#but he’s still relatively similar
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After nearly 2 YEARS now, here is Aaron’s possibly official design
#I say possibly mostly because i might add or tweak a few more things before im completely happy with it#I also haven’t figured out his story yet so he also might get changed a bit#accordingly#he did change… a lot….. compared to his first design#but he’s still relatively similar#to the og#but yea his 2 year anniversary is coming up pretty soon#EVERYTHING since then has been basically trashed though so this is actually pretty reeecent#dhmis#keyman dhmis#key dhmis#dhmis key man#dhmis key guy#dhmis gay key#dhmis mean steve#mean steve dhmis#dhmis key#🍄🎨🍭🌈#I’m so late to the dhmis fandom its laughable
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(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)
grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.
in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.
cut to wild life.
this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.
and yet:
"I'm going to have to kill Joel"
"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"
because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.
there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.
(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)
#it would be so SO interesting to add martyn into the mix#(<– probably my most common quote but. he's the brainrot singularity ok)#i don't doubt for a SECOND life series martyn is extremely selfish#(it was so nice to have that recognised after limlife – even if it arguably did get worse over time)#(cue cc!martyn's 'ren's death permanently made martyn more selfish after 3rd life')#but the thing is – does the win even mean much to him anymore?#he was so ready to take the crown he was so ready to end it all#and yet#next series he's right back. everything starts as normal. nothing changed#does it even matter anymore? is there a point? to me it's no coincidence he's started placing lower afterwards#(before it was 6th (last member of dogwarts to fall in 3rd life despite being on the losing side of the war) 3rd 3rd 1st)#there's no way he has of knowing his fragment was repaired by a listener – he has no idea what fragments even are + is unconscious in the-#-void + has NO idea watchers and listeners are even at play!#(that's sth there's often confusion around – he's NOT a listener in his lore! he's not on a similar playing fieldl! and though the watchers#did reveal themselves at the end of last life/ that was wiped from c!martyn's memory as he went into the light (lore stream)#he's a regular confused traumatised person whose changed for the worse over the death games whom the watchers dislike after evo#who just wants things to be over with...)#anyway this to say#though if he WANTED to get to the end i'm SURE he wouldn't sacrifice himself (c!martyn at least – it's still relatively close to the win so#-not sure abt cc!martyn)#...does he actually want to?#anyway martyn ramble over#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#3rd life smp#secret life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar gtws#trafficblr#double life smp
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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It's interesting to think about how, to me at least, Dust and Killer are like mirror versions of each other.
One who joins a villain enthusiastically, jumps at the chance to leave his past behind and have a purpose again, and the other who has to be dragged in, would rather rot in the consequences of his own actions.
One who needs orders, needs the distraction and the action and the thrill, can't sit alone with his thoughts for too long lest he hear them clearly, and the other who can't bring himself to ignore the ghost over his shoulder, would rather sit in place and listen to his own self loathing parroted back at him than stand up and find a way to drown it out.
One who doesn't associate with his past anymore, that wasn't me and I wasn't him, and cannot stand the thought of going back from where he came, and the other who wants nothing more than to be his old self again but feels so strongly that he doesn't deserve to return to the life he tore down himself.
They both wear their new names like dog collars, but one is a gift given by someone else because he's theirs, he has somewhere he belongs that he's expected to return to, and the other is a choker tying him to a post, warning others of his danger while never allowing him to get out of arm's reach of his past.
And getting them both back-to-back while trying to understand mortals was probably enough to give Nightmare whiplash
#UTDR#UTMV#He kind of expected when picking up Dust that because they were so similar they would get along#And boy did he have a big storm coming#I don't think he and Dream ever fought that much as kids#I feel like they were relatively nice happy brothers for the most part#And having Dust and Killer in the castle together was eye opening#Not that they would have been considered brothers at that point but y'know#Anyway it's day 4 of my week off and I still have absolutely no motivation to draw which sucks#But I am working through cross stitching the lil pixel versions of everybody so that's nice#Also I'm not main tagging this because some people have very strong opinions about the characterisation of these two#and I know I'm doing it wrong just to have fun so
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Here are my TNMN babis :3
Alt. version under the cut and Delora's other outfit
Alt version with Delora's doorman outfit
#that's not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#tnmn#tnmn fanart#that's not my neighbor oc#thats not my neighbor oc#tnmn oc#original character#fanart#shin's bimbinis#delora steding#wilbert colemann#noriku hirawa#lazaro palmiotto#ollie palmiotto#stanford abelforth#aditha gulliver#ruslan gulliver#da grind is rel :'>#anyways they're finally done now off to make their infos and also some other references#i changed noriku's hairstyle because i accidentally made it similar to estrellita oops#made adjustments with delora's outfit#and wilbert is still wilbert#don't get fooled with lazaro looking old af he's literally on his 30s#just stressed out and tired#aditha is now added :3
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Can’t let the hoes know I kinda fuck with foxlamb
#I feel like a hypocrite bc I dislike narilamb and foxlamb has similar vibes to narilamb#but idk I feel like there’s a difference#like with Nari we were basically forced to do his bidding#granted we can chose to do fucked up shit w/o his input#but like Nari basically used us to free himself#with fox you actively chose to sacrifice followers and ratau#there is an option to sacrifice a heart/pound of flesh for the third questline#but still there’s a choice involved#and if you refuse the fox is understandably upset but he doesn’t push on it#he’s like well ok but if you want to go through with it you know where to find me#and I will fully say that foxlamb with solange is not healthy#well it’s ironically healthier than narilamb#but still relatively not healthy#basically fox is: I can make her worse#and solange is like: I know he’s trying to make me worse and I’m not exactly falling for it but he’s very useful for disposing of spies#idk I have fun lore with them#cosmic chatz#cotl#cult of the lamb
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... it's just hit me that lister describes the bathroom kiss as assault and even when jimmy reassures him that he doesn't see it that way and doesn't have a problem with it, lister refuses to accept that it was anything other than objectively assault
while two days earlier jimmy insisted that a 32-yr-old having sex with lister at age 16 was wrong, despite lister not seeing it that way and not having a problem with it
does that mean that lister took that conversation on board but only as far as "the person on the receiving end of an advance can't accurately assess whether or not it was wrong" and is now equating himself to the woman that took advantage of him . because i will weep
#i am conflicted about the bathroom kiss to an extent#because on the one hand . do not kiss someone without asking dude wtf#but also . the difference in jimmy's response to it compared to the magnet situation which is? relatively similar#w magnet he was 'this is fine'ing his whole way through it and forcing himself to be ok with it and would've likely kept going if—#— lister hadn't interrupted it#whereas in the bathroom he is in an objectively worse mental state & more consistently dissociative despite being sober . yet he actively—#— considers it and almost goes along with it before deciding for Both his and lister's sakes not to#and i think his clarity & consideration there as well as the fact he felt Safe to pull away is meaningful to an extent#because it's one of the only situations this week where he's actually felt & acted on a sense of control over what happens to him#+ lister's immediate reaction being to back off and recognise his being at fault and never once holding it against jimmy#like again . should not have happened do not kiss ppl without asking#but i do find myself viewing it in a very different light to the v comparable magnet situation#anygay i am rambling in tags again when i should be asleep but still#i worry that lister is now viewing himself in the same light as jimmy views the ppl that took advantage of lister#but i Also worry that he is viewing himself as Worse than those ppl bc he can't/won't accept that he was taken advantage of#i do also now kind of want to write a Lister In Therapy oneshot partly just for the catharsis of imagining that boy getting some gd therapy#iwbftreread
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today's HR take I'm choosing to be scandalized over is the idea that Lisa Kleypas did Westcliff dirty.
#i hate to say it (lies i don't)#but that man was preeeeetty damn consistently written re the consent stuff since the beginning of IHOA#the thing is the prior books he appears in- Worth Any Price and Again the Magic and Secrets of a Summer Night#we never actually get his POV#and we KNOW his *reputation* is that of a very powerful very proper nobleman but that's just his reputation#from SoSn onwards we start to get hints that his reputation and how he actually conducts his personal life is quite different#the similarity is that he's relatively dispassionate in how he conducts his personal and public life..... until he meets Lillian#someone who throws him off his game and someone he feels something more for for the first time in his life#my point is the pear bottle scene tracks as far as his prior actions go#however if Lisa Kleypas WANTED to edit it properly to include consent but still keep in that sex scene she totally could have#lisa kleypas#historical romance#romance novels
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I think I accidentally made Wriothesley AuDHD. fuck
#ingital#did you know there's a bit in ingital i cut out where he tells Neuvillette they have to go get their kids tested. it's cut out of the carol#and vautrin scene. because I wanted to recontextualise carole's canon story as like about her social ostracisation because she's#a weird little girl with a very strong sense of justice (autistic like her dad lol). and I wanted it to just be a family moment where#wriothesley just very casually suggests getting their kids tested to see if they need additional support. and its just because i wanted it#to be seen as a very normal. even slightly positive moment (carole you're just like your papa!). because . you dont often see an autism#diagnosis as a Normal thing. much less a silly fun thing. and Ingital is silly fun the fic#the thing is. I specifically sat down and told myself. I'm gonna write a neurotypical man because not every single guy in my fic has to be#neurodivergent. when I write wriothesley it's usually more about trauma cptsd and high functioning depression anyway.#but I am autistic. even my trauma/depression/mentally ill experience is viewed through autistic lens. which is why im like#I should learn how to write a neurotypical man right. this is so dire. because what if i CANT. GOD#severe trauma does things to your neurotype anyway so he's Not Neurotypical but GODDDDDDDDDDD I made the fucking. disorganised#basement dwelling tech nerd gag in the latest chapter. and I FORGOT THAT THAT'S TIPPING INTO AUDHD TROPES/STEREOTYPES.#I know this had potential to go into audhd territory from Day 1 when I decided he fucking dwells on stack exchange#but i told myself. well. just because he's a nerd and highly intelligent doesn't mean he's audhd. right. because if he still#has relatively normal sensory experiences (outside of ptsd/other mental illness symptoms) and is still within normal range of organisation#then he's not audhd. because the difference between audhd disorganisation/dysregulation and similar symptoms in depression/other illnesses#IS THAT HE'S STILL GONNA BE DISORGANISED WHEN HE'S NOT DEPRESSED!!!!!!! And he's not depressed in his little basement enclosure.#that . level of happy chaos. is exactly how he naturally operates when he's allowed to do what he wants. I fucking made him audhd AGAIN#and he even has his own extremely strange way of naming files.
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to be clear, i'm not angry about pretty boy slade wilson at all, if clark is just starting out then bruce has probably only been at it for a couple years himself, and dick is definitely still flipping about at haly's with his totally alive not ever gonna die parents and a good few years from slade deciding that his archnemesis needs to be a teenager from the most insane family in all of north america, it makes sense that slade so far is a young man still fulfilling mercenary contracts and other things like that and still in the relative flush of youth
also again, the way they drew him was hot, if this is how slade's anime twink phase goes i'm not mad about it
#personal#my adventures with superman#like slade being around clark and bruce's age makes sense considering he has kids that are dick and jason's ages#so if they're young men (and we know clark is a young man because he's a first time intern and literally started superman yesterday)#(and stands to reason bruce is at a similar age even if he's not in this show)#then slade too would be a relatively young man#with his anime snow white hair and anime golden eyes this is the best show ever made i'm sorry i can't stop giggling#it's not the fact that they made him young that's making me laugh again that makes sense#unexpected to me cuz again i'm used to him being an older gentlement with his shitty relationships with his children#and his rivalries with teenagers (the fact that he shows up in utrh just to sic assassins on nineteen year old jason for NO reason is just)#(it's insane why is he picking fights with batman's children while they're still children calm down buddy)#it's the fact that they had a choice on how to draw him and they just went He Will Be The Most Beautiful Girl In The Show#i love it
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Why did tfp do starscream like that? ill always wonder
#when i tell you once i saw what starscream looked like in other media i was so confused#because they all have some relative similarity and then theres tfp#like i can get behind soundwaves redesign because theres still some relativety#but starscream…#i mean how he used to emote with his wings i fuck with heavily i love that#but they couldve drawn more from his usual design#bayverse does not count here i do not accept the majority of designs from that series
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This is my beautiful tomb baby whose actions will lead to the foundation of Dragon Age OSHA
P.S. ignore the TV bars in hair, I have no idea why the game does that to me.
#i just keep making random guys in the character creator and then I close it#it's like a doll maker to me#i originally gave him Vallaslin and then i went 'hmm. no i think this is a tomb baby' and changed them into lightning scars#but I didn't get a close up of that#i also think he doesn't look fucked up enough#like yeah ok the eye tilt and eyelashes are sufficiently off-putting but idk i feel like he still doesn't look elven enough#or like. i guess it's sufficient for Dra//gon A//ge because some of the elves do look relatively normal albeit a bit...sharper? than humans#wish the creator had more sliders though. I remember that someone modded Inquisition to have more sliders so maybe when#we figure out this game we'll manage to make something similar#but alas for now the whole server is struggling with making hair work
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Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.
The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.
#not even gonna tag this cause I don’t want to start discourse in the tags but you can absolutely still explore the concepts of patriarchy#toxic masculinity misogyny and rape culture if the genders where swapped#like those concepts don’t disappear just because Anya is a boy now cause you have to think of all the ways it applies to male victims and#I just don’t understand why people keep getting angry when people facilitate different discussion the game opens you up to#like yes I get the frustration with not seeing the conversations you want but start them go find them why complain on other posts when#people are bringing attention to similar issues and the ways they are overlooked dismissed or blame the victim#I for one think we should have more basic clarifying conversations of SA rape cultures and how toxic masculinity and sexism create scenarios#like the Tulpar and enable men like Jimmy but I also can understand and enjoy the topic being expanded upon to include other cases on a#flipped scale like yes how male centered the fandom is is annoying considering the topic but seeing comments saying that SA isn’t as harmful#to men cause they can’t get pregnant is a whole can of worms you really need to unpack cause holy shit#like in this scenario if Jimmy is pregnant and can’t get rid of the baby Anya is the father yes Jimmy is pregnant but that’s because in this#swap she assaulted a man lied to either say it was consensual he forced himself on her or like canon panicked and semi admitted to forcing#him either way he is afraid to do anything because men do get blamed for defending themselves against women in these situations not to#mention the shaming that occurs because he is a man and should step up for the kids sake and likely be told he should be proud a girl wanted#him that much like yes you have to explain it more but bodily autonomy in this scenario is just as nuanced and I can’t believe I have to#defend something being male centered in a game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst just because people are saying SA for men#is not as damaging or degrading or harmful to autonomy as it is to a woman like how can you want conversations on rape culture and shut down#people bringing up other nuances in the conversation#like people are gonna jump around with it I know but if you only want to talk about one thing stay in that sphere like I just don’t get#going to another space especially one that isn’t even being weird or toxic and starting shit cause you don’t like it like the amount of#unnecessary and mean comments on normal art of think pieces I’ve seen on Twitter is crazy like it’s stupid callout shit for the sake of just#not liking something like I’m seeing so much screen shotting and vague posting like just at the bitch and fight about it like it’s still a#relatively small fandom ur just asking for in fighting on like the few things we shouldn’t have to worry about#as a victim my self and who has been in other situations and being afab I just can’t understand the vitriol toward this sort of discussion#mouthwashing#actually I will tag this cause you can explore the themes in mouthwashing still stop being freaks and just block bitches ong
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In regards to F1, I think I finally understand why I have latched onto Max Verstappen.
It’s because he slightly looks like and reminds me of my brother*.
#*not my actual brother—it’s a found family situation#i am still an only child#bahaha 🤣#i also relate to his family dynamic—i don’t have a piece of 💩 dad like him but uh… definitely got some toxic relatives in this tree—#as well as his work ethic and how he’s perceived by certain aspects of the media#the nicest term i’ve been called by certain coworkers is ‘intense’ just because i know what i’m doing#his off-track personality and sense of humor is also similar to mine and my brother’s#i’m not a bitch i promise#but then again that’s probably what a bitch would say#bahaha 🤣 🤣#max verstappen
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Andrea Stella literally said they're going to use Lando to train Oscar
hell yea sibling that's how F1 teams work!
#they still use lewis' tyre data and he left a decade ago#to win in f1 you must use everything available to you and lando is currently better than oscar so they can use his data to find improvement#it's not like they're going to steal lando and put him in oscar or something#they're just going to look at the relative tyre deg lmao#lando will also have access to all the data and they will probably even use some elements of oscar's driving to help lando!#bc they drive quite similarly and have very similar feedback they are ideal teammates to compare data with and improve with#whereas if you have eg a checo and max or lando and danny situation it's hard to help the one behind#bc even trying to find similarities to work with is half the battle#anyway it's a healthy and good dynamic to do this actually#and will also help lando
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of all things in my au im putting mrs gleeful in a prominent role? so thats how my life is going
#my post#gravity falls#im working on my reverse relativity falls au rn#and i have NEVER liked 1:1 swap aus so im not making the handyman soos' grandma nor am i making the cashier manly dan#im also just not interested in writing about those characters ajfhshd sorry#fiddleford is the handyman in mine and. mrs gleeful is the cashier#ive just always found her interesting actually !!! we almost never see her and we dont even know her first name#but shes clearly been through so damn much ??? i know you could say all of the characters probably have but#idk she just stuck out to me#i was going over the list of gf characters to fill that role and i was like. fuck it. mrs gleeful#BUT she is not a romantic interest to either of the stan twins ok. i never liked that storyline even in the og show#but they all do still become friends of course#i think im gonna name her babs (short for barbara). why? because i couldnt think of anything better-#than naming her something ever so vaguely similar to buds name#but hes not really a factor in this story concept (yet?) so shrug#anyway yeah#mrs gleeful
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