#This has been coming up a lot lately
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This man has no idea how close he is at all times to being attic wifed
#NEED people to be insane about him#Lud has to burn at least four proposal letters each week#most of them from an insane puritan idiot#he’s just like yeah that confession was kinda cute but he’ll get over it#fast forward to a century or so later and he’s like wow my underwear has been disappearing a lot lately where do they keep going :/#I honestly think Gil would be kinda into it if he gave it a chance#well sexually at first at least#the guy is big everywhere that’s perfect for him#every meeting Al comes up like omg hi~! and glares at anyone trying to approach their conversation#he’s this 🤏 close to straight up eating him in an obsessed way#digital art#my art#fanart#hetalia#hws prussia#hetalia fanart#aph prussia#gilbert beilschmidt#alfred f jones#aph america#hws america#hws germany#hws england#pruame#amepru
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ive been thinking about taco and balloon forming a little alliance post s1/ pre s2 where they'd (begrudgingly) work together planning on how to break into hotel OJ to steal stuff to take back to their makeshift camp like food, blankets, pillows, etc,,, anything that could be useful to them
#UGH TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE MY DRAFT R U KIDDING ME WROTE A TON#ok let me go over this again as i remember#balloon ends up encountering tacos makeshift camp wandering in the woods#i like to think balloon makes close to zero noise when he walks around#kinda floats around if u will#taco figures she could use this to get balloon to sneak into hotel oj to get her stuff#well. she tells balloon its “for the benefit of both”#balloon and taco parallel eachother in so much#both of them put up a “mask” as a strategy to further into the game which lead to both of them losing all of their relationships after s1#although both of them eventually ended up feeling guilty for what they did it took taco much longer#i think their alliance worked decently well for a while but balloons guilt and need to apologize is what drove them apart#by the time of that one scene s2 ep7 where balloon goes up to apologize and has his conversation with oj they'd already drifted apart#i think I'll doodle some more stuff with them eventually im still waiting to my charger to come in the maaaailllll#all of this has probably already been pointed out but im having fun and they've been on my mind a lot lately#so#shrugs#im screaming into the void#ii taco#ii balloon#inanimate insanity
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Some sad kinda fucked Ifrit thoughts because I woke up and they came
Cw; Substance Abuse, Sex as a coping mechanism, and just kinda general sads.
Nothing graphic said but still putting those ^
Ifrit
Big, Strong, oh so stupid Ifrit.
That's what was thought of him. A muscle head who fucked hard, partied hard, and got fucked up without a care.
An easy fuck and go without connections, without having to stick around after sorta thing
That isn't who he was though.
This was all learned behavior because it's what got him the attention he craved, any sense of being useful, cared about even if it was only because his body was useful
He loved and hated every single second of every single hookup, high, and any other thing that got him out of his head
If he wasn't happy he wasn't useful, if he didn't stay the persona they all knew he wouldn't be liked, if she showed just how broken inside he truly was he'd lose everything and everyone he had, no matter how superficial he needed the attention
It didn't matter if it was a vicious cycle of regrets, and horrible sleepless night, bad highs and.. thoughts he shouldn't have. Couldn't have
It was all he had now
His pack was broken.
His pack hated him after he left.
He never bothered to try and reconnect, why would he.
Aether, Mountain, and Dew stayed with the band, Zephyr never spoke to him, Mist was long gone to be with the lake.
He couldn't bother any of them with this.
With him.
He left the pack, he left the band, that was his choice. He left the only people who cared about him and for what? To go and be whatever he was now?
Yes.
Even when he knew he could possibly rekindle something he didn't. Shoved those feelings down and shoved more substance down his throat.
He didn't deserve it.
Didn't deserve to have that happiness.
That comfort.
Ifrit used to be the most caring, lovable golden retriever there was.
Always following someone's trail, loving on them, and doing every favor he could
His pack loved him
He loved his pack
Now a days he's nothing more then an old dog owned by a family long since grown.
One that's waiting for the first excuse to be put down despite all the love it has left to give.
He thinks it's what he deserves.
A life of misery, and pain without comfort.
He watches his old pack in longing, the only happiness coming from seeing how happy and healthy they are
He'd do anything for them even now
He's so happy to see them thrive and love each other
Even if it also breaks his heart.
#He doesnt know how Zeph looks on longing for his mate to come home to him.#He doesn't know how much Aether wants to reach out but doesn't know how that won't send Ifrit farther into the deep end#He doesn't know that after the transition Dew wanted nothing more then for the fire ghoul to help him. comfort him. teach him#Dews been too afraid to ever speak up to him. After a offhanded comment a very fucked up Ifrit made when he smelled the ghouls scent#He couldn't bring himself to thinking he was hated#He doesn't know that the teas and medicines he finds in his medicine cabinet that help a suspicious amount with the exact hangovers#and issues hes been having were Mountain sneeking them in for him. A silent way to care without upsetting him#He doesn't know that the occasional rocks and shells he finds were small trinkets from Mist#He doesn't know that hes still very very loved by his pack#---#cw substance use#tw substance abuse#These are juet some disjointed Ifrit thoughts#I kinda want to put the tags into the post itself but idk#Too late now#Ifrit has been on my mind so much lately#I think in my lore he does eventually get help and get back into the Pack#Aether and Ifrit are mated in my mind#but also Ifrit and Zeph are#idk it's a lot of thoughts I dont know if I could ever put onto paper#ifrit ghost#ifrit ghoul#dewfrit#aether ghoul#aether ghost#water dew#dewdrop ghost#dewdrop ghoul#dewdrop
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project sekai is crazy because literally every character is queer trans neurodivergent physically disabled or some combination of the above
#and im not talking abt hcs im talking abt actual coding#minori is very explicitly in love with haruka#harukas is less obvious but she clearly returns minoris feelings as well#shizuku is so obviously nd [likely autistic but she could read as a number of other things]#airi is incredibly trans coded [that one event + her fes card]#mizuki is canonically trans#ena has ptsd in some format due to her fathers abuse and shes also got a lot of cluster b traits#kanade has ptsd from what happened with her father and wlw and physically disabled coded#mafuyu. oh gd. the cdd coding the transmasc coding the girlkisser coding.#anhane is basically canon#touya is autistic coded as is nene and ichika#shiho is nd#everybody in l/n likes girls#ichika is aro coded#and autistic like i said#saki is canonically physically disabled#akito [like ena] has some measure of ptsd from his father#akito and touya r both mlm coded#rui literally compares himself to a famously gay scientist in jp [FUCK THE EN LOCALIZATION OF THAT BTW]#emu is VERY CLEARLY AUDHD and somewhat wlw coded#nene is also wlw#tsukasa comes across as very nd#all of wondershow is aspec coded as well#and oh gd ive been talking a while i need yo shut up#but like. MAN. man. [goes crazy]#77ngiez.txt#can u guys tell ive been thinking abt pjsk lately
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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this has been the worst sim drop rollout of all time omg i'm so sorry
#i did not expect to have so many tasks pile up on me one after the other#idk which one of you has been manifesting this sim drop to come out but it's been on my mind a lot lately#i have no promises but they're ready. all they need now are some skills & careers
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Aww, Ash admitted to me when we were discussing Star Wars opinions that she's not only thought about these things before, she's actually really feeling like using her advanced creative writing degree to write ...................... fanfiction, and has actually done so in the past.
me, shoving my 67 SW fanfics on AO3 under the bed: Oh hey, awesome! That sounds really interesting.
#eventually we did compare our different planetary headcanons#she's like 'even legends never explained xyz thing about the sith and i had a lot of fun coming up with this whole plot about it...'#me: 'i support you having fun with it! i also wrote a fic where i came up with a bunch of planetary headcanons#different planet but i had this whole idea about alderaan having a now long-past but still impactful colonialist history#and wrote some fics in which that's significant'#her (visibly relieved): oh wow i had no idea#having a very online star wars friend irl who has no idea about my fannish history is a very charming experience haha#she obviously thought i might judge her over star wars fanfic and spending her time on insufficiently literary things and meanwhile i'm. me#anghraine babbles#fic talk#star wars#rl: ash#honestly even more delightful given that i've been thinking a ton about the lucy fics lately and how much i want to write tjatsl's sequel
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starter call ☆ feel free to give this a like if you want me to write you something up from kira. specify verse if you want, and muse if you're a multi!
#ok throwing this out too!#a nice and shiny starter call.... no cap for now too#because my muse for k.ira has been insane lately#and i've got a lot of new mutuals i'm excited to write with <3#COME AND GET UR STARTERS RN#even when i say i'll do one - liners i end up writing paragraphs....#[ 𝐢. ] ooc › i love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Someone who constantly embarks on ship wars and fandom wank... doesn't sound too mentally stable. It's sad, really.
Dedicating all that energy and free time to arguing about fictional characters and their relationships, instead of channeling it into something more relaxing or creative, sounds destructive.
Seek help, please. Before it devours you completely.
#ship wars#fandom wank#fandom discourse#i posted one of my gaming gifs on twt yesterday#where my favorite character has been modded over another#the tweet of mine blew up overnight and has already gotten more engagement there than here (unsurprisingly)#and someone came to my replies with a crying emoji that it's not really that character#honestly. you don't say. there's a mod hastag. but it's not really that. i ignored them for now because the reply wasn't even that bad but#the scary thing is: i actually recognized their username#and once i did my blood nearly froze#lately i've seen this person twt a lot. constantly in other people's tweets and bothering everyone#hating on my favorite characters and relationships and trying to 'debunk' some canon interactions between characters#and they don't even have that many followers on twt (a little over 1k) but they've been in everyone's tweets in that fandom lately#so i checked their acc after that reply and a lot of their recent tweets were about that war too#and i was like. oh my god. they found me#bitch i'm famous? lmao#anyway i might just ignore them from now on. maybe even block them if push comes to shove#they didn't say anything that bad to me (for now) but this could become a problem later and i do not have the energy for it#like seriously. if this is all you do in your spare time. it's not healthy#i should know lmao
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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26 may 2024—got my much wanted (((and needed))) pamper sesh (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ im so happeh like yay!
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 hand spa x foot spa × hot stone massage × microdermabration and perfectio x face therapy
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 miss v, the one who attended to me, told me my hands are like a baby's bc theyre actually already soft prior to the hand spa lol
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 i supah dupah mega ovah missed doing this!
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 gosh tell me why did i stop doing this again???¿?? right, life happened—
𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼 felt like a princess—nawp, wait, scratch that hMpf i felt like a dyosa fairy queen thank you very much
#grabe im so doing this again gRrRRRrRRRrrrrrr#ang saya ko kasi im doing things for mahself again#which no one has stopped me naman like even moosey kept telling me that i could do everything i want naman#and he will support me naman like kahit saang dagat ko pa gustuhing pumunta lol#namention niya yun kasi lately na-open up ko na plan ko magfreedive#and he was like oo nga diba matagal mo na yan gusto gawin#and then i was like oo nga noh why am i stopping mahself ba from doing things like?¿¿?¿?¿¿?#eniwey ive been doing a lot of things talaga that i love lately hehe pati nga yung mga matagal ko na gusto itry#nagpainting lessons me!!!!! sa church namin!!!!! IM SO HAPPEH HUHUHUHU#been a while since i held a paint brush like last time was high school pa ko#would u believe me if i tell u i was our batch's associate head artist for our school mag and paper#yEp once upon a time i was THAT kind of artist#and then 🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋 happened so i rlly lost touch doon sa creative aspect slash side ko na yun#like me being a writer is still with me pero yung one with the colors grabe nawala talaga kasi nagkaroom me ekis experience#so ayOrn we r going to hv another painting sesh soon!!!!! flowers naman ata hehehehehehehe#im so happeh kasi may mga ganitong activities sa church and i feel like im going back to my roots ganOrn#tapos nagstart na rin me practical driving classes ko sa car hehehe next is motorcycle maybe after this week#drivers license here i come!!!!!!!!!#tapos maybe freediving or ewan ko pa how abt sewing hehehehehhehe#gosh ang saya ko#may moments of lungkot pero dama ko rin yung gaan ykwim#naiiyak ako anUe bAaaaaaaaAAAaa#donut#cottoncandy#icecream#cookie#i did not check this for errors so excuse me if you ever see anything#skl ; 🦇 ba
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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good morning friendz and happy monday ! the start of a new week can always feel a lil intimidating but who knows what kind of goodness lies ahead ! so let’s take it together in stride ෆ ! as always, me + the blorbos are cheering for youuu ! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و mwaaah !
#last weeks full moon + mercury retrograde was TOUGH.#but the moon has subsided and there’s only 2 more days of retrograde#hang in there !!!!#if things have been overwhelming lately then i’m taking your hand and we can ride out the storm together#love u all lots !#still have a few things to catch up on the lil blog + i shake my fist at work every day for not letting me come online SOB#they said no more service for u girlie we saw ur tumblr /j#but hopefully after work i can finish some mootie sleepovers + post some things#i hope you all have a wonderful daaaay ! ^_^#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
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