#This is a very funny scenario to me

[psychojetcocktail]

cannot stop thinking abt that pinup neo drew of arcade.... like i love the idea of him agreeing to do that for some xtra cash + bc its kinda funny and he starts getting recognized as the guy on the followers pinup poster

Yes omg, and he becomes like the hottest guy in Freeside afterwards or something, but that’s alright cuz now he’s doing better financially.

But it like backfires because now even more women think hes hot and of course nobody knows he’s gay and it becomes a whole disaster

[dianagj-art]

BETRAYAL!

In my head this is how the two managged to land on 3rd place lmao (One is surprised but not dissapointed)

There's so many branches to this poll now that I didn't know where to add this on so this gets its own post, pls make yourself a favor and check all the reblogs of that poll, there's so much good art and very funny tags from everyone

Bonus with the bestie:

LM leo @daedelweiss

RR leo @red-rover-au

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Me: hey brain, can we think normal things tonight?

Brain: PALEONTOLOGIST!DEAN FINDS AN ANGEL THAT GOT BURIED DURING THE EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS.

Me: *quietly* ...what the fuck

Brain: Dean is working on an excavation in a cave system when he uncovers this. fcking HUMAN BEING WITH *WINGS* AND *TOO MANY EYES*. PRESERVED IN ROCK IN THE SAME STRATA AS THE DINOSAURS. And ofc Dean is really freaked out and scared of this thing, but then he notices that the figure is curled forward over something, and as he looks closer he sees the skeletons of a nest of baby raptors that the "human" figure was holding tight to its chest, like it was trying to shield them from something. And he realizes that this... Thing... died protecting them.

Except the "human" figure isnt a skeleton, its preserved fully in the rock. Or perhaps...

[dailyloopdeloop]

chimera loop.. saw ur chimera sif itwas epic

DAY 88: (Well, uh, you found something alright.)

[trainingdummyrabbit]

no, that's not quite right...

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

[euphor1a]

Comfort sex with Jungkook

thirst drabbles (10/∞)

fandom » bts

pairing » jungkook x f!reader

rating » 18+ (minors dni!)

genre » smut, established relationship.

word count » ~ 670

warnings » mentions astraphobia (fear of thunder), profanity, very light dom/sub undertones, unprotected sex, implied cockwarming, praising, slow sex, creampie, lmk if i missed anything!

The thunderstorm seems to intensify more as you find yourself cradled in your boyfriend’s arms; your bodies connected together. You shriek under him, the deafening sound of yet another lightning strike paralyzing you from fear.

“Oh baby, it’s alright. It won’t hurt you. I’m right here, focus on me, on us.”

You nod silently, sighing when he starts moving again. Jungkook lets his lips caress over your cleavage, overwhelmed by the way your warm, snug, gummy walls clench around his cock. His pace is gentler than ever, his length filling you up to the hilt and sliding back, warmth bubbling inside your chest. 

During all these years of your life, you’ve always been terrified of thunderstorms, especially of thunder. The ear splitting sound, the sudden bolt of light – it induces so much fear in you. But, for the first time, you’re feeling safe and loved with the slow rocking of his hips.

“You feel so good, sweetheart.” Jungkook whispers hotly in your ear. Your hazy, drooping eyes admire him in the dim light illuminating your shared bedroom. He looks so ethereal with some of his hair sticking to his forehead, honeyed skin glistening with perspiration. All the strong muscles of his built form flex to keep him hovering over you; his thrusts controlled, slow and steady. 

You can’t help but wonder how lucky you are to have him as your lover. No cause, you genuinely couldn’t ask for someone better to be by your side. As if he knows what you’re thinking about, Jungkook leans down to kiss you, your mouth opening up for him. Your soft moan encourages him to explore further, your tongues tangling together in their own dance of passion.

The kiss is all-consuming, setting your nerve endings on fire. Pressing into him more, you try to grind against his pelvis needily, seeking friction where you most want it. Jungkook immediately complies, his fingers finding your swollen clit and rubbing it in tight circles.

“Fuck, please…” Your breathless whisper is almost inaudible due to the heavy raining outside. But, he heard you – loud and clear.

He picks up the pace ever so slightly, his cock hitting all those sensitive spots deep inside your cunt. It makes you delirious. Burying your face in his shoulder, you bite down on his flesh in an attempt to hold yourself together. Jungkook hisses in pleasure, his member stimulating your g-spot and cervix with each of his deep thrusts. 

“Goddamn it, baby!” Jungkook grunts, his thumb pressing onto your sensitive bundle of nerves. He can sense that you’re close, sweet pussy clenching around him more often. “You’re doing so well, angel. Come for me.” You blindly pull him in for a kiss, muffling your moans and whimpers. The squelching sound of your and his body meeting over and over echoes through the room, making him groan.

You feel the pleasure coil in your lower belly tightening dangerously, snapping within moments. As the ecstasy crashes over you, Jungkook hisses, halting his movements for a split second to revel in the feeling of you clamping down onto his girth. You cry out his name, a string of incoherent words leaving you.

His thrusts turn fast and sloppy as he chases his own release after you. “Don’t pull out, please.” You whine, pussy walls clenching around his twitching cock. Tears gather in your eyes, your sensitivity making his movements feel more overwhelming. 

After a while, Jungkook finally reaches his own high with a low growl. He spills his seed deep inside you, thick ropes of his cum painting your walls white. You moan simultaneously, his spent body falling on top of you. 

“I love you so much,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him. His rapid heartbeat slows down as he catches his breath, lips pressing kisses on every inch of your skin within his reach. 

“I love you too, angel.” Jungkook nuzzles your neck endearingly. The rain outside has slowed down, the soft pitter-patter of it on the windows coaxing a sigh out of him.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 author’s notes ꒱

to celebrate the official release of still with you <3, a song that holds an enormous amount of significance to me. also, it’s monsoon over here, making it even more meaningful ❤️‍🩹! thank you so much for reading <33!! i hope you enjoyed it 🥺! apologies for any mistakes left in there!

consider leaving a reblog or a comment to let me know what you think of this!! feedback through asks will be appreciated too! support your local writers, it keeps us motivated to create and share 🌸!

↬ navigation

[bumblingbabooshka]

What I Say: I'm fine. What I Mean: There was a Star Trek Novel in which Tuvok and Jack Crusher (Beverely's Husband) have to go undercover in a bathhouse that they think is a brothel to get information out of a potential lead and because of a series of hijinks at one point must come to terms with the fact that they're definitely going to have to go into the boss's private room completely naked and might have to go even further than that to get the info they truly need. They were ready to go all in on that "I'm not gay but a mission's a mission" life.

Transcripts under the cut

[Image 1:

“We’re here to meet someone,” he said. “I was told that a Melacron named Pudris Barrh enjoyed visiting this establishment.” The alien smiled. “Oh, I see…you’re one of Barrh’s boys,” she remarked with a knowing lilt. Barrh’s boys? Crusher asked himself. What did she mean by that? He experienced a moment of alarm but kept his composure.

“If you can get past Old Scowly there,” the female continued, “you can join Barrh at his pleasures if you like." She raised a long slender arm and pointed to a gilded door to her right.] [Image 2:

“I don’t know for certain what kind of establishment this is,” said the commander, “but I can make a pretty good guess.”

“Unfortunately,” the Vulcan whispered back with sincere and undisguised revulsion, “so can I.”

"Still, we may have to go along with it.” Crusher regarded Tuvok. “Would that…pose a problem?”  “Naturally,” the Vulcan replied.

The commander grunted. “I was afraid you would say that.”

“And knowing what I do of human marriage customs,” said Tuvok, “I would imagine it would pose a problem for you as well.”

Crusher looked lost “Maybe we could just play along for some of it…for the sake of-”

“My master will see you now,” said Old Scowly. He had reappeared before the Vulcan knew it. “You may enter through the changing room, remove your clothes, and join Pudris Barrh at his pleasures.”] [Image 3:

As it happened, Tuvok wasn’t happy either. If he didn’t know better, he would have said that the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach was apprehension. Of course, that was impossible. His control over his emotions was impeccable. And yet the sensation remained.

“There must be another way,” said Crusher. “There is no other way,” the Vulcan told him. “This is the situation in which your plan has placed us.” He knew his words sounded biting, but he didn’t wish any of them back.

The human ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. “Damn it,” he said, “If Beverely ever…” “Find out about this?” the ensign suggested.

Frowning, Crusher nodded. “But as you say, there’s no other option open to us. I guess we’ll just deal with whatever comes as best we can.” He grunted. “The things we do for king and country.”] [Image 4:

When the air cleared for a moment - a byproduct of their entrance - the Vulcan was able to get a better look at their host. He was rather corpulent for a Melacron, it seemed, and more pale-looking than most.

As thick, sludgy ripples made their slow way outward from Barrh’s generous torso, he waved to Tuvok and Crusher. “Please, gentlemen, join me. We’ve not met yet, but there are few better places to get to know someone than in The House of Comfort!”

[Crusher] and Tuvok exchanged a quick glance. Taking a deep breath, the human walked up to the carpeted stairs and placed first one foot, then the other, into the hot, liquid muck.

The ensign had little choice but to follow suit. He assured himself, as he sank up to his chest in the thick, surprisingly pleasant-smelling stuff, that there was realy no logical reason T’Pel ever had to become acquainted with this misadventure.

Besides, he reflected, there was quite a good chance that the majority of his and Crusher’s actions would be classified. He had to confess that he found some comfort in the prospect.]

Bonus:

Tuvok and Crusher apparently both go home and tell their wives about this experience. I don't know if we learn of T'Pel's reaction but Beverely apparently thinks its hilarious!

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.

[ineed-to-sleep]

hunter vince and vampire pepper is so hot 🎤🎤 tell us more

TBH like I have no idea what's going on plot wise fnjfjcjjccn I'm just plagued by visions of them together 😔 it's something somewhere along these lines 👇🏻

Do you see my vision?? 👀 it's very like, enemies to lovers, trying to kill each other but also everything is super horny etc. Vincent takes everything really seriously while Pepper is literally just messing with him jvnvnnvnv he's like walking into the room with full vampire hunter gear stanced tf out and she's like "omggg what are you gonna doooo?? Point your big gun at me?? Pin me to the wall?? Spank me??? :3" and he's like "STOP MAKING IT WEIRD"

He's probably like a newbie working with the Second Inquisition and he makes the classic mistake of developing a crush on the vampire he's hunting(pepper). She catches on to that and 100% takes advantage of it to get the upper hand on him. His vampire hunter friends tell him he's so stupid for even talking to her and he's like "but. But she's not like the other vampires :(" like BOY that woman is MANIPULATING YOU.

He lets her escape many times bc she finds some way to convince him to let her go, and he eats up everything she says bc he likes her. He's SO BAD at his job. Then she starts getting attached to her little personal vampire hunter and obviously kills every other hunter the inquisition sends her way EXCEPT for Vincent. <3 the other hunters start making comments saying she must like him or something and he's like "omg do you really think so?? 🥺 uhm. Ahem 😐 uhh no sorry uhhhh death to all vampires yes let's kill them all" they're literally just living in a romcom djjfjfjckf

[canisvesperus]

I think y’all don’t realize how insulting it is as a descendant of pogrom refugees and Shoah victims to constantly hear Hitler analogies to such and such fictional blorbo. I don’t think you get to constantly compare shit to Hitler when you don’t even call out the antisemitism happening all around you! You don’t care when your friends repeat nazi talking points. You don’t care about Jewish suffering. You don’t care when I ask you to care. You don’t see it and you tell me I’m crazy for noticing! I have to live with this trauma of the literal holocaust every day. You know nothing of nazis and the things they did to us. And antisemitism doesn’t end there but you care more about fandom drama instead.

[quinn-pop]

kirby stuffs but it’s just bluey quotes

bonus: crying

okay ill be back when im older

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

I've got a more wholesome and simple request this time How would the SVE marriagables react to the Farmer telling them that they want to start a family (aka have kids with them)? And how quickly would they wanna "get to work" after the Farmer suggested it?

"Get to work", huh... 🌚

I have to say, I was a little hesitant about whether to make Farmer someone specific here. But in the end I decided to make Farmer as neutral as possible. Thank you so much for your question and enjoy 💕

SVE bachelors/ettes react to the Farmer telling them that they want to start a family (have kids with them):

_________________________________________

Magnus Rasmodius:

Yoba have mercy, Magnus has mixed emotions after Farmer said the word 'children'.... Technically, Magnus already has a daughter, but the wizard never took part in raising her. He blamed himself for the mistakes of his youth and no longer believed he would find happiness. But the beautiful Farmer appeared in his life, love, wedding, and now... This time, Magnus will do the right thing. Wizard finally believe he deserves another chance at a happy life and he'll do everything he can to be a wonderful husband to Farmer and a wonderful father to his and their children. No mistakes, not a step backwards. To his bedroom! Erm, that was too rush, wasn't it?

Victor:

"I've waited a long time for this moment... Honey, we'll get to it right now." *winks* "Wait for me here, dear...." *returns with a pile of books from the bookcase* "So, let's start with the 'everything for expectant parents' book...." If the Farmer was expecting, ahem, 'practice in the bedroom', well... they'll get it, but a little later. Victor decided to familiarise himself with the theory of starting a family first, to get it right, and then move on to the practice. He wants everything to go smoothly and safely for both of them. Such an exciting moment for Victor. Don't worry, Farmer, he will organise everything. I think they'll start in a month.

Lance:

*Chuckle* "What a coincidence, I just wanted to discuss this with you." Lance had been thinking about having a baby for a while now, but first the adventurer wanted to talk about his and Farmer's time management. After all, the baby would need all of parents' attention, and with the adventurer's responsibilities (Farmer + their basic farming duties) that could be problematic. However, when Farmer and Lance have discussed important questions, the pink-haired man will smile genuinely at Farmer and shower them with kisses. And then picks Farmer up in his arms and carries them to the bedroom, "to do his conjugal duty."

Sophia:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep?! Wait, no- I mean yes! I want kids! I mean... Right now?" Poor Sophia, she's red as a tomato, the question caught her off guard. In fact, she had been thinking about becoming a mum for a long time, but couldn't bring herself to bring it up with Farmer. But her spouse was ahead of the uncertain girl. The preparation itself will not begin immediately - the girl wants to anticipate everything. Special books and courses on what to do during pregnancy/what documents to prepare for adoption, prepare the house, prepare herself... It will take several months for sure, because Sophia takes it very seriously, and even though she is worried, the pink-haired girl knows that with her beloved Farmer they can do anything.

Claire:

"Kids? Oh, I don't even know..." Don't get Claire wrong - she would love to be a mother. It's just that weddings, fitting into a new community, moving to the farm and adapting to a new life - Claire is just getting used to it, and wouldn't want to rush things. And the ballet fan is very grateful that her spouse turned out to be an understanding person. In her spare time, Claire will be watching videos on the internet or reading articles useful for parents. For now, Claire and Farmer will slowly but surely prepare the house for a new family member, and in about six months she is ready to conceive a child/sign all the adoption papers.

Olivia:

Olivia knows exactly what to do when having a baby. After all, she'd already raised one child, her precious son, and she still remembered the right way to start. Only Olivia didn't know if her Farmer would share the idea of having children, but she's happy that Farmer was the first to broach the subject. In the case of pregnancy, they'd get started right away. If the case of adoption, that wise woman would first study what documents are needed to draw up the adoption so that there are no problems later in the process. Olivia won't forget to share funny stories from Victor's childhood, which will have wisdom and advice for Farmer as a future parent. How excited she is, very excited!

[solarsimblr]

Sorry if I overlooked it, but do you have a list/wheel posted somewhere for the events you're using in your Emerald Pine series? You've inspired me to try my own version for the Sims 4 but my lord, there's a lot to go through when getting started lol I think my brain might explode.

Hey! I've pretty much been using a combination of these two lists, with just minor edits. I put all the challenges I liked into one big list and updated the weightings so that major events are still relatively rare. More recently, I discovered @kayleigh-83's wonderful list and I'll probably incorporate some of her scenarios soon too!

I know a lot of people use this ROS program to randomize events, and that's definitely the easiest way to get started, since the lists I linked above are all already formatted for it! Personally, I had/have too much free time and wanted something more customizable, with integrated dice rolls, so I created my own randomizer using Perchance. I'd share the link, but I played around too much and the UI is a mess right now 🙈 Perchance is fairly user-friendly, though, so I highly recommend it if you're interested in that sort of thing! 😊

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Fontaine archon quest has come and gone and I need MORE MOTH sob

NO BECAUSE ME TOOOOOO I NEED FOUL LEGACY TO HAVE MORE THAN LIKE 5 MINUTES OF SCREENTIME AUUGHHHH

imagine if you jumped into the Primordial Sea with the Traveler and Neuvillette, not to fight- the starving narwhal would consume you without a second glance- but because Ajax is in there, Foul Legacy is in there, and you're not about to let them go off and get themselves nearly killed like they have so many times before- honestly, what were they thinking?! your feet land on congealed water with a light splash, everything oozing and swirling and dotted with stars. it sticks to your shoes like gel, and your lip curls in disgust before your gaze wanders to a familiar shape lying in a heap, all violet and charcoal and night-colored with a pop of deep, rusted crimson

Foul Legacy whines as you dart over, gashes and wounds leaking dark, starry blood through his armor and stained on every talon. he claws at the quicksand water, forcing himself to move forward and collapse into your arms with a choked whimper, clinging to you like a lifeline. all you can do is drag him out of range when the narwhal bursts forth from the sea, silently watching the Traveler take up their sword- somehow it's not the most terrifying thing you've ever seen, but being a Harbinger's significant other often means life or death situations. Legacy jolts in your arms every time the narwhal lets out an echoing cry, hooking his claws on the edge of your shirt as he trembles, dry sobs coming from his throat when you kiss his forehead and tell him that everything's going to be alright, your fingers tracing over the rough, worn patches on his palms from days and days of grasping his polearm in desperate battle

[total-drama-brainrot]

father ophelia. i need ur multi paragraph analysis on how camning date would happen. who would ask who out

Camning is such a weird pair to consider as an actual couple instead of two mutually pining idiots because I can't in good faith say that either of them would ever admit to having feelings for the other.

Don't get me wrong, Cameron isn't the type to suppress or deny his feeings or anything - in fact he'd be ecstatic at the prospect of having a crush on someone, because it's yet another wordly experience he's been deprived of his whole life that he's living for the first time. And that's exactly the issue; Cameron has no idea how to go about expressing these things, save for whatever romance based literature/tv shows he was exposed to growing up and, knowing Cameron, he'd be more than aware that they doesn't exactly portray a realistic perspective on real-life relationships. So he's back to square one when it comes to knowledge on how to deal with his feelings.

Which would mean he'd be the type to go completely non-verbal in front of Lightning, or otherwise be a stuttering mess. A pathetic puddle of a boy who has no idea how to deal with these new, weird feelings save for whispering "oh no he's hot" to himself.

On the other hand, Lightning is extremely prideful. Extremely prideful. He'd be completely in denial about having a crush on Cameron of all people because he's the antithesis of everything Lightning holds in high regard; Cameron isn't athletic or strong, he's not outwardly headstrong or competitive (at first glance, though Cameron does have a spine hidden somewhere in that red hoodie) and Lightning wouldn't see Cameron as someone who could relate to him in any way. Keep in mind, Lightning's a bit of an egotist, so he'd be under the assumption that his ideal partner would be a reflection of himself.

And Lightning isn't very bright, despite his namesake, so he wouldn't realise that's exactly why he likes Cameron so much. He's impressed by Cameron's fountain of knowledge and keen intellect. He's astounded by how Cameron can use his wit and his determination to win challenges without having to brute forcing his way to victory. He thinks Cameron is adorable and experiences cuteness aggression every time they lock eyes. So on so forth.

So with Cameron's Cameronness and Lightning's staunch denial, there's only one way these two would ever get together.

Lightning accidentally confesses.

Be it through an insult gone wrong during the competition, or maybe a freudian slip in a conversation post-RotI, or even him just plain denying any feelings for Cameron unprompted and inadvertantly outing himself as a Cameron Liker through his defensiveness. Either way, Cameron hears this confirmation of returned feelings and all of the knowledge he's accrued from his mother's books/shows comes in swinging - he asks Lightning to have dinner with him. And surprisingly, Lightning accepts.

...Because it's free food, not because he likes the wimp. That's his excuse.

And the two hit it off. Cameron spends the whole first date sweating profusely but miraculously not putting his foot in his mouth. Though he does oftentimes get too technical and booksmart for Lightning to understand what he's saying, but Lightning nods along politely anyway because he finds the enthusiasm on Cameron's face endearing.

In turn, Lightning's initial jibing insults (which, subconciously, he's only really using to keep up appearences) peter off into genuine compliments as he realises that wow, he actually really enjoys spending time with Cameron, and Cameron is really smart but not condecending in the slightest when he asks for elaboration on things he doesn't understand, and Cameron's got a lot of interesting thoughts that he's never considered, and...

Lightning realises that he might be very, very gay for Cameron.

In turn, Cameron's almost vibrating with excitement because he's talking to Lightning, and Lightning is talking back, and there's this natural chemistry between them that even he in all of his inexperience can feel sparking in the air now that Lightning's walls of superiority have finally crumbled somewhat. He's on a date with the boy he likes and it's going really well.

(None of his research could've prepared him for the actual experience of a first date - and oddly enough, Cameron is thankful that he didn't have any preconceived expectations for the night.)

The night goes well, they eat food at some fancy restaurant that Cameron pays for with his winnings, and as they go to leave Lightning - because he's not one to be outshone in the competitive context of being a "good date haver" - gives Cameron a peck at the corner of his mouth. It's brief, a ghost of an action really, but it's enough to have Cameron visibly light up as he returns the favour.

-

At some point after they've been going on these dates for a while (Lightning more often than not taking Cameron to various sports games "for the experience", and Cameron indulging Lightning by taking him on hikes whilst he studies the wildlife they come across, ect ect) they breach the topic of being boyfriends in an awkward but sweet conversation that Lightning spends the next few months poking fun at Cameron for.