#This is not a reasonable emotionally regulated person

[tacosaysroar]

You guys.

Dolores sent me some notes from a trade show session she attended so I could use them to write a blog post for our website. The notes were taken by AI, and apparently she forgot to shut it off as soon as the session was over because it transcribed a very personal conversation.

This includes some details about practical jokes played on other groups, some light conversation about drinking, nothing super inappropriate, but then — and I don’t know if it’s her or someone she’s with — a story about how one of the sales people (who they name) took off all their clothes last year in the ice bar in Vegas AND SHE SENT THESE NOTES TO ME WITHOUT REALIZING ANY OF THAT WAS IN THERE.

I’m absolutely DYING, but also I . . . don’t know what to do?

Do I tell her?

Do I pretend I didn’t notice?

[harbours-lighthouse]

𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 .☘︎ ݁˖

This man will drive you up the wall—particularly in the beginning of the relationship.

He’s not good at communication, considering that that was never present in his life before he died and after he came back to life. 

That being said, I do think he, in some sort of subconscious way, is aware that there’s no communication. 

He’s somehow balancing on the thin line of being overly emotional and emotionally unavailable (hence, he drives you up the wall). 

When you first start dating, it’s hesitant. Slow and uncertain. There are many incidents where Jason, in all of his emotional maturity, believes that you must hate him. So he stops texting you. No longer calls. Never visits. And you’re left waiting, tearing yourself up every night wondering where he is, what you’ve done, and what’s going to happen. 

And each time, he comes back (a bit like a stray cat), and he asks if you can try again. 

Continuously, you have to remind him that there’s no reason for you to hate him—however, if he keeps leaving you like that, then there won’t be any more ‘trying again’. 

That kicked him into gear a bit, and made him realise that you’re not going to let his insecurities ruin you, but you don’t want them to ruin him either. You’re there for him, and you don’t hate him for the things he does, or what he has done. 

Again, a bit like a skittish stray cat, he starts warming up to the idea that you’re fully accepting of him (though his doubt lingers). 

As your relationship progresses, the more he begins to regulate his moods and emotions. That being said, his issues with Bruce and the rest of the vigilantes easily tip him over the edge, and he’s said many things in anger to you that have resulted in tears and strangled apologies. 

But things do get better, though it takes time, quite a bit of reassurance, and…possibly a nudge to therapy.

To clarify, however, getting Jason into therapy would be one of the most difficult achievements of your life, but insanely worth it. The conversation would open up painfully, and you’d lay it out plainly for him: he needs help in ways that you can’t provide, and if he’s not willing to put in the effort, the relationship will fall apart. 

This man, despite all his flaws, knows that he loves you. So he does it, but it’s never with himself in mind, but you instead. 

That never changes, unfortunately. 

Now this might seem a little depressing (he’s a depressing character), there is a lot of good in your relationship still, which is why it works out in the first place. 

You’re kind, smart, beautiful, lovely in a unique manner that can only be attributed to you—but you’re fiercely aware of your boundaries, which in the long run, helps heal Jason. 

Through you, Jason learns about the consequences of his actions, learns that not everything that’s good in his life will be ripped out from beneath him. He learns that those who want to stay will stay. He learns through you that he won’t taint everything with his past and his struggles, and through you he begins to see his own strengths, rather than continuing to tunnel vision on everything that’s ‘wrong’ with him. 

In terms of how well the rest of the Bats will know you, it would depend on the person themselves. Jason will do everything in his power to keep you away from Bruce, that’s for certain, but he might not have a choice when it comes down to Dick, Babs, Steph, maybe even Duke, and Damian and Tim will meet you on a whim (you love them, though they’re all really weird).

And after the trials and tribulations of the relationship, the both of you know each other like the back of your hands. You’re as familiar to Jason as the backwater laneways of Gotham are, and you could recite everything that you know about Jason in your sleep. There’s no stone unturned, no flaw unexposed, no secrets kept hidden. 

You’re Jason’s favourite person, and if the effort he puts into keeping you by his side doesn’t make that obvious, I don’t know what will. 

[reallyneedsalife]

As I am currently reading the novelisation of the 2009 Star Trek, I've decided to note down some of my favourite parts / interesting bits / funny moments.

George Kirk actually realises that Ayel is a Romulan before Captain Robau even leaves the Kelvin

They actually say that Jim has brown eyes, despite the fact that in the films he Very Definitely Doesn't

Amanda tells Sarek (metaphorically) where to stick it and its hilarious

When Sarek tells Spock he is to choose his own destiny, Spock goes (internally), "but im eleven"

Jim teases cupcake in the bar scene further by asking if he's into him and then asking if they beam those uniforms right onto them because "they're so form fitting"

Jim speaks Orion Prime

He also considers Pike to be his mentor, explicitly rather than the implied route the movies took

Jim calls Spock "Commander Spork" by mistake during his trial

Jim also genuinely has a breakdown in the trial at the idea of being kicked out of Starfleet, and then proceeds to have another when he hears he's on Academic Probation.

Here, Chekov doesn't run down to the transporter room to catch Sulu and Jim. Instead him and Uhura work together on the bridge to catch them in time

Amanda Grayson's last words are "It's okay, to be scared"

Spock estimates that no more than 10,000 vulcans survive the planets destruction

Kirk helps in medical central, and Spock notices him taking care of a young vulcan girl

Doctor McCoy says "Damn it man I'm a doctor, not a physicist" which is nice, since it doesn't happen as often in the AOS films vs TOS

Spock makes a point that despite him and Jim both losing a parent to Nero, they cannot have a personal vendetta against him for the sake of the crew

Jim brings up Spock being emotionally compromised before meeting Spock-Prime, citing the regulations. Spock sees this as an attempt at mutiny and - recognising that Jim will just escape if he is put in the brig - lobs him off the ship like he does in the film

The bug(?) Nero implants in Pike is not intended to torture him, but instead works as a truth serum in some thinly veiled way. Nero actually gives Pike anaesthesia to prevent him being in pain while the bug makes its way to his spinal cord, so torture is definitively not his goal

Keenser talks, and has actual lines (though not many)

As Nero and his crew wonder at the amount of water on Earth, one of the romulan crew ask why it is called Earth and not Water

Ayel actually asks Nero, on behalf of the crew, to stop before they attack Earth and go home to Romulous. Nero murders him in response.

the in-universe reason why Pike has a head of grey hair is the trauma from the events

Kirk gets a commendation for original thinking

Kirk has to actively try not to laugh when Spock submits his application for First Officer in the middle of the bridge

The book closes with Admiral Archer's beagle being beamed onto the ship

[astrobydalia]

Numerology observations

I've genuinely learned a lot from @novy2sirius when it comes to numerology so much so that it has helped me make so much sense out of many experience in my life. Therefore I wanted to share some numerology observations with all of you.

astrobydalia

People with 9 energy are so deceitful, they are easily seen as innocent. On the contrary people can see 9s as someone pretty suspicious because they have an air of mystery to them and are the kind of person who you think you know but actually you don't like at all. They always hide the most BIZARRE shit, I'm telling you their life is SO weird. This is how I see 9 people tbh lmao

I've never met a 11 life path person that was emotionally okay, but the weird thing is that they tend to want to lie to themselves and pretend they are okay all the time. All the ones that've met had diagnosed depression and spent big chunks of their lives in very VERY low lows like it's truly hard to watch. Also, random note but I've seen that they are secretly very resentful too and have a hard time letting go of things and moving on. Most of the 11 people I've met had Earth Moon or strong Saturn influence in their moon

Also, I met a 11 guy once who would often say "I have no doubt in my mind that I will be famous" lol (11 is rated to fame)

22 is a more chill number. I've seen more developed 22s than developed 11s. 22 people are very mature and level-headed, tend to have very balanced mindset for most things. However they tend to think they're the only ones who know best, they give good advice but suck at taking any.

So one of the things Novy said is that the date you meet someone in will be a significant energy in the relationship you have with them. Every person I've met on a 5 day are people I travel a lot with or people I've had long-distance relationships with (5 is related travel)

I don't have much experience with 2 energy but from what I've seen it is pretty mellow energy. The people with 2 energy are pretty harmless individuals even when they have other intense energies going on

I get along with 7 life path people cause I'm a 5 but something I've noticed about these people is that they really do struggle making genuine connections "from the heart" if that makes sense. They always rationalize getting in and out of a relationship giving more importance to practical/beneficial reasons rather than emotional ones. When they do try to follow their heart they fail miserably cause they confuse making decisions from their heart with total recklessness

Life path 1 people are so.... immature. And have very obvious anger issues. They have the patience and emotional regulation of a toddler, really do embody the Aries stereotype. At their worst they can be pretty intolerant towards other's pov. Yeah life path 1 is very passionate and driven and all and I do get along with them but I also tend to keep at arms length a little cause they're energy is very chaotic and destructive tbh

Let me tell you too that unhealthy life path 1 people are one of the most CRUEL and mean people I've ever seen like... it's giving blood lust (not literally but you know what I mean)

Life path 6 can indeed be caring and generous but I've met a lot of them who are actually very selfish, greedy and materialistic. It's like they see life mostly through the lens of material gain. They literally remind me of this clip fr.

I have good experience with 6 people tho. My manager for example is a 6 life path and I literally don't know what I'd do without him, he's so patient, always there when I need him and is always on my side even when I mess up. 6 people are also very good at setting healthy boundaries too

A lot of the life path 6 I've met had taurus placements or where earth doms astrologically

The number I struggle getting along with the most is 4 tbh. They are huge party poppers even when they're healthy and have more need for control than 8s imo. A lot of 4 people I know are the type to rain on your parade for no reason in the name of being "realistic" but really they're just being bitter imo. I know 4 people have a hard life but I've noticed they tend to often have this attitude of "if I couldn't be happy then you can't either"

What I've noticed with 8 people is that yes they can be controlling but it's not like they go around policing others like 4s do. 8s control in a very subtle and indirect way, it really reminds me a lot of scorpio energy/8th house placements. It's more like they keep in control in any situation by staying low-key and are the kind of people that is hard to knock down, yet they know how to get under other's skin

I'd describe 8s as more domineering. They can be pretty chill, fun and won't mess with anyone as long as they feel like they have the upper hand in situations. That's why they are stubborn af and refuse to be wrong and why they do not react well AT ALL to animosity. This also means that at their worst tend to have HUGE superiority complex and will minimize others and be condescending just to feel superior

One time I witnessed an argument between a 1 and an 8 (it was messy) and even tho the 8 person was wrong imo they made the 1 person back down eventually (which, if you know how 1s are, that's a huge thing) and from that experience I learned that you're better off disagreeing with a 1 than disagreeing with an 8

People with 3 energy have such a refreshing energy I love them!!!! The type to keep a young spirit regardless of their age but like in a good way. Their sense of hope and optimism can't be crushed, all the ones I've met were the kind of people who always knew how to bounce back from difficult situations.

astrobydalia

[topazadine]

Avoiding therapy speak in writing

I think we all know by now that therapy speak is irritating and unrealistic, especially if you are writing in a fantasy world that doesn't even have modern psychology.

Part of the reason that it is so annoying is that it is the definition of telling instead of showing: characters are just plainly informing us of their feelings rather than making us work for a better understanding. It's cheap and boring. Instead of making your characters seem like complex individuals with their own hangups and difficulties, they seem like plot points programmed to tell us things.

But obviously, you want to put these people in situations and have them talk about it! How do you do that without sounding maudlin? Here are some options.

Listen to real arguments/conversations

I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to how actual real human beings talk to each other during heightened emotional states. They don't have to be nasty abusers, and they don't have to be perfect angels, just everyday people doing their normal thing.

Of course, I'd hope you're not seeing people argue all the time, but if you do happen to see it, listen carefully and notice how people actually address their problems. Think back to tough conversations that you have had, even if you wouldn't classify them as arguments. Consider how people acted and reacted to one another. Notice how normal humans talk about issues outside of therapy, even intelligent and emotionally evolved people.

I've had years of therapy, and even I do not talk in therapy ways about my issues when I'm talking to my family or friends. It just feels cheesy and fake outside of that particular setting - plus, it freaks other people out and can seem kind of manipulative. Try talking like that in a real conversation and see how uncomfortable it is. You'll understand why avoiding therapy speak is important.

Consider the character's own hangups

Just as everyone has their own unique speaking style and mindset, so do we all have our own argument styles. These are often informed by our pasts and upbringing; they are as varied as our own histories. However, there are a few different options.

Someone with a happy upbringing may be more assertive and willing to address their problems because they had that demonstrated to them as children.

A spoiled child will grow up to be a demanding adult who refuses to give any quarter.

Those who got yelled at a lot as children may shut down and fawn to avoid getting hurt.

Someone who grew up in a violent household may mimic that behavior and get incredibly aggressive when upset.

Individuals whose parents didn't teach them emotional regulation will lash out and get loud.

Manipulative people may stay very calm and gaslight the other person, or they may get hysterical to garner sympathy and make people focus on comforting them.

Someone who has gone to therapy may revert to their original argument style, or they may imperfectly apply what they have learned in a way that feels a bit unnatural. They may start out with rage, then force themselves to calm down through grounding techniques.

People who have been coached through previous emotional outbursts could demand a time out, then fail to actually calm themselves down.

Some may refuse to acknowledge they are upset and insist, in increasingly forceful terms, that they are fine.

Others may get quiet or crack a joke to ease the tension, but it doesn't really help.

Keep each confrontation short

IRL, emotional confrontations are generally not that long. They don't go on for hours and hours, though it can feel that way. No one is going on and on about their feelings and sharing every little detail of how they feel (at least not that I know of personally, maybe other people are different).

Even the worst arguments I have had, the real nexus of the argument was maybe an hour or two, though the fallout lasted much longer. I'd say there was an hour maximum of real, active confrontation, preceded or followed by hours/days/weeks of simmering frustration.

Why? Because arguments are exhausting. You don't have the energy for that in the heat of the moment. Yes, feuds and fights can last years, but each actual confrontation is short.

For longer, more serious issues, hash it out over a few sessions rather than all at once. It's rare to get everything out of the way immediately unless the characters already have a strong, loving relationship.

Show incongruencies

Especially for more reserved people, they will likely have their emotions leaking all over the place but won't actually say anything. As such, focus on body language while keeping the conversation more focused on the plot. For example, Character A might be crying but still trying to argue their point about whatever is going on.

Address physical complaints instead of emotional ones

In many cases, people will use "I'm tired" or "I didn't sleep well" or "I'm not feeling great" as shorthand for whatever is actually bothering them. It relieves pressure by not making them talk about upsetting matters while still addressing their discomfort in some form.

You should also consider the fact that some people can't connect physical sensations to feelings, so they may genuinely feel ill and not really understand why. This is especially common in people who can't emotionally regulate or have been through trauma.

For myself, I tend to somatize my feelings, so I might not feel upset, but I will feel physically sick. My stomach will hurt, my chest will get tight, or I'll get a headache, but my emotional state will seem calm. This isn't all that unusual, and many people experience this to different degrees.

As such, you can have your character say that their stomach hurts, or that they have a headache and can't discuss this anymore, or that they need to go lie down because they're dizzy. If we know they're relatively healthy, this can be a clue that they're getting overwhelmed but either cannot pinpoint their emotions or don't want to discuss them.

Let characters advance and retreat

A lot of the time, someone will address a scary emotion and then retreat again, sometimes over a period of hours, days, or even weeks. This is normal: most of us don't have the emotional fortitude to forge ahead through something difficult all in one go. Character A may say something vulnerable, then change the topic, laugh it off, say they're done discussing it, or even leave the situation.

Leave emotions partially unaddressed

Again, it's rare for someone to spill out everything they're feeling all in one go. As such, have Character A address the most important thing - or the least important, depending on their level of emotional maturity - and let it be done for then.

They might say their small piece, but when someone tries to probe deeper, they don't have an answer, or they get "stuck" on that one emotional level and cannot go further.

If Character B keeps pushing, then they may get incredibly upset and push back, or retreat.

Have Character B point out the feelings

Works especially well if the other character is a close companion or a parental figure. Often, people who know us really well will have better insight into our emotions than we do. Or, we might have good insight into our emotions but are still too afraid to open up. Having Character B point out the issue gives Character A grace to be more honest.

I can't tell you how many times I've been really upset, so I've distracted from the issue by getting angry about something completely different. Then, my mom will gently point out that I'm not actually crying about my new plastic cup being broken or whatever; I'm actually upset about XYZ. In that moment, I realize I've been caught out and admit that yes, that's what I'm really upset about.

Have Character A address it with a third character

Who among us hasn't gone to someone else to talk about our feelings? Having a third party serve as a sounding board is normal. Sometimes, Character A will feel such catharsis from this conversation that they don't address it as thoroughly with Character B.

Of course, you can use this to your advantage and create more tension if the third character gives bad advice or is biased.

Remember that just because the third party responded well does not mean that Character B does. You also have to avoid omniscience and remember that Character B wasn't privy to that conversation.

Have one confrontation be a stand-in for a larger one

I always think about the "The Iranian Yogurt Is Not the Issue" post when I think about this. Often times, things like not doing the dishes or whatever aren't actually the big deal: it's lack of boundaries, communication, or respect. A minor argument can be shorthand for a larger one that is too challenging for the characters to tackle.

This isn't just creating drama for the hell of it, though; it's about exploring the larger issues without making the characters lay it out on the table. A good reader will be able to see it's not about the Iranian Yogurt as long as you set up the relationship well.

Currently, I am writing a story where Uileac and his sister Cerie go to rescue Uileac's husband, Orrinir. On the way there, Uileac idly comments on how he wonders where a waterfall comes from because he's trying to distract himself from thinking about the fact that his husband is kidnapped and possibly dead.

Cerie, being pretty wound up too, starts arguing with him about it because she's like "why is this relevant? We're kind of too busy to think about geology right now!" Uileac gets annoyed at her for being so aggro, and she gets annoyed at him for being so irreverent. Both of them are upset about something completely different, but they're too scared and panicked to actually address that, so they release their frustrations by complaining about waterfalls.

Those bad vibes have to go somewhere, but neither of them are very good at talking about their feelings (though very good at stuffing them down). As such, they take the pressure off by sniping at one another. You've probably done this too, when you get into a dumb argument about something absolutely pointless because there's something you don't feel strong enough to discuss.

There's also the fact that if you're mad at someone about something but feel it's too stupid or petty to discuss, that frustration will leak out and everything else they do will annoy you, leading to a bunch of irrelevant arguments.

Use "reaffirmation" gestures

I talked about this in a different post, but after an argument, the "make up" stage doesn't always involve going "ohhh I forgive you" and big hugs and kisses, especially when the two characters aren't emotionally mature.

Instead, Character A makes gestures that reaffirm the relationship. This could be offering to do something Character B needs, making plans for later, or changing the topic to discuss something the other character cares about ("how are your cats doing?") etc.

Note that these "reaffirmation" gestures aren't the same as the cycle of abuse. This is more when two characters have had a difficult emotional conversation but aren't really sure how to continue being emotionally open, so they revert to something safer that still shows they care. They're not over-the-top gestures either, but more a special attention to something the other person loves. Knowing what the other person loves also demonstrates the depth of their relationship.

As always, I can't tell you what to do with your writing.

You are the crafter of your own story, and if you want people to talk like therapists for whatever reason, that's your choice. However, we want characters to feel like real people, and most real people don't lay it all out on the table every single time they're upset. If they do, they might be trauma vomiting, which is icky in and of itself.

Healthy communication isn't always perfect communication. People can have strong, loving relationships and still get things wrong - we're human. Having people calmly and rationally and easily talk about their feelings every single time is not only kind of boring, but it also feels weird, because unless we're primed to discuss those difficult topics and know we're perfectly safe, we're not going to do that.

People don't even do that in therapy, where they are paying for the service of talking about their feelings! Therapists also don't always do that IRL!

We're humans, and your characters need to feel like humans as well. That means letting them be imperfect communicators and using context clues rather than making them do all the work for the reader.

If you liked my advice, consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning, for $3!

[randomness-is-my-order]

i feel like one of the subtler bits of wei wuxian’s characterisation that is sometimes slightly skewed is that he is actually not the jump-into-the-heat-of-battle kinda guy, rather he’s one to hang back and observe before making a very clear and decisive move. look at the xuanwu cave predicament—wei wuxian did not immediately oppose wen chao, instead he stayed put as things escalated and once he realised how futile the situation was, he enacted a plan that was neither impulsive nor self-serving, but one that was optimal to benefit the most amount of people possible. similarly, he wasn’t pushed or blinded by his anger when wang lingjao came to lotus pier. even then, at the cost of himself (which imo, was much more calculated than people give him credit for but i digress), he chose de-escalation. same goes for the appeal he made to jin guangshan about the labor camps and same goes for every single instance of wei wuxian working his nighthunting and info-gathering knowledge to use before even approaching a danger-zone/haunt.

yes, wei wuxian is incredibly powerful and is formidable in battle but he’s not some violence-loving, battle-smug individual who would try to jump into the thick of things to flaunt his fighting prowess. the moments that people refer to as wei wuxian jumping the gun—the nightless city massacre, the ambush fight, opposing wen chao—are, infact, proof of how the battle is thrust to wei wuxian instead of wei wuxian thrusting himself into a battle. i would say that maybe the only example of wei wuxian getting heated into action is when he punched jin zixuan and even jin zixuan would agree to deserving those fists. i guess the reason i bring this up is because this sort of undermines another characteristic of wei wuxian which is his impeccable emotional regulation. if he was angered by every unjust circumstance and lost his wits about him as some of the popular fanon believes, wei wuxian would’ve never gotten as far as he did. it was because of his keen sense of seeing the truth in people and situations and then adjusting his own responses that helped him save himself and the wens for as long as he did and later stand tall before the cultivation world and show them the flaws in their mob logic. he’s not an emotionless man carefully tailoring his personality to suit his needs but he’s also not a emotionally volatile person pouncing at every opportunity to talk with fists instead of words. he’s as good at verbal sparring as he is at the physical counterpart of it and it’s always a bummer when his intellectual battles are reduced in favour of portraying him a certain, canonically divergent way.

[varpusvaras]

Winnick will come this close to writing a good, rightfullly angry character with BPD/CPTSD and ruin it by making him his conception of "a dangerous psychopath" because dc's understanding of mental illness begins and ends with the joker.

I like that Jason was angry i'm not gonna lie I enjoy the "bad victim who doesn't accept that they were a necessary sacrifice, who doesn't think what happened to them is something they should be expected to tolerate, like fuck your greater good, you weren't there, it isn't worth this." I think even looking at Jason's past before getting adopted he has reason to be angry, like he is poor af and starving and he had to take care of his mom and his dad is in jail because he couldn't see another way to provide and he gets trafficked -he has so many reasons to be angry. And he's not, and I love jaybin, but I think there are so many ways and things he can be angry about without it feeling classist. And I love that he can't emotionally regulate, that he has so clearly BPD/CPTSD because why the fuck would he not, have you seen his life (and that's not even counting the csa hc, which i am because willfully and consistently implying csa and then not addressing it/denying it feels like feeding into a culture of taboo that ruins lives and getting away with covert victim-blaming at the same time). The issue is that they lack finesse or any kind of understanding of anger. The think anger is a personality trait. They think angry = evil. They think being angry means you're violent at and about everything, that you shoot indiscriminately even though you've known better since you were a kid, that you're suddenly treating women like shit (which, wtf seriously) which okay maybe THEY treat women shitty for no reason when they're angry, but that'd be more of a them problem I'd say. Their portrayal of anger is classist because their conception of emotions hasn't evolved since fucking Descartes. Think anger = bad = poor and not only doesn't it occur to them that this is classist, they so instinctively assign moral value to the concepts of poor and angry that they don't realise it and just conceptualise poor=angry and end up with incredibly classist portrayals of anger. You can write characters that are mentally ill and violent without being ableist, you can write characters that are poor and angry without being classist, but that requires a level of respect for people, introspection, humility willingness to learn about the sensitive topics you are exploring that is simply not accessible to Winnick and so many other dc writers.

And here comes my very hot take that I'm too cowardly to say off anon: the pit shouldn't have healed Jason's malnutrition. Like, outside of canon I love big jay, I love big men who are emotionally vulnerable and need comfort etc. but in canon? It just comes off as another way to adultify Jason, and make the horrible things that happen to him acceptable. Jason "sleeping with Talia because he is fucked up about Bruce" because they both look like adults until you realise this is actually just rape and you can't put any responsibility of Talia taking advantage of the kid under her care (very ooc of course) on the child himself. Jason fighting Mia looking like a 40 years old beating up a teenage girl when they're the same damn age. Fucking Ethiopia 2.0. And Jason's murders as well, for the matter. Like don't get me wrong the duffle bag of doom is an iconic villain move, but it's just that: a massive shock effect and a "psychopathic" move. We shouldn't need Jason beheading anyone to be horrified, because just one murder, if written correctly, should be enough. A child killing someone is a terrible thing. A child being put in a position where they think killing someone is the only solution to ending suffering (thinking about the Garzonas case) is a terrible thing. A kid trying to kill his murderer (because fuck his death has to matter it has to) and only begging to be allowed it should be horrifying. Jason, with his unhealed malnutrition making him look a couple of years smaller and younger than his physical age, should look his mental age. It should be impossible to look away from the reality of what he is: a traumatized teenager who wasn't allowed to grow up. And he has a gun. This is already a horror story.

Make utrh!Jason a villain if you must, but have the guts to sit with it. Don't shove the fact that he was a hero and a victim under the rug because it's uncomfortable. Sit with the unease that sometimes someone is doing something bad and is suffering a lot, and maybe they're doing the bad thing because they don't know how to survive the suffering, and suddenly it's not easy separating hero from villain from victim. Your imaginary lines in the sand will not protect you from the crude reality of the complicated and shitty situations you have chosen to depict; you open the can of worms now you can't look away and let the worms roam free just because you're squeamish.

How does it feel to be psychic and be in my head and write part of my essay on Jason for me? Fuck, I have so much to say about this but I need a good night of sleep to formulate it correctly. Look for a longer answer tomorrow, but in the meantime, everyone sit down and look at this and look at it hard. Thank you.

[theambitiouswoman]

Core Stoic Principles ✨

Stoicism is a universal approach to ethics, personal growth, and resilience. The core teachings of Stoicism focus on the development of our personal virtue, the practice of reason, and the pursuit of wisdom to live a fulfilling and peaceful life.

Understanding What is Within Our Control: Recognizing the difference between what we can control (our thoughts, emotions, and actions) and what we cannot (external events, the actions of others) is central to Stoic philosophy. Focusing on our internal states rather than external circumstances which can lead you to a more peaceful and productive life.

Living Virtuously: Living according to virtue is the only good. Wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance are central to leading a good life.

Practicing Mindfulness and Self Reflection: This involves reflecting on your thoughts, emotions, and actions to understand them better and align them with rational thinking.

Acceptance: Accepting things as they come, without distress, and understanding the natural flow of life can lead to inner peace. This acceptance is not passive resignation but an emotionally balanced way.

Emotional Regulation: Stoics believe in facing challenges head on with a calm and composed mindset, learning from experiences, and not being overwhelmed by our emotions.

Community: Stoicism teaches the importance of living in harmony with others and contributing to the common good. Focusing on the idea that we are part of a larger community and as a result we should be advocating for actions that benefit society as a whole.

[pinkgvts]

belated boothill anniversary

close up without the extras, plus my very long and cringe message below the cut. (tw: suicide mentioned)

i intended to have this ready for boothill's drip marketing anniversary (3/12), but ended up being too short on time. feel free to completely skip reading the rest because it's a lot and i'm a crazy person.

anyways, my life was forever changed on the day of his very first leaks. i can't seem to track down the exact date of when they were first posted, so for now i'll just use his official drip marketing date. i never expected to love a character so deeply, and i genuinely believe he's one of the two main reasons why i'm still alive today. a few months prior to his leaks, i was severely depressed and an active suicide risk; i felt so lost and dissatisfied with my life, it became nearly impossible for me to regulate my emotions. my passion for art was barely holding on by a thread after being absolutely obliterated in uni and it showed. i was having weekly meltdowns because work left me so emotionally drained that basic daily tasks and hobbies felt like the most dreadful thing to do. all i wanted to do was rot and never leave my room.

and then a certain cowboy came into existence. suddenly, all i wanted to do was draw, and in doing so i met some of the most amazing people. but more than that, i found my love for life again. i haven't had a genuine desire to die in the past year because i'm just so insanely happy to engage with the community i've found, and to consume and create as much boothill content as humanly possible. i used to wake up with an empty pit in my stomach and covered in a cold sweat, but now i wake up and my first thought is "hehe i can't wait to see boothill". like, i'm not even the same person that i was a year ago, and for that i am eternally grateful. and also huge thank you to you all for supporting me even as i shifted to more yumeship focused stuff. i'm so grateful it honestly makes me tear up. i owe you my life. i don't think i'll ever escape his clutches, so you can always count on me to make boothill art for years to come.

i will always love my dearest silver cowboy.

[olderthannetfic]

Getting this off my chest:

Back from a small fanfic hiatus, and I am absolutely flabbergasted by all of the fic authors now practically begging their readers to READ THE TAGS.

I’ve been seeing this warning written in summaries, in author’s notes, highlighted in all caps in the actual tags. I’ve read so many apologies written by authors in the comments in response to people chastising the author for writing what they wanted to write, for what they tagged correctly — for what essentially comes down to nothing more than having had other people actively ignore their tags or read despite them.

And there seems to be this bizarre, somehow largely accepted idea that it is the creators job and responsibility to beseech their readers to ‘use caution’ and to ‘stay safe’, to ‘be mindful of their health’…

I am beyond confused here.

Since when??? did exercising the most basic form of common sense and acknowledging one’s personal yeas and nays, likes and limitations, become some other random stranger’s burden rather than one’s own? And especially a random person who tagged their work correctly??? Does no one remember how to harness their own powers of discernment and self-regulation???

This little jaunt back onto ao3 has been unlike any that I’ve ever experienced before. What. Happened?????? Who is this new, apparently severely emotionally unstable and obstinately tags-reading resistant audience everyone has come to focus on?

It all feels so out of touch. The basic concept of ao3 is for the reader to seek out what they want, not what they don’t want. And to actually read. But there seems to have been an extremely strong shift away from reading. On ao3. A site built specifically for reading and writing. (And other fandom artistic pursuits, but not my focus, atm; though I’m sure whatever this is has crept steadily into all spaces there.)

Plummeting reading comprehension must be somewhat to blame; the popularity of fanfic amongst younger and wider audiences, as well. But… young people have always been there, as far as my own experiences go, and it was never like this. It’s as if too many readers don’t know how to make good or even practical decisions for themselves anymore, that they’ve lost the skill of choosing, and now believe that they must consume everything that passes before them; — that they have, for some reason, adopted the belief that any turmoil or dislike or discomfort felt within themselves is harm purposely being done to them by the author.

Idk. Idk, idk, idk. It’s just such a bummer to see how much nervousness and distress has entered the community. Authors notes and comments used to be hilarious fun, or a peek into someone else’s real-life world, used to be casual and full of personality, whereas nowadays, there seems to be an underlying hesitancy and distrust, a sort of growing divide between writers and readers, groups which, until recently, very much were not mutually exclusive.

--

Idiots have been around forever. The more you cater to them, the more entitled they get. It's best to shut that shit down fast and use no warnings that indicate a willingness to entertain stupid complaints.

[ivesambrose]

PAC : September 2024 Mini Messages

1. 2. 3.

And we're almost in fall 🍁

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Services Offered

Reviews

Thanks for the tip ✨

Picture 1

You'll be feeling the urge to socialize or reconnect with friends and loved ones this month. Likely even connect with new people that inspire you and reignite a spark within you. It seems like as you're headed for autumn you begin to experience your personal spring. There's a lot in your mind and heart and it's been repressed there for quite some time now because you haven't found the right means to express them or the people to express them to but this: shall change. I see you wanting to maintain more balance and diplomacy in your life this month instead of extremes. In a way you've told yourself, "Hey I've done enough push and pull, let me allow things to fall in place." A lot of you might focus on regulating your nervous system, some of you might be starting therapy or just being more attentive about your mental health. Some of you might collaborate or work with others especially if you're an artist or creator of any kind. I also see a select few coming out of hiding and gaining the confidence to put themselves out there. This month will also end on a joyful note for you. You'll also be pursuing something your heart feels really called to. You'll also feel cherished and cared for, this could be from a special someone or your friends and family or the community you're proud of. You'll feel a lot less alone, you never really were.

Picture 2

Leaving all that heartache behind. Bit by bit. Holding your life by the reigns by finding the courage within. There's no need to wait for anyone to help you through this, just begin. I know certain anguishes weigh rather heavily but it doesn't have to be a permanent resident there. A lot of you are planning on moving away from a present location that hasn't been bringing you peace you'l likely end up executing it before this year ends. Sometime around this month itself you'll find yourself feeling emotionally renewed. Opportunities coming up that you had been praying for since long but you feel nervous taking up because emotional fulfillment somehow feels scary to you. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Take the plunge because it'll lead to you feeling proud and successful of yourself. I also see a peak in finances or you saving up enough to afford something that makes you really happy. If you have pets you'll be spending more time with them or even consider adopting one. You'll start finding joy in the things you used to years back. Hold onto this feeling. For some reason the song, 'Innocence' by Avril Lavigne came through for this pile as well. If you resonate deeply with music, then this song definitely has a message for you.

Picture 3

A mental breakthrough. I see you being assertive and maybe even cut throat with your goals. I also see a lot of you disciplining your mind to the maximum. Correcting any negative thought and assumption. You'll also find yourself emerging victorious no matter what situation you're facing. There's a specific turn of events and fate for you. Fall overall is a significant time for this pile. I see you embracing joy diligently, making new friends and connections and making plans with your loved ones. You have chosen to let your inner child experience everything they have been forced to let go of. Do not dim your own light this month. You were meant to shine. You were meant to stand out. Some of you might also have a significant secret admirer as well. They see you as the break of dawn after a dark and solemn night and want to pretty much make you feel the same it seems. You'll find yourself wanting to relax more and allow things to come to you. Stressing and forcing on the other hand might lead to discord and feeling burnt out. It seems as though you had been fearing the worst but there has been a pleasant change of plans for you. You will be starting a new chapter in your life, you'll be rather stubborn about it too, brainstorming quite a bit, might encounter a few conflicts here and there but nothing good team work can't solve. This will eventually lead you to the version of you that you have in mind.

[rencatuive]

my read of tamba is someone whose parents did not gaf about her emotional regulation skills or her academics in favour of as much gymnastics training as humanly possible

so when you take the gymnastics stuff away, and put her in a terrifying death game, you see a heavily flawed person who cant emotionally regulate well and isn't too skilled at reasoning

[mysterycitrus]

I know a lot of ppl ask u abt jason or dick but im wondering now, what do u think about bruce? I find him a very interesting character whose characterization is incredibly feeble, both bc of his 80 years of history and the tendency writers have to project their own male fantasies on him. So i'd definitely love to hear ur own thoughts about him. I personally enjoy depicting him as someone morally grey, although my sympatization for him changes day to day. Wether you think he is a good or a bad person, i believe u need to make him dedicated to gotham and the bat as a symbol, and that comes with all its advantages and drawbacks

bruce wayne is sooooo interesting (derogatory) because like u said, he carries the baggage of every masochismo author that decided batman was too woke and should hurt his kids and that supporting gotham’s infrastructure is for pussies. there’s also the flipside of that, where he’s the perfect father who’s waaaay too emotionally regulated for my taste. both of these interpretations are bad imo, and both functionally miss the point.

i think part of this (in fandom) is an obsession with moral angst ��� u can either be a good person doing good things, or a bad person doing bad things. think about how some characters are crucified while others are babied. someone always has to be absolutely right, and the other has to be absolutely wrong.

in reality, there are a lot of people who are fundamentally kind and fundamentally want to do good that are really terrible to the people in their lives. bruce wayne being someone who relies on having so much control that it implodes his connections to the people around him is an important part of his character. his profound love for his children, for gotham and her people, for humanity in general and his belief in peoples ability to change, doesn’t circumvent the fact that he’s often an emotionally abusive man who hurts others to achieve his own ends. he contains multitudes.

writing him as a functionally irredeemable, violently abusive person is the anti-thesis to the symbol that he himself created. no, i personally don’t believe he actively beats his kids (even though it’s supported in the text). no, i don’t think he’s an irredeemable sadist (as much as frank miller wants u to believe otherwise). to have people like dick grayson and diana and clark and dinah love and believe in u means that there has to be something there worth caring about, otherwise the whole universe is gonna fall apart.

that’s what makes his relationship to cass so interesting — he sees his neuroticism, his dedication to the cause above all else, and does not find it admirable. he finds it confronting and upsetting. and to be clear, cass (like dick) is very much the moral ideal of what batman should be, but still bruce finds it hard to deal with!!

his abject failures — his treatment of the robins, his crippling guilt about jason, his fears of becoming a killer, the impossible load he gives himself to carry — means that when he’s shown as someone who genuinely cares, it makes him more complex. like yeah, bruce isn’t actually a cold hearted person. he really really gives a shit. too many shits, to be totally honest. he’s a morally grey person that wants to do good, but is so terrified of losing control that he keeps others away and hurts them in the process. there’s a reason why his emotional crutch was a traumatised eight year old fr. nothing is more important than the mission, including bruce wayne himself

[damianstarastrology]

Moon emphasis

Moon energy is eerily familiar. Upon first meeting the characteristics of the moon person (moon conjunct ascendant, in first house, cancer asc) are ones that feel similar to someone we have known in our past; we may immediately link this person to someone we know or have known. The impression you get from the moon person has more to do with your relationship to whatever it is this person reminds you of; if the person, place or thing brings up good memories, this person feels like a comfort blanket. If the feelings attached are negative, you may get a bad impression of the moon person for no particular reason. You may get a bad feeling that isnt warranted; the case usually is that the moon person contradicts a preconceived idea of security and comfort.

Cancer risings and people with moon on the ascendent or first house can feel victimized by others. Others make snap judgements about them based on their personal biases leaving the moon person feeling out of control. The moon person hates to feel out of control.

Moon in the tenth house and especially closely conjunct the midheaven feel particularly watched out in public. Strangers get an immediate impression of vulnerability.

When the moon is in the first house and in a water or earth sign the native retreats into their inner world to escape the general harshness of people. This person needs a steady comfortable home environment that they have control over; if they live with parents or roommates or a spouse they need their own space to be happy, a room or rooms that they decorated, to fully feel secure. Otherwise they become irritable moody and frustrated; scrambling to control the environment around them.

The individual with the moon in the first house in a water sign is drawn to and feels comforted by bodies of water; cancer is rivers, lakes, shores, pisces the ocean and scorpio the deep seas.

When the moon falls in the first house and is in a fire or air sign the individual takes part in many hobbies, fire emotionally regulates through physical exercise, air regulates through technology and social media.

The moon is everchanging and thus so is the moon person. If the sun is in a fire sign, their outward expression and appearance changes based on their mood which is determined by the moon’s current cycle and sign. If the sun is an air sign, the appearance changes with trend cycles.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

https://www.tumblr.com/whatudowhennooneseesyou/765031256699404289/greeting-ruby-are-u-able-to-do-felix-red-and

No I think it’s me 😭 I think I put that request a while ago I’m not sure but happy to see ur doing it Ruby

Have a great night 🌹

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱 𝐋𝐞𝐞 (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1K

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: Think about it. Write about it. Have hard thoughts. Do not take it seriously. None of this information is confirmed and all theoretical. 18+ and contains smut.

ᴍᴇᴛʜᴏᴅᴏʟᴏɢʏ: Traditional Astrology & Whole Sign

ᴏᴠᴇʀᴠɪᴇᴡ:

This analysis will be slightly shorter and less detailed due to Felix's Rising Sign being unknown.

Virgo Sun

Aries Moon

Rising Sign Unknown (although if I were to guess, I do strongly believe Felix is a Cancer Rising- his personality traits, appearance and life themes align with being ruled by the Moon)

Libra Mercury

Libra Venus

Leo Mars (again, Mars in 2nd House would explain the deep voice and why he's one of the most popular (if not, the most popular) member of Stray Kids.)

ꜰᴜᴄᴋʙᴏɪ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ:

9/10!!!

The fuckboi energy is STRONG with Felix because his Aries Moon and Leo Mars indicates he's not the most romantic person in relationships and he's quite primal/pleasure-focused in his escapades.

He can detach and separate emotional from physical feelings and he has a HIGH drive so he might require constant and copious amounts of sex in order to feel satisfied.

Felix also loves A LOT of attention, praise and reassurance with his Libra and Leo placements and the more, the better.

If a man with a Leo and Libra placements is unhealed (which let's face it- Felix is in his 20s so I doubt he's seeing a therapist) then he might prefer constant attention from groups/hordes of people, rather than a singular person b/c they prefer to be desired by multiple people.

I kid you not, I think Felix is on the same wavelength as Jeongin regarding hidden fuckboi energy.

Before you come for me, just look at the way this man flirts on stage, with Stays, with his members and that iconic Risabae interview. The man has EXPERIENCE.

ʀᴇᴅ & ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ꜰʟᴀɢꜱ:

ʀᴇᴅ:

Commitment phobic (potentially)- see above for my biggest reason why, if he was toxic enough- he could be the type that's for the streets permanently.

Emotionally impulsive and volatile! His Aries Moon indicates he struggles with emotional regulation and is the type to go off the deep end over the smallest of issues because he's the type to bottle things up.

Superficial! His Virgo Sun and Libra Venus can make him superficial and appearance- focused and could be more interested in how well you two LOOK together vs how well you two actually are compatible.

ɢʀᴇᴇɴ:

Loveable! By this I mean he does have an endless amount of love and passion to give to you, you would never feel like he doesn't love you because he'll show it constantly through acts of service and physical touch.

Confidence! Felix's confident nature means he's not afraid to initiate or reveal his feelings, he has enough self-reassurance to take those risks, no matter how anxious he feels internally.

Adventure! His Leo Mars indicates he gets bored easily so he would always find a way to keep the spark alive in the relationship, no matter how long you've been together.

ɪᴅᴇᴀʟ ᴛʏᴘᴇ…ɪꜰ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ:

ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛꜱ:

Felix's sexual orientation is unknown BUT if he were into women, would be attracted to the 'effortlessly put-together' aesthetic with his Libra Venus, feminine, elegant but simple in their appearance.

His Leo Mars attracts him to confidence and aura so ppl with a big smile, nice teeth, straight posture and shiny hair would also be physical traits he'd find attractive.

Virgo/Aries placements typically are drawn to the 'natural/glowy' look so if you can look hot with no makeup or light makeup and have your hair thrown prettily in a messy bun whilst wearing a baggy T-shirt or workout gear? Then Felix is your man.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ ᴛʀᴀɪᴛꜱ:

Extroverted! He does need someone who is extroverted or at least an ambivert that enjoys consistently being social and attending group environments like he does.

Social! He finds charisma incredibly attractive, if you can light up a room and have people gush over you with a simple smile and a twinkle in your eye, he will adore you for life.

Playful! He has to be with a partner who he feels he can release his inner child and be playful and kinda quirky with, that won't make fun of him for his weird noises.

I feel like I'm just describing Bang Chan here.

ᴅᴏᴍ, ꜱᴜʙ ᴏʀ ꜱᴡɪᴛᴄʜ:

Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out!!!

I do think Felix is more dominant than what he lets on because he knows the company and Stays prefer him to have that 'cute fairy boy' persona but his dominant side creeps out on stage, particularly when he performs by himself or when he's on solo press tours or promotion.

I definitely see him as a hard dom and can be quite freaky in the bedroom BUT it would take a long time to coax it out of him, he wouldn't show you that side of him until he's been intimate with you a couple of times.

I think the switch-dom ratio would be 60/40 and I don't think he'd prefer someone who's extremely bratty all the time but definitely a soft brat, someone who's nice and bubbly but has a slight attitude problem you know?

ᴋɪɴᴋꜱ…ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ:

Auralism! It's obvious but it's very true, we see this with Felix's loves of ASMR and how he's quite an auditory person. He would love your voice but also loves the noises your body makes during a tryst of passion, the slap of skin on skin-, the licking of his tongue against your cunt etc.

'can you hear the sound of your cunt taking my fingers in baby? that's the sound of heaven for me'

Camming! This is an intrusive thought but Felix wasn't an idol, he would have made a killing on OnlyFans providing ASMR content with his voice and fem!boy appearance. His Leo Mars indicates he likes to be watched and be appreciated by multiple ppl.

'all your comments are making me so hard right now, if I keep receiving them, I might just wear the tiara one of my beautiful subscribers bought me'

Voyeurism! Idk what the kink is called but I do think Felix might get aroused over his own performance and voice so I wouldn't be surprised if he enjoys filming something sexy and then wants to watch you watch the footage and get hard over watching you get yourself worked up and then fuck you after.

'Look how wet you got just from watching me jerk off babe? It's a good thing you've got the real thing right here to make you feel good'

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @craxy-person @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @sensitiveandhungry @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @starillusion13 @justaaveragereader @ja3hwa @jus2passtime @shroomoth @marykpoppin @leomggg @daddysspecialdollyworld @mykryptonitelight @wisejudgedragonhairdo @craxy-person @sanakimohara

[psychoticallytrans]

If a workaround that allows a disabled person to participate requires significant time, effort, or money that the abled version of the task does not require, there will be disabled people who are unable to use the workaround. Time, effort, and money are things that are already in much shorter supply for disabled people than abled people.

A workaround being possible and existing does not mean that it’s a good one, or that disabled people should now be expected to participate at the same rate or in the same amount that abled people can.

For an example, let’s say I’m having a fairly minor psychotic episode. Strictly speaking, it is possible for me to leave the house. I have no major, specific barriers, such as known delusions of stalking or any history of walking into the road due to hallucinations. It is physically safe for me to leave the house, and does not run the risk of making an episode worse for me, specifically.

However, I have to deal with the hallucinations and delusions that I do have. If I’m in an environment that I don’t control, such as a grocery store, then I can’t verify the sounds that I hear nearly as well. I’ll also struggle with verifying smells and sights, and keeping myself emotionally regulated. This takes time and energy to deal with, significantly more than the amount that it would take me when not in an episode.

In order to preserve energy I need to take care of myself, I only leave the house during an episode if it’s absolutely necessary. I do not leave for fun, and cancel plans over it. This has upset people, who say that it is possible for me to still come. But it being technically possible does not always mean it is reasonably possible.

If someone tells you “I can’t do that.”, than unless they have said otherwise, it is not your job to find or invent workarounds, no matter how possible you think it is. It's probable that they've already thought of it, and possible that the workaround itself is unusable to them for one reason or another that they probably don't want to explain to you. It is downright rude to make statements such as “You could if you wanted to.” or “Can’t or won’t?”. If you’re close with them, asking “Why?” is usually fine- but don’t expect to be able to solve a “can’t”.

Respect it when you are told that someone can't do something.