rocks thing was “I did draw Kiri and Tetsu in the past!” so I guess wise isn’t a thing I am at all lol)

Anon said:I’m sure you get asked this a lot but is it okay if I post some art of yours on amino? (With credits to you of course)

Nope, sorry! I don’t allow reposts with or without credit, please don’t repost my stuff - if you really wanna share you can just drop a link to the original post~

Anon said:Can I repost your art in my Instagram page with credit please ?

Anon said:Can i repost your art with credit ?

Again, sorry but I’d prefer it if you did not do that!

Anon said:Hello! Opinions on iida x deku x todoroki? I love ur art sm and ur latest thing(which inspired this ask haha) hope ur having a nice day!

Love it!!! It’s one of my main ot3s in bnha!!!! And thank you!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Can you draw more Bakugo with glasses?? I love my goth/jock/nerd son. (I also love your art btw :'D💕)

Thank you!!! And I can! And most probably will!!! Can’t say how soon that’s gonna be, tho!

Anon said:was the art of bakugou doing kirishima's hand pose/stance based off of the official card game or was that a super happy coincidence? :'D

Seeing as I posted the comic weeks before the card came out, I’d say it was a coincidence haha that said! In the card Bakugou isn’t actually doing Kiri’s pose! He’s doing his own, which is adorably similar to Kirishima’s - one closed hand against an open palm as he lats out an explosion, you see him take the stance as he gets ready to fight now and again in the manga and anime! 

Anon said:Psst, you got that Bakukamikiri?

Sadly, not at the moment :( as I said, maybe in the future~

Anon said:I love your art more than anything and your Kiribaku keeps me alive, especially now it's finals week. Also your Kaminari is a beautiful boy who deserves all my love. I have to ask for more of him. I love you omg!!!! Please never stop drawing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

More Kaminari is coming your way! Definitely! Since I draw him a lot all things considered and you therefor you don’t really need to ask to see more of him haha

[edsrich]

A Moment (Richie/Eddie)

Summary: In which Richie and Eddie are both flustered by a moment that was rudely interrupted.

Prompt 86: “Have you seen- oh”

Prompt 42: “I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?”

A/N: Thankyou to who requested this!! This is so hard not to make sexual as the request specifically asked for them to be in the middle of a ‘moment’ like a make out and they’re walked in on. Please don’t think I’m trying to sexualise the kiddos in any way shape or form because that is not my intention. ALSO, they’re 15 in this fic!! I’m this age and people at my age are doing MUCH worse than making out so please keep your argument about me sexualising them to yourselves bC TEENAGERS MAKE OUT, TEENAGERS DO A LOT OF BA D THINGS

“Eds, hey- Eds.”

Eddie grumbled, pulling the sheets over his head to block out the voice of Richie Tozier.

“Eds, c’mon. Get up.”

“Fuck off Richie. Don’t call me that.” Eddie hissed, staying under the sheets and attempting to fall back into a peaceful slumber.

Richie frowned, his head tilted with his glasses falling down his nose. He lifted a single finger up and pushed them up, leaving yet again another fingerprint against his dirtied lenses. His imprint smudges the sight in once light, but Richie barely notices.

“No one is fucking here, I think Bill and Stan left.” Richie pestered on, grabbing Eddie’s shoulder and shaking it heavily.

Eddie frowned, eyes slowly sliding open and a groan of frustration leaves Eddie’s lips and he sits up, glaring daggers at Richie with fresh tears of waking up abruptly on his waterline.

“Richie, you fucking asshole. That is what you wake me up for?”

“Well, I woke up alone and I didn’t want to be alone. Why is that a problem?”

“I barely sleep as it is, Richie! You just fucking broke me from an actual good sleep!” Eddie cried, anger pulsing through his veins before he quickly calms down, grabbing his hair strands as he places his head in his hands.

Richie couldn’t help but feel guilt for his own selfish actions, sighing quietly and awkwardly patting at his bare thigh as he only wore underwear and a random band tee, as always, to sleep.

“Eds, I’m sorry.” Richie sat down, climbing onto the mattress next to Eddie.

Eddie was silent for a moment before speaking up, “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to totally freak out.” Eddie too let the nickname slide, as he played with the edged trim of the blanket that covered his own bare legs. 

Silence pierced the thin air of Bill’s room, as the two sat in silence next to each other with their elbows grazing one another. Richie sucked in his bottom lip, and shuddered as he wasn’t covered by Eddie’s bedding and was exposed to the late September air.

“Why don’t you sleep good, Eds?” Richie questioned, with his head tilted and looking towards Eddie.

Eddie nibbled at the skin that peeled from his lower lip, rubbing his hands together and he shrugged.

“I..I guess it’s just nightmares? They’re weird. Like, fuck.” Lies. Total fucking lies.

“What are they like?” Richie watched the way his hands moved and jittered, which was a sign he was lying as well as the lip biting.

“Well,” Eddie started, before trying to find his words as if thinking through everything he was about to say and how he would say it, “Um, just stuff like me getting sick. Shit like that.”

Richie thought about how long he had to think about his supposed ‘nightmares’ and his response to his question. Richie nodded, not pressuring the boy any further.

Eddie gulped as he thought of the real reason, one of his slight fears that often triggered his anxiety late at night. His sexuality. See, Eddie was still curious and testing the waters with himself; not knowing if he was into girls or into guys or both. That wasn’t the problem though, his problem was his Mother. His mother would possibly think that Eddie would be screwed up mentally and have many mental illnesses if he told his Mother that he liked guys in any way shape or form. He’d never get a break and he’d never be allowed to have sleepovers like this or even be allowed to talk another male ever again.

Eddie cringed as the thoughts came back to him, quickly trying to shake them away by focusing upon Richie. 

“So, how was your night? Sleeping, I mean.”

“Oh, I sleep like a fucking rock.” Richie chuckles, his shoulders moving as he chuckles. 

“How is sleeping like a rock a good thing?” Eddie tilts his head, looking to Richie, “Rocks are hard, it must be hard to sleep.”

Richie smirks, “Maybe that’s because I am hard most of the time.”

Eddie is confused for a moment before realisation hits him forcefully and he groans with a blush spreading over his cheeks, “Fuck off, Richie. You know what I meant.”

“Especially morning wood, oh boy, let me tell you-”

Eddie clamps a hand over Richie’s mouth before he gets more flustered than he already is. Eddie’s eyes are wide, staring into Richie’s without blinking. Richie can’t help but notice how the two boys were as close as ever, with Eddie obviously blushing like a tomato. Richie felt his smirk grow even more under Eddie’s palm and he wiggled his eyebrows at the crimson boy.

Eddie felt the movements under his palm, staring into Richie’s large eyes due to his spectacles, before sighing in annoyance.

“Seriously, Richie? Your lenses are jacked up.” Eddie removes his hand before taking Richie’s glasses off slowly and carefully.

Richie was too slow to protest, feeling his own face heat up as his whole face was no longer hidden by his coke bottle glasses which covered a lot of his insecurities up.  Richie felt exposed in a weird way, not being able to see Eddie properly but Eddie being able to see every pore and flaw that laid upon Richie’s face. 

Eddie breathed hot air onto both lenses, using his own shirt to wipe away each of the finger prints and splashes from substances that had stained the lenses.

Richie watched with blind eyes, barely being able to tell what he was doing for him. His eyes were squinted and his head tilted forward and staring directly at the hazed actions.

Finally, Eddie was done and he lifted them up delicately, placing them back on Richie’s face with a small and soft grin. 

“Be more clean, asshole. Isn’t that much better?” Eddie folded his arms over smugly.

Richie blinked and pushed them up higher on his nose, this time with the small space between the lenses and not smudging them like he usually does. He could see much clear, being able to see the soft sun rays peak through the curtains and shining on Eddie’s baby face. He admired everything in that moment, how one eye of his was squinting due to the orange-y hue that blinded one of his eyes from seeing Richie properly and the other remaining soft and bambi like. How Eddie’s right corner of his lips was arched higher than the other and how his usually neatened chocolate strands were in fact out of place and going in every direction.

Richie couldn’t help himself, he really couldn’t. The moment before him couldn’t be more flawless.

Really? You’re gonna do this now? Now-

Richie’s thoughts were cut off by his actions as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Eddie’s.

Eddie’s smug look was wiped away in a split second, his eyes widening as he stared at Richie’s closed pair of eyes with shock and in awe. Eddie had both of his hands raised at the side of Richie’s face in shock which soon, he melted. He melted perfectly against Richie and his hands fell onto his cheeks, feeling Richie’s heated skin beneath his clammy palms. 

Richie felt his hands snake around Eddie’s waist, pulling him onto his lap for a better position in the kiss. Richie, being much more confident than Eddie in the whole ‘first kiss’ scenario as Eddie was of course, oblivious on how to kiss.

The two newly found 15 year old boys, had their arms all over each other with their lips smearing against the other pair that battled for dominance in the kiss. Richie ran his tongue across Eddie’s bottom lip for a silent ask for permission, knowing his boundaries due to Eddie’s phobia of anything to do with germs or sickness’. Eddie hesitated, before opening his lips to allow Richie swirl his tongue inside in perfect sync with Eddie’s. Richie was soft, comfortable and caring for Eddie, making sure to not cross any lines that would make Eddie be disgusted or revolted in any way.

Eddie then pushes Richie forward. At first, this caused Richie to think that he did somehow cross the line but instead- he was pushed on his back and Eddie was sitting on his lower stomach.

Richie stared up at Eddie with soft eyes as well as a smirk. “I always thought you’d be a bottom, Eds.” 

Eddie’s chest burned bright as his blush had spread all over. “Shut up, asshole. I don’t like it when you call me that.”

But oh, how they both knew that what Eddie had said was a lie.

Eddie then leaned down, his lips colliding with Richie’s again, tasting the same blackberry bubblegum that lingered on Richie’s set of lips from the previous night whilst his own tasted of mint. His legs begun shaking lightly from the intense makeout session that was happening currently, only for Richie to place his hand on the back of Eddie’s thigh to soothe him.

“Hey have you seen- oh.”

Eddie flung himself away from Richie and Richie fell off the mattress head first with a grunt of pain leaving past his pink and swollen lips. Eddie pressed his back against the wall, tidying his messy hair and trying to cover his own flustered blush that had been permanently tattooed onto his cheeks.

Both saw Stan, stood there, with a water gun in his hands and his own face heating up in embarrassment from walking in on a situation which could’ve went anywhere if he had not walked in. Stan gulped audibly and looked elsewhere.

“I’d like to talk to you when you have your pants on, okay?”

The two boys looked at each other in horror and realised how the situation must look to someone like Stan who just walked in on the two boys pantless and in their underwear with Eddie sitting on top of Richie in a heated makeout.

“No Stan it’s not-”

Stan had already walked off, without letting Richie finish his sentence.

Eddie quickly reached for his inhaler which was kept under his pillow, taking a few quick puffs from anxiety racing under his skin. Richie looked over worryingly before sighing.

“Look, don’t worry. Lets just get dressed and go talk to him, kay’?”

Despite Richie’s comforting words, Eddie couldn’t help but feel his fear of his sexuality raise higher and higher. He pushed it back as both him and Richie dressed themselves in their usual attire for the day.

Both boys, once done changing, looked at eachother with soft eyes and Richie then offered his hand out to Eddie and tilting his head as if he was mentally asking, ‘Are you okay?’

Eddie nodded, reaching his own out and grabbing Richie’s for comfort. Richie then walked forward and guided his soon to be boyfriend out of Bill’s empty bedroom.

[starlight-parkers]

Insecure (Peter Parker x Reader)

Authors note: this was requested by the lovley @signethatsmelol, also I hate myself bc I turned my precious babies against each other for the sake of fiction

Warning(s): some swearing, violence, angst BUT DW BC FLUFF AT THE END

Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Maybe it was the unusual silence of the school halls after class or the fact that Peter hadn’t come to find you but something was definitely up.

You frowned as you made your way to your locker, your boyfriend of a year nowhere to be seen.  Opening it up, you loaded in your calculus textbook and a few other things before heading your academic decathlon club. You often found yourself looking forward to your team meets as you’d get to spend more time with your boyfriend, Peter and best friend, Flash.

You’d actually met Peter through Flash, when you’d first joined Midtown high. Flash had been your ‘tour’ guide as such, and he was extremely sweet towards you, he’d made you feel comfortable with the move to a new high school and even invited you to the team’s first meet of the year, although he was very flirtatious and you weren’t into that. Peter had joined the meet a little later than it had started because of his Stark internship and it was pretty much love at first sight from then on.

You’d grown to love his little stammer every time he talked to you, and that blush that spread from his cheeks to his neck every time you held his hand in public. You could even say you loved Peter Parker . That’s why you were so worried when he hadn’t come to meet you, the pair of you were inseparable so you knew something was wrong.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as your friend Michelle came running towards you, panic etched across her features. “Michelle?” You asked, turning from your locker to face her, concern stitched into your voice. She was hunched over, hands gripping  her knees as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I-it’s Peter” she began, drawing herself upwards. “He’s gotten into another fight”

Your eyes widened as she spoken, you slammed your locker shut as the curly haired girl lead you towards the fight. Within a matter of minutes, you found yourself behind a large gathering of people, formed into a circle. People were cheering and filming the ordeal. Hurriedly, you pushed your way through the bands of people, trying to get a better look at the scene.

“Excuse me, sorry. Pardon me”

What you saw after weaving your way through the crowds made your heart drop. Your friend, Flash and your boyfriend Peter.

They were currently standing opposite each other, faces swollen and bruised. Flash had clearly gotten the brute end of it, and looked like he was on his last legs. Peter on the other hand looked significantly less injured and you knew in that moment he had been the one to start the fight. You knew Flash had picked on Peter, that’s what made it hard to maintain your friendship with him but you never thought Peter would lash out on him like this.

“Say that again, I dare you” you heard Peter spit, bouncing his fist up and down menacingly. Through the pain, you could see Flash draw his lips into a cruel smirk.

“She doesn’t want you, she never has. She’s only with you to get back at me”

That was all it took for Peter to launch himself at Flash, you covered your eyes and bit your now quivering lip, as you heard the pair’s grunts of pain. You knew know that this wasn’t some stupid spat between boys.

This was about you.

Opening your eyes, you rushed out into the circle, the cheers from the crowd only sky rocketing. At this point, both boys were at either side of the circle, you rushed between them in an attempt to stop the violence. “Stop it!” You yelled breathlessly, looking between them. “Just stop it! You’re hurting each other!”

Both boys fixed their posture before looking at you. You stared Peter down, meeting his gaze with a confused look, you could see the guilt swirling in his eyes. Your attention was stolen, when Flash begun to speak up. “Get outta the way (Y/N), I gotta let this punk have it”

“Don’t talk to her like that” Peter seethed back. You shook your head, begging yourself not to cry as the two boys you cared about glared and growled at each other. You could see that Peter was tired and could tell that he was feeling guilty.

“Leave it Flash” you called out as he tried to advance. You turned to your boyfriend and grabbed him then by the wrist trying to get him out of there. You pulled him into a guest toilet and locked the door behind you. You sat him down on the lid of the toilet,  grabbing some tissue and running it under some cold water before pressing the compress to his bruised knuckles.

“What the fuck was that Peter?” You said, as you worked in silence. Peter could only watch as you moved about, making more compresses for his cuts before they bruised.

“I’m sorry” the brunette boy whispered, not meeting your eyes as you inspected his face. You paused, looking into his chocolatey orbs, anger swirling in them.

“You’re sorry?!” You yelled, your calm facade breaking down. This wasn’t the first time Peter had gotten into a fight over you, in fact, they’d been happening a lot more recently. You’ve never mentioned it to him before, at first you thought he was being over protective, but now you could tell it was much more serious. “Sorry doesn’t cut it Peter! Do you know how many times I’ve had to pull you out of these situations? Do you know how many times I’ve had to save your ass from being beaten into the ground? Do you know how much that scares me? I don’t know what’s going on with you Peter but you need to sort this out.”

Your boyfriend flinched at every word you spoke, as if he was being

sprayed by acid. He knew what you were saying was true, but he couldn’t help it.

“Peter, I love you!” You cried out, as he gazed at you intently. “But you can’t keep fighting people over me! Flash is one of my best friends, and to see you both almost kill each other out there breaks my heart! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if it keeps happening, I don’t know if I can stay”

This time, Peter’s head snapped up, looking you directly in the eyes. “W-what are you - are you saying?” he whispered, voice low and uneven. He was standing now, and you could see his body shaking.

“I’m saying that maybe…” you sighed, backing away from Peter. “We should…take a break?”

“No!“Peter practically screamed, his voice cracking as he did so.

In the dim light of the bathroom, you could see his eyes glaze over as his body begun to shake. “P-please”

“Peter…”

“I meant it when I said I was sorry” he tried, his voice betraying him. “I don’t know what came over me, F-flash was just saying these awful things about you, a-about us and I began to doubt myself”

You neared your sobbing boyfriend, immediately feeling guilting for suggesting that you end things. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his head down to rest on your shoulder as he cried. “T-they say I don’t deserve you, all the guys. T-they say you’re too good for me… and it’s true”.

You stroked his hair softly as he let out his emotions. You never knew that he’d felt this way, that this could have ever been the reason for his outbreak. That Peter Parker was insecure.

“Baby no” you whispered but he didn’t stop there.

“You’re the kindest and sweetest soul and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. You’ve been with me through everything and I-I’m just… Peter” he hiccuped, pulling away from you with bleary eyes. “P-please don’t leave me, you’re everything I have”

“Peter…” you sighed, holding him close until he’d calmed down. “I-I’ll never leave you, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry”. You clung to him, trying to tell him that you were there and that you weren’t ever going to let go, you cursed yourself for being such a terrible girlfriend. When you both pulled away, you looked up at Peter, feeling his love for you radiate off of his body. You stood on your tip toes and slowly pressed your lips to his, the taste of his cherry lip balm invading your tongue. His warm and familiar hands snaked their way around your waste, pulling you closer to him. You gripped the collar of his plaid shirt from under his jumper and tugged him towards you, wanting to be as close to him  as possible, wanting him to feel the love you had for him. All of Peter’s insecurities melted away in that moment, he knew that you would never leave him, he knew that you loved him and that none of the other guys meant anything to you, not even Flash.

When you’d both come up for air, a small smile graced your lips. Peter returned your smile, going to bury his head in the crook of your neck again. “I’m so in love with you” he whispered against the  skin of your neck.

“I love you too Pete”

You both stood in silence, holding each other, the only sounds being made were your giggles as Peter pressed kisses to your neck. “I really am sorry about Flash though, I know how much he means to you” Peter spoke, after a few moments.

You rolled your eyes, before ruffling Peter’s hair. “He was an asshole anyways, you’re all that I care about”

You both laughed before you pressed a quick kiss to Peter’s lips, making him blush. “Now we should probably get out of here before people think we’re up to something” you winked at him playfully , as he shook his head at your antics.

Peter only let out a laugh as you pulled away to unlock  the door. You  grinned back at him, admiring his smile, and the way it reached his eyes. You really loved Peter and god help anyone that tried to make your baby insecure again.