#This is how I want to carry myself forever

[https-lvesick]

( 지성 ) ── college boyfriend headcanons!

content . . 𝜗𝜚 fem!reader, smut, fingering, public sex, creampie

lola’s notes .: it wasn’t supposed to be a smut headcanon, but i can’t help myself by nct 127. i swear i’ll bring more fluff fics so you won’t think i’m a horny dog <3

college boyfriend!jisung isn’t just your boyfriend — he’s also your roommate. when you first moved in together, he was painfully shy, barely able to speak without blushing. it took two months for him to relax around you, but once he realized he was in love, he wasted no time showing you how much you meant to him.

college boyfriend!jisung who constantly goofs off during lectures, making you scold him every single time. but it’s not his fault! the professor is so boring, how could he possibly pay attention?

college boyfriend!jisung, affectionately known as your personal puppy. the sweet boy who’s always trailing after you around campus, carrying your books, your bag, or anything else you need — always ready with your favorite snack or drink in hand.

college boyfriend!jisung who has a habit of procrastinating his projects, pushing deadlines dangerously close until you step in to help. of course, this means you end up falling behind on your work while helping him scramble to finish his.

college boyfriend!jisung who’s surprisingly popular. not a day goes by without some random girl trying to flirt with him. but he always rejects them with polite kindness — even the ones who don’t deserve it — and makes it clear: he’s yours.

college boyfriend!jisung who loves to play innocent even when his fingers are deep inside your dripping cunt, teasing you under the desk during a lecture. he doesn’t care if you’re in class — as long as you’re relaxed and having fun, he’s satisfied.

college boyfriend!jisung who begs you to partner up for group projects because he’s too nervous to talk to other classmates, using his best puppy-dog eyes until you give in.

college boyfriend!jisung who’s always down to skip morning classes just to stay in bed a little longer — whether it’s for lazy, sweet snuggles or slow, passionate morning sex that turns an ordinary day into something colorful and unforgettable.

college boyfriend!jisung, the shy, silly boy everyone assumes is too innocent for anything risqué. some classmates even joke that he might still be a virgin who doesn’t know how to kiss his girlfriend properly — despite how undeniably attractive he is. if only they knew what happens behind closed doors.

college boyfriend!jisung who couldn’t resist you before class, emptying himself inside you until your legs wobbled and his cum dripped down your thighs — leaving you to navigate the rest of the day with a secret only the two of you shared.

college boyfriend!jisung who’s absolutely certain you’re the love of his life. with your graduation approaching, he’s been secretly, nervously debating whether to propose. his heart races at the thought of slipping a ring on your finger — because all he really wants is to spend forever with you.

did you enjoy your reading? why don’t reblog, like or leave a comment? this way i know you liked what i wrote and surely will keep up with the good content! 𖹭 masterlist

🏷 @jungaji @spacejip @lyvhie @sinisxtea @jirsungs

[voxslays]

Can I request headcanons for sinner!Adam with a sinner!s/o dying in his arms? How would he react and how would he move on, if at all?

hi! thank you for requesting. i love angsty tropes so much—especially the ‘dying in someone’s arms’ trope. i also included a Lucifer segment (mostly because I can’t help myself…) and I hope that’s okay with you! thanks! <3

ARMS TONIGHT

Adam and Lucifer with a sinner S/O who is fatally wounded during one of the exterminations and dies in their arms. Very angsty.

Adam

Adam wasn’t afraid. After the last extermination he didn’t think things could get worse. In fact, they seemed to be getting better. I mean, he met you afterall, didn’t he? He was learning to adjust to the life of a ‘lowly’ sinner. And slowly, he began to realize maybe not all sinners were bad. Don’t get me wrong, Adam still hates sinners—especially the ones at Lucifer’s bitch daughter’s tacky hotel…but then he met you. And you were always such an Angel.

Adam knew the extermination was coming up again. But the girls he raised and trained (and was like a father figure to) wouldn’t kill him. Adam knew they couldn’t even if they tried. He may have been harsh but he was really the only family they had growing up. And Lute specifically would never order his death.

But you were a different story—you were a sinner and always had been. In the angels eyes, you were a worthless piece of trash just waiting to be put out of your misery. So when extermination day rolled around—having gone through decades of exterminations, you begged Adam to hide out with you. But he refused—saying he needed to do ‘something’. So you waited for him to return.

You waited and waited until an exorcist found your hiding spot. The angel slowly impaled you with her spear. Your death was not only slow, but extremely painful. You cried out for your loving boyfriend in your last moments, but received no reply—only the muffled screams outside—And then everything went black.

Adam would return shortly after, to see your lifeless body lying in a pool of blood, a spear still lodged in your now cold chest. He would run to your lifeless body and cradle it while holding back tears. How could he be so stupid? Of course the exterminators would go after you. And Adam would forever be cursed with the knowledge that he was too late to save you from your fate.

I honestly think it would take Adam a long time to move on. It definitely did with Lillith and Eve. This man was already broken as is from the trauma of his two past wives leaving him for the same man. And now his almost third? He still has the ring he would’ve proposed to you with in his back pocket—and will now carry it with him for all time, thinking about what could’ve been.

Lucifer

Lucifer was afraid. His family had always been very important to him (that’s why he went into a depressive slump for seven-ish years when Lillith left), so of course when he had the chance to sign an agreement with heaven, stating that only sinners could be harmed by the yearly exterminations if he stayed out of their affairs and stopped causing a commotion, he signed immediately.

Luci had also never really cared for sinners. He went through all the trouble to give them free will—even getting cast away from heaven, into the dark abyss of hell—and they just chose drugs, sex and violence!? He has a long ongoing grudge against them until he meets you. You were one of the sinners looking for redemption in his daughter’s passion project—the Hazbin Hotel! And Lucifer was truly happy you wanted to support her as much as you did. You were almost a better mother than Lillith without even trying—which is truly an incredible feat.

The two of you grew closer, eventually finding reasons to meet up outside of the hotel. Lucifer was extremely nervous and closed off before, but quickly opens up to you. And somewhere inbetween the months you spend so close together, he asks to court you, which you obviously say yes to. Yay!

Anyways, before you knew it—it was extermination day. The angels had already made it loud and clear that they would attack the hotel first, and everyone was busying preparing. Alastor had made a huge green shield around the property, and everyone else was getting suited up and ready for battle. You were busy fighting an exorcist. You hear Luci call your name and you turn your head only for a split second, which is enough time for the exorcist to brutally stab you in both the thigh and through the chest.

Lucifer runs over to you tears clouding his vision as he takes out any exorcist within twenty feet of you (wow!) and cradles your dying body. The worst part is he knows he can’t save you. You’ve already lost too much blood—and while he tries to use his powers, it doesn’t help one bit. Like Adam, Lucifer is also cursed with the knowledge that he couldn’t save one of the people he loved the most in this hellhole (besides Charlie ofc).

Won’t be able to move on and will be stuck in another depressive slump for a few months at best—a few years at worst. But at least this time he has Charlie and the rest of the hotel gang (besides that radio freak Bambi) to help him through it.

A/N: I might write a part two with Alastor and Vox!

[capseycartwright]

tagged by @livingincolorsagain to do a 2024 fic roundup and i am v late but hope u forgive my tardiness i have been enjoying a new year rot of the highest order. anyway apparently i wrote a whole heap of fic this year and didn't realise it until i made this post.

april

every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it 

Buck should – he should be freaking out, right? He’d lived thirty-two years of his life without coming close to kissing another man, and it should be making him freak out that tonight, he did – but Buck felt flooded with the oddest sense of calm he’d ever experienced in his life.

He’d kissed a man.

or - after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.

stay close, little brother

hen and maddie share a quiet moment of pride about their little brother at the buckley-han wedding.

may

all roads lead to eddie diaz

Eddie inclined his head slightly. “He is,” he hummed in response. “But it sounds more like you’re wanting to pick a fight here than discuss our mutual appreciation for how great a person Buck is.

Tommy, at least, looked slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he admitted. “The way you feel about him.

or - eddie and tommy have a revelatory conversation about the buck of it all.

july

a sky full of stars

Christopher Diaz had always loved fireworks - the pop, and bang, and the way they would light up the sky with bright colours. His dad didn’t like fireworks though. His dad was afraid of them.

or, even in Texas, Christopher worries about his father spending the Fourth of July alone. So he texts Buck.

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right?

- or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

october

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)

Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.

Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 

Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.

knowing damn well i haven't been touched by you

Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.

- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.

november

miss me, but let me go

“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.”

On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.

you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star

“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” 

in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.

december

i'll be home for christmas (if only in my dreams)

It was a silly thing, Buck had started, right when Eddie first got to El Paso – we’re looking at the same sky, he’d quipped, on one of their nightly Facetime calls.

Even when they were far apart from each other, they were still able to look up at the same stars, and if they just remembered that, maybe the distance between El Paso, and Los Angeles, wouldn’t feel so cavernous. That’s what Buck had promised him.

simply having a wonderful christmastime (maybe)

Eddie's family were about to arrive for the first Christmas they were hosting in LA as as couple, and, well, Buck felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack so great it would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the destruction it was liable to cause.

or - the buckley-diazes are hosting christmas for the first time, and buck is freaking out, a little. he has a good reason, he swears.

see the lights, hang the stockings

Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions.

everyone has probably done this already so apologies but tagging @doeeyeseddie @thatbuddie @clusterbuck @hattalove @mellaithwen @sibylsleaves @piningbuddies @eddiebabygirldiaz @hotshotsxyz

[christophersturnn]

to thank people.

The people that I can actually talk to and trust here are @kenzieeluby @madifilipowiczz @m4ttthemunch @jakewebberr9 @chasekeithh @almondmilkhunniii @chrislilcumslvt @jazzyss-blog @sturniolowhore @nick-stuxniolos-hg (and the one and only Nate)the people I will always trust and talk to.

I’m not saying I’m not friends with any other people and that I’m breaking off my friendships with them. but the people tagged have been nothing but there for me, nice, supportive, I’ve actually been able to be myself around, to actually be able to talk about stuff, to do shit I really want, to come to them crying without having any judgement. these are the people I can really rely on in my hardest. And I will always believe that, no matter if we fight or argue, we’ve never had a bad patch to actually break us.

I want to thank those people. thank you you guys. I will always always appreciate you and your help you’ve given me.

To start off @kenzieeluby

You have done nothing but been there for me, let me cry in your arms, always have listened, comforted me, been the one to stand up for me, to never give a fuck about what someone says because you know the truth, you know every little thing about me. You have never judged me, never been the one to say something rude, always have taken care of me. NO MATTER WHAT you have stayed. Been there, stayed here. I feel like my inner child comes out when I’m with you, you always put a smile on my face and never fail to. And look where we are, a ring on your finger, and nothing has brought us to an end. Words can’t explain how much I love you and how much I’m thankful for you.

Secondly, @madifilipowiczz

I can’t express the way you have changed my life. You’ve been there, supported me, talked to me, gave me advice, every time we have argued, you’d never hold a grudge. Always said goodnight no matter what. Every “ily” was meant (platonically for the fucking mad anons.) no matter if I fucked up you would listen. You know about things others don’t. And you were always the one to first respond.

Third. @m4ttthemunch

We’ve had lows, that’s for sure. But you’re always gonna be my brother. You have listened, talked to me, always known how to calm me down, always reminded me to take deep breath’s. You have really helped me out in life. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done, your my brother, a bond no one else can have with me. You know every single little thing about me. I love you Matt, I love you so much.

fourth. @jakewebberr9

I know we don’t talk a lot anymore, but when we did, we could talk about anything and everything, it was never ever awkward, we could get into tmi shit and we would hype each other up, my early rp days started with you and you were the one to instantly click. Thank you for being there for me and always talking to me, I miss our hour long conversations but I will continue to be thankful for you no matter what.

Fifth. The one and only @chasekeithh

I don’t think anyone can replace what we have. You’re my best friend, always have been, you have been there, listened and always agreed. Doesn’t matter how much shit we’re both buried in. We still find a way to laugh with each other. You have no idea how much shit you have carried me through, we’ve never argued, never fought, nothing. You’re a bond I can’t explain. You can make jokes with me every time you manage to make me laugh. I will always always be here for you, and I know I can count the same from you. Thank you so so much for what you have done for me Chase. Your personality always matches mine, you will match my energy, and I feel like I can be myself with you. I will always and forever love you. Thank you Chase. I can’t thank you enough.

Sixth. @almondmilkhunniii

Yes I know we aren’t the best of friends, but I feel like I can trust you and talk to you. You make me laugh and cheer me up, you always offer to listen, and you can tell when I’m down, your one of the nicest, most genuine loving person I have ever met.

Seventh. @chrislilcumslvt

I know I bug you and shit, but your replies to my annoying asks or how I always talk about kisses and shit make me smile. I can’t describe how supportive, funny, caring, person you are. You always listen, never judge, and you put up with my shit. I love you for that. Thank you marls.

eighth. @jazzyss-blog

You make me smile, make me laugh, make me happy. Your funny ass photos and replies you always have on hand make me laugh my fucking ass off. I love you so so so much. Thank you jazzy.

ninth. @nick-stuxniolos-hg

You have no idea how thankful I am for you, you’re always there for me, been there for me, and will continue to be. If I need a hug, your there, if I need someone to talk to, your there. You’re always there. Your someone that makes me smile, and your someone that can make life worth it, your nothing but thankful for everything. Your such a caring person and I can’t be more thankful for you to be in my life.

I miss you Nate, I really do.( someone tag him cause I can’t find his main)

Thank you guys for everything you have done for me. I can’t express it enough.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

https://www.instagram.com/p/DBO1QfCJdV3/?igsh=MW80MjE0d2Nla25ubA==

Idk why but this post just reminds me of something you’d like. Like I saw it and thought “mmm yeah, April would like this. This has got April vibes.”

Yes

[creaturefeaster]

agh!!!!

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

[boygirlctommy]

man i want to make an animatic about my ocs so bad

[vvelegrin]

augh i need to get a new phone, and i need to give my doctor a form so i can get accommodations for the GRE, and i need to contact people for letters of recommendation, and i need to get my car smogged, and i need to make an appointment for a sleep study, and i need to get a livescan done like three months ago, and i need to fill out a thing for my master gardener project, and i need to scout out areas that are safe and legal to shoot some arrows and also maybe make a lesson with the local range to clean up my form, and i need to reach out to some local falconers so i can flush game for them and whatever and be best friends forever, and also get ear drops again for my recurring double ear infections lmao, and probably about 400 other things.

sigh. what if i... didn't.

[skrunksthatwunk]

not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

[blissfali]

THEY DID NOT MAKE SKY ZONE FOR THE FAT PEOPLE

[arch-lightbaund]

@withsorrowandregret asked:

early morning rain  ,    heedless    &.    turbulent  ,    scurried down the windows  .    the perpetual music of water drops upon glass soothed his nerves  ,    if only a little  .    not enough to liberate him from the need to march the corridor up and down  ,    awaiting the awakening of his friend  .    the fraction of a second midoriya heard the door open  ,    he must have nearly tackled the birthday boy the the ground in a fusion of enthusiasm    &.    nerves  .    scarred digits offered a small package  ,    neatly wrapped in sapphire    &.    ruby shades  ,    for celebration  ;    a self - made good luck charm stacked on tickets for an amusement park  .

❝    happy birthday  ,    todoroki - kun  !    ❞

His alarm signed the beginning of a new day, a day Shoto hadn't been looking forward to, not more than any other. He'd intentionally ignore the texts on his phone, still in a morning haze where he couldn't deal with the wishes of his family ( the only people he expected to remember what day it was, if caring to text him this early ). He realized he was mistaken though, when he found someone standing at his door. Having woken up at the sound of heavy rain, and meeting his most dear friend first thing in the morning, was more than he could have ever asked to brighten up his day, but it seemed as if more awaited him.

If only Midoriya knew his place in Shoto's heart. His hero, bright and as if standing on a pedestal, beyond his reach. But suddenly, he was there, right in front of him, not as Deku but simply as his friend, an image he wouldn't forget as long as he lived, for this was a day different than most. Not a reminder of his loneliness, like his past birthdays used to be, but the reminder of his inner growth, and the connections he had made in the last year. Becoming someone he didn't despise, and who could be taught what was like to be loved again. All because of HIM.

“ You remembered? ” were the first words to slip his mouth, surprise evident in his eyes as he stared at the green-haired and the offered gift. As if the sour past memories of this day no longer had a place in his heart, as if replaced by the sentiment of this moment, Shoto smiled at the other. A wide smile free of any reservations, of any dark thoughts to cloud his heart and mind. “ Thank you, Midoriya. ” How sweet were the words, a different taste than usual. Carefully he'd attempt to unwrap the present, a bit uncertain if that was the tradition, revealing what his friend had made for him and the tickets. He took the charm in his hand, holding it tight to his fist as if it was his most precious possession. “ I'll always have this with me. ” He cast another glance of gratitude, and next to his attention were the tickets. “ Would you mind going with me? ” He never had gone to a place like this, and only if it was with Midoriya, it'd be really worth it. “ It's a place you should go with friends, right? ”

[archived-lightbaund]

withsorrowandregret asked ( once upon a time ago ):

[  ill  ] Izuku for Shoto

nonverbal  meme  prompts

[  ill  ]  sender  takes  care  of  receiver  when  they  are  unwell

“ I needed to move around a little, ” he explained, when asked why he hadn’t stayed in his room. Only wearing a t-shirt and shorts, Shoto had wandered around the dorms. The kitchen was his stop, taking a seat when seeing Midoriya was there. “ It’s not that serious, ” he mumbled, before starting to cough once more. He must be looking miserable, with his hair messed up, the dark circles underneath his eyes, and pale color. Shoto hated being sick, even though this would make it the first time he’d spend his time resting.

Midoriya was worrying for what was a minor cold. Or the flu. He couldn’t really tell them apart, and he didn’t think there was a point to it. He could have continued training and classes like he always did whenever he wasn’t feeling his normal self. Shoto was trained after all to function even under these circumstances. He didn’t think his father was wrong on that part. It didn’t make sense, for a hero to stand back because of an illness. Villains wouldn’t wait for his fever to ease down.  

“ I hate this, ” he grumbled. The last few days had drained him, not only physically but psychologically too. He had run out of patience. Waking up every few hours, having nightmares, feeling weak even to leave his futon. His body switching from hot to cold every few minutes. His body failing him for the first time in a long time, with Shoto not understanding the reason. Recovery Girl had advised him not to try and regulate his temperature, for his body to fight this naturally, and now he’d find himself once again trembling when a minute ago he had been feeling hot, and couldn’t do anything about it.

[rafestify]

need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything he’s done but deep down he’s so down bad for reader and maybe she’s pregnant instead of sarah and he doesn’t find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!

Two lines — Rafe Cameron

Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafe’s baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! ⚠️)

Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)

A/N : as requested 😉 hope u like it anon!

Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didn’t know was that I was pregnant. I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.

There I was, back on Rafe’s boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything he’d done.

I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.

“Here,” I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. “I brought some aspirin, just in case you’re feeling dizzy or something…”

He snorted, cutting me off. “What? You’re just gonna throw it in my mouth like I’m a fuckin' seal?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. “Nobody trusts you, Rafe,” I replied, my voice steady. “Not after what you did.”

His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. “I saved your asses!” he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. “And not even a thank you was said.”

I took a slow breath, steadying myself. “I know, Rafe. I know,” I said softly. “Thank you, really.” I offered him a small, sincere smile.

He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. “You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.

“Yeah,” I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.

He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. “Then untie me. Get this shit off me.”

I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. “Just… eat the food. We wouldn’t want you dying in here.” With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding back.

As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiara’s anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.

"How’d it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.

I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.

Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"

I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"

She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That you’re pregnant, with his child."

Oh, right. That one.

I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uh—no, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just… I don’t know how he’d react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesn’t want to keep the baby?"

Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. We’ll help you through every single part of this. That’s what friends are for, right?"

I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hope—a reminder that I wouldn’t have to face this alone.

After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.

The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harbor—just like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.

We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.

As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.

JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.

"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.

"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.

I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn’t stop moving.

JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.

"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.

"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didn’t trust myself to hold it down any longer.

Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. It’s been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.

"Yeah, the baby’s probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.

I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.

"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.

Oh god, here we go.

Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "I’m pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."

The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didn’t say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.

I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.

"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.

Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cash—several bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.

"Wait what?" JJ’s voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They don’t take dollars, you idiot—"

"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJ’s protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.

The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafe’s demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafe’s abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.

Rafe’s eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didn’t say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.

"I don’t care whether you want the baby or not, but I’m keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.

Rafe’s eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, hey—who said I don’t want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.

I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasn’t sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.

"We’ll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "I’ll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. You’re not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.

For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "I’ll be with you, 'aight?"

I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.

"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorry—"

Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadn’t expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.

My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.

"You’re serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.

Rafe didn’t flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "I’ll be there for you. For us."

For the first time, I didn’t know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t predict.

I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.

Rafe’s expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didn’t hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.

His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, “We’re gonna be parents.” His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldn’t quite believe them either.

I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldn’t shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, “I’m scared, Rafe.” The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I am scared too.” There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.

“But we’re in this together,” he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s coming… but I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadn’t realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.

I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, “I’m glad it’s you.” And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.

He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “We’re gonna figure this out together,” he promised. “One step at a time.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.

“Here,” Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.

“Feeling better now?” Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.

I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. “Yeah, yeah… thank you,” I replied, glancing at each of them.

They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much I’d come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing they’d been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible.

As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadn’t noticed before.

The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about who’d paid the most for what they’d brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the pogues’ attention fixed on us.

Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. “You really okay?” he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.

I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadn’t expected. “Yeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.

He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafe—one who wasn’t weighed down by pride or bravado. “That's good” His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.

In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.

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[insanechayne]

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